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File: 1548806792620.png (341.56 KB, 540x555, 5435436567657.png)

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid:   42078204[Last 50 Posts]

So, I realize it seems as time goes on I just feel worse and worse, and life seems to only get darker... I..., I don't know what to do anymore. I am honestly considering stepping down. I want to do more for this place, but at this rate, I dunno what else I can do.

I just, I dunno anymore. I am fed up with life. Wish I could see atleast see a silver lining.

Fleur.De.La.Douleur 痛みの花Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078206

File: 1548806988852.png (436.26 KB, 1600x1592, FANMADE_Princess_Twilight_Spar…)

>>42078204
Dude, fuck em look out for yourself. No one else will. Isn't like anyone else has worked as hard as you have, let em do with this place what they will, like the rest of us you need to take care of yourself. There's a reason why so many of the old people left, this place is becoming toxic, not as bad as it was but it's getting there. I'll admit I did have a hand in contributing to it so I'm no one to talk. Still, stress is cumulative and as far as I can tell it's taking it's toll. TBH, there may well be no silver lining, your too damn nice here and while it's appreciated people are leeching off your good vibes like a psychic vampire. Just step away for a while.
This post was edited by its author on .

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078208

File: 1548807429585.jpg (231.56 KB, 1280x981, 328433.png)

You should slow down a little and try to enjoy the site. Give yourself a week. Don't do anything big or official, don't even log in to your admin tools. You have a good team so there isn't any need to do anything official or anything.

Take a little time to be selfish.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078212

File: 1548808630416.png (651.53 KB, 922x1080, 1532709553155.png)

>>42078204

This >>42078208
>You should slow down a little and try to enjoy the site.
Seriously. You put a lot on yourself about this place, when really, it runs fine, and the problems that it does have, are basically petty squabbles.

Just enjoy the site.

>I want to do more for this place, but at this rate, I dunno what else I can do.


There really isnt much to do. You have a hands-off philosophy, and honestly, things have always run pretty smooth with that.

The only time i ever really see a problem, is when you go against that philosophy to try to grease a squeaky wheel.

I know you are going through a hard time, but this place shouldn't be part of it, it should be the escape.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078213

File: 1548809167541.png (289.59 KB, 603x768, 434324324324.png)

>>42078206
i am not gonna leave anyone behind

>>42078208
>>42078212
it just my demons taking over and they wont stop controlling me

but i will try to calm down

i just dont know what to do anymore

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078214

File: 1548809276158.png (536.8 KB, 1024x1024, mfw anonthread.png)

>>42078213
It's okay to mess up. Do some things for Mikie. All the problems will still be here for however long it takes.

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078215

File: 1548809486043.png (1015.94 KB, 1920x2310, homura-1363672889044.png)

>>42078204
Remember that the people here do appreciate all the work that you've done for the site. Perhaps we don't say it enough, but know that you are appreciated and loved.

Fleur.De.La.Douleur 痛みの花Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078216

File: 1548809715440.png (285.72 KB, 486x704, 1545145078163.png)

>>42078213
If you have to, do it. Never put anyone above yourself save family. I can see how people here just leech off you man, it sucks to see it from my end, your better than this.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078217

File: 1548809868765.png (385.63 KB, 629x590, 154646888.PNG)

>>42078213
Normally I find the best thing to do when you dont know what to do, is nothing.

But yeah, you have to focus on yourself a bit and forget about what other people think. It seems you are letting a minority of complainers ruin your good time. Ignore the vocal minority.

It sounds stupid, but make a list of the things about your life that bother you, like on paper, and then just take one at a time, and come up with a plan to solve them.

Its not impossible to change your situation, it just takes work.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078218

File: 1548810684079.png (386.29 KB, 868x639, 45354365546876867.png)

>>42078214
yeah, i guess so

idk ill think about it

>>42078215
i know some do

this is partly why i dont give up

>>42078216
i gotta disagree with a lot of this

i dont think anyone is leeching off of anyone

>>42078217
it's just things dont feel right anymore

i just for once wanna feel happiness again

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078219

File: 1548810750766.png (300.71 KB, 726x592, twidash.png)

>>42078218
I stress. Not quitting. Not needing to worry about any big decisions.

Just... being a little selfish.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078220

File: 1548811545065.png (924.17 KB, 1329x1348, 1533002203912.png)

>>42078218
I don't mean to sound harsh, but dwelling on your situation and self-pity really just keep the cycle going.

If you keep telling yourself everything sucks, everything is going to suck.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078221

File: 1548811719129.png (496.73 KB, 717x694, 78768987009.png)

>>42078219
guess i might prolong my break from this place

>>42078220
but it feels like everything sucks right now

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078222

Please make sure you are eating properly. Malnutrition is a real danger even when you think you're eating healthy. I've been down that path and felt like shit for no other reason than I wasn't getting what I needed from what I was eating.

Take all the time you need and forget anything about this website until you wake up one morning feeling clear headed and healthy.

Take care of yourself. People here really think a lot of what you've done. I know I do.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078223

File: 1548812145864.png (953.23 KB, 5490x5810, 1532453314410.png)

>>42078221
Yeah, I know it feels that way, but its just your brain being an asshole.

You have control over it, you have just given it up, and let your brain do what brains do... think too much.

Like when you cant fall asleep because your brain wont stfu... only way out of control, and on a life scale. Which makes sense, because you've been idol and you keep altering your perception with drugs.

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078225

File: 1548812473149.png (554.98 KB, 1181x664, 1521609632517.png)

>>42078222
Seconding this, also trips confirm

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078227

File: 1548812694323.png (564.36 KB, 726x768, 98798768769.png)

>>42078222
well, i certainty dont eat much anymore

i cant keep any food down

i think i lost a lot of weight because of that

>>42078223
i drink mostly to shut up my shattered mind...

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078229

File: 1548813027538.png (239.55 KB, 538x501, 45634563456.PNG)

>>42078227
Thats just putting a band-aid on it.

You need to actually solve the problem.

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078230

>>42078227
>booze

Mikie, please stop drinking. You have already heard people here on this subject so I won't go over it again.

Go to the nearest dollar store and get a bottle of 81mg low dose aspirin and use it twice a day. Get soda crackers as well and nibble on them so you have something in your stomach when you take the aspirin. Eat them with 7Up or other non caffeinated cola to get the sugar your brain needs to shift back where it needs to be. That should give you a good starting point until the booze sweats out of your blood.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078232

File: 1548813472104.png (463.52 KB, 634x722, 98978998978.png)

>>42078229
>>42078230
its easier said than done to just quit drinking...

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078233

>>42078232
That's why we're here to support you.

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078234

>>42078232
True. But you can.

Add a can of orange juice concentrate the shopping list. The cheap generic market brand is good enough. Drink that.

Drinking isn't solving what you need to be healthy enough to face head on. It's working against you.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078235

File: 1548814205298.png (412.46 KB, 852x646, 98798797665.png)

>>42078233
>>42078234
now that i think about it

drinking has ruined my life

it has never helped me but some reason i cant stop drinking

my favorite year was the year 2006

it was the last year sober...

ever since then its been a downward spiral

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078236

File: 1548814404276.png (240.34 KB, 483x443, g765r4f57.PNG)

>>42078232
I know, i did it.

But at the end of the day, your problems are caused by you. What is worse? The few days of withdrawal, or the better part of a year you have spent getting more and more depressed?

You have to make that choice, and bettering yourself takes work, but hard work pays off.

You are using drugs to escape yourself, and your problems. You need to actually solve your problems, but you are in a viscous cycle that, because of your problems, you drink, and because you drink, your problems get worse.

At some point you need to stick a branch in that wheel, and deal with the crash, because when you get back up, you will be much better off.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078237

File: 1548814588981.png (190.23 KB, 433x404, 89999974512.PNG)

>>42078227
Without coming off like a self-help weirdo, consider this:
The Mind - Alan Watts

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078238

>>42078235
We are here, Mikie. You know that.

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078239

File: 1548814812488.jpg (149.47 KB, 800x700, 54653629_p11.jpg)

Maybe we can quit drinking together.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078240

File: 1548815048390.png (212.83 KB, 398x455, 767676765765876.png)

>>42078236
...i know you have

i have tried quit so many times ive lost track

every time i think its over my body craves alcohol and boom

relapse

>>42078237
ive seen that

pretty cool

>>42078238
i know, i just dont know what to do about myself is all

>>42078239
maybe

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078241

File: 1548815331017.jpg (404.1 KB, 840x980, __kana_anaberal_touhou_and_tou…)

>>42078240
I'm still unsure if I want to quit completely or limit myself to a glass with dinner.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078242

File: 1548815515397.png (256.15 KB, 394x534, 87898798090.png)

>>42078241
drinking is always fine in moderation

in fact it even has health benefits

but, thats sadly not what im doing lately

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078243

File: 1548815559688.png (630.89 KB, 1097x1078, Screenshot_2018-09-01-01-00-07…)

>>42078240
>i have tried quit so many times ive lost track

>every time i think its over my body craves alcohol and boom


>relapse

This is what i mean by it takes work. It takes work to just endure the craving until its gone.

This is also what i mean by your problems are caused by you. There is no outside force controlling you, demons arnt real, its all you, and its all under your control, you just need to take it.

This is the core of liberal philosophy, personal responsibility, and this is just a test of fortitude. The first thing to do is stop blaming something other than yourself, and realize you are responsible for the situation.

And do it kindly, dont be hard on yourself, you arnt a bad person, you just need to pull yourself together.

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078244

File: 1548815629732.png (381.78 KB, 680x720, __kana_anaberal_touhou_and_tou…)

>>42078242
I think that, at some point, I can go back to drinking in moderation. But I should probably have a period of complete abstinence leading up to starting HRT.

I'm probably going to have (oral) surgery in the next few weeks anyway, so drinking wouldn't be a good idea during the recovery period.

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078245

File: 1548815779797.jpg (336.07 KB, 500x600, 2009-12-27-227904.jpeg)

Anyway, Mk is right. Alcohol does not control you. You might feel that you've lost control over your behavior, but even with professional help, the one who ultimately has to take charge is yourself. People can support you, but no one can end your addiction for you. And you can, and you have to believe you can.

Country code: ponies-octavia.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078246

File: 1548815784899.jpg (10.94 KB, 225x225, images (1).jpeg)

This is why I like masturbation over alcohol. It feels good, it doesn't cost anything and there is no hangover.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078248

File: 1548816100087.png (546.03 KB, 800x768, 8977897809.png)

>>42078243
i do blame myself

its literally my fault for being a dumbass and drinking so much when i was younger

instead of going to school or something i wouldnt be in this rut

>>42078244
then you should avoid it altogether

>>42078245
well, after trying thousands of times to quit i begin to lose faith

>>42078246
it's nice, but sometimes just feels like a chore

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078249

I wish there were a way to get dev abilities without mod privileges because I'd be willing to learn the ins and outs of running the thing just so we have one more crew member even though I know I can't be trusted with rule enforcement. I'll die when this place does.

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078250

File: 1548816270395.jpg (58.14 KB, 381x381, 1444836880668.jpg)

>>42078246
Well it costs all the lipids and proteins stored in you if you're a male. Jizz is actually pretty expensive to make.

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078251

File: 1548816331796.jpg (147.67 KB, 700x990, __kana_anaberal_touhou_and_tou…)

>>42078246
It has an emotional cost if you feel weird about which set of genitals you have.

>>42078248
Don't lose faith. You do have the power to quit.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078252

File: 1548816458071.png (243.52 KB, 530x510, jh8.PNG)

>>42078248
>its literally my fault for being a dumbass and drinking so much when i was younger
No, its your fault for drinking so much NOW.

You cant blame the past, the past is over, its pointless to look back to it and place your burden on what doesn't exist.

All that exists is you, now. Its you, now that needs to be focused on, and needs to make the change. That way you dont look back on you, now, and continue to place the burden.

Its the 2nd best time to plant a tree dude.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078253

File: 1548816551490.png (304.75 KB, 524x528, 6565465487876987.png)

>>42078249
this place wont die

i will make sure of that

>>42078251
...do i really, though? every time i try it starts all over again

>>42078252
*sigh*

i know, you're right

its just after a while i get so fed up with the failure that i keep thinking: "why even bother?"

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078254

File: 1548816565113.png (1023.45 KB, 1280x720, pinkhugstarl.png)

You're awesome Mikie. You have come a long way!

Whatever happens, know that we all love you and stand with you, especially when you feel alone.

You have a hard road ahead.

Please whatever you do, just never, ever give up. You and your future are worth whatever you must endure now.

Please take care!

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078255

File: 1548816597151.jpg (143.34 KB, 460x650, __kana_anaberal_touhou_and_tou…)

>>42078252
Technically it's the first best time, since the old first best time doesn't exist anymore.

-Z-Country code: ponies-luna.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078256

File: 1548816629093.png (139.6 KB, 451x393, 52.png)

>>42078246
It is shared by experts that masturbation can help subjects sleep, feel less depressed, and even make oneself feel better about themselves and of their world around them.

It essentially releases feel-good neuro-chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin that lift your spirits, boost your satisfaction, and activate the reward circuits in your brain... so you're actually tricking yourself into feeling happier.

explains why I'm always sad and fucked up

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078257

>>42078256
I use it to combat insomnia.

It's not tricking yourself to feel happy when it's genuine biological happiness you are feeling naturally, Z. Now stop that.

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078258

File: 1548816921818.png (691.96 KB, 1113x1080, Screenshot_2018-08-05-23-17-41…)

>>42078253
There is no pass or fail in a situation like this.

You don't ever succeed in this, triumph, win the game and the credits roll and its over... you maintain it.

You're not giving up because you failed.

You're failing because you give up.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078259

File: 1548817418679.png (618.33 KB, 893x768, 098976978090.png)

>>42078254
im trying not to give up

>>42078258
i didnt give up

i just dont know how to deal with this

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078260

File: 1548819167951.png (609.77 KB, 864x1021, Screenshot_2018-08-05-23-05-44…)

>>42078259
You just do. You deal with it as it comes. You endure it until you acclimate.

Cravings always subside. Always. Your mind and your body are much stronger than you give credit for. But you have to get to the other side.

Eating healthy is a big help.

And also, you really need to stop making being an alcoholic a part of who you are. You need to stop presenting it as part of your personality.

Its not who you are, its just what you are cosplaying as atm. Who you are is much deeper.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078262

File: 1548819980100.png (404.07 KB, 641x619, 8976867990.png)

>>42078260
i sometimes dont know who i am

this lifestyle is really all i know how to do

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078265

File: 1548820435959.png (212.5 KB, 435x428, 454454.PNG)

>>42078262
Who you are is your choice. You always refer to yourself as an alcoholic, you talk about how you buy cheap 4 locos just to get drunk as if its a badge of honor.

Stop that.

Stop convincing yourself that you are an alcoholic, because doing that will make it infinitely harder to overcome it.

Put it in your mind that you arnt arnt an alcoholic. Decide not to be an alcoholic, because you are not.

Next time you want to go buy some shitty beer just to get drunk, instead of "Im doing this because im an alcoholic" think "why am i doing this? Im not an alcoholic".

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078266

File: 1548820613876.png (134.32 KB, 307x325, 76765876876.png)

>>42078265
well, im not drinking tonight

so i guess thats a start, right?

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078267

File: 1548821095256.png (118.86 KB, 307x316, 88897454.PNG)

>>42078266
Yup.

And if you do that tomorrow, it will be twice as long, and after 3 days, you will be getting use to it, on the other side of the hill, and things will get easier every day.

You know what to do, how to do it, and you have the capability. So just go for it. I mean, you already started, and your off to a good one.

I know you can do it, trust me on this.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078268

File: 1548821587224.png (228.57 KB, 305x696, 7688987098.png)

>>42078267
guess ill try my best

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078273

File: 1548821961292.png (185.4 KB, 477x480, 654654645.PNG)

>>42078268
The cool thing is, you dont even have to try, you already stopped drinking.

You are no longer an alcoholic, congrats.

Now just maintain that. You're not alone, we are all maintaining.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078277

File: 1548822183053.png (474.73 KB, 710x739, 76576587689.png)

>>42078273
yeah, i guess so

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078278

File: 1548822302587.png (408.04 KB, 450x600, 9C692428-F64B-4844-AADE-8FF06E…)

>>42078277
Rome wasn’t built in a day, btw.

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078279

File: 1548822492461.png (198.27 KB, 323x424, 5465132.PNG)

>>42078277
Good night mikie.

Welcome to the sober life.

It gets better every day.

Fleur.De.La.Douleur 痛みの花Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078281

File: 1548822941270.jpg (59.79 KB, 800x600, 1523096183177419615.jpg)

>>42078218
I'd say otherwise, but then again this is me I'm not fond of people in general.
>>42078232
Yeah, i'm not as bad as you but i'm cutting back. Try weed....
>>42078235
Oh fuck dude do something now!

Starshine!Laura/wmXMCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078295

File: 1548826451509.png (1.13 MB, 700x980, 1546831882526.png)

>>42078260
>Cravings always subside. Always.
It's true. I go days without even thinking about nicotine now. I've got gum at arm's reach, but I don't need it.

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078431

File: 1548891272311.png (210.27 KB, 580x479, 8668698.PNG)

Almost through with day 2!

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078432

File: 1548892228552.png (368.25 KB, 858x768, 878678677657.png)

>>42078431
just sucks that i havent slept a single minute

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078433

File: 1548892569219.jpg (41.73 KB, 400x600, sayaka-1382738282g.jpg)

>>42078432
:-(
Do you have this insomnia often?

How are you feeling otherwise?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078435

File: 1548892818046.png (375.81 KB, 787x693, 8987987566.png)

>>42078433
i actually started drinking earlier

i found leftover beer

so, it looks like i have to start over tomorrow

im honestly really pist at myself...

>Do you have this insomnia often?

yeah, i get it frequently

that and i get night sweats which make it worse

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078436

>>42078435
>i actually started drinking earlier
>i found leftover beer
How much did you drink?

I've heard that alcohol can interfere with sleep. Maybe that;s it?

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>>42078436
i was stone cold sober last night

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078439

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>>42078439
that's okay, though

that doesn't mean its over

now that im out of everything i cant pull beers out of the fridge

Hubert!Zn.OKn9A2oCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078475

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>>42078435
Don't let it get to you that you took the drink. Especially if you're doing it all the time, you'll probably need to ween yourself off instead of stopping all together.

If you need to talk, you can add me on Steam, and I'll listen, because I know how hard it is when it seems like there are a lot of people that won't. But that's only if you want to.

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078513

File: 1548909607694.png (347.38 KB, 778x656, 232145454.PNG)

>>42078440
Not the end of the world. Its hard if they are right there.

Try not to replenish the supply. You want a better life, this is what needs to be done.

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>>42078475
thanks

gonna try to find my steam log in so i can add you

>>42078513
i cant replenish anything anyway

Mint horseCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078521

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>>42078204
You should consider taking moth long break, and then seeing if you feel any once the break is up.

As I've said if this place is affecting your mental health, then you should just take a break. Your mental health should come before this site.
This post was edited by its author on .

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>>42078514
Fair enough. Just keep in mind that the "right" moment never comes, so you ether do it or you dont.

Mein!/Yui/vFl7ICountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 42078543

Man, I don't know what to say really cuz for me I need to have some big realization to get my shit in order. Like something that just makes me sit back and really reflect so that I get incredibly depressed/angry and determined to get my shit together. Had it happen to me recently and it made me start working out again. Now if I start to feel like shit I make sure to go get a little exercise and work it all out of my system. I've been feeling fantastic.

Fleur.De.La.Douleur 痛みの花Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078548

File: 1548970422153.gif (140.89 KB, 426x600, FewSandyGorilla-small.gif)

Today is the one week mark since I decided enough was enough and I purged the degenerate porn. I just came home from one of my classes and made a vow that I would no longer allow alcohol to control me, I poured what vodka I had outside as a libation to the gods, vowing that even though I may stumble from time to time, no more will I allow a substance to control me as such. I'll still brew mead and maybe someday ale, but the former is much more for religious purposes.

Baby steps, if I can do it so can you.

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File: 1548985837190.png (261.88 KB, 378x630, 43432456548.png)

>>42078543
glad you're doing well

>>42078548
good job, man

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also no

i am not drinking tonight

i am actually in the mood for some fried chicken

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078634

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>>42078548
>I poured what vodka I had outside
>though I may stumble from time to time, no more will I allow a substance to control me as such.
Glad to hear it, it will go a long way to getting your head straight.

>>42078612
Awesome dude, hope you get chikun.

also, now i want chikun too.

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>>42078634
sadly no chicken

i wish i could get some chicken

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File: 1548989615653.png (375.81 KB, 787x693, 8987987566.png)

i think im gonna set a goal

im gonna try to make it through an entire week

if i can do that

thats a serious milestone

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078646

File: 1548991200167.jpg (290.87 KB, 1536x1536, 1924556__safe_artist-colon-pon…)

>>42078640
You can do it

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>>42078646
i appreciate that!

im gonna really try

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078648

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>>42078639
NO CHICKEN!

What about waffles? At least you would be half way there!

>>42078640
>>42078647
I think you can, just don't over think it.

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>>42078648
yeah, wishing i had some chicken

im good without the waffles at least

>I think you can, just don't over think it.

i know sadly there is going to be cravings in the near future

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078666

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>>42078649
The cravings will pass though.

Normally about a half hour. I say go for a walk or something when you get them.
Just... not to the liquor store

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>>42078666
honestly tomorrow should be easy

because im gonna try to figure out how to get chicken lol

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078685

File: 1548994361793.png (454.06 KB, 669x660, 456546511.PNG)

>>42078677
Scheming for chicken should keep your mind off it.

Then, you might also get chicken.

Its the perfect plan!
This post was edited by its author on .

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File: 1548994604679.png (571.3 KB, 906x768, 56546546546839904442227.png)

>>42078685
fuuuuuuck

there are so many places we could have gone to when we hung out and they flew out of my mind

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078693

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>>42078686
Our mission was wings though.

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>>42078693
yeah, and sadly that didnt go right!

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078707

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>>42078693
>wings

>>42078686
>flew

I see what happened there.

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>>42078694
Its about the journey not the destination maaaaaan.

>>42078707
Ha

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>>42078710
next time, i guess.

EquestriaGuy!1DerpyVA.6Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078715

is there any consideration of shutting the site down after the pony finale? The place has kinda fulfilled its purpose once G4 dies. Plus, if you and !!Sweetie Bot are wanting to step away, maybe that's a sign.

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>>42078715
i mean, so long as users keep using the site i dont see a reason to shut the place down

but if the place completely loses its users than i think at that point

we can declare it's served its purpose

ponychan has became more than just the show

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078722

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>>42078715
Zeke just said he is taking a break, and mikie is just going through a hard time irl, i dont think ether of them are stepping down from anything.

What is the purpose of the site exactly? Seems to me that its to give people a place to chill out and shoot the breeze, maybe make some friends. Which in a way is more like the show than the last few seasons of the show.

You can always leave if you think this place serves no purpose after the catoon is over.
This post was edited by its author on .

!SATSUkIQg2Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078745

>>42078719
I want to delay the apocalypse.

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File: 1549067422398.png (389.55 KB, 836x696, 767657657.png)

guys, ponychan isnt going anywhere

not anytime soon at least

even if i did choose to step down i wouldnt let the site go on its own

i would hand over the keys to someone else

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponies-twilight.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078757

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078758

File: 1549071190194.png (372.19 KB, 1281x1281, 1866842__safe_artist-colon-dyo…)

Is something happening

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File: 1549072217910.png (418.58 KB, 575x710, 65654765876.png)

>>42078758
not that i am aware of

!SATSUkIQg2Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078760

File: 1549072999369.gif (Spoiler Image, 155.17 KB, 200x200, om_nom_by_cratedcheese-dbp3v91…)

I got an Error 522 and then 521 when trying to access this site between 12:00 and 1:30 AM. I have reason to be skeeved about this kind of thing happening. I pop in here all hours of the day, yet I seldom see any such "regular resets" occurring.
This post was edited by its author on .

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponies-twilight.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078763

>>42078760
I got this too, in the middle of the day, but thought nothing of it.
This post was edited by its author on .

Chewy!!Twilight SparkleCountry code: ponies-twilight.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078766

>>42078763
>>42078760
pretty sure it was for the purpose of fixing an issue with reporting

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File: 1549073729122.png (231.86 KB, 477x442, 8768679898.png)

>>42078760
zeke was doing server work so we could fix the issues with the report system

i promise there is no grand conspiracy going on...

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078768

File: 1549073766438.jpg (49.51 KB, 648x554, 1931127__safe_artist-colon-91o…)

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File: 1549074286458.gif (1.17 MB, 1233x826, 1950778__safe_artist-colon-ker…)

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078784

File: 1549074352443.jpg (71.15 KB, 1008x812, 1929447__safe_artist-colon-mag…)

!SATSUkIQg2Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078787

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Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponies-twilight.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078788

>>42078787
What is this meme?

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!SATSUkIQg2Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078793

File: 1549075692324.jpg (211.12 KB, 746x562, 6db6vd0fcdx11.jpg)

>>42078788
Just an mspaint shitpost I got off r/bioniclememes.

Palomontio Ñu !ArepaaIqL.Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078805

>>42078789

You sober?

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Palomontio Ñu !ArepaaIqL.Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42078814

>>42078813

what about the Delirium tremens ?

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>>42078814
i still get them

but if im awake i should be fine

just cant sleep is all

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078819

File: 1549080262281.jpg (4.75 MB, 3120x4160, 20190201_195833.jpg)

Hey check it out Mikie, i got a book from 1883 last week

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078820

File: 1549080398124.jpg (3.21 MB, 3120x4160, 20190201_195923.jpg)

>>42078819
Thought it was some kinda lawyer book, was from some stuff clearly from a law office. String binding nice n pliable, amazing condition for 130 years old

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078821

File: 1549080484828.jpg (4.09 MB, 3120x4160, 20190201_195753.jpg)

>>42078820
Turns out its about the Temperance movement, has this illustration in it

Fun!

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078823

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>>42078821
Stay strong Mikie!

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>>42078820
thats really cool!

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42078842

>>42078825
Thanks!

They offered me $20 to help them load stuff in their truck for the dump as they only had like 10 minutes n said take anything i want. That book was on its way to the dump. I loaded em up superfast, they were happy and i got $20 and the book.

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File: 1549252886627.png (536.47 KB, 902x768, 4543543657657.png)

since i drank yesterday night

i am not tonight

so i guess thats one night down

...here we go again.

Hubert!Zn.OKn9A2oCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079090

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>>42079089
Don't beat yourself up, lad. You literally can't stop overnight. It'd probably be better to make goals, like agreeing with yourself to drink 3/4's or half as much as you regularly do for a week, and then less than that the week after, and so on. Not only do you have something to work at and be proud of yourself, but you can more easily deal with the psychological and physical effects.

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>>42079090
i just get so frustrated with myself

i feel like i am not making any progress at all

a lost pony !piNKiEPie.Country code: ponies-derpy.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079094

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>>42079092
If you drink and try again the next day, without giving up cuz you failed, then that's progress.

Good work, keep it up.

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079095

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>>42079089
>>42079092
I live by this rule: never get drunk two nights in a row.
Sometimes it might happen, but I still keep to that rule. Not to give up on it, just because it happened once or twice. Because the important thing isn't the times where I couldn't stick with it, but all the other times.
You'll get there too, I believe in you.

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>>42079094
i just hope i can sleep tonight...

i know im gonna be getting the night sweats like crazy

>>42079095
that would make sense actually

im gonna go into headstrong

thank you

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079097

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>>42079096
Pillows make good things to punish if you need to let off steam. Its just for a little bit man.

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>>42079097
my muscles feel really weird at the moment

i just wish there was an answer to the night sweats

so i can sleep good

i just wish i knew how it long it will take until i feel normal again

!SATSUkIQg2Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079100

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>>42079097
I just break pencils.

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>>42079098
I would guess the worst of it will be over by tomorrow night. The only way is through though.

Typing through and though makes you feel like your for sure typing something wrong haha.

But its def not forever, or anywhere close.

>>42079100
Thats a good idea too. So satisfying.

They both work good. Now i wish i had a pencil haha.

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>>42079102
i really hope you're right

and i hope i can start thinking rationally again

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>>42079104
You've seemed clearer lately.

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>>42079105
i may seem it from the outside

but mentally i sure as hell am not

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>>42079106
You are typing clearer though, and thats a start.

Idk i think the time away has helped you, and its been stressful because we are all freaking out a little lately haha.

But you are doing great, and i know you can make it.
This post was edited by its author on .

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079108

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>>42079107
if i can just start thinking rationally and stop thinking random people are conspiring against me, then i should be good

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>>42079108
You're doing fine. Dont overthink thinking haha. Its a bad feedback cycle.

Try to clear you mind.

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>>42079110
how does one clear his mind?

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>>42079111
Sorry, i fell asleep.

Mostly you focus on thinking about nothing.

!XSAILBoatgCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079172

File: 1549298543374.jpg (6.46 KB, 198x255, rock.jpg)

I'm jealous of those of you who have this alcohol issue.
My problem is lack of alcohol.

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>>42079169
shit happens, man

and i guess that's worth a try

>>42079172
it's no fun tbh

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079427

File: 1549587959195.png (613.18 KB, 894x750, 76576577657658.png)

i just wanna say thank you guys for the support you have

i really want to take this time to say i appreciate you all very much

even the ones i have had beef with

i have been living in a mental prison and it's pure fucking hell

i feel something bad is gonna happen to me soon so i just wanna say how i appreciate you guys

UrdaCountry code: ponies-celestia.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079432

File: 1549588840919.jpg (4.52 KB, 225x225, download.jpg)

>>42078204
Can I post Starlight Glimmer if you bounce?

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079433

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>>42079427
What do you mean?

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File: 1549589061647.png (177.58 KB, 544x475, 1257352.png)

>>42079432
nah, ill just make sure to permaban you if i do leave

>>42079433
i just always feel like something ban is gonna happen to me

always running in my mind 24/7

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079435

File: 1549589311173.png (529.13 KB, 987x945, Screenshot_2018-09-01-01-15-23…)

>>42079434
>nah, ill just make sure to permaban you if i do leave
LMAO!!

Also, i know you are in a mental prison right now, iv been in the same one man. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can effect real change for yourself, and honestly, you seem to be getting close. I mean, you know the causes of your problems, you need to make the decision to change, and fallow through.

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>>42079435
if this isnt rock bottom i dont know what else in store

i am losing my shit

seriously

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079437

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>>42079436
You have a problem that needs solving, and you have all the information you need.

You are staring at a puzzle, you have all the pieces you need to bring about the solution, but you have to put them in the right order.

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>>42079437
if my mind would shut up it would be so much easier to piece it together

but it keeps running and it stops me dead in my tracks

it's trying to run but having a rope tying you so you can move

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>>42079438
Or that dream where you are trying as hard as you can to run, but you feel like you are running through molasses.

You know the alcohol is a big problem, you know its part of the thing that keeping your mind rolling. Maybe not so much the drug itself, but your thinking about it and knowing in your mind that its a problem that needs to be solved.
Its making your head all messed up, so your life is of order, and because of that, when you do score a job interview, you are going in scatter brained.

You need to decide what is worse, the week or so of feeling shitty because of withdrawal, or the months behind you and the life in front of you feeling the way you do now.

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>>42079439
im sober right now and my mind is going crazy

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>>42079440
Yeah, thats going to happen.

It going to happen for a while. While your sober its time to start thinking of whats going wrong with your life, but more importantly how to fix it.

What steps to you need to take? Whats the easiest bit to tackle?

Lasso your thoughts and get them under control, if your brain is going to think non stop, at least put that to productive use.

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079442

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>>42079440
what usually helps me is to put on some chaotic music
keeps my mind occupied on something else
ymmv tho

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>>42079441
ive been trying to do productive stuff but then my mind just takes over...

>>42079442
i guess i could try some music

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079444

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>>42079443
I think I'll do that too actually

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>>42079443
Well, what are you thinking about?

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>>42079444
enjoy

>>42079445
all kinds of things

just nothing but negative shit

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079447

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>>42079446
But what? Can you give some examples?

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>>42079447
just like that bad stuff is gonna happen to me...

like people are out to get me

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>>42079448
Just that? How about your situation? do you think about that?

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>>42079449
i think about my past, preset, etc

and then i get panic attacks (which i have one now) and i feel like im being watched

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>>42079450
Forget the past, focus on the now.

Whats causing your problems now? Aside from the paranoia, what is the root of your depression? What do you want to fix?

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>>42079451
i dont know what the root issue is at this point

i could go back a couple of months ago and i would be mentally fine

then i just kept thinking about things and it just snowballed into this

just getting worse and worse and worse and worse

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>>42079452
What happened in those couple of months?

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>>42079453
nothing really out of the ordinary

just started thinking a lot more about things

i think its prolly because i am couped up in my room every singe day

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>>42079454
>i think its prolly because i am couped up in my room every singe day
Well, there ya go. There is a root cause.

What can you do about that? What are your options?
This post was edited by its author on .

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>>42079455
just gotta be productive

thats all i can do

but sadly every time i try, my minds starts running again

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>>42079456
Well, what have you been trying to do to be productive?

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>>42079458
looking for work

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>>42079464
Have you considered doing volunteer work? Maybe volunteer at an animal shelter in your area or something.

You would be productive, you would get out of the house, and you would have recent experience to put on a resume.

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>>42079465
i need the money, man

but i see what you're saying

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>>42079466
Well, whether you sit at home, or go out and volunteer, your making the same amount of money, and you are progressing in the job hunt at the same rate.

So at least if you went out and did something, you could have something to focus on besides your own thoughts bouncing around inside your skull.

Plus, like i said, having that on your resume is 100x better than having a big gap in your work history.

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>>42079467
i guess ill see what i can do then

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>>42079468
It's what i would do.

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>>42079470
yeah, i guess so

guess i gotta figure it out

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>>42079472
I think it would be a pretty positive thing.

I need to go to bed though. G'nite man.

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079474

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can handle it
Feel free to hand it over whenever

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Chewy!!Twilight SparkleCountry code: ponies-twilight.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079541

You can do this Mikie. Millions of people have survived the withdrawal phase of quitting alcohol. As others have said, if you can just get through that, things will be so much better going forward.

The paranoia/anxieties you have are irrational. Nothing bad is going to happen to you so long as you don't go do something crazy.

Mk17's idea of volunteer work is good, I think.


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