It stopped fucking raining, reeeee, now it's just like...grey and dismal.>>42063108>I... probably didn't help with that. I'm really sorry
No no, you were just...too much drama and...I'm not even equipped at this point to even attempt to fix the damage I've done to you. Also trying to help you get on-track for a healthy and happy life is...tough when I can't do that for myself.>This is something you've gotta work through, and if there's any way anyone here can help I'm sure they will
"Hey guys, basic social interaction provokes a fear response that's almost entirely based on my past abuse and bullying, plz help" seems like a goofy ass thing to ask for help for, to be perfectly honest with you. Especially someone like me with trust issues, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I'm open to...being more open? That really sounds like some New Age BS right there but I mean it earnestly so...yeahhhh.>>42063116
A lot of it is that I bring in a lot of my past trauma around people into literally every single social encounter.
Like, I equate here to a lot of my experiences in middle school. I was ostensibly liked, the teachers and staff liked me, I made people laugh in class, but then when it came time for recess it was like all the kids took off their sheep disguises and I was surrounded by wolves. I dunno, I just still see myself as that autistic, stupid, oblivious, awkward, fat and girly little kid who just...gets bullied and abused because that's all I'll ever be worth.
It's completely irrational and that in turn bothers me more, because I just feel
less sane for feeling so anxious and then it all just cascades into me thinking I'm insane for being so anxious and stuff.>>42063123
Innorite? Like, what kinda nerd uses the Internet to-oh wait...