Discuss fanfiction, get writing advice, or get your story reviewed

Search /fic/ threads

Name  
Email  
Subject  
Message  
File     
Password  (for post and file deletion)

File 130384472061.jpg - (129.64KB , 636x636 , 1300618593082.jpg )
6938 No. 6938
TL;DR - A Choose Your Own Adventure... With Ponies!

Hey fellow bronies! I've been writing a few stories lately and I've noticed just how big the sensual fiction thread has gotten. So, being the attention horsee that I am, I thought to myself "How can I get into this action without exposing myself to the dubious nature of pony lime?" Indeed, what else then a limey story like that using second-person narrative?
And then it hit me.
A choose your own adventure story!

And so I have crafted this tale. Concerning a certain Pony who has hit rough times and is looking for a big break, said Pony will go on a grand adventure with the main (Mane) cast to find fame, fortune and possibly even love (Haf'ta get them limey lovers in here somehow)!

Now, being that I lack cannot for the life of me come up with a method to properly imitate a CYOA book without making hundreds of seperate interlocking pages (And being too lazy to actually bother doing so too) this will instead be less of a "Choose your path" and more of a "Select what progresses the story forward or get a smarmy answer for your duncery." There will, of course, be minor branches but these will be limited, both to keep the story from becoming Dr. Whoofs nightmare in regards to paradoxes but also so that I can regularly update with new chapters; four paths would mean half the writing in twice the time, after all!

The process will work like this; purple prose will break up the story to keep things chugging along while occasional questions will pop up to keep things fresh. Simply match up the question with right answer and you get to go on! Answer wrong and you'll get an earful in early chapters while suffering a terrible fate (With the occasional life-bondage to a hoof-massage fetish-lover, just for you limes) by the climax! The answers will be spoilered to keep prying eyes from seeing them; remember, half the game is reliant on you being trustworthy enough not to peek (Although once you've progressed you should take a look anyways; I worked hard on those wrong answers!).

Also, while questionaires will be kept in seperate posts I would recommned not scrolling too fast: You may ruin the mystery by inadvertently reading the answer in the next text block, after all!

Also, please feel free to comment on the story but bear in mind for other potential adventurers that posting the answers would result in MOST dire of consequences... (Picture Related)

And so, without further adeuie, let us begin!
Unspoiler all text  • Expand all images  • Reveal spoilers
>> No. 6939
File 130384505365.jpg - (22.26KB , 500x500 , 1299024590675.jpg )
6939
You see a bespectacled unicorn lounging in a comfortable old chair, its stuffing held in by various patches that dot its plaid surface. Behind him a fire crackles happily, the occasional pop sounding as an ember lifts lazily, a brief orange spark lighting up the black smoke that meanders its way through the brick-and-mortar chimney. The warm light reveals an old and kindly-looking face, laugh lines carving deep valleys in his visage and his bright, cheerful eyes seem to examine you studiously. He ruffles his orange coat as he shuffles into a different sitting position, one that is more conductive to conversation.

“Ah, hello my good stallion, or perhaps mare?” He chuckles softly. “I’m afraid that these old eyes don’t see quite as well as they use to these days. I take it you’re here to listen to one of my old romps, back from when I was a dashing young pony who gallivanted around the world in the eternal pursuit of adventure and fortune?” he croons, the voice deep and full of wisdom.

You nod your head and mutter “Uh huh.” Perhaps that wasn’t the best way to seem appreciative you muse, but you’re just simply so in awe of that this modern legend is willing to share his… unique… experiences with you that you can’t help but be struck dumb.

“Heh heh, I know that face and don’t worry; I don’t need anything to perform except for an open mind to listen to this old codgers tales and my payment can be your adoring smile as I reweave this ancient tapestry of a tale,” the unicorn explains as he answers your unsaid question in length, each sentence, each word, each syllable seeming to dance forth from his mouth.

“Now then, just give me a second to indulge in my personal sin…” he explains as he levitates a pipe from the armrest of the chair. The unicorn takes a few puffs before blowing an impressively round ring. However, your initial fascination at his parlour trick is easily overshadowed when he gives a great cough and lets loose with a smoky ship that sails gracefully through the ring. “Learned that one from an old friend; Gandhoof, I think, but that’s a story for another time.” He sends the pipe to an ash tray, tapping out a few ashes before placing it back in its resting place. He gives a loud wheeze and admits “Perhaps I should stop doing that one. Does quite a number on my poor, abused lungs.”

He brings up an old tome. It looks like any of the other ones that filled bookstands that lined the walls, barring the fact that it lacked a thick layer of dust; evidently this one still got out and about on occasion. “I think we’ll start with my personal favourite…” he explains as the pages begin to turn, their edges yellowed with age and the corners curled up, possibly by what must have been many hours near the heat of the fireplace. “Now then, before we begin I feel it prudent to inform you that I wasn’t quite as much of a gentlepony when I crafted this particular tale. However, you look like the type who can deal with a bit of crass language and themes of a… questionable nature, correct?” he enquires politely.

You laugh. “Of course, sir. I am no newborn foal.”

“Didn’t doubt you for a second youngling; just the missus gets touchy when I forget to mention it… not that I mind that of course, hah!” he replies with a mischievous glint in his rheumy eyes. “Now then, just give me a second to prep this spell. Strange, isn’t it? I can’t help but feel old when I’m trying to do this, yet as long as I’m telling my epics I can’t help but feel as if I’m back in my prime!” You’re not sure if he’s talking to himself or you, but you have the feeling that your about to find out when his horn begins to glow brightly. Your eyes open in wonder as what looks like miniature fireworks fly off his horn and explode, the entire room filling with bright lights that drown your vision in a plethora of colours, as if somepony had replaced your eyes with kaleidoscopes and hung a disco ball in front of them.

The library fades from sight and, with it, the voice of the kindly unicorn. “Now, just remember that nothing in there can hurt ya’. Even if you make a wrong choice just think back to where it all went pear-shaped and yo.ll. be…. ust….. fi….”
>> No. 6940
As one of the aforementioned limey lovers, I shall be following in the hopes that all paths lead to Dashie :P

I kid, I kid. But seriously, a path better lead to Dashie <.<

Hehehe, anyway, sounds like fun! You have a follower in me.
>> No. 6941
You wake up, as if from a deep slumber, your mind filled with cobwebs and your body wrapped in what seems to be stifling fog. You look around but see nothing except an endless plain of white. You suppose the first thing you should do is to figure out the standard five: Who, What, Where, Why, How.

First things first; find out just what kind of pony you are.

1)You’re a graceful and talented Pegasus Pony, your wings and spirit knowing no boundaries as you glide through the air as easily as a fish would swim through water. The elements themselves bend to your indomitable will as your ply your trade ‘cross the sky, creating roaring winds, pounding rain, freezing sleet or even harnessing the raw power of lightning itself.

2)As an intelligent and ingenious member of the Unicorn race, your magic grants you the finesse and fine manipulation that your brethren’s hooves can’t hope to match. With your powers you can weave spells of the greatest complexity or easily finish the most mundane of tasks, making the work of five other ponies’ foals-play in comparison.

3)You, being a part of the Earth Pony genus, have an almost supernatural understanding as to how the living world works and what you lack in defining characteristics you more then make up for with adaptability and can-do attitude. No matter how complicated the problem you can always be depended on as an Earth Pony to devise the simplest solution.

4)A member of the proud dragon-kin race, your immense strength is equalled by none, as is your pride. With a single beat of your monstrous wings you can summon gale-force winds, your breath hell incarnate on mortal planes, your deadly claws cleaving rock and mineral like a scythe through wheat and when there’s trouble you’re the first to know and the last to remain.

5)There is a reason you humans are the creature at the top of the food chain, a fact you are more then willing to showcase to those who stand in your way. Your hands afford you infinitely more dexterity then a beast’s appendages and, with them, you can construct elaborate and functional machinations; leave it to Homo-Sapiens to make a process many times more convoluted and still be far more effective.


1-A) You look at your sides; nope, no wings. Either you’re not a Pegasus or you’re a terrible excuse for one.

2-B) As you concentrate on the world around you find yourself picking up on the universe’s ley lines. Some of the fog around you lifts, but not enough to actually see where you are. Still, it’s a start.

3-C) Such strength! Such Speed! Endurance, gumption, perseverance and strong moral fibre are all defining points of an Earth Pony. Sadly, you have none of these traits. Try again.

4-D) The question was “find out just what kind of PONY you are”. Really now, are you actually that daft?

5-E) What the hell is a human?
>> No. 6942
Ok this looks interesting soooo.....continue.
If you're gonna make a path, then can you make a path leading to the infinitely superior Fluttershy?
>> No. 6944
Next up; find out if you’re a male or female pony. How should you go about doing this?

1)Listen to what your voice sounds like while at the same time indulging your ego.

2)Check between your legs and examine “the goods”.

3)Look in a mirror and give your vanity a nice pat on the back simultaneously.


1-A) Doing a quick sound test you find that you emit a low baritone from your larynx, its deep chords full of strength and vitality. *Hopefully* you’re a stallion, lest you be a disturbingly butch mare.

B) You lower your head and peek between your legs, before wondering as to why you would bother doing that; what in the world would be between your legs?

C) Were you even listening to the description? There’s nothing but you and the fog, and fog isn’t exactly known for its reflective properties.
>> No. 6945
>>6940
I second a path to the infinitely superior Dashie.
>> No. 6947
Now that you know which gender you are you pause to contemplate as to what your name is. If only there was some sort of marker that denoted what profession or skills you had. Perhaps then you could deduce what your name was based off of the connotations it implied.
Oh well.
What now?

1)Look in your saddle bags; maybe there’s something in there that has your name on it.

2)Peek at your underwear; mayhaps it has your name stitched onto the tag.

3)Shake your booty! Might as well kill some time until you figure out this existential crisis.

4)Do nothing; you’re pretty good at that and sometimes it’s best to stick with what you know.


A) Did I describe you coming into No Ponies Land with saddle bags? No? Then they’re not there. Go back and read the exposition again ........................................................................................................................
...............................................


B) Why would you have underwear on? Only those bizarre fashion models do that. Something like that would only get in the way of your tail anyways. ........................................................................................................................
............................................................


3-C) As you throw your ass in the air like you just don’t care you notice something on your flank… Your cutie mark! You wonder as to how you could possibly forget such an important part of your adolescent development that is, literally, by your side(s) at all times. Now to see what it looks like…

4-D) That’s not going to help anything you lazy son-of-a-buffalo. At least *try* to be a bit more active in your attempts at fixing this conundrum. ........................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................
>> No. 6949
You examine your cutie mark. It appears to be a crude imitation of a compass, with the North arrowhead pointing towards what passes for a coin. Whichever otherworldly deity that deigns to design these diagrams is definitely dubious in their defining details. Oh, also, I believe I haven’t introduced myself yet. Most simply refer to me as “The Narrator”, but you may call me “D”. But I digress, we have a problem at hand, namely the fact that you do not even know what your name is.
How embarrassing.
Perhaps, now that you’ve found your so-called “Cutie Mark”, you’ll be able to answer this self-imposed question.

Several extremely specific names rouse themselves from your memory (Why? Because I said so, as is my privilege of being “The Narrator”, unless you wish to know me by my alternate name “D” ); perhaps one of these is yours? The question is; which is the most befitting of your lodestone-esque cutie mark?

1)Gassy Gales

2)The Great (And Powerful) Trixie!

3)Twilight Sparkle

4)Gold Glitter

5)Dirk Daring

1-A) Firstly, that sounds like it would belong to a Pegasus, which you are not. Also, it is less like a name that would go with a compass as much as it sounds like a cruel title for someone who suffers from a flatulence disorder. Let’s try for something more flattering this time.

2-B) While certainly impressive-sounding and fit for a pony of great skill, “Trixie” sounds very much like a mare’s name and, as we have ascertained, you are not a mare (Hopefully).

C) I can’t work with this. Seriously, Twilight Sparkle? ...................... ................................ .......................................... ..................................................... ...........

D) Hmmm… the name sounds like it would belong to a member of the lesse… *ahem*, cuter sex but it does stir up memories… Ah, yes! Your name is Onyx Origins, professional adventurer and a perfect specimen of stallion-hood to boot!

E) It definitely sounds like a name befitting a brave and adventurous male, but for some indescribable reason you feel as using this name would infringe on somepony else’s rights. Best keep trying.
>> No. 6950
Now that you know what your name is things start to come into focus; you possess a fat-free body composed of rippling muscles, trim yet sturdy figure, rigid jaw line that housed two perfect rows of sparkling white teeth and all complete with a charming personality that wooed the… what do you mean he sounds like a Pony-Stew?

You know what? Fine! Have your “realism”.

You’re a thirty-something male unicorn who’s never even kissed a mare in his life (Even your mother would only let you peck her cheek). Your orange coat is rife with ticks, fleas, and other verminous pests that infest your hair and fester on your skin. What was once a well-cared for mane and tail are now shaggy and uncut with an uncouth and biting personality to match. You went to School, then College, then University, all chasing after some sort of wild dream that you would one day discover hitherto unknown civilizations and uncover fantastical treasures that would make you wealthier beyond your imagination. So far, all that’s kept you going is the same dreams that got you into the mess in the first place. Now destitute, without friend, family, food or even basic freedom after being locked in debtor’s prison, you rot in a jail cell beside murderers, rapists and other unmentionable psychopaths.

You can’t help but wonder where it all went wrong; maybe it was you trading hedge fund stocks with a credit card, borrowing money from that loan shark by putting your house up as collateral, getting a second mortgage on said house when you ended up having to pay back said loan shark, and then forgetting to pay him anyways and having your house razed to the ground to serve as a warning to others.

Also, the fact that the loan shark was your insurance agent and knew the exact day when your coverage ran out didn’t help none either.

Indeed, life as “real” Onyx Origins was a far cry from the considerably more extravagant and talented and successful and handsome and… It’s not working, is it? Fine, back to the prison cell. You were pondering about just how terrible your life was and your awful luck and your horrid physique and just generally how depressing everything was when a most striking mare walked by your cell. You closely examined this diamond that had found its way into the rough, this absolute piece of work, this rare example of a being in her prime. You would even go so far as to call her a… a…
>> No. 6951
“Rarity, my dear,” she proffered, breaking your reverie.

“Er… pardon?” you ask sheepishly.

“My name is Rarity, my dear.” Strange, you think; you would have labelled her as being more of a diamond-in-the-rough. However, upon further thinking you realize that you had already used this particular expository expression and, unable to come up with another suitable descriptor, decide to follow the bread crumbs and go with “Rarity”. Not only that, but she didn’t even give you time to select a painfully obvious answer from a contrived list of dubious dupes that derive derision by depleting your dutiful decisions!

Then the realization hits you like a freight train (Specifically the one that broke your collarbone back in ‘93); this stunning female, both a “Rarity” in name and figure of speech, is talking to you. Summoning up what little charm and class you still possess you inquire as to why she is talking to you.

“Excuse me, Miss Rarity, but I must inquire as to why you’re talking to me.” ‘Damn’ you think; that sounded better in your head.

Apparently though, your aloofness (Or ahoofness, if you must insist on the equine-related puns) is charming and quaint to her and, with a trilling laugh, answers your question. “I have recently come into possession of a map detailing the whereabouts of a possible lost treasure and you happen to be the only pony on this side of the fence that actually has the right credentials to dig it up for me,” she elaborates smoothly.

You briefly contemplate what she means by “this side of the fence”; is she referring the mystical land that bordered Equestria, where the grass grew greener and tasted better? Of course, you’ve talked to those on the other side and they say it isn’t that great, but you’re sure they just want to scare potential interlopers off to hog all the grass to themselves.
Self-centered jerks, the lot of them.
You had already attempted several escapades to cross over the white-picket fence that divided the two lands but had so far been rebuffed at every turn. The only potential weak point was what looked like a gate, but in order to open it you apparently needed something more manipulative then hooves and it seemed to be impervious to magical tampering. Still, perhaps if you used a series of counterweights attached to strings and used them to operate the lever assembly that controlled the gate you “Mr. Onyx” could open it without having “Mr. Onyx!” to somehow rapidly evolve into some grotesque anthromorphic creature “MR. ONYX!”

The one known as Rarity gains your attention again by repeatedly calling out your name. “Dear me, I’m terribly sorry Miss Rarity but I’m afraid I got thinking about a particularly perplexing predicament,” you explain as you chastise yourself for getting caught up in a fruitless endeavour.

She just chuckled lightly at your loss of awareness. “Oh, don’t worry dearie. In fact, that’s exactly why I want your expertise with me on this expedition! According to the scriptures that we have unearthed there are apparently a myriad of traps just waiting to impale, poison, disembowel, stab, slash, behead, ream, flay, skin, strip, burn, drown, crush, smash, smush, break, snap, wrap, squeeze, choke, strangle, hang, lynch, eviscerate, amputate, annihilate, asphyxiate, constipate, delineate, and impregnate intruders!”

Your eye twitches at the last one.

Still, the opportunity to achieve fame and fortune is very, very tempting. You, being a shrewd businesspony as well, know that you first have to ensure your share of the potential profits to be pilfered from the precarious and preposterously protected palace. As such, you prepare to lay the charm on thick.
>> No. 6953
>>6951
Fuck that, fuck her with your horn
>> No. 6954
“Oh god pleasepleaseplease get me out of here! I’ll do anything to help as long as you get me out of this Celestia-forsaken place!” Smooth. Real smooth. She won’t have a choice but to uphold her end of the bargain now if she wants your help.

Rarity shied away at your outburst but quickly regained her composure. “Oh, but of course! You would hardly be of any use to us if you were locked in this dreary and dismal place, after all! In fact, I think I might be going a little nutty here too; the interior designers obviously didn’t know that Gun Metal Black hardly goes with Concrete Grey! So sixties!” You raise an eyebrow at her statement; perhaps you’re not the crazy part of the equation after all.

However, now is not the time to be deconstructing her critical views on fashion; now that you’ve all but guaranteed your future employment (And, more importantly, freedom) you need to discuss payment options. “If I may be so bold, Miss Rarity, I am curious as to how many will be participating in this excavation and how any potential loo… err, treasure, will be divided among your those who assist in your endeavour?” you ask as innocently as possible which, self-admittedly, isn’t very much.

“Oh, we haven’t quite finalized our numbers yet but there should be about eight of us embarking, including you. Treasure will be split evenly should everyone desire that, although I’m sure most of it will be given to Spike, our dragon, and you, as the rest of us are merely interested in the rediscovery of a lost civilization,” comes her reply. You can’t help but let a little slobber form at the corner of your mouth at the thought of not only getting a get-out-of-jail-free card but also getting an all-expenses-paid expedition to find a lost city that could be filled to the brim with unclaimed treasures. “So, Mr. Onyx, do you think you’re up to the task?”

This is the turning point, the cusp of your professional career, a chance to flip your fortunes upside-down and finally fulfill all those foalhood dreams. Sure, there’s always the chance you become the surrogate father for some Nightmare-spawned creature, but the odds of that are quite low, right? All of you have to do is say…

1)Yes!

2)YESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!1111111

3) OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!!!!

4)I would be most honoured to accept this commission and to accompany a fine and upstanding pony like you, Miss Rarity.

END PART 1
>> No. 6957
Hey peeps! Chapter two is in production as we speak and is already coming along nicely. Not only will we be introduced to our first heart-pounding adrenaline-inducing mare-swooning action scene but the story will actually progress somewhere!
That's right!
We'll get somewhere with the story!
AMAZING!
Anyways, keep those comments rolling in; it's a proven scientific fact that the more people that comment and fave my stories the faster they come!
Really! I have the circumstatial and anecdotal evidence to back it up too! http://youtu.be/3HkLMh2C-j4

I'll post the what I've finished of the continuation around 2:30.
>> No. 6960
You want a comment? HERE'S YOUR COMMENT!

I hate it when I'm trying to go to sleep and it's so quiet that I start hearing this annoying ring.
>> No. 6966
File 130384948961.jpg - (45.79KB , 563x610 , 228.jpg )
6966
>>6960
mfw
>> No. 6968
File 130385007093.png - (26.64KB , 945x945 , Fluttershrug.png )
6968
>>6966
What? You don't get that? It only happens when it's completely quiet. Any noise at all makes it stop. It's really annoying.
>> No. 6969
>>6968
ugh, yea that sucks but with me it sounds more like a buzz as if a fly is in my ear
>> No. 6970
File 130385067921.gif - (524.29KB , 366x341 , Derpy approves.gif )
6970
Man this is freaking hilarious! I'm keeping a close watch on this one. Derpy approves
>> No. 6972
>>6968
I have a furnace a few metres from me, our boarders bathroom behind my head, a washing machine and dryer both beside the aforementioned furnace and above me (SPIN CYCLE = WHOSSSSHHHHHH+room shaking) and the water main goes right above me.

Silence is a rare commodity at times in my room XD.
>> No. 6977
>>6970
Thanks ^_^. I'll try to keep up the funny :D.
>> No. 6979
I had no idea what this thing was when I saw it on the page. Whoa, am I glad you recommended it. This is suuw-weet.

I don' t know how you'll pull it all off, but it's definitely cool. It would be perfect for a visual novel implementation, using Ren-py or something.
>> No. 6980
>>6979
Which page did you come from? And if you like it make sure to pass the word around; I'm sure there are many like you who didn't know what they were getting into but didn't take the chance to read my most supleferous story.

I'll pull it off using the best of my abilities, that's how XD.

Erm... Ren-py?
>> No. 6981
Having been released on bond by Miss Rarity you have gathered the only thing that is still in your name; a locked pendant that your dear grandmother gave you when you went to travel the world. You gaze lovingly at it, your hoof caressing its wrought-iron surface. You only wish you had some polish and a clean cloth to clean it with; it’s quite dirty from the time it spent in the prison lockers. Your mind is suddenly brought back to the present when the carriage you and your benefactor are riding in stop suddenly, causing Miss Rarity to yelp in surprise.

Suddenly you were brought back to the present when the… Oh, I already did that, didn’t I? Anyways, the carriage has come to a complete standstill, and Miss Rarity is quite perturbed; this part of the country is known for vagabonds and highway ponies. She soon comes around though and, leaning forward, knocks on the front window, demanding as to why their coachpony has halted their advance. When no answer is forthcoming she gives an annoyed “Harrumph” and, her horn briefly flaring into life, opens the door and walks around to the front; you’re soon to follow her as you here a shocked gasp.

“What seems to be amiss, Miss Rarity?” you ask as you come ‘round the front. At first glance everything seems perfectly normal, but you get the feeling that something isn’t right…

“I am afraid, Mr. Onyx, that our chauffeur is nowhere to be found,” she replies, the anxiety in her voice apparent but so far contained.

“Do not fret Miss Rarity. I am sure he has merely stopped to eat the roses,” you rationalize as you gesture towards a nearby rosebush. Indeed, at their mention the roses rustle lightly. You move in closer to investigate while Miss Rarity retreats a few steps. The question is… whatever could be in those bushes?

1)Your coachpony, returning from his short lunch break.

2) A huge, fire-breathing, can-eat-a-pony-in-one-bite dragon!

3)Waldo, the strangely named pony with a fetish for wearing striped clothing and still being excellent at hiding in plain sight.

4)A wittle itty bitty wabbit. D’awwwwww.


A) You think he would have at least told you that he was going for a snack and he most certainly would have answered when you and Rarity were conversing about him, unless he believes that one shouldn’t talk with their mouth full.

B) It’s a rosebush, dunderhead. I highly doubt a mature dragon could remain undiscovered whilst behind a thorny bouquet of flowers.

C) Waldo hides in PLAIN SIGHT. Obviously, whoever is obscuring themselves behind the bush is NOT in plain sight and, by process of elimination, cannot be Waldo.

D) It IS a wittle itty bitty wabbit. HNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG.
>> No. 6983
And, oh? what is it carrying?
>> No. 7027
>>6983
Huwuh?
STORY PROGRESS UPDATE.
So far I've gotten a thousand words into the first action scene. Plus, the first real split path is forthcoming so hold onto your tails! Allons-Y!
Hopefully I'll have it posted by tomorrow.
Also, according to ED posters I'm infamous depite never posting outside of the TCB thread. Can anypony shed some light on this conundrum?
>> No. 7055
This seems more like a text-based adventure game than a choose-your-own-adventure, but never the less, this is amazing. Please go on.
>> No. 7068
Do. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

...Please?
>> No. 7073
File 130387753013.jpg - (51.02KB , 500x586 , Ben_grimm.jpg )
7073
It's updatin' time! (Pic related)

A teeny tiny teensy timid and toothy bunny hops out of the undergrowth. A red rose petal seems to be stuck between its adorably bulbous teeth, the fluffy white fur tangled up, most likely from crawling through the prickly bush, its tall and pointy ears twitching as it checks the surrounding area for predators. It casts its gaze to you, the amazingly large eyes seeming to drink in every detail. Rarity, her fear having fled her, is cooing at it, trying to entice it into what must be a most tender and warm embrace. For a second you almost wish you could trade places with the lucky thing; perhaps if you cut off its feet…

Then you here groaning.

Your cabbie slowly crawls out of the bush, his body ravaged by claw scratches, purple bruises, and twin bite marks, every subtle movement looking as if it puts him into unbearable agony. He stares at you, his eyes pleading, begging, for you to save him. You can’t help but stand in absolute shock and terror; who knew that rose bushes were so violent?

When the rabbit hops over and bites into his jugular though you realize that it wasn’t the benign bush that beat up your boorish coachpony. Everything clicks into place; that wasn’t a rose petal, it was blood. The fur wasn’t mussed from dragging itself along the dirt but rather a fierce and bloody struggle. The ears weren’t listening for hunters; no, it was making sure there wasn’t any witnesses. It hadn’t been watching you carefully in case you tried to attack, it was sizing you up.

Clever girl.

Rarity screams. She screams and screams and screams until her brain finally runs out of oxygen and does an emergency shutdown. As if her primal cry of terror was a mating call hundreds of hares pop up, surrounding you, Rarity and the carriage (Becuase, as everyone knows, where there's one rabbit there's bound to be fifty more making sweet, sweet bunny love.

Then they come. A tidal wave of tooth, claw and soft, downy fur that tramples anything unlucky enough to be in their way as they stampede towards you, each hoping to draw first blood from the new victims. These are no ordinary rabbits, nay, (neigh) these are the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered rodents that you have ever set your eyes on.

Crapcrapcrap. You better think of something quick before you and your pay-check are consumed by the oncoming horde.
What to do… what to do!?

1) Use your vast repertoire of spells, hexes and charms to beat them off.

2) Try to scare them off with a mighty roar.

3) Ditch the broad and make a take care of numero uno.


1-A) It’s now or never. Horn, don’t fail you now!

2-B) You can barely hear yourself think over the thundering pitter-patter of their puny paws, never mind scare them off with a vocal assertion of your dominance (And I use that in the loosest sense possible) .

3-C) You must be senile or something ‘cause you’re supposed to be saving your skin AND your pay-check’s! (And in case you haven’t figured it out yet due to the forgone conclusion that you’ve got too many rocks in your head, “Miss” Rarity is the figurative pay-check)
>> No. 7074
In case you've been living under one of the rocks in you're head, you should know where I got the rabbits from. However, if you are indeed a cavepony (Yet have an internet connection of all things) then this should clear things up for you - http://youtu.be/XcxKIJTb3Hg

You gather your strength and nerves as you pump raw energy into your horn. It glows with the very essence of the universe, every cell in your body screaming as they’re tapped for even the smallest amount of power. The grass at your feet withers and dies as you absorb its essence to fuel the titanic amount of force you’re preparing to unleash upon the hapless hares.

A great shockwave rends the land; rocks split, ground is torn asunder, trees splinter and explode and the very air around you seems to catch flame and ionize as the rabbits are turned into a perfectly charbroiled appetizers for a dragons buff… oh wait, you wanted “realism”, didn’t you?

Your spell is the equivalent of a particularly energetic fart.
Perhaps “Gusty Gales” would have been a fitting name after all.

Still, all of the build-up seems to have thrown the beastly bunnies for a loop. They stop as one, seemingly waiting for the payoff.

They may have numbers, the element of surprise, massive teeth and a killer instinct but apparently they lack the brains to know when a spell backfires [i](Quite literally, in this case)[/?].

Using the momentary lull you use you horn to telekinetically fling Rarity through the still-open door, close it, and saddle yourself up to the late carriage ponies harness. You take off in a cloud of dust, using your horn to batter away the horrid hares that were blocking the road. Unfortunately they soon realize that they’ve been duped and rapidly resume the raving rampage. You don’t dare look behind you but their little squeaking and tittering warcrys are getting closer.

The chase continues for a solid five minutes, you pulling ahead on the straight-ways and the ravenous rabbits making up for lost time by cutting through the woods at corners. You round a particularly tight corner and start to lose your footing when the cart’s high centre of gravity tips over!
What do?!

A) Using your immense strength, twist around in your harness to right it!

B) Draw upon your reservoir of mana to give the carriage a nudge in the right direction!

C) Brain over brawn; Quickly devise a clever solution to fix this problem!


1-A) Hey, remember when I told you about how strong and capable Earth Ponies are? Yeah, you still aren’t one. Hell, you get tennis elbow just from playing ping-pong, never mind the immense amount of counter-force it would take to twist a shack-on-wheels that is several times you height and weight that already has a head-start on tipping! Should’ve paid more attention in those physic classes…

2-B) ‘Cause, you know, that worked out so well with the rabbits. Well, actually, I suppose it did, but that was a fluke. Are you really so sure that you want to bet on lady luck again when it’s your spine on the line?

3-C) Well, if taking one sharp turn caused the problem…
>> No. 7077
You give the cart a tug in the opposite direction, your quick thinking and use of counter-acting forces righting the cart before it had time to pass the event horizon of cart-tippery! Mentally congratulating yourself on your quick thinking and practical physic skills you find yourself coming up to a split in the path. There are three to choose from except… those dastardly bunnies went and bit through the rope bridge that would have carried you through the middle and obviously safer path!
How inconvenient.
That leaves you with two paths to follow. The right one seems to descend into an overgrown swamp; strange and worrisome warbling cries crawling from its depths and rising into the sky in tandem with the perpetual mist that hangs over it. The left route climbs ever higher into the mountains, the right side hugging the loose and most-likely rock-slide prone wall and the left edge dropping down a steep, sharp and most likely splattering end.

Why in the world did your benefactor choose this route anyways?! It almost seems as if life (Or the narrator) hates you.

Not only do you have to choose between two equally perilous and precarious paths, but you also have to pick quick; those rabid rabbits are gaining on you!



So, which is it?

The left side, with its deadly rock slides and crumbling pathway…

Or the right side, complete with Luna-knows-what monsters that are just waiting to have a meal-on-wheels.

Text your answers to Rain’in BrieCrest at 5318008. Hey there boys and girls at home! Put that into your calculator and watch the magic! (But don’t let your parents know I told you that)

A two-bit texting fee will be billed automatically to your account.

Or, alternatively, leave a comment on this thread as to which one you want to gamble our hero’s life on!

(And remember; choose carefully! This will be the first part where you can actually get yourself killed!)
>> No. 7082
I love CYOAs. This is awesome.
>> No. 7085
>>7077
Go left. I want to die as soon as possible.
>> No. 7092
left for sweet justice and certain doom
>> No. 7093
Right is right.
>> No. 7094
yeah...to the right and payday!
>> No. 7095
yeah...to the right and payday!
>> No. 7096
yeah...to the right and payday!
>> No. 7098
K guys, the next act isn't coming until sometime tommorow. When I wake up I'll be tabulating the votes (Which are currently tied). I myself am adding a couple of points to the cliff because A) I just can and B) There's going to be plenty of creature features later on and I want to have a good mix of hazardous for our intrepid hero to face.
New rules pretaing to "death" will also be posted since we're now entering the second phase of the story. Choose wisely...
First person to name that line gets a x2 vote!
>> No. 7100
Alright well if it doesn't hold anything up then definitely right.
>> No. 7128
Right
>> No. 7132
So you're going with either unstable terrain (left). Cons: You barely managed to live with the sharp turn on stable road. Anyone who's driven on a mountain path knows that the first time is scary as shit.
Pros: With a little creative timing (and maybe another gassy spell), you could landslide their fluffy white asses.
Or swamplands (right).
Cons: Swamplands/marshes virtually eat anything with wheels (which is kind of your only means of escape atm).
Pros: The bunnies may get stuck too (plus Rarity's reaction to mud would be hilarious) and then something would eat them. Semi con: That thing may eat you as well. Or have friends.

Swamplands (w/ current party): Cons: Rarity would complain all the way.
Pros: possibly build some romantic tension via carrying her and idly chatting (if you go that way).
Mountains (w/ current party): Cons: She could wake up before you're in position, scream loudly at the legion of bunnies, set off a rockslide, and get you all killed.
Pros: Provided you can get her attention before panic sets in, the con could turn into a pro. Or you could get the attention of a pissy dragon (you know, what with the whole mountain-as-the-only-house-I-fit-in thing they typically have) and get some of that hell incarnate action going. This could backfire into an awesome (albeit gruesome) death if mistimed or something.

Let's roll to the left. I wanna see how the mountain thing pans out.
>> No. 7133
File 130391112482.png - (287.64KB , 900x1295 , 1298124093267.png )
7133
>mountain pass
>> No. 7134
Left.
>> No. 7137
>>7132

Wow, someone who actually took the time to weigh all of options and their detractors!?
I think I'm in love.
But I digress:

Sorry swamp lovers, looks like we're taking the rocky road. I'll start on the new act first chance I get. FYI it may be a bit before I can post it due to extentiating circumstances but it should be up no later than tommorow.

Now then, before we begin we have to go over the ground rules.Firstly I would like it if everyone adopted a per/ponysona. This will A) Make things a bit more intimate, B) Hopefully will make it easier to pick out multi-posters (This sort of thing would never work on B or CO due to trolls but you bronies are ice cool so I'm trusting you guys not to change your names to get your way) and C) for a little game I'm planning.

You see, up until this point I've been easy on you guys: choose poorly and you just got an earful. The honeymoon is over now though which means bad decisions WILL get you "killed". So, from now on, if you make the wrong choice and die I want you to post which question it was, what answer you chose and to declare to the world "I LOST THE GAME!" (Bitter tears are up to your discretion). Obviously you can continue but make sure to let everypony know that you are a dismal failure (Oh, and finish all the story posts and do all "deaths" in a single post: no need to sage this thing early). At the end of a chapter (I'll tell you when each one is done), if you want, you can also post the total number of times you died, just for kicks. Since I can't offer full freedom for the plot's sake we'll have some community-based fun.

"But wait!" you cry out. "How will we answer your ridiculous riddles?" Quite simple my dear Watson. As you have no doubt noticed I have, for the most part, offered everything you would need to answer a question in the exposition. All you must do is read between the lines and the answer should become apparent.
-Happy hunting!
>> No. 7139
>>7137
Ponysona get!
>> No. 7140
I'm in sir!
>> No. 7143
ok I'm in
>> No. 7144
This is great guys. It's to see all of you so eager to make this work... *Sniff* I think I've got something in my eye.

K, so bad news first. Unexpected housework cropped up so there may not be quite as much done as I originally hoped but don't take that the same as me saying that it's at a standstill. There shall be adventure yet!
Also, personal favour bronies, but unless the thread has fallen to the next page or is about to do you wanna do sage posts instead? Tryin' to stave off the autosage.
>> No. 7156
File 130392594349.jpg - (25.14KB , 399x277 , Shit just got real_.jpg )
7156
>>7137

I will know take on the persona known as.... FINGERTHING! This will be my perma name on ponychan now, you just gave me a reason to come out of hiding! But.... does there have to be perma-death? Can't we respawn at the end of the chapter? Pwetty pwease?
>> No. 7159
>>7156
Have no fear. "Death" is NOT permanant. You still get to vote and contribute. I just want to have some fun with you guys. The votes only determine paths; the community can't end the story early by sucking too hard.
>> No. 7171
BTW, did you know you are on equestria daily?

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/choose-your-own-adventure-pony-style.html
>> No. 7172
Oh, you made a comment on it... Ignore the above and this.... >_>
>> No. 7173
File 130393420115.jpg - (98.96KB , 500x640 , skate-or-die.jpg )
7173
Hey bronies! Now, I've only got a little update but something is better then nothing, right?
RIGHT?
However, this one is a very special update in the fact that you can now DIE (Dun dun dunnnn). In order to dispel any confusion as to how the "death" system works I'll give another short primer on it.
If you live; great! Go on to the next piece of story (If it's been posted yet). However, should you meet an untimely end fret not, for you can still vote, contribute and toherwise take part in the festivities. All you must do is announce in a most embarresing of posts that "I HAVE LOST TEH GAEM" or something to that effect (Since some game-over scenarios do not involve death but will prematurely finish the our hero's campaign nevertheless).
Also, should you feel oblidged, you can also post which question and which answer you chose (But please, for the love of Celestia, spoiler it if you're going to do that! ) Furthermore, at the end of the chapter feel free to lament about the total number of times that you lost your lousy life in the course of navigating that chapter. This is, of course, entirely optional but is intended to help drive the community spirit with you ponies being able to console each other over their miserable failures.

However, just because you've picked the option that MAY kill you doesn't necessarily mean that you're actually dead (Yet). Sometimes you will be told there is still an off-chance for you to save your skin. This will be entirely reliant on, again, the trust system. If you pick the wrong question but happen to find that your fate isn't sealed follow the instructions.

I shall give a test "Death" question to demonstrate the system.

You come up to a boiling vat of caustic acid. What do you do with it?

A) Hug the walls and manuever your way around it.

B) Walk past it.

C) Take a swim.

With answer A you would survive without a scratch. Answer C and you die on the spot, in which case you would make a post saying something to the effect of "I, (Insert name of brony here) died, on the poison tub question by using it as a bathtub." Obviously that is very dry for this thread and i would advise trying to be a tad smarter about it but not everypony is blessed with my silver tongue.

Now, if you choose to walk past it you would get the result of "The boiling acid spits out at you! Flip a coin to see if you dodge a caustic cremation! Heads, you live, tails, you DIE." Then, depending on whether you live or die go to the next two answers, which will be simply labelled as LIFE or DEATH and read the results. If you live then you succesfully avoided a premature death and if you die then the results are essentially the same as if you had gone for a few laps in it.

Remember; I shall try to the best extent of my skills to give you any required hints in the exposition but you should also make sure to read all of the answers once you've succesfully completed an action to see if there are any other interesting and useful tidbits.

Not serious questions may not have clues but then again they don't have lasting effects so don't sweat it; they're for entertainments sake only.
>> No. 7174
Name get for this game.

I like this story so far, wonder how it turns out.
>> No. 7176
File 130393507651.jpg - (76.12KB , 400x400 , My_Apocalypse_Pony__DEATH_by_DAVEAC1117.jpg )
7176
A few more notes on death-question clues!
There will often be a throw-away answer that, while not accomplishing anything, also won't get you killed. These will most likely have a clue in them so it might be a good idea to seek these ones out first. It'll be up to you to discern how it's referencing the answer though...

Anyways, enough prattle! You guys wants action? I'LL GIVE YA' ACTION.


You weigh your options; descend into the tepid fen and risk getting your wheels stuck in the doubtlessly muddy mire of misery as well as face off against creepy creatures with claws covered in corrosive toxins, or climb to the heavens along the surely slippery sloped stones whilst braving the bowling boulders that are trying to break your back?

Of course, what’s difficult for you is hopefully worse for the braying bunnies that are right on your hooves, too.

You pull left to ascend the mountain pass, hoping that the steep incline and lack of concealing vegetation will make the ravenous rabbits think twice about pursuing you. Indeed, as you round a bend you catch a glimpse of the assembled animals, some of which seem to have broken off the pursuit due to the lack of lemming in their heritage, but there is still a sizable force chasing you down.

You take another turn and the rodents are briefly lost to sight. This part of the path is quite narrow but, fortunately, the stagecoach that you’re hauling was designed for speed, manoeuvrability, and light weight. In fact, it isn’t much wider then you are, being designed to transport only two passengers in moderate comfort. Still, you’ll need to keep an eye on the path ahead; what is room for you may not be as conductive to the cart.

Your thoughts, preoccupied with the braying bunnies and whether this carriage makes your butt look big, are interrupted when your hoof hits a particularly weak section of stone. You whinny is surprise and fear as some of the cliff gives way under you but, in a stroke of luck, the mountain waits patiently for the wheels to finish the job as a huge slab of rock falls into the abyss below. You keep running, hoping against hope that the path ahead of you will be of a more stable nature. In the background you hear the fearful cries of the hares. You steal a look behind you to see some of them falling off the cliff where the road had collapsed! They must have been so tightly packed that the ones in front couldn’t stop in time and the rabbits making up the vanguard weren’t able to see their impending doom!

If you were an illusionist unicorn you would have conjured a candle stick above your head at that point.

Perhaps you can thin out the pack by causing a few more “accidents” on the road. After all, the only good bunny is a dead bunny.
The question is though, how will you go about murdering these adorable and vicious rabbits?

1) Unhitch yourself and buck away at the mountain slide; you might just be able to trigger a rockslide.

2) Release yourself from your harness and stomp on the edge to make the road narrow again.

3) Use a magic burst to rip the path apart!


1-A) Keeping your eyes peeled, you find a promising spot where a natural crack has been formed by water and ice erosion. Bringing the stagecoach to a stop just beyond it, you unhitch from the bridle and buck at the mountain face a few times. You’re rewarded with a satisfying crack as a split travels up the side and, wasting no time, quickly reattach yourself and take off, leaving a great landslide in your wake! Eat dust, bunnies! ………………. ………………………….. …………………………….. ……………………………………. ………………………….. …………………..

2-B) A large chunk of rock beneath you shifts and, figuring that you can try the same trick again, detach yourself and furiously pound away at it. You smile widely as it begins to crumble. However, something seems wrong… Ah, of course! Remember when you were travelling over the first one? Specifically the fact that you passed it relatively quickly, you know, BEFORE it fell?
Well, you’re still standing on this one, buster.
Panicking you tense your legs for a mighty leap! However, your muscles are worn and tired from the frantic pace you’ve been running at and it seems more likely that your luck is going to determine your fate as opposed to your strength. Flip a coin; heads, you make it back safely, tails… well, it’s been fun. (If you make it read LIFE, if you die examine your obituary at DEATH)


3-C) Between your upset stomach from expelling that breakfast burrito and your weary body, you don’t think you have it in you to cast any spells right now. Still, you better buck up or else them varmints are gonna’ git you with them buck teeth! …………………………….. ……………………….. ………………………….. ……………….. ……………. ……………… ……………….. ………………. …………………. …………………………… ……………………….. ……………. ……………………. …………………… ……………………… …………….

LIFE) You just barely manage to jump to safety! As the road behind you once again falls apart you get yourself back into the hitch and take off.

DEATH) Down you go, your limbs flailing to-and-fro, where you’ll stop nopony knows… Except your good friend Death, of course. You’ll most likely be quite acquainted with him by the time this is done.


BTW in case any of you are wondering why some of the questions have a freight train of periods following them that's due to the fact that I'm trying to hide shorter answers.
>> No. 7178
Eh, I'll stick with the same name I had with the pro/con thing. (Special power: observation)

Side note, I lived through picking the correct Alphabetical Letter. (also, I don't know how to do the spoiler thing).

Lastly, placehoofherebro.jpg because this is sweeet.
>> No. 7182
File 130393906335.jpg - (32.66KB , 500x316 , 9b0419bd-0a1b-4e5b-a93d-c5ae15aae6e0.jpg )
7182
>>7178
Cool wit' me bro ^_^.

Can't believe i fogot got that.
HEY, EVREYPONY. LOOK AT MEH. To do a barrel roll... er, to do a spoiler tag just simply do this at the begining of what you want to spoiler [?=] and this at the end [/?=] but without the equal signs.
Also, replace the question mark with a b for bold, i [i]for italic[i/], s for strike-through and, as already explained, ? for spoilers!
You can find out other cool stuff on the FAQ page so make sure to check it out- it'll make life here way easier!
>> No. 7184
File 130393918716.jpg - (108.08KB , 700x500 , 563yb6yub45gy64.jpg )
7184
>>7176
HAHAHA!!! DESTRUCTOCUS CRUSH PUNY BUNNIES!!!! NO ONE STOP DESTRUCTOCUS!!!!!!!
>> No. 7187
>>7184
Made me lol :D. I like how your name suddenly became relevant. Aren't you glad that I force... er... suggested you guys make a name?
>> No. 7199
Found this on EqD, is it cool if I join in at this stage?

I ended up having to flip a coin and flipped correctly, lucky me. Both options seemed equally deadly at first. Hope I'm not spoiling anything. As for a name......let's see. Not very creative so I'll just use this for now. Looking forward to following along!
>> No. 7204
>>7199
The more the merrier. Invite your friends too!
I was a little worried about that one. I hope the clues weren't too obscure and remember to check for the throw-away answer's clues too!

Hopefully people aren't looking too closely to your post >_>. Make sure to use spoilers when talking about sensative information.

Meh, moose are a Canadian animal and anything Canadian is great in my books ^_^.
>> No. 7217
>>7204
Wasn't sure the reference would carry over eh?

For future reference, what portion should I be spoilering of my post? Which part was particularly sensitive? Looking forward to surviving till the end.
>> No. 7219
File 130395131020.jpg - (141.31KB , 1069x1097 , 1265317610177.jpg )
7219
Well, as long as this is still open I'd like to try my han-hoof, I said hoof.

Now, if I'm doing this right Which is possible, though unlikely., then I got the correct option. I define 'correct' as not suffering a miserable yet slightly humorous demise.

As for a name...I couldn't decide on a good one. So I plucked a random image from my image folder and used it as inspiration. I hope it works.
>> No. 7225
>>7219
The story is always open to new-comers. There is no limit to the game (At least, until we auto-sage; remember to put sage into the email field on your reply if the thread is at or near the top of the board so we dont waste bumps).

Another Canadian, eh? Let us gather our beavers and sleep in an igloo! My brother loves those lumberjack commandos and their beer-can snipers.

>>7217
You should be spoilering anything that has to do with the specifics of an answer. By saying "Both options seem deadly" I might be able to draw the conclusion that the magic one isn't a killing answer, for example. Also, when you post up which answer kills you make sure to spoiler that too (So when you say "I chose answer 2-B and failed the flip so I died" make sure to spoiler that)
>> No. 7232
...There's so much win in this thread it hurts a bit.
>> No. 7243
File 130395727484.jpg - (45.67KB , 522x364 , brilliant1.jpg )
7243
Grez want to play!
I ended up flipping a coin anyways, because I couldn't decide between 1 and 2. I got 1, thank Luna!
Great job so far, mate!
>> No. 7252
>>7225
But the magic is just as deadly! What could possibly go wrong kicking the mountain? That seems like the joke response to me. You'd fart and propel yourself to a gruesome death.
>> No. 7261
>>7243
Thanks ^_^.
I suppose I should be writing the story rather then making meaningless replies though. To the Pink cave!
>> No. 7303
Didn't have to flip a coin ^^.

Now, ONWARDS!
>> No. 7308
The title is a bit of a misnomer unfortunetly. In nearly 2hrs. I barely cleared 1000 words, none of which were particularly inspired. Just can't get the funny going.
So, in order to give you ponies something to think about here's a new poll! Would you like the story to have "Limey" bits like the sensual story thread? I'd like to attract some of those ponies into here to bolster our numbers but I myself don't particularly enjoy those stories so I'm leaving the choice up to you.
Do you want limey shippery?
>> No. 7321
>>7308
>limy shipping

>hoping I got the sage thing right

Anyway, how about choose your own adventure styled limy shipping? (along side/inside the story already happening) it doesn't need to be "serious", hell have it follow the tongue in cheek style you've already establishedbonus points for having all of Raritys responses being some variation of "no" only if you feel like doing it of course.
>> No. 7328
ill jump in too, [never did spoiler before/] [not sure which it is] so the test might conclude. btw if i found this sooner, i would go straight, with failed attempt at magic to levitate or teleport across gap
>> No. 7331
ok i got it now i think yay??
>> No. 7332
The shipping could be a sub-plot or something, I'm a bit more interested in the action though it's really up to you. And man I hope this worked.
>> No. 7337
>>7225

Heh, I love the noble beaver and wouldn't mind hanging out in an igloo I hear they're surprisingly cosy but sadly I'm not Canadian. Just found the picture, laughed, and used the name.

As for the shipping or limey question, I shall respond with a resounding Meh.

I mean, I'll read a shipping story every now and then, but it's never been my particular...niche let's say. Although, I wouldn't be opposed to seeing it pop up in the story, so long as it makes sense.

Oh, and in case you can't tell, I like using these spoiler tags. They don't have these over at /tg/.
>> No. 7374
>>7332
Sage has to go in email field watcher.
I'm going to put in minor limey bits but our hero is going to be too preoccupied saving himself to see the... deeper meaning of their affections. I don' want him to be a stu so I've got to make him oblivious.
Anyways after a good sleep I think I'm ready to write again so hopefully we'll get somewhere.
>> No. 7391
>>7308
I'm not really one for limey stories, but you could instead make each and every romance path (Rarity, Fluttershy, a rock) end in failure with each pony not being interested for one reason or another. I would definitely keep up the comedy theme.
>> No. 7392
>>7391
Whoops. I meant to sage but forgot to get ride of noko.
>> No. 7421
Right, so the filler is coming along but while it works as a story its still not funny. However I'm almost back to the action so hopfully I'll be able to get things in gear there. Also, which is better? The Carousel Boutique or Sugarcube Corner?
>> No. 7425
>>7421
DESTRUCTOCUS LIKE PRETTY DRESSES!!!!! DESTRUCTOCUS PICK CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE!!!!!
>> No. 7431
Nothing too exciting in this portion. Still, it helps establish Onyx's character and gives a bit more life to Rarity. I promise we'll be getting to back to the adventure soon!

Also, I'd like a song to set the next action scene to. Something like this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nJOY0P84v4
But more awesome and banjo if at all possible.

Having successfully delayed the rabbits you slow down to from a gallop to a brisk canter, hoping to catch your breath before you collapse in exhaustion. You aren’t exactly sure how high you’ve climbed in the last few minutes but it must have been quite a fair bit; the air is starting to get a bit thinner and the temperature is noticeably cooler. Little wisps of fog form and dissipate from your ragged breaths, your legs aching from all of the running and you’re worried that you may have sprained something in when you were attacking the rocks. However, now isn’t the time to be thinking about how much pain you’re in but rather how much you’ll suffer if and when those hares catch you.

The pass is starting to get fairly uneven and you find yourself silently thanking whichever unicorn that invented shock-absorption spells as the cart rocks and back forth. Indeed, if it weren’t for the minor levitation spells that were cast upon the coach you doubt you would have even gotten this far, never mind getting the carriage up and over the large stones that littered the path.

The cart gets stuck on a particularly large rock and, with a great heave, you pull it loose. In addition to getting the cart moving again you hear Rarity wake up as she’s jostled around in the cabin. With an indignant and pompous shout she demands “Just what is going on out there?” You peek back to see her pressing her muzzle to the front window, her suddenly wide eyes making your day just a little more bearable.

“We are currently climbing this mountain pass on account of the main path’s bridge being destroyed, Miss Rarity,” you answer blandly, your voice and the amount of weariness it holds surprising even you.

“Oh dear…” comes her reluctant reply.

“What seems to be the problem Miss Rarity?”

“It’s just… well... I’m afraid of heights…”

“And why would that be, Miss Rarity?” you press.

She gives a forlorn sigh. “Well, one time a dear friend of mine was quite upset about an upcoming competition…” she began. You listen in dutifully, her sweet and melodic voice helping to take your mind off the aches and pains that wrack your body. She explains to you how a pegasus who goes by “Rainbow Dash” had gone to a flight competition in Cloudsdale. Apparently she had been so anxious and stressed that Rarity herself had suggested to her unicorn friend Twilight Sparkle that they find some way to join her and offer their support. While she was only able to give Rarity a pair of magic wings Twilight and her other friends had made use of a special spell that let the walk on the clouds.

“Oh, I was such a terrible friend that day. I basked in the adorations of the drooling masses while at the same time covering the reason I had gone in the first place with my shadow…”

“So far it sounds like you quite enjoyed being able to fly, Miss Rarity,” you point out.

“Oh yes! For that brief time it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life! However, it was when I decided to enter the competition that things went sour. At first it seemed as if I was a horseshoe-in for first place while poor Dashie chocked. However, I had forgotten the most important part of my wings; don’t let them get too hot!”

“Ahhh, so they burned up like Kickarus’s famous wings, correct?” you enquire.

“Oh, it was dreadful! I had just flown into the eternal blue, catching the sun just so, and through my wings did a most magnificent and stylish light shine down on my clamouring fans. However, I had flown up so high that the sun’s heat caused them to evaporate into nothing more then ashes!”

You crest the mountain finally, breathing a sigh of relief as you see a level and mostly-clear pathway run some ways into the distance; just how long is this mountain pass anyways? However, you’re still glad for this brief boon to let you recover from the ascent. Pausing for a second you hazard a guess with “And I take it that’s when you suddenly discovered your new phobia?”

“Unfortunately. Luckily for me though Dash managed to gather her wits and come to my rescue! Not only did she rescue me and the three Wonderbolts who had fallen with me…”

Now you’re confused. “Why in the world would thunderbolts need to be rescued? I thought they were the best fliers in Equestria!”

She shoots you a look, the kind that says ‘Don’t go there if you know what’s good for you, young man’.

Your mother gave you that look all the time too.

“*Ahem*” she coughed loudly. “Anyways, as I was saying, not only did she save all of us from becoming pony pancakes she even managed to perform a Sonic Rainboom!”

“Err… a Chronic-whatnow?” you ask, your face a mask of confusion.

“Oh, you poor thing. You really don’t get out much, do you?”

“Well, yes, that’s the whole point of prison…” comes your awkward answer.

She gasps as she realizes that she’s just stumbled into a conversational nightmare. “Please forgive me Mr. Onyx. I meant nothing by my careless remark…”

“Perish the thought, Miss Rarity, I won’t hold it against you,” you respond dismissively.

“Oh, but I can hardly…”

You interrupt her by asking “So, you were talking about this ‘Sonic Vanebroom’ thing.”

Fortunately she’s quick on the upswing and latches onto the old topic like a drowning pony would a lifeboat. “No dear, a Sonic Rainboom, a legendary stunt where a pegasus flies so fast that they break some sort of wall or something and create a most splendiferous rainbow shockwave! Believe me when I tell you that there’s nothing quite like it. Why, after seeing such a magnificent and enchanting spectacle I started work on an entirely new line of dresses, not that any of them can really compare to their inspiration, of course.” She gives a wistful sigh to complement this statement.

“Your friend sounds like quite the accomplished flier,” you comment. Perhaps if you’re lucky enough to get off this mountain you’ll be able to see this spectacle yourself.

“Oh, undoubtedly. Although, the strangest part about that entire ordeal is that she is the last pony you would ever expect to make such a beautiful and striking...” She stops when you abruptly collapse to the ground, your weariness finally catching up to your body.

“Oh, goodness! Is something the matter Mr. Onyx?” she asks with complete sincerity.

You grunt as you try to lift your body back up off the dirt, only to fall back down again. “Ju… Just give me a second to re... rest, Lady Rarity…” you wheeze.

A concerned gasp bursts from her as realization dawns on her face. “You pulled me AND this carriage all the way up here when our…” She paused for a second in silent reverence to the deceased cabbie before continuing on. “I owe you my life, Mr. Onyx. Please, allow me to tend to you.” You try to shake your head but can barely even move your eyes from side to side. Giving up you realize that right now if you don’t get some real rest you may not even make it off this mountain. The bridle and hitch lift off your back as Rarity raises them with her magic. The excess weight now gone you manage to get up shakily to your feet, although you nearly collapse again, only to be saved from another disgraceful fall when Rarity rushes out of the coach to provide support.

She takes you over to a small patch of grass, the blades of vegetation far from comfortable but still seem like a miracle of providence in comparison to the hard and unforgiving dirt trail. “Miss Rarity, we can’t take a break now. Those beasts could be coming around the corner at any moment…”
>> No. 7432
Cont. (Went past character limit)

“Firstly, you won’t be doing either of us any favours gallivanting around in your current condition and, secondly, please just call me Rarity; I think saving my life is more then enough of a reason to drop any contrived suffixes.” She says as she admonishes your recklessness.

“I suppose I am in no position to deny that,” you concede. “However, if I can’t call you Miss Rarity then you need to stop calling me Mr. Onyx.”

She taps her chin with a hoof in thought before agreeing. “I suppose I can concede to those terms…” You shiver a little, the wind suddenly picking up and biting into your coat. “Dear me, it is quite frosty up here, isn’t it? I’d tell you to wait there while I fetch some more fitting outerwear but…” she pauses to giggle “…I highly doubt that you will be moving anywhere for the time being.”

Your rolling eyes serve as your reply, but she had already departed back to the carriage. She soon returns, now carrying a pair of feather-down vests, a large box and what looks like ball-bearings. You raise your eyebrows in a quizzical expression as you ask “What are those for?” You gesture to the spheres in question.

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough…” Rarity answers cryptically. She slips one of the vests onto herself while proffering the other to you. You put it on, your skin instantly feeling warmer from the soft touch of the insulating feathers; you can’t say that you’re quite as much a fan of the baby-blue colouration though. She notices your apparent distaste for the clothing and admits “I’m afraid that I didn’t pack anything that would really match your… unique blend,” as she gestures to your orange coat and jet-black mane and tail. While you’re far from a being a fashion pony you do note that her purple and pink vest go quite well with her spiralled violet mane and lily-white fur.

Noticing your eyes examining her, she does a little twirl to give you a more complete look. “Ah, do you like what you see, Onyx?” she inquires as she does so. You give a nod as you take a muzzle-full of grass and chew it thoughtfully. It’s bland and dry but your churning stomach demands something, anything, to fill it. Rarity ends her impromptu fashion show when she notices you eating the hardy plants. “Gracious, no! We can’t have you eating such poor tasting and nutrition-less drek as that! Come on now, spit it out!” You give the unicorn a confused look, which she returns with a steely gaze. “I. Said. Spit. It. Out.” Her teeth grind and, deciding that you would rather not find out what she was capable of when she was angry, dutifully expel it.

Her scornful visage immediately brightens up again. “Much better,” she croons. “Now, have some real food.” With that said she opens up the box and removes a couple of apples and a bushel of carrots. Most of the fruit’n’veg is placed before you while she daintily takes a nibble out of a carrot. When you ask her about the disproportionate serving sizes she merely replies with “I’m not the one who’s been outrunning a pack of wild animals while climbing to a mountain’s summit.” You give up any reservations in light of her irrefutable logic and hungrily dig into an apple.
>> No. 7437
File 130401870269.jpg - (53.80KB , 400x400 , 1289072447421.jpg )
7437
>>7432
>>7431
>> No. 7439
>>7437
Really moose? Really?
I haven't even gotten to the actual part where she gives him a massage and you're already jackin' off?
Son, i am dissapoint.
>> No. 7443
>>7431
Please, god. Don't allow this to become a clop fic. Oh god. You may have them become friends, maybe even have a small spark. But... just remember what made the story so great.
>> No. 7446
>>7443

Oddly enough, I second this sentiment. Sparks are quite nice but I humbly ask that he doesn't get burned...
>> No. 7449
File 130402377068.png - (68.96KB , 575x551 , 1284883930370.png )
7449
>>7443

Hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Light said lime, not lemon. If it ever gets to the clopping point, it'll probably just fade to black or something.

And now you know.
>> No. 7463
>>7449

Sweet, we'll try and keep it in the lime zone so this doesn't happen. 8D
ETA on the next story bit? o .o
>> No. 7466
No lemon peeps, don't worry. Like I said I don't even particularly enjoy lime but any lime'n I do will be directly related to the story. Onyx is gonna' get a massage and be refreshed for the inevitable chase down the mountain, not just cause I want moose to enjoy a limbido.
To be honest I'm going to come out and say that me making this a bit limey is me being an inept writer; I don't really know how to make them seem close without delving a little bit into this stuff. As you may have noticed our hero doesn't really like to express himself and is full of self-doubt. The point of him getting aquainted with the main cast is to make him a bit more lively while still retaining that fatalism we all know and love.

Sorry guys, might be a bit before the next part again. My mom is a bitch and it's difficult to get enough time to actually write anything. Most of my posts are done over wi-fi with my PSP (God on-screen keyboards are SLOOOWWWWW).
>> No. 7496
File 130403442129.jpg - (21.30KB , 305x293 , 197168_1456258026992_1849593630_823132_7677289_n.jpg )
7496
take you time, actually enjoying so
>> No. 7516
File 130404449711.jpg - (58.53KB , 750x600 , H174.jpg )
7516
Hopefully everyone has seen the new bits.
If not, pic related.
>> No. 7531
File 130404710020.jpg - (57.34KB , 500x448 , 1290049157307.jpg )
7531
>Onyx is gonna' get a massage and be refreshed for the inevitable chase down the mountain, not just cause I want moose to enjoy a limbido.

>>7439
I haven't even BEGUN to whack off yet.
No literally, I haven't started fapping yet and I don't exactly expect myself to. Rarity is mai poni waifu though, and all the love and tenderness she's doling out on Onyx here is making me HHNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH like a mofo.

Thanks for thinking of me though. Oh, and pic related.
[spoiler]Let's hope I don't get another error when posting
>> No. 7536
File 130404834318.png - (162.56KB , 438x523 , Twilight spit take.png )
7536
>>7466
>PSP
>mfw I read that
By... By Celestia's mane!
You're using a PSP?! I remember that keyboard! The loss of that confounded keyboard was one of the few positives when mine fell in the water.
You must have the patience of Luna for you to write such fantastically lengthy... let's call them entries, shall we?
I tip my hat to you once again, good sir!
you didn't see the first one. It was an invisible hat.
>> No. 7540
>>7536
Alas, I'm not that epic. All of the story posts are done in MS Word,copy, pasted, have nessecary tags like spoilers attached and then posted. The PSP can only handle afew hundered characters in a single post. Longer ones I use my DS for with the stylus keyboard. This message was done with my PSP. I don't have free access to a internet enabled PC so my handhelds suffice.
>> No. 7552
>>7540
Still, to do all this on such handheld devices, even if it's just uploading from them would require a calm and patience that most I do not have.
>> No. 7554
It can be tedious, yes. Nothing irks more then when I hit the character limit midsentance on something important or when I acidentally hit the cancel button (Which is beside the spacebar on the DS) and lose everything.
I have at least 1300 words to post tomorrow, complete with a TWO different deaths in a single question.
Shit be getting real, yo.
Hopefully the upcoming change of scenery to Ponyville will reinvigorate my flame. I haven't been feeling the magic lately...
>> No. 7555
It can be tedious, yes. Nothing irks more then when I hit the character limit midsentance on something important or when I acidentally hit the cancel button (Which is beside the spacebar on the DS) and lose everything.
I have at least 1300 words to post tomorrow, complete with a TWO different deaths in a single question.
Shit be getting real, yo.
Hopefully the upcoming change of scenery to Ponyville will reinvigorate my flame. I haven't been feeling the magic lately...
>> No. 7558
>>7554
>>7555
Or when stuff like that happens?
I hope you get back Da Magicks soon, I can't wait to see more!
>> No. 7597
>>7558
Yeah, that's annoying too.
Hopefully I'll have the better part of the day to work on this. I'll post the newest chunk first chance I get.
>> No. 7679
Sorry it's taking so long fellow bronies. Don't have a way to post current update and after this one the next may take a bit. I tried to switch gears and do an April friendoff story but it sucks too. Figure I'm gonna' slog through this chapter and take a brief hiatus to recharge. No longer than a week hopefully, probably less.
Anyways peace and friendship out homies.
>> No. 7683
File 130412423353.jpg - (55.33KB , 450x450 , fafnir-ball-bearing.jpg )
7683
Before you get into this one I'd like you to keep in mind that I'm trying to help you help me help us all. Therefore, please feel free to critique me on the route the story is going and, most importantly, whether you think I'm being fair with the death scenes. This one's pretty brutal.

You’re about half-way done the second apple when your back-left leg suddenly feels like it’s had a knife shoved into it. Gritting your teeth you twist around to see Rarity pressing one of those ball bearings into your haunch. “Just relax, dear. It’ll make this easier on both of us…” she commands as she starts rolling the ball around.

You respond with a pained snort that quickly devolves into a content sigh as the tense and tight muscles that the ball is rolling over relax. “See, now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?” You’re about to nod when she shoves another of the bearings into your leg. “This one, on the other hoof…” she adds as your leg struggles to escape the pain, only to be held down by her magic. Soon the leg’s thrashes subside, leaving only a feeling of placidity. You take the chance to gobble down a carrot before Rarity’s attention turns to the next leg. The process continues until she’s gone over every major muscle in your body, each one a new kind of agony that somehow seems right. At this point your entire body feels limber and ready for action as you note the remarkable difference that the massage has bestowed upon you. Not only that, but the fresh food seems to have opened up a cognitive gate and your horn gets a tingly feeling, like when one of your legs fall asleep, as the magic flows back into it.

While you were never the most accomplished magic user, instead relying on your guile and intelligence to find a clever and efficient solution, you still feel leaps and bounds better then before. Plus, the fact that the magic-suppressing drugs that the guards put into the prison food have probably been flushed out of your system can’t hurt either.

The unicorn is just finishing up when you take notice of her cutie mark; a trio of blue diamonds. Your curiosity piqued, you ask “What’s your special talent supposed to be Rarity?”

“Oh, while I’m quite the adept designer my actual special talent is finding… jewels!” She clacks two of the bearings together.

With a whinny of shock you scramble backwards. “Th... that’s a tender area Miss Rarity!” you exclaim as your speech falls back into its old pattern.

She merely laughs haughtily at your reaction. “Oh please, surely you do think not me to be so forward as to… oh no…” The laugh dies in her throat as she looks past you. You follow her gaze to see a very tired and much smaller force of rabbits crawling up the hill. Their bodies are covered in scratches, bruises and it looks like the only thing that’s keeping them moving is spite and raw hate.

“Rarity…” She turns to look at you, her expression showing fear and anxiety. “Get back to the carriage. Now.” She obliges and you hear the door slam shut as you turn around to face the threat. While they outnumber you eight… nine… ten… eleven to one, you’ve got your spark back and they’re obviously not in any condition to fight. A staring contest begins, lasting several seconds before what seems like their alpha male breaks his gaze and spins 180 degrees.

You smile openly, savouring the victory.

Or at least, you do until the leader gives three thumps with his foot…

…and three much, much louder ones answer back.

Then the mountain itself seems to tremor slightly.

The largest hare you’ve ever seen crests the hill. This thing’s not just big, or huge, or even monstrous for a hare; it stands nearly as tall as you and its ears easily double that. It’s so large that it needs its own descriptor, something like Rabnarok, or The Harebinger of Doom. Instead of fur it utilizes scar tissue for warmth. It doesn’t use legs to hop but rather giant organic pistons. Its ears are each large enough to serve as a pair of bunny slippers. The eyes show no mercy, no pity, only a lust for blood and hunger for death. Worst of all is the mouth; only the two buck teeth remain, as if to suggest it didn’t need the rest to slow it down with their weight, each at least six inches long and as sharp as the narrator’s wit.

Worse yet, a small platoon of what you can only guess to be some sort of lesser mountain hare march behind it. While they’re only about twice as tall as their woodland brethren they still just barely reach you knee, although you know from seeing the coachpony that it isn’t their size that you have to be worried about.

Your bravado flees, as do you. You can hear and feel the monster bearing down on you.
Hop.
Hop.
Hop.

While that normally wouldn’t be a particularly bone-chilling onomatopoeia this beast is certainly trying its damnedest to make it one.

You get to the cart and hitch yourself up and take off in ten seconds flat. The sun, now low in the sky, casts long shadows across the mountain face, most disturbingly the rabbit-like one that’s slowly but surely gaining on you. However, the flat summit eventually begins to slope down and you find gravity giving you an extra boost and soon you’ve escaped the shade of the Annhareilator.

You gallop around several bends, each time your hopes rising a little more that you and Rarity had escaped. However, your hopes are squashed when the thing leaped down from a cliff above; it must have caught up by cutting corners!

What a dirty cheat.

Instead of waiting for you to catch up though it hops ahead and, using its massive feet, kicks at the wall! Rocks begin to fall in onto the path, and at the speeds you’re going if you hit anything bigger then a small stone the entire cart could be flipped, and you with it!
What are you going to do?

1) Use your superior reaction time to dodge the rocks!

2) Make a magic wall in front of you to push the stones out of the way!

3) Levitate the miniature meteorites to stop them from falling!


1-A) You attempt to weave around the rocks that cover the trail but find it impossible to avoid all of them. Eventually your luck runs out and the cart’s right wheel catches a hoof-sized stone and not even the carriage’s shock magic can take it. The wheel disintegrates and the entire cart flies through the air as you do a barrel roll! You can hear Rarity screaming from inside until the entire contraption crashes, at which point there is a heart-breaking silence. You manage to drag yourself out of the wreckage, barely alive, only to see the mountain monster’s foot in front of you. As you look up you see the other foot hovering over your head. [DEATH-1]

2-B) A weak shield is formed in front of you that serves to batter the smaller rocks away. Some of the larger ones remain but you find it relatively easy to steer around them. [CONTINUE]

3-C) The falling rocks are both too numerous and fast moving to catch with your magic. You quickly find yourself overwhelmed by the sheer number of them and lose your concentration! As they fall down you try to protect your head but it seems like the only thing keeping you from getting brained is moderate amount of luck.
Flip a coin twice; get two heads and you die [DEATH-2], anything else and you live [CONTINUE]


DEATH-1) The foot comes down, crushing your head like a ripe melon. As your soul departs the mortal realm you see death hovering over the monster, tutting you as he quips “Hare today, gone tomorrow.”

DEATH-2) A small boulder smashes into your skull and your neck snaps. You don’t even feel yourself falling out of the bridle and getting run over by the cart. You rise from your broken and mangled body to see death hefting a large rock. “And let he who is without sin cast the first stone,” he intones before tossing it over his shoulder with a chuckle.
>> No. 7691
>>7683
DESTRUCTOCUS MIGHTY BARRIER IMPENETRABLE!!!
STUPID ROCKS CANNOT HARM DESTRUCTOCUS!!!
>> No. 7706
File 130413086281.png - (2.98KB , 184x172 , 1298946522007.png )
7706
>>7683
I managed to pick out the proper clues and survive despite the prospect of TWO deaths.

Also
>mfw
>whyboner.jpg

Oh wait, that's right: cause RARITY IS THE BEST PONY EVER.

I love you Lightsideluc. Instant bro for life. Those double entrendres, that character development, that sudden burst of backstory and feeling of power!
>mfw

I love it. I sort of winced at Rarity's special talent (not cause of the good joke) but cause I think the mark is symbolic: Twilight could find gems if you recall. Don't pay me any mind though. To each their own.

Can't wait to proceed. I SURVIVED! DAT CLASS. HNNNNNNNNNNNNGHHHHHHHHH
>> No. 7719
>>7683

First off, like the route. Second off, like the options (the two death possibility was a nice touch, though I wouldn't advise going much higher than that. Like, 3 at most).
Third, MADE IT gotta love that horn.
Lastly, don't burn yourself out, and thanks for at least giving us a heads up on the hiatus instead of just bailing. Also, read the death bits for fun. I think you should keep him snarky, it's hilarious.
>> No. 7722
>>7683
This is awesome, loving the CYOA so far.

And I survived, yay!
>> No. 7735
>>7719
WHY WON'T ANYPONY DIEEEEE!!!???
If you like my Death you'll absolutely love Terry Pratchet's. If you have netflix you owe it to yourself to watch The Hogfather. Absolutely brilliant christmass spoof and the best TV movie I've ever watched.
You bronies sure know how to make a colt feel appreciated ^_^. Stay frosty my friends.
>> No. 7767
File 130415773166.png - (346.17KB , 500x685 , fluttershyhelicoptercrash.png )
7767
>>7683
>>7735

WE GOT A LUMBERJACK DOWN. WE GOT A LUMBERJACK DOWN.

I got the clue that magic would be important, but apparently I didn't place enough faith in it. But even then, I had two chances to live through my stupid mistake, TWO. Maybe I shouldn't have used my Two Face coin, or tried to make an important life-or-death decision at three A.M. Oh well, looks like you got your first kill Light.

LUMBERJACK DEATH COUNT: ONE
>> No. 7775
>>7735

No worries, I just died. FIRST POST AND I'M DEAD.
Well, serves me right for being a fruitbasket. Now I get the subtle hint:
>how to avoid getting hit by stones?
>dodge rocks
>remove stones
>levitate meteors.
Well, stones question + stones answer = win

I am dead, that's good, amen. http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/6/62/Soldier_HatOverHeartTaunt04.wav
>> No. 7786
>>7683
somehow i survived and i read the other parts to see what could have happened.
The death parts made be laugh but seriously
Oh .. My.. God!!! XD
>> No. 7787
>>7767
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! DESTRUCTOCUS LAUGH AT PUNY LUMBERJACK!!!!!! MOUNTAIN NOT MADE OF TREES! MOUNTAIN MADE OF ROCK!! IT IS NO PLACE FOR FOOLISH LUMBERJACK! LUMBERJACK GO IN FOREST!
>> No. 7788
>>7683

I like the feeling that your story gives me clues what to do. Like... Im not alone with my decision and somehow know what to do to stay alive.
>> No. 7792
>>7775
LOL I didn't even think of tha... Err... JUST AS PINKIE PLANNED!!!

VICTORY IS MINE! Sucks to be you, dying on 1/4 odds. Since there was already one death I wanted to make it somewhat fair.

>>7787
Have I ever told you that your posts make my day? Cause they do ^_^ .
>> No. 7799
Well you got two, you have the whole fan base left, can you beat them all?
>> No. 7801
Woo! Grez made it!
Grez never die!
never...
>> No. 7810
I'm.... ALIVE! YES!
>> No. 7820
Been going through without any problems so far. :)
>> No. 7845
Will be posting new piece soon. A mere thousand words but it does have some great death respones. The exposition is weak but that's cause I just want to get off the mountain. I hope this kind of setting exaustion doesn't happen again 'cause it's really sapped my enthusiasm.
>> No. 7851
>>7845
I was meaning to ask, what exactly were those ball bearings? Sounds like a pony version of acupuncture, but the description sounds kind of odd and off. Perhaps something magnetic/magical?
>> No. 7856
>>7851
Rarity could have done acupuncture I suppose but I thought of ball bearings and just went with it. I figure it's like kneading with a knuckle, which is something that the flat hooves of a pony lack.

Anways, new part!

As you clear the veritable minefield the monster hops off, still seeming like it doesn’t want a direct confrontation. You briefly puzzle why it hasn’t attacked you, seeing as how it could literally walk all over you, but decide its better that you don’t have to take it on, especially since its lackeys would catch up and tear you apart. You barrel down the hill, trying to reach the bottom as fast as possible. Rarity doesn’t seem too pleased with your breakneck pace and she voices her opinion on your lack of due caution by yelling “You’re going to crash and break our necks at this pace!”

Took the words right out of your mind.

Still, she has a point, one that is made when you overshoot a turn on the trail. Lady luck favours you though by granting you the boon of a long straightway to brake on as you speed past the bend instead of doing your best impression of a pegasus. Dirt, dust and sand fly up as you dig your hooves into the ground to slow down. You examine the new pathway; the runoff is quite narrow, just a few inches wider then the cart, meaning that you can’t turn around. However, as you cast a look back you see something far worse; those ravenous rabbits have caught up! If you don’t get moving they’ll kill you and use your horn as a teething toy for their young!

Too bad you ate all of the carrots at the summit. Maybe you could’ve bribed the rabbits with them.

You take stock of your surroundings and consider the possibilities. The main pathway continues on just below you, although to get down to it you would have to brave the worryingly steep and rough cliff face, something that you’re not exactly sure you can accomplish. You could also back up and bop Peter Rabbit on the head by trying to run them over with your cart. Looking up you see a large pile of rocks above the rabbits, but chances are that they’re too heavy to bring down with your magic by yourself.
So, what are you going to do?

1) Milk run! Brave the mountainside and show that you can be an accomplished rock climber as well!

2) Splatter spree! Run over the little buggers!

3) Rock’n’Roll! Crush their dreams and smash their ambitions by bringing the mountain’s might against them!

1-A) With a hint of trepidation you turn onto the hill and quickly find yourself sliding down uncontrollably! You hope Lady Luck hasn’t skipped out on you yet! Flip a coin; Tails you make it down with nothing but some bad memories and a few bruises [LIFE-2], heads and you get first-hand experience as to why a rolling stone gathers no moss [DEATH-2].

2-B) Giving a mighty snort you do the locomotion in reverse and charge towards the horrid hares! You steam towards them, your hooves pounding the dirt, splitting stone and rending rock! You laugh as you feel something get run over by the cart.
Then you feel pain.
Lots and lots of pain.
On your legs, to be exact.
Looking down you see the rabbits clinging doggedly to you with their sharp teeth! You realize too late that they must have just simply ducked under the oncoming cart and waited for it to pass over before assaulting you. You’re quickly brought down and within moments they’re swarming all over you, each bite two fresh daggers of pain. As you bleed out Rarity’s screams, eventually fading into wet gurgling, slowly get further and further away. [DEATH-1]


3-C) You concentrate on the rocks, trying to bring them down. However, even with your much-improved magical abilities you find it to be an impossible endeavour.
Good thing you’re not the only unicorn around! “Rarity, I need your help!” you cry out desperately; those mountain hares are drawing closer by the second!
“Of course!” she replies, her speech lacking the usual class, most likely because she’s as worried about the approaching haremada as you are.
“Help me bring start a rockslide!” you call as you focus on the boulders again.
“O...okay…” she answers fretfully as she adds her magic to yours. The rocks shift and the hares, their attuned senses picking up the vibrations of the oncoming stones, try to escape, only to be swept away by the onrush of minerals! [LIFE-1]


LIFE-1) You carefully manoeuvre around the rocks that didn’t clear the path and soon rejoin with the main trail. You continue on your way again, feeling a little tired from the magical exertion but are otherwise in high spirits after your joint effort. Rarity also seems quite pleased with herself and, more importantly, with you and your quick thinking.

LIFE-2) You successfully reach the bottom and are now back on the trail. You have a few scrapes and bumps but are otherwise in one piece, unlike your ego. Rarity makes sure to give you an earful on your lack of forethought and the reckless endangerment of your lives.

DEATH-1) You shrug off your mortal coils and watch in morbid fascination as the hares devour what’s left of you and Rarity. As you look around you see Rarity’s spirit conversing with Death himself, her face covered in what could only be described as supreme annoyance. “What do you mean I’m DEAD?!” she spat at him.
Death just shrugged his shoulders and replied with “Sorry Ma’am, them’s the rules.”
“Well, he’s the one who got me killed! What are you going to do with him!?” she yells angrily as she gestures towards you.
“Hmm, well I might bind the two of you together for all eternity. I’m sure you’d make death a living hell for him!” Death laughs raucously as Rarity tries to spear him with her horn.


DEATH-2) You trip and fall as your hoof catches on a large rock. Soon you and the cart are dashed across the mountainside, your legs and neck splayed at unnatural angles. When your soul splits from its host you find Death looking quite irritated. “Stupid narrator already used my line…” he mumbles to nopony in particular before you depart with him.
>> No. 7863
eyyyyup magic always wins. I was worried that this line "too heavy to bring down with your magic by yourself" was something to consider. I even was about to "fuck this, lets run over them" Than I realized Rarity is with me and I was right. But you almost made me fail in a clever way and I love you even more for that
>> No. 7871
>>7863
I try ^_^.
But you're right, everything has been about magic lately. I'll try to chamnge it up a bit later, especially since I'm trying to DOWNPLAY his magical abilities.
Derp.
>> No. 7887
>>7856
DESTRUCTOCUS DESTROY PATHETIC BUNNIES!!!!!!! PATHETIC BUNNIES DESTROYED BY DESTRUCTOCUS!!!!!! DESTRUCTOCUS MIGHTY MAGIC IS MIGHTY!!!
NORABBIT CAN HARM DESTRUCTOCUS!!!!
>> No. 7893
I can hereby announce that I lost the game for the first time as my idea of CRUSH KILL DESTROY has caused me to be CRUSHED, KILLED, and DESTROYED by the "little buggers." This is looking like a horny type of story so far from the looks of it...
>> No. 7895
Yep, magic save my ass again. Magic what can it not do.
>> No. 7905
>>7893
Horny as in lots of unicorn horn magic or horny as in Rarity x Onyx?
I fully intend to start balancing the magic vs. physical aspects as NOT choosing the physical option seems to be the default skip.
The point where magic isn't the answer is probably going to kill all of you since you'll choose the magic option by default >:D .
>> No. 7911
Once more, I remain among the living.
Gotta love a magic tag-team.
Also, you veeery nearly made me have to take the coin flip route. The clues are getting more... Subtle.

And the death was hilarious once again, especially with Rarity trying to spear him with her horn.
>> No. 7918
I have to be honest here and admit that I died.
The clues were rather tricky this time around. Especially since the only real safe option was sort of glossed over. I didn't realize that Rarity was a variable in the equation. The possibility of life/death made sense with the other option though. I feel bad though.

Guess I'll just have to wait till Onyx brutishly chows down on some yggdrasil leaves to bring me back to life. I'll keep playing along though.
>> No. 7934
>>7905
DESTRUCTOCUS ACCEPTS CHALLENGE!!!!!!
YOUR PUNY MORTAL BRAIN MAY NOT REALIZE IT BUT DESTRUCTOCUS HAS SEVERAL PHDS. IN FIELDS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: DESTROYING, RABBIT SLAUGHTER, SURVIVING CYOA'S AND HYPER-DIMENSIONAL ADVANCED NUCLEAR REVERSE-POSITRONIC CALCULUS
>> No. 7950
I'm going to laugh so hard if Destructocus dies.

I survived up until this last one.
Tried to run the heathens over. Dunno what I was thinking. T.T
>> No. 7953
>>7918
Hey guys, don't forget to post which way you died! I'm morbid like that.
Remember moose, if you have an item or pony with you it'll/they'll be of use. I made sure to mention that by yourself you couldn't lift them. Perhaps if I had set a precedent in the last chapter by having her help it would have been better but oh well. It's a thin line that I walk, trying to give enough clues to make it fair without being too easy.
>> No. 7967
>>7953
Yeah, in retrospect it makes sense. She was riding safely in the carriage so I figured she wouldn't be of use. She was like an NPC lets say, or an escort on one of those missions. I tried to run the bastards over initially (its been spoiled before, not just by me) since I figured the path was certain doom. And weren't the bunnies supposed to be like half my height? Since they were the backups of that one giant bunny? How high/low was the cart? I'm starting to feel slightly cheated. How can I worm my way back to the land of the living? Oh well. I'll follow along regardless and let you know how many times I die total.
>> No. 7979
>>7967
As I keep saying, death is merely a statistic, nothing more. Stop worrying about it. Go watch some Dragon's Lair and just imagine the game is like that but instead of popping a quarter you're losing your dignity ^_^ .
It's a cart that's designed for travelling fast over up to rough terrain, so its wheels are probably large. Inferences must be made since if I spell things out it'll be too obvious. Still, I admit I should have dropped some specs for it.
>> No. 8015
i'm joining this epic quest. So far i survived on lady luck(thanks baby *wink) but i get the feeling she going to dump me...
ps:are any other characters going to appear?
>> No. 8020
File 130424984847.png - (17.15KB , 200x200 , 200px-Lady_Luck_KH.png )
8020
got screwed over by trying to run over the rabbits but for the record the first thing i thought was rarity could be of use :)

<<8015
i think its time for a weapon change
>> No. 8021
>>8015
>>8020

....oops still getting used to this place...
>> No. 8027
>>8015
Yep. All of the main cast and then some (Rarity talks about it in chapter 1) plus several OCs to fill various roles.
Right now I'm trying to get some crossovers with other stories happening (I'm thinking of making the "mysterious" leader of the Rotten Apples thread and maybe the dark prince from "Dark Herd Rising" show up in some capacity).
>> No. 8046
>>8020

i never like the Disney keyblades but i sure loved the FF keys and thx.
pause epic game
Lv 9
hp:102/125
mp:31/50
sp:15/15
limit break:llllllll_
equip:Lady Luck
unequip:Friendship
unpause
LETS DO THIS!!!
>> No. 8048
>>8046
You unequppied friendship?!?!
BUT THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF MLP!!!
Traitor...
>> No. 8057
>>8048
Don't worry OP, by unequiping friendship he won't get far. It'll end up giving him negative attributes and he won't be able to get past any of his dice-checks. Imagine his surprise when guards murder him on sight. Bwahahahahahaha
>> No. 8067
>>8057

Lv14
hp:2/210
mp:4/65
sp:18/25
limit break 2 ll_____
equip Friendship(gives long range & ups def/attack)
unequip Lady Luck
....sad thing about this...i got only 5 gil from these guards...
[b]i got ambush. the error message was a TRAP!!![i/b]
>> No. 8068
well its confirm...i suck at spoilers 6_9 derp
[b]i got ambush. the error message was a TRAP!!![i/?]
>> No. 8072
yeah i suck...6_9-derp?
>> No. 8073
Ehh I prefer the Oath Keeper then Lady Luck.
>> No. 8086
>>8072
Error message?
Hey, just so you know could you try not to waste bumps? One largely irrelevant post and two one line posts back to back to back is a bit ridiculous. If you absolutely have to post a minor edit like that then please type "sage" (Without the quotations) into the email field so the post doesn't bump. This also applies as long as the story isn't about to sink to the next page.
FYI next part probably isn't coming 'till at least Mon... *YAWN* ...day due to me being super tired.
>> No. 8094
>>8086
Take your time. We need more CYOA's like this though (not identical to this, but you know what I mean). Anyway, gonna love how things play out once we meet the crew.
>> No. 8110
>>8086
What Watcher said. Make sure you get plenty of rest in-between, we'll be waiting regardless. Last thing you want to do is work yourself too hard and suddenly find that you don't like writing anymore.

Can't wait for more shipping fuel/limey bits. Hot damn that massage scene was erotic.

Sage just not to bump
>> No. 8113
>>8110
Phew, for a second there I mistook "Massage" for "Massacre" and I thought you had gotten a hard on by killing bunnies (BTW It should be mentioned that I just woke up from my power nap and am still out of it a bit).
>>8094
After I'm done this one I'm thinking of doing a space setting with a cross between Star Wars and Mass Effect (Star Wars action with diolouge heavy bits where choices will effect the diolouge trees).

Wow I'm asleep for just two hours and the thread was pushed back a whole page.
>> No. 8114
>>8110
Phew, for a second there I mistook "Massage" for "Massacre" and I thought you had gotten a hard on by killing bunnies (BTW It should be mentioned that I just woke up from my power nap and am still out of it a bit).
>>8094
After I'm done this one I'm thinking of doing a space setting with a cross between Star Wars and Mass Effect (Star Wars action with diolouge heavy bits where choices will effect the diolouge trees).

Wow I'm asleep for just two hours and the thread was pushed back a whole page.
>> No. 8134
>>8114
sorry dude, i'm still getting use to this broad. :P anyway yeah just relax & take it easy. there no rush.
>> No. 8199
Gah, I died again. Hit and Run is not the answer, it seems.
>> No. 8209
>>8199
Spoilers people! If it pretains to an answer it needs spoilerrrsssss!!!
On a more serious topic there may not be an update today. I did write last night but it was for an ongoing series instead since I was feeling serious'n'stuff.
Don't hate me for my traitorous inclinations.
>> No. 8217
File 130434801975.png - (289.98KB , 437x351 , 1301111017122.png )
8217
>>8209
The wait only makes it better. So long as the end result is quality, I'm perfectly fine waiting.

Any chance we'll be picking up Pinkie in a saloon?
>> No. 8224
>>8217
Indeed. Have the last acts been up to par for you guys? I myself can't seem to shake the feeling that they lack the beginning's quality.

That can be arranged...
>> No. 8236
>>8217
>>8224

wild west pinkie? sounds VERY interesting..,,:P
ps:Light, the error message i said before was about that ponychan was down.
>> No. 8270
Hey guys, since I haven't been particularly forthcoming with new chapters enjoy one of my (Newly updated!) older stories while you wait!
It's a far-flung spin-off of The Conversion Beruea, Simply titled "Maverick."
Enjoy and comment (I mean, if you want to...)!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BNC7cQRLEAfRltCVafnEDIG3Nu7pA4mH1RB-T1n24VY/edit?hl=en&pli=1
>> No. 8272
>>8224

There's a bit less flamboyance with the wordplay, but the quality (though not the length) has been consistent throughout the adventure.

>>8114
I like the idea as well (would definitely read it). Though admittedly I'm more interested in this story finishing first.
>> No. 8310
File 130439176492.png - (29.12KB , 695x920 , Come with me if you want to party.png )
8310
>>8224
>5000 boners
>Instantly
>Forever

You must incorporate this line
>pic related

I especially got an old-timey feel with the carriage and all, old maps, etc.

Can't wait for more characters. This will be delicious.
>> No. 8348
>>8310
WUT.
I'll see if I can't squeeze it in somewhere.
Me too. Just Rarity and Onyx is getting old.
>> No. 8369
File 130443421578.jpg - (94.08KB , 576x665 , 1303930470931.jpg )
8369
>>8348
What? Saloon Pinkie is best Pinkie thus far.

I can imagine it now:

Tired and thirsty from their travels, they pull into the local saloon to pick up their next team member. Not knowing what to expect, Onyx places his order with the bartender. Then, a beautiful young waitress with a dazzling pink mane approaches their table with their order.

Placing the drinks (or salt?) on the table, she whispers into Onyx's ear, "Come with me if you want to party."

Overhearing, Rarity gives him a coy smile and a nod as his already orange coat turns a brighter pink than the waitress.

Cue awkward scene where he totally misunderstood Pinkie Pie and she was talking about a real party, perhaps with some friends of hers and another cast member (picking up two at once?). Then they have to escape as a bar fight breaks out? Who knows!
>> No. 8370
>>8369
That's actually pretty good, although I was thinking that Pinkie would just have a Western theme at the Sugarcube Corner.
Also I apologize for the wait. I'd give an excuse but I don't really have any good ones...
I've just been dissapointed with the last bit and I'm trying to find my muse so that I can at least do a good coclusion for this chapter.
>> No. 8371
>>8369
I won't be surprise if the fight began cause pinkie sung "gotta share" song and a other chase starts cause pinkie sung the song again & our main hero is like "YOU THINK SINGING THAT SONG AGAIN WAS GOING TO STOP THEM!?".
>> No. 8374
>>8370
Thanks, I'm trying to get into the writing scene. Mostly I like writing these kinds of detailed replies though I'm trying to write an actual fic. Feel free to go with whatever you feel like! I wouldn't want to influence you one way or another if you've already got something in mind. If you're looking for a little inspiration though......

>>8371
Onyx watches the dazzling young mare approach the stage and start her musical number. Bar fight breaks out and he has to rescue both her AND Rarity before things get too violent. Cue stagecoach escape!
>> No. 8378
>>8209

Whoops, sorry. Still getting used to this format.
>> No. 8380
I'm thinking something like....
Pinkie: "You should come with me. All the stallions and mares think I throw the best partys."
Onyx: "Er... they.. do? Mares too?"
Pinky:"Well of course, it's not a party with only one guest."
Rarity: "In fact my dear, I wouldn't mind joining you and Mr. Onyx for the party too."
Onyx: "Hu-wuh?
Rarity: "Oh don't look like that Mr. Onyx. Just beacuase I am a upstanding lady doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good party as well."
>> No. 8386
File 130444739661.jpg - (14.44KB , 220x270 , Sir Leadhead.jpg )
8386
Fantastic adventure here, good sir! Mind if I join in? I survived all the perils so far, you've got the clues really well hidden, subtle as a tasty garnish on a thanksgiving turkey. But with a little thought and intuition one can work out the correct answer ;)

also Destructocus!! *throws down the glove* I challenge thee! By the end of the story, the one with the least amount of death's wins! *Draws rapier, puts down the visor on his helmet* Have at thee, knave!
>> No. 8397
>>8386
Indeed, but let us hope that you do not live to your name, sir knight.

I was wondering when someone would challange him :D. Remember guys, this is mostly the trust game so do try to not post answers in your posts (At least without spoilering them) or pretend that you survived certain parts.
>> No. 8413
>>8397

A true knight never lies! And while I do not profess much knowledge about Destructocus...es, I presume they are honorable opponents!

Also, a heavy head I may have, but the scourge of radiation will never harm me!
>> No. 8417
>>8413
Hmm, uh-huh...
Mental note, make extremely difficult physics-related radiation death sequence
>> No. 8428
File 130446681679.jpg - (73.65KB , 750x600 , emboar_motivational_poster.jpg )
8428
>>8386
DESTRUCTOCUS ACCEPTS CHALLENGE FROM PUNY KNIGHT!!!!
I TELEPATHIC MIND RAY SHALL MAKE YOU CHOOSE INCORRECT ANSWER!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
>> No. 8429
>>8417

General ETA on the next chunk? o .o

Yay phyisics.
>> No. 8430
File 130446731184.gif - (37.35KB , 1114x946 , Don-Quixote-Windmill.gif )
8430
>>8428

Ahh, my stalwart opponent, you have forgotten one of my many strengths! Mind-control rays, like many ray-based weapons, do not go through lead-lined helmets! A knight must move with the times, and I have upgraded my armor to protect against even the most futuristic of attacks!

It's damn heavy, though.
>> No. 8431
>>8430

oh my. sage derp. Must have happened when my head was weighed down, missed the email line and hit subject instead.

Such is the life of a Knight of Computorlot (although my transfer to Canterlot should be coming through any day now...)
>> No. 8444
>>8431
THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE DESTRUCTOCUS MIND RAY!!!!!!
>> No. 8449
>>8444
DESTRUCTOCUS: 1
Sir Leadhead: 0
I intended to bunker down tonight and get the end of chapter 2 done hopefully.
>> No. 8481
>>8444
Well, well, well. looks like this epic quest is turning into a battle over minds. yet i see the brave knight losing to the his VERY SMART foe.
>> No. 8503
>>8481

Don't send a knight to do a Rouge's job
>> No. 8506
K, I managed to crap out another 1000 words. Hopefully the two new types of questions that I have planned will keep you guys busy.
>> No. 8531
>>8503
Send a Ranger instead.
>> No. 8553
>>8386

May I join this tournament? I warn you, you may not win: a Bard has many tricks and spells up his sleeves!

And I've already died twice so I'm losing.
>> No. 8559
Oh great, a spoony bard.
>> No. 8568
File 130452569941.jpg - (242.48KB , 552x480 , 1-knightdragon-a.jpg )
8568
>>8553

another foe to join the challenge? Good, although I have my hands full with this one at the moment...

>Is getting slowly crushed by Destructocus's massive mind ray

But no worries, For I shall soon triumph! As soon as he dies... that is when I shall strike!
>> No. 8573
Right, here's a new tidbit for you adventurous ponies out there! This is an experimental question so if the death rate is too high on it I'll consider it null and void.

You continue down the mountain, your heart lifting when you catch a few glimpses of the rolling plains that splay out across the land through breaks in the cloud cover. As your hooves beat against the ground, the sound that emanates from their pounding sounding like a drum roll when it echoes off of the mountain, a troubling thought suddenly hits you.

“Rarity!” you call back.

The familiar lily-white face of the unicorn pops out and answers “What is it, Onyx?” She seems worried, probably from thinking that you’ve noticed another perilous and perplexing problem.

“The magic shocks on the cart might be getting overloaded! Can you use your magic to check them? I’m too busy trying to keep this death trap from rolling over!” You immediately regret the use of ‘death trap' at her concerned expression but a blue glow surrounds her horn nevertheless.

She recoils as if she’s been burned by a hot poker. “Oof! They seem to be quite unstable Onyx!” she yells.

You briefly contemplate what the results of the shocks bursting would be. They had special release valves that locks but considering the speeds and the rough terrain that you were travelling on they wouldn’t be able to vent the excess energy. If you pushed them too hard there was a good chance they could explode! The bottom of the cart was designed to withstand such force but if it happened while you were strapped on there was a good chance that you wouldn’t be alive for the return trip down to Earth. Hopefully they would last until you got to the bottom of the mountain.

You continue you’re descent, hooves straining to find purchase on the loose terra firma. The air seems to have warmed up again and you no longer have difficulty breathing. Rarity gives a gasp as the cart drifts around a switchback and for a few stomach-churning moments you think it’s going to keep its momentum and drag you with it. You quickly recover from potential disaster and continue steaming your way down the hill, the cloud of dust and debris that you kick up mingling with some of the low-flying clouds that you pass through. You can feel you coat getting wet and matted-down from the condensation that hangs in the clouds but instead of avoiding them you purposefully steer yourself into their midst, their cool water sapping the excess heat from your body as the clouds roil and roll in your wake.

Despite the break and massage at the summit your body once again feels like somepony has tied lead weights to it and the constant shaking your head has gone through dragging the carriage down the hill has given you a headache. You’re not sure just how much longer you can last like this. Fortune smiles on you yet again though as the cloud cover begins to thin out.

Eventually you break through the last layer of fog and see the sun beginning its final descent before giving way to the ebony shroud of darkness. You’d best hurry before the sun sets; being stuck out here in the hare’s territory would hardly constitute a pleasant way to spend the night. The grassy fields that form the lay of the land greet you with open arms, the grass promising much-needed sustenance while the trees gladly bequeathed their shelter to any weary traveller. You slow your gallop to a canter, then a trot, and finally come to a smooth stop. Rarity pops her head out of the window, her eyes widening in relief at seeing what would hopefully constitute the end of this particularly harrowing journey.

“Onyx, be a dear and remind me to always treat Angel nicely from now on when this is over.” You look at her curiously, not exactly understanding the implications of her statement but filing it away for future reference anyways.

You scan the base of the mountain, looking for a way down. It seems like the path terminates in a steep but unusually smooth chicken-run for the last hundred or so metres before running over an old wood bridge…

Which the Decihareter is currently dismantling.

It’s official; bridges are finicky boards... *ahem* broads… and not to be trusted under any circumstance.

You feel your anger reach a boiling point; you survived a pack of ravenous rabbits, ran all the way up a massive mountain while dodging rockslides and braving perilous paths, endured a somewhat sensual experience with your commissioner, outran even bigger rabbits as well as bringing down part of the mountain on top of their heads, and now this ugly inbred mutant is trying to steal your victory!

You hurriedly examine your surroundings, trying to spot any other potential paths to cross the yawning chasm that separates you from freedom. However, none reveal themselves to you, leaving only the broken bridge as your salvation. You’ll need to somehow clear the gap on the bridge to ride off into the sunset.

The question is… how? Nothing comes immediately to mind in regards to making a shocking and explosive exit from centre stage this time. Still, if you want to get off this Luna-damned mountain you’d better come up with something!

*Make your own answer! There’s a (This time, at least) fairly obvious answer to this skull-scratcher but if you come up with a particularly novel idea it could earn its own unique answer! Remember, leave no detail behind; a single forgotten factor could make the difference between a cursed life and a blessed death!

(This idea came late into the production cycle and while the initial answer may be apparent the complete one that lets you survive is much less so due to a lack of long-term clues. As such here are some gratuitously given variables: The carriage can hold two ponies at once, you still have enough magic left to keep the coach going straight without physically guiding it, and the shocks work by converting physical movement into a magic-stored medium which can be altered by adding or releasing magic to or from them)

Remember to spoiler your answers!!
>> No. 8575
Can I dismantle the carriage use its parts to reinforce the bridge cross and than put it up together? Ropes and planks could be moved magicaly. I assume its just easy trick after we have brought down a rockslide.
I would come with something more creative, but my english sux and I still feel that I missed something important. I need to read it few more times.
>> No. 8576
>>8573
THE SOLUTION IS SIMPLE! YOU MUST FIRST GET INSIDE THE CARRIAGE THEN ROLL DOWN THE HILL!!! NEXT, WHEN YOU NEAR THE BRIDGE OVERLOAD THE SHOCKS!!!! THIS WILL CAUSE AN EXPLOSION THAT WILL LAUNCH THE CARRIAGE OVER THE CHASM!!!! REMEMBER! YOU SAID THE CARRIAGE WOULD SURVIVE SUCH AN EXPLOSION AND WE CAN USE RARITY TO HELP CUSHION THE LANDING!!!!! ONE LAST STEP!! WHILE FLYING OVER THE CHASM YOU MUST SAY "YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAWWWWWW" AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE!!!! END SPOILER!!
>> No. 8579
>Raises the visor on his helmet and gives the post some careful consideration

Hmm... I say, this looks kind of easy... almost too easy... well, nothing ventured!

>closes helmet

Huzzah!

After giving some fast, furious, and fastidious consideration to solving your bridge-dismantling dilemma, you think how easy this would be if only there were some sort of ramp or something at the bottom of the steep, smooth, short slope that slides all the way up to the start of the bridge. One could just jump all the way across, over the harrowing hare and onto the beckoning safety of the plains. Too bad you're too tired to telekineticly construct a ramp while guiding the cart at the same time... wait...

A metaphorical lightbulb metaphorically appears over your head, and you grin with a certain confidence that conveniently covers your common sense's methods of telling you you're just plain crazy. "Rarity, if I could join you in the cart for a moment, I think we can get out of this precarious predicament."

"I certainty hope so, those dreadful bunnies are simply awful! I just want off of this mountain as soon as possible." she replies.

"Well," you say as you carefully position the cart at the top of the slope leading down to the busted bridge. "here's the plan..." you get in the cart, explaining the plan as quickly as possible. Rarity gives you a concerned nod. She expresses nervousness over such a bold proposition, but she understands the necessity of the plan. You nod back, and give the cart a gentle nudge with your magic, inching it forward enough to start it rolling down the slope, picking up quite a lot of speed. You concentrate on guiding the cart down the straight and narrow, aiming right for a part where the broken bridge gives a tiny upward curve. As soon as you think you hit it, you shout in your most stalwart voice, "NOW!"

Rarity's horn glows bright blue as she squints with effort, pumping as much magic as she can muster into the shock-absorption spell buffers. Already close to overloading, the buffers fantastically explode with a boisterous and big 'BANG!'

The cart's sturdy underside protects you and your beautiful commissioner, and almost as if a rocket had launched under you, the cart jumps into the sky! You struggle to keep guiding it with your magic, as you have been doing all the while, keeping the cart from tipping over as it sails through the air unbound, over the baffled expression of the horrible hare responsible for your predicament. Able to keep the cart straight and true, it lands on the other side of the chasm with a crunch of axles and wheels, skidding and sliding to a crunchy halt.

The cart ain't going anywhere anymore, but you and Miss Rarity are alive and only slightly battered from the experience. You feel as if a witty one-liner is required here, but you're too tired to make one up. So you just smile wearily at Rarity and say "Glad we made it."


Well, is that not a good survival tale? I shall await it's approval from the game master!

... hopefully approval, anyways, as long as my calculations are correct...
>> No. 8580
hmm, also, I may have missed something here. blame Destructocus's mind ray. Are we supposed to answer in narrative, or just give a summery of what we should do?

I realize that I may have asked this question too late for my current answer, but I shall keep the answer in mind for the future! I would not want to steal Light's thunder if he were wanting to type a tale of terrific escapes and daring do's.
>> No. 8600
>>8576
Using Rarity as a cusion, while inspired, isn't conductive to both you and her surviving. However, for making me laugh with that I shall accept that answer anyways, barring the Pony-Pillow part.
Also, I wholly approve of the "YE-HAW" part..



>>8579
Your writing reminds me of when I still had some juice going for this story (IE The beginning). Indeed that is most correct good sir. As a point to remember it is more then satisfactory to provide a summary but I enjoyed your answer nevertheless (I hope you don't mind me borrowing from it liberally ;P ).


>>8575
I am afraid that wouldn't work. The big bad bunny is down there actively tearing it apart after all and I wouldn't bet on him waiting patiently while you undo his skullduggery.
>> No. 8601
File 130454226067.jpg - (28.62KB , 371x700 , 694254-Medieval-Knight-in-Shining-Armour-Victory_v.jpg )
8601
huzzah! It seems both me and my opponent have made it through the proverbial gauntlet. And of course you can borrow from my answer liberally, chivalry demands generosity, after all!

>brandishes sword at Destructocus.
I'll get you next time!
>> No. 8602
While I appreciate and understand Destructocus and Sir Leadhead's plans, there is one factor perilously unaccounted for: The giant mutant rabbit. While the plan to use the explosion is solid, the rabbit may smack you down into the river, being the abomination that it is.
So, here is my proposal: You look down once more at the Rabbinator dismantling your current means of escape. However, a particularly old board snaps in the monstrous maw, filling it with splinters and causing the beast to throw a small tantrum. Of course, to something that powerful, a small tantrum means a complete leveling of the surrounding area. You gulp as you rack your brain, unsure if you could speed past the beast on the last usable portion of the bridge.
At first you think of simply overloading the strained shocks, hoping the blast will carry you over the medium sized river, but immediately re-consider after seeing the beast jump a solid 20 meters straight in the air to body slam a medium sized oak, splintering it and enraging the monster further. However, this gives you an idea, hailing back to your college days in Adventuring and Archaeology 101. Your professor, Kentucky Whip, may have been somewhat of an odd teacher, he was definitely thorough on both titles of the course. Knowing how to delicately brush fossils may not help here, but there was a section on evading ancient traps, which included boulders. He always said that your ability to dodge was matched only by your complete inability to keep fossils in one piece during excavation.
"Rarity, do you think you can move the cart by yourself?" The snowy white pony stuck her head out and raised an eyebrow, "Yes, but why dear?" You try to put on your best action-hero smirk (though mediocre dental care in college compounded by years in prison make this more fierce than heroic) and calmly say, "I have a plan. Steer it towards that bridge when I get it's attention." Rarity stares at you, stunned by the insanity of this suicide mission. Before she can let out a rebuttal, you take off at a steady trot down the slope, readying yourself for the danger you are about to face.
You get about twenty yards away from the Hareraiser, immediately wishing you had come up with a different plan. Oh well, you only live once (sort of). "Hey ugly!" you yell, a voice crack killing the intensity of the call. Bleeder Cottontail looks up from a small tree that it was pummeling, eyes full of rage and, fortunately, blunt stupidity. You realize upon closer inspection that the monster is completely wall-eyed, giving you a small burst of confidence. "Yeah, you heard me. Want a piece of me?" The Haremaker cocks it's head at you and gives the classic "dumb mook head-scratch." You fling a rock at it in an attempt to make it chase you once more. Unfortunately, it gives the dumbest smile you have ever seen, looks down at the rock you flung (or maybe some bush, you aren't entirely sure), picks up a boulder, and flings it at you. As you frantically dodge behind a tree, the heinous rodent is standing there, clapping and possibly looking around for you. This might be easier than you thought.
"Hey, Floppo (that sounded so much better in your head)! Wanna play hide and go seek?" The beast claps once more, doing it's best impression of a smile (having only front teeth tends to make this tricky), and immediately covers it's eyes. Not the way you planned it, but Professor Whip always said that adventure situations were almost never how they appeared.
And this is where the question would be, so I'll just go the life... route. You take refuge behind a fallen tree, just in time for the childish monster to look around, hopping around in an attempt to find you. A fish hops out of the river, and the beast immediately tackles in the direction of the splash, coming up empty (and more importantly, only up to it's thighs) in the water. This gives you yet another idea. You lift a fairly good sized rock, then fling it against the largest tree left standing. The wall-eyed gaze goes towards the tree, and the Goliath pony-eater rabbit starts trying to sneak towards it. For good measure, you snap a twig on the opposite side of the tree as the rabbit.

This seals the deal.

The beast lets out a playful roar, then tackles the large oak tree, hitting it's head hard and also splintering half the trunk. Harey Derp-Eyes gets up, staring at the tree. In a fit of imbecilic rage he headbutts the tree, knocking it across the river and knocking himself out cold. You see Rarity crossing the river, waving at you while dangling partially out the window. You hop on the makeshift bridge and re-join her. After some mild scolding on your recklessness and genuine compliments on your bravery, you try and head toward Ponyville, the last orange lights of the sun beginning to set on the horizon.


I am sorry if I got carried away with this, it was quite fun to do. Also apologies for the terms, I lack the silver tongue (or fingers, as the case may be) that Lightsideluc possesses.
>> No. 8603
>>8602
Apologies my dear knight, it appears I was incorrect. You did take the rabbit into account.
>> No. 8604
>>8602
It was good, but you forgot a few things.
A) You're still on the mountain. The trees are on the other side.
B) It's not a river, it's a chasm, valley, a bi-section of earth that seeks to swallow the unwary whole.
C)The rabid rabbit is anything but playful. It's out for blood. The fact that it preicted where you would go and removed your escape route also suggests that its more intelligent then your average bear... er, bunny
>> No. 8606
>>8604
Ah, thanks for the tip. I really need to do this sort of thing in one sitting to avoid these sort of glaring mistakes (and misinterpretations).
Having actual writing experience may help this too.
>> No. 8607
>>8600
HMMMMMM!!! SO IT SEEMS THAT IF DESTRUCTOCUS IS EVER UNSURE OF AN ANSWER DESTRUCTOCUS CAN SIMPLY SUGGEST PONY MURDER THAT IS GOOD TO KNOW!!!!









OOC: I didn't mean to suggest using Rarity as a cushion, but rather having her use her magic to do some levitation that will at least lessen the impact of the fall.
>> No. 8612
>>8604
Yes! Thats what I was missing all the time. Its easy. I guess...
If im still on the mountain I assume there is some angle between my current position and bridge. If we can both fit into the carriage and than make it move forward, we could get some speed before we make it to the bridge and if angle is good enough we could detonate shocks with magic and just leap over the chasm. If cart is able to survive the explosion, I think it will handle the landing. Or maybe Rarity have something we could use as a parachute? I dunno. Chasm is probably too wide or I will die horribly upon the landing but comparing this to beeing devoured by mutant hare... This sounds promising and fun and I need to die already. Im too lucky.
>> No. 8670
Alright, after a little revision, here's the escape plan 2.0
You look down at the psychotic cottontail as it starts to decimate your only visible means of escape. You feel a massive shudder as your last ray of hop is torn up and partially falls into the endless abyss below. The Bunnynator is looking at the last beam supporting the bridge, almost looking pensive as to whether leave it there to fall on it's own or uproot it like he did the other. You take this opportunity to formulate a plan.

"Rarity." you say, your brain working overtime, "do you think we can jump that?" She raises an eyebrow at you. "What do you mean, dear?" You point your horn at the Hillbunny, who seems to be poking the beam in order to speed up it's natural uprooting. "Look. It's preoccupied. I think we may be able to overload the shocks and cross the chasm, since I don't feel particularly confident in attempting a balancing act on the only rope left." She bit her lip in thought. "I don't know darling, do you think it's... Safe?" You shake your head. She looks at the Abunnynation, then back at you. "Alright, but how are we going to do that without you... You know..." She gestures to your harness which, in all the frustration and panicked planning, you almost forgot you were wearing. You take it off and get blinded by the glint off of it caused by the setting sun. Then, a plan hits you that is so crazy and brilliant. you almost can't believe that you hadn't thought about it.

"Alright, just thought of how we're gonna get across and handle the rodent problem." you exclaim confidently, marred only by the slight voice crack in "rodent." Rarity raises an eyebrow as you hop into the carriage, then proceed to explain it to her in close quarters.

You jam your head out the side of the cart, mustering up the last reserves of your magical prowess to get the cart going at nearly full speed toward the narrowest portion of the chasm; unfortunately, this is in the general area of the bridge. The Haremaker looks up from the post that it was pressing it's foot upon (more like a boat rudder, but that depends on perspective), and spots you about 100 meters away. He begins his pouncing, each bounce and your speed bringing you both rapidly towards each other. About 4 seconds before the berserker bunny is upon you, you give the signal. "Rarity, NOW!" Her horn begins to glow and, at the cost of some steering control for a moment, the cart goes through a massive burst of speed, completely going under the bunny mid-hop (that didn't stop him from swatting some of the decorative paint of the top of the carriage). The sun is now directly in your eyes; however, the same can be said for the hare-y mauler (What? They can't all be gems) behind you.

As you approach the mostly collapsed bridge, you can still hear the ominous thumping coming up fast; even the combined magic apparently wasn't enough to out-speed the very symbol of acceleration. "Rarity, on my count. ONE!" The exhausted snowy unicorn looked up at you, horn glowing brighter. You look back once more, seeing a shadow blocking the sun from the Doombunny. All the malice you see in those eyes unnerve you, almost to the point of missing the count. "TWO!" you yell once more, realizing the shadow is your own head, and that you would only get one shot at this. "THREE! NOW!" you yell, jerking your head in the cart and channeling every last bit of your dwindled magic into the shocks, Rarity doing the same. At first, you only hear some mild clicking and feel faint, thinking the gambit had failed. As you almost pass out, nearly resigned to your fate, the cart runs over a particularly large piece of wood from the ruined bridge.

The shock of the wood causes you to feel a massive eruption underneath you, which was compounded by the shock of Rarity clinging to you for dear life. As your own life flashes before your eyes (a feeling you are oddly becoming used to), you glance out the window and see the brash bunny sliding on the smooth surface of the chicken run, blinded by the explosion of your shocks. Apparently they blew up near the edge, as a series of cracks was forming right where it was sliding. In a frantic attempt of self preservation as it slid off, the mutant bunny tried biting on to the rope still dangling somehow. Unfortunately for the rabbit but joyously for you, the girth of the beast worked against it; it completely uprooted the pole that it had been tampering with earlier and fell into the abyss. The last thing you saw of it was it's attempts to grab the rope from it's mouth, accidentally severing it on the fearsome front teeth, sealing it's fate. Rarity's screaming is the thing that snaps you back to reality.

Fortunately, the carriage had some maneuverability in the air, and you get it to emergency land on a group of relatively young trees. This effectively tears one of your doors off, but an adrenaline burst (and a previously untapped magic source) managed to keep you and Rarity in the cart as it barrel rolled off of the trees and into a clearer area. You look down at the shaking pony in your hooves, still screaming even though you were at a complete stop. "Rarity?" you say, in an attempt to calm her down. She still keeps screaming, so you pat her back in a condoling way. Funny thing about near death situations; they always seem to make you forget about your personal awkwardness with touching others. As you continue to pat her, she calms down a bit and looks up at you. "Are we... Alive?" She's completely terrified, but you decide it's time to be a friend instead of a client. With a smile you say, "Yes, Rarity. We're safe." She gives you a brief smile, then commences passing out on top of you.

After propping her up as comfortably as you could on what remained of the cushioning, you put on the harness and start walking. Fortunately for you, it was a clear path from where you landed to the first signs of civilization, and to top it all off that last gambit with the rabbit-rouser took about 40 seconds (three minutes if you include the drama with Rarity and getting the harness on), and it was still relatively bright out. You start walking, deciding not to gamble on a run. As you mull over the events of the afternoon, you ramble out loud to yourself, "Geez, this is just
one..."


Once again, very sorry. I did not realize how long this thing was going to be and edited out a few things (but I still think it's a bit long).
>> No. 8693
>>8576
Well i thought the same thing after reading the question. i wish i could go in detail but my ability to spoil SUCKS! But that plan came to me right away. sorry Light :( if you want to count this as a death then go ahead. well off to bed for me.
>> No. 8695
hi if this doesn't work then i would try again & i'm sorry for bumping.
>> No. 8707
its like what des said but our hero will jump on top of the carriage and tie himself there(with the rope/chain that he use to move the carriage) and set off the stocks. now here the reason i pick this idea:1.somepony needs to control the carriage as it blast into the air. Rarity(most likely) will use her magic to make sure the carriage make it over&lands on the other side if the blast didn't launch them far. 2.Rarity can't be on top cause she afraid of heights and she'll freeze up, which will cause our hero to use his magic(if he still can). if he does use it and make it over then he'll have no energy left(running down the mountain and trying to stop the evil bunnies wasn't bad enough) if they need to take off again and Rarity can't move that carriage by herself. 3.being tied up there is big advantage since after they land, our hero won't waste time to move the carriage if they're attack again for some reason

i hope i explain it right and can be understand.
>> No. 8915
DON'T YOU 404 ON ME!
>> No. 8968
ANON POSTER DETECTED.
Seriously though sorry for how long it's taking. I'll try to work on it tonight.
Also, Rush, perhaps you should ignore your namesake and think things through a bit more.
Just sayin'.
>> No. 9111
>>8968
Whoops, my bad. Don't worry about the time, we still love you (all hetero) and will patiently wait.
>> No. 9348
K guys, so it's my birrthhhdayyyyyyy.
So yeah, just in case you guys are wondering why I'm taking such a long time to update.
Originally i hit a snag 'cause I was doing a vectors/physics question but then I realized that A) chances are you won't know what to do and B) *I* don't remember the formulas and I'm too lazy to actually make it.
So you get over the gap.
The End.
Not really, but you'll have to wait 'till I make an update before you find out what the grand finale is ^_^.
Also, self-serving save bump from the nether-regions of the board :/
>> No. 9349
File 130480686088.jpg - (31.48KB , 400x400 , baby cake.jpg )
9349
>>9348
DESTRUCTOCUS WISHES YOU A JOYFUL BIRTHDAY FULL OF CAKE AND WISHES TO INFORM YOU HIS OWN BIRTHDAY AN THE 11TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRING PRESENTS!!!!!!!!
HERE IS A CAKE THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY!!!!!
>> No. 9376
>>9348
Hey cool its my birthday on the 7th too :D
>> No. 9387
May seems to be pretty popular for birthdays XD.
>> No. 9410
>>9348
Happy birthday and YAY PHYSICS. How I love them so, but hate their math.
>> No. 9530
>>9348

Happy Birthday, indeed! May your parties be filled with pie. Pinkie Pie, for preference.

No one likes cake, Destructocus.
>> No. 10226
Bump of the titans.
>> No. 10241
HEY GUIS. I wrote another 4000 words! AND NONE OF THEM WAS FOR THE CYOA. Sorry guys. I should at least finish the chapter before I go on hiatus but I'm unreliable like that. Best part is that this is the only story of mine that's actually somewhat popular, go figure.
I haven't forgotten about you guys so just hold on a bit longer so that I can get out of this slump.
Also Destructocus, everyone knows that the cake is a lie.
>> No. 10296
Update! I found my muse hiding in my underwear drawer (I also found religion behind my desk but that's not the real matter at hand) and I've hammered out the ending with a true return to form. Expect an update by tommorow.
Also, I'm going to be going through the thread and tabulating death counts before sinking this beast. The story insofar will be put into Gdocs and a new thread will be made. This will be done for two reasons: I don't want it to autosage halfway through and to tidy things up.
>> No. 10356
>>10296
By ending, you mean ending to the chapter (and not the series), right?
>> No. 10373
>>10356
Yes, the chapter is now complete. The story is still ongoing.
>> No. 10408
File 130514424570.jpg - (82.42KB , 379x301 , exploding%20car%20explosion%20fire%20vehicle%20on.jpg )
10408
Fillies and Gentlecolts, I present to you the finished and definitive edition of Chapter 2! In addition to its new location you will also find Chapter 1 within the confines of this post. The story has been edited and formatted and is now awaiting your critical eye!

I will be making a new thread as well as another document detailing the rules shortly. From now on old chapters will be converted into Gdocs for archiving purposes whilst the current chapter will continue on whatever thread it is that I'm actively using.

Now then, without further adieu I present to you the finale of the Monstorous Mountain March!

Chapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11_D4Q8Gv8CuvMklxue4jeqLr0gK4DqoJk4N8D8LRImw/edit?hl=en#

Chapter 2, Act 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1blO6pYvZhOgtr8T5Oi5vCSykcXNnBtF3ve7rXmJkpgw/edit?hl=en#

Chapter 2, Act 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KMuLvXZl4PicTiPLeah9bUnYwR99vZIh68Vf7DEeu3s/edit?hl=en#
>> No. 10414
>>10408
DESTRUCTOCUS CHOOSES OPTION ONE!!!!!!!
DESTRUCTOCUS ALSO DESIRE'S CREDIT CARD NUMBER FOR IT IS DESTRUCTOCUS'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!
>> No. 10415
File 130514527930.jpg - (31.24KB , 333x335 , Burberry knight.jpg )
10415
>>10408

Well done, good sir, Well done! I, of course, choose choice number 2, and I eagerly await the arrival of the next thread.

As a knight, I have no need of this 'credit' of which you speak. I owe no one but my liege!
>> No. 10416
>>10415
>>10414
Of course you two are the first to answer XD.
>> No. 10423
With dignified grace I leave the sore loser to his temper tantrum.

This story is awesome and you should feel awesome. Thanks for taking your time to make this happen.
>> No. 10425
File 130514639734.jpg - (28.62KB , 371x700 , 694254-Medieval-Knight-in-Shining-Armour-Victory_v.jpg )
10425
>>10423

Ah ha! A point for the way of chivalry!
>> No. 10449
A bit late for the celebration, but here I am. And might I say, while crushing that hick's ego would be quite satisfying, I opted to take the high road.
Semi-related note, I will be looking for the new thread. Keep up the excellent work.
>> No. 10454
I chose number 2
>> No. 10455
File 130515920499.jpg - (88.27KB , 513x533 , Flutterbush.jpg )
10455
>>10454
>>10449
>>10415
IT SEEMS THAT WE ARE OVERRUN WITH FOOLISH VERMIN WHO REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THE SACRED RITUAL OF TAUNTING THE FALLEN FOE!!!!!
I SHALL HAVE YOUR HEADS FOR THIS DISPLAY OF WEAKNESS!!!
>> No. 10479
>>10455
Hey I'm like taunting like the next guy uh pony...broine? Anyway I'm not taunting a big ass bunny for the hell of it. But if I had a portal gun...let the fun begin.
>> No. 10599
Oh well, looks like the super-special bonus boss won't be happening.
I'll post up the rule sheet shortly, although chapter three may be a bit. Gotta get the layout for it planned.
>> No. 10815
I shall honour the defeated foe, spare him, and invite him to tea to discuss where he went wrong and how he can improve his tactics. (or, you know, at least give him the option of a rematch engineered to be completely overbalanced in my favour, like with some archers and a bomb or something.)
>> No. 10823
File 130530155145.jpg - (93.19KB , 324x824 , ZRneF.jpg )
10823
>>10815
Oooh, that's a very meta move. Destructocus would approve methinks.
>> No. 10890
The rules page is complete! Find it here on Gdocs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wqT6BJerQ2xWupzWqypuPNuWlTkWl-4BxHsLSA54zdE/edit?hl=en#

I have a little side project going right now so I may not update in a bit but instead of thinking that I've abandoned you think of it as a break to collect yourselves after the manic event that was chapter two!
>> No. 10921
>>10815

Harumph! How dishonorable!

In any case, the rules doc is fair and just, and explains the parameters of this game very well. good show, light!
>> No. 10925
>>10921
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HONOR!!!!! IT IS MERELY A FOOLISH CONCEPT MEANT TO COMFORT THE WEAK WHEN THEN ARE SOUNDLY DEFEATED!!!!!
I APPROVE OF IDEA OF BRINGING HIM BACK TO LIFE JUST TO HUMILIATE HIM AGAIN!!!
>> No. 10945
>>10890

Nicely done my fellow brony.
Now all I need is a partner. P:
>> No. 10955
>>10925
He isn't dead, so how can you bring him back to life?
>> No. 10973
>>10955
DESTRUCTOCUS THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE IDEA OF REVIVING THAT RABBIT IN ORDER TO FIGHT IT AGAIN WITH AN OVERWHELMING ADVANTAGE!!!!!
>> No. 11038
>>10973
Like giving it the hoof and watch it fail to clear the chasm or something?
>> No. 11354
File 130546803948.png - (102.46KB , 336x229 , 1z2h8jl.png )
11354
Well...
FUCK.
Millions and millions of spam messages!
>> No. 11355
>>11354
Why here though? I dont get it. Reported all already.
>> No. 11824
DESTRUCTO-BUMP!!
>> No. 11827
Sorry I'm taking so long with the update. I have severakl stories going at once.
I honestly tried to write some but the inspiration for this story is very sporadic. i promise I'll try again tommorow.
>> No. 12153
File 130571009499.jpg - (32.58KB , 400x513 , Bard.jpg )
12153
>>10921

Oh, the massive advantage is only me being Crazy Prepared for if he decides that he'd rather kill me than discuss his failings.
Come to think of it, I'll just invite Fluttershy.
>> No. 13374
Bump.
Not dead guys, just uninspired. I wrote anopther 1000 words but I was so dissapointed with them I tossed it.
Should I just give you updates, even if they're terrible and lack the whimsical non-chalent humor of the beginning?
>> No. 13391
>>13374
I have a suggestion for an event. Rainbow Dash sees Rarity roughed up from the events that previously transpired and jumps to a conclusion, also, she sees the bunny corpses and knows that we were the ones that killed Fluttershy's prized bunnies. So now we must fight Rainbow Dash and the Rainbow Dashers.
>> No. 13599
>>13391
...
Wut.
These were most certainly NOT Fluttershy's bunnies. Also, Rainbow Dashers?
>> No. 13757
>>13391

I agree with Dash jumping to conclusions, but on the condition that it's because we're bringing back a roughed up Rarity and, assuming she knows Onyx's "situation," assumes the worst and attacks. Or something.

Jumping to conclusions without the fact strikes me as in character. Plus, that whole "Element of Loyalty" thing might blur her judgement when her friend comes back with a felon, on hoof (provided she knows about the carriage), and injured to some extent.

Or I could be completely off again and am reading too far into this at 1 in the morning.

Last, but not least, take your time. I cannot stress that enough. I have seen far too many good projects fall because of burnout.
>> No. 14490
Hit my muse. I should have the new part up by tommorow hopefully. Let's hope it sticks around for a while this time.
Anyways, wanna kep this tread alive a little longer so that I can tabulate the current death total.
However, if somepony wants to earn a special item or bonus they could do it for me.... Just putting that out there ;P
>> No. 14649
>>14490
The death summary:
Destructocus: 1 (apparently)
Lumberjack Commando: 1
Sir Leadhead: 1
DeevFactor: 1
Moose: 1
Cyberfox: 1
Axquirix Marcus Nightwing: 2
CELESTIA DAMNIT, I'M LAST OUT OF THE WHOLE THREAD!
I blame my failures upon the preposterously proportions of my pony profile's periferals, as both my deaths have been due to physical misgivings.
I include a picture of the form I am more accustomed to.
>> No. 14652
File 130635014719.jpg - (51.66KB , 600x777 , Toothless.jpg )
14652
>>14649
Whoops, forgot the actual picture!
>> No. 14658
>>14649
WHAT!!??? WHEN HAS THE MIGHTY DESTRUCTOCUS DIED!!!??? I DO NOT REMEMBER SUCH AN EVENT HAPPENING!! YOUR MEMORY IS A WEAK AND FRAIL AS A NEW BORN BABY!!
>> No. 14661
>>14649
I don't think Destructocus OR Sir Leadhead have died...

>>14658
Indeed.
>> No. 14662
>>14649
I never died.

Its still on.
>> No. 14663
>>14649
>>14658

For once, I and that boorish lout over there are in agreement. Neither of us has died a single time. Of course, everyone makes mistakes, don't take it too hard.
>> No. 14675
>>14658
see
>>8449

Sorry, though our author was tallying deaths in that post. Upon closer inspection, he's not.
And I was sure that leadhead died somehwhere...
>> No. 14677
>>14675

Nope! I remain steadfast with my alive-ness to this very day! The first to fall will, of course, be my foe, but neither of us have fallen yet.
>> No. 14679
>>14677
FOOLISH KNIGHT!!! DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE YOU CAN OUTLAST THE MIGHT "DESTRUCTOCUS THE OUTLASTER"??

YOU ARE EVEN MORE FOOLISH THAN I THOUGHT!! I SHALL FEAST ON YOUR CORPSE!!!
>> No. 14682
>>14679
That quit th titl yo hav ther, sonn. To ba yo forgo th las lette o 'might'

*raises eyebrow mockingly*

what that translates to is: That's quite the title you have there, sonny. Too had you forgot the last letter of 'mighty'.
>> No. 14684
>>14682
THAT'S JUST- THAT'S NOT- GRRRRR!!!! MIGHTY IS NOT PART OF THE TITLE!!!!! I WILL CRUSH YOU!!!!
>> No. 14693
File 130635854826.jpg - (94.14KB , 945x945 , knight-vs-mystery-dragon-299-p.jpg )
14693
Have at thee, foe! I shall be victorious!
>> No. 14780
I love you guys ^_^.
Well, in a bro kind of way.
Actually, I just fear for my life when DESTRUCTOCUS is around.
But it's a good kind of fear.
>> No. 14856
*distracted by Destructocus and Sir Leadhead*

...Hm? Oh, right. I haven't died yet either.
AIM FOR THE GLOWING WEAK SPOT SIR KNIGHT!
EVERYONE LIKE HIM HAS ONE!
>> No. 14863
File 130638251118.jpg - (198.07KB , 700x596 , robot-rampaging.jpg )
14863
>>14856
>IMPLYING I WOULD HAVE SUCH AN OBVIOUS WEAKNESS!!!
>> No. 14935
>>14863

All robots have a weakness.
Even Terminators and their ilk. (kinda)
>> No. 14972
File 130642982610.jpg - (616.19KB , 1114x946 , Don-Quixote-Windmill.jpg )
14972
>>14863

A weak spot! Yes, that is the key to defeating this kind of ilk! Fantastic idea!

*looks for a weak spot*

Hmm... you seem to have hidden yours, noble foe. Well played...
>> No. 14979
My money is on the knight. Shoot the head, wait thats zombies...shoot it anyway!
>> No. 14980
>>14979

Shoot? Good sir, I am a man of lance and sword, not some peasant with a crossbow! The nerve...

Still, those pesky crossbows are something you have to watch out for. A peasant with two hours training with one can take down a knight who has spent his life training with the sword. Quite unfair, if you ask me.
>> No. 14981
>>14980
THAT IS BECAUSE KNIGHTS ARE WEAK AND PUNY!!! THE MIGHTY DESTRUCTOCUS WOULD NEVER BE DEFEATED BY EVEN 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 PUNY PEASANTS!!!!!
>> No. 14982
>>14980
Your making me rethink me bet on you ironsides, you can just chuck your sword at it if you don't want to use any of the bows.
>> No. 14983
File 130643397602.jpg - (5.33KB , 160x160 , knight crest.jpg )
14983
>>14981

At least I admit and embrace my weaknesses, Destructocus. Whereas you are obviously in denial about yours. Everybody has a weakness.

Of course, weaknesses are often balanced by strengths. And a good duel is not one based on weaknesses, but on strength! Have at thee!
>> No. 14985
File 130643411761.jpg - (22.39KB , 300x420 , 111053-150925-megatron_large.jpg )
14985
>>14983
MY STRENGTHS ARE MY ACTUAL PHYSICAL STRENGTH, LASERS AND A LACK OF WEAKNESSES!!!
>> No. 14989
File 130643472057.jpg - (30.73KB , 400x400 , knight_vs_robot.jpg )
14989
>>14985

That is impressive. But I am bolstered by chivalry and truth! My sword carries the weight of nobility as it strikes, and it cannot fail! Huzzah!
>> No. 14994
>>14985
>>14989
Is it me? Or did we enter Monty Python mode? Oh well, I'm looting the body that doesn't move anymore, might get a pretty penny.
>> No. 15006
>>14994
Quick, use a Holy Hand grenade!
5:00, that's when I'll be uploading the prelude to chapter three. Keep on your toes peeps!
Still have to get around to going through the thread to count deaths before making the new thread though...
>> No. 15040
File 130644566485.jpg - (11.60KB , 189x174 , medieval knight.jpg )
15040
>>15006

I eagerly await the next chapter!
>> No. 15084
Well fuck me sideways; I forgot my USB cable.
Nevertheless I WILL be posting it soon. My apologizes for yet another delay in this haphazard production.
>> No. 15110
File 130645626348.jpg - (20.81KB , 605x375 , 1.jpg )
15110
GO LEADHEAD! He has to have a maintenance panel on him or something!

Thread related statement, I can't wait for the new chapter. 8D
>> No. 15136
Current deaths:
Lumberjack commando: 1
Axquirex: 2
Deevfactor: 1
Moose: 1
Cyberfox: 1
Destructocus: 0
Sir Leadhead: 0

I was only counting deaths and Sir Leadhead/DESTRUCTOCUS since they're the two most... animated members of the story ^_^.
If I missed you please feel free to add your name to the list.
With this done there's nothing stopping me from sinking this thread. As soon as I've loaded the next chapter up on a new thread this one is to be left to wither and die, K?
>> No. 15194
Story time!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tfnEn6A8L86cpwH9VrLIcGP6sSBdf8trNBS7k5riHN0/edit?hl=en_US#
>> No. 15290
I cast Inspire Courage on Sir Leadhead!

Ow my nose! Wait, these are words!

...And are we gonna get to see all the cast break the fourth wall sooner or later?
>> No. 15321
File 130652267655.jpg - (3.97KB , 143x84 , knight looking.jpg )
15321
>>15194

Hmm... I cant seem to locate the new thread... or have you made one yet?
>> No. 15331
Haven't made it yet. Gotta get some stuff prepared.
And I like to procrastinate, that too.
>> No. 15481
Hey, those of you who read the new chapter, did you guys find it funny?
>> No. 15490
>>15481
It was ok, bit overdone for my taste,no bonusses for me forever! jk but ok.
>> No. 15502
>>15481

Why yes I did. It held all of your usual fun wordplay.

Also, the bit with Rarity breaking the 4th wall and Onyx playing it off as her being nuts (I'm assuming here) was priceless.
>> No. 16709
>>15991
God-fucking-damn spam. Why is it only my thread gets hit with it?'
Anyways, I've got an internet friend (Or perhaps aquaintence would fit better, but I digress) who's making a picture of Onyx for me!
Check it out here - http://inspectornills.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3h7gl7
Make sure to heap faves on him (While promising him of the same more if he finishes it up faster!)!
I'm waiting for him to finish it so that I can use it for my thread's picture. Once it's done I'll get started on Chapter 3 in earnest.
Also, I don't think he's read the story yet so make sure to extoll it's virtues ;) .
>> No. 16739
Hey Light! I was thinking of making one of my own kinda ones. Except the difference would be I would allow the ponies in here to vote and choose what happens. So I would like give them five options, an hour or two to vote and decided (etc), then write the next part.

I was also thinking of making it have like certain perks and the like. Like if you bring Twilight along with you on your adventure She would be able to like say stop you from chowing down on Poison Joke, but if a big boulder needed to be pushed out of your way which would open up a safer path you can't do it with her, only with Applejack. Etc etc.
>> No. 16755
>>16739
There are points where I let the players vote for which path to take. I avoid too many of them since it slows down the process and the story is centered on simply having the lowest par-for-the-course (In regards to the number of deaths) and having an interesting story.
Simply put, substance over style.

However, I'm glad that my story has inspired TWO people to make thier own interpretations ^_^.
>> No. 16757
>>16755
Well it's up right now if you want to go and take a peek at it. I'm thinking a once a day sort of thing perhaps.
>> No. 18309
File 130723025057.jpg - (146.86KB , 1000x700 , knight forgreatjustice.jpg )
18309
bamp for great justice!

Are you still continuing this, good sir? Has the new thread been posted?
>> No. 18341
>>18309
Not just yet. I'm prepping to release it to EqD right now and making some last minute adjustments. My time is also being split by another story.
HOWEVER, I have NOT forgotten or abandoned this story. I know where I want to go with this chapter but not how to get there.
The new thread will also double as a repository for my other stories since having two threads seems excessive.
>> No. 18345
>>18341

Sounds good. You can ask us for ideas you know. Just sayin'.

Though in hindsight that would be a figurative Russian roulette...
>> No. 22847
So I assume this project is dead then?
>> No. 22856
>>22847
No, indefinte hiatus. I'm having a huge writer's block right now and I'm starting a planning process for this. I fully intend to pick it up again once I have my shit in order. Sorry for the wait.
>> No. 36607
File 131238594190.png - (38.13KB , 191x208 , H96.png )
36607
Hello?(-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo...)

....BUMP!
>> No. 36732
Woah, somebody necroed this?
Well, if anyone is interested, all of the chapters have been updated with comments to the side that serve as the answers, meaning that they're no longer visible. I also plan on updating the rules. Progress remains slow due to my numerous other projects but, again, I have NOT abandoned this. In fact, it will be recieving a cameo in my current fic Story With Occasional Editor, which can be found here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14L6sI44HPt8Adg3n1nP4SVGHcbrhLNz5Qazu3vnAOno/edit?hl=en_US#

Sorry for the stupid wait guys. I'm a terrible, terrible person to follow and I know it.
>> No. 37968
>>36732

Wow, wasn't expecting a response. YAY CAMEO.

Also, you're not a terrible person, just an encumbered one.
>> No. 37970
>>37968
I'm thinking about moving the story to here:
http://fillydelphia.com/iss/
If somebody did it for me, though, they would recieve many delicious rewards ^_^.
>> No. 38022
File 131283415769.jpg - (76.72KB , 500x315 , H110.jpg )
38022
>>37970

I don't know if I can.

But I am damn sure going to try.

FOR THE DELICIOUS TREATS! (pic unrelated)
>> No. 38033
>>37970

Update!

I am willing to upload everything that is currently done.

I just need your permission (if only for my own conscience) to do so. Everything will be copied from the G-Docs that you posted earlier.
>> No. 38052
>>38033
Feel free. Just link it here so I can check it out.
Did you put in italics and stuff?
>> No. 38261
>>38052

http://fillydelphia.com/iss/page.php?page=1&story=9

A work in progress at the time of posting. Hopefully I managed to get everything linked correctly. I've only done this one other time. Do inform me if I missed anything.
>> No. 38270
Wait a second, after reading further into the rules of the site I found something that might put a wrench in the works.


Why no lethal force?



You could say that PG would allow some of that that, but the lack of lethal force is to keep in the spirit of the show. While there may be the threat of danger at some points. Nopony ever gets hurt or dies. The same will be true here. We aren't changing that.

And something almost as likely to blow this up:

Why no shipping (implied or otherwise) with canon characters?



They need to be free to be played as they are in the show. On top of that, they're sometimes played by multiple people. It's also so that they're free to interact with others. And shipping only applies to relationshipping or predetermined relationship. If you're interested in shipping with other OCs, there's nothing against you doing so. Just keep PDAs within the guidelines of the general rule.

...I'll finish the origins part, but I think that's about all I can post there and stay within the current rules.



tl;dr No death allowed, no shipping of any sort. Pretty much breaks the knees and busts the balls of the story so far (save for the beginning).
>> No. 38276
>>38270
Post it anyways if you feel like it, but if they bitch about it just say "screw you guys."
Honestly, there's no stories that are worh reading on it. They should be taking what they can get at this point >_>
I was so dissapointed when I couldn't find any good CYOAs to read in there.
>> No. 38280
>>38276

Bah, it's hardly worth the effort at this point.

Linking is both A.) time consuming and B.) unreliable, as all the links get jumbled when you reload a page.

Plus some of the mods are touchy. I apparently missed a few too many swear words for it to stay PG and caught crap for it. Fixed now (by which I mean I logged out).

Times like this I kinda wish equestria daily had an "interactive" section.
>> No. 38282
>>38280
Wow, that's stupid. They have nothing worth reading there and they turn mine away because it has swears (I can't even remember where I put swears in...)?

Ah well. To anybody who's browsing around, do you know where one could make a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style story on the web?
>> No. 38293
>>38282
It would be easier than you think to do an HTML version and just host it on Google Sites or Dropbox or something.
>> No. 38321
>>38293
I've never done something like that before...
Are there any fool-proof guides for it?
>> No. 39465
File 131312326640.jpg - (44.82KB , 640x360 , SparkleRarity.jpg )
39465
>>38321
Surely you mean foal-proof? ;D
>> No. 39466
>>39465
That can't be access by very small horses? I think the lack of thumbs takes care of that.....
now seriously people, ponyfying everything is stupid and in this case it doesn't even make sense....
>> No. 39467
>>39465
But it's fools in general that would need proofing against.

Foals are the least of your problems.
>> No. 39477
>>39465
I know what I said you ignorant foal fool!
Trololol.
>> No. 40077
File 131330205520.doc - (29.00KB , Investigate THIS.doc )
40077
A fun little side project to try my hand at misleading descriptions, staring Princess Luna and Onyx Origins in a "Shipping" fic. Groaners ahoy!
Figured I'd post this so people have proof that this is still going. Enjoy!
>> No. 43804
Time for a little necrothreading. Any news about an easier way to show the story?
>> No. 43808
The fact that people keep necroing my thread, I suppose, is a good sign that I'm at least a decent writer.
So far, nothing much. I tried writing again, but DE MAGICS that made the first couple chapters so great is eluding me; I tossed out 1000 words a week ago.
However, I might have some exciting news; when he's done his story, a PonyChan friend of mine might be helping me make this into a proper game! I'll keep you guys posted on any developments in the meantime.
>> No. 52166
Time for some anti-404'ing.

Any developments?
>> No. 52167
File 131683602317.jpg - (1.04MB , 1871x1023 , onyx_origins_designs_by_alexrockclimber-d4a6wvb.jpg )
52167
>>52166
Well, I've gotten a guy to make some pictures for the death bits, actually. I'll post them up for you guys to look at. On the story side of things, no. Stop making me feel so guilty! I'm really sorry about letting you people (and ponies) down like this.

If you guys want the pictures seperate without the big lettering on it I can post them up. I just don't want to spam the thread with five successive posts, is all.
Oh, and make sure to give the artist some love! - http://alexrockclimber.deviantart.com/#/d4a6wvb
>> No. 52210
My gawd, I just looked at the OP pic, then realized what it was about. Pinkie's caption is "You shouldn't have done that," and it also applied wholesale to my having given that picture a second glance.
>> No. 56800
Necro-threading has commenced.

...Necro-threading, completed.

Any news?
>> No. 56830
>>56800
Please stop bumping. When I make a new chapter, I will create a new thread for it. Until that time, plese let this sink.
>> No. 70358
>>70335
WHY WON'T PEOPLE JUST LET THIS THREAD DIE!?
>> No. 121839
>>70358
Congratulations, Luc. You've secured the position of "oldest thread on /fic/."
>> No. 121845
File 134987528257.jpg - (56.72KB , 900x654 , onyx_origins_by_inspectornills-d3hyu07.jpg )
121845
>>121839
Did you bump it to say that?
>> No. 121846
File 134987664593.png - (378.86KB , 900x654 , Onyx Party.png )
121846
>>121845
Well, I suppose it's as good of a reason to celebrate as any.
>> No. 121855
>>121845
I did not, no. Spambot, I imagine.
>> No. 128121
>>121846

I'm sorry to be a bother but is this story still underway? If it is already done is there some way to get to it? Yes I do know the thread has been dead for almost a year, I'm just wondering if I can continue reading your great literature.
[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [First 100 posts]


Delete post []
Password    
Report post
Reason