I swore I would never come back here. I fucking vowed that I would never open this fucking page again. I would rather be murdered than come back here. But I don't have a choice. All other avenues have gone quiet. All I get is silence. And I won't leave myself to my thoughts. That would only guarantee me losing my fucking mind. At least from hearing other viewpoints, even from this place, it might soothe what ails me.
A few days ago, I posted an ad asking for a girl who would let me suck on her breasts. Just for shits and giggles to see what would happen. Maybe I might get lucky? Well, I got a shit-ton of junk, but I expected as much. But then I got a message that when I read it, it confused me, but after re-reading it, I understood. It was not from a woman, but from a man. A man who was visiting my city on business. He claimed he was obsessed with large breasts like myself. We got to talking and it turned out he was only go to be for two days and then leave. He said he already had a large breasted girl on her way to his hotel room. He had his time with her and then he talked some more with me. He was surprised that I was going to turn 29 in a week and I had yet to see another human being naked in real life. He was more surprised when I sent him my picture and he said I shouldn't have any issues getting what I want. He wanted to call me so we could talk, but I told him I had work. He said he was simply going to tell me his experiences and try to help me out. But then he said he would see me later and he hoped I would succeed. And that was it. He went silent.
All of this just made me realize that I am almost 30 and I have failed in this aspect. Not even sex as that I don't even feel like going towards any longer. Simply having fun with the opposite sex. I cannot make it there and time is slipping away from me. I am in my prime, but I won't be for very much longer. Soon, the years will begin to weigh me down and I will falter. How did I come to this? How did I fucking fail so spectacularly? I typically don't like to think about it so these thoughts usually never come into my mind. But all this with the gentleman and my upcoming birthday made me realize I fucked up. I completely have screwed the pooch here. This guy, who had never been to my city, spent two days here and already succeeded where I have failed for the last decade. And no, I don't want this because of how others will see me. I could care less of how people view me. I want this b