Yeah, I think it's the right term. I hear that a lot, that people are afraid of saying something wrong. I think trans people are generally considered really touchy types, which I think is mostly representative of the outraged types (not that it isn't justified in many cases), but still a bit of a misattribution. Historically a lot
of humor has come from ridiculing gender norm breaking, even if it's not always obvious, and it has and still does hurt. I understand, however, that people are still getting used to the idea that breaking gender norms is a serious reality for some people. There are a lot of social habits which are... loaded, I guess. But people are just coming to realize that.
Me, I recognize when it's just a slip, when somebody truly does respect it, when a person is trying, or when a person doesn't consider it an issue (but still uses proper pronouns). It's hard to offend me. I think that people like me tend to keep to themselves though. I don't like to draw attention to it, as my goal is passing. I don't think it should be hidden away though, which is why I tend to be vocal about it and come upfront about it. I'm pretty tired of it being something people just don't talk about openly.
I wish I could help people relax around me, but I know I'm just one voice. So, the best I can do is not take it personally when they're awkward. I don't know if they're being timid due to fear of offending me, or being quiet because they don't "agree" with my existence. I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt...
I would like to think that people are generally okay with people screwing up if they're at least trying. It still is kinda like "eh" but you know, times are changing! People don't just evolve overnight into understanding. It takes exposure.>>9915
Well, people have different definitions of "up in their face". For some, it's having nothing else to talk about, being needlessly confrontational, etc. For others, it's just... being whatever your gender is. Not that it matters, because I don't really need to say anything for people to automatically be uncomfortable on the basis that I'm trans. Oftentimes, people mention it before me because they have to seem supportive I guess. Which I appreciate, in an awkwardly cute sort of way.
But it's always in the background, until a good amount of time passes and they realize I'm just a person doing their own things with hobbies and stuff. For a while though, I'm just a big "TRANS" sign.
Hey, do whatever makes you happy!>>9916
Mmm, well, I don't know if I agree. I used to think that way but I think there's more nuance to it than simply giving. It just doesn't work all the time to do that, especially when you and your partner are on unequal footing. I think to love another person properly, one really has to be able to love themselves equally. I think I have a fairly decent understanding of love. It's an invitation into the ego, where both of you become part of the others'. For mentally balanced people, this is a great, deep experience which raises one's understanding of themselves and the world. For unhealthy people, their ego can be a treacherous place to be, which leads to a lot of problems. Self-hatred or self-distancing becomes partner hatred and distancing. Destructive behaviour begins to include destroying the partner.
I have so much to learn and I'm waiting for the next big lesson. But I think I'm starting to get it. This is mostly observation, and only partly experience.
Anyway, I gotta go! I'll be doing my late night preps and eating. It's been a lovely talk, guys. I love you!!!