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File 133452854612.png - (119.62KB , 794x1006 , ponyception_by_deathpwny-d4tbevx.png )
97121 No. 97121
#Discussion #General, Story Ideas
Hello, and welcome to the Story Forge, /fic/'s story idea and brainstorming general thread!

If you have a story idea that you do not wish to write, or are looking for a seed of an idea upon which to build your world, consider this place a literary take-a-penny jar. We can also help flesh out your story ideas, but do suggest that once you get the ball rolling, to move the conversation to one of our many fine Review Threads. If you see someone asking for fic ideas, or posting a few, please direct them here.

Previous thread: >>91817
Image source: http://deathpwny.deviantart.com/art/Ponyception-291106077
http://inception.davepedu.com/
Unspoiler all text  • Expand all images  • Reveal spoilers
>> No. 97123
I responded to nearly all of the ideas in the queue in the previous thread. If you've submitted an idea, go and check the previous thread and see if you got responded to.

Incidentally, one of the ideas that hasn't gotten any love is one of mine:
>>96333
>>96607
>> No. 97128
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97128
Neglected ideas from the previous thread: >>91908 >>96192 >>96607 (last time I'm posting them; now it's this thread)

"Queue" (list of ideas/inquiries that haven't gotten feedback, just to make them easier to find) http://bit.ly/I2VsAE
Been waiting for feedback on an idea? Can't find it in the list? Put it in yourself using the form (http://bit.ly/HPf2hS) so it's easier to find.
bit.ly'd because Kusaba-X's URL parser is retarded in that it takes effect after linebreaks are calculated.
>> No. 97129
Never got past the summary because i cant write fiction so...

There are many wild places in equestria, which contain untold wonders, and untold dangers. There are also ponies whose special talent is to navigate these places and bring back the unique items found within.
>> No. 97132
>>97129

Daring Do.
>> No. 97137
Not sure where I'd ask this, but might as well...

I've had a story planned for a while, a story about Celestia taking on the form of a normal unicorn to be able to experience Canterlot without everypony getting uptight and nervous around her. The "swerve" would be that the form she takes is actually Fleur De Lis, and the story would go into both the consequences of her having fun in Canterlot, as well as the details behind meeting and becoming friends with Fancy Pants.

Well, I just discovered that a story very smilier to this already exists, and has existed for quite some time. In fact, it's a fairly popular story called "Sunny Skies All Day Long".

I'm just wondering...if I eventually do write this story, would it just be considered a ripoff of that story? Is it something where, since the general plots are so similar, people would dismiss it, and I should move on to one of the other stories I have? Or do you think people would still be interested in it, since my story would skew more in terms of her keeping the disguise up as things happen, less wacky comedy than Sunny Skies All Day Long, and would be multiple chapters instead of just a one-off?

Any advice would be great here.
>> No. 97141
>>97128

You forgot >>97005 as another neglected :(
>> No. 97142
>>97141

Well, that's not really a question.

Are you asking for someone to write a fic like that, or are you asking for ideas for such a fic?

This thread is primarily for the latter.

Also, read >>97128 carefully.
>> No. 97145
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97145
>>97141
That's because the post began with a link. I and I glossed over it as if it were a response to something that wasn't a story idea because the post link number didn't match any idea posts in the thread. I dunno. Thread moves almost as fast as TTG, I have less time on my hands nowadays, and I'm currently the only one keeping track of it, so it has to be quick, easy and brain-free (I mean, just look at some of the inane summaries I wrote in the spreadsheet for story ideas; I cannot brain to save my life).

Also, yeah. Not much to go by. I'd put it in as a request, but it seems a few posts in the thread are enough to draw attention to it from someone who might be interested in fleshing it out into a full-blown origin story.

It's Faustmare from the End of Ponies fanon regarding Ponyville's origin.
>> No. 97146
>>97115
First off, the reason part three is so confusing is that it's a lot more dense than the other two parts. There's a lot of subplots and a lot of additional characters, as well as the fact that I didn't bother to write the full resolution.

To address concerns:
>Also, it sounds like even one or two pegasi massively tip the balance one way or the other in at least one battle. This doesn't seem realistic to me--even with guns, they're only one or two extra soldiers. They only way I could see them having a significant effect on the battle is if they use their "razor wings" (seen in "The Secret of My Excess") on the enemy soldiers, which might get....messy.

First off, razor wings are dumb. So incredibly dumb. Want to break a wing? Slam into an object at over a hundred miles and hour!

Remember how planes were used in World War I? They were essentially the best spy a field officer could have. One quick flight over the enemy lines and you could know almost everything about their encampments, numbers, and heirarchy. Pegasus work the same way. Without a pegasus, a commander relies on the reports of the officers, which are relayed by messengers. He has to pull together a vision of the entire battlefront based on the reports of the officers.

A pegasus simplifies the matter and makes the reports almost instantaneous by comparison. The commander gets one report of the entire battlefront, as well as what the enemy is planning, what reinforcements may be coming, and whether orders are being followed. To say that this could make a commander ten times as effective would be an understatement.

Not only that, but pegasus can manipulate weather. Cannons aren't very useful if they can't be forded across a flooded river, or are mired in a swamplike terrain. Crops would be at the mercy of Cloudsdale's whims. (Which is the reason there's a drought in Indiana at the beginning of the story.)

>..then, parts 2 and 3. Part 2 seemed to lose focus a bit--I was confused by a lot of your plot. Also, it was very...convenient...that Cloudsdale happened to be wherever the action was. That part seemed rather artifical, as well. Finally, it felt like Boson was supposed to be a stand-in for another prominent historical figure, but I couldn't figure out who. that feels like bad writing to me.

Boson is not a significant historical figure.

As for Cloudsdale, it would split into West and East due to the sudden explosion in population caused by industrialization, as well as the invention of the propeller. West (American) Cloudsdale would remain the semi-biggish city it was before the industrial revolution. Eastern Cloudsdale would fly over the various countries, until internal tension forced it into international waters. As for why the Baltic? Because Russia wasn't storing massive artillery batteries nearby.

>Part 3, felt like almost complete nonsense--Logos, Ethos, Pathos? Really? Why not Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

A) Symbolic importance.

Logos = Science
Pathos = Culture
Ethos = Military

They're the three different types of superiority needed to win total warfare.

B) They were named after the Canons of rhetoric because they represented the changing times after WWII. Wars between major powers would result in the end of the world. Rhetoric became much more important.

>Luna and Celestia are artifical ponies bred by the Soviets?

This is elaborated further in the actual chapter. It was a joint US-Soviet project, desperately designed by the U.N. to keep peace between the two.

>Members of the main cast (Derpy, Vinyl Scratch) are present in the sixties?

I should probably have mentioned this in the brief. At the very very end, it's stated that Celestia goes beserk with her powers during a global magonuclear war. There were large amounts of ambient magic present, which alters magic the same way radiant electricity alters electronics. Celestia was trying to kill them but inadvertently sent them over a thousand years into the future. Their memories are scrambled by the radiant magic.

>Why haven't we seen blown-up buildings or anything then?

Real buildings collapse in less than twenty years without being taken care of. It's likely that the subsequent Soviet invasion of America furthered this process.

>Also, the transition between Earth and Equestria was a little fuzzy--Celestia launches nukes. Suddenly, Equestria.

I'll go ahead and write a full history of the change.

>Finally, I'm not sure if I'm digging the whole Ponies on Earth thing.

It's not Ponies on Earth. It's Equestria is Earth.

>If there are flying, magical ponies on earth, why does the Civil War play out almost identically to the way it did in history?

Cloudsdale held the world's population of pegasus.

Magic only allows for telekinesis. Offensive magic is inefficient. Ergo, cannons and other artillery.

Ponies are bigger. There's a higher casualty proportion and a smaller wounded proportion. This is accounted for.

In fact, the only thing that would change is that pre-firearm warfare never changed from shield walls bashing into each other and that cavalry is more prevalent.

>Given the ponies' obsession with friendship, I would think they would prevent the war from happening in the first place: slavery isn't friendship, and I don't think they would tolerate it (besides, when Twilight can harvest nearly an entire apple orchard in seconds, is slavery even necessary?

They didn't have an obsession with friendship before Celestia created Equestria.

Do you really think that slaveowners would want to pay for that type of work? They'd just enslave unicorns (which they do).

>I would expect to see an alternate history, given all the cool things ponies can do.

There's two ceasefires in WWI. The battle of Gettysburg never happened. The Cold War turned hot. What do you mean by 'more of an alternat history'?
>> No. 97151
>>97146

>What do you mean by 'more of an alternate history'?

A more drastically altered history. In my mind, the presense of ponies would have a huge impact on history, and things would play out very differently. For example (shooting from the hip here), Cloudsdale becomes a major world power early on--after all, they control the weather, and, thus, transportation and crops, if nothing else. Human powers resent this influence, similarly to how kings resented the authority of the Catholic Church. As soon as they can, mankind tries to blow them out of the sky, thus sparking an international war.

Again, I'm just thinking off the top of my head here--but this is an attempt to figure out how ponies might affect history, if they were actually present. Your story feels to me like "History, but with Ponies"--an attempt to shoehorn ponies into modern history, without an attempt to actually integrate them into world events.

>Snap, Crackle, Pop
I understood the reference, but it just sounded...corny. Unless those are titles, I thought it was a little too convenient that three ponies with those names would be working together--It would be like if I had three ponies named "Earth", "Wind", and "Fire" form a soul band. Does that make sense?

>Enslaving unicorns
Slaveowners weren't inherently evil, and the purpose of slavery (at least initially) wasn't the slaves themselves--it was cheap labor. If a single unicorn can do the work of a hundred men in half the time for a tenth of the price, I, personally, would pay them their due and have them go on their way. That way, I wouldn't have to feed them, house them, or discipline them.

I apologize if this sounds confrontational: I'm just trying to call it as I see it. Once again, I feel your story has legs (especially part 1), but I see some big problems with your concept as you've explained it.

(Also, I had an idea after the last post. It sounds like the most powerful nuke technology are the C-Bombs, magically-powered nukes? Perhaps the detonation of so many C-Bombs is what changes the world--the high levels of magical exposure changes how the world works.)
>> No. 97153
>>97151
>In my mind, the presense of ponies would have a huge impact on history, and things would play out very differently. For example (shooting from the hip here), Cloudsdale becomes a major world power early on--after all, they control the weather, and, thus, transportation and crops, if nothing else.

There's one issue with this. If I did an alternate history that drastic, it would take much longer than 5,000 words to explain it, because people would assume X is the same as real history when X is really different and that's why Y happened which makes character Z do A. It would require a master writer to pull that off. And I am not a master writer.

>I understood the reference, but it just sounded...corny. Unless those are titles, I thought it was a little too convenient that three ponies with those names would be working together--It would be like if I had three ponies named "Earth", "Wind", and "Fire" form a soul band. Does that make sense?

They're all relatives.

>(Also, I had an idea after the last post. It sounds like the most powerful nuke technology are the C-Bombs, magically-powered nukes? Perhaps the detonation of so many C-Bombs is what changes the world--the high levels of magical exposure changes how the world works.)

Yep. That's why the remaining armies of the Soviets couldn't reach what would become Equestria: Discord and the D&D-esque creatures created by the exchange would kill any of them before they could get close. Essentially, these dangers caused the world to regress into a permanent middle-ages scenario. One that allows for the kind of isolated utopia that Equestria could exist in.
>> No. 97168
>>97142

Asking for someone to write a fic about it.
>> No. 97178
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97178
>>97168
Oh I'm sure it will happen sooner or later. To keep you occupied while you wait, I've got an idea: figure out exactly what you want to see in this fanfic.

You can start by first taking good look at that statue, and drawing as many conclusions, both those that are legitimate and those that are a stretch, about the pony it represents. Then, from those, think of a list of character attributes you believe could be ascribed to that pony.

Next, take a good look at Ponyville: its architecture, the city plan, the culture.

With those two in mind, it's an easy next step to start coming up with past historical events that lead to the birth of Ponyville. Don't pile all of them to the origin; the Statue of Liberty wasn't erected during the signing of the Declaration, after all. On the other hand, the statue doesn't have to be of the founder of Ponyville, unless it's canon that the statue actually is the founder of Ponyville (I dunno, I haven't been watching the second season as religiously as the first one, as enjoyable as it may be). Just think of the most subtle things that are most deeply ingrained into its culture / architecture, that ponies (and viewers) don't usually think about. Little quirky things. You'll get fanfic cred points for explaining tiny things and making a big deal out of subtleties. Come up with silly, wacky and over-the-top tall-tales and legends (they could be as short as five sentences) to explain them.

And then, you'll have a decent starting block for a story, if not a decent plan for one.

> usually posts with a Discord image, but couldn't resist using this one instead
>> No. 97180
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97180
>>97168
>Write my fic!
One day, a stonemason decided to made a statue for Ponyville gratis. It wasn't based on anything. Then they put it up. The end.
Now go away.
...
Please.

>>97178
Pretty much this.

A similar idea has already been made for the statues near Discord. A lot more potential in that anyways.
>> No. 97202
>>97132
is fiction as far as i can tell
>> No. 97211
>>97202

Whether or not she's fictional, Daring-Do is a dungeon diver--very similar to what you described. A dungeon-diving fic could use her as the main character and not lose a thing.

Also, related to the statue discussion: does anyone know of a fic about the "Victory" statue?
>> No. 97305
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97305
So, I had an idea for a quick one-shot that I'll try and knock out over the weekend.

Thing is, my ponies need guns. The best design I've seen for a pony-usable gun is in the pic--a shoulder-mounted weapon, with the trigger on a "bit" held in the mouth. I like this design, but it still seems really impractical--difficult to aim and reload. Any ideas for what a practical pony-gun would look like?


Also, a request. I'm losing my internet connection on Friday, and I'd like to get feedback on this ideas before I leave. If someone could answer this questions, as well as my earlier questions (>>96333 >>96607) in the very near future, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks everypony!
>> No. 97332
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97332
>>97305
I'm not very creative when it come to ponies and guns. The only thing I could think of would be a gun that uses a pedal as the trigger, but that gun would probably have to stay stationary. So I don't think that would be much help to you. Sorry. :/

Anyways, I've had an idea sort of stirring in my head for a while now. People are probably going to pass this up as another Dark story (and they'd be right), but I thought I'd share it and hear some feedback anyways.

Discord suddenly wakes up, finding himself in a dimly lit hallway, with no magic and only a lantern. (No, this is not an Amnesia crossover.) He runs across deranged and mutated versions of Celestia, Luna, and other ponies out to kill him. (Still not an Amnesia crossover.)

He eventually meets up with a bitter and sarcastic Pinkie Pie (now calling herself Pinkemina again) that helps him escape, and shows him the spread of the dark force that corrupted the Princesses. (And many more.)

But one of my biggest problems is figuring out what that dark force would be.
>> No. 97336
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97336
>>97332
Oh, and I should note, Discord is still acting like Discord. Making this a Dark/Comedy.
>> No. 97351
>>97305
as far as your weapon questions go, I suggest referencing Fallout Equestria for your needs, as it addresses not only stylistic matters, but usage of firearms for the different pony races as well.
Now, should you read it? Absolutely. Will you get it done by Friday? Not without crack. Actually, it's totally do-able
Check out the FOE wiki.
>> No. 97439
>>97332

Why has Discord suddenly woken up? That might be a good place to start trying to determine what the force is.

The first thing that came to mind is that the force is a thing that only Discord can fight--something like an extremely lawful force, that has imposed order on Equestria at the expense of free will.
>> No. 97445
>>97137
It's actually a fine idea, and you could totally do it. Make it a SEQUEL to Sunny Skies All Day Long. Use her experiences from that first episode King Henry 5-ing around Ponyville and build upon them with her new attempt to win respect from high-class citizens by her own merit.
>> No. 97474
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97474
A guardian-angel, episode-like fic, or a "you're more important than you think" fic (e.g. "The Why of Fry"), featuring Scootaloo. Scootaloo is down in the dumps with self-hate because of a mistake (or humiliation) and wishes she didn't exist. Her guardian angel shows up and gives her a look at what the world would be without her, and/or or a chance to save the world. This sort of thing been done at least once before in TV series, one of which I remember off the top of my head as being Rugrats (with Chuckie), and I'd love to see it in Pony. Here are a few points I think could be used:

- Without Scootaloo to stand up to Spoon and Tiara when they made fun of Applebloom, CMC's were never formed, and Applebloom leans on her big sister for confidence and help, becoming more clingy, antisocial and immature instead of gaining confidence through friends.
- Without Scootaloo, Sweetie Bell gets bored to tears and causes Rarity far more messes, trouble and headaches, and Rarity's business doesn't do as well because she's preoccupied with keeping an eye on her sister
- Without Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash is twice as reckless and rude, because she doesn't have anyone for whom to be a role model.
- Without Scootaloo, the bullies and gossip-girls of the school are far more emboldened to pick on blank flanks.
- Without Scootaloo, Spike isn't nearly as inspired to try new things. He secretly wanted to outclass her in seizing the day, which is why he told her about ziplining -- to make her feel like she hadn't lived yet.

I'm wondering what else could be used here. As for The Why of Scootaloo, it's gonna take lots and lots of absurdity. That I wish I could do well. Every time I try to be absurd I end up with world building ideas (i.e. Bloomberg & Little Strongheart shipping: >>57444 Rainbow Dash & coffee table shipping: >>51689). Giant genocidal brains and mass extinctions notwithstanding, I can't think of how to possibly make Scoots an ironic enigma; there's not much odd about her, besides being your run-of-the-mill tomboy filly pegasus who can't fly yet
>> No. 97484
>>97474

I'm sorry but it is impossible for me to read this and not think of the brutal subversion they pulled of this trope in Fairly Odd Parents.
>> No. 97509
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97509
>>97474

The first thing I thought of while reading this was "It's a Wonderful Life." In that film, we see the life of protagonist George Bailey, through the eyes of his guardian angel. When George contemplates suicide, his guardian angel appears and they talk about things; George complains that everyone would be better off without him. The angel allows him the chance to see just that: what life would be like in his hometown if he was never born. We're shown how certain key events are different because George wasn't there to participate--for example, he wasn't present to keep his younger brother from drowning, who, in turn, wasn't present to stop a kamikaze pilot from destroying a troop transport in WWII. If you haven't seen it already, look it up; it's one of my favorites. It's also the genesis of all these "Guardian Angel" stories you mentioned.

<ThinkingOutLoud>
So, if we want to follow the "It's a Wonderful Life" model, we need to see what Scootaloo does, and how things might be different if she didn't do them. Let's look at the wiki...

-Makes an (Accidental) appearance with the other CMC in Episode 1; they're all cowering under a table together
-Stands up for Applebloom at Diamond Tiara's Cutecenera(sp?).
- In "The Stare Master," The CMC break Fluttershy's table, then sneak out of the house to rescue the chickens. Did Scootaloo suggest either of these activities?
-She pulls the wagon with the supplies in "The Show Stoppers"; she also writes the song.
-She gets the others to go ziplining in "The Cutie Mark Chronicles"; it's due to her encouragement they go looking for the stories of the mane 6's cutie marks.
-Scootaloo hero-worships RD in "Owl's Well..."
-The CMC release Discord in the Season 2 opener.
-Scootaloo, with the other CMC, initially refuses, then fights over, Smarty Pants in "Lesson Zero."
-Scootaloo, dressed as a werewolf, goes trick-or-treating with Pinkie Pie in "Luna Eclipsed."
-Scootaloo goes bowling in "The Cutie Pox," which led to AB's depression about her cutie mark.
-Scootaloo is president (and presumably founder) of RD's fanclub in MMDW.
-Spike tries to steal her scooter in "Secret of My Excess."
-in "Family Appreciation Day," she encourages/enables Applebloom's attempts to deceive Cheerilee.
-Her tongue is stuck to the 8' candy cane in Hearth's Warming Eve.
-She provides encouragement (and the pegasus feather) to make the Love Poison in "Hearts and Hooves Day"; helps stall Cheerilee when they're trying to cure them.
-Jumps rope with Pinkie in "A Friend in Deed."
-With the other CMC, helps clean up a sidewalk in "It's About Time."
-Helps run the gossip column in "Ponyville Confidential."
-She also appears in part 1 and 2 of the season 2 finale.

So, if Scootaloo isn't around, how does that affect these incidents?

I'll pick the low-hanging fruit...

-If the CMC didn't release Discord, perhaps he broke out on his own, now much more powerful, at a later date (the spell WAS weakening, after all).

-In my headcanon/fanboy fantasy, Cheerilee and Big Mac end up together after the events of Hearts and Hooves Day--they go on the picnic at the end to spite the CMC, but end up really enjoying themselves. In an ironic twist, perhaps Ponyville is full of starving, ignorant ponies without Scootaloo--without the events of H&H, Cheerilee and Big Mac don't think there's anyone for them to love, and have lost interest in their respective jobs.

-Rainbow Dash's fanclub is never formed. Perhaps RD's less inclined to rescue ponies in MMDW, leading to the accidental deaths of dozens of ponies? Maybe Twilight isn't around to fix the dam?

-Bit of a stretch, but...Scootaloo encourages the CMC to hear Rainbow's cutie mark story, which leads to them getting the stories of the mane 6, which, in turn, leads to the realization of the "special connection" they all have. Without Scootaloo, perhaps they never realized their connection, which would make it easier for them to "break up"; perhaps in the Scootaloo-free present day, none of the Mane 6 are speaking to each other anymore (Could also lead to chaos reigning--without their friendship, the Elements won't work)?

Just some thoughts. I hope that helps.

Now, what exactly did you mean by "an ironic enigma?" I don't feel my post answered that question.
>> No. 97527
>>97509
Goodness gracious that is a lot of helpful commentary for such a small trope-based idea. Thank you kindly, and, saved.
>> No. 97531
>>97527

You're very welcome. I enjoy analyzing canon like that.

Also, I'm procrastinating studying for a final. So there's that. :)
>> No. 97571
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97571
>>97439
Hm... extremely lawful you say? I hadn't considered that. Thanks for the advice! I think it's about time I started my first draft.

If anyone has any further critiques or criticism I'd be happy to read them. :)
>> No. 97577
>>97305
That's what I typically use. If you make the harness loose enough to swing forward, reloading becomes easier as well (aside from using automatic reloading). Ultimately, it depends on what guns you're planning on using. An 1800s rifle reloads differently than a contemporary assault rifle which reloads differently than a belt-fed weapon.
>> No. 97588
>>97305

We're already working with suspension of disbelief here, and frankly there are people out there who would accept guns held by hoofhands.

I don't do hoofhands, so I've done some thinking on the same subject and here's what I came up with.

If technology is sufficiently advanced, saddle-guns like that -could- be aimed, reloaded, and fired very easily with a smartlink and an augmented-reality display. Shadowrun style!

In a similar vein, a pony could have a "skul-gun."

I once saw an FO:E themed picture where one of the ponies had a rigid metal piece connected the gun to the bit. This is all kinds of wrong.

Pegasi have all four hooves free, so they could put their hooves in stirrups and fire guns that rest on their backs like the big shoulder-gun in the pic. This would be a lot more efficient than anything an earth pony could use. They would also have a forehoof free to reload with, or they could just go full badass dual-wielding.

Pegasi could also be harnessed into huge death-dealing machines that they operate with buttons and switches.

An earth pony who just needs a weapon for self defense could use a wrist-gun. This wouldn't see much military use because you'd have to brace yourself in a three-pointed stance to use it.
>> No. 97593
>>97588

FWIW, the concept I'm working with is as follows:

The main character uses an assault rifle attached to a harness. The gun is mounted on the right shoulder, with extra clips on the left. The clip is positioned so she can pull it out and reload a new one fairly easily. Aiming is tricky, but she's had enough practice to where she's gotten to be a pretty good shot.
>> No. 97596
>>97593

Like I said, suspension of disbelief-- sure, a pony could learn to be accurate with practice, and given that there aren't much by way of alternatives, sure that design would become the popular one.

I've done a fair bit of thought about pony technology and I haven't gotten very far. We're swerving into the realm of slightly "harder" world-building here, so perhaps best to abandon it.

Short answer, yeah, you're fine.
>> No. 97719
I'm looking for someone who is able/willing to hear out this fic idea that I've mostly mapped out (I have yet to actually write out the enitre plot in detail and flesh out the middle sections) and A) give feedback on the fic's premise and overall storyline and B) suggest a few ideas to help fill in some gaps in narrative.

In a nutshell: All is well in Equestria--- there have been no friendship problems amongst the Mane Cast, no jerks or idiots have come around to muck things up in Ponyville, and life is running smoothly in all. The peace is, (predictably) disrupted, however, when somepony (or something) manages to steal all documentation on the Mane Six. Things only get worse when Twilight goes missing and when strange mechanical beings begin start getting sighted across Ponyville.

Ultimately, to make a LONG story short, the Mane Cast take down their latest and greatest enemy and accidentally come dangerously close to killing him as he tries to get away. Thankfully, Terra, our villain of this piece, is revived and then detained. Following a surprisingly civil interrogation session, Celestia decides to give the latest (former) threat to Equestria the light prison sentence of living in Twilight's basement until further notice.


I would LIKE to say that's all there is but that barely covers the first of four story arcs. Even then, I've barely scratched the surface of what's going on with that summary.
>> No. 97721
>>97719
As per usual, my gmail (gchat is much preferred) address is available for anyone wanting someone to "hear out" a story idea.
>> No. 97735
>>97721
I may one day take you up on that offer. Just to let you know, since it's the second or third time I've seen it. Saged for irrelevancy
>> No. 97739
>>97735
Good.

I can't review. I can barely write. If I were unable to give (admittedly imperfect) advice to people who needed it, I'd be a complete leech on this community.

And not saged, because saging things on the front page is detrimental to the health of this board.
>> No. 97858
File 133481339888.png - (141.73KB , 457x347 , picard-wtf.png )
97858
>>97739
> I can't review. I can barely write.
You're not being serious. You're joking, right?

Well, now I know how you feel when I ooze this sort of nonsense and you're within earshot (or on the receiving end of it). Is that why you did this?
>> No. 97891
One fic I'd really like to see is an "Old Celestia" story. Celestia has been around for a long, long time. She has watched all her friends grow old and die; that HAS to take its toll on a person, even a God-Queen. The only person she can kind-of relate to is Luna, but Luna has been gone for so long she's completely out of touch, and Celestia feels lonelier than ever.

So, what happens now? Does Celestia want to retire? Write her memoirs? Maybe die herself? Or does she just keep everything bottled up, only letting it out in moments of weakness?

I think this would be a fascinating look at who Celestia IS under that crown. Unfortunately, I have several other projects occupying my time. If someone wants it, they can take it.

(related to that "Always Faithful" comic that posted to EqD a few days ago, where Celestia visits Twilight on her deathbed)
>> No. 97894
>>97891

Seconds after I posted, I had some good ideas for this. That always happens...

Perhaps Celestia's duties are more than just sun-raising. Perhaps she also keeps order--keeps monsters caged (in Tartarus), keeps the weather calm, etc. At the beginning of Season 2, Celestia was looking forward to "retirement" (whatever that entails) when Discord broke out. That incident shook her up: she realizes she's become complacent and let her guard down. That scares her to where she puts aside all thoughts of "retirement" until Twilight dies.

Twilight is the first mortal she's really connected with in hundreds of years, something she'd promised herself she'd never do again. When Twilight dies of old age, it breaks Celestia, and, crying, she tells her story to Luna or an OC.

(I feel this kind of thing might have been done before, BTW--if it has, could someone send me a link?)
>> No. 97992
(Related: >>96968)

I would like some advice on writing an OC Draconequus self-insert.

Hang on--don't hit your caps lock buttons just yet. I recognize that this kind of thing generally goes to crap, which is why I'm here.

I'm trying to do something like "Black and White," in which Octavia is a non-obvious self-insert--make the story about me, rather than have me in it.

Any tips for how to do so? Any pitfalls I should keep an eye out for?
>> No. 98003
>>97992
Don't make it a self insert.
No, really. Write about something, someone, anyone else.

If you must write about yourself *ugh* this might help:
http://doubleedgesword.deviantart.com/journal/How-To-Write-A-Decent-Self-Insert-Fic-214196907

Remember to write him as a character, and not as an avatar. If it's too easy for the insertion character, the only audience you're going to attract will probably be very shallow.
>> No. 98050
>>97992
You need conflict, like in any other story. Flaws are good, too. Making fun of yourself is pretty much essential.

Like when Vimbert wrote himself into the reviewer clopfic. It wasn't as much a self-insert as inserting... oh never mind. He deleted it anyway.

What do you plan for your SI to overcome?
>> No. 98061
>>98050

>What do you plan for your SI to overcome?

An identity crisis. He struggles with the issue of who he's supposed to be until late in the story; the epiphany that resolves his internal conflict allows him to resolve the overarching plot.

Vague, I know--I'm hesitant to reveal too many details, as I have a twist ending planned.
>> No. 98065
>>98050
Yes... beat up on your self-insert enough, and almost no one will call you on it.

I've pulled it off three times now in ponyfic. It's not hard, really.
>> No. 98467
File 133512402273.png - (201.88KB , 842x948 , breaking_the_4th_wall__step_1_by_maximillianveers-d3hk22m.png )
98467
*Yaaaaawn*fuuuuuu, shouldn't have let myself get sucked into reading EoP. The PP/Dredgemane arc started out slow, but damn did it turn gripping near the end. Three and a half hours of sleep.

Anyhow, in to drop off another idea and ask for feedback.

A side affect of Pinkie Sense is, on rare occasions, terrifying flashes of prescience that cover possible events in the further-distant future (which isn't set in stone). In one such flash, Mrs. Cake dies in a stroke and it leads to Sugarcube Corner burning down, and in this vision Pinkie Pie mentally goes through the list of things in the building she loves, values and cherishes, sorts them by priority (with Mr. and Mrs. Cake's foals first on the list) and dashes through the fire to save them.

Two seconds after entering the chronologically-compressed vision she snaps out of it, and her friends inquire. Intended as a sort of story about "how would you feel and react if your existence and those of the things/people you love were all threatened," and "are you afraid of the future?"

I know this may sound rather dangerous (and perhaps also masturbatory) but I really want to write this fic because occasionally such visions flash through my own mind in this exact way, and I intend to see how well I can express this through Pinkie Pie (also, making it part of her awesome superpower). Like, I'll be driving, and imagine intentionally driving off the road and killing someone (or myself) for no reason, or that I'll do something extremely rude/audacious. These sudden flashes make me cringe and bring me nothing but grief. At any rate, my question is: what precautions do you recommend I take, if any, when writing this? Or should I just dump my heart into it and see what sort of nefarious drivel it manages to spawn?

If I get to writing anything in the near future this will most likely be the first thing I write because it's short, and I've already gotten some of it done already (the initial fire). I originally intended it as a writing exercise / character exploration of Pinkie Pie that turned into an exasperated edit-fest, the frustration of which required the intervention of Samurai Jack to save me from.
>> No. 98509
>>98467
Dark or comedy?

Even with deliberately saving the twins first, every materialistic decision after that point just seems frivolous, or else you risk suggesting that foals and bags of sugar can be compared. Not to mention killing a character (in premonition only). But then again, if going for dark, you could have a "Gotta save the cupcakes first! Wait, no, the twins! Oh Celestia, what's wrong with me?" introspective moment. Darker still if she has to contemplate saving the twins vs. Mr. Cake, knowing she doesn't have time to save all of them.

If you're going for comedy, I'd say that the Cakes are all out on holiday. Pinkie is alone in Sugarcube Corner when she leaves a burner on and starts the fire. Now, she's only comparing frosting to cake tins.
>> No. 98512
File 133512992568.jpg - (499.07KB , 1000x1000 , 170952 - artist valkyrie-girl Chrysalis.jpg )
98512
I would be very interested to see someone write an alternate ending to the season finale where, rather a 'power of love' victory, instead Luna comes and just beats the living crap out of the changelings in a rather epic manner.
> Maybe not a good idea, but it would be so satisfying.
>> No. 98514
>>98509
Thanks, it's good to get a sense of how a given approach / tone for it might fall flat (or contain bad moves / OOC moments). I'll be revisiting your comments when/if I get around to writing the story.
>> No. 98537
In one of the previous threads someone suggested a Paper Mario crossover in which some Nightmare Cultist kidnapped Princess Peach in order to use her power to free Nightmare Moon.

I feel like taking a shot at it.

What I need are some ideas for monsters, other than what has already been seen in the show and what has been seen in the games.

For example, Cat-a-pults. Giant cats that launch boulders with their tails.

Ideas for dungeons/bosses/characters would also be nice but I pretty much got that figured out. I really just need regular monsters.
>> No. 98539
File 133513697967.png - (323.64KB , 744x925 , 1303525876288.png )
98539
I was thinking of writing a 'Luna adjusts to being back on Equestria' story. Only from Celestia's point of view, and what lengths she goes to out of love to make her sister happy again and comfortable with the Equestria of present times.

Errh, what do you think? I just wanted to show how much of a good pony Celestia is. She seems to be demonized the most out of all the characters.
>> No. 98543
>>98537
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_Dungeons_%26_Dragons_monsters

for monsters, or inspiration to make your own. Seriously, "Bluejays and redjays and pinkjays..." plus other such animals in Canterlot's garden, you've got a lot to work with if you so choose.
>> No. 98567
File 133514686475.jpg - (1.11MB , 1400x2600 , all_these_things_i__ve_seen_by_equestria_prevails-d4dhdia.jpg )
98567
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/23561
>> No. 98573
File 133514967708.png - (189.33KB , 800x800 , lyra__s_pet_by_madmax_by_dizzypacce-d49zaw6.png )
98573
And with that posted... Dammit, I need to take a break from this thread. I don't want people to think I'm making it my personal sounding board.

At any rate, list of un-discussed ideas is empty (hence why I should really vacate, since too much of it has been me). Put your ideas on the form (http://bit.ly/HPf2hS) to make them easier to find if you don't want to be missed by people wishing to give feedback. If you want to be able to edit the spreadsheet for keeping track of things (http://bit.ly/I2VsAE), just request using the share button.
>> No. 98634
File 133518961123.png - (274.14KB , 640x550 , the_disc_tat_ord_by_pumpkinhiphop-d4x3qj1.png )
98634
I only have a summary of a segment that's going into a fic I have yet to even get close to starting, but I'd like to see what people think about it:

Human bodies have been appearing in the Everfree Forest. And by bodies, I mean corpses, with no pulse and either broken necks or shattered skulls, as if they've fallen out of the sky head-first. It's not a pleasant sight, and someone needs to do something about it before panic and chaos spreads across Equestria.

I am Gummy. I used to think that I was the only human in Equestria. To some extent, I still am. But for now, I will be that someone.

Or, replace Gummy with Derpy/Zecora/Twilight Sparkle.
>> No. 98659
File 133520607317.jpg - (77.66KB , 900x648 , spoiler.jpg )
98659
five thousand years later...

At first, pony society tried to accept them. Love and tolerance, after all, and most ponies saw no reason why these strange in-betweens could not live among them. After all, few truly believed that powerful magic like the Conversion Bureau's could be without risks or side-effects. The unfortunate cases of the in-betweeners only confirmed these suspicions.

The day of their revolt will forever be known as the Night of Terror. The streets ran with blood as the in-betweeners lashed out with impossible, coordinated malice. It was the most violent incident Equestria would see for thousands of years. The only thing that saved pony society from meeting a bloody end at the hands of the in-betweeners was the efforts of then-queen Reverie nee Christina Dawn, who-- with her once-human failings-- decreed that the in-betweeners be banished to the Outlands, subject to immediate imprisonment if ever seen near a pony settlement.

Queen Reverie would never see another in-betweener in her lifetime, nor would Queen Nocturne after her, nor Queen Daybreak, or Queen Nightfall. Improbably, the in-betweeners seemed to be willing to abide by the terms of their exile.

In truth, of course, the in-betweeners were among them, watching. For thousands of years, dozens of generations, they watched. They watched as all their predecessors' hopes and dreams for friendship, harmony, and love came to full fruition. They watched science crumble without humans to tend it, and they watched its rebirth. They watched nations rot away to make way for Equestria.

They still keep relics from the old world enshrined in their dwellings: a television, a coffee machine, even a few long-defunct cars.

Each one of them is born with their mother whispering to them what they are: An in-betweener, an exile, a hated enemy of ponykind. In-between? They invariably ask their parents, and the answer is always "Between darkness and flame." The in-betweeners do not remember who they are or who they once were-- they know only hate, jealousy... and hunger.
>> No. 98661
File 133520660549.jpg - (21.79KB , 473x355 , wlQBi.jpg )
98661
>>98659
The Conversion Bureau angle is pushing it a bit, not to mention it requires a fair bit of backstory and automatically has the CB stigma attatched to it. I'd suggest just having them be a particularly aggressive subspecies of ponies from ages long-since passed.
Perhaps this is where the true horses have gone to?
>> No. 98663
>>98661

The idea started with "Why do they look like ponies when they could look like anything? They must identify themselves with ponies." The idea came out that they're failures, full of hate and jealousy.

I hate the Conversion Bureau if for no other reason than because a lot of the people who are into that actually think that the original Conversion Bureau fic wasn't complete shit. This is supposed to be a bit of a deconstruction. Also, it's a crazy idea, and people like crazy ideas sometimes maybe?
>> No. 98680
>>98663
Im with you on this one.

The original CB story by blaze was just fucking shit on a pillow bad. The only thing good that came out of that story was the setting.

I mean really, I am writing a fan fic for the CB anniversary that's me essentially going around killing other writers with ponyfication potions as to prevent Equestria for emerging in our world (with the help of Discord).

Here's the Link if you want: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/18821/TCB%3A-The-Greatest-Story-Never-Told
>> No. 98682
>>98680

Actually, I wanted my "in-betweeners" to be almost sympathetic. They are freaks, born into grotesque bodies by no fault of their own, raised in a culture of hate. Originally the in-betweeners probably took anthro forms to hold onto their humanity, or perhaps they were always pony-like, because of their doomed desire to be ponies after all.

They were in-betweeners in more than body. Most of them wanted to be ponies, but never felt like they really could be. The revolt was just a result of some bad apples spoiling the bunch.

Over time, they forgot their origins, just like the ponies themselves did, and knew only bitterness.
>> No. 98686
File 133521607767.png - (477.46KB , 1280x1067 , 151229 - applejack artist willdrawforfood1 dinosaur fluttershy pinkie_pie rainbow_dash rarity tw.png )
98686
Fanon often says that Alicorns are the best parts of all three species of ponies. That gave me an idea:
Split Celestia or Luna into the three different pony species. Magical accident, villinaous trap, doesn't matter, just triple the fun and enjoy the schenanigans!
>I don't have a related photo, so instead, enjoy some dinosaur costumes
>> No. 98695
File 133522566835.jpg - (3.61KB , 125x123 , 132353602235s.jpg )
98695
Hello everypony,
now that season 2 is over, I'd like to start writing fics. I already have 3 in mind, but I'd like to start small with a one-shot/slice of life. The pitch:

Fluttershy miraculously beats Rainbow Dash in a race. Humiliated by her defeat, Rainbow Dash feels unworthy of not only trying to be a stunt flyer/racer, but gives up flying period. She loses her adrenaline, and becomes a really boring pony (although Rarity doesn't seem to mind). But the others want the brave and cool Dash back. They try with multiple attempts to shock her back into "awesome" Dash, but no avail. So the others, and Scootaloo try for drastic measures. They fake Scootaloo being in danger, but their plan goes wrong and Scoot is in real danger. That's what puts Rainbow back to her old self and saves Scootaloo.

With that all said, I am able to start writing; except for ONE thing. How can I set up a scenario where a pegasus that barely flies (Fluttershy) beats Equestria's fastest (RD)in a race? If you can help me on that, I can write this thing.
>> No. 98696
>>98695
A story where Rarity and Fluttershy got bodyswapped had a good race where Rarity-shy beat Dash (and in doing so, got to make Dash get all prettied-up) by challanging her to a tight and technical race. Dash's main advantage is speed, so by forcing her to constantly turn, that advantage was quickly negated. You can also make it so Dash gives Fluttershy a head-start because she doesn't think she'll have a problem catching up.
>> No. 98697
>>98696
wait a minute. I just thought up of something brilliant. You know how you seem to run faster if you're running away from something you're afraid of? What if in the final stretch, Fluttershy thought she saw a dragon?

Also, I need a way for Fluttershy to accept this kind of challenge, knowing she would do badly in a race like this.
>> No. 98702
File 133522832688.png - (653.29KB , 1000x1000 , pinkie_pie skullgirls.png )
98702
"Legend tells of an ancient artifact that can grant any mare's wish... the Skull Heart. However, if she is impure of heart, her wish will be corrupted and she will be turned into an immensely powerful, twisted being of destruction..."

"The Skull Heart has come to Equestria. Who will be the first to fall under its sway and become the first Skullmare?"

Yep, you guessed it: A Skullgirls crossover. It'll involve the main 6 plus two other characters that I'll keep a secret (and maybe some bonus characters for later). Each chapter will be a stand-alone story of each character seeking out the Skull Heart for one reason or another, though they won't be happening at the same time.

While I have a general idea how each of their stories will end, I just need to think up what they encounter between them starting the adventure and getting to the end. The journey as it were. Since this is based on a fighting I'd have to fill it with fights, but why not mix it up? What sort of things would each of the girls encounter that would be unique to them?

I've been working on the set-up/motivation for each of the characters to head out, so if you got questions, I'm willing to divulge further :)
>> No. 98704
File 133522842152.jpg - (49.93KB , 600x450 , roflbot-Igzw-(n1294433869835).jpg )
98704
>>98697
How about something like the 'One Two Three Go' moment from Bird in the Hoof? But Fluttershy is in the middle of something important and ignoring her entirely. Such as trying to follow a ferret through underbrush.

Fluttershy is a much stronger flier when she's not thinking about it, and Dash trying to beat her in an impromptu race and failing is a bit more in character.
She could even become more upset when she challenges her to a rematch, and Fluttershy isn't accepting it.
>> No. 98710
>>98702
That first part sounds similar to an idea I was about to post about Queen Crysalis's origin.

Where basically, she started out as a normal pony, but she looked hideous. Because of that, everyone rejected her so her greatest wish is to have everyone's love. Then something something something black magic something something something she can change her appearance but her true form is even more hideous to reflect her heart and she literally feeds on love meaning that she got her wish granted but not quite as she intended.
>> No. 98729
>>98710
That first part is more or less the first words you read when you boot up Skullgirls. I just changed it to accommodate ponies :P

And hey, in a more screwed up version of my idea, Chrysalis could be the first Skullmare. And in that version all canon would be fudged up and nonsensical, just like a fighting game!
>> No. 98732
>>98663
>a lot of the people who are into that actually think that the original Conversion Bureau fic wasn't complete shit.


Waitwaitwaitwait

There are people who think the original wasn't fucking garbage?
>> No. 98735
>>98732

*snrk*

Hey, people liked Past Sins too.

All right, I'm gonna play some more League before I get banned.
>> No. 98738
>>98704
sounds good. RD insists on a race, FS gives in, and beats her.

But I still have no title.
>> No. 98740
File 133523341755.jpg - (47.47KB , 989x720 , mlfw4269-hmm.jpg )
98740
All I've got is an idea for this one.

You see, when I was a kid, for whatever reason, all I wanted was a Rainbow Dash MLP doll. Instead, I got a Rainbow FLASH doll. A look-a-like, sure, but still not the real Rainbow Dash. Looking back on this, this has inspired me to write a story.

A pegasus by the name of Rainbow Flash has shown up in Ponyville, and Rainbow Dash is not exactly thrilled by her look-a-like's presence. However, after challenging the newcomer to a race, Dash finds herself humiliated when Flash manages to beat her.

. . .
And that's all I've got.

I started typing it, but what appeared on-screen didn't look like what was in my head at all. I honestly have no idea where I want to take this story.

Help?
>> No. 98741
>>98740
Rainbow Flash, as it turns out is a Mary Sue. So RD recruits Pinkie Pie, master of the 4th wall to do an MST3K criticism to stop Rainbow Flash. Criticisms are the Mary Sue's one weakness.
>> No. 98743
File 133523385847.png - (74.92KB , 654x750 , v2b3M.png )
98743
>>98741
>implying criticism has ever affected a Mary Sue
>> No. 98747
File 133523469966.jpg - (60.47KB , 625x351 , mlfw4480-0dcPP.jpg )
98747
>>98741
Although I thank you for that idea (and it is interesting enough XD), I don't think that's quite up my alley as far as writing goes.

Also, completely unrelated pic.
>> No. 98785
File 133524403090.jpg - (370.23KB , 1600x1600 , Achilles2.jpg )
98785
Hey /fic/. i have a great idea for a fic but cannot write for crap. here is the idea. A legendary warrior from the human world is brought back from death to stop the diamond dogs who equestria is now at war with. The warrior is achilles, he is summoned by luna and celestia to help push back the diamond dog horde and is asked to live in ponyville since it is so close to the DD kingdom. Good idea? Bad idea? if anyone wants to make it please go ahead. I dont even care if you take all the credit.
>> No. 98787
File 133524449028.png - (148.61KB , 500x473 , 438.png )
98787
>>98785
Can it be a good idea? Sure. But what you have here isn't an idea, it's a shot in the dark. I can sum it up with "X character goes to Y, Z happens." It's probably the most used (and abused) "plots" out there. You need to develop this more if you want to have even the barest glimmer of a hope in getting a writer's attention for it.
>> No. 98891
How do y'all overcome writers block?

Okay, I have my scene planned out. I know what happens when, and I know how my characters will react. I just can't, for the life of me, put it to paper, or GDocs rather. Somewhere between my brain and my fingers, it gets all jacked up. How do you figure out how to write a scene?
>> No. 98897
>>98891
Well for me, a number of things. More often than not I just step back for a few hours or a day, and let the scene come to me whilst I let my mind wander. For something more immediate I either listen to music, play some wicked awesome video game or see a movie for possible ideas/inspiration. Or, you could just write something up as a place holder and come back again later.

Or, you could STOP IT. Your writer's block I mean. STOP IT.
>> No. 98898
File 133531154544.gif - (91.79KB , 400x475 , 1314086970808.gif )
98898
Hihi, I need some advice. I'm starting a fanfic, and I feel I have a solid plot and all... but I'm stuck on a location name, and someone directed me to this thread. Can anyone help me come up with ideas for a ponified version of 'Atlantis'? It needs to sound similar enough to be recognizable (ie, Los Angeles/Los Pegasus).
>> No. 98902
Not exactly related to story writing, but it fits best here, I believe.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-commonly-corrected-grammar-errors-that-arent-mistakes/
>> No. 98912
>>98902
I'd imagine /dis/ would've been a more appropriate place as we can't really discuss it without derailing the thread.

Or at least it's own thread here.
>> No. 98940
hello everyone.

I just created a fimfiction account, ready to write my first fics in the off-season, but where's the part at which I actually add my story? It says you can add chapters, but does that include the prologue/chapter 1?

I am a total noob at this.
>> No. 98957
>>98940
You add a chapter to your story, then you hit the Edit button inside that chapter. (This question isn't suited for this thread, but there isn't really a suitable thread for the question. Ah well.)
>> No. 98970
>>98891
Check out these old threads and you'll probably find some useful answers:
>>72838 Writer's block
>>73377 ITT: What helps you write?
>>68427 Writer's block central
>>37741 What is your strongest motivation for writing fanfiction?
>> No. 99198
I need some feedback on rather what i'm thinking of writing.

It's a heavy build on the Changelings, discussing facts, myths/legends and misconceptions of their culture through an in depth study, from the reason that the book is for discussion about them through other Ponies who wish to read it, it would document events that would've happened in the past aswell.

The "history" of the changelings would rather be after the attack and immediate expulsion of the Changelings upon Canterlot ponies decided to investigate rather such an unknown entity that was to them (or rather the major population.) Where an observant fact is that many hoax's were done away and facts were established about their Culture, history and biology of the Changelings.
>> No. 99318
File 133547999952.jpg - (58.12KB , 877x911 , i wub woo every day.jpg )
99318
>>98716

Please, anybody, make this a thing.
>> No. 99409
File 133550188709.jpg - (293.26KB , 900x1086 , 1333786255426.jpg )
99409
I've had this idea for a fic in my head for while, there is just so many ways I can go with it. It takes place in a humanized version of Equestria with technology a little bit more advanced then today, while still retaining some qualities from the show such as magic.
The basis of the story is this:

Before the time of the "mane 6" a war breaks out between the Phoenixes of the Everfree Forest and the general population of Equestria over territory disputes. After many attacks on small towns such as Ponyville, people have to retreat to the outer cities. 100 years pass and enter the main characters. The Everfree Forest has expanded, engulfing the towns that once occupied it's edge. Clouldsdale, a metropolis located in the mountains overlooking the forest has turned into an Airforce Checkpoint known for its raw talent for flying jet aircraft. Newborns are brought into the idea of flying at a young age, almost like a tradition. This section follows two main characters, who model both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Dash and Shy play off each other in the sense that Dash brings out the wild and reckless side of Shy, and Shy brings out the deeper more emotional side of Dash.

As their time in the Flight Academy goes on Dash and Shy become more attached to each other. They both plan to graduate, although their plans afterwards are different. Dash has high hopes on joining the Military Airforce, however Shy plans on moving far away from the war. Will Dash be able to cope with Shy's departure and train for the Airforce or will she go with Shy and use one of her key talents to end the war for good?

Of course because of the nature of war I would like to add Dog-Fighting parts in the valleys of mountains, over the forest, and added exploration, and everything you would expect in this type of fic.

Thoughts?
>> No. 99468
All right, I'm currently working on a fanfic. It starts with Trixie meeting Luna and becoming her student and from there wandering the world on a mission from Luna. The thing is, I'm working on tarot motifs for it. I've pretty well come up with an idea for what card would represent Trixie, Luna, Ditzy Doo, Celestia, Shining Armor, and Spitfire. However, I'm having a hard time figuring out which cards could represent Gilda and Soarin'. Any thoughts?
>> No. 99729
I have something I'd like your help with. But before I do that, I'd like to give some people a hoof.
>>98898
Atlantis... Let me see here. Atlointis comes to mind. (The loin, of course, being part of a pony's back.)
>>99409
Here's an idea. Dash gets into a dogfight over the Everfree Forest and crashes. While she has to try to work her way out of the forest, she comes across the ruins of one of the towns that's been overrun, and encounters a family of forest people who've been surviving in the forest over the century that precedes the story. While there, she interacts with someone (possibly a forest-dwelling Applejack?) who forces Dash to reconsider or actively changes her opinion on the war.
That being said, I have my own idea I'd like fleshing out. The working title is "Puppeteers."
The story is a prologue to the show, taking place about 100 years after Equestria was founded. As our story opens, Equestria is approached by an army of monsters led by Neighdes the Conqueror, the ruler of the neighboring, militaristic empire of Tartarus, and his son, Prince Discord, who believe themselves to be the gods of fire and chaos, respectively. (The title derives from Tartaric slang, where "puppeteer" is a word used to describe a skilled general.) The Tartaric Envoys, as they come to be known, quickly ask Equestria for military assistance in their current war against the Changelings, a race of beings from "beyond the stars." It is known that the Changelings feed on love, so Neighdes quickly takes action to protect the borders of Equestria, a land of love, tolerance and harmony, to prevent the Changelings from becoming too powerful to defeat. Things become complicated, however, when Discord falls in love with Princess Luna.
Thoughts?
>> No. 99747
>>98634>>98686>>99198>>99318>>99468
(repost; I left one out)

"Queue" (list of ideas/inquiries that haven't gotten feedback, just to make them easier to find) http://bit.ly/I2VsAE
Been waiting for feedback on an idea? Can't find it in the list? Put it in yourself using the form (http://bit.ly/HPf2hS) so it's easier to find.
>> No. 99751
>>99747
Excuse me. I added my idea to the queue as you suggested, but I appear to have used the wrong link. Could someone who has the privilege to edit that document go in and correct the error, please?
>> No. 99755
Respond to ALL the ideas!

>>98634
Okay, here's my question. How would Gummy know about this? He is, after all, a pet. In order for him to know about this, it would require him to go into the Everfree Forest. The only way I can think of that working would be if Gummy is some kind of were-alligator, turning into a human at night and back into an alligator during the day. ...Which would be pretty cool, actually.

>>99198
...So...you're going to be discussing the history of the Changelings, why they decided to attack Equestria, and discussing the fact that they are a unique culture and not a species of monsters, correct? Well...okay. My best suggestion is to find a good framing device. Perhaps a pony goes out in search of the Changelings and receives a little lecture about their history? Or perhaps the story is a flashback from the perspective of Queen Chrysalis? Or maybe you could come up with your own.

>>99468
I don't know much (read: anything) about how Tarot cards are supposed to be interpreted. But I'll give this a shot anyway. Don't let me stop anyone else from giving this person a hand! That being said, I believe that Gilda could be represented by Strength, considering how she was so mean and stubborn during her brief time in Ponyville. Soarin', meanwhile, could be represented by The Hanged Man. Based on what little of his personality we've seen, he seems to be a fun-loving if clumsy pony, and the Hanged Man being suspended upside-down from a tree by one foot could give you a place to work from there. Again, I know next to nothing about Tarot cards, so if anyone else wants to chip in on this, they can just go right ahead.
>> No. 99796
>>99755
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/

That link provides an explanation of how tarot cards work. I already have the Fool, the Sun, the High Priestess, the Hanged Man, the Tower, and Justice picked.
>> No. 99830
>>99796
Okay, let's try this again. Knowing what I know now, I believe the Chariot would work better for Gilda, seeing as how the card is meant to symbolize getting what you want (as I interpret it). As for Soarin', if the Hanged Man is picked already...how about the Hierophant? I always pictured Soarin' as a kind of a goofy Father-to-the-Team figure for the Wonderbolts, and since the Hierophant is all about community, that would fit.
>> No. 99864
Could I trouble you fine ponies for some help on my story?
How would you describe the Everfree Forest? Like, imagine you were walking through it for the first time. What sort of things would you see? What kinds of plant and animals would you encounter? My human OC just had a brutal fight with a manticore, so I want to avoid anything that would attack him, like a cockatrice or Timberwolves. I just need a few lines of description to flesh it out. I want that alien feeling, but I've hit a wall as to how to SHOW it rather than TELL it.

Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
>> No. 99879
>>99864
Damp/dank smell.
Ivy hanging from things.
Rustlings.
Half-glimpsed eyes.
Something about 'ancient', 'green' and 'cathedrals'.
>> No. 99884
>>99879
Thanks! That helps a lot!

That sounds kinda sarcastic, but I'm being serious. All I needed was those few words. You done sparked my imagination!
>> No. 99887
Okay, I need some help.

Can anyone help me come up with a ponified title for a famous yet dull piece of literature? (e.g.: something by Shakespeare)

Thanks!
>> No. 99889
>>99887
Shakespeare, dull? Hrm. You're speaking as someone whose experience is from reading the plays in a monotone in a high school English class, aren't you.

Anyway, to answer you question: Edmund Sponeser's The Powny Queene would be my vote for stultifying classic.
>> No. 99890
Has anyone written a Friendship is Magic/Princess Tutu crossover? All I've seen is art. Someone needs to get on this; Princess Tutu was, pre-pony, my premier source of girly-awesome.
>> No. 99891
>>99889
Oh, I happen to like Shakespeare's work. I thoroughly enjoyed Julius Caesar.

That said, my ears were spared the monotone torture that is the average high school student reading, because we listened to a very good audio version.

So, when I said "dull", I meant dull to the average person. I have a scene where Twilight attempts to read a story along those lines to the CMC, who find the story extremely boring.

Anyways, thanks for the suggestion! I'll have to check that out and see if I can use it.
>> No. 99892
File 133574499382.jpg - (9.37KB , 266x189 , index.jpg )
99892
>>99887
A Midsummer Night's Pony, please. I'd love to see this.
>> No. 99893
>>99889
...I actually might have to read this on my own time. This looks enjoyable XD

>>99892
I think this is more along the lines of what I'm looking for. I could definitely make this work. Thank you!
>> No. 99897
File 133575003624.jpg - (342.80KB , 1024x683 , Awesome-Higurashi-Pics-higurashi-no-naku-koro-ni-15288609-1024-683.jpg )
99897
Pony no Naku Koro Ni

It must be done.
>> No. 99961
File 133576414682.jpg - (45.69KB , 600x385 , Cool Story Ahaha.jpg )
99961
After an embarrassing rules futz up on my part, here's the copy paste of my poorly-researched foray into /fic/
*ahem*

Hey guys, long time (8 months :B) no see! So, season two is over and boy did that finale give me some ideas! Motivation flowing out the eyes and whatnot!

I'm out of school and currently in the process of writing Doctor Whooves Episode 3 Chapter 1. It's not up yet, nor do I expect it to be up before wednesday, believe me, Ponychan will be the first to get the links this time around.

Anyway, I'd like to get nip this in the bud, what are your guys' thoughts on the title Atmos-Fear? The basic story is as follows

Tirac, occupying the body of Screw Ball, is taking the sly route and trying to create a climate of fear and paranoia following the Changeling Invasion on which to feed. To do this (s)he has gotten his/her agents into various facets of Canterlot's upper echelons (media, defense, etc). Sensing something is amiss, Twilight, Spike, and The Doctor set out to get to the bottom of this mystery. Adventure ensues.

Thoughts?
This is going to be the shortest one so far (I hope!), I'm going to try to churn out ~30k words, six chapter of 5k. This will also hopefully be a somewhat lighter affair after the apocalyptic TL&T and MoDM, setting up an overarching storyline involving Tirac's myriad plans to regain power while dealing with smaller Equestria-centered adventures.
I'm about 1000+ words into the first chapter, and I'm feeling the vibe again!
>> No. 100015
File 133577977616.gif - (329.25KB , 247x358 , 131627252227.gif )
100015
I was thinking of writing a story about Discord. Instead of being sealed in stone by the elements of harmony, he's turned into a kid. Or depowered. Either way, he's mostly harmless.
The mane six, Celestia, and Luna all take turns keeping an eye on him, to try and make him grow up or become to be good. It won't be like Past Sins, but more cute and fun. It just sort of bothered me how there was NO way for him to be redeemed, like how Luna was.

Good idea? Bad? Deaged or powerless?
>> No. 100016
File 133578057117.gif - (621.63KB , 375x211 , 1334282056309.gif )
100016
>>99897

Seconded! Bonus points if Pinkie is the one doing the loops!
>> No. 100024
>>99961
Flutteryay! I'm so happy to know you're writing again. TL&T and MoDM are easily two of my favorite fanfictions in this fandom.

Surprisingly, I'm down with the whole Light-hearted affair. Doctor Who always threw in one in between doomsday episodes, so it fits the canon. Also yu could throw in some drama about the Doctor not wanting to get too attached to the Mane Six. He's never been in one place for as long as he's been in Equestria, so there's some potential conflict there as they try and integrate him into their lives.

I really am so excited to hear you're writing again!
>> No. 100048
File 133580012497.jpg - (15.22KB , 400x380 , YeiKj.jpg )
100048
>>100015
Someone else proposed that idea a while ago. Could work, though. People absolutely gobble up redemption fics.
For my bit, I say it seems like he's starting to normalize, then regresses and, unlike Past Sins, there's no second redemption. We need more stories that end in failure.

>>99961
Got your dialogue punctuations sorted out yet?
Anyways, looking forward to it. Your stories are always a fun read.
>> No. 100062
>>100048
I'll try to catch them all, but I'm always looking for a proof reader if anyone's interested.
>> No. 100075
>>99887

I've actually been thinking about this for a while. I don't know if these would be "Dull," but nevertheless...

-Ponies and Prejudice
-Death of a Salesmare
-The Old Mare and the Sea
-The Tragedy of Othello, The Mare of Venice (by Shakespony, of course)
-The Canterlot Tales (by pony-Chaucer)

FWIW, I think "The Powny Queene" is a little too hard to read--yes, that's how Spenser wrote, but you don't want to make the reader trip over your text [i]too[i] badly. Maybe "The Ponie Queene?"
>> No. 100076
>>100015

...I'm actually working on a story with a similar premise at the moment. please don't turn him into a kid.

...Attempting to put my biases aside for a moment, I think the "depowered" Discord works better for a redemption story. If he turns back into a kid (and loses his memory, maybe?) it's less about redemption and more about childcare. If he stays an adult, he needs to learn to overcome his bad habits/tendencies etc.
>> No. 100079
Hey guys,

I decided to work on that “Old Celestia” fic myself (>>97891. Permission revoked, btw). The major conflict is Celestia’s immortality—she’s outlived every person she’s ever loved, and she feels lonely and isolated. One of her biggest issues is she doesn’t have another immortal Alicorn to lean on—Cadence is too young, and Luna is out of touch after her 1000 year imprisonment.

Long story short, I need to come up with unique, magical origin stories for all four alicorns we see in the show. I have a good one for Celestia and Luna, but I still need to account for the Hearts and Hooves Day princess, as well as Princess Cadence. Here’s what I’ve got:

-The H&HD princess wasn’t actually an alicorn; that was an addition by a later historian (Celestia was one of the six element bearers who defeated Discord the first time around, and is, thus, a contemporary of the Princess. She tells another pony about this error, and finishes it with “I know, I was there”). This explanation is aided by the fact that we see two pictures of the H&HD Princess—in the first one, she’s a regular (earth?) pony, and, in the second, she’s an allicorn.

-Cadence’s Mom is a member of the Royal Guard, and guards Celestia’s personal lab. Mom and Celestia get to know each other on a first-name basis—they’re not close, per se, but Celestia likes her. Mom gets pregnant but continues to work; Dad (also a Guard, or perhaps a soldier) gets deployed and killed. Mom is so close to all the crazy magic that Celestia is doing that it affects baby Cadence, and she (Cadence) is born an alicorn. The birth is really difficult, and ends up disabling Mom (Hybrid demon baby almost kills mom? Is that too close to those Twilight books?). Celestia feels guilty for putting Mom through all that, and quietly pays her rent and medical bills. Cadence grows up like a regular filly (babysitting Twilight in the process), using her love powers to overcome any potential racism she encounters. When Cadence is in her mid-teens, Mom dies from lingering injuries from Cadence’s birth (perhaps she’s been struggling for years, and finally succumbs). Celestia, still feeling guilty, adopts Cadence as “niece,” making her a princess in the process, and sends her abroad in an effort to help her cope. Cadence picks up her nickname/title (“Mi Amore Cadenza”) while gone. (This plot accounts for Twilight’s surprise that Cadence is a princess, as well as for the fact that she doesn’t recognize the name “Mi Amore Cadenza”)

…does that all sound reasonable?
>> No. 100300
Good afternoon, everybody. This is my first time commenting, but I have lurked in various threads in the past. Lately I have been mustering up the courage to actually make this post, but I'm tired of putting it off. I need other opinions before I attempt this any further.

For months now, I have had an idea to write a crossover of two of my favorite things: Friendship is Magic... and... a certain science-fiction epic. At first I disregarded the concept, because it seemed impossible; I was an inexperienced writer taking on a large endeavor. But now, with my writing improving and my concepts solidifying, I think this could succeed (or outright fail, though I’d rather not be a pessimist).

So here is my idea: take the setting of Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Series, and retell the story with ponies in the place of the humans. It must sound insane to those who know Foundation's story, and its scale. I also believed it was rather crazy and stupid in the beginning. However, the more thought I gave to the whole thing, the more plausible it became.

Of course, I will be facing complications as I write this story. For one, I will be making different decisions and heading down different paths. If I stick too close to Foundation’s original framework, then the crossover will essentially be like replacing all the major human characters with ponies, but keeping the events/plot-points the same. That is something I must avoid at all costs. Of course, there will be some parts native to Foundation that I will bring over mainly for the sake of familiarity.

So... within the next week or two, I will post a lengthy prologue somewhere (would it be okay to post it here, in the Story Forge thread?). Hopefully it will be enough to let you all further speculate on my idea.

TL;DR — I have begun writing a Foundation/MLP science-fiction crossover. To any Asimov fans, or sci-fi fans in general: would you be interested in reading such a thing?
>> No. 100334
I have an idea for a MLP/ Tales of the Abyss(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_of_the_Abyss) crossover but cannot write prose to save my life. the general idea is that the event that fsends Luke and Tear halfway across the world to the tataroo valley instead send them to somewhere in equestria.
>> No. 100364
>>98686>>99318>>99729>>100079>>100300>>100334
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0
>> No. 100503
I have a story in mind. Although I have another in the making, I'd like to see if people like the idea.

The idea is to explore the world of the Changelings. Where they live, how they came to be. My idea is that they lived in a world completely dry of resources, although nature is slowly taking back over, as the world was reduced into a complete wasteland after a massive war between all the nations that made up their world. In the present (that is to say, at the time the show takes place), it's mostly deserts or fields with ruins, and small settlements and villages, with only two major governments still standing.

One, the kingdom of Queen Chrysalis, who strives to help her people, continuously looking for a new world for the Changelings to live in.

And on the other hand, there's a huge, Blade Runner-esque town where crime runs rampant and life generally isn't very enjoyable. It's polluted to all hell and the resources being extremely scarce indicate the town is about to collapse on itself, what with the massive gap between the rich and the poor.

And then I don't know what to do. I thought about having four main characters - two Changelings and two Ponies, having sort of a love triangle between the three "heroes", leaving out the "villain".

One of the main ideas would be for the villain to see how full of resources Equestria is. Technically, they'd all be around the same age as the main cast, so...

I really don't know what direction to take this in. I think the wasteland is an interesting place, and seeing how Changelings live in each part of the wasteland live would be interesting too.

If anyone has any suggestions...
>> No. 100506
>>98686

I sincerely apologize if I'm out of place by posting (I'm not sure if the Story Forge operates like TTG, where anyone can jump in). Please let me know if I am and I'll desist.

At first glance, I love than idea (damn you for coming up with it first). Furthermore, I don't think it's been done yet. But the question now is: where do you want to take it?

Of course, the first and most obvious choice is comedy, but I think it has just as much potential as a sadfic. For example, maybe Celestia gets "split up" and is no longer able to fulfill her duties as princess? She becomes destitute and eventually fades away from pony history. Perhaps she's shunned by society, or maybe her parts are kidnapped due to their now diminished power. Brutal, but emotionally powerful.

You could also do it as an adventure fic in which one of the three parts of Celestia goes rogue (hey, cliche, I know, but cliche ideas can work if done really well) and destroys her reputation. The other two parts of Celestia then have to go on a hunt to find the third.

Or, as said in the beginning, you could do it as a comedy. I think one of the coolest ways to do that would be to have Celestia's "parts" try to integrate into ordinary pony society (something along the lines of "Sunny Skies All Day Long").

So, that's the question: where do you want to go with the concept?
>> No. 100598
File 133601201322.png - (258.12KB , 650x593 , My Chaos is Full of Fuck.png )
100598
>>100506
> apologizes for giving feedback and insight
...
Your kind is quite welcome around these parts, methinks. No, don't stop what you're doing. It's perfectly in-place and appropriate for this thread.
>> No. 100604
File 133601265007.gif - (2.58MB , 600x338 , 609.gif )
100604
>>100506
I don't know, I'm just the Idea Man. I just come up with a bunch of cool ideas that I'll never write :/.
Also, reply to a post made almost halfway through the thread. You're digging deep, aye? Or you just used the "unanswered ideas" post.
To answer your question, I'd probably make it a comedy, since I'm also the resident Funny Man.
>> No. 100616
File 133601565640.gif - (411.03KB , 500x284 , LucilleBluth_EyeRoll.gif )
100616
>>100604
>I'm also the resident Funny Man.
...Good one, funny man.
>> No. 100629
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100629
>>100616
I believe Sparky, Pasciote, Mask of Data and several other reviewers can attest to my statement.
Alas, several of them also don't know it's my story. Such is the curse of leading a dual-life.
>> No. 100631
>>100629

Dual-life...? Like Batman?

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-BATMAN!

Cough - Right. Yes, I used the "not yet responded to" thing. I personally I like the idea as a comedy as well. And remember that this is coming from a guy who has (until now) written nothing but sadfics. I'm working on a comedy now though (self-promotion WOO!).
>> No. 100633
File 133602078330.png - (129.17KB , 780x412 , TYLxQ.png )
100633
>>100631
(Sigh) I wish I was as cool as Batman is.

I might do it as a short, who knows. I could use something to get back into writing.
>> No. 100635
File 133602115458.jpg - (10.74KB , 277x162 , shrugging-shoulders1.jpg )
100635
>>100629
>Such is the curse of leading a dual-life
As the leader of a quadruple-life, I know how difficult it can be; stay strong.

I would ask to take a look at this story, but I'd hate to compromise your identity. Hmmm, isn't that convenient... (Yes, yes it is.)
>> No. 100636
File 133602148053.jpg - (254.85KB , 874x874 , E55j9.jpg )
100636
>>100635
Well, if you tell me your identities, I'll share my story with you.
Mutually assured destruction if one gives up the other.
>> No. 100638
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100638
>>100636
That's a good idea; expect an email in the near future.
>> No. 100641
File 133602354563.jpg - (41.87KB , 540x720 , T7wkJ.jpg )
100641
>>100638
Like I said: Idea Man.
>> No. 100642
>>100641

As in, share our alternate identities? Why the hell not? So long as you don't go blabbing to the rest of Ponychan. I prefer to use my real name for writing and my pseudonym for reviewing.
>> No. 100644
File 133602493704.jpg - (96.25KB , 644x696 , DUGsH.jpg )
100644
>>100642
>Don't go blabbing to Ponychan about it
>Post on public board
>pic
I'm assuming that's your real name.
>> No. 100647
File 133602618982.jpg - (230.36KB , 1280x1280 , Vinal DJ_P0n-3 artist sweatshirt sweater vinyl_scratch.jpg )
100647
How about a fic where Vinyl has the ability to change the color of her eyes?
>> No. 100691
>>100644

Well, Josh Meihaus is my real name, but I review under a pseudonym. I like to keep my "work" separate from my personal life, so to speak.
>> No. 100749
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100749
>>100691
Dude... never, ever go to 4chan
>> No. 100750
I'm a little bored right now, so I'll offer some help with some of the ideas while waiting for a reply to my own.

>>100079
Hearts and Hooves Day's revealed princess does not need much focus, in my opinion. A synopsis (half of a chapter, for instance) could be fit somewhere within, but I personally am not interested in finding out more about her than what was already given. On the subject of Cadence, I find it hard to believe that it takes about fifteen years (birth to mid-teens) for the parent to die of a disability from birth. I can imagine Cadence's mom being injured for life because of it, but maybe she should pass away from other causes: old age, generally poor health, or residual magical effects from her work. Actually, residual magical effects sounds the best; they caused Cadence to be born an alicorn, and have a continuing, increasing effect on her mother's body. Celestia tries multiple times to remove the passive, complicated spell, and her failure motivates her to take care of Cadence after her mother's death.

>>100334
I have played Tales of the Abyss. Although my memory of it is sort of foggy, I believe you are talking about the hyperresonance in the beginning of the game? If that is the case, the entire fanfiction would be prior to all the major plot-points and reveals of the story (e.g. Luke finding out that he replica of Asch), and before Luke's later friendships with the other party members. "We need to find a way home" would probably be the central idea, and resolution, of the story. Still, I'm sort of 'iffy' on the idea. Tales of the Abyss had fun gameplay, but I felt it dragged on too much in terms of story, which is why I got bored of it. I would probably skip reading such a fic, even if the concept was refined.

>>100503
A wide-scale, decimating war between all species in the world of FiM sounds a little unrealistic. There have been previous observations that the changelings are based off of meteorites, so I like to think that they are alien in nature, or have evolved from contact with a special meteorite. The meteorite by itself could have caused the destruction of the land, and its resources, rather than an all-out war that laid waste to one land and left others untouched.

>>100647
This is just a small change, though, and it doesn't seem like much to work on. Perhaps there should be an ability that goes with the eye-changing, like a personality shift that makes her happier/angrier. Without any additional feature, it sounds like a normal, short slice-of-life fic (which I have no problem with, if it is pulled off correctly). For example, Vinyl puts on a charade to fool everypony, posing as a different pony/made-up relative, and using the different eye colors to shake off speculators. It would drive Octavia mad, I guess, as she tries to expose Vinyl's deception. It could make for a comedy, but I am obviously no expert.

Anywho, those are my opinions. I'm new at this, so forgive me if I am doing something wrong in this process.
>> No. 100752
>>100647
>Inb4 her eyes change colour because she's a changling that can't quite get its eyes right
>> No. 100788
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100788
>>100647
>In after what Ion said

My main warning would be that, at least on Ponibooru, there's a fair amount of aversion to the topic. Sort of a "gah, it's not even a big deal, stop bringing it up and causing drama" sort of vibe. Not sure if the fic-reading section of the fanbase would have a similar reaction. Naturally, it depends heavily on how you use that idea as a plot device.
>> No. 100889
>>100750
The idea is that the Changelings are aware of the world their ancestors used to live in and resent them for their stupidity and how they brought on seemingly endless famine and poverty. The idea that the Changelings lived before a meteor impact and changed into their current day form after the massively devastating impact sounds interesting.
>> No. 100898
>>100079
>>100750

I...like the lingering magic effects as well.

New story: Mom (an earth pony) is very pregnant at this point. Celestia is working on a particularly delicate magical experiment in her lab as Mom stands guard outside. Celestia loses control of the experiment, and it explodes, destroying most of her lab. As a creature of magic herself, Celestia isn't harmed very badly, but Mom, who was not caught in the explosion proper, got hit with the magic nevertheless. Mom is disabled with a bunch of weird magic-related symptoms--sudden random migraines, hallucinations, etc. She's still able to function for short periods of time, but isn't able to work. She goes on disability, with Celestia (secretly?) sending her extra.

Does that work, or is it too similar to the oft-maligned "Twilight Effs Up A Spell?"
>> No. 100899
...on the subject of "Twilight Effs Up A Spell," I thought I might as well run another idea past you guys.

Twilight wakes up in the hospital. While performing an experiment of some sort, there was an accident (with explosion and fire?) that has rendered Twilight blind. The focus of the story is how Twilight copes with this disability, and how it affects her identity and self-esteem.

...of course, the main plot point, is, well, "Twilight Effs Up A Spell." However, the actual cause of the accident is left ambiguous, and the story isn't about the effed-up spell--it's about Twilight as she tries to cope with changes in her life.

Is that still too close to the "Effs Up A Spell" plot, or do you think it's OK?
>> No. 100900
>>100899
Just make it some other sort of accident. If you want to play a tragic angle, Spike could accidentally give her face-full of fire, and then you can also write about Spike coping with his guilt as he helps Twilight live her day-to-day life.
>> No. 100901
>>100899
I could be wrong, but the main animosity towards the "Twilight effs up a spell" premise is that it's out of character for Twilight to try to cast some advanced spell that could have terrible side-effects. I can't say I agree, considering the spell she tried casting in Return of Harmony Pt. 1 was an "experimental" one, but let's ignore that. You could just as well have some other unicorn do the misfire. Other than that, it could be a malicious spell from some douchenozzle or some person pony that your would-be target of a misfired spell pissed off.

If it's simply a means to an ends, there's a lot of options you could do that don't push certain irrational people's buttons.
>> No. 100903
>>100750 my idea was that early on they find a reliable way to travel between Equestria and Adurant,
>> No. 101057
>>100898
You may want to include that Cadence's mother aided Celestia despite warnings from her, because many view Celestia's character to be that of a responsible adult. There is a way to avoid the entire "Unicorn effs up a spell" thing, if you feel that it's become too much of a plot device. The experiment (long-term?) could have released radiation-like magic, gradually building up in Cadence's mother from the early to late stages of pregnancy. Any early signs of the magical effect are attributed to the pregnancy, and are only noticed by Celestia later on as they worsen. In a way, it would explain the development of Cadence's horn and wings, since those probably don't spontaneously appear (but hey, with magic anything is possible, right?)
>> No. 101063
Hey guys, I need some help with pony names.

I'm very close to finishing a fic and submitting it to EqD. However, some of my beta readers took issue with the names of some of my ponies.

The first one is Fluttershy's mom, based off the following picture.

http://yamino.deviantart.com/art/Fluttershy-s-Mom-210478565

I named her "Angel Bunny"--Fluttershy's bunny was named after her.
...that doesn't change the fact that I'm using a canon character's name. Her love of bunnies is an important plot point, but I have no idea what else to name her.

Another character is a pegasus mare named Mirasol ("Sunflower" in Spanish). She lives in Cloudsdale, and grows sunflowers in little clay pots (to everyone's surprise). Her love of flowers is, again, a small but important plot point.
First off, does this one need to be changed? One of my beta readers said it sounded too "human" of a name.
I could just call her "Sunflower," and have her raise other kinds of flowers, but I don't know how I feel about that name.

Any other ideas, either for Mom or Mirasol?

>>101057
Thanks for the ideas, Spatial. You gave me an idea for another small tweak which I like better. In the newest version, Celestia finds Mom collapsed outside the lab one afternoon. The doctors say that long-term exposure to Celestia's magic gave her "Magic Poisioning." Celestia asks why this kind of thing hasn't happened before (She's had lots of guards over the years, after all), and the doctors reveal Mom is actually pregnant (surprise!)--her delicate condition made her more sensitive to the magic.
No explosion/screw-up neccesary.
>> No. 101067
So...I had an interesting story idea.

A mysterious object crash lands in equestria and twilight sparkle investigates finding almost no leads untill a discredited scientist named Lyra points out simularities between the mysterious object and ruins found deep within the everfree forest. Pinkie Pie's pinkie sense starts acting up more than ever, so extreme she ends up in a coma.

Meanwhile, three mysterious beings converse, not pony nor any other creature known to equestria, a large object visible to them which distorts space and time but all that touch it are absorbed, the probe they sent to investigate is not giving any signals. after some tests, they determine that the object disrupts quantum computers. In order to investigate further, they have to send something else, human beings, and so, somewhere within the everfree forest, three tall bipedal beings covered in strange uniforms emerge from the everfree forest.

Id like to know what people think of the idea
>> No. 101070
>>101067
Sounds like pretty bog-standard HiE stuff to me.
>> No. 101071
>>101070
eh I suppose, though it takes place a few thousand years from now and equestria is a delusional sufficiently advanced alien
>> No. 101072
File 133624889451.gif - (497.16KB , 400x288 , WG0Vw.gif )
101072
>>101063
Name her Flutterangel or Angelfly or something. Why would she be called "bunny"? You can still work off of the related names without having a direct copy/paste, after all.
The problem with non-English names is that the reader won't know what it means, so your symbolism is lost to them. That said, you can use commonly-used foreign words if their English equivalent is obvious. For example, she could be Sol Flora. Sol is the Greek sun god and is a fairly easy conversion to "sun", while Flora has to deal with botany and such.

>>101067
To be frank, it sounds stupid. That might be due to your awkward syntax working in tandem with my predisposition to not give poorly-constructed posts meaningful thought, though.
Lyra is suddenly a (discredited) scientist; where did this come from? Pinkie in a coma? Humans in Equestria? It's like three different ideas crashed into each other at high speed. If you want to even have the barest hope of someone picking up on this, you'd best brush up on your mechanics and develop your idea some more, since at this point it just seems like a "Let's combine X, Y and Z and see what happens!" sort of job.
>> No. 101074
this idea is still in its early phases of its developement, and yeah my syntax is a bit poor.

perhaps I will focus on human scientists studying equestria while pinkie pie explores the starship that sent the researchers accidently causing chaos
>> No. 101075
>>101074
Already done by Article 2 to a degree.
>> No. 101076
eh, alright, still might be fun to try even if I dont post it, just to try to get better at writing, Im thinking of making equestria a boltzmann brain
>> No. 101296
I had what could be an interesting parody of HiE stories, or a completely nonsensical idea. France would wake up, and find itself in Equestria. Not a frenchman, the country itself would be teleported to the magical pony kingdom. It would go as follows;

After building their sixtieth nuclear reactor, they interact and transport France to another dimension, Equestria. Meanwhile, NIghtmare Moon manages to invade our world and possesses Queen Elizabeth II. French president Hollande must work together with the ponies to return to Earth and stop the NMM led Evil Britannian Empire before they conquer the whole world!

It has been long since I thought something so silly, and I would like opinions to know if this would be hilariously silly, or just silly silliness.
>> No. 101297
>>101296
I... um... what? It does sound very silly. It could be hilariously silly, if you turn it into a comedy from the get-go. It really depends on how it's written, or how serious it is throughout.

On a side note... has my idea been buried? (>>100300 is the post) I'm guessing no one has replied because they need more background information than what I gave (which, now that I think about it, is very little). I'll make a post later including some, if that's the case.
>> No. 101300
What is the current work list of uncommented ideas?
>> No. 101336
File 133640100766.png - (355.27KB , 789x641 , like this.png )
101336
Um, so... is this thread still active? I have a few questions, as an aspiring author.
>> No. 101338
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101338
>>101336
/fic/ is really show, so if the thread's been posted in the last three days, you can consider it "active."
>> No. 101340
File 133640164788.png - (612.82KB , 1225x1071 , SA.png )
101340
>>101338
Ah, right, thank you.
>> No. 101474
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101474
So I've been thinking: OC pony colours. Do you mention them in writing? Is it necessary to mention them? Is it better to not? I'm on the side of "don't mention features", although I'm guilty of slipping in character descriptions as parts of scenes.

If one wants to describe one's OCs, how does one go about doing it - start off from line one, or use an instance of LUS?
>> No. 101490
>>101474
I'm a fan of using direct descriptions when I describe my OCs if the OC is worth focusing on. A description of what the OC looks like, and then be done with it--that is, if the description matters. I can't remember what colors the glass blower and his friend from The Glass Blower are. Nor can I remember what colors Reveille, Cross Tree, or Opal Eye are from Sword, Hammer, Stallion.

My reasoning for it is that if it's just a passing description with LUS, then the character is deemed not important enough to be described. If you're going to describe the character, do it in a way that you're not just listing features off what you see on Pony Creator. Also, LUS can be confusing. "Oh, wait, so now there's a pony named Fluttershy that we don't know anything about and a yellow pegasus we don't know the name of?"
>> No. 101510
File 133649359369.png - (368.99KB , 764x533 , So.png )
101510
So, uh, I have this idea. It's an adventure story with slice of life, adventure, romance and comedy aspects. I thought of it today in school, in maths, so pardon me if it isn't that good.

Twilight and Luna go missing after Luna goes to Ponyville for a day or two, to check up on the place. Well, actually, both of them tell the other EoH that they're going to get a special flower, that can only be grown in somewhere where the weather isn't controlled- the Selenicereus grandiflorus (yeah, I did a bit of research on this...)

So, they both say that they will be back in a fairly short amount of time, depending how long the journey is and what hazards might lie in the way. Naturally, the EoH assume that they mean deep in the Everfree forest.

Twilight and Luna both set out, and the story picks up the perspective of Celestia and the EoH's point of view from there, for the beginning of the story.

Meanwhile, no one told Celestia, and she just assumed her sibling spent a little longer with Twilight- after all, she did say they were going to do an experiment. So, naturally, Celestia doesn't really worry—that is, until about a week and a bit later. The EoH worry kind of too, but still have hope.

From them on, it focuses on both sides of the story- some chapters exclusively focusing on Twilight and Luna, others about the EoH and Celestia.

On the way, both of them face many trials and hazards, getting seperated a couple of times and Luna suffers a bit of injury, due to protecting Twilight from one of the monsters from Tartarus (which, is part of the story plot) and Twilight suffers a minor injury, thanks to Luna sacrificing her life for her. She doesn't die, though, as you'd expect of alicorns—and this isn't a tragedy fic— and so, with the help of Twilight, she manages to make it through.

Eventually, they get to the plant, in a place a bit away from the Equestrian borders. It's a place with lush fields and beautiful spring air, with trees rustling gently in a faint breeze and all kinds of flowers and animals imaginable. Among these are two of the flower they went on this adventure to find.

This is where the story branches off, at the end. I'm not sure if I want a bittersweet ending, such as: Luna goes to gift one of the flowers to Celesia, only to discover it has wilted, and for Celestia to go out to her private garden, and, in the late hours of the night (early hours of the morning) prods Luna, and gives her the flower. Luna then takes it with tears in her eyes, and gives it to Celestia, then hugs her and they all live happily ever after.

Or:

A romantic ending, where the two doze off happily in front of the flowers, and Luna gives the flower to Twilight, putting magic on it so that it won't ever wilt or die unless they stop loving each other, or if something grave happens to either of them. (Not sure about this part. Read it in a fanfic recently, I think, and I don't want to steal the author's ideas, because that's plagiarism)

So, any thoughts? Also, I've read a lot of fanfics and tend to suck some ideas out of them, as I go along. For all I know, this could already be a story out there, and if that's the case, I'd be grateful if you could tell me. If not, I would be grateful if you could help me out with this idea.
>> No. 101512
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101512
>>101510
As for the experiment, Luna aids Twilight in it and to finish it off, and make a scientific breakthough, they will need the flower.

Other than that, I was thinking that maybe, both of them just wanted to see it? That and it's Luna's present to Celestia.
>> No. 101627
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101627
>>99318 | >>99729 | >>100300 | >>101510
See:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0
If you've been missed, please fill out this form:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc6MQ&ifq
>> No. 101730
>>101510

The thing with the flower feels somewhat artifical. It seems to be more of a plot device to lead to "Luna and Twilight have an adventure" more than anything.

Also, what kind of experiment is it that they need to tromp through the forest? If it's just an experiment, that doesn't seem like a strong enough motivation for either of them to risk injury and death to retrieve it--double if they just want to see it.

Perhaps Celestia falls ill, and Luna is frantically looking for a cure. She goes to Twilight for help (or Twilight comes to her with a solution) and they set off together to find the flower to make medicine for/cure Celestia (Beware--I feel like "Celestia gets sick" has been done already).

That would also help with your endings. Both the endings you suggest sound a little weak.

Also: I hate shipping, more than most. For this reason, I dislike the Twiluna ending, especially since that particular ship seems stranger than most. You could turn it into frienshipping, if they're out to cure Celestia, but I, personally, wouldn't read a full-on ship.
>> No. 101784
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101784
Just like small, beady eyes on beastly bad guys, green magic seems to be the artists' fashionable choice for antagonists vis-a-vis the Flim Flam brothers and Chrysalis. What if a negative stigma became attached to that color? Let's say a young unicorn in school in Canterlot would have to contend with prejudice over having naturally green magic, and the temptation to lash out against the taunting.
>> No. 101841
>>101510
>>101730

...wow, that wasn't...hardly coherent.

Let's try that again:

Your basic plot (Luna and Twilight go adventuring through the forest) seems fine. Your beginning and ending need some help, though.

First off, your beginning. The motivation for your characters feels weak--the flower is simply a plot device to get Luna and Twilight in the forest. Needing the flower for an "experiment" doesn't seem like very good motivation, especially since their travels in the forest are life threatening--Luna sacrificing(?) her life for Twilight so she can complete an "experiment" doesn't seem realistic. This goes double if the only want to see the flower.

What if they need the flower to help a mutual friend? My first thought is that Celestia has fallen ill, and Twilight and Luna need to get the flower to cure her? That feels like a good motivation, and isn't so plot-device-y.

(While we're still talking about the beginning, I didn't really understand the part about them vanishing for a week. That didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to me, nor did it seem to be important to the story--but maybe I was reading it too fast.)

Now, the ending. The endings you suggested also seemed weak--they invalidated the struggle that Luna and Twilight went through (One of your bittersweet endings went like "Twilight and Luna just had this epic journey, but their Maguffin died before they could use it. Oh well."). In addition, the Twiluna shipping seems odd (I've always thought Twilight was, like, 14, making that particular ship pedophilia), and, the way you wrote it, comes out of left field. I am very biased on this point, though, so take my comments with a grain of salt.

In short, their struggle needs to matter. If you use the "sick Celestia" plot, have the flower cure her. If you don't want to use Sick-lestia, figure out your beginning first--give them a motivation, and have their "quest" pan out.
>> No. 101842
>>101841

Also, I would give the flower an english name. Your Latin one is difficult to remember, and isn't very memorable.

I see you have a variation of "selene" in there, which reminds me of the French word for "moon"--since Latin and French are the same language (obviously) that means that the name has something to do with the moon.

With that in mind, might I suggest calling it a "Moon Lily"?

You can keep the Latin name, too--just have Twilight say something like "it's called the Latin whatsit, also known as the 'Moon Lily.'"
>> No. 101843
>>101784

My first thought:There are "Good Guy" greens (darker, nature-y greens, e.g. Fluttershy's dress) and "Bad Guy" greens (bright, poisonous greens, e.g. Chrysalis' eyes). Thus, the color green is not inherently evil.

For this reason, I feel like it would be difficult for there to be "green magic racism" and have it be believable. One possibility: when Chrysalis was disguised as Cadence, she looked normal (most of the time) but had bright green magic. With this in mind, I could see little foals being scared of your protagonist ("He has green magic! He's a changeling!") but I don't think the adults would participate in or allow such teasing/harrasment.

Another thought--if your protagonist is in school, perhaps the other foals tease him about his magic. The teacher(s) notice, and they have a lesson about how everyone is different, and we need to be nice to everyone. Your protagonist feels that this is directed at him, and feels embarrased/angry, making him feel the adults are out to get him, too.
>> No. 101848
Whee! Here I go, spamming the Storyforge thread again!

Working on the "Old Celestia" fic now. One of the important plot points is that Celestia is afraid to love--she's been hurt so many times before that she's built a wall around herself, and won't let anybody in. She only really starts to crack after Twilight frees Luna from her curse, and only really opens after the Changeling invasion.

I think I can tweak her in-show appearances to make it work (without sending everyone into conniptions) but I need some help with out-of-show scenes.

Again, Celestia doesn't want to get close to anyone. How can I make her caring, without making her connect? Specifically, young Cadence and young Twilight both need help--how can she provide that help without connecting on an emotional level?

I had some ideas, but they feel more like Trollestia than Sad-lestia.

-Per my earlier discussion, Cadence lives with her mom until she's about 16, when her mom dies. Celestia feels guilty about the whole situation, and "adopts" Cadecne as a niece. Cadence is still shook up about her mom, though, and spends several days crying. During one of these crying sessions, Celstia says to Cadence, "You know what would make you feel better?" Cadence looks up expectantly. "A trip abroad! Let's start planning right away." Cadence looks somewhat shocked, and starts crying harder (the trip abroad is important to the plot, so I need to get her to travel somehow, but this timing seems almost...callous).

-Celestia takes on Twilight as her personal protege more as an academic interest than anything--she recognizes Twilight can be very, very powerful, and wants to make sure she's properly taught how to control her powers. Twilight, however, does her best to impress her teacher, even though Celestia is somewhat detached. In one scene, filly Twilight comes to ask Celestia for help with a paper she's writing for another class. Celestia calls over Inkwell, her personal scribe, to help Twilight. Twilight tears up, and says that she wanted help from Celestia. Celestia tries to convince Twilight (unsuccessfully) that Inkwell would be better able to help her. Twilight and Inkwell leave together, Inkwell spouting advice, Twilight with her head down. (Again, this seems somewhat callous--Twilight is making a sincere effort to connect with Celestia, and she shuts her down)
(I just realized--naming the scribe "Inkwell" is an [unintentional] pun, and a pretty good one, if I say so myself. High-five, brain!)

Any feedback on these ideas? Any other ideas on how I can make Celestia meet these needs, but stay emotionally detached?
>> No. 101851
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101851
>>101841
Hmmm, well, yes you're right. But really, I don't want to use the sick Celestia plot. For one, I hate seeing her unwell, and two... well, it has been overdone, like you said.

I will make their struggle matter. I just need to have time to think. Probably this weekend.

>>101842
Actually, the flower is called "Queen of the Night" and is actually a type of cacti... it blooms once a year (from what I've read) and is quite rare.

Nonetheless, thank you very much for taking the time to read over the idea and post your concerns, I will take them into consideration.
>> No. 101893
So I got an idea for a semi-crossover with the Half-Life universe the other day. I say semi-crossover because it wouldn't involve any of the characters/factions from the games except for a G-Man-esque figure and the Combine Union.

I want to explore what might have happened if the Combine had suddenly shown up and invaded Equestria, perhaps after a scientific/magical accident (Which would figure into the overall plot) akin to the accident in Half Life 1.

Canterlot would become the Combine's base of operations in Equestria, where they would construct a citadel, and Mayor Mare would be appointed as the leader of ponykind (by the Combine, who put Celestia out of the equation and need somepony they can control). One of the main characters would be a Civil Protection officer (Civil Protection being an organization of ponies who decided to willingly aid the Combine by policing their own people in exchange for certain privileges that other citizens don't have) who is forced to reevaluate his situation.

Also, Luna would show up after an unexplained (to the other characters, at least) absence of more than a decade, during which a resistance movement has arisen in Equestria. She would serve as the Gordon Freeman figure who eventually gives the resistance the push it needs to start a full-blown uprising.

Thoughts?

This is a fairly vague idea that I really haven't fleshed out at all, but it sounded fun to me.
>> No. 101895
So, I had a crazy idea that I'm throwing out there. I would LOVE to develop this one further, but I have too many other projects on my plate.

In Gulliver's Travels, published in 1726, Jonathan Swift wrote about an island of talking horses (who he called "Houyhnhnms"). This has led at least one person to call Swift the first Pony Fanfiction author.

...what if Swift really was a pony fanfiction author? That is, what if the MLP phenomenon occurred 200+ years ago? I think this would be fun to read, and would be an interesting way for the community to examine itself--or to get some cheap laughs, at the very least.

I think this would work best during the Victorian era (perhaps a children's adaptation of Gulliver's Travels, with much more sympathetic Houyhnhnms, becomes stranely popular and sparks a spin-off). The "bronies" are primarily rich, older men who have intellectual discussions about the novel(s) in gentelmens' clubs.

Ideas:
- Novels were often serialized in newspapers or magazines before being published in book form, so there could be scenes about fans getting angsty over the next installment being delayed, etc.
-I think it would be fun to see how Victorian society might react to the show. "Did you read that segment where Jack-o'-Apples asked her friends to help in the apple orchard? I was positively scandalized when Lady Twilight helped out--that's Peasant's work!"
-At least one scene referencing a contreversy--for example, an older, mutton-chopped man screaming at the top of his lungs, "Take that back, or I will have you ejected from this club, sir! Rainbow Dash is not an adultress!"
-A certain "Lord Channing," who owns a very prominent club, initially bars "bronies" from his club. Only after months or years of missed business and bad press does he relent (a reference to the 4Chan /mlp/ board and related nonsense)
-The chapters are accompanied by engravings of the horses in question. One of the engravings is badly done, and a mistake leads to the creation of a "Derpy" character. If someone can find actual Victorian slang to use (the more insensitive, the better) that would be awesome.
-A scene with a high-class gentleman meeting with a shifty, low-class character late at night. Their conversation ("I assume you have the...items?" "Of course, guv'nor") leads the reader to believe they're doing something illegal (or at least questionable)--until the shifty guy reveals the merchandise: cast lead pony figures. The gentleman asks all kinds of technical questions ("These are legitimate Hansen molds, correct?"), but is turned off the sale when he notices a "Derpy" figure--he knows it's a fake set.

Again, if you want this idea, go to town. I would love to read this, but it seems like it would take a lot of research/effort to make it good, and I'm not willing to put that kind of work into it atm.
>> No. 101939
>>101627
You can remove my idea from the queue. I doubt anyone will get back to me. Plus, a good friend of mine is helping me with the story, so I no longer need assistance.
>> No. 101947
Hey Demetrius, have you done anything with that Guardian Angel/Scootaloo plot yet? I'm kinda interested in that idea.
>> No. 101960
Just got another simple idea:

An older Featherweight being given the job of a war correspondent (Journalist tasked with covering stories firsthand from a warzone).

Thoughts? Oneshot or long fic more appropriate?
>> No. 102036
>>101960

I would say make it a one-shot--but you've given us very little to work with. Without an idea of a plot or your goals for the story, I can't really answer that question.
>> No. 102038
Yeah, the lack of details was mostly because It had just popped into my head. I've thought about it a little more, and will provide some more info when I get the time.
>> No. 102069
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102069
>>101947
I'm flattered that you would inquire as to the status of my not(yet)-story. The idea, as with all of my others, is totally up for grabs.

Lest anyone be worried about me beginning to write one of them: know that most of them I probably will never write, because I won't have the time or gumption. I come up with ideas and post them because it's fun to daydream, and I've learned that in the scheme of things, spoiling all one's plans for a story, unless one is a masterful writer, isn't that bad of a thing. That's because even if the prose fails to manifest, the story itself will have found an audience, and the idea in itself has reached other hearts. So, with that I'll just toss my messy, unfinished revised second edition of the sketch/outline for The Quiet Soil Awakens, because though I may never actually get to writing it, I personally think it was a decent idea (well, I had fun thinking about it), and if anyone else so much as enjoys imagining the events of the story happening, then it would make me happy.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PcmZZCQtFI6Kupp3whGNR4Bsc3OVDPk-n43Gr4cWOYw/edit
Warning: tons of plotholes and unexplained things, and things that I need to find excuses for their being there. The first edition, which is pretty much all takes place after the events of the episode Over a Barrel:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NwaFZw55dtZ9j2ilvlz7E3eqvBUvG7JpzqU2x9vH8dE/edit

If I do write any stories, it will most likely be my Pinkie Pie has a prescient vision about a fire story, or my Frank Zappa crossover. In the latter, I hope to include a Studabaker Hoch pony. And maple syrup. And parasprites.
>> No. 102193
Hey guys, I need some help with some small details--specifically, pony names and designs.

I'm working on a fic where we get to know Twilight's family a little better. One of her family members is a younger sister, who I've been calling "Twinklestar." "Twink" is about 8 (to Twilight's 14), and plays the "annoying little sister" role. Specifically, Twilight comes home for an extended "vacation", and bunks in Twink's room (which used to be her old room). Twilight tries to reconnect with Twink, but she's strangely hostile. It turns out that Twink is jealous of her sister's success, and resents the invasion of her privacy. They make up by the end of the story, though.

For Twink, I need a better name and a color scheme. I had her with a white coat and dark blue mane, but that was taken by Shining Armor. Flipping that (Dark blue coat with a white mane) turns her intro Trixie. Any other ideas?

Next: Twilight's mom and dad. I might be able to get away with calling them "Mom" and "Dad", but I'd like to have names for them nonetheless. Any ideas?

Next: I need the name of an ancient lost city. I've been calling it "Illium" in my head (an old name for Troy, I believe), but that's also the name of a planet in the Mass Effect universe (which will throw some people off), and also doesn't sound "pony" enough. Any thoughts?

Finally: the country the ponies lived in before Equestria. I've been calling it the capital-H Homeland, but I feel like that's been used elsewhere (Bastion, perhaps?) Any ideas on what else I could call it?

Thanks for the help guys.
>> No. 102216
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102216
I just have one question, and I didn't think it deserved its own thread so I thought this might be the best place for it.

I've finally started writing my first adventure, cross-over and non-clop story, but I also decided to finally browse through the FiM archive and have found a few stories that cross-over with the same title. I'm kind of discouraged right now, because I feel like my story will only be subjected to "This has been done to death" type of remarks. My question: Is it still a good idea to go ahead and write something of a similar idea, as long as the story is something you truly came up with on your own? I just feel kind of bad right now that I got my hopes up on my story but so many authors have beaten me to the punch.

Sorry if this is the wrong thread for this, I really didn't know where else to post it.
>> No. 102220
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102220
>>102216
You are most welcome here. So what's this story about? Let's come up with a better title for it that doesn't match the pattern "My Little ____: ___ is ___" or the like.
>> No. 102224
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102224
>>102220
Ugh, I wanted to keep it a secret! It's only been known by only one of my friends so far.

Devil May Cry: Friendship is Stylish

I'd actually written the first chapter the other night and been pretty happy with my first draft, and had searched google without finding anything too popular. I just randomly tonight found a few in the FiM archive. One of them has been going on for almost a year, so it's kind of intimidating.
>> No. 102228
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102228
>>102224
Well, we've got our work cut out for us, don't we now.

For the story, just make sure you have an actual story going. That way you can't go wrong. So much crossover (and bad OC fics) waste reader time doing a whole ooh and ahh session where the characters of FiM are introduced to some fictional element, be it a character, a setting or a MacGuffin from another universe, that will eventually walk all over them in terms of importance in the story and stealing the scenes. So, if what you have in mind places heavy emphasis on the characters' reactions to the new fictional universe and the introduction thereof, then I'd say you're bound for an incredibly mediocre and unoriginal fic (because it would in such a case not only be following a formula, but a formula for dullness at that). If, on the other hand, you have imagined a series of events, a conflict, a climax and a resolution involving characters from both fictional universes that you want to convey, which is more than just a paltry excuse to bring the two imaginary realms together, then you're about to write a decent story, and it doesn't matter if there have been crossovers of that area already.

For example: let's say that I wanted to write a crossover of MLP:FiM and Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Would you rather read about Princess Kushana riding Princess Luna into battle against her treacherous brothers, to take back Torumekia for the cause of friendship, and Fluttershy flying around with Nausicaä and tending to the enemy's wounded, or about the characters tarrying in the introductions and marveling at each other?

Consider Fallout: Equestria. Dozens of derivative works have been written. They all cover the same ground in terms of the world they take place in, but they each tell different stories. More importantly, however, they each tell stories; they don't just parade the elements of the setting and circumstances like the concept of them is the most important or interesting thing.
>> No. 102230
>>102228
>a crossover of MLP:FiM and Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
I would read that so hard.
>> No. 102233
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102233
>>102228

I've already sketched out what I want to happen in the story. I actually resolved to stay away from the "character reaction" story as much as I could. There of course has to be some of that to get the point across, but the main point of the story is going to be searching for the source of the problem, infiltrating the big hideout, and defeating the one pulling the strings at the end.

So even if a hundred stories under the same title have been made, as long my story is unique there shouldn't be a big deal, right? I guess I was just beating myself up over not being "first" (or second even) to write that kind of story.
>> No. 102234
>>102233
Unique ideas are a dime a dozen. What is important is the execution. If your writing keeps the reader interested, then you have nothing to worry about.
>> No. 102237
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102237
>>102230
Pinkie Pie would have a hard time. She'd have to do far more than sing "you've gotta share, you've gotta care" to convince the world's few surviving inhabitants to share what remains of its natural resources and habitable land. I mean damn, in the wake of the source material's resolution, all that really changed was the destruction of the crypt at Shuwa; humanity was still fucked anyway, and despite the peaceable bond made between The Valley of the Wind and the clan of the Dorok principality of Narei there was not much hint that humanity had learned anything in the wake of the warmongering abomination's demise. So the conflict becomes: despite how death is inevitable, all must perish, and life is fickle, how can the ponies, together with Nausicaä, convince the survivors to peacefully coexist?

It might actually work better in the manner of FoE's approach, with the pony universe in a similar situation: an ecological wasteland having been brought forth by abusive pony practices which over-used magic to engineer the land under the guise of increasing productivity of the land. Bah, I'm back where I started with Quiet Soil.
>> No. 102238
>>102233
Well, you would want to find a new title. And, good on you for approaching writing crossover with (what I believe to be) the correct attitude.

Come now, it's only a few words you have to revise, versus a few chapters, paragraphs or even sentences.
>> No. 102240
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102240
>>102234
>>102238
Well, I've not actually seen that particular title used, just the franchise. But I think I'll stick to it anyway.

Thanks for the pep talk guys, I really appreciate it.
>> No. 102242
>>102240
You're welcome.
>> No. 102243
A fic where a character (OC) talks in Latin, and everyone else in the story understands it and responds as if nothing happened, but the reader is left confused as fuck.

Extra points for pig latin

Extra Extra points for Gaelic and having the character being homosexual.
>> No. 102248
>>102243
That's not a story, that's a gimmick. Do you have a story to put that gimmick in?
>> No. 102252
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102252
>>102248
Shush you, that's fucking genius
>> No. 102253
>>102252
That may be true but it's still not a story.
>> No. 102256
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102256
Since we're talking gimmicks, I may as well lay this one down. It's been stirring about in my noggin' for long enough that I think it's worth fleshing out.

The gimmick is that every character talks in a certain font. The first person narrator, Charter, talks in Charter BT. Charter is a typography elitist, and he's travelling Equestria to find the perfect font. His personality is similar to Cranky Doodle, and I can imagine the opening scene going in parallels to that of the episode. Pinkie Pie shows up, talking in Comic Sans, and Charter is absolutely reviled. Still, cheap shots at Comic Sans aren't really very witty, so I don't really want to belabour that scene too much.

Most of the characters talk in either Times New Roman or Helvetica. At some point, he gets completely grossed out by a sans-serif x serif couple. (That just ain't natural.)

He goes around town being generally extremely critical of the way each person talks. (All of the character except the narrator are unaware of the font gimmick, and even he doesn't actually use names for them.) I'm imagining a scene where Granny Smith (Times New Roman) tries to lecture him about her speech, but he more-or-less dismisses her.

At this point, the reader should dislike the protag for being such a windbag. He then finds a pony who talks in Palatino. For a while, he's very infatuated by this person (font). They go on a date, and they for a good while both enjoy themselves; but as the night goes on he manages to find little flaws in her that he didn't see before. His nature as a perfectionist ruins the date, and he ends the night alone but apathetic. In the morning he decides to leave the town, having not found what he was looking for.

I'd like to have it somewhat short and somewhat of an allegory for the pitfalls of perfectionism. Of course, the mundanity of the matter is offset by the snarky nature of the narrator and also somewhat by the gimmick, so the read still has page-flipping qualities. I think there were other things I thought to work into the gimmick, but I can't remember them right now.
>> No. 102260
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102260
>>102256
>> No. 102282
>>102256
Both Squeak and Lightsideluc did something like that that in their meta "X with occasional Y" stories. Lightside even had a purposeful Mary Sue that spoke exclusively in Comic Sans.
>> No. 102286
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102286
>>102282
My face every time you make reference to Lightsideluc's exploits
>> No. 102290
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102290
Ragnarök looms. The Vanir has summoned its forces to wage war against the Æsir, and the fate of Asgard hangs in the balance. Only with the aid of Einherjar—mortal warriors raised to godhood after proving their worth—can the Æsir hope to prevail in the coming battles. Valkyrie Twilight Sparkle, the lovely warrior-maiden, descends unto earthly Midgard as she seeks brave souls to recruit and corrupt spirits to purify.

In essence, a loose adaption of the semi-popular Valkyrie Profile series. My character replacements would be:
Twilight Sparkle: Valkyrie Lenneth
Celestia the All-Mother: Odin the All-Father
Luna: Queen Hel
Pinkie Pie: Loki (Okie Dokie me!)
Cadence: Freya
Big Macintosh: Arngrim
Sweeitie Belle: Jelanda
Trixie: Mystina

...although that's just my opinion. There'd be a large number of OCs unless the writer didn't want to handle a huge cast.
>> No. 102310
>>102290
But who in the heck would (or even COULD) be Lezard?
>> No. 102339
Alright here it is, copy and pasted straight from my idea page.

Title-

Characters
- RailWind- Earth pony- Colt- Personality- RailWind is probably the most patient of the 4, waiting silent and still for periods of up to 2 weeks. He is cool tempered and is the most reasonable pony in the band. He is the kind of pony who sits back when not needed and up front when someone has two nuts and a brain to step up with intents of anything harmful. He is weak against Flashbacks and pictures of home, but is strong against hasty ponies/creatures and fast,moving targets. This gives him the edge against the invasive species because they are always hasty to destroy and are always fast and moving. Most of the time he can sit still, but sometimes he is nerve-wracked and can't think straight/wait.- Cutie Mark- His cutie Mark is wind flowing freely.

- GinWeave- Unicorn- filly- Personality- GinWeave is the best With Words and information. She can talk her way out of just about any situation, but when a blood-thirsty creatures breaks down the doors, she know how to use a staff. Well-respected and highly thought of, she knows how to get people to speak her mind. She is weak against Magic and tricks, but is cunning and is pretty good with magic. Knowing alot has it's ups and downs, but mostly ups. She can tell you something right off the back of her hoof but can fail at times when she is stressed and trying to study up.- Cutie Mark- Her Cutie Mark is a book and scroll.

- MediBolt- Pegasus Pony- filly- Personality- MediBolt Knows what she's doing when it comes to herbs and medicines, being one of the finest front-line medics. She was once in the wonderbolts, though she quit when she discovered her passion and skill with herbs. She is fast to get and tend to the injured. She is weak against the sight of fire and is sometimes undependable when a massive monster comes out of the bushes, but strong when it comes to speed, agility, and healing. Though most of the time able to stand up for herself, she can get shy depending on the current curcumstances.- Cutie mark- Her Cutie Mark is a Red Cross.

- QuickClaw- Earth Pony- Colt- Personality- QuickClaw has always been hasty and trying to get things done fast. No matter if it's work, Slicing some invasive species in half, or simply eating. He has a soft side, but rarely shows it. He is weak against helpless looks, but strong against anything that has even the IDEA of hurting his friends. This helps him on the field alot because normally, there is something willing to make a tasty stew out of the pony next to him. Normally, he is vigilent, but does space out at times when he thinks of back home, in PonyVille.- Cutie Mark- His Cutie Mark is a Two Claws striking.

Type-
- Grimdark(ish)
- Adventure
- Action

Plot-
- A small meteor made of iron falls from orbit being there since Luna was sent to the Moon
- A tiny "Animal" crawls out of Meteor With a destructive purpose
- Enters The EverFree Forest To begin the invasion
- Grows and mulitplies like parasprites except WORSE
- Becomes Planetary Invasion Force and goes out to destroy the world
- Destroys most of Equestria as the four ponies are forced to watch their homes be destroyed, leaving only barren wastelands and tiny settlements
- The 2 colts RailWind and QuickClaw and the 2 fillies GinWeave and MediBolt Band together to find the source of invasive species to put an end to the destruction and domination of the new race
- They adventure parts of Equestria where Recent attacks and gatherings of the new creature have been sighted/reported
- The Band Finally PinPoint the EverFree forest after Waging war against 100k's of these creatures and destroying creature settlement(ish) locations
- The Ponies fight the Massive Queen With everything they got leading to a costly victory
- The Band goes back to their home towns to Rebuild the towns and the nature/wildlife
- Epilouge

Etc Details-
- Describe where ponies got their skills
- Pony Backgrounds should be included
- Tell what the creatures are
- Explain why the Ponies are doing what they are doing
- Give not good, not excellent, but EPIC details!
- Make sure it has chapters
- The plot should be really good!
- Should have some funny parts in it (Keep the readers attention!)
- Captivating beggining and an excellent ending
- Heck, who knows if I'll do a sequel...

Augh that whole thing took me awhile to figure out. Any questions, I'm looking for some help writing it... unfortunately I don't have a google account... opinions anyone?
>> No. 102341
I didn't take as much time developing the plot as much as the characters, thus I am highly open to adjustments and approvements ( you get what I mean) As alas, I want this to be pretty awesome. That's just the stencil outline.
>> No. 102343
>>102310
OC, most likely.
Lucian would be Shining Armor, and his and Twilight's relationship would be that of brother and sister, as opposed to lovers like in the game.
>> No. 102354
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102354
>>101893
I just wanted to comment on this idea. Doctor Breene had a history with the Combine, because he worked at Black Mesa and played a crucial role in the events that lead to the Combine showing up on Earth and the seven hour war. What does Mayor Mare do? Are you simply putting her in the executive office of the citadel because she's the closest character you could think of to Breene? You say that the combine needs someone they can control being a leader, but how exactly do they decide upon Mayor Mare? I say, put an OC there: one who worked as an administrator in some sort of defunct experimental magic R&D firm. If you absolutely must use the mayor, explain the escalation of power and give better justification for the Combine's appointment of her so it doesn't seem that you're just force-fitting her into that role.

The story also needs more Dog, and Fluttershy teaming up with Dog as part of the rebellion against the Combine. A minor exploration of sentimentality towards machines, as part of a Fluttershy-Dog subplot, might also be in order.
>> No. 102356
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102356
Ideas without responses:
>>99729 | >>101848 | >>101895 | >>102193 | >>102339
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc6MQ&ifq
>> No. 102359
Thank you Demetrius.
>> No. 102364
>>99729
I may not be the best person to do much at all... BUT, I like the idea. the discord x Luna thing... kind of creepy, but I like it. The idea about the military war fair between the 2 places, and Equestria being vital to either side was interesting. Though I still don't quite get what "puppeteer" means, the idea is solid. Though you may want to seek attention from a better person than I, I say that it is pretty neat and you should keep trying for more help on it! Go for the sky.
>> No. 102366
>>102216

At the risk of beating this particular discussion to death, my advice would be to go ahead and write it. The act of writing a story has value, regardless of whether or not you make it on EqD.



I'm starting serious work on a story that's been on the back burner for months. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I think it'll be fun (and perhaps theraputic) to write. However, I realized rather recently my story is an unintentional adaptation of Past Sins. One of my lingering fears is that it will be immediately dismissed as "Eh, it's Past Sins, but with X instead of Y" (it's not). Regardless of this obstacle, it's important to me that I write this story, so I'm pressing onward.

If you're having fun with it, and you think your idea is unique enough to keep going, go for it. What do you have to lose?



>>102256
I'm not gonna lie: I don't like that idea.
Admittedly, I'm a little picky (I feel like most of my posts on this thread boil down to "YOUR IDEA SUXX0RZ, WRITE IT THIS WAY"), but I see two big flaws in your idea.

First off, it might be difficult for people to get the "jokes" without at least some knowlege of typefaces. For example, why is a mixed-serif couple wrong? What is a serif, anyways? I, brokenimage, know the answers to these questions, but not everyone will, and reading frequent explanations will get very old, very quickly.

The other problem I see is the font switch itself. I don't like being reminded I'm reading a story--it breaks the immersion, and keeps me less involved in what's happening. With frequent font changes, along with associated analysis ("Hm, this character is using...Times New Roman, I think? That means he's probably dignified and a little stuffy...") would be very distracting.

If you could make it work, though, you have potential for a very strong story. The basic plot (someone has a mental disorder(?) that causes him to interpret the spoken word as a typeface) might even work out well as a non-pony story. The pony elements were few and far between, as I recall--why not make it a story about a guy living in New York, or something? That way, you could perhaps get it published. If it's written well enough, I could see a typography magazine snapping it up (Do they even have those? I don't know.)

(on a technical note: Gdocs supports, like, five fonts, and you can't expect readers to have all the fonts you want installed on their computer. If you want to distribute this story online, I would suggest writing this on your own machine, then saving it as a .pdf and senting it out. That way, all your fonts and formatting and stuff will be preserved, no matter what the user's computer is doing)

>>102339
...I'm sorry to say, but I don't think I can help you with this. I'm not sure if we can help you with it.

Your plot is very vague. All I got were "Super Parasprites eat Equestria. Stuff happens and the ponies win. Epic ending." That gives us nothing to work with. In my experience, limited though it is, this thread is generally a question-and-answer place. People will say "What do you think of my idea?" or "How should I handle this situation?" You're essentially asking us to write your story for you--and to make it epic.

Also, your mechanics drove me crazy. Your capitalization of random words is distracting. Your OCs names also need spaces--"GinWeave" sounds like a corporation, while "Gin Weave" (with a space) sounds like an actual name. Not a very "pony" name, but a name nonetheless.

On that note: I glanced through your characters, and they sound like they jumped out of an RPG--including the standard class distribution (Fighter, Mage, Medic, and Thief). Also, (in-show) ponies don't use weapons, and certainly not human-specific weapons like staffs or claws. In short, your ponies don't feel like ponies to me.

And where do the names come from? Gin Weave had nothing to do with gin or weaving. Pony names generally have something to do with their talent or personality--for example, Fluttershy has a hard time flying (she "flutters") and is very shy, while Rainbow Dash trails rainbows behind her as she flies, and also flies very fast (she "dashes"). Two cool-sounding words do not a pony name make.

I apologize if I sound overly harsh, but "Make it epic" is (generally) not what we do here.

My advice at this point is to keep a word doc on your desktop. Start with the outline you have, and think about your story. As you get the idea for a scene, plug it into the outline. Continue fleshing out scenes until you have something of a continuous narrative (i.e. the beginning, the end, and how to get between the two), then start writing. Even if you don't have a whole lot to write, the act of writing the outline will help you get more ideas (This is how I write, by the way--and it's worked out well for me).

If you want someone to write the story for you, I think you're out of luck. I know of a single user who does such a thing (his name escapes me), but I don't think he's willing to do the epic-possibly-with-a-sequel story you want. If you want to go that route, work out your idea better, then approach someone you know or admire and ask them if they want to collaborate. You two could write together.

Also, like I said, your ponies feel very JRPG-y. Why not put them in an RPG instead of a fanfic? If you get your story fleshed out enough, you could perhaps scrounge up a team (or break down and buy RPGMaker) and go to town.

I hope this mess was helpful.

TL;DR: Your story is too vague for us to really help, and you're going to have a hard time getting someone to write it for you. Flesh it out more and come back.
>> No. 102368
>>99729

(Thanks for pointing this out, Rintis--I forgot about this one)

Just a quick thought--Tatrarus unilaterally moving to protect Equestria seems rather...altruistic of them. Perhaps their motives are not as charitable as they've led Equestria to believe?
>> No. 102369
>>102368
your welcome. I wondered that too. Though i wouldn't phrase it the same way. :3
>> No. 102370
>>102366
Thanks for the advice. It was on my desktop from CELESTIA knows when. I actually kind of put it on here just for it to be here. See opinions and such! Such a long and helpful opinion will better myself as a writer and will help me write a better plot. So, thank you.
>> No. 102372
>>102366
Firstly, thanks heaps for the feedback. So to address the concerns you raised...

>First off, it might be difficult for people to get the "jokes" without at least some knowlege of typefaces.
The typeface characteristics I hope to have linked closely to their characters. From a third-person perspective, it would not appear at all very odd how he reacts about these people---Pinkie Pie is incredibly annoying, Granny Smith boring (to him), etc. The reaction to a sans x serif couple is akin to a soccer mum seeing his son bring a boy home. The language I use in the narration will not refer to fonts or font names at all, so knowing anything about fonts should not be an entry barrier to the story.

>The other problem I see is the font switch itself. I don't like being reminded I'm reading a story--it breaks the immersion, and keeps me less involved in what's happening. With frequent font changes, along with associated analysis ("Hm, this character is using...Times New Roman, I think? That means he's probably dignified and a little stuffy...") would be very distracting.
I would have the reaction be to the character rather than the font. See: Pinkie Pie shows up. The reaction is not to the font per se but her personality, in a sense that she embodies Comic Sans. The trick here is certainly going to be in execution, for sure.

>why not make it a story about a guy living in New York, or something?
With pony, I only have to create one character (maybe a second for the Palatino pony). The fun is in applying font characteristics to the ponies in Ponyville. Is it personifying the font, or fontifying the pony? Heh.

>on a technical note: . . .
I've worked all the kinks of the technical side of it out. It'll be a pdf on my dropbox (See http://dl.dropbox.com/u/68611394/the_typographer.pdf). The only thing that's a bit of a tizzy is that using different fonts on the same line is hideous, so I can't use any "said" tags for speech that isn't the narrator's. However, those shouldn't be too necessary since the reader should be able to know which font is for which pony. The logistics of that I'll need to keep an eye on, though.

Another element which I sort of forgot: he considers the Helveticans an TNRians very boring. He'll at some point be rather crass towards Twilight about speaking in such a plain voice (Helvetica). The irony in it, I think, is that Charter too is a very plain, boring textbook font. I think that a lot of people also seem to think this way---think that they are the centre of the universe and are especially special, when they're really just another shade of grey.

Now I feel like the metaphor wankery here may be getting out of control.
>> No. 102373
File 133695376370.png - (91.07KB , 960x540 , Im Comic Sans.png )
102373
>>102256
> Pinkie Pie shows up, talking in Comic Sans, and Charter is absolutely reviled. Still, cheap shots at Comic Sans aren't really very witty, so I don't really want to belabour that scene too much.
Comic Sans doesn't get nearly the respect it deserves.
Just ask it: http://vimeo.com/17450666
>> No. 102374
>>102373
All the more reason to make Pinkie Pie embody Comic Sans. Heh.
>> No. 102396
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102396
How about a fic where just freaking everything goes to hell? Anything that could have went wrong did. Just throwing an idea out there.

Nightmare Moon escaped at the last second, and is still on the loose and is converting ponies to her cause for power.
The Diamond Dogs start coming out from underground, splintering off and joining whichever cause looks the most beneficial to them. Some join the good guys, but most join Nightmare Moon or Chrysalis with the promise of the gems under Canterlot.
Discord was never sealed away, and is terrorizing ponykind as his influence spreads because of the general chaos happening everywhere.
Queen Chrysalis just attacked Equestria without all the trickery, and anybody could be a changeling without having the spell Twilight used on them cast to make sure.

Shining Armor is in charge of the remaining royal guards, the elements try to regroup and try to strengthen the bonds of their friendship for the elements to work despite there being more reasons for paranoia every day, and maybe an increasingly weak Celestia who's just trying to keep her remaining loyal subjects together.

If anyone wants it, be my guest.
>> No. 102403
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102403
Featuring Twilight Sparkle. Just came up with this one.
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/28716
>> No. 102412
>>102403
While reading your sketch, a term popped into my head that you might find use for.
Wild Talents is Charles Fort's 1932 book on the paranormal.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Talents
The sort of phenomena he describes are freakish and unpredictable, much in line with what you seem to have in mind.
>> No. 102413
>>102370

Wow, that was a lot nicer of a response than I was expecting.

I just had another thought: The Ponyville swarm of parasprites wasn't a proper swarm--it was a single parasprite that happened to meet Fluttershy and her apples.

What if, instead of evil space parasprites, it's the Ponyville brand of parasprites (the kind that eat non-food items), swarming for real? IRL locust swarms cause unimaginable damage--imagine that, but they eat everything, down to bare rock.

(perhaps Twilight's spell affected the Parasprites' biology, and the Ponyville parasprites have been "breeding"--thus, there's now millions of parasprites that eat everything--and they're leaving the forest with the express purpose of feeding)

Also, like I said, your OCs feel like JRPG characters. Could you perhaps work them into a crossover?
>> No. 102426
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102426
>>102413
> (perhaps Twilight's spell affected the Parasprites' biology, and the Ponyville parasprites have been "breeding"--thus, there's now millions of parasprites that eat everything--and they're leaving the forest with the express purpose of feeding)
...
I'll just leave you with this timeless classic:
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/8.04/joy_pr.html

Also, you've been a great help in this thread. Thank you.
>> No. 102438
>>102413
Yeah, yeah... I'm liking it. I guess Crossover, grimdark, etc kind of thing, that is what your getting at right? heh heh heh. After school today I'll make some adjustments on the plot. I say we start there and then work up.from plot to character. What do you say? I like that it is the Ponyville type except, more wide spread. Hah, this opens up a lot BrokenImage. Alright, here is what's running through my head. Natural parasprite adapts to ( something ) thus allowing it to breed. It also allows them to grow bigger. The characters can be from a game like Champions: Return to Arms or maybe something else like that. TeS IV Oblivion or Skyrim. I love those games. And demetrius, I'll go read that fiction later :D
>> No. 102480
File 133702548359.jpg - (7.17KB , 244x206 , rd_shaking.jpg )
102480
Hello everypony,

a WHILE back, I posted a story pitch that I could write, involving Dash losing her "awesomeness"(going through a mental breakdown and refusing to fly anymore) after losing a race to Fluttershy. I can figure out a way for this to actually be possible (it involves tight turns and a fear/adrenaline rush), and have everything else planned out, except for one thing: How would Fluttershy accept a race challenge from Rainbow Dash. Why does RD want to challenge FS? Be careful here, if Dash challenges FS because she thinks Fluttershy has potential (like in the episode Hurricane Fluttershy), she wouldn't be shocked enough by her loss for her to go through her mental breakdown/no-fly phase.
>> No. 102482
>>102480

Maybe she was just bored or wanted to show off a new move or needed an ego boost after a 'blah' day.
>> No. 102484
>>102480
The hard part would be getting Fluttershy to accept, for sure. She hates public attention and has major performance anxiety. The race would have to have almost no witnesses for her to even consider it. But if it's just the two of them, then losing wouldn't be as big a blow to Dash.

But, while we're borrowing from Tortoise and the Hare, we can borrow from the Marx Brother's "Day at the Races". Motivate the slow horse - ahem, pony - with some external trigger. What could make Fluttershy move fast, I wondered: a dragon.

Now, how would a dragon get into the mix? What if it's not a dragon, but a griffin pulling a prank on both Fluttershy AND Rainbow Dash?

Gilda sets up the race, just barely convincing Fluttershy to stand in at the last moment for a missing contestant (maybe herself - "ow. my wing.") then proceeds to make her think she's being chased by a dragon, without Dash knowing.

End result, during the final straight-away, Fluttershy overtakes Rainbow Dash. Even after letting Dash in on the joke, Dash would still be faced with the fact that Fluttershy DID beat her.

Do with her as you will after that.

Best I could come up with to make so unlikely a situation plausible.
>> No. 102490
>>102484
Wow, that was pretty awesome. Fly away, dragons coming after! I like it!
>> No. 102500
>>102364
>>102368
HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE NOTICED ME.

That being said, I appreciate the both of your input. In case you were wondering, the "puppeteers" idea was derived from EurobeatBrony's "Discord:"
>I'm not a fan of puppeteers, but I've a nagging fear someone else is pullin' at the strings.
And now that you mention it, yes, this is Tartarus we're talking about. Rushing to defend Equestria would seem a bit out of character for a conquering empire. If any of you have played Civilization V, this will make sense to you. I envision Neighdes the Conqueror as acting similar to Montezuma: a steadfast, worthy, powerful ally right up until the moment he stabs you in the back and steamrolls his army through your empire. Perhaps Tartarus could demand some form of tribute in return for their assistance.

Well, thank you, gentlemen. This has given me a few ideas.
>> No. 102502
>>102480
>>102484

Oh, and another option is that someone like Gilda cheats on behalf of Fluttershy, making it SEEM like she won. This might be even more believable, as then she's not actually beating Dash - which a lot of people would have a problem with - but Dash can still think she was beat.

Maybe combine this with my previous idea to make something that's more believable.
>> No. 102509
>>102438

I was just tossing the crossover idea out there. It sounds like you've put a lot of work into your characters, but they don't feel like ponies to me. I was thinking your cast might fit better in a crossover, rather than a regular pony story. Perhaps put your cast in an RPG crossover, and use the mane six in your parasprite story?

To be clear: when I suggested the parasprites were "breeding," I simply meant that they were reproducing in the normal way--eating food and spitting out new 'sprites (rather than, y'know, breeding). So, now there's a proper swarm of Ponyville 'sprites that are ready to make a mess of things.

Also, it sounds like you're asking me to help workshop your idea further. I can offer isolated ideas (like I've been doing), but I'm not willing to go farther than that. I already have a couple fics I'm working on, and I'm actually in the middle of a collab right now. I'm glad I can help, and I'm flattered you're asking me, but I'll have to (pre-emtively) decline.
>> No. 102511
>>102509
The isolated ideas have been working REAL well. Thank you. If you can keep offering them, we can get a real nice plot. The RPG crossover idea was awesome and now I have some more material to work with. You've been a huge help so far. Although I can't get Applejack, or Rarity, I know Fluttershy pretty well, along with rainbow dash. So I can add them. Twilight should be pretty simple and pinky pie is the easiest. Thank you. In a bit, I'll add to my document and show you just to part I edited.
>> No. 102513
>>102500
If you need anything, talk to me. While working on mine, helping others will help the stress roll off, right?
>> No. 102515
>>102511
Er, I'll show a list and a few other things
>> No. 102516
Alright, here is the list of the ideas of possibilities.

- Crossover Rpgish type... fun fun
- Parasprite mutation allows bigger badder parasprites... great
- Mabey include 4/6 of the mane 6?
- Keep characters, they are good for the crossover
- mane 6 = parasprite story?
- mane 6 + OC = parasprite story?
- Doesn't have to be the most awesome thing ever - just satisfying.
- wide-spread invasion
- parasprite numbers in the millions with purpose of only eating ( Forest = not enough resources )
- Oc = parasprite story?
- mabey Parasprite crossover = awesome?
>> No. 102518
File 133704262334.gif - (0.96MB , 500x281 , 907.gif )
102518
>>102511
>>102513
>>102515
Why the heck are you replying in three seperate posts? Put them all in one and stop spamming.
...
Please.

Edit:
>>102516
>New pic in light of fourth spam post
>> No. 102519
.>>102517
I have a... tendency to do that. Thanks for the reminder Ion-Sturm. Now then, I will now go take a break from /fic/ and head over to Eqd, Da, and Tumblr
>> No. 102547
>>102484
As much effort you put into it, I'm afraid I can't use that.

First, I want Fluttershy to win this unaided in any way. That way Dash loss to her not only perfectly fair, but the fact that she lost to her without any aid really brings her down.

Second, this story isn't about cheating. I planned this story to be about Dash not being herself after losing the race. Plus, Fluttershy never cheats. Gilda is not going to be involved in this.

However, the dragon is what I have planned. This being an aerial race, maybe Derpy, while delivering mail finds a dragon mask, and puts it on. She veers towards the final stretch, and you can add 2 and 2 and 2 together from there.
>> No. 102562
>>102547

If I may: having Derpy accidentally scare Fluttershy like that seems rather artificial.

I would have it be an intentional prank. My first thought is that Pinkie Pie knows RD is going to be doing something on the race course, but doesn't know exactly what or when. She decides to try and scare her, and hides in the bushes with a dragon mask. For some reason, she gets the timing wrong (Shows up a little too late? Gets distracted at the wrong moment [perhaps she's lecturing an accomplice on the "proper" way to prank, or why they're pranking RD with a dragon mask?]) and misses RD--but scares Fluttershy instead.

Perhaps Pinkie wants to prank RD with the dragon mask because, no matter what brave facade RD puts on, she's actually scared of dragons (as demonstrated at the end of "Dragonshy"--when Pinkie does her dragon roar, RD "Faints" like Fluttershy). Perhaps Pinkie wants to put RD in her place, maliciously or no.

Also, thinking about their motivation behind the race--Fluttershy doesn't seem like the type to want to compete, especially after her behavior in "Hurricane Fluttershy" (where she has very low self-esteem about her flying activities).
What if they're not racing? Perhaps they're out for a morning "jog" together, or RD is demonstrating an "obstacle course." Perhaps they're out casually flying, and RD says, somewhat jokingly, "Race you to that [landmark]!" and takes off (If you're having Pinkie Pie prank Fluttershy, choose that moment to jump out--she's just two seconds two slow to catch her intended prey). I think RD is prideful enough that if another pony is faster than her, even in a non-competitive setting, she'd still be deeply hurt.

Also: bonus points if you can somehow work in a Sonic Flutterboom :)
>> No. 102563
>>102562
Have Fluttershy see the mask and cause her to be so frightened that she takes off in a yellow blur, passing Dash in an adrenaline-fueled fear flight. Dash is far too gung-ho to be scared by a bloody mask. That entire idea is flawed at the base level.

Also, you could set it up so that it is competative; Fluttershy wants to be a better flyer, and Dash challengers her to a race to test her mettle. It's a friendly competition, but not one Rainbow could ever expect to lose.
>> No. 102617
>>102563
That's exactly it. It needs to be competitive, Rd can't be scared by the mask. And I think I found a way.

After losing ground with a lot of undershooting turns RD was going too fast for. She manages to pull ahead in towards the final stretch. It involves diving down through the streets of Ponyville where some random pony casually puts on a dragon mask after RD passes, but before Fluttershy. She sees it, and the fear/adrenaline rush speeds up FS to a pink and yellow bullet that leaves RD in the dust and reaches the finish by a very noticeable margin.

As for Rainbow's early mistakes, She gets stuck in tree branches, undershoots corners (crashing into clouds), performs loops to avoid obstacles that actually add distance, and gets mud dirt in her eyes (not wearing goggles). Fluttershy avoids all these by flying slower.
I know that these are all sound like rookie mistakes for a near-professional flyer, but Dash doesn't realize it.
>> No. 102623
>>102617
Too many mistakes. Have her show off. What's the use of winning if you can't flaunt your skills a bit? If she leaves Fluttershy in the dust, there's no sport in it for her.
>> No. 102645
>>102617

Again, your timining with the mask feels artificial to me--he just happens to put on the mask after RD comes by, but before Fluttershy does? Doesn't seem realistic.

Perhaps the pony is wearing the mask already, and RD either doesn't notice it (flying too fast or something) or doesn't care. Perhaps there's a cart or a store selling stuffed animals, one of them being a (surprisingly realistic) stuffed dragon. Maybe there's a colletion of objects (green sequined fabric, an open flame, a sail) that Fluttershy mistakes for a dragon.
>> No. 102670
>>102519
Oh... really? I appreciate the offer, Rintis. I would've replied sooner, but I didn't notice until now. How can I get in contact with you?
>> No. 102735
>>102670
Hmm... got skype or steam?
>> No. 102766
I had this idea... and I wanted to use it. However, I have too many projects already. So here, I would love to see someone write this.

Derpy makes a strange device. Twilight discovers the device and is determined to figure out what it is. It frustrates her to no end until... it's revealed that it's a toaster... and Twilight burnt the toast.
>> No. 102784
>>102735
http://steamcommunity.com/id/conchshellthegeek7/
There you go. Go crazy.

>>102766
I have a few too many projects myself at the moment, so I can't puck this up. But I would like to suggest some corrolaries.
>Bonus points if the device is a gigantic, overcomplicated Rube Goldberg machine.
>Bonus points if Twilight tries to take the device apart in her efforts, but Derpy stops her.
>Bonus points if the device has an unintentional secondary function that proves to be incredibly useful, like generating electricity.
>> No. 102801
>>102784
Steam Name is Kuyrissen
>> No. 102802
We'll work on your story. ( Done posting for the night )
>> No. 102915
Hello good people!

I am looking for ideas for my story The Five Ponies You Meet in Heaven. The premise is the same as the book it's based on, where [?]Twilight and her friends die in a hotel fire and meet five ponies who have influenced their lives[?]. I prefer someone who has read the original work by Mitch Albom. I just need help with [?]finding five original stories instead of using the ones from the book. I want them to be more than the "slice-of-life" lessons that you would find in your run-of-the-mill episode.[?]

Here is what I have written so far:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/18U5li5xXIu_8boPjHEOwlHn2AUPZQ51KCD1qQ6-KPUo/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cep3dYqaKRAFBt7WLCYZWcxQtNDulfA1x0FfVtsghrU/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c0I-aYTX4_XLT0H43bKNAAcMmsJWijsY3hk342p11Z4/edit

My Ideas Document:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GLxguNqpn_0hiOoDjoMnITb41LrwKDmMdNy89h0TILs/edit

My email for those who are interested is [?]cejones90@gmail.com[?]

This is my first time here, so please tell me if I'm doing this right. Thanks!

p0n00b.
>> No. 102916
...and I already botch the spoilers. I fail =(
>> No. 103058
File 133737218536.png - (21.02KB , 119x150 , twilight__s_revenge_by_mikefox2400-d4hmuoy.png )
103058
Ok first time here, let's see if anyone thinks this could be an interesting idea; the characters of Drakengard and/or Neir have ended up in Esquestria via teleportation snafu. Unfortunately, the Grotesqueries have taken a shine to this newly discovered world. The main challenge for this idea is keeping the character interaction in-character. Can someone help me get this story off the ground?
>> No. 103063
File 133737411836.jpg - (45.34KB , 430x286 , hitch03[1].jpg )
103063
>>103058
Story ideas are like kissing: You go 90% of the way, and leave the last 10% for whoever is helping you; too little, and your helper won't bother.
All you have to offer is "Universe X meets Universe Y, Z happens." The only reply you'll get to that is a resounding "Meh".
Are we talking Nier Gestalt and Replicant here, or something else entirely? Because if it's the former, you should really write it around the amazing music in the game.
>Goes to listen to Temple of Drifting Sands for the thousandth time
>> No. 103068
File 133737653077.jpg - (5.59KB , 215x235 , psycho.jpg )
103068
While writing, rewriting, and rewriting my chrysalis/Trixie fic I've got this one idea stuck in my head. It would focus on an OC psychologist character (probably named simple psych or something similar), curing Screwloose of his schizophrenia (Ap psych students amateur diagnosis) and then needing to find a new place in society for him (since his special talent appears to be being schizophrenic). I just want to know if this is an idea worth following up on or if its total crap or if its already been done. Thanks
>> No. 103071
File 133737703569.jpg - (232.79KB , 920x598 , 20110402.jpg )
103071
>>103068
>Screwloose
>Him
Where the heck did you get that idea from? Screwloose's design is obviously a mare's.
>> No. 103074
>>103068
> (since his special talent appears to be being schizophrenic)
How do you reach this conclusion?
Is it the screw on her butt? Because I have other theories behind that, none of which have to do with her mental state.

This is an even worse conclusion than Diamond Tiara's talent being wearing jewelry.
>> No. 103080
>>103063
Hmm... I was thinking of using Gestalt for the Nier'verse and I have several plot threads swirling around in my mind, some for character development, like a conversation between Caim and Shining Armor concerning their sisters, (I'm going to be including the canceled prequel manga in the backstory), Weiss and Emil's backstories, and Furiae getting some MAJOR characterization via a pact. Others include Tyrann's past and his possible connection to the group that stole Angleus' corpse during the Legion War, Inuart ending up being separated from his 'beloved Goddess' by the D-Shift and him terrorizing the countryside on dragon-back trying to find her. As for the D-Shift itself, well, I have my ideas but I need to develop them a little more.
>> No. 103082
>>103063
Also, sorry for not elaborating. The original idea sounded a lot better in my head. Then again, I guess they all do.
>> No. 103119
File 133739898241.jpg - (9.41KB , 225x225 , shrug.jpg )
103119
>>103071
Yeah I really screwed up there (bu dum tish). Good thing I haven't started writing yet. I guess the hair through me off as to me at least it's very masculine.
>>103074
I can accept that critism to a point. Gleaning is what I'm basing my knowledge off here. Having a name like Screwloose, acting like you have "A screw loose in your head", being institutionalized, and having a screw cutie mark makes it so it isn't exactly the largest stretch of the imagination to assume she has had this diesease since day one. Still I could be wrong. Maybe she's just really a good construction worker who happened to lose their mind.

But still I haven't gotten a real answer of whether or not it is a good idea.
>> No. 103125
File 133740117491.jpg - (4.83KB , 225x225 , derpy.jpg )
103125
>>103119
Through! Really? Sometimes, I feel like I need to go back to elementary school.
>> No. 103128
File 133740141501.png - (133.78KB , 720x450 , Yudkowsky-vs-Hanson-AI-Singularity-debate-ponified.png )
103128
>>102438
Uh... Why The Future Doesn't Need Us is not fiction per se. It's a very insightful article on Wired magazine from April 2000 (I 8.04) written by Bill Joy, co-founder of Sun Microsystems, developer of the Berkeley Standard Distribution of Unix, and inventor of the famous and ubiquitous Vi text editor. I thought the article highly relevant to the discussion. The gist of it is that basically, if parasprites self-replicating automatons get out of hand, we're all fucked.
>> No. 103147
This seems to fit better here than it does in the scene writing thread...
I'm working on my Old Celestia fic now. In it, Celestia feels the weight of her 1200+ years, and feels lonely and isolated. Part of what I wanted to do was to make her more of a tragic figure--"Sad-lestia" if you will.
As an experiment, I re-worked a scene from the show, to try and make Celestia more sad and lonely. It's the scene where Celestia assigns Twilight to live in Ponyville, from the season 1 opener. This is the first time that Celestia has really reached out to someone in a long, long time.

There's a few things I'm not perfectly happy with (including a logical contradiction) but it's a rough draft, so I'm letting it slide.

My question is, does this scene work? That is, is it turn Celestia into Sad-lestia without breaking canon too badly?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_TjzvCnnMISSFFxRys13hYLSMeRldP7s_coHTZXg2zM/edit

Thanks for your help, everypony!
>> No. 103148
File 133740455262.png - (285.95KB , 700x522 , 1336971336561.png )
103148
>>103074
Story ideas that haven't been responded to (with more than just a reaction image):
>>99729 | >>101848 | >>101895 | >>102193 | >>102915 | >>102396 | >>102516 | >>102915

Did you click the "read more" link expecting more?

Haha, made you look.
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>> No. 103149
I just looked on Story Forge Queue and saw my inquiry posted twice.

Just thought I'd make you guys aware...
>> No. 103150
File 133740468962.jpg - (163.60KB , 640x529 , learn-the-difference.jpg )
103150
>>103147
Whoops, you ninja'd me. Added.
>> No. 103152
File 133740525104.jpg - (65.39KB , 600x278 , 1302382120832.jpg )
103152
>>103147
Done to death. Sad-lestia is on just about the same tier as Tyrantlestia for being incredibly cliche'd.
>> No. 103154
File 133740654759.jpg - (142.07KB , 1280x720 , MLP_FiM_S02E19_snapshot_02_29.jpg )
103154
>>103119
> Having a name like Screwloose, acting like you have "A screw loose in your head", being institutionalized, and having a screw cutie mark

Derpy could and quite likely be a nickname. Being institutionalized is not someone's 'one true talent'. Having a nickname like Screwloose, being institutionalized, and having a screw cutie mark would lead me to think of a construction or repair worker who spent too much time isolated from society and lost their grip on sanity. Then coming back to such wonderful Ponies in ponyville (pic related) that they would not interact with them, making the condition worse.

>>103068
> curing Screwloose of his schizophrenia
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/schizophrenia_treatment_support.htm
Think of schizophrenia as similar to a chronic medical condition like diabetes: although currently there is no cure, it can be treated and managed with medication and supportive therapies.

There's no simple way to describe how much more research you'll need to do to do this in a manner that won't come off offensive to people who's lives have been affected by schizophrenia.

This isn't even TOUCHING on the fact that her behavior more closely fits for Multiple Personality Disorder/Disassociative Identity Disorder with an animal alter.

Especially considering the primary difference between the two conditions.
>> No. 103194
File 133744180830.jpg - (11.14KB , 246x205 , butthurts.jpg )
103194
>>103154
I'm like to start off by saying I'm sorry for the last post. I was bitter at the time and the post showed it.

Now, onto business. I see your arguments for multiple personality disorder. I know about the disorder but until now I really had no clue people with it legitimately had personalities of animals. That being said, in my defense DID/MPD have been misdiagnosed as schizophrenia since the beggining of classification of mental disorders.

Now I'd like to address your social isolation argument. Even if you go with MPD/DID or Schizophrenia you'll see social problems in the adult life has nothing to do with either diesease. Schizophrenia is caused by an excess of dopamine in the brain, not social issues. MPD/DID are thought to be caused by childhood sexual or physical abuse, not adult social stressors. Either route you take you see that one can't blame Screwlooses behavior on social isolation and the goofy mall brat ponies.

As for the cure idea, I was trying to imply something scientific. The fact is Equestria isn't a perfect replica of earth. Dues ex machina's exist all over (Oh you chipped a tooth. Don't head to a dentist to get it fixed. I have a potion to repair teeth instantly right here). I was trying to imply that the "cure" would simply act as a permanant version of treatment aka. rather then a temporary stoppage of excess dopamine from reaching the neurotransmitters how about a permanant one?
>> No. 103207
File 133745220600.png - (57.96KB , 228x283 , lyra 3 face.png )
103207
there should be a story where Lyra finds one of these things http://astretchyhand.com/
>> No. 103210
File 133745283563.jpg - (8.39KB , 299x168 , idea.jpg )
103210
In my continuing research on schizophrenia and DID I just realized an very important fact that just somehow managed to slip my mind. Schizophrenia doesn't affect its victims until young adulthood.

Therefore the idea is now Screwloose is a construction worker who has been off work for an undetermined amount of time due to the emergence of schizophrenia. Therefore OC psychologist comes with an experimental treatment to help out. The treatment however ends up causing memory loss (Common side effect of many psychological treatments ECG being the biggest example) and needs to stay with Screwloose as she tries to adjust back to regular life again.

I'm not going with DID because it is to confusing (to the point where it is still debated whether or not it is a legit disease). Besides that I hope this is a better idea.
>> No. 103213
>>103152

I'm aware that this kind of thing has been done before, but I'd still like to write it--I have some ideas that I think are rather unique. Could someone please take a look at that scene for me?

(original post: >>103147)
>> No. 103241
>>102915
Umm... is there anyone looking at this?

I'm sorry if I'm being a little impatient.
>> No. 103246
>>103241
There have been stories with a similar vibe, namely the ones featuring the past bearers of the Elements of Harmony. However, I can't say I've seen anything exactly like that.

>>103213
So did the other people that made Sad-lestia fics. Instead of trying to mooch a free pre-read, how about you instead list what makes your story so "special"? Chances are it's been done three times over, and one of those times is almost certainly better than what you'll do. 'Tis a reality of writing.
>> No. 103250
Dropping this idea off for public use as I have neither the time nor the writing ability to do it justice.

Does Rainbow Dash's intrinsic loyalty give her unusual opinions and perspectives on organ donation?


As for possibly the darkest way to take this prompt:
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy the choice of Fluttershy is rather arbitrary here are in an accident of some sort. Fluttershy is on life support and the doctors believe it is unlikely she'll pull out. Rainbow Dash comes out much better off, however, her liver is badly damaged and she needs a transplant. As it so happens, Fluttershy is a match for Rainbow Dash. As Fluttershy has no nearby relatives and Rainbow Dash is her oldest friend, Rainbow Dash is Fluttershy's executor to make decisions on her behalf while she is incapacitated. Rainbow Dash has to decide whether or not to take her off life support.

As for a possible ending to the above scenario: Rainbow Dash takes Fluttershy off life support, but refuses to accept her liver. She wakes up after surgery, having received a transplant from a different donor. Fluttershy's organs save several other ponies in the hospitalHer liver ends up going unused and after an autopsy, is found to have a defect that would have made it unusable for a transplant
>> No. 103252
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103252
>>103246
Thanks. However (I don't mean to sound rude), I really would like to work with someone who can help me with getting ideas and stringing them all together. I've been working on this fic for who knows how long, and I've hit writers block...

On another completely random note, I watched The Avengers today! Wow... just... wow! It was amazing :D
>> No. 103276
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103276
So I'm currently on my fourth rewrite of the beginning hook of a fic I'm working on, and in it, Dash seeks Twilight's help to learn a sonic rainboom before her competition in Cloudsdale.

I've already gotten to the point that Twilight has agreed to train her, so could anyone toss out ideas on either funny, or friend-shipping related ideas of what could happen while they are training.

A couple of notes about the situation:
- Dash asked Twilight to be her "coach, or something"
- She asked after crashing into the library through an open window and knocking over a bookshelf, much to Twilight's vexation.
- Dash has had to explain to Twilight what the best young flier competition is, and what a sonic rainboom is.
- Dash is the one who develops the crush on Twilight, and Twilight isn't at all receptive to it when she finds out.

I will brainstorm on this myself, but any ideas would be appreciated.
>> No. 103355
Gentlemen, I have this fantastic idea for a story in which can be read at (warning if you go through with this i have so many ideas it could be next to seasons worth of content) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QxGMhYD0hQG7Em4DNqMvSUcOqABSmZ6ShktpGTergos/edit but im going to need people such as ANIMATORS WRITERS MUSICIANS ARTISTS AND ANY OTHER PONY REALATED PEOPLE details willl be later Email me at utimaomega@gmail.com
>> No. 103357
>>103355
Then you should be in /collab/, not /fic/. Go and read the board and rule pages again.
>> No. 103391
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103391
>>103357
Hey now, story brainstorming needn't be limited to written stories.

>>103355
As for you: if you wish to actually get something of value from this thread, I recommend using it for what it does best: providing an open forum where we look at stories (or at least story premises) on a broad scale from beginning to end and critique/judge/develop them. It isn't a good place for keeping parts of your story hidden. I tried to open the document linked to and, lo and behold, I didn't have permission to view it. If your only goal is to try recruiting people to work on making your story into an animated featurette or something, then this isn't the best place, because people come here looking for promising story ideas, not haughty promises of promising story ideas. Thus, you'd do well to change the sharing settings to allow anyone with the link to view the document. Also, this thread doesn't get that much traffic, and story ideas often get lost/forgotten (which is why I keep track of ones that have been overlooked). Speaking of which, here they are:

>>99729 >>101848 >>101895 >>102193 >>102396 >>102516 >>103207 >>103210 >>103250 >>103276
>> No. 103392
>>103276

I'll throw my ideas here rather than e-mail in the hopes they inspire some brainstorming with others. One of the big issues with Flying High, Falling Hard - and one I can see PRs picking on hard - is that it's first story arc is behind the scenes of "Sonic Rainboom," but it contradicts canon pretty severely.


- In canon Twilight learns about the Best Young Flier from Pinkie, not Dash.
- But Dash wants Twilight's help.
- Dash is too embarrassed to ask directly. But she still wants Twilight to watch and cheer.
- There's also the whole thing with Dash helping Twilight with the truth-telling spell going on at more or less the same time.
- idea: maybe expand to other mental spells (?)
- In canon Dash practices in front of Fluttershy (cutest scene ever). In the context of FHFH, this scene becomes that Dash is frustrated with Twilight, so she practices with Fluttershy instead.
- Because she's too nervous to perform in front of her crush. (She doesn't know that's what's happening to her at this point, just that she really hates screwing up in front of Twilight.)
- But she doesn't want to hurt Twi's feelings, so she's seeing Fluttershy behind Twilight's back.
- not that there's anything disloyal about that, technically. The catch is that subconsciously she's starting to think about herself and Twilight in that light.

One of the big milestones in FHFH is that Dash spends a night waiting (stubborn-as-shit) outside Twi's door. In the rain. And gets sick. That becomes even more heartbreaking if you know she's trying to train at the same time...

Things that should go wrong:

- First thing to go wrong: Dash isn't happy with her routine for BYF. She decides to ask Twilight for help. Surface explanation: Twilight's smart and can figure out what she's doing wrong. Deeper explanation: Dash craves Twilight's approval (and her schexy curves).

- Twilight's truth spell is a lot more entertaining than Dash expected - she agrees to help Twilight as a quid-pro-quo (Twilight does not ask for a favor in return for cheering Dash; Dash just sees things that way on her own).

- Dash wants to impress Twilight with the Sonic Rainboom, but know's she needs practice. She only asks indirectly ("How do I fly really fast? Like if I wanted to break a speed record. No, I'm not actually going to do anything that dangerous.")

- Dash steals Twilight's first kiss. Then stays outside in the rain all night and gets sick. Major setback to training. Twi still doesn't know that Dash is training.

- Dash has Fluttershy watch and cheer, because she's getting desperate, but it feels like she's cheating.

--

Ideas for the part in Cloudsdale:

The show only implies that everything happens in one day. Have Dash and Fluttershy plan to fly up the day before the competition. That opens up the schedule a bit.

The weather-factory scene opens with
>Rainbow Dash: Hey, we've got some time before the competition. Why don't Fluttershy and I show you around Cloudsdale?

That implies that it's the same day as the competition. Now, what do our little ponies do with that extra evening?

Twilight finds an excuse to get Rainbow by herself and take her out for a well-researched night-before-competition meal - and to apologize for her knee-jerk rejection and ask if maybe they might call it a first date...
--
Just some things to think about. I think it's good to stick with canon when you can, and this story can.
>> No. 103395
>>103246
Thanks, but that doesn't help me at all. Not that I want to be rude, but this isn't the help I was expecting at all. I was wanting someone to help me string my ideas together, not someone to tell me that they've seen a similar story.

>>102915
This is my original post. Can I put it in the queue again, or am I out of luck?
>> No. 103396
>>103210
Mm. I'll give this a shot... I'm not a psych student, so I can only write mental illness / maladaptation from my own experiences. I can do decently realistic atypical depression with suicidal ideation (and have done in a crappy abandoned non-pony fic). Doesn't mean I want to visit that topic again. Schizophrenia isn't one of my experiences, so I'm out of my league there.


Pony standpoint: Thinking differently is in general more accepted in Equestria. Look at Twilight's frequent self-delusion or Pinkie Pie. Seriously, Pinkie Pie. This is also a universe with things like Poison Joke. I'd strongly recommend a concept where Screwloose is recovering from a magical mishap, trauma, or side-effect of treatment. Something along those lines.

(werewolf pony?)

Storytelling standpoint.

"Character has to adjust to a new life (new-to-the-character)" is a character-driven story. As such, expect it to be long. It will need multiple, layered conflicts to build the plot. I can quite confidently say you don't have anything near enough to start yet.

If you do choose to take that route, you'll need to work out the character traits of your principals next. I'm not seeing the idea clearly, but I can say this: stories about major mental illness have an element of the grotesque to them. Basically, you need to find ways for Screwloose to shock and horrify while remaining sympathetic. And ways for psych-pony to not treat her with the respect and kindness she deserves while the readers can see themselves making exactly the same mistakes. There's an awkwardness that results from bizarre behavior jamming the social instincts that keep social beings feeling comfortable. That's what you'd have to capture.

I know it's beyond my skill.


But, I think it will both be easier and better-accepted to do a "revelation-of-cause" story: how Screwloose went "barking mad," the impact on the ponies who already have a relationship to her, and their struggles towards recovery together. I can see that playing out in a short story and being well liked.

Ultimately, the choice depends on what you feel is authentic and what you're willing to write. There are other options too - I just don't see them right now.
>> No. 103398
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103398
>>103395
I'm only human. If I see a response to a story idea, I mark it. Sometimes (as you've seen) I will forget or overlook that a story has been entered (i.e. by the actual poster and not myself) and enter it a second time. Sometimes I mark stories as responded to when the response was hardly adequate.

What I do around here isn't super-important. I'm not a bureaucratic machine that must be appealed to. Hell, anyone can fill out the form to put a record in the spreadsheet, so it surprises me that I'm more often than not the only one making entries. I just keep track of stuff because in the past when I used Story Forge I got annoyed when nobody noticed my (or other people's) story ideas after getting buried under a certain number of posts. Anyone could do it, really. I'm almost intentionally being sloppy at it because this is such a loosely-structured thread in the first place that no official structure or criteria for what counts as a response or a request/inquiry seems necessary. Thus, we have little situations like this.
>> No. 103614
My goodness. You can almost hear the crickets chirping in here...
>> No. 103615
>>103614
Put it this way: The more interesting your idea is, the more likely someone will help you with it.
>> No. 103637
Whoa hey I haven't been on /fic/ in forever. Anyway, I just decided to come in there with an idea I had: MLP/Dresden Files/Dota 2 crossover. The format would be that the Mane Six and six major Dresden Files characters (the ones I had in mind are Dresden himself, Molly, Murphy, Thomas, Michael, and Ebenezar, although I could feasibly replace Ebenezar with Bob) are placed into a forest by Discord and forced to play a game; that game being Dota 2. And just as an extra incentive to play, the Ancients are Twilight and Molly respectively. Each other character would essentially be one of the heroes in the game. For instance, Harry would be Invoker, and Fluttershy would be Chen. Just kinda wondering what everyone here thinks about this. I don't know if I'm going to write it myself.
>> No. 103638
Whoa hey I haven't been on /fic/ in forever. Anyway, I just decided to come in there with an idea I had: MLP/Dresden Files/Dota 2 crossover. The format would be that the Mane Six and six major Dresden Files characters (the ones I had in mind are Dresden himself, Molly, Murphy, Thomas, Michael, and Ebenezar, although I could feasibly replace Ebenezar with Bob) are placed into a forest by Discord and forced to play a game; that game being Dota 2. And just as an extra incentive to play, the Ancients are Twilight and Molly respectively. Each other character would essentially be one of the heroes in the game. For instance, Harry would be Invoker, and Fluttershy would be Chen. Just kinda wondering what everyone here thinks about this. I don't know if I'm going to write it myself.
>> No. 103639
...I can't tell whether I double posted or didn't post at all here. It looks like a double post on the /fic/ front page, but neither post shows up on the thread page. If it is a double post, sorry, I don't know what went wrong. If it isn't, then okay then post doesn't really have a point and you can just ignore it.
>> No. 103640
Any idea how to ponify the Xbox 360? I have no idea how to insert pony words into the name...
>> No. 103786
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103786
Warning: huge story dump/outline incoming.

Also warning: potential cliches incoming.

One thing I like to do as a fic writer is explore more realistic themes. I wrote a story that made it to EqD about Twilight reflecting on her friends moving away from Ponyville, and what it means to be happy. Friendship is nice, but it isn't some all powerful force that never fades. Being with friends can make you happy, but pursuing your own goals can also make you happy.

My EqD fic was more of a reflection/summary piece. With this new fic I'm working on, I want to get more in depth.

The idea is simple: about ten years in the future, Rainbow Dash gets a job offer to be part of the Equestria Weather Squad, the highest level of weather ponies headquartered in Cloudsdale. To accept the job, she would have to move back to Cloudsdale permanently. The main conflict, of course, is whether or not to take the job.

Now, I realize this idea has been done before, perhaps to DEATH, but I'm hoping having it be about a high ranking weather job instead of the Wonderbolts will make it somewhat refreshing. Instead of being offered a job in the Wonderbolts, she's being offered a job that could MAYBE lead to a position in the Wonderbolts down the road.

Like I said, I'm trying to make this more realistic, and there's a lot I want to convey with this story. Basically, we all have our own dreams, but what happens when we have to take that next step and make sacrifices? Rainbow is happy with her friends, but they've all drifted apart over the years as they started doing their own thing, so she doesn't see them as often. In fact, she blames herself for this. She was the first to start doing her own thing, picking up extra weather shifts and eventually becoming Ponyville Weather Head. A little while after, every other pony became busier. She views herself as the catalyst for her friends drifting apart.

In this story, I want to focus on loyalty as a purely mental and emotional thing, rather than as an element. RD feels loyalty to her friends not because of her element, but because of all the time she has spent with them over the years and how much she means to them. As such, the story will avoid talking about the physical Element itself.

This is where things might get a little wonky, so stick with me.

Rainbow ends up talking to Spitfire about the job, and asks for advice. Spitfire asks her one simple question: "Why do you fly?"

Cue a brief flashback (the first of many I have planned). Rainbow used to have a sister named Silver Staff who was a near prodigy on the violin. As such, she received most of the attention, with RD being largely ignored by their parents (not on purpose, I want to think, though). RD never goes to Silver's performances, because all she can think about is how much more special her sister is, and talented she is. Now, I'm thinking this jealousy could drive RD to find something she is really good at, which ends up being flying. However, she still ends up being ignored, which eventually leads to an outburst by young RD, right in front of her parents and Silver.

Following this would be a conversation between Silver and RD. SIlver would say that she's hurt, but no matter how much RD may hate her, she will always keep pushing on with her violin. This sense of determination would stick with RD throughout her life. She also encourages RD to stick with her flying, and expresses her own jealousy. The two sisters make up and become close.

Now, this may be obvious, but Silver is deceased. I haven't worked out all the details yet, but I'm thinking she suffers a wing cramp and plummets to the ground. Rainbow tries to catch her, but can't reach her in time. So we have several reasons why Rainbow Dash flies:

-Started out from jealousy of her sister
-Her passion grew from her sister's determination and encouragement
-When she was unable to save her sister, that only drove her harder. She figures the faster she can fly, the more in control she can be of a given situation, and never let any other pony fall under her watch.

But there's also something else. Like I said, Silver was close to a musical prodigy, and had an extremely bright future, obviously. And Rainbow saw that all snuffed out right in front of her. So RD has this sense of "Seize the moment, because you don't know how much time you have left in life."

So this sense of determination is going against Rainbow's dedication to her friends. As she mulls over the decision, she begins to wonder just what it means to be happy, how much she means to her friends, and how things would turn out if she left. Yet even as she rediscovers how much she loves her friends, there's always that niggling feeling that she's stuck in the same rut, and that she should take the job.

Now, Twilight works in City Hall, and finds out about RD's job offer. RD doesn't think any other pony knows; she can't bear to tell her friends about it and make them worry that she might leave them. Twilight uses her position to organize a city wide ceremony thanking RD for her contributions as Ponyville Weather Head. RD and her squad were so good at weather duties, crop yields were the best in Equestria. Basically, Twilight is trying to guilt trip RD into staying. She knows RD can either stay in Ponyville, and have secure happiness, or take a chance and move, where happiness isn't guaranteed, but the potential happiness is much higher. Twilight, being who she is, would of course take the guaranteed option. She doesn't want to take the chance that RD would take the second option.

One potential twist is that RD writes a letter to Celestia asking for advice. RD would view this as potentially taboo, but she has no other pony to turn to, since she can't tell her friends about the job offer. I like letters because they allow me to dump in awesome quotes about my personal viewpoints, but whatever.

In the end, she will take the job, because that's what she did in my EqD fic, but I'll make it clear that she doesn't know if she'll be happy or not.

Whew. I think that covers most of the important points. Part of the challenge will be writing a believable introspective RD.

Also, please tell me if this is a completely flat, unoriginal idea, and I should be ashamed of myself for putting so much time and effort into it.

Any thoughts or ideas on this concept, perhaps for scenes to flesh out the story (I have a handful right now) are greatly appreciated.
>> No. 103792
>>103786

>please tell me if this is a completely flat, unoriginal idea, and I should be ashamed of myself for putting so much time and effort into it.

I'm going to use the recent Avengers film as a point of comparison. If you saw The Avengers, you'll know that the plot of the story is very basic. Loki is invading Earth, and the heroes must retrieve the ancient artifact he's stolen and stop him. That's it. The plot, in itself, is one of the most basic ones in existence. But the plot isn't why everyone loved The Avengers. Everyone loved The Avengers because it had a good set of characters that play off each other well and it has excellent action, among other things.

What I'm trying to say here is that unoriginality is not necessarily a bad thing. If you take an idea that's been done before, that doesn't automatically make it a bad story. Have stories like this one been done before? Oh, most definitely. But if you put thought and effort into your idea, which you clearly have, you can and, if you ask me, should weave it into a good story.
>> No. 103821
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103821
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com (typically spelled with no intercaps) was co-founded by Doug Walker to be a home for, among other things, his "Nostalgia Critic" videos, where he talked about movies and TV shows from his childhood (the 80s and 90s). In the almost four years to come, TGWTG has expanded to be the home of a disconcertingly large number of Internet comedians who review various other things with a similar format, such as Angry Joe's video game reviews, Linkara's comic book reviews, and The Cinema Snob's exploitation film reviews.

So basically, a while ago, I said to myself: "What if That Guy with the Glasses was pony?"

I plan to make a series of fan fictions where various reviewers from TGWTG are ponies. They aren't turned into ponies--they've always been ponies. They live in a world that's similar to the world of Friendship is Magic. In this theoretical world, though, the Elements of Harmony are revered for having saved Equestria and the world so often. They officially signed their likenesses into the public domain, which led to the creation of a cultural movement called "Harmonic fiction." Basically, pony fiction in pony. And That Stallion With The Glasses and his cohorts take Harmonic fiction and review it!

I intend to make mock scripts for various episodes of TSWTG review shows. I realize that this could work better as a comic strip or animation, but I can't draw or animate. Writing's what I do, so I'll do it. I'll parody the reviewer I'm using for each piece of Harmonic fiction, reviewing that piece of Harmonic fiction in the style of that reviewer. Now, it should be noted: All Harmonic fiction is BASED on pony fan labor, but not all Harmonic fiction IS pony fan labor. For example, the first "episode" has the pony equivalent of Phelous Neighlous reviewing a Hostel-esque Stable-esque prequel/adaptation of Sgt. Sprinkles' "Cupcakes." (By the way, I need a name for a ponified Eli Roth.)

So, That Guy With the Glasses fans, is this a good idea? If so, where else do I go with this? The reviewers I've come up with pony names so far are:
>Nash's "What the Fuck is Wrong With You?" -- Neighsh's "What the Buck is Wrong With You?"
>Oancitizen's "Brows Held High" -- Oatcitizen's "Horns Held High"
>Todd in the Shadows's Pop Song Reviews -- Trot in the Shadows's Pop Song Reviews
>> No. 103846
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103846
I quit writing fanfiction because I'm a slow writer and already have a pony animation going underway, so I'm gonna post my idea here for someone to use it. I simply thought of this one on the way back of the Home Depot, so I'm sure it’s nothing new. But as a bonus, I characterized the main protagonists for you. You decide the mane six’s role.

There are two earth ponies that live in the cape of Equestria known as Trotston. Their names are Soapy and Kopps (short for Kopper). Both of them are gifted, and seek purpose in society where they are labeled "average minded." Soapy is always the stuck up center of attention and the leader, and Kopps is the exact definition of “you’re so smart, you’re stupid.” He is almost as witty, yet open minded and makes humorous remarks as to why the two are friends. But in the end, the reason why they got along so well was because they both were frustrated by the small-mindedness of earth pony society.

(Soapy is a mare, and Kopps is a colt. However, they’re just friends. Nothing further than that.)

Backstory: As young adults, Soapy came up with a scheme that was doomed to fail. Both her and Kopps tried to apply to Celestia’s school of gifted unicorns, and attended the audition with coiled toilet paper rolls on their foreheads to disguise themselves as unicorns. After a humiliating audition, they are dismissed ineligible from applying to Celestia’s school, due to the lack of real horns. The story spread all through Canterlot and ponies throughout the city were laughing at them. Now as full grown earth ponies, Soapy and Kopps often discuss their newborn hatred towards unicorns, tossing racial slurs like ‘pixie rats’ or ‘virgin magnets’ in everyday private conversation (this statement is optional). Earth ponies will never have the high life like unicorns will.

Exposition: One day, Kopps realized their future was fulfilled. After messing with some experimental substances in the lab concocting a remedy for his headache, he accidentally unlocked the formula of magic – a theorized framework that was long thought to be non-existent. Turns out it’s real. The liquidlike substance shared all the properties of a horn but could release large surges of spells out of its own control. Apparently Kopps’ titanium braces in his mouth were causing the magic spells to disperse. The team worked on trial and error experiments with it throughout the summer to bring its power to a standardized control for any type of pony to use. Over the summer, they dropped out of their home school, since they already set to jump in the multimillion-bit high life that earth ponies have always dreamed of. They built a tower and distributed titanium hoofbands that would sell and provide telekinetic service to anypony. Anywhere. Throughout the world.

The campaign, named by the ginormous structure, Soapstone Tower, is advertised under the slogan, “Earth by birth; Magic by choice,” with the control hoofband presented on every billboard. Despite the slogan, the bands were compatible with pegasi as well. Every hoofband has a standardized form. No buttons. They are controlled under nothing but the precision of the mind itself, and a double hoof clack to activate them.

Pegasi used magic as a hobby. Earth ponies, on the other hand, everywhere were reconsidering their lives due to their new opportunities that magic withholds. Many ponies in Ponyville, including Bonbon and Berry Punch moved out of their homeland. Sadly, this didn’t have a positive side for the unicorns. Many businesses in Canterlot went bankrupt, and due to the openness of magic now, Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns is forced to shut down. Life as a unicorn is pointless now.

Are Soapy and Kopps going to do anything about it? Of course not. Life is fair now. Mission accomplished.

Karma Strikes: Both Soapy and Kopps don’t realize that such power can slip into the wrong ponies’ hooves. Secretly from the Everfree forest, the a group of power-hungry pegasi outlaws led by the Shadowbolt captain, Dustfire, have planned a raid to take over Equestria by overthrowing Celestia herself. Turns out, they got a hold of these wristbands. So they’re all essentially alicorns now. This portion of the story is a blind eye. No one knows what happens to Celestia. “She’s gone” ends up being the newspaper headline of the millennium.

This so-called “Dustfire Army” then proceeds to their next target, which is inevitable. Soapstone Tower, the center of all magic. (Seriously, what better target could they have picked?) Due to Celestia’s unexplained disappearance, these rebels’ plans had already been spilled. This evening’s forecast is a 90% chance of isolated Dustfire Army raid, followed by a 60% chance of scattered “The-rest-of-the-world Army” raid in the morning, at about the time those newspapers arrive at everypony’s houses. Soapy and Kopps will be up for a surprise.

How to Conclude the story:
Soapy and Kopps, like every smart manufacturer, keep their secret formula top secret between the two of them, secretly. It has never been given to a single soul other than them. They can shut down their lifelong work by demolishing Soapstone Tower. However, as long as they’re alive, the Magic Genome is unlocked. The only way to foil the Dustfire Army’s plan of world domination is to stand in the tower while it collapses.

Can these two earth ponies, who were once discriminant to unicorns, actually go as far as to give up their own lives to them?

(Alternate ending: You can also say that Dustfire is Celestia under a shapeshifting spell to avoid a tragedy story)
>> No. 103852
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103852
>>103821
That sounds like it would be more entertaining as an animation than a fanfic. I suggest you consider writing a script instead, and see if some animators would be willing to comply.
>> No. 103956
>>103852
Now, why didn't I think of that? That's so obvious. Thank you, I was being a silly pony.
>> No. 103982
>>102915
I'm going at it again. I really need help with story ideas here. I also need help with emotion conveying and stringing ideas together. Any takers?
>> No. 104185
has anybody read a Fic where the mane six are humanized, but end up in a time where the earth is in a post-Apocalypse period of time(mad max)?
>> No. 104234
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104234
I thought "Words Failed Her" sounded like a good title, and come up with these two synopses. Does one or the other sound like something people would read? I'm not sure which to follow up on and write...

>When Twilight Sparkle falls behind on her book list, she tries a new spell to double her reading speed. But when the spell backfires, letters and words lose all meaning to her. Suddenly illiterate, she must rely on her friends to help her find the cure, and discovers just how much written language really means to her.

OR

>In a world full of magic, even books can get viruses. When any letter or signpost can infect the unwary, with Manehattan and Canterlot already ravaged by the scourge and Ponyville stating to see cases as well, Twilight Sparkle casts the one spell that can give her time to stop the menace: the Curse of Illiteracy. Now she has to figure out how to save all of Equestria— Without being able to read.

Both similar, but different in scope. (And probably length of the final work, too.)
>> No. 104239
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104239
>>104185

I had an idea once where Equestria discovers Post-Apoc America and do the whole benevolence thing and try to pull shit back together. Of course, in a world where death's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you'll be wary of a bunch of talking horses.

Anyway, Princesses get some unicorns to build a portal to the east coast, where they'll attempt to make peace with what remaining humans are left. The evil that corrupted Luna discretely heads with them as well. For protection, Shining Armor and a healthy amount of guards are sent to establish a camp near some port. Shit hits the fan, Shining Armor gets separated while the guards fight off their attackers (humans, mutants, whichever).

So our boy Shining is dicking around what's left of whichever city they ended up in and trying to survive, all while the evil that corrupted Luna enters the body of a man trying to pull together the remnants of the human race. He starts losing it and flipping his shit massively, and sees the ponies as threats to humanity. As in, invaders coming to a weakened planet to plunder it, with the corruption forcing hallucinations and exaggerations to take place.

To put the rest bluntly, Shining meets this guy who saves him from a near-death experience and soon figure out that the guy who got turned evil is planning on stopping the invasion of America for good. In a sense, he believes he's protecting what's left by using the best damn method possible: nuclear deterrence directly aimed at wherever the portal was.

Then the journey to stop him begins, etc., etc.. Suppose you could figure the rest out from there.
>> No. 104254
I've gotten an idea for a pony story into my head and it seems the only way to get it out is to write it or attempt to do so.

I was inspired by various sources to write a story about ponies on the Titanic, but not just ponified versions of characters from the James Cameron movie, it would be strongly based off the real sequence of events of the voyage and sinking of the real Titanic, if she were built and used by ponies. Currently, its at the metaphorical "doodle-on-a-cocktail-napkin" phase; I'm not even sure if I want to include the Mane 6 or just use OCs yet or exactly what the main characters would be doing.

I've been refreshing my knowledge of the Titanic lately to help think of ideas and to prepare to try and write a fic that gets at least a few of the details of the Titanic right (i.e. the number of funnels as some get this wrong).

What I'm seeking advice on isn't so much the story, I'll try to handle that myself (I'd still greatly appreciate input, though), but pony puns and pony names, pony names by the thousands. The puns will be needed for the various cities and locations that will have to be mentioned in the story (i.e. Southampton, Belfast, Liverpool, etc.) and the names of other ships that will play a part in the story (i.e. SS Californian, RMS Carpathia, etc). Most of the help I'd need would be making up a pony name for every passenger and crew member on Titanic for a list detailing who survived and who didn't to be used as a last chapter. It would be written as though it were published in a newspaper after the sinking to emphasize the loss of life, as real papers did.

I don't expect this to be written for me, I'm just asking for whatever advice that can be provided.

As for posting the names and such that I need ponified, I don't think this thread needs me posting 2,200+ names and whatnot, so I'll have to do something else about that later. I am putting together a spreadsheet of the passengers and crew listing some basic info on them and whether they lived or not, so I could post something to GoogleDocs once I get that put together.
>> No. 104261
File 133819927835.png - (771.51KB , 1965x1935 , 132901282534.png )
104261
Gummy is secretly a badass enigma like the white mice in Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy edition.

Well, it's been a while since I updated, and now I'm done with my goals for the evening (>>/collab/38935). Let's do this.

Whooaaaaaaaaa. A lot of neglected ideas/questions up in here. I count 15 total:

>>99729
>>101848
>>101895
>>102193
>>102915
>>102396
>>102516
>>103207
>>103250
>>103276
>>103637
>>103640
>>103846
>>104234
>>104254

Special thanks to all the people who've been considering and giving insight to fledgling ideas around here. To all you, especially the regulars (you know who you are): you're awesome.
>> No. 104273
>>104261
I'm free, so I'll help trim the list down a bit.

>>99729
This idea already has a response.

>>101848
For Celestia planning Cadence's trip abroad, she could slowly convince her that travelling would be best for her future as an alicorn princess. It would give her leadership qualities, time away from a place that reminds her of her mom, etc. It could take a while, with Cadence mourning her mother's death, but it should eventually work.

>>101895
It would be a comedy, right? I'm guessing it would track the pony phenomenon from start to finish in Victorian society. If I were to write it, the main character would be someone who is having trouble comprehending why grown, upper-class men and women are falling in love with the show. And towards the end, he starts to give in and joins and herd.

>>102193
I'm pretty terrible when it comes to names, but here goes.
Twinklestar -- Name: Midnight Sparkle (It's probably been done before. But she is the annoying younger sister, who is frequently compared to Twilight. Maybe she'll nickname herself "Middy" or something of the like to try and separate herself from Twilight.) Color Scheme: I would mess around with this (http://generalzoi.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Creator-Full-Version-254295904) until you get the color variants that you like.
Mom and Dad -- There's no need for them to have names, I think, because the children will refer to them as 'Mom' and 'Dad' regardless.
Lost City -- (... I'm drawing a blank, sorry)
Old Country -- Homeland works fine, or variations of it. In a way, it shows that the real name has been lost to the ages, so everypony refers to it in a simpler manner. I played through Bastion (Amazing game, by the way), and I don't think the narrator specifically mentioned "Homeland".

I actually had an idea recently to crossover Bastion and FiM. It would follow the characters' journey after the Kid chose the "Evacuation" ending, and the Bastion itself ends up in Equestrian territory. My Foundation crossover idea takes priority over this idea, though, so I'll just leave it to anyone out there for now.
>> No. 104304
>>102915
Sorry that your story has been lying around here for a while. I think most people just ignored it, because they did not want to read through three chapters for the gist.

Anywho, I’ll address this in sections.

General notes — The conversations between the mane 6 are well done. In regards to your writing (ignoring typos and grammar), you should enhance your descriptions of places a little more; make them a bit longer and varied, I would say, but not too long to avoid dragging on.

Prologue — While the mane 6 conversations are believable, there's a little too much of them. It makes it come off as completely friendly and 'slice-of-life-y', contrasting with the sharp turn the prologue takes later. You explained why neither of the unicorns could use magic, but what about Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy? Couldn’t they fly out the window, carrying their friends one by one to safety? I’m sure you can easily address this plot-hole, though, so it isn’t that big of a deal.

Chapter 1 — There were two instances when somepony started crying: when Rarity snapped at Pinkie Pie, and when Twilight felt stressed out. I don’t think Pinkie Pie would start sobbing so easily, even after being yelled at by a friend. Twilight’s crying moment was rather short and unnecessary.

Chapter 2 — Okay, now this is a point where I can imagine the mane 6 crying. I’ve taken a look through your Idea document, and I think their reactions fit to their personalities. As for the first figure, how is he significant in each of their lives if they haven’t met him before? He should just be somepony who introduces them, rather than acts as one of the figures each of them will meet.

Thoughts — The idea of the mane 6 going through a form of purgatory has promise. Still, maybe they should not be together as a group until the final figure. Before they met in Ponyville, they were living different lives in different locations, so it wouldn’t make sense that their lives were all impacted by the same ponies. It would be a depressing (not to mention controversial) ending if the mane 6 died for good. Still, it would be a bad idea to have a plot device where they 'do the impossible' and leave the Summerlands. If you could find a middle-ground of some sort, it may work better.
>> No. 104309
>>104304

>General notes — The conversations between the mane 6 are well done. In regards to your writing (ignoring typos and grammar), you should enhance your descriptions of places a little more; make them a bit longer and varied, I would say, but not too long to avoid dragging on.

>Prologue — While the mane 6 conversations are believable, there's a little too much of them. It makes it come off as completely friendly and 'slice-of-life-y', contrasting with the sharp turn the prologue takes later. You explained why neither of the unicorns could use magic, but what about Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy? Couldn’t they fly out the window, carrying their friends one by one to safety? I’m sure you can easily address this plot-hole, though, so it isn’t that big of a deal.

Ah, yes... The old "Can't you just fly them out?" plot-hole. Frankly, I just want to imply that in their state of panic, they just didn't think of that idea. If it's still too unbelievable, could I just make the window too small?

As far as the "slice-of-life-y" feel, that's precisely the effect I want to have. I liken it to comparing black and white as opposed to black and... say... dark grey. Even though the black is the same, it sticks out more in the white. Did this analogy make any sense?

>Chapter 1 — There were two instances when somepony started crying: when Rarity snapped at Pinkie Pie, and when Twilight felt stressed out. I don’t think Pinkie Pie would start sobbing so easily, even after being yelled at by a friend. Twilight’s crying moment was rather short and unnecessary.

I'll get rid of those...

>Chapter 2 — Okay, now this is a point where I can imagine the mane 6 crying. I’ve taken a look through your Idea document, and I think their reactions fit to their personalities. As for the first figure, how is he significant in each of their lives if they haven’t met him before? He should just be somepony who introduces them, rather than acts as one of the figures each of them will meet.

>Thoughts — The idea of the mane 6 going through a form of purgatory has promise. Still, maybe they should not be together as a group until the final figure. Before they met in Ponyville, they were living different lives in different locations, so it wouldn’t make sense that their lives were all impacted by the same ponies. It would be a depressing (not to mention controversial) ending if the mane 6 died for good. Still, it would be a bad idea to have a plot device where they 'do the impossible' and leave the Summerlands. If you could find a middle-ground of some sort, it may work better.

I still want the Wonderbolt's founder as one of the lesson givers. As to how he impacted Rainbow's life, he served in a war with her grandfather, and they both saved each other's lives (the grandfather takes a crossbolt for the pony, who in turn gets him to a hospital before he bleeds out).

As far as "introducing" them, I want it to be their first lesson giver and not some separate pony entirely.

I have thought of doing something like having them be alone, but I am not a big fan of breaking the fellowship, so to speak. If there was some way I could incorporate this idea of one-on-one discussion, but still have the six of them interact with each other, I would do it.

As far as your concerns of having them die for good: Yes, they will die for good. That's kinda the reason why I wanted to burn the bodies.

One more question. Did you read the book this was based off of?

Thanks!

p0n00b
>> No. 104313
File 133823620064.jpg - (226.71KB , 819x655 , 93241 - artist-arnachy fancypants fleur_de_lis like_a_pimp.jpg )
104313
Ight, so I got this smidgen of an idea involving the most swag-filled pony and his girl.

Fancypants, a high-ranking and well-paid bureaucrat in Canterlot, enjoys the finer things in life. But as time progresses and a new generation of bureaucrats inch their way into the game, he begins to realize he's severely losing the edge that made him successful in the first place. More and more often, he becomes disrespected and metaphorically stepped upon, leaving him in the dust while the younger bureaucrats are working their way up the ladder.

Soon, he enters a mid-life crisis, despite being rich and having a trophy girlfriend, that forces him to do the one thing he'd been avoiding for nearly two decades: return to his roots. He's granted administrative leave for one week, where he's decided to travel back to the city of Manehattan to rediscover the flair and pride he once carried. Fleur de Lis, his gal, sneaks onto his carriage despite his warnings that the part of the city he was visiting was fairly unsafe for the higher-class aristocrats.

Fancypants discovers the stowaway after arriving in Manehattan and paying the carriage operators, at which point he's already stuck with her in the city. He decides to leave her at a hotel while he heads back to his old neighborhood in downtown Manehattan, a seedy series of brownstones where crime and drug abuse is waiting on every corner. Of course, Fleur once again follows, this time in a shoddy disguise involving a long coat, hat, and sunglasses.

He then meets what's remaining of his old group of friends, who've each taken to their environment and adapted well enough to remain out of jail, or worse. His arrivals comes as a shock and they invite him to a party at a club nearby where the entirety of his acquaintances and others will be. The upper-class demeanor, language and clothes make him stand out significantly, to the point where nopony recognizes him right off the bat. The guy heads back to the hotel to spend the rest of the afternoon with Fleur.

That night, Fancypants goes to the club with Fleur following incognito. He meets other friends he knew years ago along with old enemies and individuals who don't take kindly to him coming back after so long and changing so much. One thing leads to another and Fleur is eventually caught, with nearly every stallion trying to flirt with her.

A specific stallion that used to push around Fancypants as a foal attempts to get a bit too close, setting off Fancypants and rekindling the inner gangster within him that was dormant for well over a decade. So FP clocks his dumbass self, catching everyone (especially Fleur) by surprise. And so, our hero finds that he hasn't changed so much after all, and uses his single week to relearn all the lessons that the tough streets of Manehattan had taught him as a young stallion.

Eh, concept is a bit shaky, but Notorious never failed me before. Anyway, I'd like an opinion of the idea, if possible. Story is meant to be comedic, but grim at times as he sees how corrupted and the amount of disrepair his old neighborhood is in. Where the title came from should be pretty obvious in itself.
>> No. 104334
>>104309
To solve the plot-hole, why not make it so that their hotel room window catches fire from the level below them, cutting off the only air escape route. And no, I haven't read the story it's based upon. I may read it eventually, if I can find a copy, but we'll see.

And... back to addressing other neglected story ideas.

>>102396
Sounds a little too hectic and disorganized for my tastes. I can imagine that the multitude of evil forces will clash with each other, creating internal conflicts on all sides.

>>102516
Even with the context of your idea, your list is a little garbled. I'm not entirely sure what your ideas are.

>>103207
How large would it be? Hoof-sized? Pony-sized? Building-sized? The ridiculousness factor obviously increases with the size. If it's only hoof-sized, then I guess Lyra would use it enough to get on everypony's nerves. The force an momentum of a large one, though, would do a lot more than just annoy the townsfolk.
(Also, thanks for showing me that site. I now have it bookmarked.)

>>103250
I'm not taking up the idea, but I'm expanding it. While she is emotionally conflicted, Rainbow Dash would be visited by the other mane 6 characters, who each attempt to coax her into letting go of Fluttershy (or whoever is in Fluttershy's place). There isn't much else to do (that I can think of), because Rainbow Dash would be completely bed-ridden and unable to go outside.

>>103276
So... an alternate take on Sonic Rainboom? Technically, Dash already knew how to pull off a sonic rainboom. Her paranoia about the competition is what really caused her to fail each attempt. But I guess in this alternate take, she'll use it as an excuse to get closer to Twilight.
Basic Ideas:
- Rainbow Dash messes up her routines even more with Twilight around, since she's afraid of her judgment. This leads Twilight to enact harsher "punishments" for Rainbow.
- Twilight is completely oblivious to Rainbow Dash's subtle advances, even towards the end when Rainbow has won.
- Twilight gives friendly advice, right before the young flier's competition, that removes all of Rainbow Dash's paranoia and gives her the courage to pull it off.
>> No. 104363
A fanfic about the main characters' pets. The six are out on a vacation yet bringing their pets with them (it will be a long one, and don't want them to be lonely). Suddenly, however, there's unrest in a nearby city, and the six are tasked by the Princesses to mediate and use their powers of friendship.

They leave their animals in the care of a local kennel, yet the kennel owner is indebted to a crimelord. When the boss comes to collect his money and the owner can't pay, they let all the animals loose and set fire to the kennel.

A homeward-bound-style adventure back to Ponyville ensues.
>> No. 104370
>>104363
The crime lord angle is too forced. Perhaps have the owner be a salt-licker and set the place on fire in a sodium-induced stupor? Or the pets could just here from the other animals that no one ever leaves; it's the sort of kennel where masters leave their animals and never come back. That's what drove the plot in Homeward Bound, I believe.
>> No. 104379
>>104370
It could be anything, really, but I like your idea; simpler is better in this case. The goal is just to get the underway , with lots of ground to cover.
>> No. 104383
File 133827320362.jpg - (56.04KB , 900x506 , deus pony.jpg )
104383
While bored I decided to replay one of my favorite single player fps games Dues Ex Human Revolution, which got me to thinking if anyone had actually done a crossover with it. It seems so obvious, but my google searches come up with nothing. My skills (or lack there of) would probably keep me from writing a fully realized story, but I'm more interested to know if the idea was already taken. If it has been done well please direct me to it so i may have something to read now that schools out :P
>> No. 104385
File 133827385589.png - (1.06MB , 847x943 , deus_ex__pony_revolution_by_br0ny-d48xuc1.png )
104385
>>104383
I'm afraid it doesn't seem to be updating anymore, and it's only three chapters long, but five seconds with Google turned this up: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/04/story-deus-ex-equine-revolution.html
>> No. 104403
File 133830525304.jpg - (5.81KB , 227x213 , sad pony.jpg )
104403
Why he stop writing?! Gah! I haven't been this sad someone stopped writing since Teardrops and Snowflakes. Why does every story I like get canceled (FOE not included)?
>> No. 104404
File 133830565288.png - (292.66KB , 863x650 , salesman.png )
104404
>>104403
You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

>Sage
>> No. 104632
So I had an idea for a fic.

The basic story is that Apple Bloom is sick of waiting for her cutie mark. She tries everything she hasn't thought of before, but no can do. She goes to Zecora to ask her, again, if she can't help her with her cutie mark, and the zebra lets it slip that there might just be another of her "colleagues", some sort of druid, who might help her. However, she advises Apple Bloom not to seek him out, for he is a treacherous compulsive liar and known loan shark. Apple Bloom can't resist and goes to meet with the shady character that is Tartarin, who offers her to win her cutie mark if she accepts to leave her current life forever, starting over a new life in a new town. Not thinking clearly at the thought of winning her cutie mark, Apple Bloom gladly signs the contract, which coincidentally stipulates, although she doesn't bother listening, the price of the operation, which is insanely expensive - so expensive that a lifetime of working won't pay it back, even if she has to be able to pay off the mortgage within a week, lest she has to pay with her own soul. In a terrifying spell-casting scene, she painfully finally gets her mark - a clock.

Tartarin then shows her the way to a new town, Stallionholm, a cold place still ruled over by the Windigos. She has to work a miserable job selling matchsticks to survive, and as the deadline draws nearer, she finds no other way to survive than by going back to Ponyville. Only half a day before Tartarin comes to get her, she finds out all of Ponyville was worried sick about her disappearance, especially Applejack, who had actually gotten ill over it (this is already shown during the time she's in Stallionholm.). Applejack is glad to find her back and shocked to find her with a cutie mark. Applebloom tells her the whole story and they run to Zecora, who wants to stick near Applebloom to protect her when Tartarin comes. The moment she's left alone with the filly, though, she reveals herself to actually BE Tartarin, and that Zecora is just bound and gagged in her own home. He turns Applebloom into a tree, and he quickly puts everyone into their place, especially when it turns out Twilight's magic is no match for him. Ponyville is pretty much under his foot until Celestia shows up. She finds out what he's done with Apple Bloom, realizes his contract is genuine, and she signs the contract, saving Apple Bloom and turning into a tree herself. He rejoices, quickly puts on her tiara and gains all of her powers. Massive showdown and Tartarin ends up either having his own powers turn on him at the end and drag him to hell, or he gets a particularly gruesome end. I'm not sure. Once he's dead, everyone he's ever lied to and misled turns back into ponies. Happy end, except AB doesn't get to keep the mark.

I'm not too sure about the plotline. Tartarin's character sounds awfully similar to Ursula from the Little Mermaid, even if the idea I had for him is sor t of a loan shark drug dealer type.
>> No. 104672
>>104632
>Massive showdown and Tartarin ends up either having his own powers turn on him at the end and drag him to hell, or he gets a particularly gruesome end.

Kinda sounds like
>>97121">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTqHbiE0vl8>>97121
>> No. 104742
I need advice on a very specific problem I am running into with my story.

I am trying to write a crossover between Homestuck and MLP which has occured AFTER any Homestuck shenanigans. The problem is, I need to know the reader knows certain things to understand later things, but I can't seem to get them explained without shoehorning them in.

An example would be the Ultimate Reward - the fact that in-story the Ultimate Reward is not what they expected is the major plot point with one other thing; but without an intricate knowledge of Homestuck you wouldn't understand why it is the 'Ultimate Reward'

Does anyone have any ideas how to get the information in? I'm rewriting the story completely, so I can take any suggestion.
>> No. 104762
>>103637
I've never seen Dresden Files before, so I'm just basing this off of what I read off of Wikipedia.
There are several problems I'm already picking up with the idea. First off: Why would Discord want to teleport the mane 6 and the Dresden team just so that they can play a video game? Knowing Discord, that really wouldn't be enough to satisfy his lust for chaos; he isn't some less murderous, more geeky version of the killer from Saw. Secondly: The whole situation reeks of pointlessly slamming three universes together. Putting two universes together is fine, as shown in countless crossover fanfictions, but using three is overdoing it.

Perhaps an analogy will help prove my point.
Let's say I wanted to write a crossover fanfiction of FiM, Ender's Game, and Halo. My idea is that the mane 6 are led under the command of Ender, the greatest general in human history, in a video game resembling Halo. Sounds a little weird, right? Why would ponies be forced to play an FPS with Ender in command? Any explanation for it sounds like a ludicrous plot device. To me, the concept would sound a lot better if the parts from Halo are removed. So now we have something like: Ender, the greatest general in human history, is led into circumstances where he will have to command the mane 6 and the pony armies to ensure Equestria’s survival. There! Now that's a crossover fanfiction I would read (if it's fleshed out a little more).

Basically, what I'm saying is that maybe you should remove the part about DoTA, and instead focus on the MLP and Dresden Files universes. Those universes are where the story characters are coming from. You may think badly about such a maneuver now, but who knows; it could give you a better idea and a smoother sequence of events.

>>103640
Hoofbox360, Horseshoe360, Ycolt9000, Xmare360...
Like I've stated before, I'm not very good with names. But as long as there is a pun in it, it could work. (I don’t mind blatant puns sometimes.)

>>103846
I like the idea that earth ponies discover a way to wield magic. There are some things that I would like to address, though.
> Life as a unicorn is pointless now

You have to keep in mind that unicorns have been controlling magic for generations. Even if earth ponies mass-produced bands, would they really be able to out-do unicorns, the ponies that’s worked with magic for so long? If anything, they would not be pros at it. And giving them instant expertise would make the earth ponies too god-like.

>However, as long as they’re alive, the Magic Genome is unlocked.

But they mass-produced the magic hoofbands. Even if Soapstone Tower is destroyed, the technology is still out there and up for grabs across the world. Is reverse-engineering out of the question? The two earth ponies can’t say “Problem Solved” so easily. Granted, maybe all the hoofbands are tied to the tower; and if the central hub is destroyed, then all the bands will cease functioning. The main characters don't seem like the type to include such a failsafe, though. Imagine if Nissan's headquarters suffered a blackout, and their newest cars stopped working as a result. If that really did happen, the obvious question from everyone would be: Why on earth did Nissan include such a silly feature?

>You can also say that Dustfire is Celestia under a shapeshifting spell to avoid a tragedy story

Would Celestia really go through the hassle of posing as a criminal and mysteriously vanishing when she’s needed? This plan doesn’t sound like it would be on the top of her list of solutions. It would be a plot-twist that only serves to confuse the reader rather than surprise them.

>>104234
I've noticed that you've already posted the story for review in a different thread. Still, I do like the first synopsis, and can’t really find a fault with it.

>>104254
2,200+ names!? I think I would start banging my head against a wall after the first hundred. If you do go through with it, you will likely be putting a lot more effort into coming up with decent full names than anything else about the story. It would not be a big deal if you chose to skip that minor step. There are aspects in writing that require more attention than a long, boring list that most readers will probably skim through in the end.
>> No. 104776
File 133850868842.png - (280.34KB , 708x900 , 123807 - artist alinajames dirk_strider doll homestuck rainbow_dash.png )
104776
>>104742
Presuming that this is a "cast of X meets cast of Y" type of crossover, it's easiest to take advantage of one fact: the Mane 6 have no idea what any of this stuff from the Homestuck universe is. Use the ponies as a barometer. Most of them (Twilight excluded) might not question certain elements at all. If the ponies are willing to just roll with it, then don't bore your readers. Sometimes, they might be okay with a one-sentence explanation; go with that. On occasion (Ultimate Reward, perhaps), it will be too important to gloss over. In those situations, permit Twilight to slam on the breaks and demand a full explanation.

So who delivers the explanation? Not the narrator! That's boring. You've got (depending on who's alive or dead or dreaming or a ghost or in the midst of time-shenanigans) something like twenty members of the Homestuck cast who could explain stuff to the MLP cast. Given the wide number of options here, you can pick your explainer based on the topic and context. Is something really not important, and you want to brush it off until later? Dave. Important to cover the gist of the issue quickly? Karkat. Requires a full, detailed breakdown? Rose. Maybe you want to screw with the readers and/or the ponies, and give them something cryptic and useless? Gamzee. You get the idea.
>> No. 105118
File 133869283836.png - (62.57KB , 440x274 , 1.png )
105118
Hello,

I'm brand new to the scene of Fanfics and I came here because I need help with a story I wanted to tell. The title is "Rule 43: You WILL Love Me". Long story short, the basic plot is that a weakened lilin somehow arrives in Ponyville. Fluttershy finds it and takes care of it, while at the same time it slowly turns her into a succubus. She starts going after guys and gathering a harem as her Yandere/Yangire nature is explored. Eventually, Fluttershy kidnaps Twilight which eventually leads to the climax where Fluttershy confronts the source of her transformation. And so in the end, everyone learns the real meaning love and so forth.

Yes, it does sound like "Blood Is Thicker Than Friendship" and maybe others, but in this case it's Fluttershy that's being the, uh, creature.

I'm pretty good when it comes to big picture stuff and linking scenes, but I'm lousy when it comes to character interactions and spooky writing. I was wondering if anybody here wanted to collaborate on this idea. Send me an email to let me know what you think.

BTW, this thread is getting kinda long. Time to start a new one?
>> No. 105120
File 133869398961.jpg - (11.90KB , 240x210 , Sensational.jpg )
105120
While procrastinating on a review, I came up with this little idea I'm interested in seeing through (sh#t rhymed dog). Basic pitch is that Sapphire Shores returns to Rarity's boutique to thank her for the most comfortable, fashionable stage wear she's every had. While there, she overhears Sweetie Belle singing, and decides her voice is SENSATIONAL. Logically, she offers Sweetie a recording deal. Sweetie accepts, and moves to Canterlot to learn the art of being a pop starlet, with all the ups and downs it brings. Now I have to go back to pointing out comma errors every two words, but please, tell me what you think.
>> No. 105125
>>105120
I kind of like this, but what you trying to do? Like, if I read this what am I suppose to get other than a one-filly Archies?

Also, why are you pointing out every comma? Are you getting paid or something?
>> No. 105132
File 133869645515.jpg - (5.64KB , 231x218 , Sweetie Shrug.jpg )
105132
>>105125
I'm thinking about taking it a whole number a directions, but am undecided about any at the moment. I have the idea for the beginning, and the end, but not the middle which could go a whole host of ways. An example would be how celebrities often date each other not out of love but for publicity. Sweetie would be dating another pop star, and that could go any number of ways. Bradgelina sucess story, or Chris Brown. Its still
in development.

To answer your other question, no I'm not getting paid, but I am trying to point out errors in hopes that the writers future projects won't end up as bad. A foolish goal? Maybe, but it is one I shall pursue.

PS. What does one filly Archies mean
>> No. 105134
>>105132
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9nE2spOw_o

And what I meant is what is the end, because I could suggest she goes into adventures with a talking dog, but that wouldn't really make sense unless we get a context of what you want.
>> No. 105137
File 133869699243.png - (251.37KB , 800x871 , i_like_her_mane_by_johnjoseco-d4fce0s.png )
105137
>>105132
Maybe her boss tells her to date with someone she hates, just for money or because that's how he roll Someone from her past or someone who constantly insults her.
>> No. 105138
>>105134
What I think the ending would be, is Sweetie gives up the lifestyle due to the stresses at which point Sapphire opens up a new recording studio in Ponyville, and decides to do her best to keep the pressures of a stars life away from Sweetie, while allowing her to make music.

There ya go. If you think its sh#t, well then its a good thing I haven't started writing
>> No. 105140
File 133869763949.png - (22.74KB , 132x150 , derpy_happy_by_spaceponies-d3lft6n.png )
105140
>>105138
I don't think is "sh*t" but, I think is too "nice" I mean, if you want to get to that ending, the relationship between Sapphire and Sweetie must be like a mother-filly relation. Sapphire must see Sweetie as her daughter.
>> No. 105146
File 133869861874.jpg - (7.29KB , 300x168 , Sweetie smile.jpg )
105146
>>105140
Well I'll try and work the ending a little better. Or maybe I'll go with the mother/daughter bundle. Sweetie is still young and impreshanable (failed spelling Woohoo), and Sapphire isn't really developed in the show, so I can see that working as well.
>> No. 105157
>>105146
You could turn the story on its head...

Sapphire brings Sweetie to the big city, plies her with all the posh lifestyle that Saphire herself adores. But Sweetie's inherent modesty and childlike simplicity makes Saphire start questioning the worth of all the flash and glam. She starts remembering her own humble beginnings, wondering where she went wrong. In the end, Saphire becomes much more down-to-earth, and they both agree that Sweetie needs to enjoy her youth—in the way the pop star never got to. Sweetie returns to Ponyville... And every now and then, Saphire stops by to play.

<sappy after-school special hugtime>
>> No. 105161
File 133870465047.jpg - (710.60KB , 612x792 , Derpy escudo.jpg )
105161
>>105157
Yeah. but then, the fanfic will be all about Sapphire story.
>> No. 105171
File 133871111014.jpg - (116.37KB , 900x1035 , fluttershy_mononoke_by_hereticofdune-d50iuo2.jpg )
105171
Oh yeah it's the weekend again edition. Have some Mononokeshy. And the list of ideas/inquiries w/o responses. Which is pretty small, but still, I'm mainly doing this as a placeholder, so I know which parts of the thread I've covered. If you want more feedback, just ask.

>>104313 >>104632 >>105118

List
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AuAQzDU7RlujdEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc#gid=0
Form
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEdHTFoyR2Z4cG1DWXl2aE1FajJGRWc6MQ&ifq
>> No. 105194
File 133873971392.png - (33.37KB , 200x200 , mlfw723_1314683940652079[1].png )
105194
Tommy is a brony who magically arrives in the land of Equestria, and meets the Mane 6. (WAIT! Don't leave yet!) As he asks about the world he's arrived in, he's delighted to learn that all his canon knowledge is true, as is a fair bit of fanon. Alone with AJ, he teases the cowpony, asking if there's any truth to AppleDash, which elicits a bright red blush. See, turns out, AJ has been trying to flirt with Rainbow, but the latter pony's reactions are always dense or evasive. Indeed, there turns out to be a fair amount of unrequited love in Ponyville. Given Tommy's freaky knowledge of their universe (he knows us better than we know ourselves!) and his... unhealthy interest in shipping, he is recruited by AJ and others to help with matchmaking them. Hijinks ensue as some ships sail, as others sink, and as Tommy makes some faux pas by relying too heavily on fanon.

If it's not clear from the premise and title, this RomCom isn't supposed to take itself that seriously. It's going more the route of goofy fanon humor, and some lighthearted jabs at the shipping community, thus the BiE inclusion. Of course, execution would be everything, because this setup could easily devolve into "hay RD, u shud bang AJ it'd make u 20 percen cooler hyuk hyuk". To counteract that a bit, my thought would be to treat Tommy more like a secondary "wise sage" character. At the start of the chapter, Twi asks for advice in how to get with her teacher, Tommy gives "good advice" offscreen, and the rest of the chapter follows Twilight acting on that advice, with Tommy occasionally popping into the scene as he tries to help set the mood.
>> No. 105205
File 133874618705.png - (217.76KB , 830x467 , 830px-Rarity_happy_S02E05.png )
105205
>>105194
So... If Tommy was "magically" transported to Equestria, can I say that Celestia did that with the sole purpose of making Ponyville a land for shipping?
>> No. 105214
File 133874917250.jpg - (87.46KB , 640x777 , mlfw971_1318817391452[1].jpg )
105214
>>105205
Hmm. I'd initially been thinking of just lampshading Tommy's arrival as intentionally-cliche, but having somepony willfully summon him is an interesting spin. Especially if the summoner also wants help for herself. The summoner could be Twilight or any of the alicorns... Cadance would fit, being love themed and all, though naturally she wouldn't need shipping assistance for herself.

The more I think about my idea as a whole, though, the more I realize I need to avoid retreading familiar ground, notably http://www.fimfiction.net/story/16028/Shipping-and-Handling At least with in that regard, I was thinking of elements like more disastrous/awkward failure of ships, and more metahumor/jabs at the community. Different enough?
>> No. 105219
File 133875076622.png - (75.19KB , 269x269 , 4.png )
105219
>>105214
And at the end of the story, Tommy is pursued by a mob of mad and sexually-confused ponies. Seems like a nice plot for a Fanfic
>> No. 105222
This is a shot in the dark, and sadly, I do have an alicorn in it. Of course, the fact that this bozo is an alicorn is integral to several parts of the plot.

This is a story set four thousand years ago. It has several plots revolving around
1. The invasion of the pony universe by star-ponies, which killed off most of the alicorns.
2. A band of sellswords wandering around the pony world trying to earn a living.
3. All of these sellswords have their own personal crap going on. The group is composed of a griffin, minotaur, windigo, dragon, and an alicorn.
4. In the end, the star-ponies are repelled and the elements of harmony are made in order to combat anything that normal ponies can't handle.

What do yu guys think?
>> No. 105223
File 133875156462.png - (303.58KB , 830x467 , 830px-Rarity_winks_S2E9-W9.png )
105223
>>105222
So, your story is like an explanation of how the elements were created? Also, why did the starponies attacked? Where they come from? Why I love KFC so much? Answer these questions and maybe more, and you'll be ready to star e.e
>> No. 105226
>>105223
The star-ponies are commanded by an entity known as the Star-king. Basically a sort of cousin to Discord and all the other god-like beings. They couldn't get to the pony world because the moon and sun act as wards that repel them. The alicorns' task is to keep the moon and sun moving through the sky so the star-ponies don't invade.

Of course, they grow vain and tyrannical to the rest of the pony world, thus growing lax in their duty. One day, they don't bring the moon up fast enough and the star ponies invade, destroying the alicorn capital. Basically, almost all the alicorns are killed because of this, though there are a few survivors. The moon comes up eventually, so they have to get out of the pony world. However, with the sun and moon out of whack, they're free to destroy everything when the sun and moon are gone from the sky. This is important because the big invasion comes when the moon and sun finally stand still. Of course, they get booted out and the elements are made so anything threatening to the pony world can be stopped.

The surviving alicorns settle into other cities and act like major douchebags. A revolution overthrows them, but they start the royal family by adopting the daughters of the aformentioned sellsword alicorn after he goes on a bit of a rampage.

The fact that the sellsword alicorn is a star-pony hybrid conceived while his mom was raped by a star-pony is important to the storyline. Because of his dual heritage, he has the unfortunate tendancy to turn into a star-pony when he feels angry or sad. This explains why nightmare moon transformed from Luna.

The grifin is also important because she is one of the griffin princesses; and in order to gain the throne she must kill all her sisters. She joins the sellsword band for experience.

The minotaur is a former general in the labyrinthian army, but gets kicked out when a hellhound pack comes out of Tartarus and destroys half the city. In my story, the capital city of the minotaurs is the Labyrinth, which also houses the gate to Tartarus, which should always be guarded. He goes to the East, and learns how to use inner power (chi) before joining up with the sellsword band. The minotaur is important because the group actually goes to the gates of Tartarus, and they learn why the star-ponies are destroying the world.

The windigo is a filly, who joins the group because every other pony in her town kicks her out. She also has a bunny called Angel at her side, but later on it's revealed that Angel is actually Death, another cousin of Discord and the Star-king.

The dragon is a former slave to the alicorns, and goes with them after the revolution. She's important because she becomes an ambassador who stops the dragons from taking over the lands of other species when they become dispossessed by the star-ponies.

They are supposed to be from different races because their blood allows others of that race to use the elements of harmony. Also, they becaome the bearers of the elements of harmony.

Now, you're probably asking how normal ponies could use the elements of harmony. This is because the alicorn mates with two ponies- one's a unicorn while the other is an alicorn. The unicorn has a unicorn offspring, thus intermingling his blood within the pony races. The alicorn is the mother to the Princesses, thus their ability to use the elements.
>> No. 105227
File 133875491939.jpg - (25.53KB , 500x330 , 90d.jpg )
105227
>>105226

>Reads "conceived while his mom was raped by a star-pony"

Oh... I'm okay with this

>"She also has a bunny called Angel at her side, but later on it's revealed that Angel is actually Death, another cousin of Discord and the Star-king."

Are you saying that Angel is some sort of immortal demon? Oh, well, you may be right.

I thought the windigos were like ghosts or something like that. I guess I'm wrong

Ok, you have the plot and you answered my questions, so, you may want to start writing!
>> No. 105228
>>105227
In this story, windigos are more like cousins to normal ponies. They live in the far north, and control the winter storms. The stories of Windigos being monsters comes from the fact that only the real bad apples come south and ruin stuff.
>> No. 105233
My idea for a fic:

The yet unnamed protagonist OC arrives back to Equestria, his homeland, after spending some time in foreign nation. Upon arriving there by train, he cannot help himself but to compare the government of Equestria to governments of other nations. Compared to other, more liberal and Democratic countries that neighbor Equestria, its Royal government does not please the protagonist. He realizes, that in this country run by a monarch, certain people receive more privileges than others. The fact that the current ministries and administrative persons (I might have to design some kind of a government model for this) act lousily and unprofessionally in his opinion. He then decides that change is in order and decides to from a political movement and overthrow the current regime, in one way or another. To do this, he needs certain things: money and like-minded followers primarily. So this would be the basic starting plot and this fic would be about him trying to do all these things. Now certain questions rise:

Would this, politically themed fic, be boring to the potential reader? How could I make it more interesting?

Could I drag the mane 6 into this, and what would their role be?

How to make this as correct politicaly as possible?
>> No. 105240
File 133876290897.png - (244.91KB , 542x573 , 9758_-_caption_pinkamena_diane_pie_pinkie_pie_reaction.png )
105240
>>105233
If you change "Equestria" for the name of any country in the world, nothing changes. So, yeah, it would be a boring fic about politics. Unless, you make it sound fun or interesting and I can't think in how you can achieve that goal
>> No. 105241
File 133876332546.gif - (1.48MB , 750x422 , Snoring Dash.gif )
105241
>>105233

To be honest, a story like that...well, you'd have to work your ass off to make it interesting. Maybe make it less of a Political Movement and more an all out Rebellion? Portray your character as rather antagonistic and have him start a movement against the monarchy that very quickly escalates. But then again, that might take away from your message...it's a tough call, really, because political stories, as informative and realistic as they can be, also tend to just drag on and on...
>> No. 105244
>>105240

Yeah, perhaps people are too dumb to understand anything not related to shipping and mindless and generally dumb action scenes. I was just trying to bring mature overtones and generally represent something new to this scene, but I suppose I should not do anything now.

And hey, whats not to like in coup d'etat?
>> No. 105248
>>105244
You'd have to be unnaturally skilled to pull it off. I suggest looking at Administration is Magic as a case study, which makes the politics take the backseat to character development, yet still has a heady overtone.

>>105241
Pretty much this.
>> No. 105254
File 133876744550.png - (153.12KB , 900x885 , rarity_as_sherlock_holmes_by_speedingturtle-d49vw9y.png )
105254
Guys, I need an idea for my fic. Please, tell me what crime would you commit and why. I'm looking for the most interesting/stupid/horrible/weird reason to commit a crime like robbery, murder, etc. I'll upload a cookie to Megaupload if you help me with this!
>> No. 105256
I'm a new brony, and a writer, I was thinking for a while as to the reason Derpy's voice and physical appearence changed, I did hear about what happened, but I think I have at least a 20% cooler reason as to why it happened:

Derpy Hooves was kidnapped and replaced by a changeling pony after she helped Rainbow Dash set up for Apple Jack's send off to the Equestria Rodeo in Canterlot. And mysteriously, the day was rewound to the point of Changeling Derpy helping Rainbow Dash instead, this will remain a mystery until sometime in the middle The first one to notice the change is Pinkie pie of course, however once she finds out and tells her friends, they discover that they were too late, as more changelings replace other ponies to the point where it seems that Twilight and her friends are the only ponies Left in Equestria. They flee to the Evergreen woods in search of Zecora, seeing as to how remote she is, there is a possibility that she has not been switched. Fortunately they were right, Zecora mentions that she had felt a different aura over Ponyville. Zecora quickly brews up a potion so that the ponies may distinguish the difference between pony and changeling in order to save the remaining ponies. They find and rescue; Vinyl Scratch, Big Macintosh, the Cutie Crusaders, the "Great and powerful" Trixie, and Spike. Finally fleeing from Ponyville, the group is forced to make the woods their new home for the time being as they figure out when and how this started as well as how to save everypony from the Changelings' clutches.


I have more to this story, but sadly I don't know everyponies' personality enough to make it seem legit.
>> No. 105258
>>105254

Pinkie Pie rebels against a global ban on partying (inspired by the famous song by the Beastie Boys)

I have yet to come up with a reason why the global ban was set in, but this was an idea I had long ago. With the idea given, it could be woven in to a long one-shot, or a short, multi-chapter story.

Not sure if that helped you much, but the idea is all there!
>> No. 105260
File 133876883352.png - (163.21KB , 830x466 , 830px-Rainbow_Dash_super_cute_smile_S2E14-W14.png )
105260
>>105258
Is not exactly what I wanted, dude. I didn't explained it clearly. It must be a crime for a "Sherlock Holmes" crossover.
>> No. 105261
>>105260

Oh, well in that case, I got nuthin' :/
>> No. 105279
File 133878021770.gif - (797.57KB , 268x268 , Pinkie Laughing.gif )
105279
So I had an idea for a one-shot random comedy fic in which Pinkie, bored, goes "Fic-Hopping"...basically, jumps through the 4th wall and goes to visit some fan fictions and see what's happening there. Of course, the gimmick being that everywhere she goes, she completely screws up the plot/mood.

My original intention was to have her visit real fics, but I'm scrapping that in favor of generic fics that represent a lot of genres. The current list is:

-A sad story featuring Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash having an emotional conversation (Pinkie sits in the corner, loudly eating popcorn and commentating the whole thing, ruining the mood)
-A mystery/adventure fantasy story (As soon as she arrives, she meets up with the main character and tells them exactly where the MacGuffin they need to find is, thus negating the entire point of the adventure.
-A clopfic (before anything actually saucy can happen, Pinkie dives in between the two characters and tries to break it up, screaming that "That's filthy, you two! There could be kids watching!")
-A Cupcakes-esque grimdark story (she reveals that at the end, it's all a dream, so she happily tells the victim "Oh, don't worry, you'll be awake soon! Oh, but, uh..it's not gonna be very pleasant until then. Sorry!)"
-A Daring-Do fanfic (she spends the whole time marveling at the meta-ness of having a fanfic written about a fictional story within a fictional world on a tv show)

I'm looking for a few other generic story templates that I can use for this story, and subsequently have Pinkie Pie completely and hilariously ruin the mood of. Anyone have any suggestions? I want, like, 2-3 more scenes in the story.
>> No. 105295
>>105118

Okay. Just to make it a little more original, we've decided that Fluttershy will just be possessed by the weaker Lilin. or something like that
>> No. 105317
So, I've written a bunch of one-shots and short stories, plus one open-ended serial, and I want to try tackling an actual novel-length story. What I want to do is, to paraphrase a description of 2001: a Space Odyssey, "the proverbial good bronies-in-Equestria story." The operative word, or operative letter, being bronieS. That is to say, all the bronies go to Equestria. That's the first part.

The second part is them settling in and integrating to life there, an also what's happening on Earth to those left behind. The third part is the conflict between the two groups. So far I have a basic outline and a draft of the first two chapters. Now I need advice.

There are three ways I can handle each of the two sides, the bronies and the non-bronies:

-With a single protagonist/antagonist, and perhaps a sidekick.
-With an ensemble, akin to the Mane 6
-In broad strokes, with anecdotes that typify each plot point.

So far, I've used the ensemble method for the bronies, and the broad strokes method for the non-bronies. I think I have some good copy for the brony ensemble, BUT I'd I write to the length I'm thinking of, this would be a 75k-85k-word story. Question one: can I sustain an ensemble cast of new characters and make them interesting over that length? If not, is it better to toss out some characters and make one solid protagonist? Or should I expand my scope and try for a longer story?

The second chapter I'm less happy with. I've only got 4 characters who have names, and lots of "the man," "the older scientist," "the drunk," etc. The first third of the chapter is taken up with a tv news report on the brony phenomenon. (I don't think I'm telling people what they already know; I'm setting up the reactions of the non-bronies) I only intend two of the characters to come out of this chapter to stay around and be my main villains, so eventually I want to take this to single-antagonist plus sidekick. But I'm concerned about boring the reader, or making them think, "oh, these characters are going to be around for a while" when they're not.

Question two: is this at all viable? Do I have to center my story around the characters, or can I use this method? I'm trying to show a conflict of *ideas*, as well as people, and if a character is just the personification of an idea, he's flat and unrealistic. If I do need more characters, how do I flesh them out while retaining the idea of anti-brony fervor that will lead to conflict?

Thanks in advance for helping.
>> No. 105318
File 133882518672.png - (27.90KB , 97x95 , Capture.png )
105318
Does anypony have any ideas on some events to use in a slice-of-life/romance (not shipping) fic? I'm kind of at a loss for ideas on how to move this story along. :S
>> No. 105320
Simple idea. FlitterxCloudchaser shipping.

I have obstacles.

First, I intend for this to cross over with my favorite fic(s) of all time Applejinx's works, naturally and will NOT allow myself to write this without giving these two the kind of depth of personalities that he would if it were him writing it. I'm not the type to put personalities on background ponies though so this is a hard one.

Second, I have to fight tooth and nail against the perception of them being sisters, and their colors are so similar that I dunno how I'm going to do that, I almost have to lampshade it and make it so that everyone assumes they're siblings or there's a special reason for the colors.
>> No. 105323
File 133882922484.png - (121.47KB , 463x463 , mlfw3615-1331534893105.png )
105323
>>105279
If you're looking for generic, you can't get much more generic than HiE or PoE fics. Or, another idea, how about have her go into a post-apocalyptic fic, ie Fallout: Equestria? I don't know what she'd do, though, but I could see her in those. Or how about a comedy fic where she ruins all of the jokes before they're told?

>>105318
The two that come to my mind are a visit to an amusement park/zoo, and a concert/party. Just my two cents.
>> No. 105330
File 133883354544.gif - (3.16KB , 200x166 , snap.gif )
105330
>>105323
Ooh, a concert sounds like it would work just fine! Thanks for the idea! :D Any other thoughts?
>> No. 105339
File 133884038800.png - (452.30KB , 1577x1527 , 133880507317.png )
105339
Hello /fic/friends!

So one thing I'm struggling with in a couple of new stories that I'm roughing out is an issue with weaponry.

Now, I like to try and keep my stories "adventurous" but not too far from the show's level of violence. As we see in a few episodes, brawling seems fairly okay and various guards/characters have swords etc. But I'm writing a fic where I was hoping to have some sort of ranged weaponry/threat.

Luckily the main villains in both fics either have hands (Diamond Dogs) or are unicorns (magic) but I don't want to use guns.

Do crossbows work? The show seems okay to show implied danger (Daring Doo almost gets riddled with darts etc) so badguys firing at heroes, threatening them with weapons is fine. But I'm just wondering if they really fit in with the show. Especially as I want "Action-Movie" esq sequences with reloading etc. Repeater crossbows? Steampunky Crossbows? Wouldn't these seem a little out of place?

As per the title, how does one have a "Shootout in Equestria" without turning into a "Over a Barrel" piefight?

Likewise; is it too much to have a villain threaten a character with death (pointing a sword at their chest/neck etc)? I want to remain within the "Adventure" category but go nowhere near Grimdark, or even Dark.

Would appreciate anypony's input! :D

Thanks!

~DP
>> No. 105371
>>105339

Hmm...

I think you're going to have to get creative as far as the 'ranged weapons' scenario goes. Try having the antagonists invent something interesting that fits your standards.

As a matter of personal opinion, I don't think that a character threatening another character with death is grimdark, so long as it goes along with the current scene and isn't repetitive or overly played.
>> No. 105373
File 133884644466.gif - (1.94MB , 397x287 , dl29F.gif )
105373
>>105339
None of those things, guns, swords, or crossbows, even approaches "dark", never mind "grimdark" (which is more of a vibe to the story than the result of weapons being tossed around). Treasure Island had guns, yet it's a classic kid's movie, as is Star Wars (the prequels not included), Indiana Jones, Legend of Zelda ect. ect.

If you want more cartoony guns, go for blunderbusses/fusils/flintlock, all of which feature a lot of reloading. Weapons powered by magic are also a viable option in the world of magic, with anything from super-heated lasers to freeze beams being an option.

Zorro threatened the antagonists with his sword, then proceeded to give them a nasty scar, yet was a staple of children comics and TV for decades. Harry Potter gets stabbed, zapped, clubbed, drowned, and all manners of mortal injuries (if not for the timely help of the good lord Deus Ex Machina), and it's become a classic piece of literature.

In short, don't let the stupid prudes keep you from making an engaging action scene just because it's ponies. Half of the reason fanfiction exists is to go beyond the show's boundaries and to experiment with the character in new situations.

>Pic
If Spongebob can do this, you can have a scene where someone bleeds.
>> No. 105381
Something just occurred to me. You know what we don't get enough of in this fandom? Interspecies couples. I mean, think about it. We have SpikexRarity, obviously, plus Gildash, and I saw a Gildixie once, but that's about it. It's not like interspecies couples are bad-- I mean, the show itself encourages them, for Chrissake. What I'd like to see is a shipfic where a pony falls for a creature that isn't another pony, Spike or Gilda. Say, a donkey, or a cow, or a mule, or a minotaur. Or, hay, we even had some oxen for a few seconds in "Hearts and Hooves Day." How about we bring those guys back? But I don't have enough time to write it, and I suck at writing shipping anyway, so... take it, /fic/!
>> No. 105385
File 133884922119.jpg - (33.67KB , 430x314 , 132252331404.jpg )
105385
>>105373
>>105373

Hey guys, thanks for the responses!

You're right, I'm probably being a little over-protective. Whilst I don't want to move away from the show's established violence-level (I really enjoy writing within the universe and tone of the show) I was being a bit over the top.

I've had a villain threaten one of the mane-six in my first big fic but because it was with a sword it felt... different.

I'm thinking gunpowder guns will still be out, but magical powered rayguns or steampunky crossbows will be the best options. Especially as I can have them inventions of the villains.

Here's another question, could an earth pony use a crossbow? I don't think so but Applejack's shown her tail is fairly prehensile (using it for rodeo tricks etc).

Appreciate the input guys, needed some secondary brains to tell mine it was being dumb! :)

~Dice
>> No. 105390
>>105381
I'm sure there's an Iron Will/Fluttershy clopfic out there, somewhere.
>> No. 105410
I have a couple ideas that I need help elaborating upon:

#1. What if Heroes took place in Equestria?(I have a list of character equivalents, if you want)
#2. For whatever reason, a portal to the Multiverse opens, causing characters from various fanfics/tumblrs/etc. to fall out into canon Ponyville.(I have a chapter setup all ready, and permission to use one of the characters that I want to[Anthropology's Lyra, I asked Jason].)

Any criticism would be helpful.

~Quint
>> No. 105412
File 133885801594.png - (244.89KB , 866x922 , my_little_chrono_trigger_by_inkwell_pony-d3d8th9[1].png )
105412
>>105385
>could an earth pony use a crossbow?
Sure. Strap a repeater crossbow to one foreleg. A lever, operated with the other hoof, is used for loading and firing. This requires the use of both forelegs, so no firing on the move, but sitting back on one's haunches is pretty common in canon. If desired, make the crossbow collapsible in some form, so that it's not quite so cumbersome out of combat.
>> No. 105419
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105419
Alrighty, here's an idea that I'd like an opinion on.

Princess Luna, having nothing to do during the night hours, walks aimlessly around the castle to kill time. Eventually, she stumbles across an old emergency broadcasting station hidden behind junk in a storage room. Due to having nothing better to do, she decides to start her own radio show under the name of "Tranquil Sea." So the Princess cleans up the place and secretly travels there at night to begin her radio show, which as time progresses, becomes more and more popular amongst the night ponies.

As she becomes engrossed in planning and doing her show, Luna forgets about her duties, arousing the suspicion of her sister. Luna takes notice of that and begins to take measures to not be caught while Celestia tries to find out what it is Luna is doing in private. Of course, Celestia hopes it isn't some sinister plot to overthrow her, but she doesn't rule it out. It soon becomes a game of cat and mouse while Luna juggles the radio show and more duties, which Celestia begins to shift to her sister to make her slip up. Such is life in the Zone, etc., etc..
>> No. 105424
>>105410
1) Boring X meets Y. Dime a dozen, and usually not worth much more than said dimes, too.
2) There's a couple stories like this. I remember a particularly bad one that was just a plot to put a bunch of charactered against each other in a death battle, except the author shoved Nyx and Past Sins-Twilight into it too, just so that he could say "Look, I've got Nyx! Won't you please stay and ream my crappy story? Please? It's so lonely here..."

>>105419
This one has promise. Make sure to reflect Luna's work juggling by having her burn out, then introduce a dilemna of whether to continue the show or focus on her duties. What's your end game planned as? Celestia joins in on the show?
Also, you'll have to come up for a reason for Celestia not knowing of the show, since I'm pretty sure she'd be able to put two-and-two together.
>> No. 105443
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105443
>>105424

Not sure about the endgame yet, most likely Celestia will not join the show due to her having the brunt of the work when it comes to running the country. I wouldn't know any other way to work around that other than saying alicorns don't need to sleep or some shit like that, but that explanation seems a bit cliched. The same reason she doesn't figure out about the show is the same reason she isn't able to join it. Due to the Summer Sun Celebration coming up, or some other holiday that needs her sole attention, she isn't able to keep tabs on Luna much, or at all, giving her sister a chance to mosey around and play 80's music from behind a storage room.

Still need to think of a title though, but I figured "New Lunar Radio" would play off that whole "New Lunar Republic" thing. Just hope no gets the idea it's some radical pirate radio show about bringing down Celestia.
>> No. 105454
Watching Hurricane Fluttershy made me think...

Ponyville is the most cosmopolitan place in Equestria as we know it, right? It's the only place not near-totally dominated by one type despite supposedly being an earth pony town.

Hurricane Fluttershy introduces a ton of background ponies that came out of nowhere. They all seem to have some hometown pride for Ponyville so they must live there.

Where the fuck did they COME from? Is there a cloud-suburb somewhere a few hundred feet above Ponyville, or do they live in normal houses and Ponyville is just a lot bigger than the establishing shot in the theme song would have us believe?

Also, most of them seem to be pretty much into pegasus culture, like Rainbow Dash, and unlike Fluttershy. Why did they move to Ponyville if they aren't misfits like Dashie and Flutters were? Is there a long history of unicorns and pegasi living in Ponyville?
>> No. 105497
Hello all. I'm new and I just wanted to have someone to bounce my story idea against before I got started on writing. It is a alternate world, crossover, time travel is a bitch, origin story of how the three tribes of ponies came to be.

What it is crossing over with is a video game called Pryzm: Chapter One~ The dark unicorn which I'll explain after my idea pitch.

So I go.

Some of the guardsponies of Celestia and the upper-class ponies have begun to notice that Princess Luna has been holding the Night Court less and less (Not that anyone really bothers to go). And it appears that she has been spending her nights within a temple surrounded by unnatural water and silence. The upper-class ponies are shocked to find such a fertile and apparently empty land within Equestria borders that they didn't know about and the fact that their former enemies (Dragons, griffons, etc) are also living in the temple. They begin to gossip amongst themselves about a possible Coup, the return of Nightmare Moon and the waste of money spent on settlements made west.
The guardsponies make it upon themselves to end this possible threat to Equestria and launch a attack of the temple. They also manage to have the bears of the elements of Harmony there to use their magic against whoever Princess Luna may be conspiring with. Luna arrives late and stops most of the fighting but fails to keep Twilight and the others from blasting the master of the temple. The OC had a series of spells broken from the blast and a remnant of a curse slowly gains power.

Afterwards, Twilight and her friends begins experience blinks into the far, far distant past. Before there were ever a Equestria or the three pony tribes. A time where there were 4 other distinct tribes that walked with two legs along with ponies and a true unicorn had both wings and a horn.

Meanwhile, the OC struggles to teach Luna about the full potential of the stars and how they are more than distant lights of the skies that she can move. And the upper-class ponies demanding a right to the land, unicorns demanding to be taught magic and the steady erosion of his mind as the curse slowly take controls of the magic within the temple.

I could write more but this is the bare bones of my idea.

Pryzm: Chapter One~ The dark unicorn was a video game that flopped but had great story telling potential. Pryzm, a winged unicorn went about purifying the corrupted lands of the elf, troll, gnome and nymph that had been infected by a strange plague. The plague killed mostly everybody and the ones that survived were morphed into mindless monsters that protected the plague flowers that had taken root in the lands. Long story short, whole plague was caused by accident by a unicorn who was really trying to give the other tribes a horn which instead warped them. He became a slave to the magic he used and Pryzm saved his ghostly ass. And then a horrible( I think the game developers really didn't realize what message they were giving) ending. Pryzm saved the lands, but the other tribes' leaders are dead and most of them are dead. And the unicorns didn't care about the plague and didn't bother to help when they could have saved more lives or even let it get this far.

Let's just say 100 years after that, a fact was realized among the 5 tribes. Unicorns, at any moment, could use their horns and cause a plague anytime they wanted to. And those with that potencial, were Alicorns.

Anyway, Pryzm in this story would be considered Princess Celestia and Luna's great grandmother to the nth power as she was the first unicorn to be born with a cutie mark prophesying her life's goal.

The main point of this story is to answer the following questions: What happen to the four other tribes?, What happen to the proud winged unicorns?, What does the Alicorn really mean? and what is the price that must be paid with Pony flesh that Pryzm couldn't pay?. And a minor question of screwing with Equestria's political system with a OC that doesn't give a damn about ponies when it comes about who the land really belongs to.

Thanks for the feedback in advance.
>> No. 105531
So, I'm trying to create a storyline, though I feel myself a little lacking a writer (it's been a while since I'm written anything besides meta-philosophical and internal monologue), and I was hoping that I could steal a little advice from more experienced writers.

Right now my plotline is pretty typical doomsday evildoer scenario:
Chrysalis is angry, and in the midst of her rampaging throughout her hive, she comes across a gleam of inspiration. She decides that she we free discord from his stone prison and use discord to divide the ponies and start a civil war. And Discord, after his defeat, works with Chrysalis to destroy the elements of harmony in the ensuing chaos so that no will challenge their reign. The mane six need to find a way to overcome their differences and stop Chrysalis and discord before all is lost.
(All things considered, it will probably play out similar to FF6 - War starts, Discord destroys elements of harmony, betrays chrysalis, some plot twist that the elements of harmony can never truly be destroyed and that their energy lives on, the mane 6 find a way to channel this energy, discord gets defeated in a massive final confrontation)

Personally, I'm concerned about my ability to pace the story, maintain fluid dialog (I'm horribly not a people person, so I fear my dialog is too mechanical), and really capture scenes effectively. I have tendancy to ramble and really fail to paint a good picture in someponys' head. So any advice somepony could give me would be greatly appreciated.
>> No. 105593
I have a two story outlines that I never seem to be able to finish:

=====

STORY 1

Everyone made fun of Rainbow Dash for saying that Fluttershy was a tree. But...what if Rainbow Dash really _did_ think that Fluttershy was a tree? What if her entire life, her critical mistake of vocabulary was never corrected.....

---

The four paused as they stared at Rainbow Dash.

"See! You're going to make fun of me again! But, I know I'm right! My whole life Fluttershy has been one in the same with 'tree'!"

Twilight and Applejack gave despondent looks at each other. How could Rainbow Dash possibly have gone her entire life thinking that the word 'tree' meant Fluttershy?

Obviously, some questioning was in order.

Twilight looked over at Rainbow Dash, "But, Rainbow, what about Winter Wrap Up? You're supposed to clear the snow off of all the trees."

Fluttershy gaped, "Oh, that explains a lot."

Applejack shook her head, "Then what about when you were helping me harvest, and I told you to buck the trees?"

Fluttershy looked down, "So that's why you tried to kick me..."

---

"But...if that's supposed to be what the word 'tree' means, then...that doesn't make sense!"

Twilight and Applejack blinked.

Applejack replied, "Well, why not?!"

Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack, "Because then what's the word 'bathroom' supposed to mean?!"

THE END

=====

STORY TWO

I wanted to try to mix Twilight Sparkle with the writings of Boudrillard.

-----


Twilight begins to think about what is really 'real'.

---

Twilight thinks about what is really 'real', and through a number of deductions, comes to the conclusion that the world does not exist and is instead a simulation progenerated by a being of which Celestia is their avatar.

---

She picked up the cup, and spun it around, examining it next to the cup that was meant for her friend. She picked up the other cup. The two were identical to her perception, in fact, if she were to...

She switched the cups.

One was replaced with the other. For all intensive purposes, it made no different which cup was chosen. But, then, which cup really was 'real' and which one was the imitator? There had to have been designed an original cup, a prototype, by which all the other cups were simply copies of that original. Would that original cup have been real, and these copies imaginary in some sense? Or would all the cups be real? If there was no difference in the copies, then if a completely constructed reality were made, what difference would there be in calling that real or imaginary?

Twilight placed back down the cup and sat back on her haunches. She had travelled this way before, this line of thought was simply that of the old 'brain in a vat' thought experiment.

=====
>> No. 105616
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105616
I was reading through some old reviews in The Training Grounds and, when examining the dissection of a cliche, realized a mindset that could be useful for not only avoiding cliches, but making a story more interesting in general.

Ask yourself this, writer: if this were non-pony fanfiction in every way possible, and none of the characters were even close analogues of the show characters (at least in a superficial way, i.e. the accent and trade of Applejack and Rarity), would it be at all interesting to you? Would it be interesting to anyone besides yourself?

Let's say someone has a hard life. Then, this person travels to a city where most of the people are nice to them and listens to/tries to assuage their every complaint. One of them even throws them a welcoming party. Eventually, one of them may become a romantic interest.

This is a formula that makes up a significant number of fanfictions. But it's not a decent recipe or one that requires any particular amount of effort to implement, it's more of a comfort food like mac and cheese or buttered toast with honey on it that requires no thought and is all self-gratification. One is taking preexisting elements that are not very complex and placing them together for consumption with little effort to modify them in any way that would bring out their flavors more.
>> No. 105636
File 133897795339.png - (246.00KB , 400x400 , 179589 - adorable artist averagedraw celestia cute filly princess.png )
105636
I had a great idea for a fanfic but i just can not seem to get it on paper if somebody would like to give me a with writing this fanfic send me a email at mrwhiskey28@gmail.com
>> No. 105655
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105655
Hey there Story Forge.
>pic
I saw this image last night on Facebook and had a stroke of inspiration for a sad fic. I seem to have a knack for coming up with those, anyways, here's the idea I came up with last night. It's somewhat vague because it was me scrambling to copy down my thoughts before they trickled away, but here it is:

Write the first scene as a flashback of Fluttershy rushing to stop her, some dialogue between the two of them, have Rainbow say something that makes it sound like she did it intentionally, but what the reader doesn’t know yet is that something else caused her to fall. End scene with Fluttershy calling out “Rainbow Dash NOOOOOO” the image will come in later in the story.
Cut to opening scene.
I don’t know where to start the story really, I’m still debating whether to throw some FlutterDash shipping in there, heavy or mild. At some point in the story it is revealed that Fluttershy was either A) unable to save Dash from the fall, or B) was able to save her from death but suffered several severe injuries herself. Situation A, dash is unable to fly and must give up on her dream to become a wonderbolt. Situation B, Fluttershy also cannot fly, and I could probably go somewhere with that too.

What do you guys think?
>> No. 105773
>>104632 here.
I've made a few changes, especially to Tartarin's character. Being the villain, he takes up a good part of the plot and I want to flesh him out more as a character. Like most villains, I don't plan on going too much into his backstory. He used to work for Celestia, got exiled, is mad at the princess, wants revenge.

But the issue comes, again, for his demise. I just have no idea how it should go. The idea is still that he becomes even more powerful and rules over Equestria for a few minutes, but when it comes to taking him down, I have no idea how to do it.

Should his death be particularly gruesome? If he's going to have a physical death, it won't be him just falling off a ledge - I thought about him getting crushed by the ceilings of Celestia's palace, impaled on some really sharp object...

But I also thought about him getting caught back by what he harnesses his magic from, which is revealed to be some weird abomination that's kind of hard to explain, ala Giygas or Blair Witch.
>> No. 105793
File 133911360957.png - (1.15MB , 1232x714 , um.png )
105793
>>105655
That sounds kind of like this fic:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/10/story-to-fix-you.html
>> No. 105797
>>105655
>>105793
It also reminds me of some other fanfiction... granted, the idea is probably done to death but that doesn't mean you can't make it enjoyable if you try!
>> No. 105809
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105809
>>105793
Neigh! I must not read it, I might try to steal ideas from it. I shall suffice for a very brief summary if you wish to give it.
>> No. 105946
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105946
I compiled a list of story ideas that don't have feedback, below responses.
------------
>>105233
Your attention, please. I know it's late (almost a week; I'm busy), and you've gotten some negative responses, but I hope you come back because I want to chime in. First, you must understand, the struggle you describe is as old as the hills. What will distinguish it as a story is the way in which it differs from the other iterations of class warfare that have happened throughout the ages. So, to make it interesting, toss in some quirky personalities, a conflict that is more complicated than simply "pony goes up against the establishment" (i.e. that details exactly how he does so and his angle of attack), and maybe a MacGuffin in some form or another. Then, you have a story, and not merely an empty archetype. I hope you find this advice useful.

>>105317
I read the words "left behind" in this post and immediately thought of the LaHaye and Jenkins trainwreck of masturbatory fundagelical kitsch-text, the "Left Behind" series. I think you have an interesting idea in itself (following two completely separate stories in parallel, like Empire of the Ants), but I couldn't help but ponder what potential there might be in making a parody of sorts out of it.

>>105390
A while ago I searched for "Iron Will" on Google Images. I wish I hadn't. Among many movie posters was one very unsavory pic. Poor Fluttershy.

-----------

Why can't I hold all these idea/inquiry posts?

>>104313
>>104632
>>105118
>>105381
>>105254
>>105279
>>105317
>>105320
>>105381
>>105454
>>105497
>>105531
>>105593
>>105636

Wow, I missed a lot.

BTW, these are those that don't have *feedback*, i.e. more than just an off-topic quip, or single sentence, or whatever. My criteria are highly subjective, so if you feel something has been done justice or given sufficient feedback already (or hasn't gotten enough feedback and needs more), just tell me how wrong I am.
>> No. 105983
File 133925591205.png - (184.63KB , 308x401 , NoxPatience.png )
105983
You see, for the ideas I have most of them demand that I come up with some form of original magic, ones that have never been explored (at least to my knowledge) and ones that have been touched upon, but not really made of any importance.

Here's my ideas for spells:

Zero (Genesis) - The first 'creation' magic ever conceived, its default power is nullifying and and all magic depending on the strength of the emotions of the caster. In its most powerful state, absorbs magic and uses it in the process of creating something out of entirely nothing or recycling parts of other things.

CONS: Cost of its usage is (in default) great mental and physical strain and (in most powerful form) death to the caster and any magical sources in the vacinity.

Here's a magical anomaly that I had to come up with to accomodate a story of mine:

Planeshift Convergence: A disturbance in which two portals at opposite ends of space collide within the dimensional rift, causing a massive explosion of universal magic that can decimate an entire continent.


Any assistance in refining these two things would be most appreciated.
>> No. 105986
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105986
Does anyone have any examples of stories actually produced using these Story Forge ideas, or is it just a waste of time?


Anyway, here's another vague idea for the pile:

Applejack wrangles Big Mac into joining her and the rest for a big Canterlot charity event. While discussing the idea of a 'bachelor auction,' he winds up roped into a gentlecolt's wager with Fancypants - a series of posh dates with willing mares who make donations based on how the date went. Whoever collects the most is truly the top gentlecolt of Equestria.

Cue a series of vignettes, ranging from romantic to comedy, in which Fancypants and Big Mac employ their own particular style of charm and gentlecoltness to lead a series of mares on a variety of small adventures and teach them valuable life lessons.
>> No. 105987
>>105986
I would retort: is a seed vault a waste of time?
>> No. 105988
>>105987
If no one ever uses the seeds, then ... ... yes?
>> No. 105989
>>105988
You don't seem to know what a seed vault is for, a seed vault exists solely to store plants which would otherwise have been lost and then, in case anyone ever needs them in some point in the future, they exist rather than been lost forever.

A couple of stories here get improve, but most of the rest are simply in relative storage of /fic/s impossibly slow movement, and quite possibly in others hard drive.

The only way this place is a waste of time is if it disappears forever under the depths of /fic/, which you are helping not occur.
>> No. 105997
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105997
>>105989
I regularly make full archives of /fic/. After something 404's, and Google's cache of it disappears, I'll have it on my hard drive.
>> No. 106054
File 133929415546.gif - (253.97KB , 800x600 , pc8.gif )
106054
A fic idea that I wouldn't mind an opinion on, involving Vinyl and a notorious record producer who's also the CEO of Equestria's most affluent record label.

After deejaying at a gig and nearly getting booed off stage, Vinyl Scratch decides to find some way gain better experience in her field. She begins noticing her genre of music is becoming less and less appealing in Canterlot, her home city, and sets her sights on learning how to make better music from being mentored. Despite her choice being from a completely different genre and background, Vinyl sets aside her doubts and asks one the most legendary record producers in Equestria, a stallion by the name of Bit Chaser.

Vinyl tries desperately to get in contact with him for quite a while, and continues to be ignored as her remaining funds dwindle from losing more and more gigs. Eventually, she barges into his office despite the bodyguards and receptionist and finds him sitting there along with many other famous ponies she'd only ever heard about. This flusters her to no end and she soon goes off on him, screaming insults and other profanities.

As the dust settles, he mentions that his secretary purposely removes any type of fan letters or the such from his mail. Vinyl becomes embarrassed for having caused the scene but still remains bitter about his policy on ignoring others that aren't as well-known as him. She stomps off while his associates laugh at the sudden intrusion, fueling her hatred.

As she exits the elevator, several security guards prevent her from leaving and force her through levitation into a meeting room. After quite a while, Bit Chaser shows up and attempts to pry the information from her on why she busted into his office without an appointment. Vinyl admits that she wanted him to be her mentor and teach him how to be more successful in the music industry while he simply listens.

Bit Chaser asks for a sample of her music, which she quickly produces. He listens, but isn't very much impressed, bluntly stating it to her. Crestfallen, Vinyl decides to leave before losing more face and heads out the door. The music mogul stops her and mentions that he didn't actually say no to her request. Giddy, she asks him to accept, which he does under the following conditions: that she actually broaden her horizons from her current genre; dedicate herself to becoming better, do everything he says, and learn quickly.

And so he takes her under his wing (metaphorically, due to him being an Earth pony) and shows her everything about the music industry, the life that comes with it, and the sacrifices that need to be made to sit among the best. Over the course of the story, Vinyl discovers more and more about the street-savvy producer/CEO, realizing that even his greatest accomplishments came at the loss of his most prized possessions in the world. Those losses, she learns, are what motivated his music and career to becoming what it is today.

Anyway, Vinyl should be self-explanatory character-wise, which is usually the young, hip mare that tries to further her career at every opportunity. Bit Chaser, a brown Earth stallion with a few bits with speed lines as a Cutie Mark, is a retired rapper from Manehattan who pushed himself from the ghettos and did everything in his power to achieve fame. He's fairly pessimistic, blunt, wise-cracking, and well-liked amongst Canterlot's elite for his business sense. Bit Chaser essentially becomes the father-figure Vinyl never had during her childhood, much like himself, which makes him sympathize with her more.

Well, that's about it I think.
>> No. 106065
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106065
Conversion Bureau from the point of view of an HLF insurgent. RAther than being a Saturday morning cartoon villian, I aim to present them as something more than this universe's stand-in for communist Nazi-Jews

Set up: Around 1/3rd of the first world (NA, Europe, parts of Asia) have been ponified. Although there is a lot of mixing in communities, there is a lot of tension growing as the only people still human are the ones who are negative to the idea of being turned (many people turned because friends/relatives had, domino effect and such) or are being annoyed by attitudes of the 'turned'. Eventually, a group of humans who resist the growing influence of Equestria eventually form into the HLF, especially after rumors of the PER doing... you know... stuff like hiding potion bombs in pinatas and such. This is a while into the conflict, so the HLF is known about, but propaganda has them painted as they do in many other fics. I aim to challenge that.

Basic story: Main character, Jack (better name?), rescues a scientist who worked on the original ponification serum, but he turns out to be a pony. This is important because, as opposed to former humans (often referred to as "turned"), they're basically humans in a pony body. So, Jack plans to find a way to somehow save humanity, such as making a humanization serum, making humans magic-proof, and other things like that. He succeeds partially (enchanting spell by the scientist), and infiltrates Equestria past the magical barrier. He comes back and forms a pro-human group among ponies ("Not Alone sub-universe part crossover) that eventually reaches the top, as in Princess Luna, who wishes to do something about the whole genocide thing. However, the fic ends as Jack is captured and Rainbow Dash and Luna are personally overseeing his ponification. Ending speech leaves some... 'dangerous' ideas in Rainbow's head, while Luna discretely nods her head in acknowledgement that she'll do her part in the plan.

Other facts:
-Turned are ghosts of their former selves, and lack many aspects of their personality, and are essentially new people ("When you fundamentally change the hardware but keep the software, somethin's bound to fuck up!"), but 'off'. In fact, the only emotions they are capable of only "positive" emotions. Things such as sadness or anger do not form, and depressing situations are barely met by batted eyes.
-Ponification serum is only effective when ingested or inhaled at first, but eventually is made able to turn on contact. In the beginning of the story, gas masks are enough but the characters are soon forced to wear full body suits (mental images being in line with Fallout's Ranger armor and WH40k's Death Korps of Krieg) to remain immune.
-As revealed by the scientist, the "humans don't have souls" thing is actually total horseshit to try and use fear to make humans convert. However, the lack of magic thing is totally legit.

So, thoughts?
>> No. 106140
>>105946
I may initiate another clean-up phase later tonight, but there is a lot of other work I have to do first.

On a side note, I'm going to get back into actively writing soon, which means my focus will be elsewhere. So please don't expect my clean-ups to be a regular thing. From what I can gather from this thread, posters need to contribute to others ideas instead of just piling theirs over them. Look at it this way: the fewer ideas in the queue, the greater the guarantee of receiving a response.
>> No. 106152
>>106140
Know what? You're right. I'm not doing anything anyway.

>>106054
You look like you've written the first 1 or 2 chapters. There's really not much that goes on.
>Vinyl sucks
>She gets help
>She doesn't suck any more

>>105986
Not quite sure what you're trying to write. What's a 'bachelor auction'?

>>105593
>Tree
That's stupid. If you are trying to write a comedy, you've failed to amuse me and possibly many other writers.
Maybe it's just me, not liking references to stupid, overdone parts of the fandom such as Lyra/BonBon, Pinkie's 4th wall breaking, Pinkie making people into cupcakes (although I loved the original fic), Derpy, and many others. And now, Fluttertree.

>Reality
That's not a story (No conflict, plot, etc), and it is not necessary for the characters to be ponies (There's no functional difference between Earth-Me-President and Equestria-Twilight-Celestia).

>>105497
With such a vague game, you're going to just have to put in every detail readers should know about and pretend that Pryzm never existed, becasue readers won't know what's going on. You might as well just treat it as an AU rather than a crossover.

>>105454
They moved there for jobs, friends, family, cheap housing, etc.
NEXT!

>>105410
>#1. What if Heroes took place in Equestria?(I have a list of character equivalents, if you want)
Heroes? The only Hero with a capital H is from the Fable series.
>#2. For whatever reason, a portal to the Multiverse opens, causing characters from various fanfics/tumblrs/etc. to fall out into canon Ponyville.(I have a chapter setup all ready, and permission to use one of the characters that I want to[Anthropology's Lyra, I asked Jason].)
You're going to have to make sure that they are both well known enough to be appreciated and in character enough not to be raged over.

>>105339
People overuse grimdark. Grimdark is not just a fic that is both "grim" and "dark". Grimdark is hopeless, is violent, with the main characters being so helpless and defeated that there is no hope of victory. Think 40k.
>Ancient Murdering Robots that wear the flesh of their newest victims
>Genetically engineered killing machines
>The evil twin brother of the Genetically engineered killing machines, with equally evil goatees
>Clad in powered armor
>Manipulative dicks in possession of extremely cheesy technology and can jump around making damn accurate shots like Quake players
>Highly-advanced space Communists with mecha and god-like firepower
>Daemons with a billion tentacles to rape you with
>Mutant 10ft tall space monsters with lots of teeth
>Able to grow bigger and stronger the more they fight
>Some combination of the above
THAT is grimdark. When Hitler is a good guy not only in comparison, but that he would actually improve the setting if successful. Not some "oh my parents are dead, i don't have friends, my home burnt down, my parents were killed in front of me at the age of 5 right before i was raped and left to die in front of an orphanage". True grimdark makes the former quote look like Saturday morning cartoons.

So, I think your story is fine. I wouldn't even put it in "dark". As Ion said, Star Wars has guns.

>>105317
1) That's basically a HiE, only a bunch of Hs in E. Don't count on too many dedicated readers
2) I wouldn't say it's viable, but my opinion is based on a made up idea on your willingness to write it. Even Kkat (sp?) only wrote it becasue of the fans, and your idea doesn't seem like it would get a lot of fans.

If you're going to write a novel, why not make it original fiction and sell it? Instead of a bunch of bronies going to Equestria, make it a bunch of people stolen off the streets or something and are forced into a colonization experiment.

>>105256
ಠ_ಠ

>>105233
1) As others have said, you'd have to be godly to pull this off.
2) Not really my cup of tea, so can't help you much other than point 1.
>> No. 106171
File 133937355216.gif - (3.62KB , 200x187 , snowman.gif )
106171
I'm still thinking of what might be a good event to use in my romance fic, preferrably for a date-like context. Something a little unconventional, to spice things up. Any ideas?
>> No. 106267
So this is a thread where I can get help expanding ideas for a story I'm trying to write???
>> No. 106272
File 133945585984.png - (39.44KB , 125x115 , 133884823007s.png )
106272
>>106267
That's what the OP says, although I wouldn't hold your breath, this thread tends to move slowly, as does most of this board.
>> No. 106274
File 133945622855.jpg - (18.03KB , 640x358 , noxstare.jpg )
106274
>>106272

LIES! I posted my ideas for a spell and an anomaly and no one has told me if they need work or not.
>> No. 106278
File 133945960964.png - (116.16KB , 610x542 , 4628_quizzical_scootaloo_by_moongazeponies-d3e5zo6_png-610x0.png )
106278
>>106274
>I wouldn't hold your breath, this thread tends to move slowly, as does most of this board.
Isn't that what I just said?
>> No. 106280
File 133945986451.png - (184.63KB , 308x401 , NoxPatience.png )
106280
>>106278

No, mine was ignored. The question posted right after that received all the attention.
>> No. 106282
File 133946015943.jpg - (6.30KB , 264x191 , 20348965-457.jpg )
106282
>>106280

>>105655
>>105793
>>105983
You and me both.

I wish I could get some help with mine, instead they just say," oh, that's been done" and move on.
>> No. 106286
File 133946064830.jpg - (87.99KB , 640x480 , gucciburr.jpg )
106286
>>106282

Who the hell cares if its been done before? That just means you have a chance to do it better than the previous person and usurp their asses with your masterpiece.
>> No. 106287
File 133946110095.jpg - (17.21KB , 300x360 , 292564_282377215187427_100002454536633_602401_1744174905_n.jpg )
106287
>>106286
As I plan to do, but if nopony will help me... I guess I'll just have to do it myself.
>> No. 106305
>>105655
>>106287
You should really come ask for my opinion some time, partner.

First off, please don't do FlutterDash, it throws off the dark tone of the story. That's my opinion, but some authors are really good at adding in romance to dark stories. I usually just can't understand why, though. It seems forced most of the time.

I think that if you were to do the 'Failure of Wonderbolt Dream And Can't Fly' scenario you would have to present that shattering of the dream to make it so tragic and matched up with other elements that are destroyed in RD's life so she just doesn't look like a big pussy who kills herself over the Wonderbolts and not being able to fly. Something has to happen that just destroys her inner workings as long as her dream. Not being able to fly is pretty damn tough for Dash's character, but she's a strong character that realistically would cope with the fact after some time. A lot of things need to happen and pile down on her at once.

I think it'd be cool to play on Fluttershy's mortal fears. Heights seems to be one of her fears, so following Dash up to the tip of a mountain even though she knows what RD is going to do may be a good point. You need to expand on that though, or else some readers just won't buy that little fear.

Just my two cents.
>> No. 106310
File 133947108240.png - (53.58KB , 401x300 , 348.png )
106310
So like, a whole bunch of famous ponyfic authors get a plushy of their OC in the mail, and over the course of a few days, they slowly turn into their OC.
>> No. 106317
File 133947331455.png - (67.59KB , 200x193 , I\'mSoFresh.png )
106317
>>106310
Sounds like a meta-fic that could be really awesome or really dumb.
>> No. 106320
File 133947631775.jpg - (99.03KB , 407x640 , 4405805254_b55b4dc1aa_z.jpg )
106320
>>106287

Well, what exactly do you need help with?

Here, have a picture of Ol' Dirty Bastard tattooed on someone to help ease the pain.
>> No. 106321
>>106310

The only way this would be successful is if you got the authors to write that story themselves.
>> No. 106324
File 133947791582.png - (400.84KB , 383x645 , scootidea.png )
106324
>>106320
Well, I've got an opening scene, a basic premise, and... nothing to fill any of it with. so I would need help coming up with ideas to fill in the storyline. That's why I came here.
>>106305
Ah, at last, some inspiration. You're right I should just come to you in the future.
>Something has to happen that just destroys her inner workings as long as her dream
emotions?
>adding in romance to dark stories
>A lot of things need to happen and pile down on her at once.
I-DE-A!
>I think it'd be cool to play on Fluttershy's mortal fears. Heights seems to be one of her fears
that one was already at the back of my mind, as the emotion she seems to be portraying in the image is fear, both for Rainbow Dash and for herself. Thank you, colleague, for that inspiring advice. I think I may begin writing now, if not just further brainstorming.
>> No. 106330
File 133947843388.jpg - (90.48KB , 480x720 , rr5n8.jpg )
106330
>>106320
>> No. 106333
File 133947932261.jpg - (6.94KB , 204x204 , 5t746767.jpg )
106333
>>106324
>>106305
I've just finished writing down my sudden idea, and this story just got interesting. I'm going to message you on Fimfiction, assuming that Professor Hugbox who is now watching me is you. As soon as I finish nailing down the framework of this story, I think it will be some of my best work, after I write it of course.
>> No. 106338
File 133948405141.jpg - (25.24KB , 300x400 , oldirtyfoot.jpg )
106338
>>106330

I counter with a foot tattoo.

>>106324

Let's say hypothetically that Dash was trying to commit suicide, but after Fluttershy saves her, realizes how badly she messed up. Fluttershy is incapable of flight now, severely depressed and barely moves much. Rainbow Dash is left in incredible guilt over putting her friend in that situation and receiving that result but tries to redeem herself by helping Fluttershy with everything she used to do. Over time the relationship develops more, etc., and shippy-shippy bullshit, yadda-crap.

Then again, this might not even make sense because I'm not entirely sure I read your original post right. That and you seem to already have help. Oh well, such is life in the Zone.
>> No. 106385
Is there such a thing as a noncliche way to have a human move in and out of Equestria, preferably with a few items every now and again?
>> No. 106389
File 133953068701.png - (189.71KB , 1509x1509 , 46532bce_scootaloo_idea[1].png )
106389
>>106385
Well, the cliches are the usual "Pinkie Pie reaches through the fourth wall", or the "brony creates portal", or "Twilight creates portal through magic". I'm personally a fan of blaming it on Twilight's experiments, but if you're looking for originality, you could make an original character with a unique condition, such as launch from DBZ, who changes personality every time she sneezes. You could make it so that this character teleports between Earth and Equestria at random, or as a result of an uncontrollable small event. such as a sneeze I personally would love to see this done, as it could be played into a comical disorienting(or disorientating ir you're British) encounter with humans and ponies alike.
>> No. 106390
>>106389
Hmm, I'd like something more reliable, I don't exactly just want to pull a The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe with an inexplicable portal just existing, but so far that's the only thing that really satisfies the plot.
>> No. 106395
File 133953924327.png - (60.34KB , 202x215 , scootaloo thoughtful.png )
106395
>>106390
Well, the more puzzle pieces I have to work with, the easier it is to see the solution. But if you need something reliable... there's always the tiny spatial rift that nopony ever seems to notice, which floats a few feet off the ground just behind a bush, which grows a few feet off the side of a secluded trail deep in the woods. and on the other side it just happens to be inside the wall at the back of some brony's closet, which he discovered a few years after moving into that house when he put his foot through the wall in anger, and has been keeping a secret from his friends and family. Do with that what you will, but for some reason, few authors tend to take that path, so it's worth a shot.
>> No. 106410
File 133954615354.jpg - (31.27KB , 300x300 , Rick-Ross-and-Justin-Bieber.jpg )
106410
Ight, ight, let me tell you how to really get a character into Equestria or whatever planet or some shit.

The character has to abducted by Derpy's, probed, and dropped off on the outskirts of Ponyville where he/she goes and sees Derpy, has traumatic memories, and ends up in the insane asylum along with Screw Loose. Such is life in Equestria.
>> No. 106465
NEW THREAD >>106451
NEW THREAD >>106451
NEW THREAD >>106451
NEW THREAD >>106451
NEW THREAD >>106451
>> No. 106474
File 133956161356.jpg - (13.07KB , 256x256 , SC.jpg )
106474
hey there everypony; for some time now i've been considering writing some lovecraftian pony fanfic stories, but the thing is: i've never written any sort of stories before outside of school, years ago. so if any of you would like to give me some advice for what is basically a first time writer, it'd really help.

aside from this, i've also got a dilemma concerning which town i should have my first story take place in. at first i was thinking i'd use Trottingham, but as far as i can recall, nothing really concrete has been said about that town, and i don't want to write all about the town, and then see the town show up in season 3 and be completely different from what i've written. so if anyone has any suggestions for a town, i'd be really appreciative.

thanks in advance for any help given :)
>> No. 106499
File 133957365504.jpg - (30.16KB , 437x500 , Interrobang.jpg )
106499
I have never finished a story before, but I have an amazing idea for a fic that would cast some of my own fanon light on the history of alicorns and why exactly celestia and luna have been around for centuries yet we see Cadance grow up in Twilight's lifetime.

I would just like to take a poll to see how interested you readers would be in such a fic.

(I've already written about 7k words, but I noticed several parts that need FIXING and sorta dread going over them. Regardless, I still want to finish it... any advice?)
>> No. 106501
File 133957367538.jpg - (30.16KB , 437x500 , Interrobang.jpg )
106501
I have never finished a story before, but I have an amazing idea for a fic that would cast some of my own fanon light on the history of alicorns and why exactly celestia and luna have been around for centuries yet we see Cadance grow up in Twilight's lifetime.

I would just like to take a poll to see how interested you readers would be in such a fic.

(I've already written about 7k words, but I noticed several parts that need FIXING and sorta dread going over them. Regardless, I still want to finish it... any advice?)
>> No. 106631
>>106499
>>106501
First of all; double post lol. Second, you should repost this to the new thread. >>106451
>> No. 120568
>>97739
Did you get a new email address?

-darkartsfart@hotmail.com
>> No. 127317
http://halcyonmedia-llc.com/cash-you-acquire-around-it-possible-spend-pay-back
BC/looking-for-almost-any-stashed-away-shop-for-otherwise-powerful-pay-back-details">http://s2.account-expert.com/en/%D1%84%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%83%D0%BC/looking-for-almost-any-stashed-away-shop-for-otherwise-powerful-pay-back-details
http://listwhatever.com/content/if-your-deal-regarding-locking-down-easy-payday-loan
http://www.forumnr.cz/blog/3141/wobec-tego-niewielka-wypuszczenie-terminu-wydaje-sie-warte-duzych-przychod%C3%B3/
http://xn--7dbdag2d3bc.com/content/theyve-been-period-time-disgusting-status-because-theyre-now-overextended
http://www.eyefindsingapore.com/questions/travel-leisure/ale-czasem-jest-dozwolone-uderzyc-srebro
http://www.szigetvarivsc.hu/will-probably-contribute-customers-can-be-easy-paying-outstanding-significance
http://dpo.krirpo.ru/node/67483
http://ds190.centerstart.ru/node/5784
http://kodurat.com/jcow/blogs/viewstory/33867
http://stage.community.plantservices.com/content/merely-actually-1-accessible-service-which
http://thingsgrandpasaid.com/?q=content/though-you-just-have-one-hundred-dollar-debt-excessive-amount-oftentimes-leads
http://www.waagg.com/blog/788311/turn-out-to-be-very-wary-alluring-well-over-any-good-money-advance/
http://shipin.yylearn.com/?q=node/35910
http://e-academia.ru/node/410860
http://www.modipu.com/?q=gl/node/13313
http://www.apartmentheroes.com/your-reduced-your-automobile-prevent-payback-entire-financial
http://kadri.dk/node/83973
http://www.theyoungachievers.org/content/opiekunowie-musza-zawzdy-egzaminowac-podzial-esrb-odnosnie-do-gier-komputerowych-sieciowy
http://adaconcept.com/hu/content/trying-get-any-stashed-fines-addition-vital-pay-back-help-and-advice
http://www.egmedicals.com/pachda.com/?q=node/79966
http://sohiran.ir/fb/index.php?do=/blog/7713/ogranicz-wydatki-za-pomoca-bytnosc-w-piwnicy-a-takze-grac-na-miejscu-mojego/
http://www.epralap.hu/node/89966
http://www.answers-userpoints.chipcleary.com/node/52
http://www.tamang.com/history/upewnij-sie-kiedy-zdobia-okna-tak-przez-internet-niczym-iw-rzeczywistych-cegly
http://ourgardennd.com/blog/20130409simply-because-lenders-make-it-so-easy-have-payday-cash-loan
http://www.taguser.com/blog/29493/can-look-into-the-2-year-contract-wisely/
http://haitiansocialnetwork.com/blog/142455/dowiedz-sie-co-ponadto-potomek-sporzadza-jak-r%C3%B3wniez-nadzorowania-takich-ko/
http://asagicigil.com/jcow/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/272205
http://dev2010.vps-private.net/ru/node/108902
http://buddyarea.com/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/16230
http://www.apartmentheroes.com/przekonaj-sie-tak-samo-ewaluacja-co-kwalifikuje-fallusa-opr%C3%B3cz-tego-rankingu
http://theyuppypuppy.co.uk/node/86280
http://www.usidolonline.com/index.php?do=/blog/139014/ogranicz-naklady-z-wykorzystaniem-przebywanie-na-strychu-a-takze-pograc-w-r/
http://www.prarticles.com/articol/2013/316676/handlu-na-miejscu-mojego-grach-przez-internet-jesli-skonczysz-wlasciwa-im
http://www.glovv.com/blog/362/which-relieves-the-possibility-of-walking-on/
http://my-bugatti.ru/forum/do-not-forget-order-ask-friend-if-they-will-lend-you-far-more-start-out-yield-pay-back.html
http://kecskemetivizisportklub.hu/node/102438
http://cedecap.org.pe/node/10380
http://gay31.com/index.php?do=/blog/34897/naklad-rozrywki-przez-internet-maja-szanse-znaczaco-sie-r%C3%B3znic/
>> No. 127318
http://litnyc.net/node/55592
BC/your-pay-will-likely-be-lessen-while-the-organization-shall-lure-your-business">http://s1.account-expert.com/en/%D1%84%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%83%D0%BC/your-pay-will-likely-be-lessen-while-the-organization-shall-lure-your-business
http://takeshapekids.com/look-warning-particular-high-going-out-if-you-decide-visit-everyday-or-extra
http://www.gaymecs.fr/blog/14192/dont-forget-because-of-this-get-a-loan-greater-than-treatment-methods-finan/
http://www.horecainzicht.com/node/12155
http://trn.kz/node/40241
http://mymultihull.com/dlatego-kotku-wypuszczenie-pracy-zdaje-sie-byc-adekwatne-do-wielkich-przychod%C3%B3w
http://archive.k4health.org/fr/toolkits/communitybasedfp/db/new-forum/ale-czasem-jest-mozliwosc-uderzyc-srebro
http://www.baranyamegye.hu/few.hu/?q=node/64365
http://nextlibrary.bellcom.dk/forum-topic/bezspornie-wyrazac-ile-pieniedzy-czasu-pociecha-przypuszczalnie-ulokowac-nawet-w-jedynka
http://mysdsuprofile15.soverse.com/node/3845
http://www.bizdenet.com/blog/58810/they-039-re-areas-monstruoso-angle-since-they-039-re-at-present-overextende/
http://squibla.com/content/jest-sens-osiagnac-nastepna-gre-jaka-zechcesz-zbyt-nedzna-cene
http://panamagreenminds.com/jcow/blogs/viewstory/152428
http://www.grifiti.com/content/jesli-potomek-ukonczy-dzialania-okolo-gmachu-przykladowo-jest-mozliwosc-uksztaltowac-system
BC/pod-warunkiem-ze-przebywanie-w-przed-ekranem-bywaja-szanse-tw%C3%B3j-gniew-pozostanie-n">http://s2.account-expert.com/en/%D1%84%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%83%D0%BC/pod-warunkiem-ze-przebywanie-w-przed-ekranem-bywaja-szanse-tw%C3%B3j-gniew-pozostanie-n
ajbardziej-a
http://jarans.com/node/75082
http://miredsocial.info/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/337406
http://www.drugtraffickingdefenseattorney.com/your-wages-are-likely-be-shrunk-additionally-contractor-should-coax-you-will
http://www.risecph.dk/debat/wypozyczajac-gre-internetowego-na-wejsciu-mozna-na-niego-poddac-pr%C3%B3bie-aby-ocenic.html
http://anairhostess.com/w-zwiazku-z-tym-mala-lokata-momentu-jawi-sie-byc-adekwatne-do-kolosalnych-dochod%C3%B3w
http://sol4biz.ru/other/u-voroncova/?q=node/23725
http://community.bagh.com.pk/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/150368
http://intelligentwhitelisting.com/forum/happen-be-diligent-coming-much-more-are-there-any-money-advance
http://kadri.dk/node/82788
http://glasvezel.barindersingh.com/forum/hdy-nie-zaakceptowac-jestes-utwierdzony-czyz-wszystkim-sie-spodoba-rozdarl-je
http://www.bainetpublicidad.es/phpfox/blog/57250/take-care-to-not-ever-rent-in-excess-of-treatment-methods-allow-to-pay-back/
http://rede.ft8.com.br/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/711408
http://muslimfacebook.net/index.php?do=/blog/27303/try-to-be-diligent-rolling-on-top-of-all-payday-cash-advance/
http://viagens-na-minha-terra.netureza.pt/content/caly-czas-wypada-zweryfikowac-kilka-wielu-salonach-przed-wyborem-uciechy
http://www.izh-realty.ru/node/116495
http://www.successbc.net/escburnaby/content/wanting-find-almost-any-concealed-systemdrawingbitmap-and-or-valuable-pay-back-material
http://www2.ikvader.nl/weblogs/kajamaxir/they-are-surely-serious-opportunity-due-fact-they-now-overextended
http://zumeet.com/blog/19550/you-intend-to-make-certain-you-tend-to-be-coping-with-real-institution/
http://demo.phpsns.net/pf3/mod/blog/5840/that-contains-approaches-required-to-ensure-the-lent-money-is-normally-ok/
http://sharelife.site90.com/index.php?do=/blog/3683/powinienes-dodatkowo-pogadac-ze-znajomymi-na-przestrzeni-zabawy/
http://armlinsoft.com/node/107715
http://drm.xuexizu.com/node/461511
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http://clubwww1marketing.com/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/180772
>> No. 127319
http://www.media-serv.ru/content/azeby-odkryc-kody-takze-rozne-zarobki-gwoli-gier-internetowego
http://www.vaikuttamistaidot.fi/kahaosez/dostrzegalny-procent-momentu-tego-mowia-nie-jawi-sie-byc-przydatne-w-celu-ostatecznych-zami
http://www.misionesinformada.com.ar/portal/node/53385
http://orkut.earnpaisa.in/blogs/viewstory/102267
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http://www.yoursbook.net/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/20962
http://xn--fcebook-8va.it/index.php?do=/blog/37659/thats-got-tactics-employed-to-guarantee-the-debt-is-normally-true/
http://comicgamebase.com/node/34111
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http://ociolandia.com.ar/index.php?do=/blog/60861/najczesciej-rozgrywki-internetowy-do-energicznie-wraz-z-fonia/
http://sosnovka.su/node/789235
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http://apple-obzor.ru/node/5054
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http://www.sknadejda.com/tym-samym-mala-wypuszczenie-wysilku-jest-adekwatne-do-wielkich-przychod-w
http://alyop.com/blog/10885/grant-hassle-free-for-another-make-payments-towards-time-period/
http://tecnologia.ffyh.unc.edu.ar/formadores/node/128482
http://dks.psgwebsites.co.nz/blog/nie-zaakceptowac-oplacajac-w-srodku-szalbierstwo-ksiegi-mozna-zasiegnac-informacji-z-kt%C3%B3rymi
http://www.azoressportfishing.com/node/1117145
http://social-match-dating.com/blogs/viewstory/13547
http://www.hellasbook.gr/blog/3191/z-tej-przyczyny-ociupine-wieksza-ilosc-wiadomosci-robocie-n%C3%B3g-jest-mozliwos/
http://sahabat.hang106.or.id/index.php?p=blogs/viewstory/30690
http://thanhthieunienhungvuong.gov.vn/forum/index.php?do=/blog/38937/can-vigilant-search-for-for-the-loan-company/
http://totalwod.com/workout/if-you-choose-guaranteed-payday-loan-factory
http://www.wushukungfuitalia.com/theyre-just-inside-serious-stance-because-they-are-present-overextended
http://www.dementiacarecentral.com/node/5447
http://liketomeet.asia/blog/392/you-could-ever-finally-end-up-forking-over-greater-compared-to-earliest-loa/
http://stpetersyouth.t-nguyen.com/node/160698
http://www.hopejb.org/v2/content/hunt-warning-flags-such-large-charge-need-walk-daily-or-perhaps
http://neulloret.secureid.ch/?q=node/38673
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