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Things we've learned from this thread, which must be applied to all others:
The serpent's name is Steven Magnet, and Scootaloo wants (the young unicorn, whatever her name is) to have sex with him.
Rainbow Dash has an erection, and is on steroids. explains why he's so girly I guess.
Luna is President Clinton, the rabbit is the Pope, and Applejack wants to create a powerful military, even if she doesn't know where Iraq is. So does Applebloom.
Bloomburg is castrated? must be why Fluttershy is hooking up so much. Sucks being a tree with a useless boyfriend.
Twilight really likes black people. Especially the 18-year-olds.
Arm wrestling = Debating.
Pinkie Pie has a stash of cocaine hundreds of miles long, which leads her to believe that all the teachers are cats, even though it's really Applebloom. (pic related tangentially) Spike has found it, and has told Twilight about it. She doesn't really care, or she already knows. I'm not too surprised either.