Mfw typing this up
I have something to say that has been bugging me since it happened. I'm posting this because I can't think of anywhere else to post it. I need to tell someone, and since I have no one but you guys, I'm posting this here. Yes there are ponies, and no there is no tl:dr.
so here is some back story on my life.
I had an abusive stepfather. there are many memories from watching him get drunk to beating me, to beating my mother, and a lot of other fucked up shit he did. We were constantly moving around, never staying in one place for long so there was no way I could make friends. This lasted since I was born for 8-9 years. I remember this one time, I was 6-7 and I was cowering in the corner of the basement, looking up, watching him beat my mom because she got in the way to stop him from beating me. I can never get this out of my head, and every once in a while I get a flashback of it and others randomly.
It has been 12 years since I’ve seen this him. 4 months ago He found one of my siblings FB accounts, and he wanted to see us. Skipping a lot of details, They all went, and my mom even forgave him. I stayed home wondering why they would even bother trying to forgive him. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He wanted to see us again, especially me. He was begging practically, asking for forgiveness for what he's done and such. Only me, my bro, mom, and new stepdad went, to meet him at a restaurant. I thought with all the support with me I'd be able to handle the encounter better. I took my headphones, I decided for some reason to take the rainbow dash toy from mcdonalds with me, and kept her in my pocket.
We arrive at the restaurant and get out when I find out that only me and my brother are going in, and mom and stepdad were going across the street to wait for me. All the confidence I had built up suddenly disappeared. I felt like rainbow dash before the young flyer competition. I must have made this apparent on my face even though I tried to hide it, because my mom tells me that it isn't too late to go back. I reached for my pocket and held onto rainbow dash. I say fuck it, we're already here in as normal a tone as possible but in my mind I'm terrified. We enter the restaurant, turned the corner and there he is sitting at the table.
He saw us, turns around spots us, gets up and