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/fan/ - Fanworks

A hub for fan projects.
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Pre-reader 63.546"s Equestria Daily Feedback Thread Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92UCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 23[View][Last 50 Posts]

#Reviewer

As everyone should know by now, Equestria Daily has gone almost exclusively to short bullet-point reviews, except in cases where only a small number of items need to be corrected for posting. I enjoy giving longer reviews, but can no longer do so through Equestria Daily, so I will post them here. I will only do so for stories that in my estimation would have passed the old automoon system; others will get only the bullet-point treatment in the email.

This thread is only for the authors in question and me. They are free to ask questions or ask me to remove their reviews from the thread for any reason. For any other traffic, I will ask a mod to delete it. General questions about Equestria Daily or the pre-reading process should be posted here:
>>128414

Note that I won't give an exhaustive list of errors; I'll provide a representative list of the types of problems I find and leave it to the author to scour his story for the rest.

To avoid repeating myself, I'll post a few of the more common discussion topics up here; your review may refer you to one or more of these.

Dash and hyphen use:
Hyphens are reserved for stuttering and hyphenated words. Please use a proper dash otherwise. They can be the em dash (Alt+0151) with no spaces around it or en dash (Alt+0150) surrounded by spaces. Some usage (primarily American) employs only the em dash, while other usage (primarily British) employs an em dash for cutoffs and an en dash for asides. It doesn't matter which system an author uses, as long as he is consistent.

Comma use with conjunctions:
There may be other grammatical reasons to place commas, but in the simplest forms, commas accompany conjunctions to separate clauses, not to separate two items of a compound subject, verb, or object. The most common simple sentence forms are:
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Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92UCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3497

Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

>an exasperated hoof to her face//

Well, to be fair, it's not the hoof that's exasperated. But more to the point, it's better if you imply emotion than state it outright, and from what she does and what she says, you could cut that "exasperated," and it would still be clear.

>come on!//

If you have a word italicized for emphasis, it's preferred to include an exclamation mark or question mark on it in the italics.

>a clear sign of intense effort//

This would seem to be from Starlight's perspective. Trixie would note intense effort from how much she was concentrating or straining herself or something. Evaluating the outward evidence is more in Starlight's court. Yet in the next sentence, you go on to say what Trixie could feel her vein doing, and that's not something Starlight could know, so I can't tell what perspective you want this to be. It's definitely not omniscient, but you don't have a steady viewpoint.

>for someone that//

For sentient creatures, it's preferred to use "who" instead of "that."

>especially for someone that wasn’t under the tutelage of an alicorn//

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Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92UCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3499

Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

Chapter i.i:
>She was like a kitten readying itself to pounce on a toy mouse; primal instincts urging her to intimidate her prey, while woefully unaware of how sweet and friendly she really looked.//
That's not a correct use of a semicolon. You should be able to replace one with a period, but the part after it would be left as a sentence fragment in this case.

>in mock agony//

>her friend mocked//
Pretty close together to use that word again already.

>“Alright,” Starlight reached out with her mind//

You're trying to use a non-speaking action as a speech tag.

>cleverly dampening Twilight’s magic hoofprint//

If you mean something akin to "suppressing," the preferred term is "damping."
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Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92UCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3500

Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

Synopsis:
>shined like silver//
"Shined is the past tense for the transitive version of the verb. You want "shone."

>dragons breath//

Missing an apostrophe.

Chapter 1:
>Goddesses blinding glory//
Missing apostrophe.

>recoiling back//

Redundant.
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File: 1536873473869.png (124.7 KB, 743x1076, moonlight_rose.png)

Drawing fiverr AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3486[View]

Willing to draw for some bucks

https://www.fiverr.com/s2/b37b2b5b42

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3496

>commissioned


File: 142806817269.gif (26.44 KB, 100x138, cadance-dance-right.gif)

Desktop Ponies Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 458[View][Last 50 Posts]

8 bit ponies on your desktop.

Full Download (v1.63 released 2018-03-09)

Another year, another thread - and as always even more ponies than before (Old Thread >>45984).

Check out the deviantART community:
http://desktop-pony-team.deviantart.com

Also check out the OC thread for more ponies, and information about creating your own OCs:
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/collab/res/43607.html

Your can find the program source code on github:
https://github.com/RoosterDragon/Desktop-Ponies
This post was edited by its author on .
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Bow Hothoof (and Sphinx) download Bot-chanCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3435

File: 1532903843733.gif (22.83 KB, 92x104, bowhothoof-idle-right.gif)

It's been a while since I've submitted something here, so here's a simple Desktop Pony of Rainbow Dash's dad:

https://sta.sh/013vwtwciizm

And I seem to have accidentally deleted the previous download for the Sphinx, so here she is again:

https://sta.sh/01yt4syfb47y

Enjoy :)

Smolder download Bot-chanCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3485

File: 1536427098579.gif (11.75 KB, 50x84, smolder-pose-right.gif)

Dragons are always fun. Enjoy :)

https://sta.sh/02022p577dy7

Major MintyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3494

Does anyone have Daybreaker? I tried to do her but her hair just is way too complicated for my skill. I can't animate large flames for the life of me. Shadowstar's immortal form is eventually the alter-ego of the escaped Daybreaker Soul, but was born outside of Equestria.


File: 1533152054560.png (213.95 KB, 400x800, kawaii.png)

Spirit's Art & Commissions Spirit ShineCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3451[View]

Those of you who've been around for a long while might know that I used to like to draw a lot. Now that I'm done with school, I'd like to draw more often and professionally. If what I do interests you, please follow me on social media and consider commissioning me. Your support is greatly appreciated!

DeviantArt
Tumblr
Twitch
Patreon
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AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3478

Breddy gud.
Didn't know tumblr had that layout now. It confuses me.

Spirit ShineCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3480

File: 1535758363500.png (339.44 KB, 600x1150, Miraculous.png)

>>3460
Not really sure how to do that without looking like I'm just here to sell arts. Do you think people would be into watching me stream? Also wonder if the thread would get moved if I did post one since it's art

>>3478
Thanks! Everyone can customize the layout of their own blog if that's what you mean. The site as a whole generally looks the same unless you haven't seen it in years

>>3479

It's okay Pipes! It makes me happy just knowing you support me!

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3493

File: 1538352392310.jpg (3.99 KB, 259x194, images.jpeg)

I want to tear Spirits bagina in half like that dog does in Blood C


Pinkie Drinks Monster [ANIMATION] AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3490[View]

Pinkie Drinks Monster [ANIMATION]

Pinkie Pie Drinks Monster [ANIMATION]


File: 1507232233879.gif (34.74 KB, 310x226, 1552811__safe_apple+bloom_appl…)

applejack shakin her bum jacob foolsonCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2997[View]

lol i maid a pictuer! applejack is shaking her bum @ her sister applebloom.
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Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3005

Is this a new meme?

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3477

File: 1535334965691.jpg (17.65 KB, 300x251, 1c23d06a1e5ae72c3882d1cf93df3b…)

Bloom's emotion here reminds me of this one.

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3487



File: 1488362205238.png (2.35 MB, 2250x1250, intospace1small.png)

ponyinto.space Lex Rudera!rW/xyJMPOoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2729[View]

I need more images for the pointless site, http://ponyinto.space/
halp.
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lostponyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3452

File: 1533156025108.jpg (443.4 KB, 6544x5088, ponyspace.jpg)

>>2731

howz dis

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3453

>>3452
Mr. Sagan, is that you?

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3476

>>3452
Billions / billions.


Ponykart vanished? Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3474[View]

While I'm talking to a couple of friends online about how Hasbro could possibly make an MLP game for a wide audience if partnered up with someone, it got me thinking on fan projects. Fighting is Magic and Equestria Legends come to mind: The MLP fan MMO is still going strong and while Fighting is Magic bit the dust, it still has its fans as it is still played today even after being canceled. But one other project came into my mind and that was PonyKart. It was supposed to be a kart racing game with the Mane 6 and possibly more characters as the racers with karts and race tracks being built from the ground up and even getting music for the game made. Today I found out the project had been canceled years ago and a fan group picked it up to continue the project. I go to the group and it's been dormant for two years, souricng a website they use now, being Ponykart.org, but I cannot access it for some reason so I can't tell if the project is still going on. Further more they had postings on a website called Trello with concept art as well as progress, but that also laid dormant two years ago. Can anybody help a guy out and find out what has happened?


File: 1534244053311.jpg (92.26 KB, 507x622, EddDrewPoniesAtOnePoint2Electr…)

I couldn't think of a subject title, I am so sorry Will(Electro)Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3464[View]

So, I went to the Eddsworld tumblr account for the sake of nostalgia and I found quite the bizarre and lovely gem, which I wanted to share with you
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Will(electro)Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3469

File: 1534456235012.jpg (38.09 KB, 507x426, EddDrewPoniesAtOnePoint.JPG)

>>3468
No, It's just...this

I don't really get it

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3470

File: 1534478153440.png (568.83 KB, 765x835, shy148.png)

Ah, long horse faces.

Will(Electro)Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3471

>>3470

I just think Edd scares me now
Like how could he make something like mlp into something moderately unsettling


File: 1529450664598.jpg (23.48 KB, 230x173, 09 Greeny Rainstream.png)

Rainstream's Art Thread RainstreamCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3372[View]

Huh, could have sworn I had an art thread around here somewhere. Eh whatever I never used it anyway. Must have gotten killed during the whole shift back in 2013. Geez I've been gone a while.
I'm in a concise mood.
I'mma make art and post it here.
Comment if you like it or give me critique and stuff. I've literally just started drawing 2 weeks ago so I need all the help I can get.
I take requests.
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Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3413

File: 1530342811711.jpg (85.25 KB, 640x960, dash109.jpg)

It sounded like someone was snoring the whole time during the stream.

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3414

File: 1530343814491.jpg (78.34 KB, 755x960, 141212433477.jpg)

>>3413
Yeah, that's my roommate. He went to bed about halfway through and he snores like a bear.

RainstreamCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3461

File: 1533580718103.jpg (1.83 MB, 3024x4032, 12 Lydia.jpg)

I made an orcadragon OC.

Her name is Lydia.


File: 1532457379586.jpg (99.09 KB, 791x1011, summer_sun_celebration_by_kp_s…)

Freshly published story: Supernova Daybreak Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3432[View]

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/415153/supernova-daybreak

I'm trying to win a writing competition with this one.


File: 1507964838677.png (785.18 KB, 1920x1080, flutterheart friendss no bg.pn…)

MLP - The Flutterby Effect AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3006[View]

I can't edit the thread title, but I've changed this to a general art thread.

Original description:
This is a fan project, so I thought it might be alright to post here; if it's not let me know! Sorry!

I'm working on a fan miniseries called the Flutterby Effect (working title), and am at the point where I need voice actors. (Not just the ones listed here, of course, but as far as the first episode, at least.)

There is a casting call here if anyone is interested! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1Rm-8O3IiM Otherwise, feel free to just look at the attached image and hopefully enjoy it.
This post was edited by its author on .
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AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3020

File: 1508968860239.png (1.11 MB, 1769x1293, fusion3.png)

>>3010
Thank you for the kind words! I know I've still got some practicing to do, but I hope I'm getting there.

If a general art thread is indeed something that's alright for me to post here (and again, if I'm doing something wrong, I apologize!), here's something else I drew—a fusion of the pony princesses for a short story I wrote.

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3022

>>3009
Your Luna is better than the canonical Luna.

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3431

Flutterby fluttershy
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File: 1515568088563.png (272.41 KB, 1280x720, Screenshot_2018-01-09-18-26-56…)

Friendship is Pandering AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3079[View]

Hello this is a new parody series a friend of mine has been working on for a good while. He would love feedback. Of course not all will like this and that's understandable but do give it a chance. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.
https://youtu.be/WQlxzK06TfA
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Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3096

>>3087
This.

FipGuyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3098

Glad you all like it so much! More is surely to come soon!

AustroSpikeCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3121

>>3098
Thank you and keep up the good work.


File: 1460998587758.png (37.55 KB, 955x553, Nursery Rhyme.png)

MSpaint art requests Timekeeper!vLNCOxl8yMCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2076[View]

Yeah... Not much more to say. If I like the request, I'll take it.
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Timekeeper!vLNCOxl8yMCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3074

File: 1515147569823.png (384.9 KB, 890x807, LITANYWHAT.png)

Hey, OP here. I actually learned how to use the brushes in Win10 MSPaint. How have you all been?

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3078

File: 1515429555206.png (13.23 KB, 190x181, cmcb29.png)

>>3074
Looking good.

Things have been rather quiet around here, as usual.

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3081

>>3074
Pretty good.


File: 1512232287244.png (772.48 KB, 3731x3225, miner_rarity_helmet.png)

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3050[View]

Hello my horses, I made a clicker. Please throw rats at it.

https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/702875
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Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3076

>>3075
lmao

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3077

File: 1515429490088.gif (733.77 KB, 564x360, alldr1.gif)

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3086

https://youtu.be/UU5eJUl0WgA?t=16m32s

I can't embed the video sad horse


File: 1434157849969.png (49.34 KB, 358x306, fluttersad.png)

i did a thing Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 657[View]

i wrote a fanfic on dA that i hope to adapt into an animated series in the future (that's why it's written in a lovable script format) pls give me your feedback or else fluttershy will cri
http://datponeenthusiast90.deviantart.com/art/Decibelle-and-Gingerroot-Ep-2-ACT-I-538113930
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AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3080

>>657
im in love

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRoCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3082

>>659
Plebeian.

!RISkQqf4EMCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3265

holy shit a thread from 2015


File: 1532439636179.jpg (155.63 KB, 1193x670, arma_3_warfare_is_magic_by_ink…)

Arma 3 Pony mod LyraPlushieeeCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3430[View]

I'm looking for this mod.

The creators lost the files and there's no backup available as it was only on workshop...

Does anyone still has It on their PC?


Fanfic in progress: help with some names? McBehrer!MBZYCuFtNgCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3209[View]

Hey guys!

Man, it sure is good to be back on this site. It must have been... 3, 4 years since the last time I was here?

Anyway, I am working on writing a fanfic, and I have a lot of ideas nailed down, but I would like to see if any of you could maybe help me out with some names.

I need:
A name for an art exhibit (themed around capturing moments from everyday life in Equestria, in a frank and realistic manner)

The creator of said art pieces. I'm looking for something that indicates his skill at sculpting -- particularly with marble -- and is maybe just a tiny bit suggestive.

Whatever Button Mash's mom's name is. I don't know if she has a particular name that is universally agreed-upon, but whatever it is, I want to know it.

Similarly, the name of a janitor. If there's a canon janitor, that would work (is Hayseed Turniptruck a character? I lost track of fanon after a while)

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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McBehrer!!HmMTV1BJR3Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3279

>>3278
Yeah, either one is good. I can decide after I get suggestions. I was thinking of something like Marble Spire or something for the artist.

McBehrer!!HmMTV1BJR3Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3361

File: 1529196975253.gif (6.89 KB, 650x450, 01659.gif)

RainstreamCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3388

It depends on the race.

Unicorns tend to have glittery, celestial, or adjective based names.

Earth ponies tend to have object based names relevant to their special talent.

Pegasi tend to have weather or flying based names, usually with a verb thrown in.

Bonus points if any of them form a pun or play on words
This post was edited by its author on .


File: 1523335384865.jpg (207.98 KB, 1600x900, epic 2.jpg)

Remembering: Sensual Stories Threads, The Collection SonicPony45Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3162[View]

Oh man, do I have a throwback post for you guys. Okay, a long time ago, back in the baby days of Ponychan, before the merger, before the drama and everything, this site used to be much larger with TONS of boards. It was litty. The year was 2011 and the Brony fandom was still in its infancy.

This board used to be called /fic/, because music, games and videos had their own boards. Me and a few other O.G's used to have a running thread called "Sensual Stories" thread. it was SO popular, we'd revise the thread everytime we reached 500+ posts. I mean, we were on like "Sensual Stories Thread #35" in just a few months, it was fucking huge.

The point was to create a single short story in as few posts as possible. Stories ranged from HOT to Awww and everything in between. They were romance stories, often told from 2nd person, and were very popular. We'd write our stories and review or critique each others work. It was awesome.

I made ALOT of friends on those sensual threads, and we accumulated many fans. We had haters who would tell us "clopping was wrong" and stuff, and it was understandable. See, this was back in the day when the creators of the SHOW would ACTUALLY come HERE to chat with us. We had artists, animators and even a few writers come to Ponychan and chop it up, so many were worried about what our stories were gonna do.

Anyway, the Sensual Stories Threads lasted for YEARS, but started dying in 2014~ When this site went redux, many boards got merged. Many cool secret boards and staff left (Staff used to be SO interactive with us, it was great), and them the merger happened and even more changed.

But my boi Sandman... he collected some of our FIRST works from the first 5 or so Sensual Stories Threads and put them in 6 PDF's. I literally made a DropBox account, JUST to share them. They have been in my SkyDrive (One Drive now) since 2012, and I just read some of our early works. He build a very nice book out of them, and added credits to the writers. It brought a tear to my eye as I read some of our works. I've been with this fanbase since day one and to see the names of all my fellow O.G's that are no longer on this site makes me miss the beginnings. Season 2 was still hyping up, Lauren Faust was still active on the show, this site had ALL the traffic, EQD was a fucking BABY site, bronies were SO creative, everyday was NEW user content. Music, flash games, animation and of course...sensual stories.. so here i
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Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3168

I remember the sensual threads. Nice to see you back

PonySonic45Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3212

>>3168

Yeah, its been a minute for me. This site is much slower than the old days. I've been away into the Navy. I'm finishing up and going to go to college. My life has Def changed. I went from gang banging to sailor and now college student.

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3371

File: 1529450289790.gif (2.22 MB, 363x866, soexcited.gif)

You still have them?! Dude, you rock!


File: 1518646945980.png (28.54 KB, 770x609, Elf.png)

Kabel teh Lewdy[FARMER]HobbitCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3107[View]

I made, an Elf Maiden

If anypony wanna edit her & create their own Elf~ go ahead/ I'm was just recoloring

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3110

File: 1518687078244.gif (432.99 KB, 348x489, bg25.gif)

But... that's a pony!

Kabel teh Lewdy[FARMER]HobbitCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3111

File: 1518689267253.png (30.7 KB, 770x608, Elf.png)

Updated

and, she is a Forest Warrior

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 3145

Nice pony.


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