Posting anon for my own reasons. No.2510839
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I have come to the solid conclusion that I am a horrible friend. Also horrible at making friends, but more on that in a bit. A while back, I desperately needed my friends' help for something. Those I was able to contact dropped what they were doing (provided they could) and rushed to help. Afterwards, I wanted to call them just to talk, but I felt like I didn't want to disturb them (stupid, I know) or be a burden. Now it's been so long and I feel bad because it's like I was using them or something. I just feel like such a horible person. Like 'what the hay is wrong with me' kind of mentality going on. I know the answer is to just call and say hi or see how they are, but I feel like I want to wait for the weekend before I do anything. Another weekend.......
Also, I have a very hard time making close friends. Period. I'm always "that guy" that everypony knows but never really talks to or invites to go anywhere. Probably because I'm not sure what to say, so I don't say anything. With a new job (yay) comes a new start, but I feel myself going back to my old ways. I try hard to be social, really I do, but it's just never enough and it feels really awkward for some reason. I've just never been outgoing. Mostly I enjoyed being alone, but the old saying 'voices in your head are no big deal, but when you talk back'...well, lets say I have some interesting conversations. If anything, MLP has made me realize just how much this sucks. I see a tight group of friends who do everything together and it makes me sad to see my own situation. Worse yet, I can't even apply a lot of the lessons learned because I am so distant from anypony.
Any remedial lessons on friendship?