First of all: I wish your statement of purpose had been more detailed and/or useful. You might not want to air all your mysteries to your readers, but since I’m trying to give you some kind of intelligent feedback on your story, it wouldn’t hurt you to crack open the darkroom a little and let me see what’s going on in your head.
Now then. On a first reading, I tried to follow the events of the story--working on the assumption that the story actually had events--and found I was completely unable to.
On a second reading, I think I can discern a character called Darling in the opening and the concept that she’s in bed with him. The theme of sex is conveyed by phrases like “soft rousings powdowned her neithers”, “Loveylosey, have a floozy”, “beside” (bedside), and “Clitted and cracked, she rode the bedozing gray and brown cuddlumpus down” which incidentally gave a clue to the identity of “Darling”.
I took a few years of Latin but I have no clue what “Tenumbria” could be referencing. I could only think of the word penumbra.
Once “A cottage crossed the threshold” I lose all sense of space. I can’t tell at all if this is supposed to be in a dream Luna’s journeying through or what. I did recognize the fragments from the first hundred letter word in Finnegans Wake which supposedly represents the Fall, but I don’t see the relevance.
Next Twilight enters somehow, and also Duckytoy. I don’t understand what’s going on, all I’m understanding is a few references to events from the show, and I also can’t shake the suspicion that if I had watched some of the episodes more than once or twice I would recognize more.
Now we have a more definite reference to Discord, namely the juxtaposition of “Disco” and “hung up by the cord in the rafters”. I don’t understand the phone call, the apoplexy, Groping Oats. Maybe the apoplexy is Applejack somehow.