I did a few stanzas myself, so I can relate.
You often sound nervous, out of breath, with a voice coming from throat to lungs, not from lungs to stomache. Practice and getting into a comfort singing zone, or recording when you are naturally in that zone will make it better.Or take a notch down in speed for starters.
Resonates with the music, well the idea of the execution I got, well enough for me. And I say, after a hasty beginning with some rhythm issues it got really better over the first minute once you got into a pattern.
What you'll of course need and I can recommend is something where you don't have to do one-takes, the more often you recite and hear yourself, the more chance to improve.
That's how I now even know a piece I wrote myself by heart, something I never did by just coming up and writing down.
if that is what comes about after few days, good job, keep at it.
What do you mean "learned it" a few days ago? Have you not been listening to music with rap and rapped along before?