Greetings my colleagues, and anyone else who may read this. I am not going to pretend that I am a staple of this site, or known to a great number of those who frequent it. I have festered here for a long while without posting. Simply observing the Board for any interesting activity. I do not know why I decided to post this, but my hands strayed to the keyboard and my mind idly wondered why I have Ponychan featured prominently in my bookmarks.
I am Doctor Whooves. I began my tenure here while /oat/ was still supportive of random RP threads and the fanciful stories which they spawned. I was drawn to this fertile environment and wanted desperately to become a part of it. So I took my first tentative steps into /oat/ and Ponychan as a whole. I slowly developed my influence and recognition among the board and chose the good Doctor as my avatar. The community here was beautiful and I felt thrilled to be a part of it, to have a hand in shaping the landscape of it. Soon though roleplay on Oat was outlawed so that it could remain on topic for more than a single post. The decision, while not inherently bad, took away some of the manic energy that drove /oat/ along. However I was accepted into a group called AOS for my apparent talent at playing Whooves.
AOS was vibrant, filled with strange persons sharing experience together and struggling to create a cohesive, meaningful story. I played with them constantly, throwing myself into the stories and interaction with vivacity. The storylines may have made little sense, have been badly written, or were flawed in any number of ways, yet that was trumped by the simple joy each one of us put into our writing. The joy began to evaporate, and with it gone every flaw we had was thrown into stark relief. We bickered among ourselves and tore each other’s self-confidence away. Gradually I stopped putting effort into my posts, simply scribbling onto a page and damn anyone who criticizes it. Bitterness tainted my words and I closed my eyes to the problems around me. I left.
I was invited to join a branch of AOS called Orion and I thought that this time I could make better choices and that I would never let this strand of hope die. I tried, I tried, I t