I responded to nearly all of the ideas in the queue in the previous thread. If you've submitted an idea, go and check the previous thread and see if you got responded to.

Incidentally, one of the ideas that hasn't gotten any love is one of mine:
>>96333
>>96607

Neglected ideas from the previous thread: >>91908 >>96192 >>96607 (last time I'm posting them; now it's this thread)

"Queue" (list of ideas/inquiries that haven't gotten feedback, just to make them easier to find) http://bit.ly/I2VsAE
Been waiting for feedback on an idea? Can't find it in the list? Put it in yourself using the form (http://bit.ly/HPf2hS) so it's easier to find.
bit.ly'd because Kusaba-X's URL parser is retarded in that it takes effect after linebreaks are calculated.

Never got past the summary because i cant write fiction so...

There are many wild places in equestria, which contain untold wonders, and untold dangers. There are also ponies whose special talent is to navigate these places and bring back the unique items found within.

>>97129

Daring Do.

Not sure where I'd ask this, but might as well...

I've had a story planned for a while, a story about Celestia taking on the form of a normal unicorn to be able to experience Canterlot without everypony getting uptight and nervous around her. The "swerve" would be that the form she takes is actually Fleur De Lis, and the story would go into both the consequences of her having fun in Canterlot, as well as the details behind meeting and becoming friends with Fancy Pants.

Well, I just discovered that a story very smilier to this already exists, and has existed for quite some time. In fact, it's a fairly popular story called "Sunny Skies All Day Long".

I'm just wondering...if I eventually do write this story, would it just be considered a ripoff of that story? Is it something where, since the general plots are so similar, people would dismiss it, and I should move on to one of the other stories I have? Or do you think people would still be interested in it, since my story would skew more in terms of her keeping the disguise up as things happen, less wacky comedy than Sunny Skies All Day Long, and would be multiple chapters instead of just a one-off?

Any advice would be great here.

>>97128

You forgot >>97005 as another neglected :(

>>97141

Well, that's not really a question.

Are you asking for someone to write a fic like that, or are you asking for ideas for such a fic?

This thread is primarily for the latter.

Also, read >>97128 carefully.

>>97141
That's because the post began with a link. I and I glossed over it as if it were a response to something that wasn't a story idea because the post link number didn't match any idea posts in the thread. I dunno. Thread moves almost as fast as TTG, I have less time on my hands nowadays, and I'm currently the only one keeping track of it, so it has to be quick, easy and brain-free (I mean, just look at some of the inane summaries I wrote in the spreadsheet for story ideas; I cannot brain to save my life).

Also, yeah. Not much to go by. I'd put it in as a request, but it seems a few posts in the thread are enough to draw attention to it from someone who might be interested in fleshing it out into a full-blown origin story.

It's Faustmare from the End of Ponies fanon regarding Ponyville's origin.

>>97115
First off, the reason part three is so confusing is that it's a lot more dense than the other two parts. There's a lot of subplots and a lot of additional characters, as well as the fact that I didn't bother to write the full resolution.

To address concerns:
>Also, it sounds like even one or two pegasi massively tip the balance one way or the other in at least one battle. This doesn't seem realistic to me--even with guns, they're only one or two extra soldiers. They only way I could see them having a significant effect on the battle is if they use their "razor wings" (seen in "The Secret of My Excess") on the enemy soldiers, which might get....messy.

First off, razor wings are dumb. So incredibly dumb. Want to break a wing? Slam into an object at over a hundred miles and hour!

Remember how planes were used in World War I? They were essentially the best spy a field officer could have. One quick flight over the enemy lines and you could know almost everything about their encampments, numbers, and heirarchy. Pegasus work the same way. Without a pegasus, a commander relies on the reports of the officers, which are relayed by messengers. He has to pull together a vision of the entire battlefront based on the reports of the officers.

A pegasus simplifies the matter and makes the reports almost instantaneous by comparison. The commander gets one report of the entire battlefront, as well as what the enemy is planning, what reinforcements may be coming, and whether orders are being followed. To say that this could make a commander ten times as effective would be an understatement.

Not only that, but pegasus can manipulate weather. Cannons aren't very useful if they can't be forded across a flooded river, or are mired in a swamplike terrain. Crops would be at the mercy of Cloudsdale's whims. (Which is the reason there's a drought in Indiana at the beginning of the story.)

>..then, parts 2 and 3. Part 2 seemed to lose focus a bit--I was confused by a lot of your plot. Also, it was very...convenient...that Cloudsdale happened to be wherever the action was. That part seemed rather artifical, as well. Finally, it felt like Boson was supposed to be a stand-in for another prominent historical figure, but I couldn't figure out who. that feels like bad writing to me.

Boson is not a significant historical figure.

As for Cloudsdale, it would split into West and East due to the sudden explosion in population caused by industrialization, as well as the invention of the propeller. West (American) Cloudsdale would remain the semi-biggish city it was before the industrial revolution. Eastern Cloudsdale would fly over the various countries, until internal tension forced it into international waters. As for why the Baltic? Because Russia wasn't storing massive artillery batteries nearby.

>Part 3, felt like almost complete nonsense--Logos, Ethos, Pathos? Really? Why not Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

A) Symbolic importance.

Logos = Science
Pathos = Culture
Ethos = Military

They're the three different types of superiority needed to win total warfare.

B) They were named after the Canons of rhetoric because they represented the changing times after WWII. Wars between major powers would result in the end of the world. Rhetoric became much more important.

>Luna and Celestia are artifical ponies bred by the Soviets?

This is elaborated further in the actual chapter. It was a joint US-Soviet project, desperately designed by the U.N. to keep peace between the two.

>Members of the main cast (Derpy, Vinyl Scratch) are present in the sixties?

I should probably have mentioned this in the brief. At the very very end, it's stated that Celestia goes beserk with her powers during a global magonuclear war. There were large amounts of ambient magic present, which alters magic the same way radiant electricity alters electronics. Celestia was trying to kill them but inadvertently sent them over a thousand years into the future. Their memories are scrambled by the radiant magic.

>Why haven't we seen blown-up buildings or anything then?

Real buildings collapse in less than twenty years without being taken care of. It's likely that the subsequent Soviet invasion of America furthered this process.

>Also, the transition between Earth and Equestria was a little fuzzy--Celestia launches nukes. Suddenly, Equestria.

I'll go ahead and write a full history of the change.

>Finally, I'm not sure if I'm digging the whole Ponies on Earth thing.

It's not Ponies on Earth. It's Equestria is Earth.

>If there are flying, magical ponies on earth, why does the Civil War play out almost identically to the way it did in history?

Cloudsdale held the world's population of pegasus.

Magic only allows for telekinesis. Offensive magic is inefficient. Ergo, cannons and other artillery.

Ponies are bigger. There's a higher casualty proportion and a smaller wounded proportion. This is accounted for.

In fact, the only thing that would change is that pre-firearm warfare never changed from shield walls bashing into each other and that cavalry is more prevalent.

>Given the ponies' obsession with friendship, I would think they would prevent the war from happening in the first place: slavery isn't friendship, and I don't think they would tolerate it (besides, when Twilight can harvest nearly an entire apple orchard in seconds, is slavery even necessary?

They didn't have an obsession with friendship before Celestia created Equestria.

Do you really think that slaveowners would want to pay for that type of work? They'd just enslave unicorns (which they do).

>I would expect to see an alternate history, given all the cool things ponies can do.

There's two ceasefires in WWI. The battle of Gettysburg never happened. The Cold War turned hot. What do you mean by 'more of an alternat history'?

>>97146

>What do you mean by 'more of an alternate history'?

A more drastically altered history. In my mind, the presense of ponies would have a huge impact on history, and things would play out very differently. For example (shooting from the hip here), Cloudsdale becomes a major world power early on--after all, they control the weather, and, thus, transportation and crops, if nothing else. Human powers resent this influence, similarly to how kings resented the authority of the Catholic Church. As soon as they can, mankind tries to blow them out of the sky, thus sparking an international war.

Again, I'm just thinking off the top of my head here--but this is an attempt to figure out how ponies might affect history, if they were actually present. Your story feels to me like "History, but with Ponies"--an attempt to shoehorn ponies into modern history, without an attempt to actually integrate them into world events.

>Snap, Crackle, Pop
I understood the reference, but it just sounded...corny. Unless those are titles, I thought it was a little too convenient that three ponies with those names would be working together--It would be like if I had three ponies named "Earth", "Wind", and "Fire" form a soul band. Does that make sense?

>Enslaving unicorns
Slaveowners weren't inherently evil, and the purpose of slavery (at least initially) wasn't the slaves themselves--it was cheap labor. If a single unicorn can do the work of a hundred men in half the time for a tenth of the price, I, personally, would pay them their due and have them go on their way. That way, I wouldn't have to feed them, house them, or discipline them.

I apologize if this sounds confrontational: I'm just trying to call it as I see it. Once again, I feel your story has legs (especially part 1), but I see some big problems with your concept as you've explained it.

(Also, I had an idea after the last post. It sounds like the most powerful nuke technology are the C-Bombs, magically-powered nukes? Perhaps the detonation of so many C-Bombs is what changes the world--the high levels of magical exposure changes how the world works.)

>>97151
>In my mind, the presense of ponies would have a huge impact on history, and things would play out very differently. For example (shooting from the hip here), Cloudsdale becomes a major world power early on--after all, they control the weather, and, thus, transportation and crops, if nothing else.

There's one issue with this. If I did an alternate history that drastic, it would take much longer than 5,000 words to explain it, because people would assume X is the same as real history when X is really different and that's why Y happened which makes character Z do A. It would require a master writer to pull that off. And I am not a master writer.

>I understood the reference, but it just sounded...corny. Unless those are titles, I thought it was a little too convenient that three ponies with those names would be working together--It would be like if I had three ponies named "Earth", "Wind", and "Fire" form a soul band. Does that make sense?

They're all relatives.

>(Also, I had an idea after the last post. It sounds like the most powerful nuke technology are the C-Bombs, magically-powered nukes? Perhaps the detonation of so many C-Bombs is what changes the world--the high levels of magical exposure changes how the world works.)

Yep. That's why the remaining armies of the Soviets couldn't reach what would become Equestria: Discord and the D&D-esque creatures created by the exchange would kill any of them before they could get close. Essentially, these dangers caused the world to regress into a permanent middle-ages scenario. One that allows for the kind of isolated utopia that Equestria could exist in.

>>97142

Asking for someone to write a fic about it.

>>97168
Oh I'm sure it will happen sooner or later. To keep you occupied while you wait, I've got an idea: figure out exactly what you want to see in this fanfic.

You can start by first taking good look at that statue, and drawing as many conclusions, both those that are legitimate and those that are a stretch, about the pony it represents. Then, from those, think of a list of character attributes you believe could be ascribed to that pony.

Next, take a good look at Ponyville: its architecture, the city plan, the culture.

With those two in mind, it's an easy next step to start coming up with past historical events that lead to the birth of Ponyville. Don't pile all of them to the origin; the Statue of Liberty wasn't erected during the signing of the Declaration, after all. On the other hand, the statue doesn't have to be of the founder of Ponyville, unless it's canon that the statue actually is the founder of Ponyville (I dunno, I haven't been watching the second season as religiously as the first one, as enjoyable as it may be). Just think of the most subtle things that are most deeply ingrained into its culture / architecture, that ponies (and viewers) don't usually think about. Little quirky things. You'll get fanfic cred points for explaining tiny things and making a big deal out of subtleties. Come up with silly, wacky and over-the-top tall-tales and legends (they could be as short as five sentences) to explain them.

And then, you'll have a decent starting block for a story, if not a decent plan for one.

> usually posts with a Discord image, but couldn't resist using this one instead

>>97168
>Write my fic!
One day, a stonemason decided to made a statue for Ponyville gratis. It wasn't based on anything. Then they put it up. The end.
Now go away.
...
Please.

>>97178
Pretty much this.

A similar idea has already been made for the statues near Discord. A lot more potential in that anyways.

>>97132
is fiction as far as i can tell

>>97202

Whether or not she's fictional, Daring-Do is a dungeon diver--very similar to what you described. A dungeon-diving fic could use her as the main character and not lose a thing.

Also, related to the statue discussion: does anyone know of a fic about the "Victory" statue?

So, I had an idea for a quick one-shot that I'll try and knock out over the weekend.

Thing is, my ponies need guns. The best design I've seen for a pony-usable gun is in the pic--a shoulder-mounted weapon, with the trigger on a "bit" held in the mouth. I like this design, but it still seems really impractical--difficult to aim and reload. Any ideas for what a practical pony-gun would look like?


Also, a request. I'm losing my internet connection on Friday, and I'd like to get feedback on this ideas before I leave. If someone could answer this questions, as well as my earlier questions (>>96333 >>96607) in the very near future, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks everypony!

>>97305
I'm not very creative when it come to ponies and guns. The only thing I could think of would be a gun that uses a pedal as the trigger, but that gun would probably have to stay stationary. So I don't think that would be much help to you. Sorry. :/

Anyways, I've had an idea sort of stirring in my head for a while now. People are probably going to pass this up as another Dark story (and they'd be right), but I thought I'd share it and hear some feedback anyways.

Discord suddenly wakes up, finding himself in a dimly lit hallway, with no magic and only a lantern. (No, this is not an Amnesia crossover.) He runs across deranged and mutated versions of Celestia, Luna, and other ponies out to kill him. (Still not an Amnesia crossover.)

He eventually meets up with a bitter and sarcastic Pinkie Pie (now calling herself Pinkemina again) that helps him escape, and shows him the spread of the dark force that corrupted the Princesses. (And many more.)

But one of my biggest problems is figuring out what that dark force would be.

>>97332
Oh, and I should note, Discord is still acting like Discord. Making this a Dark/Comedy.

>>97305
as far as your weapon questions go, I suggest referencing Fallout Equestria for your needs, as it addresses not only stylistic matters, but usage of firearms for the different pony races as well.
Now, should you read it? Absolutely. Will you get it done by Friday? Not without crack. Actually, it's totally do-able
Check out the FOE wiki.

>>97332

Why has Discord suddenly woken up? That might be a good place to start trying to determine what the force is.

The first thing that came to mind is that the force is a thing that only Discord can fight--something like an extremely lawful force, that has imposed order on Equestria at the expense of free will.

>>97137
It's actually a fine idea, and you could totally do it. Make it a SEQUEL to Sunny Skies All Day Long. Use her experiences from that first episode King Henry 5-ing around Ponyville and build upon them with her new attempt to win respect from high-class citizens by her own merit.

A guardian-angel, episode-like fic, or a "you're more important than you think" fic (e.g. "The Why of Fry"), featuring Scootaloo. Scootaloo is down in the dumps with self-hate because of a mistake (or humiliation) and wishes she didn't exist. Her guardian angel shows up and gives her a look at what the world would be without her, and/or or a chance to save the world. This sort of thing been done at least once before in TV series, one of which I remember off the top of my head as being Rugrats (with Chuckie), and I'd love to see it in Pony. Here are a few points I think could be used:

- Without Scootaloo to stand up to Spoon and Tiara when they made fun of Applebloom, CMC's were never formed, and Applebloom leans on her big sister for confidence and help, becoming more clingy, antisocial and immature instead of gaining confidence through friends.
- Without Scootaloo, Sweetie Bell gets bored to tears and causes Rarity far more messes, trouble and headaches, and Rarity's business doesn't do as well because she's preoccupied with keeping an eye on her sister
- Without Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash is twice as reckless and rude, because she doesn't have anyone for whom to be a role model.
- Without Scootaloo, the bullies and gossip-girls of the school are far more emboldened to pick on blank flanks.
- Without Scootaloo, Spike isn't nearly as inspired to try new things. He secretly wanted to outclass her in seizing the day, which is why he told her about ziplining -- to make her feel like she hadn't lived yet.

I'm wondering what else could be used here. As for The Why of Scootaloo, it's gonna take lots and lots of absurdity. That I wish I could do well. Every time I try to be absurd I end up with world building ideas (i.e. Bloomberg & Little Strongheart shipping: >>57444 Rainbow Dash & coffee table shipping: >>51689). Giant genocidal brains and mass extinctions notwithstanding, I can't think of how to possibly make Scoots an ironic enigma; there's not much odd about her, besides being your run-of-the-mill tomboy filly pegasus who can't fly yet

>>97474

I'm sorry but it is impossible for me to read this and not think of the brutal subversion they pulled of this trope in Fairly Odd Parents.

>>97474

The first thing I thought of while reading this was "It's a Wonderful Life." In that film, we see the life of protagonist George Bailey, through the eyes of his guardian angel. When George contemplates suicide, his guardian angel appears and they talk about things; George complains that everyone would be better off without him. The angel allows him the chance to see just that: what life would be like in his hometown if he was never born. We're shown how certain key events are different because George wasn't there to participate--for example, he wasn't present to keep his younger brother from drowning, who, in turn, wasn't present to stop a kamikaze pilot from destroying a troop transport in WWII. If you haven't seen it already, look it up; it's one of my favorites. It's also the genesis of all these "Guardian Angel" stories you mentioned.

<ThinkingOutLoud>
So, if we want to follow the "It's a Wonderful Life" model, we need to see what Scootaloo does, and how things might be different if she didn't do them. Let's look at the wiki...

-Makes an (Accidental) appearance with the other CMC in Episode 1; they're all cowering under a table together
-Stands up for Applebloom at Diamond Tiara's Cutecenera(sp?).
- In "The Stare Master," The CMC break Fluttershy's table, then sneak out of the house to rescue the chickens. Did Scootaloo suggest either of these activities?
-She pulls the wagon with the supplies in "The Show Stoppers"; she also writes the song.
-She gets the others to go ziplining in "The Cutie Mark Chronicles"; it's due to her encouragement they go looking for the stories of the mane 6's cutie marks.
-Scootaloo hero-worships RD in "Owl's Well..."
-The CMC release Discord in the Season 2 opener.
-Scootaloo, with the other CMC, initially refuses, then fights over, Smarty Pants in "Lesson Zero."
-Scootaloo, dressed as a werewolf, goes trick-or-treating with Pinkie Pie in "Luna Eclipsed."
-Scootaloo goes bowling in "The Cutie Pox," which led to AB's depression about her cutie mark.
-Scootaloo is president (and presumably founder) of RD's fanclub in MMDW.
-Spike tries to steal her scooter in "Secret of My Excess."
-in "Family Appreciation Day," she encourages/enables Applebloom's attempts to deceive Cheerilee.
-Her tongue is stuck to the 8' candy cane in Hearth's Warming Eve.
-She provides encouragement (and the pegasus feather) to make the Love Poison in "Hearts and Hooves Day"; helps stall Cheerilee when they're trying to cure them.
-Jumps rope with Pinkie in "A Friend in Deed."
-With the other CMC, helps clean up a sidewalk in "It's About Time."
-Helps run the gossip column in "Ponyville Confidential."
-She also appears in part 1 and 2 of the season 2 finale.

So, if Scootaloo isn't around, how does that affect these incidents?

I'll pick the low-hanging fruit...

-If the CMC didn't release Discord, perhaps he broke out on his own, now much more powerful, at a later date (the spell WAS weakening, after all).

-In my headcanon/fanboy fantasy, Cheerilee and Big Mac end up together after the events of Hearts and Hooves Day--they go on the picnic at the end to spite the CMC, but end up really enjoying themselves. In an ironic twist, perhaps Ponyville is full of starving, ignorant ponies without Scootaloo--without the events of H&H, Cheerilee and Big Mac don't think there's anyone for them to love, and have lost interest in their respective jobs.

-Rainbow Dash's fanclub is never formed. Perhaps RD's less inclined to rescue ponies in MMDW, leading to the accidental deaths of dozens of ponies? Maybe Twilight isn't around to fix the dam?

-Bit of a stretch, but...Scootaloo encourages the CMC to hear Rainbow's cutie mark story, which leads to them getting the stories of the mane 6, which, in turn, leads to the realization of the "special connection" they all have. Without Scootaloo, perhaps they never realized their connection, which would make it easier for them to "break up"; perhaps in the Scootaloo-free present day, none of the Mane 6 are speaking to each other anymore (Could also lead to chaos reigning--without their friendship, the Elements won't work)?

Just some thoughts. I hope that helps.

Now, what exactly did you mean by "an ironic enigma?" I don't feel my post answered that question.

>>97509
Goodness gracious that is a lot of helpful commentary for such a small trope-based idea. Thank you kindly, and, saved.

>>97527

You're very welcome. I enjoy analyzing canon like that.

Also, I'm procrastinating studying for a final. So there's that. :)

>>97439
Hm... extremely lawful you say? I hadn't considered that. Thanks for the advice! I think it's about time I started my first draft.

If anyone has any further critiques or criticism I'd be happy to read them. :)

>>97305
That's what I typically use. If you make the harness loose enough to swing forward, reloading becomes easier as well (aside from using automatic reloading). Ultimately, it depends on what guns you're planning on using. An 1800s rifle reloads differently than a contemporary assault rifle which reloads differently than a belt-fed weapon.

>>97305

We're already working with suspension of disbelief here, and frankly there are people out there who would accept guns held by hoofhands.

I don't do hoofhands, so I've done some thinking on the same subject and here's what I came up with.

If technology is sufficiently advanced, saddle-guns like that -could- be aimed, reloaded, and fired very easily with a smartlink and an augmented-reality display. Shadowrun style!

In a similar vein, a pony could have a "skul-gun."

I once saw an FO:E themed picture where one of the ponies had a rigid metal piece connected the gun to the bit. This is all kinds of wrong.

Pegasi have all four hooves free, so they could put their hooves in stirrups and fire guns that rest on their backs like the big shoulder-gun in the pic. This would be a lot more efficient than anything an earth pony could use. They would also have a forehoof free to reload with, or they could just go full badass dual-wielding.

Pegasi could also be harnessed into huge death-dealing machines that they operate with buttons and switches.

An earth pony who just needs a weapon for self defense could use a wrist-gun. This wouldn't see much military use because you'd have to brace yourself in a three-pointed stance to use it.

>>97588

FWIW, the concept I'm working with is as follows:

The main character uses an assault rifle attached to a harness. The gun is mounted on the right shoulder, with extra clips on the left. The clip is positioned so she can pull it out and reload a new one fairly easily. Aiming is tricky, but she's had enough practice to where she's gotten to be a pretty good shot.

>>97593

Like I said, suspension of disbelief-- sure, a pony could learn to be accurate with practice, and given that there aren't much by way of alternatives, sure that design would become the popular one.

I've done a fair bit of thought about pony technology and I haven't gotten very far. We're swerving into the realm of slightly "harder" world-building here, so perhaps best to abandon it.

Short answer, yeah, you're fine.

I'm looking for someone who is able/willing to hear out this fic idea that I've mostly mapped out (I have yet to actually write out the enitre plot in detail and flesh out the middle sections) and A) give feedback on the fic's premise and overall storyline and B) suggest a few ideas to help fill in some gaps in narrative.

In a nutshell: All is well in Equestria--- there have been no friendship problems amongst the Mane Cast, no jerks or idiots have come around to muck things up in Ponyville, and life is running smoothly in all. The peace is, (predictably) disrupted, however, when somepony (or something) manages to steal all documentation on the Mane Six. Things only get worse when Twilight goes missing and when strange mechanical beings begin start getting sighted across Ponyville.

Ultimately, to make a LONG story short, the Mane Cast take down their latest and greatest enemy and accidentally come dangerously close to killing him as he tries to get away. Thankfully, Terra, our villain of this piece, is revived and then detained. Following a surprisingly civil interrogation session, Celestia decides to give the latest (former) threat to Equestria the light prison sentence of living in Twilight's basement until further notice.


I would LIKE to say that's all there is but that barely covers the first of four story arcs. Even then, I've barely scratched the surface of what's going on with that summary.

>>97719
As per usual, my gmail (gchat is much preferred) address is available for anyone wanting someone to "hear out" a story idea.

>>97721
I may one day take you up on that offer. Just to let you know, since it's the second or third time I've seen it. Saged for irrelevancy

>>97735
Good.

I can't review. I can barely write. If I were unable to give (admittedly imperfect) advice to people who needed it, I'd be a complete leech on this community.

And not saged, because saging things on the front page is detrimental to the health of this board.

>>97739
> I can't review. I can barely write.
You're not being serious. You're joking, right?

Well, now I know how you feel when I ooze this sort of nonsense and you're within earshot (or on the receiving end of it). Is that why you did this?

One fic I'd really like to see is an "Old Celestia" story. Celestia has been around for a long, long time. She has watched all her friends grow old and die; that HAS to take its toll on a person, even a God-Queen. The only person she can kind-of relate to is Luna, but Luna has been gone for so long she's completely out of touch, and Celestia feels lonelier than ever.

So, what happens now? Does Celestia want to retire? Write her memoirs? Maybe die herself? Or does she just keep everything bottled up, only letting it out in moments of weakness?

I think this would be a fascinating look at who Celestia IS under that crown. Unfortunately, I have several other projects occupying my time. If someone wants it, they can take it.

(related to that "Always Faithful" comic that posted to EqD a few days ago, where Celestia visits Twilight on her deathbed)

>>97891

Seconds after I posted, I had some good ideas for this. That always happens...

Perhaps Celestia's duties are more than just sun-raising. Perhaps she also keeps order--keeps monsters caged (in Tartarus), keeps the weather calm, etc. At the beginning of Season 2, Celestia was looking forward to "retirement" (whatever that entails) when Discord broke out. That incident shook her up: she realizes she's become complacent and let her guard down. That scares her to where she puts aside all thoughts of "retirement" until Twilight dies.

Twilight is the first mortal she's really connected with in hundreds of years, something she'd promised herself she'd never do again. When Twilight dies of old age, it breaks Celestia, and, crying, she tells her story to Luna or an OC.

(I feel this kind of thing might have been done before, BTW--if it has, could someone send me a link?)

(Related: >>96968)

I would like some advice on writing an OC Draconequus self-insert.

Hang on--don't hit your caps lock buttons just yet. I recognize that this kind of thing generally goes to crap, which is why I'm here.

I'm trying to do something like "Black and White," in which Octavia is a non-obvious self-insert--make the story about me, rather than have me in it.

Any tips for how to do so? Any pitfalls I should keep an eye out for?

>>97992
Don't make it a self insert.
No, really. Write about something, someone, anyone else.

If you must write about yourself *ugh* this might help:
http://doubleedgesword.deviantart.com/journal/How-To-Write-A-Decent-Self-Insert-Fic-214196907

Remember to write him as a character, and not as an avatar. If it's too easy for the insertion character, the only audience you're going to attract will probably be very shallow.

>>97992
You need conflict, like in any other story. Flaws are good, too. Making fun of yourself is pretty much essential.

Like when Vimbert wrote himself into the reviewer clopfic. It wasn't as much a self-insert as inserting... oh never mind. He deleted it anyway.

What do you plan for your SI to overcome?

>>98050

>What do you plan for your SI to overcome?

An identity crisis. He struggles with the issue of who he's supposed to be until late in the story; the epiphany that resolves his internal conflict allows him to resolve the overarching plot.

Vague, I know--I'm hesitant to reveal too many details, as I have a twist ending planned.

>>98050
Yes... beat up on your self-insert enough, and almost no one will call you on it.

I've pulled it off three times now in ponyfic. It's not hard, really.

*Yaaaaawn*fuuuuuu, shouldn't have let myself get sucked into reading EoP. The PP/Dredgemane arc started out slow, but damn did it turn gripping near the end. Three and a half hours of sleep.

Anyhow, in to drop off another idea and ask for feedback.

A side affect of Pinkie Sense is, on rare occasions, terrifying flashes of prescience that cover possible events in the further-distant future (which isn't set in stone). In one such flash, Mrs. Cake dies in a stroke and it leads to Sugarcube Corner burning down, and in this vision Pinkie Pie mentally goes through the list of things in the building she loves, values and cherishes, sorts them by priority (with Mr. and Mrs. Cake's foals first on the list) and dashes through the fire to save them.

Two seconds after entering the chronologically-compressed vision she snaps out of it, and her friends inquire. Intended as a sort of story about "how would you feel and react if your existence and those of the things/people you love were all threatened," and "are you afraid of the future?"

I know this may sound rather dangerous (and perhaps also masturbatory) but I really want to write this fic because occasionally such visions flash through my own mind in this exact way, and I intend to see how well I can express this through Pinkie Pie (also, making it part of her awesome superpower). Like, I'll be driving, and imagine intentionally driving off the road and killing someone (or myself) for no reason, or that I'll do something extremely rude/audacious. These sudden flashes make me cringe and bring me nothing but grief. At any rate, my question is: what precautions do you recommend I take, if any, when writing this? Or should I just dump my heart into it and see what sort of nefarious drivel it manages to spawn?

If I get to writing anything in the near future this will most likely be the first thing I write because it's short, and I've already gotten some of it done already (the initial fire). I originally intended it as a writing exercise / character exploration of Pinkie Pie that turned into an exasperated edit-fest, the frustration of which required the intervention of Samurai Jack to save me from.

>>98467
Dark or comedy?

Even with deliberately saving the twins first, every materialistic decision after that point just seems frivolous, or else you risk suggesting that foals and bags of sugar can be compared. Not to mention killing a character (in premonition only). But then again, if going for dark, you could have a "Gotta save the cupcakes first! Wait, no, the twins! Oh Celestia, what's wrong with me?" introspective moment. Darker still if she has to contemplate saving the twins vs. Mr. Cake, knowing she doesn't have time to save all of them.

If you're going for comedy, I'd say that the Cakes are all out on holiday. Pinkie is alone in Sugarcube Corner when she leaves a burner on and starts the fire. Now, she's only comparing frosting to cake tins.

I would be very interested to see someone write an alternate ending to the season finale where, rather a 'power of love' victory, instead Luna comes and just beats the living crap out of the changelings in a rather epic manner.
> Maybe not a good idea, but it would be so satisfying.

>>98509
Thanks, it's good to get a sense of how a given approach / tone for it might fall flat (or contain bad moves / OOC moments). I'll be revisiting your comments when/if I get around to writing the story.

In one of the previous threads someone suggested a Paper Mario crossover in which some Nightmare Cultist kidnapped Princess Peach in order to use her power to free Nightmare Moon.

I feel like taking a shot at it.

What I need are some ideas for monsters, other than what has already been seen in the show and what has been seen in the games.

For example, Cat-a-pults. Giant cats that launch boulders with their tails.

Ideas for dungeons/bosses/characters would also be nice but I pretty much got that figured out. I really just need regular monsters.

I was thinking of writing a 'Luna adjusts to being back on Equestria' story. Only from Celestia's point of view, and what lengths she goes to out of love to make her sister happy again and comfortable with the Equestria of present times.

Errh, what do you think? I just wanted to show how much of a good pony Celestia is. She seems to be demonized the most out of all the characters.

>>98537
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_Dungeons_%26_Dragons_monsters

for monsters, or inspiration to make your own. Seriously, "Bluejays and redjays and pinkjays..." plus other such animals in Canterlot's garden, you've got a lot to work with if you so choose.

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/23561

And with that posted... Dammit, I need to take a break from this thread. I don't want people to think I'm making it my personal sounding board.

At any rate, list of un-discussed ideas is empty (hence why I should really vacate, since too much of it has been me). Put your ideas on the form (http://bit.ly/HPf2hS) to make them easier to find if you don't want to be missed by people wishing to give feedback. If you want to be able to edit the spreadsheet for keeping track of things (http://bit.ly/I2VsAE), just request using the share button.

I only have a summary of a segment that's going into a fic I have yet to even get close to starting, but I'd like to see what people think about it:

Human bodies have been appearing in the Everfree Forest. And by bodies, I mean corpses, with no pulse and either broken necks or shattered skulls, as if they've fallen out of the sky head-first. It's not a pleasant sight, and someone needs to do something about it before panic and chaos spreads across Equestria.

I am Gummy. I used to think that I was the only human in Equestria. To some extent, I still am. But for now, I will be that someone.

Or, replace Gummy with Derpy/Zecora/Twilight Sparkle.

five thousand years later...

At first, pony society tried to accept them. Love and tolerance, after all, and most ponies saw no reason why these strange in-betweens could not live among them. After all, few truly believed that powerful magic like the Conversion Bureau's could be without risks or side-effects. The unfortunate cases of the in-betweeners only confirmed these suspicions.

The day of their revolt will forever be known as the Night of Terror. The streets ran with blood as the in-betweeners lashed out with impossible, coordinated malice. It was the most violent incident Equestria would see for thousands of years. The only thing that saved pony society from meeting a bloody end at the hands of the in-betweeners was the efforts of then-queen Reverie nee Christina Dawn, who-- with her once-human failings-- decreed that the in-betweeners be banished to the Outlands, subject to immediate imprisonment if ever seen near a pony settlement.

Queen Reverie would never see another in-betweener in her lifetime, nor would Queen Nocturne after her, nor Queen Daybreak, or Queen Nightfall. Improbably, the in-betweeners seemed to be willing to abide by the terms of their exile.

In truth, of course, the in-betweeners were among them, watching. For thousands of years, dozens of generations, they watched. They watched as all their predecessors' hopes and dreams for friendship, harmony, and love came to full fruition. They watched science crumble without humans to tend it, and they watched its rebirth. They watched nations rot away to make way for Equestria.

They still keep relics from the old world enshrined in their dwellings: a television, a coffee machine, even a few long-defunct cars.

Each one of them is born with their mother whispering to them what they are: An in-betweener, an exile, a hated enemy of ponykind. In-between? They invariably ask their parents, and the answer is always "Between darkness and flame." The in-betweeners do not remember who they are or who they once were-- they know only hate, jealousy... and hunger.

>>98659
The Conversion Bureau angle is pushing it a bit, not to mention it requires a fair bit of backstory and automatically has the CB stigma attatched to it. I'd suggest just having them be a particularly aggressive subspecies of ponies from ages long-since passed.
Perhaps this is where the true horses have gone to?

>>98661

The idea started with "Why do they look like ponies when they could look like anything? They must identify themselves with ponies." The idea came out that they're failures, full of hate and jealousy.

I hate the Conversion Bureau if for no other reason than because a lot of the people who are into that actually think that the original Conversion Bureau fic wasn't complete shit. This is supposed to be a bit of a deconstruction. Also, it's a crazy idea, and people like crazy ideas sometimes maybe?

>>98663
Im with you on this one.

The original CB story by blaze was just fucking shit on a pillow bad. The only thing good that came out of that story was the setting.

I mean really, I am writing a fan fic for the CB anniversary that's me essentially going around killing other writers with ponyfication potions as to prevent Equestria for emerging in our world (with the help of Discord).

Here's the Link if you want: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/18821/TCB%3A-The-Greatest-Story-Never-Told

>>98680

Actually, I wanted my "in-betweeners" to be almost sympathetic. They are freaks, born into grotesque bodies by no fault of their own, raised in a culture of hate. Originally the in-betweeners probably took anthro forms to hold onto their humanity, or perhaps they were always pony-like, because of their doomed desire to be ponies after all.

They were in-betweeners in more than body. Most of them wanted to be ponies, but never felt like they really could be. The revolt was just a result of some bad apples spoiling the bunch.

Over time, they forgot their origins, just like the ponies themselves did, and knew only bitterness.

Fanon often says that Alicorns are the best parts of all three species of ponies. That gave me an idea:
Split Celestia or Luna into the three different pony species. Magical accident, villinaous trap, doesn't matter, just triple the fun and enjoy the schenanigans!
>I don't have a related photo, so instead, enjoy some dinosaur costumes

Hello everypony,
now that season 2 is over, I'd like to start writing fics. I already have 3 in mind, but I'd like to start small with a one-shot/slice of life. The pitch:

Fluttershy miraculously beats Rainbow Dash in a race. Humiliated by her defeat, Rainbow Dash feels unworthy of not only trying to be a stunt flyer/racer, but gives up flying period. She loses her adrenaline, and becomes a really boring pony (although Rarity doesn't seem to mind). But the others want the brave and cool Dash back. They try with multiple attempts to shock her back into "awesome" Dash, but no avail. So the others, and Scootaloo try for drastic measures. They fake Scootaloo being in danger, but their plan goes wrong and Scoot is in real danger. That's what puts Rainbow back to her old self and saves Scootaloo.

With that all said, I am able to start writing; except for ONE thing. How can I set up a scenario where a pegasus that barely flies (Fluttershy) beats Equestria's fastest (RD)in a race? If you can help me on that, I can write this thing.

>>98695
A story where Rarity and Fluttershy got bodyswapped had a good race where Rarity-shy beat Dash (and in doing so, got to make Dash get all prettied-up) by challanging her to a tight and technical race. Dash's main advantage is speed, so by forcing her to constantly turn, that advantage was quickly negated. You can also make it so Dash gives Fluttershy a head-start because she doesn't think she'll have a problem catching up.

>>98696
wait a minute. I just thought up of something brilliant. You know how you seem to run faster if you're running away from something you're afraid of? What if in the final stretch, Fluttershy thought she saw a dragon?

Also, I need a way for Fluttershy to accept this kind of challenge, knowing she would do badly in a race like this.

"Legend tells of an ancient artifact that can grant any mare's wish... the Skull Heart. However, if she is impure of heart, her wish will be corrupted and she will be turned into an immensely powerful, twisted being of destruction..."

"The Skull Heart has come to Equestria. Who will be the first to fall under its sway and become the first Skullmare?"

Yep, you guessed it: A Skullgirls crossover. It'll involve the main 6 plus two other characters that I'll keep a secret (and maybe some bonus characters for later). Each chapter will be a stand-alone story of each character seeking out the Skull Heart for one reason or another, though they won't be happening at the same time.

While I have a general idea how each of their stories will end, I just need to think up what they encounter between them starting the adventure and getting to the end. The journey as it were. Since this is based on a fighting I'd have to fill it with fights, but why not mix it up? What sort of things would each of the girls encounter that would be unique to them?

I've been working on the set-up/motivation for each of the characters to head out, so if you got questions, I'm willing to divulge further :)

>>98697
How about something like the 'One Two Three Go' moment from Bird in the Hoof? But Fluttershy is in the middle of something important and ignoring her entirely. Such as trying to follow a ferret through underbrush.

Fluttershy is a much stronger flier when she's not thinking about it, and Dash trying to beat her in an impromptu race and failing is a bit more in character.
She could even become more upset when she challenges her to a rematch, and Fluttershy isn't accepting it.

>>98702
That first part sounds similar to an idea I was about to post about Queen Crysalis's origin.

Where basically, she started out as a normal pony, but she looked hideous. Because of that, everyone rejected her so her greatest wish is to have everyone's love. Then something something something black magic something something something she can change her appearance but her true form is even more hideous to reflect her heart and she literally feeds on love meaning that she got her wish granted but not quite as she intended.

>>98710
That first part is more or less the first words you read when you boot up Skullgirls. I just changed it to accommodate ponies :P

And hey, in a more screwed up version of my idea, Chrysalis could be the first Skullmare. And in that version all canon would be fudged up and nonsensical, just like a fighting game!

>>98663
>a lot of the people who are into that actually think that the original Conversion Bureau fic wasn't complete shit.


Waitwaitwaitwait

There are people who think the original wasn't fucking garbage?

>>98732

*snrk*

Hey, people liked Past Sins too.

All right, I'm gonna play some more League before I get banned.

>>98704
sounds good. RD insists on a race, FS gives in, and beats her.

But I still have no title.

All I've got is an idea for this one.

You see, when I was a kid, for whatever reason, all I wanted was a Rainbow Dash MLP doll. Instead, I got a Rainbow FLASH doll. A look-a-like, sure, but still not the real Rainbow Dash. Looking back on this, this has inspired me to write a story.

A pegasus by the name of Rainbow Flash has shown up in Ponyville, and Rainbow Dash is not exactly thrilled by her look-a-like's presence. However, after challenging the newcomer to a race, Dash finds herself humiliated when Flash manages to beat her.

. . .
And that's all I've got.

I started typing it, but what appeared on-screen didn't look like what was in my head at all. I honestly have no idea where I want to take this story.

Help?

>>98740
Rainbow Flash, as it turns out is a Mary Sue. So RD recruits Pinkie Pie, master of the 4th wall to do an MST3K criticism to stop Rainbow Flash. Criticisms are the Mary Sue's one weakness.

>>98741
>implying criticism has ever affected a Mary Sue

>>98741
Although I thank you for that idea (and it is interesting enough XD), I don't think that's quite up my alley as far as writing goes.

Also, completely unrelated pic.

Hey /fic/. i have a great idea for a fic but cannot write for crap. here is the idea. A legendary warrior from the human world is brought back from death to stop the diamond dogs who equestria is now at war with. The warrior is achilles, he is summoned by luna and celestia to help push back the diamond dog horde and is asked to live in ponyville since it is so close to the DD kingdom. Good idea? Bad idea? if anyone wants to make it please go ahead. I dont even care if you take all the credit.

>>98785
Can it be a good idea? Sure. But what you have here isn't an idea, it's a shot in the dark. I can sum it up with "X character goes to Y, Z happens." It's probably the most used (and abused) "plots" out there. You need to develop this more if you want to have even the barest glimmer of a hope in getting a writer's attention for it.

How do y'all overcome writers block?

Okay, I have my scene planned out. I know what happens when, and I know how my characters will react. I just can't, for the life of me, put it to paper, or GDocs rather. Somewhere between my brain and my fingers, it gets all jacked up. How do you figure out how to write a scene?

>>98891
Well for me, a number of things. More often than not I just step back for a few hours or a day, and let the scene come to me whilst I let my mind wander. For something more immediate I either listen to music, play some wicked awesome video game or see a movie for possible ideas/inspiration. Or, you could just write something up as a place holder and come back again later.

Or, you could STOP IT. Your writer's block I mean. STOP IT.

Hihi, I need some advice. I'm starting a fanfic, and I feel I have a solid plot and all... but I'm stuck on a location name, and someone directed me to this thread. Can anyone help me come up with ideas for a ponified version of 'Atlantis'? It needs to sound similar enough to be recognizable (ie, Los Angeles/Los Pegasus).

Not exactly related to story writing, but it fits best here, I believe.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-commonly-corrected-grammar-errors-that-arent-mistakes/

>>98902
I'd imagine /dis/ would've been a more appropriate place as we can't really discuss it without derailing the thread.

Or at least it's own thread here.

hello everyone.

I just created a fimfiction account, ready to write my first fics in the off-season, but where's the part at which I actually add my story? It says you can add chapters, but does that include the prologue/chapter 1?

I am a total noob at this.

>>98940
You add a chapter to your story, then you hit the Edit button inside that chapter. (This question isn't suited for this thread, but there isn't really a suitable thread for the question. Ah well.)

>>98891
Check out these old threads and you'll probably find some useful answers:
>>72838 Writer's block
>>73377 ITT: What helps you write?
>>68427 Writer's block central
>>37741 What is your strongest motivation for writing fanfiction?

I need some feedback on rather what i'm thinking of writing.

It's a heavy build on the Changelings, discussing facts, myths/legends and misconceptions of their culture through an in depth study, from the reason that the book is for discussion about them through other Ponies who wish to read it, it would document events that would've happened in the past aswell.

The "history" of the changelings would rather be after the attack and immediate expulsion of the Changelings upon Canterlot ponies decided to investigate rather such an unknown entity that was to them (or rather the major population.) Where an observant fact is that many hoax's were done away and facts were established about their Culture, history and biology of the Changelings.

>>98716

Please, anybody, make this a thing.

I've had this idea for a fic in my head for while, there is just so many ways I can go with it. It takes place in a humanized version of Equestria with technology a little bit more advanced then today, while still retaining some qualities from the show such as magic.
The basis of the story is this:

Before the time of the "mane 6" a war breaks out between the Phoenixes of the Everfree Forest and the general population of Equestria over territory disputes. After many attacks on small towns such as Ponyville, people have to retreat to the outer cities. 100 years pass and enter the main characters. The Everfree Forest has expanded, engulfing the towns that once occupied it's edge. Clouldsdale, a metropolis located in the mountains overlooking the forest has turned into an Airforce Checkpoint known for its raw talent for flying jet aircraft. Newborns are brought into the idea of flying at a young age, almost like a tradition. This section follows two main characters, who model both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Dash and Shy play off each other in the sense that Dash brings out the wild and reckless side of Shy, and Shy brings out the deeper more emotional side of Dash.

As their time in the Flight Academy goes on Dash and Shy become more attached to each other. They both plan to graduate, although their plans afterwards are different. Dash has high hopes on joining the Military Airforce, however Shy plans on moving far away from the war. Will Dash be able to cope with Shy's departure and train for the Airforce or will she go with Shy and use one of her key talents to end the war for good?

Of course because of the nature of war I would like to add Dog-Fighting parts in the valleys of mountains, over the forest, and added exploration, and everything you would expect in this type of fic.

Thoughts?

All right, I'm currently working on a fanfic. It starts with Trixie meeting Luna and becoming her student and from there wandering the world on a mission from Luna. The thing is, I'm working on tarot motifs for it. I've pretty well come up with an idea for what card would represent Trixie, Luna, Ditzy Doo, Celestia, Shining Armor, and Spitfire. However, I'm having a hard time figuring out which cards could represent Gilda and Soarin'. Any thoughts?

I have something I'd like your help with. But before I do that, I'd like to give some people a hoof.
>>98898
Atlantis... Let me see here. Atlointis comes to mind. (The loin, of course, being part of a pony's back.)
>>99409
Here's an idea. Dash gets into a dogfight over the Everfree Forest and crashes. While she has to try to work her way out of the forest, she comes across the ruins of one of the towns that's been overrun, and encounters a family of forest people who've been surviving in the forest over the century that precedes the story. While there, she interacts with someone (possibly a forest-dwelling Applejack?) who forces Dash to reconsider or actively changes her opinion on the war.
That being said, I have my own idea I'd like fleshing out. The working title is "Puppeteers."
The story is a prologue to the show, taking place about 100 years after Equestria was founded. As our story opens, Equestria is approached by an army of monsters led by Neighdes the Conqueror, the ruler of the neighboring, militaristic empire of Tartarus, and his son, Prince Discord, who believe themselves to be the gods of fire and chaos, respectively. (The title derives from Tartaric slang, where "puppeteer" is a word used to describe a skilled general.) The Tartaric Envoys, as they come to be known, quickly ask Equestria for military assistance in their current war against the Changelings, a race of beings from "beyond the stars." It is known that the Changelings feed on love, so Neighdes quickly takes action to protect the borders of Equestria, a land of love, tolerance and harmony, to prevent the Changelings from becoming too powerful to defeat. Things become complicated, however, when Discord falls in love with Princess Luna.
Thoughts?

>>98634>>98686>>99198>>99318>>99468
(repost; I left one out)

"Queue" (list of ideas/inquiries that haven't gotten feedback, just to make them easier to find) http://bit.ly/I2VsAE
Been waiting for feedback on an idea? Can't find it in the list? Put it in yourself using the form (http://bit.ly/HPf2hS) so it's easier to find.

>>99747
Excuse me. I added my idea to the queue as you suggested, but I appear to have used the wrong link. Could someone who has the privilege to edit that document go in and correct the error, please?

Respond to ALL the ideas!

>>98634
Okay, here's my question. How would Gummy know about this? He is, after all, a pet. In order for him to know about this, it would require him to go into the Everfree Forest. The only way I can think of that working would be if Gummy is some kind of were-alligator, turning into a human at night and back into an alligator during the day. ...Which would be pretty cool, actually.

>>99198
...So...you're going to be discussing the history of the Changelings, why they decided to attack Equestria, and discussing the fact that they are a unique culture and not a species of monsters, correct? Well...okay. My best suggestion is to find a good framing device. Perhaps a pony goes out in search of the Changelings and receives a little lecture about their history? Or perhaps the story is a flashback from the perspective of Queen Chrysalis? Or maybe you could come up with your own.

>>99468
I don't know much (read: anything) about how Tarot cards are supposed to be interpreted. But I'll give this a shot anyway. Don't let me stop anyone else from giving this person a hand! That being said, I believe that Gilda could be represented by Strength, considering how she was so mean and stubborn during her brief time in Ponyville. Soarin', meanwhile, could be represented by The Hanged Man. Based on what little of his personality we've seen, he seems to be a fun-loving if clumsy pony, and the Hanged Man being suspended upside-down from a tree by one foot could give you a place to work from there. Again, I know next to nothing about Tarot cards, so if anyone else wants to chip in on this, they can just go right ahead.

>>99755
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/

That link provides an explanation of how tarot cards work. I already have the Fool, the Sun, the High Priestess, the Hanged Man, the Tower, and Justice picked.

>>99796
Okay, let's try this again. Knowing what I know now, I believe the Chariot would work better for Gilda, seeing as how the card is meant to symbolize getting what you want (as I interpret it). As for Soarin', if the Hanged Man is picked already...how about the Hierophant? I always pictured Soarin' as a kind of a goofy Father-to-the-Team figure for the Wonderbolts, and since the Hierophant is all about community, that would fit.

Could I trouble you fine ponies for some help on my story?
How would you describe the Everfree Forest? Like, imagine you were walking through it for the first time. What sort of things would you see? What kinds of plant and animals would you encounter? My human OC just had a brutal fight with a manticore, so I want to avoid anything that would attack him, like a cockatrice or Timberwolves. I just need a few lines of description to flesh it out. I want that alien feeling, but I've hit a wall as to how to SHOW it rather than TELL it.

Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

>>99864
Damp/dank smell.
Ivy hanging from things.
Rustlings.
Half-glimpsed eyes.
Something about 'ancient', 'green' and 'cathedrals'.

>>99879
Thanks! That helps a lot!

That sounds kinda sarcastic, but I'm being serious. All I needed was those few words. You done sparked my imagination!

Okay, I need some help.

Can anyone help me come up with a ponified title for a famous yet dull piece of literature? (e.g.: something by Shakespeare)

Thanks!

>>99887
Shakespeare, dull? Hrm. You're speaking as someone whose experience is from reading the plays in a monotone in a high school English class, aren't you.

Anyway, to answer you question: Edmund Sponeser's The Powny Queene would be my vote for stultifying classic.

Has anyone written a Friendship is Magic/Princess Tutu crossover? All I've seen is art. Someone needs to get on this; Princess Tutu was, pre-pony, my premier source of girly-awesome.

>>99889
Oh, I happen to like Shakespeare's work. I thoroughly enjoyed Julius Caesar.

That said, my ears were spared the monotone torture that is the average high school student reading, because we listened to a very good audio version.

So, when I said "dull", I meant dull to the average person. I have a scene where Twilight attempts to read a story along those lines to the CMC, who find the story extremely boring.

Anyways, thanks for the suggestion! I'll have to check that out and see if I can use it.

>>99887
A Midsummer Night's Pony, please. I'd love to see this.

>>99889
...I actually might have to read this on my own time. This looks enjoyable XD

>>99892
I think this is more along the lines of what I'm looking for. I could definitely make this work. Thank you!

Pony no Naku Koro Ni

It must be done.

After an embarrassing rules futz up on my part, here's the copy paste of my poorly-researched foray into /fic/
*ahem*

Hey guys, long time (8 months :B) no see! So, season two is over and boy did that finale give me some ideas! Motivation flowing out the eyes and whatnot!

I'm out of school and currently in the process of writing Doctor Whooves Episode 3 Chapter 1. It's not up yet, nor do I expect it to be up before wednesday, believe me, Ponychan will be the first to get the links this time around.

Anyway, I'd like to get nip this in the bud, what are your guys' thoughts on the title Atmos-Fear? The basic story is as follows

Tirac, occupying the body of Screw Ball, is taking the sly route and trying to create a climate of fear and paranoia following the Changeling Invasion on which to feed. To do this (s)he has gotten his/her agents into various facets of Canterlot's upper echelons (media, defense, etc). Sensing something is amiss, Twilight, Spike, and The Doctor set out to get to the bottom of this mystery. Adventure ensues.

Thoughts?
This is going to be the shortest one so far (I hope!), I'm going to try to churn out ~30k words, six chapter of 5k. This will also hopefully be a somewhat lighter affair after the apocalyptic TL&T and MoDM, setting up an overarching storyline involving Tirac's myriad plans to regain power while dealing with smaller Equestria-centered adventures.
I'm about 1000+ words into the first chapter, and I'm feeling the vibe again!

I was thinking of writing a story about Discord. Instead of being sealed in stone by the elements of harmony, he's turned into a kid. Or depowered. Either way, he's mostly harmless.
The mane six, Celestia, and Luna all take turns keeping an eye on him, to try and make him grow up or become to be good. It won't be like Past Sins, but more cute and fun. It just sort of bothered me how there was NO way for him to be redeemed, like how Luna was.

Good idea? Bad? Deaged or powerless?

>>99897

Seconded! Bonus points if Pinkie is the one doing the loops!

>>99961
Flutteryay! I'm so happy to know you're writing again. TL&T and MoDM are easily two of my favorite fanfictions in this fandom.

Surprisingly, I'm down with the whole Light-hearted affair. Doctor Who always threw in one in between doomsday episodes, so it fits the canon. Also yu could throw in some drama about the Doctor not wanting to get too attached to the Mane Six. He's never been in one place for as long as he's been in Equestria, so there's some potential conflict there as they try and integrate him into their lives.

I really am so excited to hear you're writing again!

>>100015
Someone else proposed that idea a while ago. Could work, though. People absolutely gobble up redemption fics.
For my bit, I say it seems like he's starting to normalize, then regresses and, unlike Past Sins, there's no second redemption. We need more stories that end in failure.

>>99961
Got your dialogue punctuations sorted out yet?
Anyways, looking forward to it. Your stories are always a fun read.

>>100048
I'll try to catch them all, but I'm always looking for a proof reader if anyone's interested.

>>99887

I've actually been thinking about this for a while. I don't know if these would be "Dull," but nevertheless...

-Ponies and Prejudice
-Death of a Salesmare
-The Old Mare and the Sea
-The Tragedy of Othello, The Mare of Venice (by Shakespony, of course)
-The Canterlot Tales (by pony-Chaucer)

FWIW, I think "The Powny Queene" is a little too hard to read--yes, that's how Spenser wrote, but you don't want to make the reader trip over your text [i]too[i] badly. Maybe "The Ponie Queene?"

>>100015

...I'm actually working on a story with a similar premise at the moment. please don't turn him into a kid.

...Attempting to put my biases aside for a moment, I think the "depowered" Discord works better for a redemption story. If he turns back into a kid (and loses his memory, maybe?) it's less about redemption and more about childcare. If he stays an adult, he needs to learn to overcome his bad habits/tendencies etc.

Hey guys,

I decided to work on that “Old Celestia” fic myself (>>97891. Permission revoked, btw). The major conflict is Celestia’s immortality—she’s outlived every person she’s ever loved, and she feels lonely and isolated. One of her biggest issues is she doesn’t have another immortal Alicorn to lean on—Cadence is too young, and Luna is out of touch after her 1000 year imprisonment.

Long story short, I need to come up with unique, magical origin stories for all four alicorns we see in the show. I have a good one for Celestia and Luna, but I still need to account for the Hearts and Hooves Day princess, as well as Princess Cadence. Here’s what I’ve got:

-The H&HD princess wasn’t actually an alicorn; that was an addition by a later historian (Celestia was one of the six element bearers who defeated Discord the first time around, and is, thus, a contemporary of the Princess. She tells another pony about this error, and finishes it with “I know, I was there”). This explanation is aided by the fact that we see two pictures of the H&HD Princess—in the first one, she’s a regular (earth?) pony, and, in the second, she’s an allicorn.

-Cadence’s Mom is a member of the Royal Guard, and guards Celestia’s personal lab. Mom and Celestia get to know each other on a first-name basis—they’re not close, per se, but Celestia likes her. Mom gets pregnant but continues to work; Dad (also a Guard, or perhaps a soldier) gets deployed and killed. Mom is so close to all the crazy magic that Celestia is doing that it affects baby Cadence, and she (Cadence) is born an alicorn. The birth is really difficult, and ends up disabling Mom (Hybrid demon baby almost kills mom? Is that too close to those Twilight books?). Celestia feels guilty for putting Mom through all that, and quietly pays her rent and medical bills. Cadence grows up like a regular filly (babysitting Twilight in the process), using her love powers to overcome any potential racism she encounters. When Cadence is in her mid-teens, Mom dies from lingering injuries from Cadence’s birth (perhaps she’s been struggling for years, and finally succumbs). Celestia, still feeling guilty, adopts Cadence as “niece,” making her a princess in the process, and sends her abroad in an effort to help her cope. Cadence picks up her nickname/title (“Mi Amore Cadenza”) while gone. (This plot accounts for Twilight’s surprise that Cadence is a princess, as well as for the fact that she doesn’t recognize the name “Mi Amore Cadenza”)

…does that all sound reasonable?

Good afternoon, everybody. This is my first time commenting, but I have lurked in various threads in the past. Lately I have been mustering up the courage to actually make this post, but I'm tired of putting it off. I need other opinions before I attempt this any further.

For months now, I have had an idea to write a crossover of two of my favorite things: Friendship is Magic... and... a certain science-fiction epic. At first I disregarded the concept, because it seemed impossible; I was an inexperienced writer taking on a large endeavor. But now, with my writing improving and my concepts solidifying, I think this could succeed (or outright fail, though I’d rather not be a pessimist).

So here is my idea: take the setting of Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Series, and retell the story with ponies in the place of the humans. It must sound insane to those who know Foundation's story, and its scale. I also believed it was rather crazy and stupid in the beginning. However, the more thought I gave to the whole thing, the more plausible it became.

Of course, I will be facing complications as I write this story. For one, I will be making different decisions and heading down different paths. If I stick too close to Foundation’s original framework, then the crossover will essentially be like replacing all the major human characters with ponies, but keeping the events/plot-points the same. That is something I must avoid at all costs. Of course, there will be some parts native to Foundation that I will bring over mainly for the sake of familiarity.

So... within the next week or two, I will post a lengthy prologue somewhere (would it be okay to post it here, in the Story Forge thread?). Hopefully it will be enough to let you all further speculate on my idea.

TL;DR — I have begun writing a Foundation/MLP science-fiction crossover. To any Asimov fans, or sci-fi fans in general: would you be interested in reading such a thing?

I have an idea for a MLP/ Tales of the Abyss(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_of_the_Abyss) crossover but cannot write prose to save my life. the general idea is that the event that fsends Luke and Tear halfway across the world to the tataroo valley instead send them to somewhere in equestria.

>>98686>>99318>>99729>>100079>>100300>>100334
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0

I have a story in mind. Although I have another in the making, I'd like to see if people like the idea.

The idea is to explore the world of the Changelings. Where they live, how they came to be. My idea is that they lived in a world completely dry of resources, although nature is slowly taking back over, as the world was reduced into a complete wasteland after a massive war between all the nations that made up their world. In the present (that is to say, at the time the show takes place), it's mostly deserts or fields with ruins, and small settlements and villages, with only two major governments still standing.

One, the kingdom of Queen Chrysalis, who strives to help her people, continuously looking for a new world for the Changelings to live in.

And on the other hand, there's a huge, Blade Runner-esque town where crime runs rampant and life generally isn't very enjoyable. It's polluted to all hell and the resources being extremely scarce indicate the town is about to collapse on itself, what with the massive gap between the rich and the poor.

And then I don't know what to do. I thought about having four main characters - two Changelings and two Ponies, having sort of a love triangle between the three "heroes", leaving out the "villain".

One of the main ideas would be for the villain to see how full of resources Equestria is. Technically, they'd all be around the same age as the main cast, so...

I really don't know what direction to take this in. I think the wasteland is an interesting place, and seeing how Changelings live in each part of the wasteland live would be interesting too.

If anyone has any suggestions...

>>98686

I sincerely apologize if I'm out of place by posting (I'm not sure if the Story Forge operates like TTG, where anyone can jump in). Please let me know if I am and I'll desist.

At first glance, I love than idea (damn you for coming up with it first). Furthermore, I don't think it's been done yet. But the question now is: where do you want to take it?

Of course, the first and most obvious choice is comedy, but I think it has just as much potential as a sadfic. For example, maybe Celestia gets "split up" and is no longer able to fulfill her duties as princess? She becomes destitute and eventually fades away from pony history. Perhaps she's shunned by society, or maybe her parts are kidnapped due to their now diminished power. Brutal, but emotionally powerful.

You could also do it as an adventure fic in which one of the three parts of Celestia goes rogue (hey, cliche, I know, but cliche ideas can work if done really well) and destroys her reputation. The other two parts of Celestia then have to go on a hunt to find the third.

Or, as said in the beginning, you could do it as a comedy. I think one of the coolest ways to do that would be to have Celestia's "parts" try to integrate into ordinary pony society (something along the lines of "Sunny Skies All Day Long").

So, that's the question: where do you want to go with the concept?

>>100506
> apologizes for giving feedback and insight
...
Your kind is quite welcome around these parts, methinks. No, don't stop what you're doing. It's perfectly in-place and appropriate for this thread.

>>100506
I don't know, I'm just the Idea Man. I just come up with a bunch of cool ideas that I'll never write :/.
Also, reply to a post made almost halfway through the thread. You're digging deep, aye? Or you just used the "unanswered ideas" post.
To answer your question, I'd probably make it a comedy, since I'm also the resident Funny Man.

>>100604
>I'm also the resident Funny Man.
...Good one, funny man.

>>100616
I believe Sparky, Pasciote, Mask of Data and several other reviewers can attest to my statement.
Alas, several of them also don't know it's my story. Such is the curse of leading a dual-life.

>>100629

Dual-life...? Like Batman?

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-BATMAN!

Cough - Right. Yes, I used the "not yet responded to" thing. I personally I like the idea as a comedy as well. And remember that this is coming from a guy who has (until now) written nothing but sadfics. I'm working on a comedy now though (self-promotion WOO!).

>>100631
(Sigh) I wish I was as cool as Batman is.

I might do it as a short, who knows. I could use something to get back into writing.

>>100629
>Such is the curse of leading a dual-life
As the leader of a quadruple-life, I know how difficult it can be; stay strong.

I would ask to take a look at this story, but I'd hate to compromise your identity. Hmmm, isn't that convenient... (Yes, yes it is.)

>>100635
Well, if you tell me your identities, I'll share my story with you.
Mutually assured destruction if one gives up the other.

>>100636
That's a good idea; expect an email in the near future.

>>100638
Like I said: Idea Man.

>>100641

As in, share our alternate identities? Why the hell not? So long as you don't go blabbing to the rest of Ponychan. I prefer to use my real name for writing and my pseudonym for reviewing.

>>100642
>Don't go blabbing to Ponychan about it
>Post on public board
>pic
I'm assuming that's your real name.

How about a fic where Vinyl has the ability to change the color of her eyes?

>>100644

Well, Josh Meihaus is my real name, but I review under a pseudonym. I like to keep my "work" separate from my personal life, so to speak.

>>100691
Dude... never, ever go to 4chan

I'm a little bored right now, so I'll offer some help with some of the ideas while waiting for a reply to my own.

>>100079
Hearts and Hooves Day's revealed princess does not need much focus, in my opinion. A synopsis (half of a chapter, for instance) could be fit somewhere within, but I personally am not interested in finding out more about her than what was already given. On the subject of Cadence, I find it hard to believe that it takes about fifteen years (birth to mid-teens) for the parent to die of a disability from birth. I can imagine Cadence's mom being injured for life because of it, but maybe she should pass away from other causes: old age, generally poor health, or residual magical effects from her work. Actually, residual magical effects sounds the best; they caused Cadence to be born an alicorn, and have a continuing, increasing effect on her mother's body. Celestia tries multiple times to remove the passive, complicated spell, and her failure motivates her to take care of Cadence after her mother's death.

>>100334
I have played Tales of the Abyss. Although my memory of it is sort of foggy, I believe you are talking about the hyperresonance in the beginning of the game? If that is the case, the entire fanfiction would be prior to all the major plot-points and reveals of the story (e.g. Luke finding out that he replica of Asch), and before Luke's later friendships with the other party members. "We need to find a way home" would probably be the central idea, and resolution, of the story. Still, I'm sort of 'iffy' on the idea. Tales of the Abyss had fun gameplay, but I felt it dragged on too much in terms of story, which is why I got bored of it. I would probably skip reading such a fic, even if the concept was refined.

>>100503
A wide-scale, decimating war between all species in the world of FiM sounds a little unrealistic. There have been previous observations that the changelings are based off of meteorites, so I like to think that they are alien in nature, or have evolved from contact with a special meteorite. The meteorite by itself could have caused the destruction of the land, and its resources, rather than an all-out war that laid waste to one land and left others untouched.

>>100647
This is just a small change, though, and it doesn't seem like much to work on. Perhaps there should be an ability that goes with the eye-changing, like a personality shift that makes her happier/angrier. Without any additional feature, it sounds like a normal, short slice-of-life fic (which I have no problem with, if it is pulled off correctly). For example, Vinyl puts on a charade to fool everypony, posing as a different pony/made-up relative, and using the different eye colors to shake off speculators. It would drive Octavia mad, I guess, as she tries to expose Vinyl's deception. It could make for a comedy, but I am obviously no expert.

Anywho, those are my opinions. I'm new at this, so forgive me if I am doing something wrong in this process.

>>100647
>Inb4 her eyes change colour because she's a changling that can't quite get its eyes right

>>100647
>In after what Ion said

My main warning would be that, at least on Ponibooru, there's a fair amount of aversion to the topic. Sort of a "gah, it's not even a big deal, stop bringing it up and causing drama" sort of vibe. Not sure if the fic-reading section of the fanbase would have a similar reaction. Naturally, it depends heavily on how you use that idea as a plot device.

>>100750
The idea is that the Changelings are aware of the world their ancestors used to live in and resent them for their stupidity and how they brought on seemingly endless famine and poverty. The idea that the Changelings lived before a meteor impact and changed into their current day form after the massively devastating impact sounds interesting.

>>100079
>>100750

I...like the lingering magic effects as well.

New story: Mom (an earth pony) is very pregnant at this point. Celestia is working on a particularly delicate magical experiment in her lab as Mom stands guard outside. Celestia loses control of the experiment, and it explodes, destroying most of her lab. As a creature of magic herself, Celestia isn't harmed very badly, but Mom, who was not caught in the explosion proper, got hit with the magic nevertheless. Mom is disabled with a bunch of weird magic-related symptoms--sudden random migraines, hallucinations, etc. She's still able to function for short periods of time, but isn't able to work. She goes on disability, with Celestia (secretly?) sending her extra.

Does that work, or is it too similar to the oft-maligned "Twilight Effs Up A Spell?"

...on the subject of "Twilight Effs Up A Spell," I thought I might as well run another idea past you guys.

Twilight wakes up in the hospital. While performing an experiment of some sort, there was an accident (with explosion and fire?) that has rendered Twilight blind. The focus of the story is how Twilight copes with this disability, and how it affects her identity and self-esteem.

...of course, the main plot point, is, well, "Twilight Effs Up A Spell." However, the actual cause of the accident is left ambiguous, and the story isn't about the effed-up spell--it's about Twilight as she tries to cope with changes in her life.

Is that still too close to the "Effs Up A Spell" plot, or do you think it's OK?

>>100899
Just make it some other sort of accident. If you want to play a tragic angle, Spike could accidentally give her face-full of fire, and then you can also write about Spike coping with his guilt as he helps Twilight live her day-to-day life.

>>100899
I could be wrong, but the main animosity towards the "Twilight effs up a spell" premise is that it's out of character for Twilight to try to cast some advanced spell that could have terrible side-effects. I can't say I agree, considering the spell she tried casting in Return of Harmony Pt. 1 was an "experimental" one, but let's ignore that. You could just as well have some other unicorn do the misfire. Other than that, it could be a malicious spell from some douchenozzle or some person pony that your would-be target of a misfired spell pissed off.

If it's simply a means to an ends, there's a lot of options you could do that don't push certain irrational people's buttons.

>>100750 my idea was that early on they find a reliable way to travel between Equestria and Adurant,

>>100898
You may want to include that Cadence's mother aided Celestia despite warnings from her, because many view Celestia's character to be that of a responsible adult. There is a way to avoid the entire "Unicorn effs up a spell" thing, if you feel that it's become too much of a plot device. The experiment (long-term?) could have released radiation-like magic, gradually building up in Cadence's mother from the early to late stages of pregnancy. Any early signs of the magical effect are attributed to the pregnancy, and are only noticed by Celestia later on as they worsen. In a way, it would explain the development of Cadence's horn and wings, since those probably don't spontaneously appear (but hey, with magic anything is possible, right?)

Hey guys, I need some help with pony names.

I'm very close to finishing a fic and submitting it to EqD. However, some of my beta readers took issue with the names of some of my ponies.

The first one is Fluttershy's mom, based off the following picture.

http://yamino.deviantart.com/art/Fluttershy-s-Mom-210478565

I named her "Angel Bunny"--Fluttershy's bunny was named after her.
...that doesn't change the fact that I'm using a canon character's name. Her love of bunnies is an important plot point, but I have no idea what else to name her.

Another character is a pegasus mare named Mirasol ("Sunflower" in Spanish). She lives in Cloudsdale, and grows sunflowers in little clay pots (to everyone's surprise). Her love of flowers is, again, a small but important plot point.
First off, does this one need to be changed? One of my beta readers said it sounded too "human" of a name.
I could just call her "Sunflower," and have her raise other kinds of flowers, but I don't know how I feel about that name.

Any other ideas, either for Mom or Mirasol?

>>101057
Thanks for the ideas, Spatial. You gave me an idea for another small tweak which I like better. In the newest version, Celestia finds Mom collapsed outside the lab one afternoon. The doctors say that long-term exposure to Celestia's magic gave her "Magic Poisioning." Celestia asks why this kind of thing hasn't happened before (She's had lots of guards over the years, after all), and the doctors reveal Mom is actually pregnant (surprise!)--her delicate condition made her more sensitive to the magic.
No explosion/screw-up neccesary.

So...I had an interesting story idea.

A mysterious object crash lands in equestria and twilight sparkle investigates finding almost no leads untill a discredited scientist named Lyra points out simularities between the mysterious object and ruins found deep within the everfree forest. Pinkie Pie's pinkie sense starts acting up more than ever, so extreme she ends up in a coma.

Meanwhile, three mysterious beings converse, not pony nor any other creature known to equestria, a large object visible to them which distorts space and time but all that touch it are absorbed, the probe they sent to investigate is not giving any signals. after some tests, they determine that the object disrupts quantum computers. In order to investigate further, they have to send something else, human beings, and so, somewhere within the everfree forest, three tall bipedal beings covered in strange uniforms emerge from the everfree forest.

Id like to know what people think of the idea

>>101067
Sounds like pretty bog-standard HiE stuff to me.

>>101070
eh I suppose, though it takes place a few thousand years from now and equestria is a delusional sufficiently advanced alien

>>101063
Name her Flutterangel or Angelfly or something. Why would she be called "bunny"? You can still work off of the related names without having a direct copy/paste, after all.
The problem with non-English names is that the reader won't know what it means, so your symbolism is lost to them. That said, you can use commonly-used foreign words if their English equivalent is obvious. For example, she could be Sol Flora. Sol is the Greek sun god and is a fairly easy conversion to "sun", while Flora has to deal with botany and such.

>>101067
To be frank, it sounds stupid. That might be due to your awkward syntax working in tandem with my predisposition to not give poorly-constructed posts meaningful thought, though.
Lyra is suddenly a (discredited) scientist; where did this come from? Pinkie in a coma? Humans in Equestria? It's like three different ideas crashed into each other at high speed. If you want to even have the barest hope of someone picking up on this, you'd best brush up on your mechanics and develop your idea some more, since at this point it just seems like a "Let's combine X, Y and Z and see what happens!" sort of job.

this idea is still in its early phases of its developement, and yeah my syntax is a bit poor.

perhaps I will focus on human scientists studying equestria while pinkie pie explores the starship that sent the researchers accidently causing chaos

>>101074
Already done by Article 2 to a degree.

eh, alright, still might be fun to try even if I dont post it, just to try to get better at writing, Im thinking of making equestria a boltzmann brain

I had what could be an interesting parody of HiE stories, or a completely nonsensical idea. France would wake up, and find itself in Equestria. Not a frenchman, the country itself would be teleported to the magical pony kingdom. It would go as follows;

After building their sixtieth nuclear reactor, they interact and transport France to another dimension, Equestria. Meanwhile, NIghtmare Moon manages to invade our world and possesses Queen Elizabeth II. French president Hollande must work together with the ponies to return to Earth and stop the NMM led Evil Britannian Empire before they conquer the whole world!

It has been long since I thought something so silly, and I would like opinions to know if this would be hilariously silly, or just silly silliness.

>>101296
I... um... what? It does sound very silly. It could be hilariously silly, if you turn it into a comedy from the get-go. It really depends on how it's written, or how serious it is throughout.

On a side note... has my idea been buried? (>>100300 is the post) I'm guessing no one has replied because they need more background information than what I gave (which, now that I think about it, is very little). I'll make a post later including some, if that's the case.

What is the current work list of uncommented ideas?

Um, so... is this thread still active? I have a few questions, as an aspiring author.

>>101336
/fic/ is really show, so if the thread's been posted in the last three days, you can consider it "active."

>>101338
Ah, right, thank you.

So I've been thinking: OC pony colours. Do you mention them in writing? Is it necessary to mention them? Is it better to not? I'm on the side of "don't mention features", although I'm guilty of slipping in character descriptions as parts of scenes.

If one wants to describe one's OCs, how does one go about doing it - start off from line one, or use an instance of LUS?

>>101474
I'm a fan of using direct descriptions when I describe my OCs if the OC is worth focusing on. A description of what the OC looks like, and then be done with it--that is, if the description matters. I can't remember what colors the glass blower and his friend from The Glass Blower are. Nor can I remember what colors Reveille, Cross Tree, or Opal Eye are from Sword, Hammer, Stallion.

My reasoning for it is that if it's just a passing description with LUS, then the character is deemed not important enough to be described. If you're going to describe the character, do it in a way that you're not just listing features off what you see on Pony Creator. Also, LUS can be confusing. "Oh, wait, so now there's a pony named Fluttershy that we don't know anything about and a yellow pegasus we don't know the name of?"

So, uh, I have this idea. It's an adventure story with slice of life, adventure, romance and comedy aspects. I thought of it today in school, in maths, so pardon me if it isn't that good.

Twilight and Luna go missing after Luna goes to Ponyville for a day or two, to check up on the place. Well, actually, both of them tell the other EoH that they're going to get a special flower, that can only be grown in somewhere where the weather isn't controlled- the Selenicereus grandiflorus (yeah, I did a bit of research on this...)

So, they both say that they will be back in a fairly short amount of time, depending how long the journey is and what hazards might lie in the way. Naturally, the EoH assume that they mean deep in the Everfree forest.

Twilight and Luna both set out, and the story picks up the perspective of Celestia and the EoH's point of view from there, for the beginning of the story.

Meanwhile, no one told Celestia, and she just assumed her sibling spent a little longer with Twilight- after all, she did say they were going to do an experiment. So, naturally, Celestia doesn't really worry—that is, until about a week and a bit later. The EoH worry kind of too, but still have hope.

From them on, it focuses on both sides of the story- some chapters exclusively focusing on Twilight and Luna, others about the EoH and Celestia.

On the way, both of them face many trials and hazards, getting seperated a couple of times and Luna suffers a bit of injury, due to protecting Twilight from one of the monsters from Tartarus (which, is part of the story plot) and Twilight suffers a minor injury, thanks to Luna sacrificing her life for her. She doesn't die, though, as you'd expect of alicorns—and this isn't a tragedy fic— and so, with the help of Twilight, she manages to make it through.

Eventually, they get to the plant, in a place a bit away from the Equestrian borders. It's a place with lush fields and beautiful spring air, with trees rustling gently in a faint breeze and all kinds of flowers and animals imaginable. Among these are two of the flower they went on this adventure to find.

This is where the story branches off, at the end. I'm not sure if I want a bittersweet ending, such as: Luna goes to gift one of the flowers to Celesia, only to discover it has wilted, and for Celestia to go out to her private garden, and, in the late hours of the night (early hours of the morning) prods Luna, and gives her the flower. Luna then takes it with tears in her eyes, and gives it to Celestia, then hugs her and they all live happily ever after.

Or:

A romantic ending, where the two doze off happily in front of the flowers, and Luna gives the flower to Twilight, putting magic on it so that it won't ever wilt or die unless they stop loving each other, or if something grave happens to either of them. (Not sure about this part. Read it in a fanfic recently, I think, and I don't want to steal the author's ideas, because that's plagiarism)

So, any thoughts? Also, I've read a lot of fanfics and tend to suck some ideas out of them, as I go along. For all I know, this could already be a story out there, and if that's the case, I'd be grateful if you could tell me. If not, I would be grateful if you could help me out with this idea.

>>101510
As for the experiment, Luna aids Twilight in it and to finish it off, and make a scientific breakthough, they will need the flower.

Other than that, I was thinking that maybe, both of them just wanted to see it? That and it's Luna's present to Celestia.

>>99318 | >>99729 | >>100300 | >>101510
See:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0
If you've been missed, please fill out this form:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc6MQ&ifq

>>101510

The thing with the flower feels somewhat artifical. It seems to be more of a plot device to lead to "Luna and Twilight have an adventure" more than anything.

Also, what kind of experiment is it that they need to tromp through the forest? If it's just an experiment, that doesn't seem like a strong enough motivation for either of them to risk injury and death to retrieve it--double if they just want to see it.

Perhaps Celestia falls ill, and Luna is frantically looking for a cure. She goes to Twilight for help (or Twilight comes to her with a solution) and they set off together to find the flower to make medicine for/cure Celestia (Beware--I feel like "Celestia gets sick" has been done already).

That would also help with your endings. Both the endings you suggest sound a little weak.

Also: I hate shipping, more than most. For this reason, I dislike the Twiluna ending, especially since that particular ship seems stranger than most. You could turn it into frienshipping, if they're out to cure Celestia, but I, personally, wouldn't read a full-on ship.

Just like small, beady eyes on beastly bad guys, green magic seems to be the artists' fashionable choice for antagonists vis-a-vis the Flim Flam brothers and Chrysalis. What if a negative stigma became attached to that color? Let's say a young unicorn in school in Canterlot would have to contend with prejudice over having naturally green magic, and the temptation to lash out against the taunting.

>>101510
>>101730

...wow, that wasn't...hardly coherent.

Let's try that again:

Your basic plot (Luna and Twilight go adventuring through the forest) seems fine. Your beginning and ending need some help, though.

First off, your beginning. The motivation for your characters feels weak--the flower is simply a plot device to get Luna and Twilight in the forest. Needing the flower for an "experiment" doesn't seem like very good motivation, especially since their travels in the forest are life threatening--Luna sacrificing(?) her life for Twilight so she can complete an "experiment" doesn't seem realistic. This goes double if the only want to see the flower.

What if they need the flower to help a mutual friend? My first thought is that Celestia has fallen ill, and Twilight and Luna need to get the flower to cure her? That feels like a good motivation, and isn't so plot-device-y.

(While we're still talking about the beginning, I didn't really understand the part about them vanishing for a week. That didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to me, nor did it seem to be important to the story--but maybe I was reading it too fast.)

Now, the ending. The endings you suggested also seemed weak--they invalidated the struggle that Luna and Twilight went through (One of your bittersweet endings went like "Twilight and Luna just had this epic journey, but their Maguffin died before they could use it. Oh well."). In addition, the Twiluna shipping seems odd (I've always thought Twilight was, like, 14, making that particular ship pedophilia), and, the way you wrote it, comes out of left field. I am very biased on this point, though, so take my comments with a grain of salt.

In short, their struggle needs to matter. If you use the "sick Celestia" plot, have the flower cure her. If you don't want to use Sick-lestia, figure out your beginning first--give them a motivation, and have their "quest" pan out.

>>101841

Also, I would give the flower an english name. Your Latin one is difficult to remember, and isn't very memorable.

I see you have a variation of "selene" in there, which reminds me of the French word for "moon"--since Latin and French are the same language (obviously) that means that the name has something to do with the moon.

With that in mind, might I suggest calling it a "Moon Lily"?

You can keep the Latin name, too--just have Twilight say something like "it's called the Latin whatsit, also known as the 'Moon Lily.'"

>>101784

My first thought:There are "Good Guy" greens (darker, nature-y greens, e.g. Fluttershy's dress) and "Bad Guy" greens (bright, poisonous greens, e.g. Chrysalis' eyes). Thus, the color green is not inherently evil.

For this reason, I feel like it would be difficult for there to be "green magic racism" and have it be believable. One possibility: when Chrysalis was disguised as Cadence, she looked normal (most of the time) but had bright green magic. With this in mind, I could see little foals being scared of your protagonist ("He has green magic! He's a changeling!") but I don't think the adults would participate in or allow such teasing/harrasment.

Another thought--if your protagonist is in school, perhaps the other foals tease him about his magic. The teacher(s) notice, and they have a lesson about how everyone is different, and we need to be nice to everyone. Your protagonist feels that this is directed at him, and feels embarrased/angry, making him feel the adults are out to get him, too.

Whee! Here I go, spamming the Storyforge thread again!

Working on the "Old Celestia" fic now. One of the important plot points is that Celestia is afraid to love--she's been hurt so many times before that she's built a wall around herself, and won't let anybody in. She only really starts to crack after Twilight frees Luna from her curse, and only really opens after the Changeling invasion.

I think I can tweak her in-show appearances to make it work (without sending everyone into conniptions) but I need some help with out-of-show scenes.

Again, Celestia doesn't want to get close to anyone. How can I make her caring, without making her connect? Specifically, young Cadence and young Twilight both need help--how can she provide that help without connecting on an emotional level?

I had some ideas, but they feel more like Trollestia than Sad-lestia.

-Per my earlier discussion, Cadence lives with her mom until she's about 16, when her mom dies. Celestia feels guilty about the whole situation, and "adopts" Cadecne as a niece. Cadence is still shook up about her mom, though, and spends several days crying. During one of these crying sessions, Celstia says to Cadence, "You know what would make you feel better?" Cadence looks up expectantly. "A trip abroad! Let's start planning right away." Cadence looks somewhat shocked, and starts crying harder (the trip abroad is important to the plot, so I need to get her to travel somehow, but this timing seems almost...callous).

-Celestia takes on Twilight as her personal protege more as an academic interest than anything--she recognizes Twilight can be very, very powerful, and wants to make sure she's properly taught how to control her powers. Twilight, however, does her best to impress her teacher, even though Celestia is somewhat detached. In one scene, filly Twilight comes to ask Celestia for help with a paper she's writing for another class. Celestia calls over Inkwell, her personal scribe, to help Twilight. Twilight tears up, and says that she wanted help from Celestia. Celestia tries to convince Twilight (unsuccessfully) that Inkwell would be better able to help her. Twilight and Inkwell leave together, Inkwell spouting advice, Twilight with her head down. (Again, this seems somewhat callous--Twilight is making a sincere effort to connect with Celestia, and she shuts her down)
(I just realized--naming the scribe "Inkwell" is an [unintentional] pun, and a pretty good one, if I say so myself. High-five, brain!)

Any feedback on these ideas? Any other ideas on how I can make Celestia meet these needs, but stay emotionally detached?

>>101841
Hmmm, well, yes you're right. But really, I don't want to use the sick Celestia plot. For one, I hate seeing her unwell, and two... well, it has been overdone, like you said.

I will make their struggle matter. I just need to have time to think. Probably this weekend.

>>101842
Actually, the flower is called "Queen of the Night" and is actually a type of cacti... it blooms once a year (from what I've read) and is quite rare.

Nonetheless, thank you very much for taking the time to read over the idea and post your concerns, I will take them into consideration.

So I got an idea for a semi-crossover with the Half-Life universe the other day. I say semi-crossover because it wouldn't involve any of the characters/factions from the games except for a G-Man-esque figure and the Combine Union.

I want to explore what might have happened if the Combine had suddenly shown up and invaded Equestria, perhaps after a scientific/magical accident (Which would figure into the overall plot) akin to the accident in Half Life 1.

Canterlot would become the Combine's base of operations in Equestria, where they would construct a citadel, and Mayor Mare would be appointed as the leader of ponykind (by the Combine, who put Celestia out of the equation and need somepony they can control). One of the main characters would be a Civil Protection officer (Civil Protection being an organization of ponies who decided to willingly aid the Combine by policing their own people in exchange for certain privileges that other citizens don't have) who is forced to reevaluate his situation.

Also, Luna would show up after an unexplained (to the other characters, at least) absence of more than a decade, during which a resistance movement has arisen in Equestria. She would serve as the Gordon Freeman figure who eventually gives the resistance the push it needs to start a full-blown uprising.

Thoughts?

This is a fairly vague idea that I really haven't fleshed out at all, but it sounded fun to me.

So, I had a crazy idea that I'm throwing out there. I would LOVE to develop this one further, but I have too many other projects on my plate.

In Gulliver's Travels, published in 1726, Jonathan Swift wrote about an island of talking horses (who he called "Houyhnhnms"). This has led at least one person to call Swift the first Pony Fanfiction author.

...what if Swift really was a pony fanfiction author? That is, what if the MLP phenomenon occurred 200+ years ago? I think this would be fun to read, and would be an interesting way for the community to examine itself--or to get some cheap laughs, at the very least.

I think this would work best during the Victorian era (perhaps a children's adaptation of Gulliver's Travels, with much more sympathetic Houyhnhnms, becomes stranely popular and sparks a spin-off). The "bronies" are primarily rich, older men who have intellectual discussions about the novel(s) in gentelmens' clubs.

Ideas:
- Novels were often serialized in newspapers or magazines before being published in book form, so there could be scenes about fans getting angsty over the next installment being delayed, etc.
-I think it would be fun to see how Victorian society might react to the show. "Did you read that segment where Jack-o'-Apples asked her friends to help in the apple orchard? I was positively scandalized when Lady Twilight helped out--that's Peasant's work!"
-At least one scene referencing a contreversy--for example, an older, mutton-chopped man screaming at the top of his lungs, "Take that back, or I will have you ejected from this club, sir! Rainbow Dash is not an adultress!"
-A certain "Lord Channing," who owns a very prominent club, initially bars "bronies" from his club. Only after months or years of missed business and bad press does he relent (a reference to the 4Chan /mlp/ board and related nonsense)
-The chapters are accompanied by engravings of the horses in question. One of the engravings is badly done, and a mistake leads to the creation of a "Derpy" character. If someone can find actual Victorian slang to use (the more insensitive, the better) that would be awesome.
-A scene with a high-class gentleman meeting with a shifty, low-class character late at night. Their conversation ("I assume you have the...items?" "Of course, guv'nor") leads the reader to believe they're doing something illegal (or at least questionable)--until the shifty guy reveals the merchandise: cast lead pony figures. The gentleman asks all kinds of technical questions ("These are legitimate Hansen molds, correct?"), but is turned off the sale when he notices a "Derpy" figure--he knows it's a fake set.

Again, if you want this idea, go to town. I would love to read this, but it seems like it would take a lot of research/effort to make it good, and I'm not willing to put that kind of work into it atm.

>>101627
You can remove my idea from the queue. I doubt anyone will get back to me. Plus, a good friend of mine is helping me with the story, so I no longer need assistance.

Hey Demetrius, have you done anything with that Guardian Angel/Scootaloo plot yet? I'm kinda interested in that idea.

Just got another simple idea:

An older Featherweight being given the job of a war correspondent (Journalist tasked with covering stories firsthand from a warzone).

Thoughts? Oneshot or long fic more appropriate?

>>101960

I would say make it a one-shot--but you've given us very little to work with. Without an idea of a plot or your goals for the story, I can't really answer that question.

Yeah, the lack of details was mostly because It had just popped into my head. I've thought about it a little more, and will provide some more info when I get the time.

>>101947
I'm flattered that you would inquire as to the status of my not(yet)-story. The idea, as with all of my others, is totally up for grabs.

Lest anyone be worried about me beginning to write one of them: know that most of them I probably will never write, because I won't have the time or gumption. I come up with ideas and post them because it's fun to daydream, and I've learned that in the scheme of things, spoiling all one's plans for a story, unless one is a masterful writer, isn't that bad of a thing. That's because even if the prose fails to manifest, the story itself will have found an audience, and the idea in itself has reached other hearts. So, with that I'll just toss my messy, unfinished revised second edition of the sketch/outline for The Quiet Soil Awakens, because though I may never actually get to writing it, I personally think it was a decent idea (well, I had fun thinking about it), and if anyone else so much as enjoys imagining the events of the story happening, then it would make me happy.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PcmZZCQtFI6Kupp3whGNR4Bsc3OVDPk-n43Gr4cWOYw/edit
Warning: tons of plotholes and unexplained things, and things that I need to find excuses for their being there. The first edition, which is pretty much all takes place after the events of the episode Over a Barrel:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NwaFZw55dtZ9j2ilvlz7E3eqvBUvG7JpzqU2x9vH8dE/edit

If I do write any stories, it will most likely be my Pinkie Pie has a prescient vision about a fire story, or my Frank Zappa crossover. In the latter, I hope to include a Studabaker Hoch pony. And maple syrup. And parasprites.

Hey guys, I need some help with some small details--specifically, pony names and designs.

I'm working on a fic where we get to know Twilight's family a little better. One of her family members is a younger sister, who I've been calling "Twinklestar." "Twink" is about 8 (to Twilight's 14), and plays the "annoying little sister" role. Specifically, Twilight comes home for an extended "vacation", and bunks in Twink's room (which used to be her old room). Twilight tries to reconnect with Twink, but she's strangely hostile. It turns out that Twink is jealous of her sister's success, and resents the invasion of her privacy. They make up by the end of the story, though.

For Twink, I need a better name and a color scheme. I had her with a white coat and dark blue mane, but that was taken by Shining Armor. Flipping that (Dark blue coat with a white mane) turns her intro Trixie. Any other ideas?

Next: Twilight's mom and dad. I might be able to get away with calling them "Mom" and "Dad", but I'd like to have names for them nonetheless. Any ideas?

Next: I need the name of an ancient lost city. I've been calling it "Illium" in my head (an old name for Troy, I believe), but that's also the name of a planet in the Mass Effect universe (which will throw some people off), and also doesn't sound "pony" enough. Any thoughts?

Finally: the country the ponies lived in before Equestria. I've been calling it the capital-H Homeland, but I feel like that's been used elsewhere (Bastion, perhaps?) Any ideas on what else I could call it?

Thanks for the help guys.

I just have one question, and I didn't think it deserved its own thread so I thought this might be the best place for it.

I've finally started writing my first adventure, cross-over and non-clop story, but I also decided to finally browse through the FiM archive and have found a few stories that cross-over with the same title. I'm kind of discouraged right now, because I feel like my story will only be subjected to "This has been done to death" type of remarks. My question: Is it still a good idea to go ahead and write something of a similar idea, as long as the story is something you truly came up with on your own? I just feel kind of bad right now that I got my hopes up on my story but so many authors have beaten me to the punch.

Sorry if this is the wrong thread for this, I really didn't know where else to post it.

>>102216
You are most welcome here. So what's this story about? Let's come up with a better title for it that doesn't match the pattern "My Little ____: ___ is ___" or the like.

>>102220
Ugh, I wanted to keep it a secret! It's only been known by only one of my friends so far.

Devil May Cry: Friendship is Stylish

I'd actually written the first chapter the other night and been pretty happy with my first draft, and had searched google without finding anything too popular. I just randomly tonight found a few in the FiM archive. One of them has been going on for almost a year, so it's kind of intimidating.

>>102224
Well, we've got our work cut out for us, don't we now.

For the story, just make sure you have an actual story going. That way you can't go wrong. So much crossover (and bad OC fics) waste reader time doing a whole ooh and ahh session where the characters of FiM are introduced to some fictional element, be it a character, a setting or a MacGuffin from another universe, that will eventually walk all over them in terms of importance in the story and stealing the scenes. So, if what you have in mind places heavy emphasis on the characters' reactions to the new fictional universe and the introduction thereof, then I'd say you're bound for an incredibly mediocre and unoriginal fic (because it would in such a case not only be following a formula, but a formula for dullness at that). If, on the other hand, you have imagined a series of events, a conflict, a climax and a resolution involving characters from both fictional universes that you want to convey, which is more than just a paltry excuse to bring the two imaginary realms together, then you're about to write a decent story, and it doesn't matter if there have been crossovers of that area already.

For example: let's say that I wanted to write a crossover of MLP:FiM and Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Would you rather read about Princess Kushana riding Princess Luna into battle against her treacherous brothers, to take back Torumekia for the cause of friendship, and Fluttershy flying around with Nausicaä and tending to the enemy's wounded, or about the characters tarrying in the introductions and marveling at each other?

Consider Fallout: Equestria. Dozens of derivative works have been written. They all cover the same ground in terms of the world they take place in, but they each tell different stories. More importantly, however, they each tell stories; they don't just parade the elements of the setting and circumstances like the concept of them is the most important or interesting thing.

>>102228
>a crossover of MLP:FiM and Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
I would read that so hard.

>>102228

I've already sketched out what I want to happen in the story. I actually resolved to stay away from the "character reaction" story as much as I could. There of course has to be some of that to get the point across, but the main point of the story is going to be searching for the source of the problem, infiltrating the big hideout, and defeating the one pulling the strings at the end.

So even if a hundred stories under the same title have been made, as long my story is unique there shouldn't be a big deal, right? I guess I was just beating myself up over not being "first" (or second even) to write that kind of story.

>>102233
Unique ideas are a dime a dozen. What is important is the execution. If your writing keeps the reader interested, then you have nothing to worry about.

>>102230
Pinkie Pie would have a hard time. She'd have to do far more than sing "you've gotta share, you've gotta care" to convince the world's few surviving inhabitants to share what remains of its natural resources and habitable land. I mean damn, in the wake of the source material's resolution, all that really changed was the destruction of the crypt at Shuwa; humanity was still fucked anyway, and despite the peaceable bond made between The Valley of the Wind and the clan of the Dorok principality of Narei there was not much hint that humanity had learned anything in the wake of the warmongering abomination's demise. So the conflict becomes: despite how death is inevitable, all must perish, and life is fickle, how can the ponies, together with Nausicaä, convince the survivors to peacefully coexist?

It might actually work better in the manner of FoE's approach, with the pony universe in a similar situation: an ecological wasteland having been brought forth by abusive pony practices which over-used magic to engineer the land under the guise of increasing productivity of the land. Bah, I'm back where I started with Quiet Soil.

>>102233
Well, you would want to find a new title. And, good on you for approaching writing crossover with (what I believe to be) the correct attitude.

Come now, it's only a few words you have to revise, versus a few chapters, paragraphs or even sentences.

>>102234
>>102238
Well, I've not actually seen that particular title used, just the franchise. But I think I'll stick to it anyway.

Thanks for the pep talk guys, I really appreciate it.

>>102240
You're welcome.

A fic where a character (OC) talks in Latin, and everyone else in the story understands it and responds as if nothing happened, but the reader is left confused as fuck.

Extra points for pig latin

Extra Extra points for Gaelic and having the character being homosexual.

>>102243
That's not a story, that's a gimmick. Do you have a story to put that gimmick in?

>>102248
Shush you, that's fucking genius

>>102252
That may be true but it's still not a story.

Since we're talking gimmicks, I may as well lay this one down. It's been stirring about in my noggin' for long enough that I think it's worth fleshing out.

The gimmick is that every character talks in a certain font. The first person narrator, Charter, talks in Charter BT. Charter is a typography elitist, and he's travelling Equestria to find the perfect font. His personality is similar to Cranky Doodle, and I can imagine the opening scene going in parallels to that of the episode. Pinkie Pie shows up, talking in Comic Sans, and Charter is absolutely reviled. Still, cheap shots at Comic Sans aren't really very witty, so I don't really want to belabour that scene too much.

Most of the characters talk in either Times New Roman or Helvetica. At some point, he gets completely grossed out by a sans-serif x serif couple. (That just ain't natural.)

He goes around town being generally extremely critical of the way each person talks. (All of the character except the narrator are unaware of the font gimmick, and even he doesn't actually use names for them.) I'm imagining a scene where Granny Smith (Times New Roman) tries to lecture him about her speech, but he more-or-less dismisses her.

At this point, the reader should dislike the protag for being such a windbag. He then finds a pony who talks in Palatino. For a while, he's very infatuated by this person (font). They go on a date, and they for a good while both enjoy themselves; but as the night goes on he manages to find little flaws in her that he didn't see before. His nature as a perfectionist ruins the date, and he ends the night alone but apathetic. In the morning he decides to leave the town, having not found what he was looking for.

I'd like to have it somewhat short and somewhat of an allegory for the pitfalls of perfectionism. Of course, the mundanity of the matter is offset by the snarky nature of the narrator and also somewhat by the gimmick, so the read still has page-flipping qualities. I think there were other things I thought to work into the gimmick, but I can't remember them right now.

>>102256

>>102256
Both Squeak and Lightsideluc did something like that that in their meta "X with occasional Y" stories. Lightside even had a purposeful Mary Sue that spoke exclusively in Comic Sans.

>>102282
My face every time you make reference to Lightsideluc's exploits

Ragnarök looms. The Vanir has summoned its forces to wage war against the Æsir, and the fate of Asgard hangs in the balance. Only with the aid of Einherjar—mortal warriors raised to godhood after proving their worth—can the Æsir hope to prevail in the coming battles. Valkyrie Twilight Sparkle, the lovely warrior-maiden, descends unto earthly Midgard as she seeks brave souls to recruit and corrupt spirits to purify.

In essence, a loose adaption of the semi-popular Valkyrie Profile series. My character replacements would be:
Twilight Sparkle: Valkyrie Lenneth
Celestia the All-Mother: Odin the All-Father
Luna: Queen Hel
Pinkie Pie: Loki (Okie Dokie me!)
Cadence: Freya
Big Macintosh: Arngrim
Sweeitie Belle: Jelanda
Trixie: Mystina

...although that's just my opinion. There'd be a large number of OCs unless the writer didn't want to handle a huge cast.

>>102290
But who in the heck would (or even COULD) be Lezard?

Alright here it is, copy and pasted straight from my idea page.

Title-

Characters
- RailWind- Earth pony- Colt- Personality- RailWind is probably the most patient of the 4, waiting silent and still for periods of up to 2 weeks. He is cool tempered and is the most reasonable pony in the band. He is the kind of pony who sits back when not needed and up front when someone has two nuts and a brain to step up with intents of anything harmful. He is weak against Flashbacks and pictures of home, but is strong against hasty ponies/creatures and fast,moving targets. This gives him the edge against the invasive species because they are always hasty to destroy and are always fast and moving. Most of the time he can sit still, but sometimes he is nerve-wracked and can't think straight/wait.- Cutie Mark- His cutie Mark is wind flowing freely.

- GinWeave- Unicorn- filly- Personality- GinWeave is the best With Words and information. She can talk her way out of just about any situation, but when a blood-thirsty creatures breaks down the doors, she know how to use a staff. Well-respected and highly thought of, she knows how to get people to speak her mind. She is weak against Magic and tricks, but is cunning and is pretty good with magic. Knowing alot has it's ups and downs, but mostly ups. She can tell you something right off the back of her hoof but can fail at times when she is stressed and trying to study up.- Cutie Mark- Her Cutie Mark is a book and scroll.

- MediBolt- Pegasus Pony- filly- Personality- MediBolt Knows what she's doing when it comes to herbs and medicines, being one of the finest front-line medics. She was once in the wonderbolts, though she quit when she discovered her passion and skill with herbs. She is fast to get and tend to the injured. She is weak against the sight of fire and is sometimes undependable when a massive monster comes out of the bushes, but strong when it comes to speed, agility, and healing. Though most of the time able to stand up for herself, she can get shy depending on the current curcumstances.- Cutie mark- Her Cutie Mark is a Red Cross.

- QuickClaw- Earth Pony- Colt- Personality- QuickClaw has always been hasty and trying to get things done fast. No matter if it's work, Slicing some invasive species in half, or simply eating. He has a soft side, but rarely shows it. He is weak against helpless looks, but strong against anything that has even the IDEA of hurting his friends. This helps him on the field alot because normally, there is something willing to make a tasty stew out of the pony next to him. Normally, he is vigilent, but does space out at times when he thinks of back home, in PonyVille.- Cutie Mark- His Cutie Mark is a Two Claws striking.

Type-
- Grimdark(ish)
- Adventure
- Action

Plot-
- A small meteor made of iron falls from orbit being there since Luna was sent to the Moon
- A tiny "Animal" crawls out of Meteor With a destructive purpose
- Enters The EverFree Forest To begin the invasion
- Grows and mulitplies like parasprites except WORSE
- Becomes Planetary Invasion Force and goes out to destroy the world
- Destroys most of Equestria as the four ponies are forced to watch their homes be destroyed, leaving only barren wastelands and tiny settlements
- The 2 colts RailWind and QuickClaw and the 2 fillies GinWeave and MediBolt Band together to find the source of invasive species to put an end to the destruction and domination of the new race
- They adventure parts of Equestria where Recent attacks and gatherings of the new creature have been sighted/reported
- The Band Finally PinPoint the EverFree forest after Waging war against 100k's of these creatures and destroying creature settlement(ish) locations
- The Ponies fight the Massive Queen With everything they got leading to a costly victory
- The Band goes back to their home towns to Rebuild the towns and the nature/wildlife
- Epilouge

Etc Details-
- Describe where ponies got their skills
- Pony Backgrounds should be included
- Tell what the creatures are
- Explain why the Ponies are doing what they are doing
- Give not good, not excellent, but EPIC details!
- Make sure it has chapters
- The plot should be really good!
- Should have some funny parts in it (Keep the readers attention!)
- Captivating beggining and an excellent ending
- Heck, who knows if I'll do a sequel...

Augh that whole thing took me awhile to figure out. Any questions, I'm looking for some help writing it... unfortunately I don't have a google account... opinions anyone?

I didn't take as much time developing the plot as much as the characters, thus I am highly open to adjustments and approvements ( you get what I mean) As alas, I want this to be pretty awesome. That's just the stencil outline.

>>102310
OC, most likely.
Lucian would be Shining Armor, and his and Twilight's relationship would be that of brother and sister, as opposed to lovers like in the game.

>>101893
I just wanted to comment on this idea. Doctor Breene had a history with the Combine, because he worked at Black Mesa and played a crucial role in the events that lead to the Combine showing up on Earth and the seven hour war. What does Mayor Mare do? Are you simply putting her in the executive office of the citadel because she's the closest character you could think of to Breene? You say that the combine needs someone they can control being a leader, but how exactly do they decide upon Mayor Mare? I say, put an OC there: one who worked as an administrator in some sort of defunct experimental magic R&D firm. If you absolutely must use the mayor, explain the escalation of power and give better justification for the Combine's appointment of her so it doesn't seem that you're just force-fitting her into that role.

The story also needs more Dog, and Fluttershy teaming up with Dog as part of the rebellion against the Combine. A minor exploration of sentimentality towards machines, as part of a Fluttershy-Dog subplot, might also be in order.

Ideas without responses:
>>99729 | >>101848 | >>101895 | >>102193 | >>102339
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc6MQ&ifq

Thank you Demetrius.

>>99729
I may not be the best person to do much at all... BUT, I like the idea. the discord x Luna thing... kind of creepy, but I like it. The idea about the military war fair between the 2 places, and Equestria being vital to either side was interesting. Though I still don't quite get what "puppeteer" means, the idea is solid. Though you may want to seek attention from a better person than I, I say that it is pretty neat and you should keep trying for more help on it! Go for the sky.

>>102216

At the risk of beating this particular discussion to death, my advice would be to go ahead and write it. The act of writing a story has value, regardless of whether or not you make it on EqD.



I'm starting serious work on a story that's been on the back burner for months. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I think it'll be fun (and perhaps theraputic) to write. However, I realized rather recently my story is an unintentional adaptation of Past Sins. One of my lingering fears is that it will be immediately dismissed as "Eh, it's Past Sins, but with X instead of Y" (it's not). Regardless of this obstacle, it's important to me that I write this story, so I'm pressing onward.

If you're having fun with it, and you think your idea is unique enough to keep going, go for it. What do you have to lose?



>>102256
I'm not gonna lie: I don't like that idea.
Admittedly, I'm a little picky (I feel like most of my posts on this thread boil down to "YOUR IDEA SUXX0RZ, WRITE IT THIS WAY"), but I see two big flaws in your idea.

First off, it might be difficult for people to get the "jokes" without at least some knowlege of typefaces. For example, why is a mixed-serif couple wrong? What is a serif, anyways? I, brokenimage, know the answers to these questions, but not everyone will, and reading frequent explanations will get very old, very quickly.

The other problem I see is the font switch itself. I don't like being reminded I'm reading a story--it breaks the immersion, and keeps me less involved in what's happening. With frequent font changes, along with associated analysis ("Hm, this character is using...Times New Roman, I think? That means he's probably dignified and a little stuffy...") would be very distracting.

If you could make it work, though, you have potential for a very strong story. The basic plot (someone has a mental disorder(?) that causes him to interpret the spoken word as a typeface) might even work out well as a non-pony story. The pony elements were few and far between, as I recall--why not make it a story about a guy living in New York, or something? That way, you could perhaps get it published. If it's written well enough, I could see a typography magazine snapping it up (Do they even have those? I don't know.)

(on a technical note: Gdocs supports, like, five fonts, and you can't expect readers to have all the fonts you want installed on their computer. If you want to distribute this story online, I would suggest writing this on your own machine, then saving it as a .pdf and senting it out. That way, all your fonts and formatting and stuff will be preserved, no matter what the user's computer is doing)

>>102339
...I'm sorry to say, but I don't think I can help you with this. I'm not sure if we can help you with it.

Your plot is very vague. All I got were "Super Parasprites eat Equestria. Stuff happens and the ponies win. Epic ending." That gives us nothing to work with. In my experience, limited though it is, this thread is generally a question-and-answer place. People will say "What do you think of my idea?" or "How should I handle this situation?" You're essentially asking us to write your story for you--and to make it epic.

Also, your mechanics drove me crazy. Your capitalization of random words is distracting. Your OCs names also need spaces--"GinWeave" sounds like a corporation, while "Gin Weave" (with a space) sounds like an actual name. Not a very "pony" name, but a name nonetheless.

On that note: I glanced through your characters, and they sound like they jumped out of an RPG--including the standard class distribution (Fighter, Mage, Medic, and Thief). Also, (in-show) ponies don't use weapons, and certainly not human-specific weapons like staffs or claws. In short, your ponies don't feel like ponies to me.

And where do the names come from? Gin Weave had nothing to do with gin or weaving. Pony names generally have something to do with their talent or personality--for example, Fluttershy has a hard time flying (she "flutters") and is very shy, while Rainbow Dash trails rainbows behind her as she flies, and also flies very fast (she "dashes"). Two cool-sounding words do not a pony name make.

I apologize if I sound overly harsh, but "Make it epic" is (generally) not what we do here.

My advice at this point is to keep a word doc on your desktop. Start with the outline you have, and think about your story. As you get the idea for a scene, plug it into the outline. Continue fleshing out scenes until you have something of a continuous narrative (i.e. the beginning, the end, and how to get between the two), then start writing. Even if you don't have a whole lot to write, the act of writing the outline will help you get more ideas (This is how I write, by the way--and it's worked out well for me).

If you want someone to write the story for you, I think you're out of luck. I know of a single user who does such a thing (his name escapes me), but I don't think he's willing to do the epic-possibly-with-a-sequel story you want. If you want to go that route, work out your idea better, then approach someone you know or admire and ask them if they want to collaborate. You two could write together.

Also, like I said, your ponies feel very JRPG-y. Why not put them in an RPG instead of a fanfic? If you get your story fleshed out enough, you could perhaps scrounge up a team (or break down and buy RPGMaker) and go to town.

I hope this mess was helpful.

TL;DR: Your story is too vague for us to really help, and you're going to have a hard time getting someone to write it for you. Flesh it out more and come back.

>>99729

(Thanks for pointing this out, Rintis--I forgot about this one)

Just a quick thought--Tatrarus unilaterally moving to protect Equestria seems rather...altruistic of them. Perhaps their motives are not as charitable as they've led Equestria to believe?

>>102368
your welcome. I wondered that too. Though i wouldn't phrase it the same way. :3

>>102366
Thanks for the advice. It was on my desktop from CELESTIA knows when. I actually kind of put it on here just for it to be here. See opinions and such! Such a long and helpful opinion will better myself as a writer and will help me write a better plot. So, thank you.

>>102366
Firstly, thanks heaps for the feedback. So to address the concerns you raised...

>First off, it might be difficult for people to get the "jokes" without at least some knowlege of typefaces.
The typeface characteristics I hope to have linked closely to their characters. From a third-person perspective, it would not appear at all very odd how he reacts about these people---Pinkie Pie is incredibly annoying, Granny Smith boring (to him), etc. The reaction to a sans x serif couple is akin to a soccer mum seeing his son bring a boy home. The language I use in the narration will not refer to fonts or font names at all, so knowing anything about fonts should not be an entry barrier to the story.

>The other problem I see is the font switch itself. I don't like being reminded I'm reading a story--it breaks the immersion, and keeps me less involved in what's happening. With frequent font changes, along with associated analysis ("Hm, this character is using...Times New Roman, I think? That means he's probably dignified and a little stuffy...") would be very distracting.
I would have the reaction be to the character rather than the font. See: Pinkie Pie shows up. The reaction is not to the font per se but her personality, in a sense that she embodies Comic Sans. The trick here is certainly going to be in execution, for sure.

>why not make it a story about a guy living in New York, or something?
With pony, I only have to create one character (maybe a second for the Palatino pony). The fun is in applying font characteristics to the ponies in Ponyville. Is it personifying the font, or fontifying the pony? Heh.

>on a technical note: . . .
I've worked all the kinks of the technical side of it out. It'll be a pdf on my dropbox (See http://dl.dropbox.com/u/68611394/the_typographer.pdf). The only thing that's a bit of a tizzy is that using different fonts on the same line is hideous, so I can't use any "said" tags for speech that isn't the narrator's. However, those shouldn't be too necessary since the reader should be able to know which font is for which pony. The logistics of that I'll need to keep an eye on, though.

Another element which I sort of forgot: he considers the Helveticans an TNRians very boring. He'll at some point be rather crass towards Twilight about speaking in such a plain voice (Helvetica). The irony in it, I think, is that Charter too is a very plain, boring textbook font. I think that a lot of people also seem to think this way---think that they are the centre of the universe and are especially special, when they're really just another shade of grey.

Now I feel like the metaphor wankery here may be getting out of control.

>>102256
> Pinkie Pie shows up, talking in Comic Sans, and Charter is absolutely reviled. Still, cheap shots at Comic Sans aren't really very witty, so I don't really want to belabour that scene too much.
Comic Sans doesn't get nearly the respect it deserves.
Just ask it: http://vimeo.com/17450666

>>102373
All the more reason to make Pinkie Pie embody Comic Sans. Heh.

How about a fic where just freaking everything goes to hell? Anything that could have went wrong did. Just throwing an idea out there.

Nightmare Moon escaped at the last second, and is still on the loose and is converting ponies to her cause for power.
The Diamond Dogs start coming out from underground, splintering off and joining whichever cause looks the most beneficial to them. Some join the good guys, but most join Nightmare Moon or Chrysalis with the promise of the gems under Canterlot.
Discord was never sealed away, and is terrorizing ponykind as his influence spreads because of the general chaos happening everywhere.
Queen Chrysalis just attacked Equestria without all the trickery, and anybody could be a changeling without having the spell Twilight used on them cast to make sure.

Shining Armor is in charge of the remaining royal guards, the elements try to regroup and try to strengthen the bonds of their friendship for the elements to work despite there being more reasons for paranoia every day, and maybe an increasingly weak Celestia who's just trying to keep her remaining loyal subjects together.

If anyone wants it, be my guest.

Featuring Twilight Sparkle. Just came up with this one.
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/28716

>>102403
While reading your sketch, a term popped into my head that you might find use for.
Wild Talents is Charles Fort's 1932 book on the paranormal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Talents
The sort of phenomena he describes are freakish and unpredictable, much in line with what you seem to have in mind.

>>102370

Wow, that was a lot nicer of a response than I was expecting.

I just had another thought: The Ponyville swarm of parasprites wasn't a proper swarm--it was a single parasprite that happened to meet Fluttershy and her apples.

What if, instead of evil space parasprites, it's the Ponyville brand of parasprites (the kind that eat non-food items), swarming for real? IRL locust swarms cause unimaginable damage--imagine that, but they eat everything, down to bare rock.

(perhaps Twilight's spell affected the Parasprites' biology, and the Ponyville parasprites have been "breeding"--thus, there's now millions of parasprites that eat everything--and they're leaving the forest with the express purpose of feeding)

Also, like I said, your OCs feel like JRPG characters. Could you perhaps work them into a crossover?

>>102413
> (perhaps Twilight's spell affected the Parasprites' biology, and the Ponyville parasprites have been "breeding"--thus, there's now millions of parasprites that eat everything--and they're leaving the forest with the express purpose of feeding)
...
I'll just leave you with this timeless classic:
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/8.04/joy_pr.html

Also, you've been a great help in this thread. Thank you.

>>102413
Yeah, yeah... I'm liking it. I guess Crossover, grimdark, etc kind of thing, that is what your getting at right? heh heh heh. After school today I'll make some adjustments on the plot. I say we start there and then work up.from plot to character. What do you say? I like that it is the Ponyville type except, more wide spread. Hah, this opens up a lot BrokenImage. Alright, here is what's running through my head. Natural parasprite adapts to ( something ) thus allowing it to breed. It also allows them to grow bigger. The characters can be from a game like Champions: Return to Arms or maybe something else like that. TeS IV Oblivion or Skyrim. I love those games. And demetrius, I'll go read that fiction later :D

Hello everypony,

a WHILE back, I posted a story pitch that I could write, involving Dash losing her "awesomeness"(going through a mental breakdown and refusing to fly anymore) after losing a race to Fluttershy. I can figure out a way for this to actually be possible (it involves tight turns and a fear/adrenaline rush), and have everything else planned out, except for one thing: How would Fluttershy accept a race challenge from Rainbow Dash. Why does RD want to challenge FS? Be careful here, if Dash challenges FS because she thinks Fluttershy has potential (like in the episode Hurricane Fluttershy), she wouldn't be shocked enough by her loss for her to go through her mental breakdown/no-fly phase.

>>102480

Maybe she was just bored or wanted to show off a new move or needed an ego boost after a 'blah' day.

>>102480
The hard part would be getting Fluttershy to accept, for sure. She hates public attention and has major performance anxiety. The race would have to have almost no witnesses for her to even consider it. But if it's just the two of them, then losing wouldn't be as big a blow to Dash.

But, while we're borrowing from Tortoise and the Hare, we can borrow from the Marx Brother's "Day at the Races". Motivate the slow horse - ahem, pony - with some external trigger. What could make Fluttershy move fast, I wondered: a dragon.

Now, how would a dragon get into the mix? What if it's not a dragon, but a griffin pulling a prank on both Fluttershy AND Rainbow Dash?

Gilda sets up the race, just barely convincing Fluttershy to stand in at the last moment for a missing contestant (maybe herself - "ow. my wing.") then proceeds to make her think she's being chased by a dragon, without Dash knowing.

End result, during the final straight-away, Fluttershy overtakes Rainbow Dash. Even after letting Dash in on the joke, Dash would still be faced with the fact that Fluttershy DID beat her.

Do with her as you will after that.

Best I could come up with to make so unlikely a situation plausible.

>>102484
Wow, that was pretty awesome. Fly away, dragons coming after! I like it!

>>102364
>>102368
HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE NOTICED ME.

That being said, I appreciate the both of your input. In case you were wondering, the "puppeteers" idea was derived from EurobeatBrony's "Discord:"
>I'm not a fan of puppeteers, but I've a nagging fear someone else is pullin' at the strings.
And now that you mention it, yes, this is Tartarus we're talking about. Rushing to defend Equestria would seem a bit out of character for a conquering empire. If any of you have played Civilization V, this will make sense to you. I envision Neighdes the Conqueror as acting similar to Montezuma: a steadfast, worthy, powerful ally right up until the moment he stabs you in the back and steamrolls his army through your empire. Perhaps Tartarus could demand some form of tribute in return for their assistance.

Well, thank you, gentlemen. This has given me a few ideas.

>>102480
>>102484

Oh, and another option is that someone like Gilda cheats on behalf of Fluttershy, making it SEEM like she won. This might be even more believable, as then she's not actually beating Dash - which a lot of people would have a problem with - but Dash can still think she was beat.

Maybe combine this with my previous idea to make something that's more believable.

>>102438

I was just tossing the crossover idea out there. It sounds like you've put a lot of work into your characters, but they don't feel like ponies to me. I was thinking your cast might fit better in a crossover, rather than a regular pony story. Perhaps put your cast in an RPG crossover, and use the mane six in your parasprite story?

To be clear: when I suggested the parasprites were "breeding," I simply meant that they were reproducing in the normal way--eating food and spitting out new 'sprites (rather than, y'know, breeding). So, now there's a proper swarm of Ponyville 'sprites that are ready to make a mess of things.

Also, it sounds like you're asking me to help workshop your idea further. I can offer isolated ideas (like I've been doing), but I'm not willing to go farther than that. I already have a couple fics I'm working on, and I'm actually in the middle of a collab right now. I'm glad I can help, and I'm flattered you're asking me, but I'll have to (pre-emtively) decline.

>>102509
The isolated ideas have been working REAL well. Thank you. If you can keep offering them, we can get a real nice plot. The RPG crossover idea was awesome and now I have some more material to work with. You've been a huge help so far. Although I can't get Applejack, or Rarity, I know Fluttershy pretty well, along with rainbow dash. So I can add them. Twilight should be pretty simple and pinky pie is the easiest. Thank you. In a bit, I'll add to my document and show you just to part I edited.

>>102500
If you need anything, talk to me. While working on mine, helping others will help the stress roll off, right?

>>102511
Er, I'll show a list and a few other things

Alright, here is the list of the ideas of possibilities.

- Crossover Rpgish type... fun fun
- Parasprite mutation allows bigger badder parasprites... great
- Mabey include 4/6 of the mane 6?
- Keep characters, they are good for the crossover
- mane 6 = parasprite story?
- mane 6 + OC = parasprite story?
- Doesn't have to be the most awesome thing ever - just satisfying.
- wide-spread invasion
- parasprite numbers in the millions with purpose of only eating ( Forest = not enough resources )
- Oc = parasprite story?
- mabey Parasprite crossover = awesome?

>>102511
>>102513
>>102515
Why the heck are you replying in three seperate posts? Put them all in one and stop spamming.
...
Please.

Edit:
>>102516
>New pic in light of fourth spam post

.>>102517
I have a... tendency to do that. Thanks for the reminder Ion-Sturm. Now then, I will now go take a break from /fic/ and head over to Eqd, Da, and Tumblr

>>102484
As much effort you put into it, I'm afraid I can't use that.

First, I want Fluttershy to win this unaided in any way. That way Dash loss to her not only perfectly fair, but the fact that she lost to her without any aid really brings her down.

Second, this story isn't about cheating. I planned this story to be about Dash not being herself after losing the race. Plus, Fluttershy never cheats. Gilda is not going to be involved in this.

However, the dragon is what I have planned. This being an aerial race, maybe Derpy, while delivering mail finds a dragon mask, and puts it on. She veers towards the final stretch, and you can add 2 and 2 and 2 together from there.

>>102547

If I may: having Derpy accidentally scare Fluttershy like that seems rather artificial.

I would have it be an intentional prank. My first thought is that Pinkie Pie knows RD is going to be doing something on the race course, but doesn't know exactly what or when. She decides to try and scare her, and hides in the bushes with a dragon mask. For some reason, she gets the timing wrong (Shows up a little too late? Gets distracted at the wrong moment [perhaps she's lecturing an accomplice on the "proper" way to prank, or why they're pranking RD with a dragon mask?]) and misses RD--but scares Fluttershy instead.

Perhaps Pinkie wants to prank RD with the dragon mask because, no matter what brave facade RD puts on, she's actually scared of dragons (as demonstrated at the end of "Dragonshy"--when Pinkie does her dragon roar, RD "Faints" like Fluttershy). Perhaps Pinkie wants to put RD in her place, maliciously or no.

Also, thinking about their motivation behind the race--Fluttershy doesn't seem like the type to want to compete, especially after her behavior in "Hurricane Fluttershy" (where she has very low self-esteem about her flying activities).
What if they're not racing? Perhaps they're out for a morning "jog" together, or RD is demonstrating an "obstacle course." Perhaps they're out casually flying, and RD says, somewhat jokingly, "Race you to that [landmark]!" and takes off (If you're having Pinkie Pie prank Fluttershy, choose that moment to jump out--she's just two seconds two slow to catch her intended prey). I think RD is prideful enough that if another pony is faster than her, even in a non-competitive setting, she'd still be deeply hurt.

Also: bonus points if you can somehow work in a Sonic Flutterboom :)

>>102562
Have Fluttershy see the mask and cause her to be so frightened that she takes off in a yellow blur, passing Dash in an adrenaline-fueled fear flight. Dash is far too gung-ho to be scared by a bloody mask. That entire idea is flawed at the base level.

Also, you could set it up so that it is competative; Fluttershy wants to be a better flyer, and Dash challengers her to a race to test her mettle. It's a friendly competition, but not one Rainbow could ever expect to lose.

>>102563
That's exactly it. It needs to be competitive, Rd can't be scared by the mask. And I think I found a way.

After losing ground with a lot of undershooting turns RD was going too fast for. She manages to pull ahead in towards the final stretch. It involves diving down through the streets of Ponyville where some random pony casually puts on a dragon mask after RD passes, but before Fluttershy. She sees it, and the fear/adrenaline rush speeds up FS to a pink and yellow bullet that leaves RD in the dust and reaches the finish by a very noticeable margin.

As for Rainbow's early mistakes, She gets stuck in tree branches, undershoots corners (crashing into clouds), performs loops to avoid obstacles that actually add distance, and gets mud dirt in her eyes (not wearing goggles). Fluttershy avoids all these by flying slower.
I know that these are all sound like rookie mistakes for a near-professional flyer, but Dash doesn't realize it.

>>102617
Too many mistakes. Have her show off. What's the use of winning if you can't flaunt your skills a bit? If she leaves Fluttershy in the dust, there's no sport in it for her.

>>102617

Again, your timining with the mask feels artificial to me--he just happens to put on the mask after RD comes by, but before Fluttershy does? Doesn't seem realistic.

Perhaps the pony is wearing the mask already, and RD either doesn't notice it (flying too fast or something) or doesn't care. Perhaps there's a cart or a store selling stuffed animals, one of them being a (surprisingly realistic) stuffed dragon. Maybe there's a colletion of objects (green sequined fabric, an open flame, a sail) that Fluttershy mistakes for a dragon.

>>102519
Oh... really? I appreciate the offer, Rintis. I would've replied sooner, but I didn't notice until now. How can I get in contact with you?

>>102670
Hmm... got skype or steam?

I had this idea... and I wanted to use it. However, I have too many projects already. So here, I would love to see someone write this.

Derpy makes a strange device. Twilight discovers the device and is determined to figure out what it is. It frustrates her to no end until... it's revealed that it's a toaster... and Twilight burnt the toast.

>>102735
http://steamcommunity.com/id/conchshellthegeek7/
There you go. Go crazy.

>>102766
I have a few too many projects myself at the moment, so I can't puck this up. But I would like to suggest some corrolaries.
>Bonus points if the device is a gigantic, overcomplicated Rube Goldberg machine.
>Bonus points if Twilight tries to take the device apart in her efforts, but Derpy stops her.
>Bonus points if the device has an unintentional secondary function that proves to be incredibly useful, like generating electricity.

>>102784
Steam Name is Kuyrissen

We'll work on your story. ( Done posting for the night )

Hello good people!

I am looking for ideas for my story The Five Ponies You Meet in Heaven. The premise is the same as the book it's based on, where [?]Twilight and her friends die in a hotel fire and meet five ponies who have influenced their lives[?]. I prefer someone who has read the original work by Mitch Albom. I just need help with [?]finding five original stories instead of using the ones from the book. I want them to be more than the "slice-of-life" lessons that you would find in your run-of-the-mill episode.[?]

Here is what I have written so far:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/18U5li5xXIu_8boPjHEOwlHn2AUPZQ51KCD1qQ6-KPUo/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cep3dYqaKRAFBt7WLCYZWcxQtNDulfA1x0FfVtsghrU/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c0I-aYTX4_XLT0H43bKNAAcMmsJWijsY3hk342p11Z4/edit

My Ideas Document:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GLxguNqpn_0hiOoDjoMnITb41LrwKDmMdNy89h0TILs/edit

My email for those who are interested is [?]cejones90@gmail.com[?]

This is my first time here, so please tell me if I'm doing this right. Thanks!

p0n00b.

...and I already botch the spoilers. I fail =(

Ok first time here, let's see if anyone thinks this could be an interesting idea; the characters of Drakengard and/or Neir have ended up in Esquestria via teleportation snafu. Unfortunately, the Grotesqueries have taken a shine to this newly discovered world. The main challenge for this idea is keeping the character interaction in-character. Can someone help me get this story off the ground?

>>103058
Story ideas are like kissing: You go 90% of the way, and leave the last 10% for whoever is helping you; too little, and your helper won't bother.
All you have to offer is "Universe X meets Universe Y, Z happens." The only reply you'll get to that is a resounding "Meh".
Are we talking Nier Gestalt and Replicant here, or something else entirely? Because if it's the former, you should really write it around the amazing music in the game.
>Goes to listen to Temple of Drifting Sands for the thousandth time

While writing, rewriting, and rewriting my chrysalis/Trixie fic I've got this one idea stuck in my head. It would focus on an OC psychologist character (probably named simple psych or something similar), curing Screwloose of his schizophrenia (Ap psych students amateur diagnosis) and then needing to find a new place in society for him (since his special talent appears to be being schizophrenic). I just want to know if this is an idea worth following up on or if its total crap or if its already been done. Thanks

>>103068
>Screwloose
>Him
Where the heck did you get that idea from? Screwloose's design is obviously a mare's.

>>103068
> (since his special talent appears to be being schizophrenic)
How do you reach this conclusion?
Is it the screw on her butt? Because I have other theories behind that, none of which have to do with her mental state.

This is an even worse conclusion than Diamond Tiara's talent being wearing jewelry.

>>103063
Hmm... I was thinking of using Gestalt for the Nier'verse and I have several plot threads swirling around in my mind, some for character development, like a conversation between Caim and Shining Armor concerning their sisters, (I'm going to be including the canceled prequel manga in the backstory), Weiss and Emil's backstories, and Furiae getting some MAJOR characterization via a pact. Others include Tyrann's past and his possible connection to the group that stole Angleus' corpse during the Legion War, Inuart ending up being separated from his 'beloved Goddess' by the D-Shift and him terrorizing the countryside on dragon-back trying to find her. As for the D-Shift itself, well, I have my ideas but I need to develop them a little more.

>>103063
Also, sorry for not elaborating. The original idea sounded a lot better in my head. Then again, I guess they all do.

>>103071
Yeah I really screwed up there (bu dum tish). Good thing I haven't started writing yet. I guess the hair through me off as to me at least it's very masculine.
>>103074
I can accept that critism to a point. Gleaning is what I'm basing my knowledge off here. Having a name like Screwloose, acting like you have "A screw loose in your head", being institutionalized, and having a screw cutie mark makes it so it isn't exactly the largest stretch of the imagination to assume she has had this diesease since day one. Still I could be wrong. Maybe she's just really a good construction worker who happened to lose their mind.

But still I haven't gotten a real answer of whether or not it is a good idea.

>>103119
Through! Really? Sometimes, I feel like I need to go back to elementary school.

>>102438
Uh... Why The Future Doesn't Need Us is not fiction per se. It's a very insightful article on Wired magazine from April 2000 (I 8.04) written by Bill Joy, co-founder of Sun Microsystems, developer of the Berkeley Standard Distribution of Unix, and inventor of the famous and ubiquitous Vi text editor. I thought the article highly relevant to the discussion. The gist of it is that basically, if parasprites self-replicating automatons get out of hand, we're all fucked.

This seems to fit better here than it does in the scene writing thread...
I'm working on my Old Celestia fic now. In it, Celestia feels the weight of her 1200+ years, and feels lonely and isolated. Part of what I wanted to do was to make her more of a tragic figure--"Sad-lestia" if you will.
As an experiment, I re-worked a scene from the show, to try and make Celestia more sad and lonely. It's the scene where Celestia assigns Twilight to live in Ponyville, from the season 1 opener. This is the first time that Celestia has really reached out to someone in a long, long time.

There's a few things I'm not perfectly happy with (including a logical contradiction) but it's a rough draft, so I'm letting it slide.

My question is, does this scene work? That is, is it turn Celestia into Sad-lestia without breaking canon too badly?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_TjzvCnnMISSFFxRys13hYLSMeRldP7s_coHTZXg2zM/edit

Thanks for your help, everypony!

>>103074
Story ideas that haven't been responded to (with more than just a reaction image):
>>99729 | >>101848 | >>101895 | >>102193 | >>102915 | >>102396 | >>102516 | >>102915

Did you click the "read more" link expecting more?

Haha, made you look.
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