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/fan/ - Fanworks

A hub for fan projects.
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Jan 20: Board Organization Discussion
Jan 15: Staff Update, and Rules Update

File: 1358797128571.png (1012.61 KB, 1504x765, mortimer_splash_by_enma_darei-…)

Enma/Mortimer's Commissions Are Back! Mortimer !HOoVEs3Q5. 728[View][Last 50 Posts]

deviantArttumblr PatreonYouTube ko-fi

Commissions are: Open
Commission Information
This post was edited by its author on .
266 posts and 224 image replies omitted. Click View to see all.

2854

File: 1501111195183.png (262.16 KB, 1237x841, Frederick.png)

2855

File: 1501111239023.png (546.35 KB, 1168x835, Ice Crem.png)

Clarity!EGL9GiOd9k 2858

File: 1501160783094.png (39.74 KB, 198x198, dash362.png)

Nice drawings there.


Pre-reader 63.546"s Equestria Daily Feedback Thread Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92U 23[View][Last 50 Posts]

#Reviewer

As everyone should know by now, Equestria Daily has gone almost exclusively to short bullet-point reviews, except in cases where only a small number of items need to be corrected for posting. I enjoy giving longer reviews, but can no longer do so through Equestria Daily, so I will post them here. I will only do so for stories that in my estimation would have passed the old automoon system; others will get only the bullet-point treatment in the email.

This thread is only for the authors in question and me. They are free to ask questions or ask me to remove their reviews from the thread for any reason. For any other traffic, I will ask a mod to delete it. General questions about Equestria Daily or the pre-reading process should be posted here:
>>128414

Note that I won't give an exhaustive list of errors; I'll provide a representative list of the types of problems I find and leave it to the author to scour his story for the rest.

To avoid repeating myself, I'll post a few of the more common discussion topics up here; your review may refer you to one or more of these.

Dash and hyphen use:
Hyphens are reserved for stuttering and hyphenated words. Please use a proper dash otherwise. They can be the em dash (Alt+0151) with no spaces around it or en dash (Alt+0150) surrounded by spaces. Some usage (primarily American) employs only the em dash, while other usage (primarily British) employs an em dash for cutoffs and an en dash for asides. It doesn't matter which system an author uses, as long as he is consistent.

Comma use with conjunctions:
There may be other grammatical reasons to place commas, but in the simplest forms, commas accompany conjunctions to separate clauses, not to separate two items of a compound subject, verb, or object. The most common simple sentence forms are:
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
650 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click View to see all.

Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92U 2852

Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

>‘Tura//

You have an opening quote there, not an apostrophe.

>“Reschedule one or two things”.//

>“The Country Tourer”.//
Period goes inside the quotes. There are times you can make the argument that it wasn't part of the quote, but these aren't exactly quotations. You're not putting a comma before them like they're speech.

>Coloratura tried to meet her half-lidded eye, and found she simply couldn’t.//

No need for a comma there. It's all one clause.

>Tain’t//

Could use an apostrophe on the front as well, since you're clipping it short there.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92U 2856

Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

>having audience with her//

Usually, that's phrased as "an" audience.

Right away, a lot of your verb choices tend toward the stagnant. You have 8 "to be" verbs in just the first 5 paragraphs. You're killing the story's momentum before it even has any. Most times, it's not hard to rephrase a lot of these things with active verbs, in the narration at least. You get leeway for dialogue, since people don't take fancy routes around such verbs, and the dialogue does need to sound natural. But as for the narration, the more active you keep it, the more interesting it is.

The beginning is also very generalized. Someone waiting to speak to Celestia is common enough that it doesn't stand out. So what can you do to make it pop? Well, look at what comes next. The narrator says she hasn't been here in a long time, and she enjoys looking around, but the detail level is so vague. If you'd just returned to a place you knew very well after being away for ages, how would you react? You'd notice lots of little details. You just mention generic things like rugs and marble floors that are stock pieces for a castle, and we don't even get a description of what any of it looks like. Impress me with how grand it is. Tie it to her personal experience. She's going to look at things that mean something to her. She doesn't just see the rug. She sees it still has the curled-up edge she used to trip on when she was young. The clock on the wall that none of the staff could ever seem to keep properly wound. A vase she remembers is gone now. Did it get broken, or had Celestia only kept it there to humor her? This is the kind of thing I'm looking for. Make this a very personal experience for the narrator, not some routine errand, since you haven't described it as one. (Actually making a routine errand interesting is a whole other topic.)

>Still, the same rugs and tapestries adorned the halls. The marble floors and walls were still//

Watch repeating a word that close.

>the guards and servants that walked the halls//

When referring to sentient beings, it's customary to use "who" instead of "that."
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Pre-reader 63.546!vZ.Mh9z92U 2857

>>2856
>poured over every sentence//
pored

>I excused my behavior for that you needed to learn how to cope on your own//

That's pretty hard to parse.

For a rather long letter, it sure doesn't say much. it covers all the generic stuff you'd expect it to, but it doesn't have any sort of detail to it. That leaves it feeling very impersonal. It just keeps going back over that he loves her and time travel is dangerous. The bit about Luna is interesting, but it's odd for that to just now come up, so late in the story.

>Though it was not until very recent//

recently

>her features somewhat nervous, as if she was embarrassed about her behavior//

I don't understand why this would embarrass her. It's a heartfelt emotion, one that's completely understandable.

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File: 142806817269.gif (26.44 KB, 100x138, cadance-dance-right.gif)

Desktop Ponies 458[View][Last 50 Posts]

8 bit ponies on your desktop.

Full Download (v1.61 released 2016-07-15)

Another year, another thread - and as always even more ponies than before (Old Thread >>45984).

Check out the deviantART community:
http://desktop-pony-team.deviantart.com

Also check out the OC thread for more ponies, and information about creating your own OCs:
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/collab/res/43607.html

Your can find the program source code on github:
https://github.com/RoosterDragon/Desktop-Ponies
This post was edited by its author on .
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Pony clustering on dual monitors Anonymous 2848

>>2589
If there's a solution, it's not yet implemented. It happens to me too, and it happens every time I enable the "Avoid a portion of this area" checkbox. No matter where that area is set, the ponies congregate to the far right of my dual display. As soon as I turn it off, they begin to distribute themselves more evenly again.

My monitors are different resolutions, if that helps anyone debug.

It's not a huge deal for me, but I thought I'd provide some extra info for anyone looking into it or having the same issue.

Thanks for the great program!

I'm back... but I think this is the last time Major Minty 2849

File: 1500493379569.gif (25.72 KB, 140x120, kitty_stand_alarm_big.gif)

I'm kinda phasing out of MLP at this point but just wanted to drop in. Some of my DP sprites might get dumped here for showcase or completion but this might be the last time I visit Ponychan. Also I am way too busy to do that stuff right now anyway as I now have an official YouTube channel to maintain and a very tough college schedule. Before I go, have a look at this older animation of pony me struggling with a malfunctioning smoke alarm. I know, it's stupid... but it might spark some ideas. She is my old counterpart, Prettyshimmer, before Kitty Warmwonder and Major Minty the Good Witch came up.

2851

>>2849

Yeah I know the life is rought, Just do what you feel is beter for you.

Also Who know, maybe some of those unfinished DP could be finished from someone here or osed somewhere else :)


File: 1493394229191.png (791.05 KB, 1200x1800, Title.png)

Seed Comic Anonymous 2776[View]

Anyone interested in a comic where the CMC and a fourth filly wind up growing Cannabis?
4 posts omitted. Click View to see all.

Anonymous 2792

The OC's mother has an eating disorder she picked up on a mission in a foreign land as a royal guard scout. She has no appetite and most medicines have disabling side effects due to the unknown magical nature of the condition. The OC has been trying to find an herbal remedy without the side-effects. She has tried most magical plants in equestria without much luck, but stumbles upon a plant she has no knowledge of.

>>2791

So I should wait a year or two until my cartoon anatomy improves? If so, I'll put the project on hold or cancel it altogether; thanks.

Anonymous 2795

>>2792
The story could actually be workable and produce feelz--I don't know how plausible it is in a magical land where everyone with a horn can make reality warp itself to suit his whims, but handled properly it is possible to make something good out of this. However it is unavoidable that you're going to get an awful lot of eye-rolling and "LOL WEED" reactions, because this kind of thing has been WAY overdone over the past ten, fifteen years, enough that just seeing it is going to leave a sour taste in a lot of people's mouths. It would have to be awfully well written to overcome that.

And yes, please practice your art. Especially eyes and faces.

Elicoor13 2847

File: 1500371992317.jpg (298.2 KB, 1024x768, 1470305539614.jpg)

bruh, bruh, i get what you're trying to do, and i respect it, but it honestly feels like you're trying to force a narrative.

this anon
>>2795
has great points. however, i'd like to add that it really seems like you're a bit too gung-ho with this. there will be other stories, and comic about stoner fillies will seem silly in a year. if this really is your magnum opus, maybe take some time away from it and come up with a better reason why this pony's mom needs weed rather than say...magic.

your eating disorder thing is...okay, but it feels like it's a flimsy excuse to put weed into your story(no offense intended). the issue is that if you go with cancer, then you run into a whole host of issues relating to the tone of your comic. i don't think many people wanna read the cmc presents breaking bad except with weed.

if that's what you wanna do tho, go ahead, i'd at least be interested in checking out a page or two. but other people might call it out as being unnecessarily dark or that illegal drug dealing just doesn't work in a land where a literal god is their monarch.
This post was edited by its author on .


File: 1494608414918.gif (711.33 KB, 479x324, Celestia_abuses_her_power_ruth…)

need fic recommendations Anonymous 2783[View]

I'm having a bad time of it these days and I need something to read to take my mind off it.

Can anyone recommend any happy, fluffy clop that's decently well written?

I also have this desire to read good hurt/comfort fic but then again, given the nature of some of the things I'm dealing with--well, can anyone recommend anything well written?

Thanks.

Have a pony pic because I don't think you can start a thread without one.

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRo 2786

+1

Anonymous 2813

>>2783
>fluffy
>decently well written
Choose one.


File: 1430743964994.png (197.5 KB, 500x438, my-little-pony-friendship-is-m…)

Must-play pony fan games Suddenly Pinkamena!Im9SILLYXo 13[View]

1 post omitted. Click View to see all.

xfdxf 2788

File: 1494872969441.jpg (Spoiler Image, 119.14 KB, 775x1030, b5f0b5f035b31729b7bcaf733961e6…)

sgsfggkhi

asdhbfrhy 2789

File: 1494873337767.png (Spoiler Image, 99.54 KB, 534x406, Captura.PNG)

wdrasasd
asdfghjklñ
qwertyuiopzxcvbnm
pony ♥ kasd sadlglt sofia

Anonymous 2811

Super Lesbian Horse RPG


File: 1494993128532.png (346.95 KB, 746x676, merch.png)

Bronycon 2013 Merch for Sale Anonymous 2793[View]

Apparently /merch/ is supposed to b merged with /fan/ so I guess this is the accurate place to post...

Please note: There is only ONE in stock for all listings. Once it's gone, it's gone. I can only ship within the USA.

I'm selling off handcrafted customs from Bronycon 2013 in order to have a bit of money to get by. All listings will be linked below and are at set discounted prices from their original pricing at the time of purchase / current price listing if it's still being sold by the creator.

I'd like to highlight the big ticket items, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence plushes from Cutie Corral, both wearing their royal wedding attire. They're listed individually, but I honestly can't imagine them being apart, haha.

Plushes:

Princess Cadence Custom Handmade Plush - Cutie Corral [Wedding Edition]
http://www.ebay.com/itm/222513964175?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

Shining Armor Custom Handmade Plush - Cutie Corral [Wedding Edition]
http://www.ebay.com/itm/222513965919?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1460998587758.png (37.55 KB, 955x553, Nursery Rhyme.png)

MSpaint art requests Timekeeper!vLNCOxl8yM 2076[View]

Yeah... Not much more to say. If I like the request, I'll take it.
44 posts and 19 image replies omitted. Click View to see all.

Timekeeper!vLNCOxl8yM 2709

>>2707
Kinda, don't know the whole story with that pone, though I like where you're going with that. I joked with my friend that their OC must bleach the tips of their feathers and then dye them to get that look, that's my take.

Mac !RevGiOKgRo 2713

>>2709
Then again they could just be painting over it, if they wanted to be cheapskates. Heh.

Peppermint Pattie!37ICrogcW2 2763

File: 1491602405700.png (71.36 KB, 432x479, tumblr_inline_ok1m2mDDA21swkwl…)

>>2076
Doodle this minty mare?


File: 1491312136145.png (3.86 KB, 400x400, tumblr_nm5z2a2EUq1s3fz9wo1_400…)

2759[View]

I have a oc name Amber she love's to draw and make new friends. She also have a pat fox name Stitches,She can fly and walk. I would love to have her in my blog/desktop fly,walk & talk also the fox following her. I was having problems with Browser-Ponies would you plz make Amber for me?? I try my best but still having problems its just me not understand computer skill. After you are done make sure you won't steal, because she my oc i am the one made her she is too precious for me. Thank you so mush for helping ps If you can't make Amber for me that's okay i understand. my gmail "amberlovefox@gmail.com" This post was edited by its author on 4 Apr 2017 8:12:51 AM. Hi it's me my oc did't not show sorry didn't know how in the first place. I don't want to bother you but here's she is hop this time you can see my beloved Amber.
This post was edited by its author on .

Clarity!EGL9GiOd9k 2760

File: 1491386588709.png (28.43 KB, 672x800, dash197.png)

I'm no good with such things but in case you find no help you could ask the desktop pony team perhaps:
http://desktop-pony-team.deviantart.com/


File: 1483217826985.gif (2.78 MB, 1045x833, cheesier the better.gif)

[b]Pone Video Thread[/b] Anonymous 2665[View]

Post your videos!
Critique other anon's vidoes!
I'll scrubscribe to anyone who replies!

I just finished my first PMV a few days ago and have another wip I might post looking for suggestions. If you want to see Twilight rap vulgarities, then this is the video for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnVvPC1TrPo

Anonymous 2744

Hhheeeeyyyy! Good thred!

Сheck out the vid. I did the animation myself for two **lovely** weeks. **1st vid of mine**


Post MOAR yors!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEh7dAwD17c

Anonymous 2746

Idk how could I do such shiet but what's done is done. Sorry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC4WwExyD0I
This post was edited by its author on .


File: 1480283925428.jpg (784.12 KB, 1000x1232, 4yrs-1432424657-13034-full.jpg)

The Age of Wings and Steel Reading - Chapters 1-5 - 6 Incoming! Strangest Amethyst 2640[View]

Hello again Ponychan Fanworks board!

A while ago I posted the first couple chapters of my reading of DSNesmith's The Age of Wings and Steel. (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/13034/the-age-of-wings-and-steel)

I've since gotten a bit further with the story, up to Chapter 5 with Chapter 6 exporting as I speak, and I thought I'd post each video released thus far here to get the opinions of the fine folks at Ponychan once again.

Chapter 1 - The Field: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCq6_2B1Yaw

Chapter 2 - Celestia and the Council: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BaNUoqHXhg

Chapter 3 - A Chance Meeting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN2eY5notD0

Chapter 4 - An Unusual Messenger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAbmYv_mrTQ

Chapter 5 - Northward Bound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3mZ0YXq0O4
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Strangest Amethyst 2641

Strangest Amethyst 2679

Chapter 7 - The Tale of Trottingham: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pb25Lc4-YI

Strangest Amethyst 2749

Chapter 8 - Ultimatum: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SptOkgDs1yA

Chapter 9 - The Beginning of an Age: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xFz3QG_h8Q

Chapter 10 - Treason (New!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6A2gHUKLDI
This post was edited by its author on .


Sunset Shimmer - Cage of Sin Anonymous 2741[View]

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/366639/cage-of-sin

It has honestly been years since I wrote an MLP fanfic (I've just been working with Ever After High stories, my new bae) so I wrote a new story, this time about Sunset Shimmer

2743

File: 1489145067331.gif (498 KB, 432x432, 1117879__safe_twilight+sparkle…)

interesting read. I guess that answers the question of 'what happens to your double when you enter a parallel universe'... Why didn't she want to go back to Equestria, though? doesn't really make sense to me. and what about Twilight's double? Did she end up in Newark, New Jersey? surely a fate worse than death.


File: 1488362205238.png (2.35 MB, 2250x1250, intospace1small.png)

ponyinto.space Lex Rudera!rW/xyJMPOo 2729[View]

I need more images for the pointless site, http://ponyinto.space/
halp.
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click View to see all.

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRo 2732

Are cheap photoshops good enough?

Lex Rudera!rW/xyJMPOo 2733

>>2732
Definitely! Cheap photoshops is all I have so far, after all

Lex Rudera!rW/xyJMPOo 2742

And then nothing happened. Well, it was worth the try.


File: 1479340167384.png (177.85 KB, 640x378, 142324983488.png)

Anonymous 2622[View]

I need a little help. I've been trying to find an audio project, but my leads seem to be dead ends. It is a radio play about Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash on Hearth's Warming based in part on "Gift of the Magi." It was done by Scoot-Scootaloo and talked about on Brony Time ep. 57 (http://www.bronytime.com/2013/12/episode-57-how-scoots-and-crew-saved-christmas/). However, they never said on the episode (and I've listened to it twice to find it) where the play would be available to hear after it's premier or even what it is called. I'm hoping someone here knows what I'm talking about and where it is.

Clarity!EGL9GiOd9k 2635

File: 1479798684326.png (203.54 KB, 505x507, dash220.png)

No luck finding it, sorry.

Macaroni !RevGiOKgRo 2739

Bumping because I'd like to listen to this, and I can't find it either.


File: 1488596844192.jpg (105.74 KB, 1024x576, Fluttershy's Dark Soul.jpg)

Spiriting Fluttershy's Dark Sky [Fanfic] 2734[View]

Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle have a spiritual journey.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/361294/spiriting-fluttershys-dark-sky


Vote Twilight Sparkle for Princess of America Anonymous 2609[View]

MacGay !RevGiOKgRo 2610

No.

2719

File: 1487605841339.png (1.68 MB, 1920x1080, bg129.png)

Sure, how much worse could it get?

Mac !RevGiOKgRo 2720

>>2719
Fallout 3 irl?


File: 1487050581428.jpg (293.68 KB, 700x700, Referencia-1.jpg)

Valentine´s day 2708[View]

Hope you like it!

Clarity!EGL9GiOd9k 2712

File: 1487149844346.png (386.73 KB, 756x743, twi247.png)

Very cute!

Mac !RevGiOKgRo 2714

>>2708
Is this part of a set?


[deleted] 2703[View]

[deleted]


File: 1486485897966.jpg (623.14 KB, 2000x1158, jg_mega_07.jpg)

2698[View]

Hello my fellow Bronies. As every fan of the show I created an alternate universe inspired by the end of the S5, but this is, as usual, a crossover between franchises. In this case I choose the Unreal franchise. I haven't received any advice, so I come here to shitpost my ideas.

My timeline is something like this:
>No Elements of Harmony. They vanished protecting Equestria.
>Twilight investigated the human beings. She bring some human technology to ponies.
>Somehow (I won't put here why), chaos went out of control, creating a new era.
>The Mane6 became more "divine", like a religion.
>A war between nations versus the pony empire began, because they wanted the pony technology.
>Space colonization is now a reality.

Literally every suggestion is accepted, no matter what it is.


File: 1484925727818.jpg (391.46 KB, 1280x853, Gilda.jpg)

Story Time! Pony Writer 2683[View]

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are in a playful mood. They walk by, and catch Gilda stuck in this position.

What do they do?

I’m gonna write a story about this! Hit me with your most fun, playful and naughty ideas. Whatever ideas are the best, and most popular, I’ll write a story about.

Here’s hoping we can make this thread into something creative, original, and fun!
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click View to see all.

Mac !RevGiOKgRo 2687

>>2685
It's an idea with a viable audience, but it's not my thing.
This post was edited by its author on .

Anonymous 2694

>>2683
>fun, playful
Paint some silly cutie mark on her flanks using something very hard to get rid of, then proceed to convince everyone in Ponyville that Gilda turned out to be half-pony as they just saw her get her mark. Don't know where you'd go from there, I never had the spark.

Anonymous 2696

Yo OP, you considered putting this on /mlp/?


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