Alright, after a little revision, here's the escape plan 2.0
You look down at the psychotic cottontail as it starts to decimate your only visible means of escape. You feel a massive shudder as your last ray of hop is torn up and partially falls into the endless abyss below. The Bunnynator is looking at the last beam supporting the bridge, almost looking pensive as to whether leave it there to fall on it's own or uproot it like he did the other. You take this opportunity to formulate a plan.
"Rarity." you say, your brain working overtime, "do you think we can jump that?" She raises an eyebrow at you. "What do you mean, dear?" You point your horn at the Hillbunny, who seems to be poking the beam in order to speed up it's natural uprooting. "Look. It's preoccupied. I think we may be able to overload the shocks and cross the chasm, since I don't feel particularly confident in attempting a balancing act on the only rope left." She bit her lip in thought. "I don't know darling, do you think it's... Safe?" You shake your head. She looks at the Abunnynation, then back at you. "Alright, but how are we going to do that without you... You know..." She gestures to your harness which, in all the frustration and panicked planning, you almost forgot you were wearing. You take it off and get blinded by the glint off of it caused by the setting sun. Then, a plan hits you that is so crazy and brilliant. you almost can't believe that you hadn't thought about it.
"Alright, just thought of how we're gonna get across and handle the rodent problem." you exclaim confidently, marred only by the slight voice crack in "rodent." Rarity raises an eyebrow as you hop into the carriage, then proceed to explain it to her in close quarters.
You jam your head out the side of the cart, mustering up the last reserves of your magical prowess to get the cart going at nearly full speed toward the narrowest portion of the chasm; unfortunately, this is in the general area of the bridge. The Haremaker looks up from the post that it was pressing it's foot upon (more like a boat rudder, but that depends on perspective), and spots you about 100 meters away. He begins his pouncing, each bounce and your speed bringing you both rapidly towards each other. About 4 seconds before the berserker bunny is upon you, you give the signal. "Rarity, NOW!" Her horn begins to glow and, at the cost of some steering control for a moment, the cart goes through a massive burst of speed, completely going under the bunny mid-hop (that didn't stop him from swatting some of the decorative paint of the top of the carriage). The sun is now directly in your eyes; however, the same can be said for the hare-y mauler (What? They can't all be gems) behind you.
As you approach the mostly collapsed bridge, you can still hear the ominous thumping coming up fast; even the combined magic apparently wasn't enough to out-speed the very symbol of acceleration. "Rarity, on my count. ONE!" The exhausted snowy unicorn looked up at you, horn glowing brighter. You look back once more, seeing a shadow blocking the sun from the Doombunny. All the malice you see in those eyes unnerve you, almost to the point of missing the count. "TWO!" you yell once more, realizing the shadow is your own head, and that you would only get one shot at this. "THREE! NOW!" you yell, jerking your head in the cart and channeling every last bit of your dwindled magic into the shocks, Rarity doing the same. At first, you only hear some mild clicking and feel faint, thinking the gambit had failed. As you almost pass out, nearly resigned to your fate, the cart runs over a particularly large piece of wood from the ruined bridge.
The shock of the wood causes you to feel a massive eruption underneath you, which was compounded by the shock of Rarity clinging to you for dear life. As your own life flashes before your eyes (a feeling you are oddly becoming used to), you glance out the window and see the brash bunny sliding on the smooth surface of the chicken run, blinded by the explosion of your shocks. Apparently they blew up near the edge, as a series of cracks was forming right where it was sliding. In a frantic attempt of self preservation as it slid off, the mutant bunny tried biting on to the rope still dangling somehow. Unfortunately for the rabbit but joyously for you, the girth of the beast worked against it; it completely uprooted the pole that it had been tampering with earlier and fell into the abyss. The last thing you saw of it was it's attempts to grab the rope from it's mouth, accidentally severing it on the fearsome front teeth, sealing it's fate. Rarity's screaming is the thing that snaps you back to reality.
Fortunately, the carriage had some maneuverability in the air, and you get it to emergency land on a group of relatively young trees. This effectively tears one of your doors off, but an adrenaline burst (and a previously untapped magic source) managed to keep you and Rarity in the cart as it barrel rolled off of the trees and into a clearer area. You look down at the shaking pony in your hooves, still screaming even though you were at a complete stop. "Rarity?" you say, in an attempt to calm her down. She still keeps screaming, so you pat her back in a condoling way. Funny thing about near death situations; they always seem to make you forget about your personal awkwardness with touching others. As you continue to pat her, she calms down a bit and looks up at you. "Are we... Alive?" She's completely terrified, but you decide it's time to be a friend instead of a client. With a smile you say, "Yes, Rarity. We're safe." She gives you a brief smile, then commences passing out on top of you.
After propping her up as comfortably as you could on what remained of the cushioning, you put on the harness and start walking. Fortunately for you, it was a clear path from where you landed to the first signs of civilization, and to top it all off that last gambit with the rabbit-rouser took about 40 seconds (three minutes if you include the drama with Rarity and getting the harness on), and it was still relatively bright out. You start walking, deciding not to gamble on a run. As you mull over the events of the afternoon, you ramble out loud to yourself, "Geez, this is just
Once again, very sorry. I did not realize how long this thing was going to be and edited out a few things (but I still think it's a bit long).