Well now I blew the whole day embroidering only eight shirts because that second machine STILL ISN'T FIXED. God it is so monotonous having nothing to do for ten minutes while the applique is being done, but being unable to run off and do anything else or multitask, because you have to watch the threading attentively so the letters don't get stitched wrong. You're in a pissy mental place all day, and when it's done, you have nothing to show for it, because your productivity was halved by only having one machine.
Not to mention I'm still falling further and further behind in that class, my sick partner slammed on me for it, and I retorted and made a cunt of myself again.
What a fucking world this is. One minute, you're at the movie theater two nights in a row, the next, your whole world's collapsing because you lost vigilance for an instant.
See, this is why I never do anything fun. They always tell me "Ohhh, Jigs, you're so young, go out and get some sunshine! While you're still young, socialize! You're in your prime and you should be enjoying it!" Naw, fuck that noise. This is why I never go out. Not cause I'm remotely introverted, not because no one likes me, not because I don't like any of them. I don't have the energy to socialize AND hold up my shit at once. I had no "prime." I'm 21 years old, I have the body of an Auschwitz inmate, my brain is eating itself, I can't remember a day where I wasn't fatigued, and I WILL die in my forties. This is all I have. This is all it will ever be. School, home, school, home, school, home, school, home, no time to walk outside the lines. God forbid I disrupt my rhythm, I'm dead. I must never forget that, never again.
This is exactly why I'm so angsty all the time.>>42034507>sleep study
Oh, and not to mention that sleep consultation I was supposed to have months back, where the office was locked and empty when I arrived and they apparently cucked me out of an appointment I had a referral for without notifying me at all. Shit sucks.