What set me off was being called an edgelord.
Considering my history, I should by all rights hate every single person living on this Earth but I don't.
I try to stay positive but I also try to be realistic about my situation. I don't pretend things are better than they are.
Everything I have is eventually taken away from me, so when people start to freak out and tell me they are threatening to take things away from me I have a very hard time doing anything but shrug, because I already expected it.
If that comes across as 'edgelord', that isn't the intent. I just don't really have a strong reaction or investment in things such as this, because no matter the outcome, I'm going to end up shafted by it one way or another.
Things don't go my way. They never have, they never will. The only way I get anything is if I make an effort to get it, and it will always be temporary.
I don't respond much to threats because my existence is constant, unending punishment for having the nerve to keep existing. There is not much anything anyone can do to me other than outright kill me that would cause me any more suffering than I feel on a daily basis.
But I don't spend my days on here moping. I try to be cheerful, put people in a good mood most of the time. I don't drone on about the constant pain I am in, both physically and mentally because no one wants to hear about it. No one gives a shit about it, and to be fair they have no reason to.
So I do what I can to try and be positive around people.
Things like this though, when people pretend that they can do something that will make my life better. It irks me. Because that isn't how things work. They will have a better life, and I will help them with it if I can, usually.
But empty promises are something I don't want. You want me to vote so things can get better for you? Fine. Just don't try to tell me that it's helping me or that you're helping me. If I wanted you to lie to me, I would tell you to. I'd much rather somebody be honest and tell me they are just using me to get something they want instead of trying to tell me they are trying to help me, only to drop me the second they get what they need.
I don't mind being used. I mind being lied to.
This post was edited by its author on .