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/arch/ - Twilight's Library

The resting place for the best threads from Ponychan's past. Don't forget your camera!
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I don"t think I want to live anymore Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2486711[View All]

I just can't stand it anymore. I get so much pain from so many people in my life, it's just so fucking unbearable.
My mother, who I thought I could trust, got angry at me for questioning her beliefs, and told me we weren't going to be as close, and that she didn't care about me as much anymore, and that it's my fault that I don't have friends. And you know what? I'm convinced she's right. It's my fault I'm so damned uncomfortable with everything.
Usually when someone makes a thread about their life, they pump their heart and soul into it, and they come back with so much loving appraisal.
...I worked so hard on that thread... I put my soul and my tears and all the trust I could muster into it, only for it to be dead twice on the first day it was made. I'm just not as important as the others. I haven't suffered enough to earn love or significance, and I can't deal with any more pain anymore.
This pain is all because of my fucking insecurity; it's my fault. My life story is dead, my heart is broken, my mother doesn't care, my friends are all gone from me...
and I don't have the strength to go on anymore. I haven't felt this strongly about suicide for 10 years. I went out to skateboard, thinking I could clear my mind, but instead I spent that time stopping myself from hurdling my body into traffic. The only reason I wouldn't want to do that, is so that some poor fuck wouldn't have to scrape my flesh of the damned asphalt anyways. So here I am, on my last leg, and I don't even know what to do. I always thought that even suicide was a mercy I wasn't worth, but right now I'm thinking I might just indulge myself once and for all...

not that this fucking page will stay alive for an hour, anyways
279 posts and 144 image replies omitted. Click View to see all.

Galthux!LdDgPiYwwgCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487002

File: 130673804554.png (192.22 KB, 400x372, 130202131953.png)

>>2487001
lol forgot pic

Dietkoke!eGnLqfyqwYCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487003

File: 130673805089.jpg (62.62 KB, 472x568, Pinkie pie smile.jpg)

I'll be honest, I don't know know you that much but would like the opportunity to do so if that's ok with you.

Eventhough I've only seen you a couple of times in the "how are you threads" I'll say what I have said to everybody here who has been in your place...

You'll always find a friend in me

Autumn!Wind8zRZzACountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487004

File: 130673823758.png (23.94 KB, 380x334, Autumn.png)

>>2486997
It can. You just made it more like ponychan by participating in this. :)

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487006

>>2487000
are you gonna continue replying to threads?

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487007

>>2487006
*posts..

Fluttershyguy!8DuiwXJd.ECountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487008

File: 130673838248.jpg (55.46 KB, 350x400, fluttershyguy.jpg)

>>2486967
Listen, There's a lot more things I could say to you, but if you're feeling better, I leave well enough alone.

But if you ever feel yourself slipping again, come back and say something, and don't despair if it takes a couple of topics to get noticed, it happens a lot. Don't stop trying!

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487009

>>2487006
I'd really honestly love to be able to do that, but...
I sorta have to get to bed right now
I'm sorry about that...
>>2487003
I'd really love to know you too
feel free to add me on MSN or steam:
[email protected] and theothercheese, respectively
goodnight, everyone, I love you all

StarshineSprint!USD/SPeEDYCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487010

File: 130673904281.jpg (20.08 KB, 449x339, ILoveYouAll.jpg)

>>2487009
Good night cheese :)

Also, mfw /arch/ed

Autumn!Wind8zRZzACountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487011

File: 130674030840.png (23.94 KB, 380x334, Autumn.png)

Good night, sweet prince. :)

Seeya tomorrow, everypony... wait. It is tomorrow. Whatever...

Without Me Its Just Aweso !Nut.3QK3hQCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487012

This is one of the few threads that truely deserve to be in /arch/ not like half of the randomness from /oat/ that is in here. Op just remember you got a truely deserving thread to get into /arch/.

This thread makes me glad I'm part of the community just by lurkin half the time.

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487013

File: 130674187803.png (174.13 KB, 500x282, tumblr_ljqtqqkGZw1qa71spo1_500…)

>>2486965
>>2486966
>>2486967

>mfw ponychan saves a life

!!PinkiePie ## ModCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487014

>>2487013
are you thinking what im thinking?

the fray

Japko!ds5LV3EDhYCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487015

File: 130674640440.jpg (5.12 KB, 154x120, 130562927419.jpg)

I'm so happy right now...

Demon Boost!dAOXlYpzWACountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487016

File: 130674865972.jpg (149.94 KB, 648x718, g4boost.jpg)

I can't begin to express with mere words how special our combined coexistence really is. If THIS thread doesn't convince a person that Ponychan is truly magical, nothing will.

This is an amazing story. Cheese, you are an amazing person in the process of overcoming a frightening set of circumstances with every good and honest soul here by your side - including me.

This thread made me cry. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you as well, but I hope you'll at least accept the hugs I have to offer.

*pulls you in close and nuzzles you until he's had his share*

Things will get better, brony. Keep your head up. I love you - and all of you, here at Ponychan.

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487017

File: 130675035478.jpg (82.69 KB, 1001x915, 130237679305.jpg)

I didn't see any of this when it was going on, but... wow.

That'll do, Ponychan. That'll do.

I'm so glad to hear that you've reconsidered, Cheese, and I hope that things look up for you in the future. Remember you have friends here.

Guy with ideas for ficsCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487018

This thread,

This site,

Cheese


and that guy in that story about facing fears,

you ALL,

Define




BADASS!

pinkie the epic destroyer of all things parasprite-ish!E3n4Rlo04YCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487019

stay strong man

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487020

I'm sorry that I didn't post earlier here; I sure am glad that we were able to help you, cheese! I cannot begin to state how proud I am of this community and to be a part of it. The fact that we are able to save lives; to actually, tangibly save lives through our words, is something monumentally special that few other communities or organizations can claim. Ponychan is a very special place. Quite possibly one of the handful few Internet communities that displays unconditional love towards one another. We do not know each other in real life, yet we care for each other and sincerely worry for each other's well-being. Thank you for coming to us, cheese. If you ever need help, or even just feel like talking, do not hesitate for one second to talk to us. It is a very healing experience. In closing, I think I will quote some more song lyrics that I think are very appropriate for this situation.

"Everypony, everypony will listen
Even if it hurts sometimes
If you will, come and hear the message
Everypony wants to learn to love again
Open up and come alive
If you will, can you hear my message?
Leave your pain on the bedroom floor again
Bring a smile to survive
And do you think that you have that in you
If you're here and you're all alone tonight
Then I'll give you a free ride
Take a chance 'cause I know you want to.

I've got a lotta, whole hell of a lot to say
Even if it hurts sometimes
And if you will come and hear the message
And everypony, everypony will hope and pray
That the best will sure survive
And if it's true then you'll feel the message
A perfect life for a perfect brand new day
And you're the next in line
And do you think that you have it in you?
So if you're here and you're curious tonight
Then I'll give you a free ride
Take a chance 'cause I know you want to."

"Valkyrie Missile" -Angels and Airwaves



We love you, cheese. Never forget that. :)

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487021

My heart was getting a little cold without those ponies. Thanks to you all you've thawed it, reminding me of the first time I watched season one. In fact I'm gonna rewatch it, but that's beside the point. You guys are all epic, never stop. I can't believe I'm squealing over this.

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487022

File: 130676286566.png (165.59 KB, 311x310, Snake_salute.png)

I know I'm kinda late...

But don't just throw life away like that, it's all you get. I know, it's a sucky little gift, but hey, a gift is a gift!
We all go through depressions, and make mistakes. It's normal.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake.
Yeah, I know, I'm quoting that silly song from Portal, but for some reason that line always gives me hope. I'm kinda semi-failing school right now, but I won't give up because of some little mistake. And it's quite a while 'till I run out of cake.

So hang in there.

Galthux!LdDgPiYwwgCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487024

I know it's kinda late, being as everything has already happened and this thread is probably buried deep within /Arch/ by now, I thought I would post this music, which has been super good for me to help get over life sucking :D

http://youtu.be/-ylf1hpOt7E

MatiasCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487025

File: 130677066323.png (113.85 KB, 385x385, 130307122990.png)

Wow, you replied to every post? What a champ.

merriweather!5tPgTbun3sCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487028

File: 130677145944.png (103.04 KB, 800x595, 130090183262.png)

>>2487025
Isnt he ???

I am amazed about how awesome you are Cheese. Everypony keeps telling me but compared to you i am just a little light in a storm while you are a Sun.

Hold onto life my dear Friend, and never ever think only one second that you might not be welcome here cause you are always.

My Respect, Love and Friendship ... you have earned it (well you had it to begin with but ... wow)

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487032

>>2487028
Seconded to death. :D

Italo!PeachI1QKkCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2487982

I love this...
I love everypony here.

Cheese, if you still want to, we can talk in private. But somepony is crossing the same road you crossed:

>>/oat/35538250

Dear Princess Celestia Twilight SparkleCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2510812

File: 131880003263.jpg (6.86 KB, 223x160, images.jpg)

Today I learned that because you've lost somepony you loved most dearly doesn't mean you can't recover. No matter how you choose to live, you'll always have challenges to overcome, and there is no reason you shouldn't try your hardest to overcome each and every last one of them.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

Awesomesauce. Midnight Crackle(Mentlegen of the Internet/The Imageless Wonder)!8TMaRaElxMCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2510836

I hereby declare that this thread and everypony who posted a helpful thought in it are awesome. Cheese is now awesomer than before, and is now reaching the level of epic. You overcame your thoughts and are still alive, thankfully, and shall revel in Ponychan history.

This thread is a perfect example of why I love this community. And thank you all for brightening my day by being awesome.

Cheers,

Midnight.

ABQBronyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2510837

If you don't mink me asking, what was your mother pushing on you so drastically?

MiseryBorn.Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2510855

my dear cheese.
i cant tell you what to do. or how to deal with this. but i have some experience in the same matter and i know what i did. and i came out pretty good with it.

my mother hates me: because i did not become the man she wanted me to be. she actually said she didnt care about my future anymore.

My father rejects me: he left my mother when i was 1 year old due to the fact that there was no love for me in his heart. when ever i see him wich is quite often. and it is only random, he doesnt even talk or look at me.

My grandparents: recent me due to theyre belief i ruined my mother and fathers lives.

and the list goes on, and yes i cried and i hated myself and life as we know it, but at the end i learned something.

there is no love without hate. there is no good without evil. there is no happiness without sorrow.
basically life is shit and it always will be.

the thing i realized i had to do, was to play a game with them all. i knew they hated me. so i began hating them, but i didnt show it.
instead i played the happy son who loved his family and would do anything for them, and so i did.

to begin with they didnt respond well to my sudden change of personality, but after some weeks they grew accustomed to it.

for 5 years i played this role, for 5 fucking hard fucked up years i had to do everything i hate for the people that resented me.

and then came the day when i moved out from my mothers. i was 18 at that time.
it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, no more playing what they wanted me to be, no more trying to be somepony i wasnt and NO more Family!!!

yes it is harsh when you abandon all the people that should have been there for you, and you should always have been there for them. but when they break the bond. and they are not willing to recreate it, then fuck em.

they are not worth it and if they arent willing to try to get back to how it should have been, then they never will be worth your time either.

this is a long post about hate, anger, misery and sorrow. but humans are designed to suffer. we have created a world where certain few have to have a crappy life for others to succeed.
there is no exceptions for this rule. everypony has days where it suck to be them, and for some its worse than others.

but there is one thing you can do about the loss of family, and loved ones. i have 3 friends. only 3. but they are the best friends i could wish for, and i would sacrifice myself for everypony of them, they are more worth than my mother would ever be.

My dear Cheese. i hope you will be able to get your life back on track, i know its hard, and it sucks so fucking bad, but keep moving brony.

we care. and we want you to get to the end of your story, as i will se mine through as well

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2511709

Wow. I just read this on /arch/, and I can't even begin to describe just how touching this story is. I'm glad things seem to be working out for the better for Cheese, and I am just in awe at the sheer amount of love everypony has demonstrated in this thread. It's things like this that make me proud to be part of this fandom. Stay strong, Cheese.

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2512662

Truly, a heartwarming story, Cheese. A prime example that there is still some good in the human race.

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2512999

Don't worry cheese

We all love you.

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513622

File: 132924915021.jpg (29.48 KB, 577x347, MLP_Bronies_Will_catch_you.jpg)

It took me several hours to go through this whole thread. I can't express enough how much I love this community for its creativity, guts and overall friendliness that engulfs us all. Seeing complete strangers reach out their hands/hooves in a form of kind words and advice, you can help but feel proud.
This community has changed lives for the better and now it has saved one.

STOP!!! AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513623

>>2486711
I have a similar problem (although i doubt mine is as bad as your's), my mom is always yelling at me every chance she gets and school got me really depressed in the beginning of the year to the point that I was was close to becoming an emo, but i just went with it. I quickly was able to make a new friend and that same friend got me into being a brony (although it took like 4 months). Trust me, if you hit a big ditch in life, the climb back up is slow, but you'll always come out higher than before.

STOP!!! AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513624

>>2486711
I have a similar problem (although i doubt mine is as bad as your's), my mom is always yelling at me every chance she gets and school got me really depressed in the beginning of the year to the point that I was was close to becoming an emo, but i just went with it. I quickly was able to make a new friend and that same friend got me into being a brony (although it took like 4 months). Trust me, if you hit a big ditch in life, the climb back up is slow, but you'll always come out higher than before.

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513635

So I scrolled down and found out you all really helped this poor guy.

Hey, guys.

I FUCKING LOVE YOU. ALL OF YOU.

And OP: It gets better. Don't worry. It always does.

Pony LoverCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513710

Hey cheese, Im a person who experienced just what you have and i have thought of SUCIDE. I felt my mother didnt understand me she said it was my imagination but i dont believe that and still dont today.Plus I also felt paim from so much people in my life. And believe me i was just like you, had friends but there not anymore I thought they hated me but now I tell myself SCREW them and today i have made new friends but feel has if they think im boring but ther pretty nice. At school people bully me but thanks to my little pony friendship is magic taught me those comments go in one ear and out the other. So your not alone stay strong. Why dont we talk some more some time kay?

BloomfieldCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513723

>>2486711

Hey cheese!, quite new to ponychan but took the time to read the thread and I just want to show my support. Suicide may seem a viable and tempting option, but it throws so much away. Some things in life are hard and bad, but everything isn't and it's those things it's worth living for, my friend! I talk partly out of own experience, recognice some of the feelings you describe and I also had thoughts about suicide. Also out of own experience: Just be you and be proud of who you are, and things will get better, I promise! Don't know if this will help you, but at least wanted to try!

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513803

My faith in humanity has been restored.

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513829

Anonymous I love you.

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2513831

File: 133333504387.jpg (84.94 KB, 648x838, hugs.jpg)

have a hug

dthomashCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516591

>>2486711

Alone by Edgar Allen Poe:

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then-in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life-was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
[/poem]

This poem pretty much sums up how I felt at my lowest point. But I would like to point out a line: "From every depth of GOOD and ILL" Life has its ups and downs.
Sometimes it flat out just tries to steamroll you over, but at other times it can be so beautiful, it just makes you cry tears of unexplainable joy. This thread is kind of old, but if your still going through problems, just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep searching and you'll eventually find it. The fact that a show like My Little Pony even exists is proof that there is good in the world.

?????§±??? (Element of Peter Davison)Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516923

Wow.

Turns out I know cheese from another site. He seems to be doing much better now.

Foohorb, all of you. Evissam foohorb.

there is an end to this long, long tunnel JeremyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516925

>>2486711
I know exactly how you feel, I myself, when in highschool, seriously contemplated suicide and came to a similar decision not to inflict my death on others. Please keep hope alive in your heart because things will eventually get better. I am now 35 and while I struggle with depression and occasionally feel life is too tough to keep trying, I now have plenty of reason to live.
The best thing for you to do is to keep trying to make friends (be prepared for much heartbreak before you find friends worthy of you, but it will be fully worth it when you do)
I hope this next part doesn't come off too preachy, but It's too important to leave out.
Jesus is the one who preserved me through the worst times and He can do the same for you. if you are of a skeptical bent like I am, you will find much proof for His existence in Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ" and Josh McDowell's "Evidence that Demands a Verdict"
I wish you the peace and strength that He gave me

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516938

If there was ever any proof that this fandom is more than just a bunch of men watching a children show, then this is it.

Everypony here has been so kind and caring. It has restored my faith in humanity. :)

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516939

watch mlp.. the all your life probs are solved

Country code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516940

also may i add that it will get better. for now make good freinds and check for replys here i know every pony here is kind and (no homo) loving just think positivity and no about well you know what

JeremyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516941

>>2486739
Please don't talk about how good we have it when we bare our emotions before you. As somepony who has been through deep despair and come out the other side (mostly) AND recognizes the truth of your statement, please know that when we're in the lowest part of our life, we have no emotional strength left for holding statements at arms length and every little bit of criticism is like getting kicked in the teeth.
we don't need to know that we have it better than others, we need to know that we are not alone in our pain and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't an oncoming train. Go ahead and share your story, but do it to give us hope, especially because our tolerance of pain is different and what you can bear my not be bearable by others

CHEESE, I hope you're still watching this thread, because I can tell you I also didn't believe it could ever get better.
There was much in my life that hurt me horribly and I don't remember a time from my earliest memory to my attempt at going to college where I wasn't depressed.
The worst time was in Highschool while I was over my mother's house for the weekend and my father called to tell me that he was changing the locks on the doors and my stepmother was packing up my clothes "for me". All I could believe was that I was being kicked out of my home.
I am now 35 and have been happily married for 13 years and am SO GLAD I chose not to kill myself. (yes, it was a long and hard decision that I thought about constantly)
I can PROMISE you that the best is yet to come and if you stick with it, you WILL have a happy life. All you need to do (and yes, I know this will be hard) is keep searching for friends that you can talk to face to face and bare your soul to. This will take a long time and you will get hurt many many times, but when you find that friend, it will be worth it (and, no, the friend I found was not my wife, spouses usually can't meet this need)
I do sometimes have mild relapses, but I can now recognize that it is a passing thing and can seek out friends to bear me up

Watch Ponies BronyGuyCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516952

File: 134352066647.jpg (24.92 KB, 422x428, WELL+where+to+begin+First+off+…)

There are always other options

AnonymousCountry code: ponychan.png, country type: customflag, valid: 2516954

Dude, i know where ur at. U feel like the reason u r the reason ur life sucks , but wait your everything can change, in a moments time.just pray, call suicide hotline or aa they can really help. Your not alone my friend.Rob~


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