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File: 1548806792620.png (341.56 KB, 540x555, 5435436567657.png)

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid:   42078204[View All]

So, I realize it seems as time goes on I just feel worse and worse, and life seems to only get darker... I..., I don't know what to do anymore. I am honestly considering stepping down. I want to do more for this place, but at this rate, I dunno what else I can do.

I just, I dunno anymore. I am fed up with life. Wish I could see atleast see a silver lining.
129 posts and 110 image replies omitted. Click View to see all.

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079102

File: 1549255241573.png (151.78 KB, 349x423, 98754312312.PNG)

>>42079098
I would guess the worst of it will be over by tomorrow night. The only way is through though.

Typing through and though makes you feel like your for sure typing something wrong haha.

But its def not forever, or anywhere close.

>>42079100
Thats a good idea too. So satisfying.

They both work good. Now i wish i had a pencil haha.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079104

File: 1549255383373.png (301.92 KB, 492x509, 43254543654765.png)

>>42079102
i really hope you're right

and i hope i can start thinking rationally again

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079105

File: 1549256024977.png (252.57 KB, 430x482, 762762.PNG)

>>42079104
You've seemed clearer lately.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079106

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>>42079105
i may seem it from the outside

but mentally i sure as hell am not

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079107

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>>42079106
You are typing clearer though, and thats a start.

Idk i think the time away has helped you, and its been stressful because we are all freaking out a little lately haha.

But you are doing great, and i know you can make it.
This post was edited by its author on .

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079108

File: 1549256996917.png (525.38 KB, 663x768, 09787657657.png)

>>42079107
if i can just start thinking rationally and stop thinking random people are conspiring against me, then i should be good

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079110

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>>42079108
You're doing fine. Dont overthink thinking haha. Its a bad feedback cycle.

Try to clear you mind.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079111

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>>42079110
how does one clear his mind?

Mk17 (p-hone)Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079169

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>>42079111
Sorry, i fell asleep.

Mostly you focus on thinking about nothing.

!XSAILBoatgCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079172

File: 1549298543374.jpg (6.46 KB, 198x255, rock.jpg)

I'm jealous of those of you who have this alcohol issue.
My problem is lack of alcohol.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079182

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>>42079169
shit happens, man

and i guess that's worth a try

>>42079172
it's no fun tbh

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079427

File: 1549587959195.png (613.18 KB, 894x750, 76576577657658.png)

i just wanna say thank you guys for the support you have

i really want to take this time to say i appreciate you all very much

even the ones i have had beef with

i have been living in a mental prison and it's pure fucking hell

i feel something bad is gonna happen to me soon so i just wanna say how i appreciate you guys

UrdaCountry code: ponies-celestia.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079432

File: 1549588840919.jpg (4.52 KB, 225x225, download.jpg)

>>42078204
Can I post Starlight Glimmer if you bounce?

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079433

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>>42079427
What do you mean?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079434

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>>42079432
nah, ill just make sure to permaban you if i do leave

>>42079433
i just always feel like something ban is gonna happen to me

always running in my mind 24/7

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079435

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>>42079434
>nah, ill just make sure to permaban you if i do leave
LMAO!!

Also, i know you are in a mental prison right now, iv been in the same one man. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can effect real change for yourself, and honestly, you seem to be getting close. I mean, you know the causes of your problems, you need to make the decision to change, and fallow through.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079436

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>>42079435
if this isnt rock bottom i dont know what else in store

i am losing my shit

seriously

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079437

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>>42079436
You have a problem that needs solving, and you have all the information you need.

You are staring at a puzzle, you have all the pieces you need to bring about the solution, but you have to put them in the right order.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079438

File: 1549589810397.png (251.93 KB, 442x478, 87687876989.png)

>>42079437
if my mind would shut up it would be so much easier to piece it together

but it keeps running and it stops me dead in my tracks

it's trying to run but having a rope tying you so you can move

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079439

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>>42079438
Or that dream where you are trying as hard as you can to run, but you feel like you are running through molasses.

You know the alcohol is a big problem, you know its part of the thing that keeping your mind rolling. Maybe not so much the drug itself, but your thinking about it and knowing in your mind that its a problem that needs to be solved.
Its making your head all messed up, so your life is of order, and because of that, when you do score a job interview, you are going in scatter brained.

You need to decide what is worse, the week or so of feeling shitty because of withdrawal, or the months behind you and the life in front of you feeling the way you do now.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079440

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>>42079439
im sober right now and my mind is going crazy

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079441

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>>42079440
Yeah, thats going to happen.

It going to happen for a while. While your sober its time to start thinking of whats going wrong with your life, but more importantly how to fix it.

What steps to you need to take? Whats the easiest bit to tackle?

Lasso your thoughts and get them under control, if your brain is going to think non stop, at least put that to productive use.

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079442

File: 1549590938487.png (290.37 KB, 1024x700, 1455210__safe_artist-colon-lit…)

>>42079440
what usually helps me is to put on some chaotic music
keeps my mind occupied on something else
ymmv tho

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079443

File: 1549591072228.png (306.9 KB, 663x627, 876989879789.png)

>>42079441
ive been trying to do productive stuff but then my mind just takes over...

>>42079442
i guess i could try some music

Pinkamina WBIY!Im9SILLYXoCountry code: ponies-pinkie.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079444

File: 1549591400173.png (203.79 KB, 949x1435, 1404517__safe_artist-colon-its…)

>>42079443
I think I'll do that too actually

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079445

File: 1549591555002.png (639.15 KB, 785x974, Screenshot_2018-08-06-19-12-34…)

>>42079443
Well, what are you thinking about?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079446

File: 1549591606931.png (226.37 KB, 394x468, 43543547687.png)

>>42079444
enjoy

>>42079445
all kinds of things

just nothing but negative shit

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079447

File: 1549591682354.png (581.65 KB, 1047x921, 1532462857522.png)

>>42079446
But what? Can you give some examples?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079448

File: 1549592033328.png (470.75 KB, 595x677, 7667658987.png)

>>42079447
just like that bad stuff is gonna happen to me...

like people are out to get me

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079449

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>>42079448
Just that? How about your situation? do you think about that?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079450

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>>42079449
i think about my past, preset, etc

and then i get panic attacks (which i have one now) and i feel like im being watched

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079451

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>>42079450
Forget the past, focus on the now.

Whats causing your problems now? Aside from the paranoia, what is the root of your depression? What do you want to fix?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079452

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>>42079451
i dont know what the root issue is at this point

i could go back a couple of months ago and i would be mentally fine

then i just kept thinking about things and it just snowballed into this

just getting worse and worse and worse and worse

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079453

File: 1549593352845.png (163.33 KB, 355x386, 777896.PNG)

>>42079452
What happened in those couple of months?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079454

File: 1549593442141.png (125.88 KB, 273x473, 9898987944.png)

>>42079453
nothing really out of the ordinary

just started thinking a lot more about things

i think its prolly because i am couped up in my room every singe day

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079455

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>>42079454
>i think its prolly because i am couped up in my room every singe day
Well, there ya go. There is a root cause.

What can you do about that? What are your options?
This post was edited by its author on .

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079456

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>>42079455
just gotta be productive

thats all i can do

but sadly every time i try, my minds starts running again

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079458

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>>42079456
Well, what have you been trying to do to be productive?

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079464

File: 1549594292050.png (106.7 KB, 236x343, 87686798657.png)

>>42079458
looking for work

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079465

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>>42079464
Have you considered doing volunteer work? Maybe volunteer at an animal shelter in your area or something.

You would be productive, you would get out of the house, and you would have recent experience to put on a resume.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079466

File: 1549594604360.png (357 KB, 499x735, 9879879780.png)

>>42079465
i need the money, man

but i see what you're saying

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079467

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>>42079466
Well, whether you sit at home, or go out and volunteer, your making the same amount of money, and you are progressing in the job hunt at the same rate.

So at least if you went out and did something, you could have something to focus on besides your own thoughts bouncing around inside your skull.

Plus, like i said, having that on your resume is 100x better than having a big gap in your work history.

Country code: ponies-glimglam.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079468

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>>42079467
i guess ill see what i can do then

Mk17Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079470

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>>42079468
It's what i would do.

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>>42079470
yeah, i guess so

guess i gotta figure it out

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>>42079472
I think it would be a pretty positive thing.

I need to go to bed though. G'nite man.

AnonymousCountry code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42079474

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can handle it
Feel free to hand it over whenever

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Chewy!!Twilight SparkleCountry code: ponies-twilight.png, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1  42079541

You can do this Mikie. Millions of people have survived the withdrawal phase of quitting alcohol. As others have said, if you can just get through that, things will be so much better going forward.

The paranoia/anxieties you have are irrational. Nothing bad is going to happen to you so long as you don't go do something crazy.

Mk17's idea of volunteer work is good, I think.

Country code: blank.gif, country type: ponyflag, valid: 1 42087293

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