Stepping Down Nimble Wing (Element of Flight) !!Pinkie Pie ## Mod No.11816
To cut right to the chase and get the initial message out of the way:
I've decided to step down as a moderator of Ponychan.
There is... a lot that I'd like to say. A lot that I should say. But I'm not really sure how to say it. I've been with Ponychan since 2011, and I've been a mod since around the middle of 2014. Being here has been one hell of a ride, and I'm endlessly grateful to every single one of you for being here with me, no matter how long, on such a wonderful site.
I've made friends that, even if they don't still post here, I still keep up with off-site. I've learned, changed, and grown as a person. I've been through highs and lows. And I have all of you to thank for that. And... the issue, I suppose, is that I'm not the only one that's changed.
If I were to really try to sum up the reason for all of this, I'd say it's because I'm tired of lying to myself. Tired of lying to all of you. I've been in denial for a long time, and I've been trying to push past it all, but it just isn't working. This site is still Ponychan, yes. But the Ponychan that I fell in love with, the Ponychan that I feel passionate about, the Ponychan that I could put endless hours into without batting an eye...? It's not the same Ponychan we have here today.
Now, that's not to say that the site's bad. It's just... changed. I've grown less passionate about the community, the posts, the things going on. Coming here to lurk, to post, to moderate... it's gone from being something I look forward to doing to be something that I have to force myself to do simply because it's my "job." I rarely find threads I want to participate in, and I've simply run out of ideas on threads of my own to create.
And, in the end, a user who isn't passionate about the site, who feels little to no reason to participate, and contributes only on rare occasions does not deserve to call themselves a moderator.
I've been telling myself that I still love this site just as much as I did back then, and I've been passing that message on to the rest of you. I've been hiding behind a desire to hold on to what I used to love, but it's just not there for me anymore. And trying to hold on to that is not only dragging me down, it's actively detrimental to the site. And I don't want to sit by and let that keep going on.
Now, this doesn't mean that I plan to leave the site behind entirely. I still have friends here, and I do stop by here and there to lurk or post around. It's just not enough to be able to call myself a mod. So I'll still be here! It'll just be as a regular user for the first time in... a little over three years now. And maybe, in the end, being able to come here without the responsibilities of being a moderator will give me a bit more enjoyment out of the site. I guess we'll just have to find out!
Anyway, thank you all for being here with me, no matter how long that may have been, and for putting up with me during my best and worst times. You're all important to me, and I sincerely hope that Ponychan can continue to move forward, and maybe even pick up speed, without me.
I suppose, if I had one request, it would be this:
If you're going to pick up another !!Pinkie, whether it be now or later on, please give it to somebody who can do it justice. The !!Pinkie tag had a pretty bad streak for a long while, and I worked hard to break the curse. I don't want to see it go up in smoke now that I'm giving it up.