To whoever controls the form and spreadsheet: Please add a "Just dropping off my idea so someone else can use it" option to the checklist.

>>106452
...Or clarifying what "Choose what you're asking" entails, since "Story idea" isn't really something to ask for if you're using the form.

>>106452
>>106453
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFEoMO0pc7k

Er, I mean, sure thing. Right after I make a new sheet for v7, and I have some more time, and my brain matter congeals enough to do so after this mad week of RTFM, impatient people, multiple series of tubes, and frantic Rockstar-powered excursions in Google land, which may actually end soon.

What? It's Tuesday? FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

hey there everypony; for some time now i've been considering writing some lovecraftian pony fanfic stories, but the thing is: i've never written any sort of stories before outside of school, years ago. so if any of you would like to give me some advice for what is basically a first time writer, it'd really help.

aside from this, i've also got a dilemma concerning which town i should have my first story take place in. at first i was thinking i'd use Trottingham, but as far as i can recall, nothing really concrete has been said about that town, and i don't want to write all about the town, and then see the town show up in season 3 and be completely different from what i've written. so if anyone has any suggestions for a town, i'd be really appreciative.

thanks in advance for any help given :)

Wow, I didn't realize this thread ran a queue.

>>106477
It's less of a queue and more of a "shit guys, there is a shit ton of stuff here" list.

>>106477
same here; i just barely missed the last iteration with my above post

>>106478
Yeah, sort of.

I gave its rationale somewhere in the last thread. Basically, ideas and questions are easily lost in the thread after a while.

So, here's a crazy idea:

The Ice King write a fanfiction about MLP. He's already written a FanFiction about Finn and Jake.

Huh? Yeah?... Anyone?

>>106486
Except it should be Crysalis.

>>106486
Or where he uses his magic powers to capture some of the ponies. What he didn't learn from Finn and Jake he will learn from the pony rescue party that defeats his ice magic like the wendigos.

>>106492
I should just completely cross over AT and MLP at that point, which may actually work. The Land of Ooo is just a small island continent according to the creators, and takes place over 1000 years after the 'Mushromm War'. Maybe Princess Celestia is actually a result of a nuclear fallout, like how Marcellene most likely was just a girl during the war but is now a 1000 year old vampire.

It's crazy, I know, but I legitimately don't know which show is better in my opinion: Adventure Time or MLP?
>>106489
She's not silly enough. She's like an ACTUAL villain. Ice King is just a crazy old man who wants to marry a princess... Princess Celestia... It fits so perfectly.

>>106493
Hmm, point.
Perhaps she teams up with him, planning to backstab him at some point? Except he backstabs her first, then combines Celestia, Luna, Cadance with Chrysalis' power a la that monster princess episode.

>It's crazy, I know, but I legitimately don't know which show is better in my opinion: Adventure Time or MLP?
I'm not sure. Adventure Time has its moment, but the more I watch it, the less it makes me laugh :| .

Peggy Hill is called by Celestia to substitute for Cherilee and teaches Spanish to the ponies.

The End.

>>106493
>It's crazy, I know, but I legitimately don't know which show is better in my opinion: Adventure Time or MLP?

I've noticed the AT is better in small doses, IMO.

Being the hopeless Dislestia shipper that I am, is there anyone out there who'd be interested in writing a DiscordxCelestia story that isn't OMGTRAGIC. Or at least somewhat refreshing.

I'd do it myself, but I have no idea what I'd write about.

>Adventure Time vs MLP
I imagine them both being at equal heights, perched upon stacks of the slain corpses of similar cartoons.

MLP:FiM is a rare good MLP cartoon because it's got heart. Adventure Time's a rare good modern, random-weirdness-based cartoon because it's got heart. They're both counterparts of each other in slightly different genres, and they both stand as the best examples of their genres because you can plainly see how much love and effort has gone into the setting and characters of each one. The secret is fancy mathematics.

I could write essays about Ice King.

>>106537
>Shipping story
>Refreshing

I think you've missed the boat by about an entire year. I think the fandom should focus less on shipping IMO, but every once in a while you will find a good shipping story that breaks away from the mass abomination that is the pool of generic shipfics

I personally don't see why people ship Celestia and Discord. 'They're opposing characters, MUST HAVE TOTALLY DATED'

>>106540
I can agree on that.

Ice King is best king.

>>106537
How exactly would you propose a Discord x Celestia story be anything but tragic, exactly? The ending is set in canon: Celestia casts him into stone.

>>106541
But Discord didn't exist a year ago... :(

And I enjoy shipping them because they're my two favorite characters. There isn't much logic behind it for me, just lulz.

>>>106540
Adventure Time is awesome because it's that new breed of show where the crew is communicating with it's audience through the web. It's created by those who were <i>raised</i> on the web. And while I can only take so much lolrandom, I do thoroughly enjoy it when I watch it.

>pic= Adventure Time

>>106545
It doesn't <i>have</i> to end with Celestia trapping Discord in stone; it could just a stupid and fluffy romantic comedy for all I care.

Yes, the tragedy is still there, but not the focus of the story, basically.

What if Discord was her lover who ended up sacrificing himself in order to save Equestria, but as a result, was corrupted and changed into his current form, with only fragments of his memory still there. Because he can't even remember who Celestia is and he essentially goes under a personality change from whatever corrupted him, he takes over Equestria until Celestia and Luna use the Elements on him, etc.. You know the story from there.

I don't know, Discord always just seemed to strike me as a character with way more back story than we're actually told, to the point he could've been a different person entirely.

>>106551
I'm trying to find the story, but it's been done.

>>106537
>>106541
>>106545
>>106546
>>106547
:33< you're welcome!

>>106552

Alright, then Discord was actually a piece of clay who was given a form by Celestia or her parents or some shit. She/They/Whoever modeled it after their favorite animals but then Discord gained sentience after coming in contact with dark magic or something. Boom, Frankenstein type shit goes does and Discord supplants everypony and fucks them all over and becomes ruler of Equestria by stealing the powers from various legends such as Tirek, Grogar, and all those other dastardly bastards.

Eventually, Celestia and Luna team up and screw him over, and the rest is already known.

Someone made a rather funny suggestion on /show/ saying Discord and Celestia started dating just to prove to Luna that they could.

That'd be pretty funny story right there...

>>106556
My head canon says Discord used to be known as Chaos, and created the very universe. Just like his name suggests though, his personality and objectives constantly evolve and mutate. Before, he was the kind of chaos that causes evolution and creation, later he becomes the sort of chaos that self-destructs and destroys everything around it. Recognizing he would eventually become so twisted as to destroy his own creations, he strips himself of as much power as he can and uses it to create Celestia and Luna, who embody order. So begins a delicate balancing act between order where, it if ruled, the world would be static (as evidenced by the animals not being independant and the weather having to be manipulated manually), and chaos, which would cause the collapse of civilization.

Alright. I didn't get any feedback from last thread, so I'll have to repeat it, although shorten it up.
The basic plot points are:

>Fic starts out like a typical CMC episode, they try a bunch of new stuff to get their marks but to no avail
>Focus on Applebloom who grows more and more impatient, goes to see Zecora about it
>Zecora says no but lets it slip that a witch doctor called Tartarin, who operates in the same field as Zecora herself, could help Applebloom, however she advises her against even meeting him and kicks her out for her own good
>Applebloom manages to get his location out of an unaware Twilight
>Goes there, meets him, he tricks her into getting a cutie mark for a ridiculous sum of money she has to pay back in like a month + the fact she can never go back to Ponyville, and if she breaks the contract by not paying back or going back to Ponyville, he'll come for her and take away her soul to use as payment
>Applebloom agrees, gets her cutie mark and has to work in some snowy town selling matchsticks
>Meets a bunch of new friends - two poor homeless fillies and a middle-aged stallion who has been in debt with Tartarin for years and is, like her, a month away from having his deal expire
>MEANWHILE IN PONYVILLE
>Everyone is worried sick about Applebloom's disappearence and implied death, Applejack is the one who takes it the least well, and even with the help of her friends and family she's turning into a recluse
>Applebloom manages to write a letter to Ponyville only telling everyone that she's fine and what she did, although not giving away her location.
>Barely a week before the deadline, Applebloom decides to run back to Ponyville with her new friends
>Tartarin finds out and is fucking pissed, disguises as Zecora to sneak into Ponyville to get her and the other stallion in debt
>Big Macintosh learns of it and it's mostly a big race to get to Applebloom before Tartarin does. Things go awry, Tartarin takes Applebloom as the stallion pays off his debt just in time
>Tartarin starts to use his powers to wreck havok on Ponyville, Celestia is called in and Tartarin convinces her to give up her own soul to save Applebloom and all of Ponyville
>He steals her tiara, aka her powers, and goes One Winged Angel, taking over Equestria
>Final fight ends up in a huge chase on the train tracks to Canterlot
>Tartarin gets run over by the god damn train and dies

Aaaand that's it, I guess. I didn't get any feedback, so I'm not sure if the story is going in a right direction or not. I'm imagining the character of Tartarin as a villain not quite on the scale of Discord, but more of Nightmare Moon or Chrysalis. If I had to, I would call him a cocktail mixing both Chrysalis, Bill Sykes, and Judge Doom.

As for Applebloom's friends, I've decided to call them Pollux and Castor. Both a guy and a girl. They're counterparts to the CMC, but with different personalities. Pollux is a hard, optimistic worker and will never give up, while Castor is sort of a cynic, although Applebloom's arrival lowers his pessimism. The stallion isn't all that important. He's just a scumbag.

Pic is related: It's what I imagine Tartarin to look like. Basically, an evil Zecora. It's not art, but it helps to have a visual representation of a scene when writing it. Although, truth be told, if I could draw, I would make it a comic.

>>106541
you seem to be overlooking a huge plot device used in several movies shows and book series's today. The main villain and main patriarch of the story tend to have a history together, which is often a tragic romance. My headcannon has become the comic series, Discordant, which I'm certain is the source of all this CelestiaxDiscord shipping. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9r_R1e3R9E

So I posted this in the other thread but got no responses...

Conversion Bureau from the point of view of an HLF insurgent. RAther than being a Saturday morning cartoon villian, I aim to present them as something more than this universe's stand-in for communist Nazi-Jews

Set up: Around 1/3rd of the first world (NA, Europe, parts of Asia) have been ponified. Although there is a lot of mixing in communities, there is a lot of tension growing as the only people still human are the ones who are negative to the idea of being turned (many people turned because friends/relatives had, domino effect and such) or are being annoyed by attitudes of the 'turned'. Eventually, a group of humans who resist the growing influence of Equestria eventually form into the HLF, especially after rumors of the PER doing... you know... stuff like hiding potion bombs in pinatas and such. This is a while into the conflict, so the HLF is known about, but propaganda has them painted as they do in many other fics. I aim to challenge that.

Basic story: Main character, Jack (better name?), rescues a scientist who worked on the original ponification serum, but he turns out to be a pony. This is important because, as opposed to former humans (often referred to as "turned"), they're basically humans in a pony body. So, Jack plans to find a way to somehow save humanity, such as making a humanization serum, making humans magic-proof, and other things like that. He succeeds partially (enchanting spell by the scientist), and infiltrates Equestria past the magical barrier. He comes back and forms a pro-human group among ponies ("Not Alone sub-universe part crossover) that eventually reaches the top, as in Princess Luna, who wishes to do something about the whole genocide thing. However, the fic ends as Jack is captured and Rainbow Dash and Luna are personally overseeing his ponification. Ending speech leaves some... 'dangerous' ideas in Rainbow's head, while Luna discretely nods her head in acknowledgement that she'll do her part in the plan.

Other facts:
-Turned are ghosts of their former selves, and lack many aspects of their personality, and are essentially new people ("When you fundamentally change the hardware but keep the software, somethin's bound to fuck up!"), but 'off'. In fact, the only emotions they are capable of only "positive" emotions. Things such as sadness or anger do not form, and depressing situations are barely met by batted eyes.
-Ponification serum is only effective when ingested or inhaled at first, but eventually is made able to turn on contact. In the beginning of the story, gas masks are enough but the characters are soon forced to wear full body suits (mental images being in line with Fallout's Ranger armor and WH40k's Death Korps of Krieg) to remain immune.
-As revealed by the scientist, the "humans don't have souls" thing is actually total horseshit to try and use fear to make humans convert. However, the lack of magic thing is totally legit.

So, thoughts?

>>106592
>Implying that plot device used in modern movies and novels is the sure thing between Celestia and Discord

It says in the show that Celestia and Luna rose up to him after he caused so much distress in Equestria. This doesn't mean they were tied together. It just means 'Bad guy, good guys rise up against bad guy'. Could they have been dating at one time? There's nothing in canon that contradicts this, but I think it's just the old fashioned story of good vs. evil. It makes sense that there's just a villain that naturally is opposed by a hero. Doesn't have to be an entire back story that intertwines them. If we simply change Discord to a female the entire theory just completely falls apart (Unless you say they were lesbian lovers. I'd have to stop you there, though.) There's nothing defined in this theory, and there is nothing to protract it, either. I just seem it more likely that it's just good vs. evil. I don't understand why there always has to be such a big plot twisting blah blah within that theme.

Megamind is a prime example of this, IMO. Even though Metro Man and Megamind knew each other since birth, it was just about good and evil. It wasn't because 'METRO MAN IS A JERK' (Even though that was some of Megamind's reasoning, but he was just the bad guy) And when Metro Man is gone, there just needed to be something opposing. Then when more evil rises up good rises up. It's just the natural order of things.

>>106603
I'm not very familiar with the Conversion Bureau, but after reading your summary, I'd have to say this:

I'd be careful about the Jew/ Nazi parallel; I've seen that blow up in a few people's faces without them really trying. (The internet being what it is.) It certainly sounds interesting, but it might be hard to pull off.

>>106590

For whatever reason, I always toyed with the idea that Discord was originally a king of a lost civilization that encompassed the Everfree, which would was much larger back in his day. The King of Equestria was a righteous stallion, but a complete bitch for his wife, the Queen, who was a huge ass tyrant that ruled with an iron hoof. Eventually, the Queen wants to expand for more power and decides to attack Discord's kingdom, which fails, but leaves both sides heavily devastated as a result.

Slowly, Discord, who created his own subjects and saw them die for their nation, loses his sanity until a second war is started. The King and Queen lead the final attack into his capitol, where they finally face off. Discord ends up killing them, but their deaths cause a massive surge of magic to destroy everything that was ever proof of his country, leaving behind a forest that grew in its place.

Because of the magic, Discord is transformed into his current state, loses his mind from having all of his subjects and nation wiped off the face of the Earth, and goes on a massive rampage until the daughters of the King and Queen stop him with the Elements. His magical energy still enchants the Everfree Forest, which runs under his domain and is slowly receding by the years, shrinking the influence over what was once his nation.

Not sure why I see it that way, but there's nothing more tragic than a fallen king, let alone one who's literally the last survivor of his nation.

>>106603

Never read Conversion Bureau, but I like that idea. Make his last name Carver though, because it would make him three times more badass. Full-body suits, those being SEVA suits straight from Kiev.

Anyway, here's an idea: Pinkie gets a professorship at the Multi-Universal University of Cool, where she teaches PINK101, the beginner's class to parties and all things party-related. It would cross over with a bunch of other pop-culture characters, other universes, etc..

>>106617
I've always liked the idea that Discord is the last survivor of an ancient race, as are Celestia and Luna. The fallen king part fits nicely too, but my head cannon for Discord is heavily dictated by the comic series "Discordantly" by CosmicUnicorn (formerly CrappyUnicorn) on Deviantart, which I linked in my earlier post.

This is a cool idea nonetheless, I'd run with it.

>>106607
I'm not implying anything, just informing you of a possibility. Discord and Celestia don't have to have been dating, but it's not an impossibility.

>>106623
It isn't, but the likelihood just seems low in my opinion. It suggests that Discord was ruling for quite a while before Luna and Celestia used the elements, which might have meant Discord was ruling even before they were born. Even if it wasn't that soon, I think it's easy to imagine that they didn't meet until during Discord's ruling, and Celestia falling for the Spirit of Chaos just seems unlikely in that context, IMO

/EndOverAnalyticalRampage

>>106623

Now what race he was is the problem. I considered humans, because there's obviously a lot of human influence in pony culture, such as architecture (Greek-style buildings), fashion (Fluttershy mentions French something-or-other), and other bullshit that I can't think of off the top of my head. But it seems a lot of people tend to hate on that idea, usually.

Also, a minotaur is half-human, so there's also that as some kind of evidence that there was some human-like presence at one point, unless the FiM team just picked that race for the hell of it and didn't consider it that way.

One more thing, where did you get a head cannon? I didn't even know they made those.

>>106645
Same place I got mine
>Pic

In my insane head.

>>106476
Hey Stripes,
>where to set

Names are just names. You use them to summon the images and ideas the reader already has, or to store images and ideas for later use. So if you set in Trottingham, you're working just as hard as if you're setting in a town of your own design, but with the risk that S3 can come along and change everything.

The good news is that the good readers won't really care if that happens, so use the name "Trottingham" if you like the sound.

I'm not a huge Lovecraft fan (though I like lovecraftian elements), I'll give it a shot, though.

They're generally Idea stories with frustrated resolution. An Idea story gradually increases understanding of something set in stone from the beginning of the story. It's most often a past event, but it can also be something ongoing (and unstoppable), a rule*, a prophecy, a stable time loop...

(*"Beyond the Wall" by Filler is a really good example, short, rather lovecraftian, and simple enough to take apart and imitate.)

The frustrated resolution means the main character eventually gives up their quest for understanding for a good reason. Lovecraft, so perhaps they've gone too sane ("screw this, I don't want to know any more") or too insane ("Har affty arockyw!") to pursue their quest anymore.

So to do pony lovecraft stuff:

What wouldn't pastel horses want to know more about?
A specific pastel horse (unicorn/peg/earth filly/colt/mare/stallion) ? Why?
Why are they curious in the first place?
What do they do to feed their curiosity?
What goes wrong as they do?
Can they fix it?

>>106645
I figure Draconequus is a good enough classification, perhaps there were others like him, although not quite as malformed. as for my head cannon, I used to work in a metal shop. I'm good friends with the owner and I asked him to make it for me. It's pretty awesome if I do say so myself, which I do.

>>106648

I entered your name into the Wu-Tang Name Generator and got something fitting in return.

>>106650

I feel like a Draq2fijths is a completely unique species though, only to Discord. I can't see a whole nation of them flying around, doing crazy ass shit and dicking around all day.

>>106691
Seems legit.

I've brought this up in other Story Forge threads and I still haven't shaken the idea.

Friendship: The Gathering.

I want to write an AU in which Twilight doesn't just have the spark of magic that binds close friends--she has a Planeswalker spark. It ignites when she loses her friends in s2e2, and takes her to I dunno somewhere exotic and instantly recognizable like (former) Mirrodin or Ravnica. She tries to get home, but seeing as she's never drawn mana before, she can't walk the planes without help from... Lilianna? Jace? Gideon? Someone.

She then returns to Equestria-- with her tutor in tow along with Chandra because fuck you Chandra's my favorite, and they carve a swath of bloody vengeance against some kind of chaos minions that are monstrous enough so that they can be slaughtered by the hundreds without it being too grimdark. The other Planeswalkers must learn to use Equestria's particular brand of mana (the ponies don't draw mana, so the Walkers' magic will probably be different somehow).

They save the other five ponies, and harness the power of the Elements to not just turn Discord to stone, but banish him to the Blind Eternities where he will spend eternity floating in the madness-inducing void-- if he isn't simply vaporized.

The thing is, I've never read a book with Chandra or Gideon or Liliana or really any of the planeswalkers in them. I've only picked at one or two; one was starring Kamahl and the other was Tezzeret and Jace. I don't know these characters. I need help. Even if that's as simple as just talking to someone about the characters.

>>106702
I might be able to help. I've read Agents of Artifice, The Purifying Fire, and Test of Metal, along with the Zendikar and Alara block books. (The latter two suck, and the Zendikar author's prose is godlessly awful. You can find much better characterization on FiMFiction.net.)

Though, I think the webcomics will help you quite a bit. Their collective characterizations are much more consistent than any of the novels. (Also, pictures! Can't go wrong with that.) http://www.wizards.com/magic/multiverse/planeswalkers.aspx?x=mtg/multiverse/webcomics/main

I'm very slowly catching up and trying to update. And oh yeah, I claimed something in TTG and said I'd be done by Wednesday, and I have work early tomorrow morning again.

I'm no longer keeping track of who has written the first response in the spreadsheet because (1) it's extra work for me; (2) I've been noticing posts with responses like this here >>106152, which look just like an attempt to be credited with more responses yet minimum thought/effort put into feedback for each thing it responds to; (3) I get the impression no one ever looks at the spreadsheet, so I am doubting the utility in knowing who wrote what.

I suppose that since Filler wrote in the OP "if you want feedback on your idea" next to the form I should just let the whole feedback feature be for people who actually want feedback enough to submit it and help me help everyone help them.

'Nuff said.

If you've got a story idea of some sort, consider putting the basics of the idea in the subject field. That's what it's for.

Opens with a random Mary-Sue-esque character is screwing around in Ponyville,doing the usual stuff: breaking the fourth wall with Pinkie, sympathizing with Twilight that they're socially awkward like she is (and having a conversation that looks like someone reworded a Wikipedia article), beating R.D. at a race, seducing falling under circumstances with Fluttershy, telling Rarity off, slipping Spike some gems behind Twilight's back, and interacting with the background characters in a similar fashion. Cut to Celestia, who has sensed a disturbance in her world. She goes to find the resident Mary Sue (name undetermined, will be referred to as "J" for the time being), only to find him/her playing, say, Pokemon, with Luna. And beating her soundly despite Luna using the Wonderguard-SkillSwap-Sableye "strategy." Celestia informs them of the issue, and J uses their own 4th-wall powers to quickly get to Ponyville, where a battle of epic proportions takes place.

Current problems: I can't quite think of a good ending, and it's been a while since I've read a good epic battle description, so that suffers as well. Also, the powers and appearances of both Mary Sues are as of yet undetermined.

>>106704
(2) I've been noticing posts with responses like this here >>106152, which look just like an attempt to be credited with more responses yet minimum thought/effort put into feedback for each thing it responds to.

Er, no. I was trying to give at least some thought to writers that would otherwise not get anything or much. You make it sound like I was trying to be all popular on /fic/ or something else asinine.

Would you rather no one except Ion, Minty, and a select few 'well known' others say their thoughts, or have a community effort to try and help people out? Because the former is how these tend to work out now; just people stopping in and expecting something for nothing. Sorry for following >>106140's advice:
>From what I can gather from this thread, posters need to contribute to others ideas instead of just piling theirs over them.

Yeah, I started a sentence with "because". Deal.

(x-post from another thread, I was referred here when inquiring about this concept)
Okay, so this is the idea that i've come up with for an HiE story. Let me know if this would be readable.
Background preface:

So there's a region of human nations to the west of Equestria called the Hominian Empire (or just Hominia). Five or six human nations that have basically been fighting for millenia and for a brief few decades have enjoyed tenuous peace under the banner of an emperor.

They're at about the cultural and technological level of pre-WW1 Europe, and they have magical technology that runs off of some sort of magical fuel source (oil is made from fossils, this stuff could be made from fossils of magical animals). Celestia gave the original human kings magic hundreds of years ago, and all of them believe that the visit was from a god, so most humans worship Celestia (of course they think she is a god, not a pony.)

Being humans, the imperials used to enslave ponies to use as horses, but the longer the ponies are away from Equestria, the stupider and more horse-like they get. However, after lots of wars with the Equestrians, they gave up enslaving ponies and started enslaving zebras from overseas colonies in Zebrica. (I figure this could be why Zecora is in Equestria, she escaped from slavery into the Everfree or something)

Story:

I see the story being that during the events of S1E1& 2, anti-sun church cultists summon Discord to help Nightmare Moon in defeating Celestia (crazy cultists). He then sends a decoy spirit of himself to Equestria (S2E1&2) to inform Celestia that he has returned. From there Discord just does his own thing, and incites some of the archdukes in several of the subordinate kingdoms into staging a coup, culminating in the assassination of the emperor, much like Franz Ferdinand. The empire is plunged into civil war and the emperor's son flees for his life with his bodyguard to the south into Equestria. Of course, no humans have entered the land since the last war...
I was thinking he could run into a BP. Some pony that really nothing happens to. Maybe Lyra because of the whole humans thing (pic related).
Throw a subplot in about a Griffon invasion from the north, maybe dragons from the south, all while Discord slowly usurps the imperial throne to wage war against Celestia.
Then go from there with it.

Would y'all consider that to be a worthy HiE? Or is it too much?

>>106915
Blimey, that's complex. I don't believe I've seen anything like that before. Espionage and intrigue ho! If you think you can keep your story straight, then by all means, go for it!

Now for some suggestions. I'm not sure how well the enslaving ponies angle would work, though. Wouldn't that prompt some kind of intervention from Celestia? But to counter that, here's a suggestion. The emperor's son or the bodyguard could not believe in the religion of the Empire, prompting a crisis of faith when they enter Equestria. Crises of faith are fun.

>>106915
It would probably lose my interest within a few thousand words of the start. It's not because you have anything bad there, it's the lack of the very first thing you need for a story: some character who's unhappy about something.

The setting feels over-complicated: it has a lot of details (which is fine), but not a single theme that abstracts it all (which you need). Fallout: Equestria very much runs on its very detailed setting, but you can abstract it easily enough:

> Ponies fight total war, destroy their home, still life goes on, horrible and beautiful.

I don't see that unity yet. Keep looking for it. What's the story about?

>>106915
You might want to simplify the plot first, then slowly build off of it. After giving the background information of the new nations, merge into the recent past of the emperor's son. When he gets to Equestria, you should keep in mind that in your universe, humans probably aren't respected by ponies, considering the war and slavery thing.
Before you get to the Griffin/dragon/Discord invasion thing, you may want to get your character established within the pony society, wherever he settles in the hierarchy, and perhaps he overhears it. Alternatively, perhaps he and his bodyguard are separated, but you keep track of what each is doing: the bodyguard might find the dragons while the son comes across the griffins. Otherwise, it might seem sort of contrived that the story switches suddenly to the invading front.

Still, that is an interesting world you've painted there, and it could support quite a few creative stories, so in the (hopefully) unlikely case that your emperor's son plot doesn't quite pan out, you could still use the same setting, but with different characters and conflicts.

Speaking of HiE's where the humans were already there, I had this idea where a region called the Ancient East existed past a huge mountain range that no one for thousands of years dared to cross. On the Western side of it is Equestria and all those other countries, whereas the Eastern side has four different human nations that were fractured by religious differences and war.

Essentially, the idea is that these humans follow what remains of ancient Greek/Other mythology, in some kind of alternate universe where some of the deities actually once existed . For example, the strongest and most hated nation (by other nations) was the one who followed Apollo as their god. The second strongest was a bit farther East, that one being the one who worshiped Prometheus instead. The third was a sort of desert-wander/Bedouin type of country that worshiped the Moon, but did so peacefully and without any sort of retaliation from anyone. The last isn't very well-known at all and resides on the highest mountains in the land, making them perfectly secluded from the rest of the world.

Anyway, backstory time. The followers of Apollo are at war with the Prometheans and Wanderers, who formed a pact due to them being less capable without each other because the Apolloets see the other nations as blasphemous cancers that need to be expunged in order to fully satisfy their god. In reality, none of the gods are even alive anymore and were killed by Celestia's parents, who eventually formed the mountains to keep the eternal war away from Equestria. Tech-wise, swords and shit; Population-wise, varies, but Apollo's has roughly a few hundred thousand, making them a large force in comparison to the others.

So, the followers of Apollo (thinking about just naming the damn country Solaire) send their champion to the West as a means to find more allies. He crosses the mountain range, something no mortal has done, and travels to Canterlot. The reasoning being so is because the sun shines brightest there, and as devout follower, he's able to determine where the most sun-rays hit, that being the Princess of the Sun lives. Essentially, he manages to meet Celestia (the guards think he's some sort of reincarnation of the old King because of his severe love for the sun to the point where he has it tattooed on a fair amount of his body, like Cutie Marks) and explains his situation.

Because he glorifies the hell out of her and his nation, making them seem righteous against the other nations, she agrees to help him and offers a pact. They ally up and Celestia finds a way to build a portal that allows passage over the mountain range so she can let troops in as well.

Skip ahead, a follower of Prometheus attempts the same same thing without realizing what was going on in Canterlot. He eventually ends up there while the champion and Celestia go to meet the rest of Solaire, who worship her as a reincarnation of Apollo. The Promethean finds Luna instead and explains his situation, that one being the real one of Solaire being completely insane in trying to take innocent lives without reason. Same shit happens with these two that happened with the others, and Luna agrees to help the struggling human nations.

So, to wrap all of this big ass wall of text into something short, I'll say this: Humans are at war due to religious reasons, followers of Apollo worship Celestia as a god, Luna is worshipped by the Wanderers and well-liked among the Prometheans, and both sisters are working against each other without realizing it. While all that is happening, Cadence is trying to run Equestria with the help of Shining. Not sure how it would go from there, but it's been bugging me for the past week to get it down before I forget it. I think that's basically the gist of it, in a really long ass post.

>>106939
The way I have it now, there were originally five human kingdoms, and one of them, the one that directly bordered Equestria, was an old-south sort of society, one that relied very heavily on slave labor from ponies hundreds of years before the story starts.
After years of failed diplomacy, Celestia declares war on the Empire and razes the slave kingdom to the ground, using her magic to transform the land into the Everfree Forest. She then fills it with horrible monsters then leaves it be as a sort of no man's land buffer zone between the two peoples.

>>106971
I was going to have the prince be the second of the emperor's sons, and while his older brother has been being prepped to be either king or emperor for years, he has been coddled and kept hidden in the palace, giving him a deep sense of uselessness. His father ignores him, his mother died from an illness some years ago, and his brother treats him like shit. Also, all human kings and members of the royal line are magic users, but he doesn't seem to have the gene to add to things (Originally thousands of years ago human rulers were magic-wielding angels, much like how alicorns are the rulers of ponies). I think that the catalyst of the story was going to be the assassination of the emperor and crown prince at some sort of political rally, a rally that the second prince had begged to go to but his father had forbidden himto attend. The actual outcome of the event isn't broken to him until after he escapes from the capital, and he's honestly unsure of whether to be happy or sad.

>>106986
I was thinking that for the subplots I would switch the POV to that of another member of the human royalty. Maybe a princess of the northern kingdom or a soldier in the south or something.

I am not sure if this sort of thing is welcome in this thread, but I don't see any other active threads that would be any more suitable.

As a warning, some of you might want to get out your microscopes for this one.

How does a story plant an idea into the reader's head? Y'know what I mean? Some stories not all, but some are really good at making the reader think; they manage to plant an idea into the reader's mind. In some cases, the idea is just a side-effect, a by-product even, like when a super-analytical person reads a story, picks it apart like a puzzle, and learns something new as a result. But in other cases, the planting of that idea is done on purpose, and it is difficult to avoid. In fact, the idea presented in the story is so prominent that it almost suggests the author wrote the story for the sole purpose of planting that idea into the mind of his audience. Some prime examples of this include The Matrix, which proposed the idea that our entire world is an illusion, and A Few Good Men, which questions the morality of soldiers being legally required to obey all orders given to them by their superiors. Of course, these two do not even skim the tip of the iceberg.

So my question is, how is it done? How does a story successfully plant an idea into the reader's mind?

You are free to use any references that you wish, as long as they are relevant.

>>107182
>I am not sure if this sort of thing is welcome in this thread, but I don't see any other active threads that would be any more suitable.

You could have just made a new thread.

Nothing wrong with that.

New topic, new thread.

>>107192
I would, but....

>Posting Rules
>Do not make a thread for the sole purpose of:
>A story idea or asking about how to write a story. Instead, use the Story Forge (story idea general)

Rarity won't let me.

>>107222
Oh well. Personally, I think it's a mixture of the planning and emotion an author places in the story. And the subject that their writing about should be something that wasn't touched deeply at the time or simply not acknowledged in a sense. (You know, the things people assume or don't talk about.)

Are you all ready for the greatest idea ever? No? Too goddamn bad.

Eazy E, Tupac, Biggie, and Big L all faked their deaths to escape Suge Knight, the human Discord. They pooled all of their funds together to create a portal to Equestria, which subsequently fell apart and shit. Then the beef starts.

Ponies start choosing sides! It's a East/West Coast rap war all over again! Celestia sides with the East Coast while Luna goes with Biggie and Big L. Shit starts flying and the competition gets fiercer every single day.

Suddenly, a challenger appears! The entirety of Young Money Cash Money Billionaires arrives as well and both original sides are forced to team up in order to defeat those wack ass niggas.

Anyway, you can sit and calm down now after reading the greatest idea ever. Have a nap and some tea.

>>107298
> The entirety of Young Money Cash Money Billionaires arrives as well and both original sides are forced to team up in order to defeat those wack ass niggas.
> to defeat those wack ass niggas.
> wack ass niggas
> niggas

STILLMATIC, Y U NO LOVE AND TOLERATE?

In all seriousness, this sounds like a fantastic trollfic. But, as always, I'm going to work under the assumption that you were being serious. I can't help but think that the whole "Princesses being forced to choose opposing sides" thing's been done to death already. Here's a counter-proposal. They're stone cold gangsters, right? Set the story in Manehattan or somesuch, and make it about a pony gang war. That'd be kinda cool. Personally, I kind of like Nicki Minage of the Young Money camp, so I'm staying the fuck out of your way.

>>107322

Loving and tolerating is for the geeks, because most problems can be settled with that chrome and metal shit anyway.

Moving on though, don't get me wrong about Nicki, because I absolutely adore her. She's an artistic genius in my eyes, but she lacks proper appreciation. Originally, I was going to do a Rapper in Equestria fic called "Nicki's Night Out", but seeing as though my last RiE got seriously hated on, I might just stick with this idea.

But thanks for the idea, here, have a token of my appreciation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P61FwDmOQkQ

>>107298
Tupac wailing on Limp Bizkit...
if this becomes a fic,
I will read it online,
then print out a copy of it,
then shred the copy,
then roll up the shredded copy,
then smoke it.
Then read it online again.

Again, a bunch of popular bronies get a plushy of their OC, and after touching it, they slowly turn into their OC over the course of a few days or weeks. Hilarity ensues, and shit happens.

>>107525

The fuck is a Limp Bizkit? Is that the shit they use to make pancakes and stuff?

>>107554

>Wake up
>Check the mail
>There's a package, which is strange because the stuff I ordered off amazon isn't supposed to be here for a few more days
>Open it
>What the fuck?
>It's a well made plush of the OC I made to shitpost on /mlp/
"This is fucked up, I just moved, who even has my address?"
>In the box there's a card with a few words
>"Keep it up, we'll be seeing you soon"
>Well, that's not ominous as hell or anything
>It's decently sized, it's fairly accurate and it's actually pretty cuddly
>Leave it on the desk and get ready for work

>>107554
Are you familiar with Latin American writers? There is one story which you might find useful for this.

>>107572
>Get off work, stop by the store to pick up something to make for dinner
>Figure I'll make something different, pick up some vegetables and stuff to make a salad
>Watch some TV, eat some dinner, drink some wine, go to bed
>Can't sleep, spend a half hour tossing and turning
>Fuck this, I'm going for a jog
>Light jog turns into legitimate running
>Fuck yeah, sprinting down the hill that leads to my apartment
>Smoke some pot, take a shower, grab the new toy and hop in to bed
>Fall asleep instantly
>Dreams of flying, fuck yeah

>>107358

I think I saw your first Rapper in Equestria fic. I ignored it because... it was in the fimfic feature box and all kinds of stupid shit makes it into the EQD feature box.

If I see another Rapper in Equestria fic, though, I will confirm that it's you, then unconditionally upclop and favorite it.

Right, right, now guys, quick question. Would it be plausible to say that all Equestrians have a sort of gland within them that forces them to participate in singing if somepony engages in song? It seems to happen within the show a few times, if I remember right. I'm asking because this scene won't have the same effect for me and will look sort of cheesy if I'm just making bullshit up.

Part of the scene in question:

One of the guards unlocked the cell door quickly, followed by all three rushing inside. The dark human popped out from beneath the metal table and started yelling some obscene form of song. Celestia's heart dropped near instantly. It was a little known fact, but Equestrians contained a gland that forced them to engage in song if one started singing, with the Equestrians going along in every case.

"WE DON'T GIVE A WHAT WHAT!"

One of her guards blurted out, "GET IT ON THE FLOOR!"

"WHAT!" She screamed.

The other guard yelled, "YOU DON'T WANNA PARTY THEN YOUR ASS GOTTA GO!"

"NOW YOU CAN RIDE TO THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" The human began.

Celestia attempted to hold in her voice to no avail, "BOUNCE TO THIS MOTHERFUCKER!"

"FREAK TO THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" a guard yelled a moment later.

The human grinned from behind the table, "Once again, it's the darker nigga! Hit or spark a nigga, break apart a nigga!"

A deep scowl cut across the second guard's face, "But the dog is bigger, under stress! So unless you're wanting to bless to the chest!"

"These slugs from his liver rest, REST! Or the pump'll put a hurt on a nigga!" Celestia continued, extremely perplexed by what she was singing.

"DUMB SEX, motherfucker feeding dirt on a nigga! My hands stay dirty, cause I play dirty the mob way!" The human began some sort of dance, forcing the ponies to join in as well.

Celestia nearly screamed out in agony at the situation she was in. It was beyond horrific and she knew she wouldn't last much longer at this rate. Still, she had to remain strong, for all of Equestria's sake.

As you can see, Celestia and two of her guards were forced to sing along with a song. This is for a semi-serious fic, just to clarify. Anyways, I'm wondering if, given what happens in the show when somepony sings, could this be possible?

>>107590

I don't think mine ever got in the feature box. Hell, it's got so many thumb-downs that it's a damn shame. Funny as hell how most people didn't even bother reading it though.

This would be it, if you're thinking of the right one: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/21261/Gucci%27s-Day-Out

>>107591

I feel like this would be better if it's a really stupidly mainstream song that even people who don't like rap would know. I only followed this for the first three lines, though don't get me wrong I was laughing the whole time.

If you're gonna do this, you can do over-the-top or you can try to deadpan it-- I think both approaches will be good.

>>107597

Problem is, I don't know any songs that would have that same "wow factor" as this one. If you have any suggestions, toss one over here.

I thought this idea up recently but it's something that I just can't bring myself to write since the premise and overall idea doesn't appeal to me. but I can't control my own creativity sometimes and I hate to see this go to waste so anypony can feel free to use this idea:

the idea builds off the premise of "waiting". The world has ended and the planet is nothing but a barren desert with no weather, no landmarks, and no life save for Celestia and Luna, who pass their time sleeping, and the Mane Six who are sustained by the Elements of Harmony.

Despite millenia of finding nothing, the mane six remain convinced that somethign must be out there, somewhere, however because everything looks the same Twilight long ago cast a mind linking spell that allows them to stay in mental contact and find each other no matter where they are as they all wander the vast seemingly endless desert that was once a planet.

Eventually, Twilight discovers that because of all the magic and energy in the world that it should never have ended. the magic of the world should have allowed this world and its celestia bodies to survive for eternity as long as the princesses and the magic was sustained, but something enforced the entropy on the planet that led to its barren state: the Elements of Harmony.

The Elements of Harmony were the ultimate magic of order, keeping chaos from reigning and keeping thigns in order, but they always absorbed chaos to keep things more orderly until things reached a state of perfect order: the wasteland of nothingness. Ironically Discord, despite questionable methods, was trying to save the world form entropy by adding powerful doses of chaos to the world, unfortunately his methods made him a threat that had to be contained; his mind rape of the mane six was an attempt to shut down the elements and remove their influence.

Twilight gathers her five friends in the place where Luna and Celestia are sleeping and manage to wake them. Once the princesses are awake, Twilight explains then executes her plan with her friends: they use the power of the elements to turn themselves into statues, sealing the power of the elements withing themselves for eternity so that their power will never rob the world of the ability to change again.

Millions of years later, the mane six are still the centerpiece of athe sculpture garden and they are known as heroes who gave everything to ensure the survival of all life. Luna, Celestia and Discord discuss what became of their minds once the spell was cast: are they "dead" (their minds losing all conciousness), are they locked in personal astral planes to keep the elemtns contained? or did their mind link allow them a continued existance with each other so they can observe but not interact with the rest of the new world?

OK, idea over.

As much as a couple friends have said they liked this idea, it's just not my thing and while I would love to see it written, I just can't do it, I don't like the premise much in my mind and I doubt I could convincingly or willingly write such a downtrodden story about the end of the world and the ultimate sacrifice.

Anyone can use this I have no intention of putting it into a story.

>>107554

"As [brony's name here] awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, (s)he found him/herself transformed in his/her bed into a pony."

I would read the fuck out of a story that used that as its opening line.

>>107701
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14G4hUAtGW1F9oWmGVhs8KGbv36GXpnRLLwo0AaEU2Xs/edit

Hi guys!

Here's a story idea (I don't know if anyone's suggested it yet, or if it has been done already) that I don't want to write, but I would like to see someone else here write.

Another awry transportation spell results in the Mane Six being transported to Earth, where they are transformed into real horses. They are scattered and put to work in situations that they are most suited for:

Pinkie Pie would work in a circus.

Fluttershy would work as one of those theraputic horses that disabled people ride.

Rarity could either be a dressage pony or work as a horse actress. I think either one could work.

Rainbow Dash would be a race horse.

Applejack would work on a cattle ranch.

Twilight... I don't know about Twilight. The best I could think of is her becoming the pet of some family who has a child who likes to read.

They are treated well and enjoy what they do, but they yearn to go back home.

Enter Princess Celestia. After learning about what happened to her pupil, she (and perhaps some other characters, canon or OC) goes to Earth to rescue her and her friends. However, she will find it difficult, as she cannot rely on physical appearance to identify the six lost ponies.

What do you guys think?

>>107723
Interesting concept, but it would have to be a sprawling, thousand page epic to comprehensively explain itself, otherwise you'd have a thousand "oh lol I was thinking I was going to have to look across the entire damn globe to find you applejack, thank goodness you happened to be bucking that tree a few feet away from me" moments

Guys, I have terrible news. I've run out of material for my Gucci Mane in Equestria fic, and I can't think of anything else to write for it. It's too early to introduce either Discord or the Diamond Dogs, and at this point, I got him rolling with Gilda and Derpy as a group.

So, any ideas?

>>107782

Zecora and her posse, Canter D.M.C.

>>107783
Speaking of which, has anyone written a story where Zecora becomes a rapper? Because someone should totally do that.

>>107766
I'm not sure I understand what you mean...

>>107783

Nigga, that's just crazy enough to work. Zecora as a rapper along side: "PONIES HAVE THE GALL TO PRAY AND PRAY FOR MY DOWNFALL!" I was considering having Zecora as a secret rapper, but with Canter D.M.C., it'll be perfect.

>>107792

Racist.

>>107792
Straight out of Clopton: The Zecora Chronicles

Zecora is having tea with Fluttershy one day when the CMC come over. Zecora says hello to them and the girls stop and have tea with them. After a while, Scootaloo says to Zecora that she should be a rapper. Zecora decides to take her up on her comment and goes to Manehattan to become a part of the rap underground. She rises to the top quickly thanks to her natural rhyming talent, but when her manager tries to re-brand her as a pop idol, she has to choose between money and sticking to who she is.

Oh, and there totally have to be written-in rap lyrics of her songs.

>>107820
>>107797
This idea is bestidea.

Alright, now, I've been writing a STALKER crossover and I'm introducing an older-gen villain for one chapter, who ultimately gets killed by everyone's favorite Merc. I'm not sure how many people on here are even familiar with this series, but I mainly need some ideas for what's to happen with the villain.

So, Tirek's grave is disturbed by mass-amounts of Noospheric energy, bringing him back to life like any other humanoid-type thing. He sees "You-Know-Who" in the sewers as a brain-washed Monolithian and gets the greatest idea ever: Assume position as their god and bring the rest of the faction over to completely obliterate Equestria.

Of course, Celestia, Luna, and a shit ton of guards are already investigating into the mutants that have been hunting in the Canterlot sewers up until they meet said Mercenary fighting off a horde of snorks. He pretty much wipes out the mutants and Tirek shows up to nab the Merc while taunting the Princesses. But he takes too long and a blowout from the Zone, enters through a Space Bubble (the same one that allowed the mutants through). The Merc, having been Marked by the Zone and capable of surviving a blowout, is pumped with godly amounts of Noospheric energy.

Now, at this point, the Merc essentially loses his mind and starts attacking the thing that resembles what he's been programmed to kill (other humans), that being the centaur Tirek.

What I need to know is what powers other than that stupid ass little bag he keeps does Tirek have? I never watched that movie and I really don't plan on it either. What would it take to effectively kill him given that the Merc's equipment consists of a Vintar, a knife, an exoskeleton, and a few artifacts? I'm not sure how a sort of devil-like figure fares against bullets or grenades, so I need opinions on how I should go about with this.

>>107182
I think the most important part of any story to plant an idea is the end. I mean the ending is that last part that the audience reads so you really need to get that right if that makes sense...?

so i posted this a earlier today in /oat/, and someponies thought it may have the potential for a fic. the following is the aforementioned post:

"i always wondered why Applejack and Rarity aren't better friends than they are.

here's my reasoning: Applejack and Rarity have likely spent the majority of their lives in Ponyville; Applejack because of her family's farm, and Rarity, because of her family (they take care of Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Belle goes to ponyville school, Rarity's shop is likely located in Ponyville so she can be close to her family); and since Applejack and Rarity are presumably about the same age (within a year or so) they would have gone to school together when they were young. now, the way i see it, Rarity's predesignation towards being popular and well liked, as well as being generous, would have made her one of the popular fillies in school; while Applejack's loyalty, her affinity for freidnship in general, and the fact that i figure she would have been one of the fillies who knew everypony, and was known by everypony in her class would have made it nigh impossible for the two of them not to know one another in school; and as such, they should probably have been good friends for many years before Twilight's arrival, despite their disagreeances."

link to original thread: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/oat/res/38090661.html

>>107847
Well, yes. You're a little fuzzy, but I think that I get jist of what you're saying.

>>107227
Do you think that the morality of military law has never been discussed before A Few Good Men was released?

Here's an idea based off a tv show I have only recently discovered. After having her caravan destroyed Trixie discovers the idea of Karma (or the pony equivalent. Karmare?) and decides her bad luck was due to her excessive boasting and resolves that the only way to keep worse things from happening to her is to formally apologize to everypony she humiliated and help them with their current problems. To supplement for the lack of a conclusion on the show I'd stop after helping all of the Main 6 she humiliated ending with Twilight and moving on to the numerous other ponies she had done the same to in other cities across Equestria. Just a thought.

>>107912
I think that a crossover between 101 Deeds for Eddie McDowel and My Name is Earl would work better.

Ight, I got an idea and I need an opinion on it. It's a one-shot involving Eazy Muthafuckin' E and Doctor Whooves.

So, Eazy fakes his death and uses his superior gangster powers to enter Equestria to come face to face with the Doctor he hates the most (not Dre). To finally finish this, he disses the hell outta Doctor Whooves and leaves him a shell of his former self, that is, until he picks himself up and challenges Eazy to a rap battle.

It ends with the universe suffering a meltdown.

What do you niggas think?

>>108009
I cant really tell if your saying that the two work as well as a Broccoli Mcflurrie or Coke and Dr. Pepper though.

So let me get my facts right, Rarity is related to Starswirl, somehow manages to kill Celestia and becomes a Tyrant. Pinkie Pie swoops in, frames Luna for somehow orchestrating Celestia's murder and mindcontrolled Rarity who she discreetly murders. She then places Fluttershy as her patsy and avatar while controlling and stringing along the political scene as the Princess of the Fading Sun because no one knows when Celestia's Sun will stop circling the earth and die.

Rainbow Dash knows the Truth and fled Equestria after Pinkie Pie attempts to assassinate her. Twilight is lied to at every turn but Pinkie Pie can't persuade her not to go after Rainbow Dash. And so she discreetly encourages Earth ponies to hate unicorns and creates a psudo-rebellion group of Earth Ponies to target powerful unicorns. Applejack, convinced by Pinkie's words wields the rebellion at home while sending a group of trackers after Twilight.

Meanwhile, Luna, Cadence and Blueblood hide with the Changlings due to Blueblood's ability to seduce any pony he meets and Cadence's power of Love while trying to come up with a way to stop Pinkie's reign. It's been made obvious if they ever were to return, they would be used in a series of experiments to make earth ponies alicorns. And with them, they have Celestia's body, though cold and lifeless, her heart still beats.

And Spike is Twilight's Wings as she searches the world for Rainbow Dash.

Woo. I got the idea out of my system. Anyone take it before I am forced to write it out of compulsion and never finish it.

Okay so umm... I help admin a roleplay site where we do have this original RP (our own story, etc.) Well in this RP that's Scifi/Fantasy and heavily magic and tech based, we just had an event that happens every something years where for three entire days magic is 'eclipsed' from all of existence. Like a natural occurring anti-magic field.. Only something went wrong with existence and it's lasting longer than ever.

Well.. while that's happening I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Equestria ever suffered the same thing? Both Pegasi and Unicorn ponies rely heavily on magic. And the princesses cannot change the day without it. Three days with it would be hell enough, muchless any longer.

I'd like to write that but I don't know where to start? Like what should lead up to it that hasn't already been done in the everday life of the ponies? So far I have...

-Twilight comes back from something (a party or some everyday thing they were doing.)

-It's getting late and Twilight thinks she should write to Princess Celestia and is too tired and finally decides she'll do it first thing in the morning.

-Something strange happens as it timeskips to late in the night and Discord is released, he laughs at this and attempt to start chaos once again but finds when he snaps his fingers nothing happens like before...He finds this odd and lurks within the castle to find out the source.

-We find all of the castle in a frenzy as both Celestia and Luna are lying on the ground powerless, Tia in her pink mane and Luna in her powerless s1 form. Celestia is worried that without her magic she will not be able to raise the sun...
Luna saying that this is just what Nightmare Moon would have wanted, the both of them dreading the outcome.

...I dunno what to do after this or what Twilight was originally coming back from. I would think Discord would go into Ponyville or they would discover him spying or SOMETHING, but I'm out of ideas.

Can anyone help? (Without stealing the idea.)

So I had an idea for a fic that takes place a bit in the future, where the mane 6 are young adults and characters like the CMC are as old as the current mane 6.

Anyway, the idea would be that after the Cadence fiasco and being blasted far away, Queen Chrysalis suffered many injuries and died. Her four sons are majorly pissed, especially one.

The youngest one is a bit of a child - he's not a brat and generally sympathizes with those around him. When it comes to his enemies, he'll be ruthless.

The oldest is a brat. He'll do anything to bring down anyone, whether it be his allies (he doesn't have friends) or his enemies.

The third one is essentially the villain. After Chrysalis died and he found out he wasn't to herit the crown, he threw a pissy fit and decided to go on a full-out war against the ponies - a bit for killing his mother, although he disliked her, but especially for two reasons.
One, to prove he's better than his mother was, and two, to gain the people's trust back so he can be king. He is extremely irritable and crabby.

And finally, the second one is one of the heroes. He wants nothing but peace between the changelings and the ponies, and even falls in love with a pony at some point. Of course, the war does little to help them be together.

So basically, Romeo & Juliet with ponies and changelings.

Some of you may be aware of a video game released two days ago entitled "Quantum Conundrum." In this game, you are given guidance through a series of scientific puzzles by the voice of your mad scientist uncle, Professor Quadwrangle. It's in the same vein as Portal, the difference being that instead of going through holes, you travel between four alternate dimensions: Fluffy, a lighthearted plush world where everything is lighter, Heavy, a dark metallic world where everything is, well, heavier, Slow-Motion and Anti-Gravity, which are self-explanatory.

Why do I bring this up? Well, Dr. Quadwrangle was voiced by John DeLancie. This would make him an individual with the ability to fundamentally alter reality, who was voiced by John DeLancie.

I think you see where I'm going with this.

The comparison becomes a lot easier when you see the ending to Quantum Conundrum. I seriously don't want it for you. I'm not even going to type it here. Just know that Quantum Conundrum is a good game with a good ending. You should play it. You should see the ending. (Or look it up on YouTube or something if you don't want to shell out the 15 bucks.) And then you should write a fic where Dr. Quadwrangle either encounters or somehow becomes Discord. (Or both!)

I need a song that seems like something Pinkie Pie would sing for my new fanfic I'm working on. The song can be about anything she will be singing it at the next GGG. I'm not a very good song writer so I need someone to write it for me. I will give credit were credit is do. It doesn't have too be that long about 8-12 lines.Also if you can make it semi-humorous if possible.
Thank-You
P.S. You can also email me it at benstillerskid@gmail.com

>>108306

Refer to this post for the perfect lines: >>107591

>>108290
Or you could do what I did and just pirate the game. My computer can barely run it, surprisingly, since I can play games like TF2, Half Life perfectly and Skyrim fine. This is a newer game though.

Anyways, playing through a little bit of it, I can say that Quadwrangle and Discord are the same person, and that Equestria is a dimension that Quadwrangle decided not to put on the glove. He says in the game that the one using the glove will remain constant, but who knows? Idunno.

I'm stuck at that damn part where you have to get those five safes to block the blue beam WITHOUT them burning up in the red beam behind it, which is hard considering there's a giant fan blowing them into it. I was like 'HOW DO?' and decided to come here while I think about it.

>>108139
...No one wants to help?

>>108334
You will receive a response Monday.

Hello good foalks of Ponychan! I am a writer of questionable mastery and known by most as the Calculus King of the West Coast.

I am currently considering creating a story about the Mane 6 as fillies. The story will be a crossover with the Divine Comedy--yes, the ponies will be going through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. However, the story will not be grimdark; I want to take a comedic stance on the whole affair with bits of drama thrown in.

So, how far am I in? Well:

Plot: Mostly unwritten
Characters: Undeveloped
World: Mostly constructed

That's where you come in. I want a talented writer to co-write with me. I will give them more details if they email me via the address provided above (hover over my name). Before we start, you should know that every time you don't use a serial comma, I die a little inside. Unless you want to co-write with me by the assistance of a wigi board, I recommend you use them.

I do want to get on Equestria Daily. If you don't think you can write to their standards, then please do not reply to me.

I made the image (Look mommy! I can use Microsoft Paint!).

CKWC

>>108402
Shitty at writing, but if you're going with a comedic stance, you might want to give Satan humorous, affable qualities, like Disney did with Hades in Hercules

>>108403
Actually, I'm ponifying Hell, so Discord will be Satan. He's pretty goofy. :)

I don't think I've noticed many (if any) Con Mane stories.

And I just got an idea for one.

A matter of national security quickly spirals into a quest to stop a powerful individual from extinguishing magic itself. Joe (Con Mane) and Twilight Sparkle find themselves chasing leads around the world to discover his motives, unravel the plot, and, of course, stop him before Equestria falls to pieces.

Super vague, as always, but I don't want to go too in-depth about it at the moment. Thoughts?

And yes, I realize that sounds like the plot for almost any "stop the bad guy" adventure story ever. So no points for originality just going off of that, I guess. Still, the details and possibilities forming in my head are intriguing.

So I'm currently writing this story about a stallion going to Ponyville (Yeah real original i know) but i thought my OC was just original enough to not be a candidate to be smashed over the head with a hammer. the story is already up on fanfiction for those that are curious. just look for Scribes Are Weird or Ghostwriter.

And for those that don't basically my OC is a slightly socially awkward unicorn that works as a scribe for the princess and is sent to ponyville to talk to the mane six about The various situations they have been in. And so here is my problem. Originally, Ghostwriter (His name) was going to meet a couple of the mane six through their place of work. However meeting R.D. and Fluttershy would be difficult with this method as, well they don't really have a "place" of work. I've also kinnda written myself into a corner as i had Pinkie Pie encounter Ghost in much the same way as she met twilight. For one the next part of the plan is going to Sugar cube corner, so do i have them meet there, but another problem would be that i can't stick Ghost into one of Pinkie's parties because he would turtle up. And since i had Pinkie technically be the first to meet him, a party is inevitable. my third and final problem is that i find Pinkie difficult to pin down, he reactions are random at best and i just don't want to screw up so... yeah i need help.

Ight, here's a spectacular idea that will leave you swooned and sighing in delight.

Twilight, fed up with not ever having a pony on par with her level of intelligence in Ponyville, pursues trying to find others like her. A search across Canterlot gives no leads, so after much time trying to find some sort of pony who can keep up with her, she decides to visit the Royal Archives for a spell to locate someone who's suitable. After preparing the spell, she goes through with it only for her to accidentally sneeze, putting more energy into it than she should have.

The result is an entity partially crossing over into Equestria, but melding in with her own personality instead of becoming physical. The entity in question? Method Man.

So Twilight pretty much dicks around Canterlot, messing with vendors and being a general deviant while also using her inner Method Man to conduct careful scientific experiments on the most mundane and boring things, which tend to result in some sort of explosion or destruction. She also develops a severe fear of fire extinguishers as well.

After committing various crimes and being a menace to society, Twilight is arrested. Of course, she doesn't go down without a fight and takes down several guards before losing. Princess Celestia becomes disappointed in her student and tries to figure out what's wrong with her after Twilight curses her out. The Princess assumes she's possessed by an unknown phantom-thing and tries to exorcise her.

It succeeds and the result is Method Man in flesh and blood, walking away from the scene and going to get something to drink. Twilight stops him and asks if he's the one who was supposed to be able to keep up with her scientifically and intelligence-wise. Method Man produces his credentials and resume, which impress even the Princesses. He then decides to temporarily work alongside Twilight to further Equestria scientifically before he heads back to Earth for a concert with Redman.

The End.

How about a Conversion Bureau story done from the other side?

What if it was Earth about to consume Equestria, instead of the other way around, and all of the wimpy, impotent ponies (as opposed to bastardly, warlike humans) had to collectively choke down a cup full of humanization serum, and accept all the changes whether they want it or not? Would the average TCB reader like it nearly as much as they like normal TCB stories? Probably not. But it would be a neat experiment.

>>108504
You misspelled 'aight"

Would a silly story of the TF2 Balloonicorn going to Equestra have any legs?

>>109199
Everything can be a good story if it's done right. For this kind of concept, I think it'd have to be [Random][Comedy]. Because, let's face it, there's no way anypony's going to take that concept seriously. That's not to say it can't be a good story, of course. What I'm trying to say here is it could have legs if you handle it right.

>>109199
>>109210
It has legs, they're just stubby. Just make a Unicorn and base the story off of the description of the Baloonicorn, like how Gary Brottman is sleeping with Baloonicorn's wife.

So, I've been THINKING a bit about doing a fic involving everyone's favorite Dragqueenonaciuoussksis traveling to Earth in order to screw with Celestia's plans by helping her quarry escape her traps.

So, to make a long explanation short, this parodies the run of the mill HiE where the human gets killed to get sent to Equestria. Chyssalis is planning on taking down Equestria with a much stronger army, and the new couple (Cadence and Shining Armor) are already on their honeymoon to some far-ass place or some shit like that. Celestia decides to outsource some help that can find true love in her kingdom, and decides on nabbing someone from Earth due to a human's ability to feel just as much if not more emotions than an Equestrian. She chooses some guy who pretty much spends his time going out to clubs and the like with his friends instead of studying for college.

Celestia plans on killing him humanely to bring him to Equestria, but Discord decides to intervene to fuck with her. Essentially, he befriends and protects the guy against all of Celestia and the Elements attempts to bring him to Equestria, which tend to be comical situations involving hanging pianos and the such. Discord tells guy what he is and Celestia's plan, and after Discord proves it's all true, becomes better friends with the DraqunWizKhalifazkis. To shrink this all down, it's Discord and a guy dicking around and enjoying the nightlife of NYC together.

Also, I need a bit of help with the title, which I've put in the subject box. Good, bad, etc.?

Here, have a picture of a Burer as my thanks.

I'm not sure if this post fits in best to the Story Forge or not, but I know making a new thread is incredibly taboo around here and the quickest way to get shut out. So I feel more comfy posting for my first time on /fic/ in the closest fit to what I'm looking for...

I don't need a story idea as any writer has thousands of them and the true work comes in the research, story world building and actual writing. Rather I'm looking for encouragement on an idea I had started in March 2011 but abandoned because of the length it was getting and time involved to write it. I'm a writer who has never written fanfic or read fanfic. I consider the purpose of writing to be getting published, so I've avoided fanfic entirely. However, an even more important aspect of writing is the message you carry and getting that to your target audience (which is the purpose of publishing).

I've been wanting to write a fanfic that focuses heavily on the polarization of the world around us, using the events surrounding Scott Walker and Wisconsin as a backdrop, and a journey of two humans into Equestria and their transformations from that journey as a backdrop of the transformation many bronies early on in the fandom experienced when first discovering MLP: FiM. I know there are better ways to go about writing such a story, but given my voice as a writer, life experiences (both in being born in Wisconsin and having strong family ties there and some of my life experiences right now in the polarization) and general writing style, I'm feeling it's the best way for me to write this story. And while I can easily adapt this to its own fantasy world of my own creation, it's a story written for the bronies. So I feel a fanfic is very appropriate.

Talking to some fanfic writers at BronyCon, they were very reserved about the idea of humans in Equestria as that's apparently been done to death, but as I told them that my focus is about polarization and the themes, they started to encourage me to write it releasing it one chapter at a time. I already have the layout and some writing done for the Foreward, Prologue and Chapters 1 & 2 along with world building. It's something I'm honestly not sure if I'll finish. But if reception is good enough after posting it up chapter by chapter, it is something I would definitely set aside more time for. But therein lies another issue. I'm used to writing a complete story before issuing it to any sort of public eye, not an episodic release.

So my question is this: Does this seem like a worthy thing for me to pursue, or should I just abandon all hope now like I did around April last year? Are there any suggestions in the best way to go about episodic releasing of this story and getting feedback?

>>109779
This isn't the kind of question that really fits in the thread for the development of ideas and story lines, but we don't really have a thread for "/fic/, I need help regarding the act of writing itself" besides the Ask-A-Prereader thread and Nicknack's lonely advice thread. Perhaps we should make one.

>Does this seem like a worthy thing for me to pursue, or should I just abandon all hope now like I did around April last year?
On the topic of HiE (Human in Equestria), the reason it's looked down upon is because even if you account for Sturgeon's Law, most if it is invariably god-awful self-insert drivel. If you write it and write it well, there shouldn't be a reason it gets past the initial barrier of "Yet-another-HiE-story, I'll pass". (At which point, you'll have to deal with the same wide-scale "I don't like this genre in general" problem that Dark writers need to face.) If you've got some amazing zeitgeist fic, word will probably spread of its own accord.

Do note that Brony in Equestria stories are more or less banned by Equestria Daily, but if your story is at least Arddun-Lleuad-quality, they might give it a fair chance.

>Are there any suggestions in the best way to go about episodic releasing of this story and getting feedback?
Here's a list of review threads: http://bit.ly/JI0sZF (You can find this in the sticky, too.) Apologies if it's not up to date. A good deal of writers write a chapter, submit the chapter to these threads, submit the revised chapter to FiMFiction/Equestria Daily, then write the next chapter, and so on. The idea behind an episodic release is to 1. get more initial readers (dropping 120,000 words on a reader can be quite intimidating), 2. get more general readers through update notices, and 3. let you know if the entire endeavor is still worth pursuing so you can cut your losses early if it doesn't pan out. Mostly just the first two, though, because just because you release it one or two chapters at a time doesn't mean you have to write it one or two chapters at a time.


On a separate note, I'm not sure what you mean by "polarization".

Alright, so I had an idea for more or less of a horror fic. Just hear me out.

It's the usual fic setting: We're in Ponyville, somebody arrives and things get changed. In our case, it's the usual "misunderstood, downtrodden artist" - in our case, a painter, named Esthet. The only one to show any sort of interest in his work is Twilight Sparkle.

One day, he decides to ask her if she'd let him do portraits of her. She agrees and he starts making one, "Twilight", but isn't pleased with it. He just puts it away and starts working on another. However, when Twilight is too busy to come to pose for him, he works without her, and eventually, his second portrait, "Twilight B", ends up looking nothing like Twilight, and even hardly looks like a mare. Twilight is blown away by the painting and shows it to her friends, who also agree that it's very well done. The painter starts to get some recognition for the painting, and begins, among others, to rack in the money.

The true story begins when he starts hearing voices telling him to expand the painting. Turn it into a mural. He buys a old house and incorporates his work into one of the walls and starts to paint another room next to the character. He still finds it empty, but decides he'll fill it up another day. He's about to call it a night just when a voice calls him out. As it turns out, the character in the painting is alive, and asks the artist to decorate the wall with portraits of other people. The artist isn't too hot, but when the obviously animate painting suggests that if his orders aren't followed, he'll trash the painting and bring poverty back, the artist agrees.

His first portrait his Applebloom. However, after he's done painting her, she gets sick and falls into a catatonic state. Her expression on the mural is sad and helpless, while the previously-sickly looking Twilight B seems to get healthier. The mural keeps on getting bigger as Esthet has no choice but to add other characters. All meanwhile, Twilight and friends are trying to solve the mystery.

One night, Twilight wants to face Esthet, but finds out he's not home. She decides to wait for him, when Twilight B adresses her and tricks her into coming in the painting. Esthet arrives just in time to stop his creation, when the now extremely good-looking stallion in the wall decides to literally step into reality and attack him. Such is the climax, and in the end, T2 is defeated by a whole barrel of thinner.

>>109969
Something like that having its own thread would be nice. I feel quite lost around here.

It's actually about two hunters who know nothing about pony, and I don't even acknowledge MLP as existing in the real world. It's kept purely as its own fantasy world (with a lot of my own world building in it, which I tried to remain as loyal to the canon of the show as possible back in March 2011, there's a few things now that may contrast lightly without changing the story). It's not a getting stuck in show we see on TV type story. No self inserting either. The two characters are inspired lightly by Eddie and Howard Dean in The Dark Tower series. Same character archetypes, not the same characters though.

Thanks for the advice on review threads.

Polarization is the idea behind two opposing sides becoming more opposite and opposed to each other, more on the principal of hate than anything and completely unwilling to step in the middle and try to negotiate. It's commonly used when describing the political theater today in the United States. So two sides growing further apart basically. Think of the Doctor Seuss story where the two sides were battling over whether you should put butter on top of the bread or below the bread. Over simplification of polarization, but definitely polarization none the less. It's not seen as a good thing.

Hello,

Does someone know any MLP fanfiction which includes steampunk, please?

>>110360
You'll probably get a better response in the recommendation/request thread, which is here: >>88527

>>110421
Oh, I am sorry, I clicked on the wrong thread, I thought this one was the Recommendations thread :/

Thanks!

I've been kind of sitting on this idea for a while now, but I don't really know of any repositories where I can give ideas to that I've found. Anyway, I recently watched the movie Chronicle and I've been wondering, as many have about other subjects, "What would happen if this was ponified?"

Now, I've no time for actually writing a full on fanfic, but here's the basics of the concept when I was brainstorming this:
>3 young ponies (genders can be whatever you want, but I'd think that making them all the same gender would be beneficial) are our protagonists
>They live in an all-earth pony town, and even the thought of unicorns/pegasi are rare. Also it's not a nudist colony like Ponyville, if only to help justify some of the points coming after this
>They come across some kind of ancient artifact/dormant spell/piece of Discord (my personal favorite)/you get the point that turns them into either unicorns or alicorns, I'm not sure what would be more appropriate.
>While hiding their new body parts with the aforementioned clothes, they also find that they can do awesome things like levitation, force fields, flight, among others
>Since I'm sure that child abuse/life threatening disease is rare in Equestria, let's say that the corruption of one of the protagonists comes from whatever created their powers in the first place, kind of like NMM or something.

Like I said, it's not too fleshed out of an idea, but it's a start at least, right?

Hello,

I'm writing a fanfiction about MLP and I would like to get a few comments about a part of my story.

(I don't put it in the review threads, because I didn't start to write, it's only about the idea. Please tell me if I should put it elsewhere)

It's about the mane 6 getting the ability to control the elements (fire, water, and so on), it's a bit "The Last Airbender-like".

I'm asking you if it wouldn't annoy you to read a story with such a "cliché", a fanfiction crossover MLP-TLA already exists, etc.

I can rearrange the story without this idea, I just want to know your personal opinion about that, please :)

>>111204
That idea seems fresh enough, but you don't say enough about where you're going with it or how you're going about it. Is it only the mane six who are getting bending powers? What's the conflict? Setting? How is bending going to interact with magic?

>>111216
Hello, and thank for your answer.

First of all, only 4 of the mane 6 would get these "bending powers" (since there are only 4 "elements").

Interaction with magic? I'm afraid I don't understand, but there is no need at all to control magic nor being a unicorn to use the "bending power".

The setting/conflict? Well, they are -almost- completely unrelated to the "bending powers", I don't see the point in explaining the story then. ;) Unless you think it still has its importance.

Would it be in bad taste to have Pinkie preform a shoryuken and a Hadouken in a fight? I thought it would be funny, but doesn't hurt to ask.

>>111343
As a general rule of thumb, think of a ten year old. If he wouldn't find it funny, it's not funny.

The only ten year old I have close by actually said it was stupid. Then called me gay. I should probably not told him about the ponies.

Would anyone be willing to give me a hand here? I need lyrics for an Equestrian national anthem, sung to the tune of the show's theme.

>>111874

I thought Equestria already has a national anthem? Don't you remember that Christmas episode song?

>>111882
Honestly, I didn't consider that. I always thought that was more like a hymn, or a Christmas carol, in keeping with the theme of the episode. I suppose it could work as a national anthem, though.

all right guys, I need a good name for the school that the CMC go to. this is for a chess-themed parody fic, so go nuts - you bring the spitballs, I'll bring the wall. if anyone has anything that I decide to use, I'll give them a "co-written by" credit on the forthcoming story, to allay suspicions of whatever ulterior motives I might possess in making such a request.

something better than "Ponyville Elementary". this element has been left open by the show, so it's an opportunity to be witty!

>If you have a story idea that you do not wish to write because you are incapable of writing
I fall in this category.

Possible Title: The Book of Chaos


The general story arc would revolve around the 'book of chaos,' which is, specifically, the book in which Twilight read the prophecy of Nightmare Moon's return. There are actually two possible ways of writing a story based on this. But let me get through the basis of this first.

So yes, the story revolves around the book in S01E01 and S02E02. This book was originally owned by Discord back when he controlled Equestria. It is possible that he created the book or it was passed down (in which case, if it was passed down, there's a possibility Luna and Celestia knew about it, but more on that alter). This is a book which, depending on the period of time and/or whoever is reading it, changes what is written on it (or can actually, not read anything and be hollowed). Which yes, the main basis of ownership comes from when Discord gave Twilight his riddle. He knew that Twilight began her adventure once she read this book and he also knew that she currently had it in her possession and he hid the EoH inside this book. Yet he was encased in stone, but he knew. Reason? Its his book. You could also play it off as he also read it before being imprisoned. But yeah, this is a book of prophecy and, more importantly, of chaos.

So possible stories to go with this arc? I got two. One detailed and one not so detailed. The not so detailed one would involve Twilight opening the book one day, finding it changed and having her go in an adventure and you can take it wherever you want. The second one, which I find a bit more interesting, would revolve around the time before Discord was imprisoned and just before the time Celestia banished Luna/NMM into the moon.

The basis of this story would be the following. It will follow Celestia as she and her sister try and take back Equestria. They can either know about the book and, if so, they can believe that it's an incredibly powerful object or they can not know about the book. Point being, they travel around Equestria, in which the author shows that the sisters have a strong bond, even when Discord shows up and taunts them. They eventually catch up to him. Except there's a small catch. Discord has actually been waiting for them, as he has read in the book that this would be his finally stance before he would be defeated. And, of course, Discord being Discord, is sitting around, drinking his explosive chocolate glass, waiting for them to defeat him. When the sisters finally do show up and seeing him in this position, they tell him it's all over blah blah blah. This is where he goes and taunts them both with the book. But more specifically, Celestia. Luna goes on about how his taunts won't work and, although hesitant, Celestia agrees. He throws his book at them just as they fire the EoH at him. Battle ends but Celestia happens to see the book and takes it with her.She becomes mildly obsessed with the book and she may or may not use it to guard Equestria against natural disasters (author's choice). No, the interesting part comes when she reads a passage which portrays Luna becoming Nightmare Moon and taking over Equestria. Celestia, not wanting to believe the book, believes it is rubbish. But she can't stop thinking in the back of her mind that it might be true. From this, Celestia starts becoming distant from her sister and stops letting her control the kingdom as equals. Luna starts questioning Celestia and she can't help think of what is going on. In essence, by reading the prophecy in the book, Celestia takes the initial steps into transforming her sister into Nightmare Moon. The climax of the story comes where she reads the book one last time, where it says that Celestia must use the Elements of Harmony against her sister and banish her to the moon for one thousand years until someone else can free her. After much internal struggle, Celestia realizes what Discord has done, puts the book away where no one can read it and leaves to get the elements of harmony. And I believe that would be a good ending to stop there. I think taking further than that would not be necessary and leaves for a very nice dramatic ending. But then again, I'm no writer and this is just me throwing a good idea out to you guys, so if anyone takes it, the author can morph it to however they want. :)

Hey there, everypony.

So, although I'm still working on my first fic for now, I've got an idea for a silly one in my head. I've already wrote a general synopsis for the story, but now I just need a title. If possible, I'd like it to be a witty one; It's going to be partially comedic, after all.

Here's the synopsis:

-After thouzands of years of drifting randomly through space with Wheatley, Space Core is suddenly attracted by the gravity of an unknown planet, and crashes in a place called Neighpon.
Desiring to go back into space, Space Core and his new friend Ikepan venture forth on a quest to get Space Core back into space, and reunite him with his friend Wheatley.

I know, it's a weird synopsis. But it just came to me, and I'm actually quite excited to start with this.

Any possible recommendations for titles are welcome!


Also...

>>112130

Acland Academy?

How about a Blueblood fic in which he is the head of the East Equestria Company trading organization (so his cutie mark makes sense).

It could be an intriguing tale of political intrigue and Machiavellian scheming, combined with the inherently interesting potential for high-seas adventure and machinations of trade complexities and business affairs.

I'd read it.

I got an idea. It would be a redo of the first episode.

Twilight Sparkle is the protege of Princess Celestia, train as not only a world class mage, but a world class fighter. All of Twilight's time was occupied with studying and training. Twilight recognizes the second coming of Nightmare Moon. Celestia task her to gather five strong warriors to combat the threat. Twilight goes to ponyville's Summer Sun Celebration fighting tournament, intent on finding strong fighters.

I've been trying to figure out some good fighting styles for the team. Here's what I got:

Twilight: A mix between strong magic attacks, and lithe and agile strikes. (Also playing with an idea that because of her vast magic, it pollutes her darker emotions, manifesting as crazy Twilight, who i want to give a name but can't think of one.)

Rarity: A strong fencer. Utilizes counters and ripost. also uses gems for various attacks, such as exploding gems and cutters. She is still a fashion designer, and likes to design dresses and fighter uniforms.

Applejack: Agile, but focuses on strong strikes and whip like attacks. uses apple farming as a form of training. Granny Smith has also taught her the Apple Family ways of using Life apples. Life apples are Apples grown on wellsprings of magical life energy and when eaten grant increases in streangth, however if used too dependently can destroy ones body.

Pinkie Pie: Pinkie focuses on a very random style. she's unpredictable and adaptable and utilizes many different weapons and fighting styles in combat. Her pinkie sense allows her to see how a foe will react. Pinkie loves parties and a good fight. However Pinkie has a darker side.
Pinkimena: A ruthless alternete personality that loves nothing but fighting and carnege. She a manifestaion of Pinkie's sadness. Pinkie will usually try to finish serious fights quickly lest Pinkimena gain control. However Pinkimena often advises her during fight's giving her unusual insight.

Rainbow Dash: Her attacks rely on pure speed, usaualy relating to high speed strikes, takcles, and pile drives as well as utilizing weather for combat. Rainbow wants to join the Wonderbolts, a group of professinal stunt flyers and fighting team.

Fluttershy:... Many of you may be asking how the hay Fluttershy would fight... she's a berzerker... yeah... Fluttershy is so in touch with nature that she assumes many differnt fighting style based on animals. Fluttershy does not like to fight but will. in times of extremes, Fluttershy assumes a very feral form. This ups her speed and strength but she's very instinctual and will charge at a foe with reckless abandon.

Fluttershy was the hardest to figure out what to do. Anyway the idea may have been done before, but it requires a good execution. I'm feeling up to the task. Any pony think I should try it?

>>113016
A story about ponies just beating the crap out of each other. Well, I'm always up for that!

I seem to recall the "reimagining of the first couple of episodes" being a cliche at one point, but I don't remember encountering it that much. There was that one hard science-fiction thing, and... I'm not even sure if I can come up with another example. But even if it is a cliche, just because a story has a cliched premise doesn't mean it can't be pulled off well. If you're feeling up to the task, then by all means, go ahead, Mr. Scribe!

>>113019
I think I'd have to tweak some things like the elements of harmony. (Generosity would be hard to display in a fight.) So if anypony has any imput i'd apreciate it. Also a name for Twilight Psycho.

>>113019
That was never a cliché, Seattle just did it reasonably well enough the first time without getting any recognition.

>>113038
Dude... Seattle wasn't the first to do that, not by a longshot.

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-night-will-last-forever.html
And who knows how many other "what if Nightmare moon had won" stories I'm too lazy to find. Cliché to some extend.

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/05/story-world-without-rainbows.html
And all the other, "what if no rainboom?" stories. Also, ditto.

And those are the ones I remember. If someone knows of more stuff, I'm sure they can nerd all over the thread with the list.

>>113020
Well, in the show, that only seems to happen when Twilight thinks there's a serious problem she has to correct. So how about "Obsessed Twilight?"

And as for the Elements of Harmony, why don't you just rename them based around the fighting styles of their bearers? I remember when I took karate, there were five animals that some of the forms were based around (crane, dragon, tiger, and I forget the other two). So the confrontation with Nightmare Moon could look something like this:

>"Applejack, capable of overpowering any opponent she faces with her sheer brute strength, represents the Element of the Bear!"
>"Fluttershy, weak at first glance but devastating when provoked, represents the Element of the Cobra!"
>"Pinkie Pie, who achieves victory by staying one step ahead of her opponents at all times, represents the Element of the Dog!" shut up, I was out of ideas
>"Rarity, who cast off her enemies' attacks as if they were nothing more than silk, represents the Element of the Tortoise!"
>"Rainbow Dash, who evaded your attacks as though she saw them coming weeks in advance, represents the Element of the Falcon!"
>"You see, Nightmare Moon, when these five Elements are brought together, a spark is created that leads to the creation of the sixth... the Element of

Yeah, that last one doesn't really work, does it? Hm. Well, anyway, you get what I was saying, right? Basically what I'm suggesting here is spirit animals.

>>113095
What about

Applejack: Strength
Rainbow Dash: Speed
Rarity: Finesse
Pinkie Pie: adaptability
Fluttershy: Instinct
Twilight: Balance

>>113099
That works too.

Greetings and salutations colts and fillies of the fanfic page.

There's quiet a lot of stuff in this forum so I'm hoping that I'm posting this sorta thing in the right place.

> Ideas of a story
check
> Want to see if it makes sense
Yes

I've been trying to find a place to post some of the p0ny-fic that I've been producing and wanted to see if there would be some interest in the ideas I got formed for them. A friend directed me here so I hope that I can get some commentary to help see if I can go in the right direction.

There are so far 2 ideas I have in mind for these P0ny-fics. The first is something I got off 4chan, AiE or Anon in Equestria. In this story, Anon is granted an ability that his very thoughts and imaginations could be manifested into existence in this world. In other words, he can think of something and with the right kinda force, can create that figure or object instantly in the realm of Equestria.
>One such entity he creates is helping him be tactical
>try to understand "Friendship" from a loners perspective.

The second story is more of a double fan-fic, possessing both ideas from MLP and from a second source that i felt to be a rather cool addition.
BattleZone 1
If anyp0ny has gamed around the late 90's BattleZone 1 was an Activision RTS/FPS game that took the Cold War into space. The story I had with this is that a pilot of the US combat team on the moon is accidentally shot through a doorway that led to Ponyville, and through a rather unexpected entry finds himself stuck in this colourful world completely different from the cold war he just left.
>Stuck inside a locked-down Space Tank
>Ponies all over the place.
>No power source to charge tank to remove lock-down
>Fak!


So those are the two stories, and though I do plan on writing it and are a bit more than just seeds, I wonder if this is the right place to put them to see if they can roll with being legit fan0fics for pony.

>>113095
>(crane, dragon, tiger, and I forget the other two
crane/eagle, tiger, serpent/cobra, monkey, and mantis, dragon was used to describe a master of all five.
You could also just re-watch Kung Fu Panda,which reminds me, some cultures adopted bear style, which resembles tiger, but is still distinct.

>>113178
Are you new around here? Welcome. This is the thread for story idea development, but I have to warn you, those two stories might not take off too well. Then again they might, the general public loves their cliches, which brings me to my point: Both ideas you have there, while not terrible, are very cliche. I've seen both of them before and while the general public on FFN or Fimfiction might enjoy them, it would never make it to EQD. That's not to say you shouldn't write it, on the contrary, It will be a good way to improve your writing, by actually writing, and then sending it through here or some other reviewer-based story board. I just wanted to warn you about EQD's unofficial policy on cliches.

That said, what is it you need help with, other than to see if they can "roll with being legit fan0fics for pony."?

Right! Got this idea that I want an opinion on involving our favorite party pony flipping her shit and going on a crime spree throughout Equestria, stealing all sorts of sweets.

So, it starts with Pinkie realizing her sanctified sweets are no longer able to appease her, and she begins traveling to neighboring towns to get a different taste. Eventually, she runs out of bits. Her natural tendency to over exaggerate her situation ends up with her wanting more sweets and stuff without the cost. So she snags one cupcake from a diner she passes by while using the bathroom.

Soon, she develops a sort of kleptomania and finds herself slowly building it up by stealing higher-standard baked goods in larger quantities. Throughout all of this, she still retains her same, perky personality. The seriousness in the fic is fairly low and people are more so confused by Pinkie's antics than offended by her rampant attempts at thievery. Eventually, Pinkie's actions catch the eye of a specific pony. From the Royal Bureau of Nutrition, Agent Gumshoe is given the sole task of finding Pinkie and preventing further damage.

He follows her through various towns, always a step behind until they finally face off against each other in Appaloosa. The weapons in the battle are the various treats both parties picked up over the course of time, with Gumshoe being seriously outgunned. Pinkie's enormous stockpile nearly destroys him until he's able to take a leap of faith and jump out of cover, throwing a pie. It hits her directly, defeating her.

She licks it off her face, gets arrested, brought to court to pay a small fine, and heads back to Ponyville to live out her days as the badass motherfucking G she is. THE END.

>>113189
Yes, i guess I should have mentioned that this is my first post (well second now) and I just wanted to know i was in the right place.
Thank you for the welcome, happy to be here.


Cliche? Really.... I had a feeling it might, the AiE and any video game related to MLP as I've seen them before, perhaps a dime-a-dozen if that's what I'm getting. If its better to build the characters IN the world rather than bring one in then I can compensate in future works to just talk Pony.

I guess I'd like to partially know WHAT brings people about to really like a MLP fanfic, could the sole use of the MLP universe be counted as a "proper" fan fic or could something else be added in to be considered as a better option?
Honestly for me, I just wanna mess around in the reality that is MLP in the ways I think would be quiet interesting to take on.

The real big issue I have is more or less playing the role of the Mane six as well as the Royalty sisters. Luna, Pinkie Pie and AJ are pretty solid in the way I can write them, Dash and Flutter are rather rare in the ways I try to deal with them (moreso in the BattleZone story were Dash really goes all out about it) but Twilight, Rarity, and Celestia are the three I can't seem to fit, I can write them bit by bit, but I'm not sure I can beat the mark.
Further still, the relation between Celestia and Luna, all the fan-base aside and such, is it easy, rough, can it be competitive even? I'm not sure if that's something you could work a whole story off even, but its something I'd like to think about.

Aside from "wanting it to roll" with the rest of the heard, that's pretty much it. I'm sure its open to any sort of good or bad references from other ideas, but I want to try and keep it along the lines of "good", the function of dealing in the Cupcakes and etc realm of MLP will come later.

EQD is a goal, and I would be honored to get something published there eventually, but for now, I just want to get a crew to work with and some stories to write.

>>113197
Looks solid, you've got a good basic framework here. You'll have to make sure that the way she flows through these changes makes sense though, but I give it the go ahead.

>>113220
There's a whole thread on this somewhere in here, I'll have to dig it up.
For now though, just write it, browse the board, find a reviewer, or send it to the training grounds thread. I'm sure somepony will be happy to help you there.

Applejinx is very good at characterization, so if you're stuck on that, i'd drop it in his thread. Until you get it written though, I used to have a thread on characterization, so I'll take a shot at it:
>Twilight, Rarity, and Celestia are the three I can't seem to fit
You and just about everypony in here. Don't feel bad, those three are kinda complex, and many authors struggle with them.
>the relation between Celestia and Luna, all the fan-base aside and such, is it easy, rough, can it be competitive even?
That's another one we see a lot, and given your skill as a writer, it can be a very good plot device.

Give me a second I need to get Pop Culture straight. But my boredom level's a reaching points that are higher than the empire state. My queue is basically empty all across the board and my lack of writing activity is making me feel floored.

Okay I cant keep this up but seriously as I wait for some new inspiration to strike me with the Pop Culture story I've decided to write a new fic. Plot is this. The CMC are all grown up. Apple Bloom's working on the family farm as repairpony, Sweetie's a pop star taking a break from on tour, and Scoot's is a proud member of Wonderbolts with Rainbow. Apple Bloom is trying to spend more time with her fellow compatriots but they blow her off for work. Apple Bloom is rightfully angry so she sneaks of to Zecora's to make a potion to give her more time with her friends a'la Cutie Pox. What she ends up doing is reverting them back to their filly selves. They then have to scour the Everfree Forest for ingredients to make the antidote. Hijinks, trials, and the like insue and the three rediscover their friendship. They complete their journey only to have Sweetie and Scootaloo decide they like being fillies with no responsibilities and decide not to take the antidote to spend more time with Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom then takes the potion which disheartens the other two and they then take it as well. The story ends with the three upset that they can't spend more time with each other but resolve to set more time aside for each other in the end.

So first has this idea or something similar been done in the past and second can anyone think of a good name for this if it hasn't been done.

Does any pony know when hearts and hooves day would be? I had thought it was the same as valentines day, but the episode seems to take place during spring or summer.

>>113303

It's the day they see if he comes out of his hole and sees his shadow or not. If he gets blazed and stays out for a bit, it's Hearts and Hooves day. If not, wait another couple days until he has one in his hands and is out there.

>>113308
Err... okay yeah that was a stupid question. Starting from janury what would be the order of the three holidays?

For part of a story idea I have, I need evidence from canon that Rarity is a half-vampire who battles demons by night.

It's ridiculous but it'll be funnier if it's half-plausible.

>>113314
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Episodes
Winter Wrap up was aired on December 24 2010 0_o
Hearth's warming eve was aired December 17 2011
Hearts and Hooves Daw was aired February 11 2012
The only one out of place is Winter wrap up, Hearts and Hooves day could have been just a warm spring day, considering Winter Wrap up seems to happen early in our winter season

>>113314
>>113364
And lest you forget, Fall Weather Friends and its Running of the Leaves was on 2011-01-28. Season 2 was better about putting holiday episodes on proper dates than Season 1 was, but the general assumption last year was that the episodes were not necessarily in chronological order, barring episodes with explicit continuity references like the Grand Galloping Gala arc (tickets, dresses, gala). So, for the original question, it's probably safe to go with whatever your headcanon says is right, and not put too much stock in the episode air dates.

Actually, I should follow that advise myself *makes a note*

>>113337
Well, for starters, there's all of these dress orders that she receives. How many times in canon has she worked ungodly hours on a project? What if she was actually staying up late to do battle, and the "working on a large order" was merely an alibi? She's tired and ragged, not because of excessive sewing, but because she was up all night swapping blows with hellspawn.

As for the half-vampire bit, nothing comes to mind yet.

I have been thinking of writing a fic where an OC moves into ponyville and after some time starts to teach twilight destruction magic. The oc is a cynical alcoholic due to his past, but eventual agrees to teach twilight. After he feels she is at a beginners level he has to leave and runs into trouble, she 2-5 others of the main 6 go out to rescue him.

There twilight uses her newly practiced magic to fight some baddies (manticores, diamond dogs and the like) but realizes how easy it is to kill someone and starts to question whether or not that this should be considered dark/evil magic and is she now evil for knowing it.

Loose idea rattling around in my head for a day or two.

>>113283
Oh, hi! Welcome back, Khakispony. We missed you! I've certainly never run into that kind of storyline before. It seems like it could be pretty episodic, though. I'm intrigued. Um... you say you need a title? ...Hmm... how about "The Last Crusade?"

Also, are you SURE your queue is empty?

>>113449
Ooh, a psychological drama about morality and mortality? Sign me up! If you're going to do this, you need to make sure you have a compelling OC. You're going to need to figure out his backstory is, even if you don't necessarily tell the audience. Flesh out the character. What happened to him, and how did it make him what he is?

>>113450
Thanks for your input though I don't know how well naming a story after the best Indiana Jones flick would go Raiders of the Lost Ark can suck it!. And yes I am aware that you're in my queue but you sorta scared me since the first page wasn't really changed as far as I can tell. Still you can expect a review sometime soon.

>>113450
Well for the back story I was thinking of having him be born in an arid desert outside of equestria's borders and him and his family moved to Canterlot where his parents went into politics. Oc stumbled upon a book in the Canterlot library with the author of T.N.G and that is where he started his fascination with that magic. While practicing he loses of a fire ball and burns his house down scarring him and killing his mother ( I would only touch lightly on this I don't want to get a dark or grimdark tag).

Soon after he is disowned and eventually finds his way into the guard. His brother wants to seek revenge but knows in a magical fight he couldn't win so he follows his father's hoofsteps in politics and makes him into a criminal through political ties and claims of practicing black magic (resurrecting dead) and gets him banished to the everfree forest for X amount of years.

I've been writing a Cloudchaser x Flitter shipping fic they're not sisters. After the opening scene where Cloudchaser is transferred into Flitter's class, Flitter invites Cloudchaser over to her house to play.

But I have no idea what they should do! Any ideas would be nice.

>>113465
Well how old are they in your beginning? If they are just fillies you may want to have them be best friends till one pivotal moment that shapes the feeling for one of them to the other.

>>113468
They're the same age as Apple Bloom.

I've only thought of an end to the first story arc, where they get their cutie marks. Then the second arc would begin with Cloudchaser going off to study meteorology. And Flitter'd be all, "No, I can't live without you!" Then they start living together.

But I can't get there 'til I figure out what they would do now. Please help.

>>113471
In order to help I'd need to know more things. What plot points have you hit? What is the rate of shipping? What are their personalities? Who likes who? Do they know it? Do they know they like the other? Have they talked about it? Does one have a coltfriend? How would they react to the other admitting they liked the other? What would they do if the other one suddenly kissed one of them? Just as is, Flitter seems extremely attached and moving with a rate of very fast shipping. See, shipping is like physics. You have to solve the equation: rate of shipping = ( emotional destination - emotional start) / time it takes.

Long story short, more information is needed for me to reliably help.

>>113474
>What plot points have you hit?
They've just met. This is really early into the fic.

>What is the rate of shipping?
It's going to start as friendshipping, but in the second arc sequel they realize that they love each other.

>What are their personalities?
Flitter is very outgoing, but not very bright. Cloudchaser is smarter, but she isn't really a social butterfly.

>Who likes who?
>Do they know it?
>Do they know they like the other?
>Have they talked about it?
At this point they've just met. But later they both realize that they have feelings for each other.

>Does one have a coltfriend?
No, they're the same age as Apple Bloom at this point.

>How would they react to the other admitting they liked the other?
Cloudchaser would be surprised and a little embarrassed. But Flitter would be all, "I love you too, Cloudchaser." Or something like that.

>What would they do if the other one suddenly kissed one of them?
Either of them would probably be surprised, but then kiss the other back.

>Just as is, Flitter seems extremely attached and moving with a rate of very fast shipping.
Not really, the second arc sequel starts with them the same age as the mane 6.

>>113543
Here's what I have so far (I skipped ahead a bit.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19DOFZg9TVWZCSxwpJ5WNbdReF7fXAqMuzN2OebyCCfg/edit

Hey, Story Forge.

Got a couple questions.

1: Can I have a paper plane, even though Equestria doesn't have planes? I never have the character refer to them as such, so just wondering.

2:What's the Equestrian equivalent to an Irish accent. I know Trotingham is considered british, so I was just wondering if there might have been one for Irish.
(Conditional: If there is not what's a good name for it that readers would know i'm refering to an irish accent but contains a witty horse pun?(Maybe I'll make a joke about how their runner in the Equestrian games was on drugs.(Wanna see if anyone gets it.)))

3: Could ponyville have 2 newspapers?

4: Would Rainbow Dash hold some contempt for Mare-Do-Well?

Well that's it. If somepony could answer my questions in a timely manner, I would appreciate it.

>>113724
They have gliders, and Pinkie built a helicopter. A plane isn't a huge stretch of the imagination.

I'd suggest you look up a list of Irish city and town names and make a pun off of one of them.
To get you started: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_status_in_Ireland

There's no reason why it couldn't. Why even ask that? If canon doesn't say otherwise and there's good reason for it, assume yes.

It was sorta obvious she did in the episode, so yeah, duh.

It's like you're not even looking for the answers before asking the questions >_>.

>>113728
With the mare-do-well question I meant after she found out it was her friends. Call me paranoid.

>>113731
She likes her friends, she doesn't like Mare-Do-Well. If someone she doesn't know got gussied up in the suit I don't think she'd be particularly appreciative.

>>113441
>>113337
ooh, I've got it! It's a little shaky, but for the vampire bit: remember how she always goes to the spa with Fluttershy? What if she has "ulterior motives" for keeping Fluttershy close? Just a thought I had.

>>113465
>>113471
Well, you could take another look at "The Stare Master, to get a feel for fillies' antics. Perhaps not constantly trying to find their cutie marks but something fun and imaginitive. Master Yoda said it himself "Truly wonderful the mind of a child is." Fillies have incredible imaginations, heck, if you've got a younger sibling, you might swipe some ideas off of them. The bare basics though go pack to preschool days; they're both fillies, so dress-up is a viable option, as is make-believe, and dolls, and the infamous tea party. It's all about using your Imagination. Damn I wish I knew how to make that sparkle.

So, after rediscovering SimCity 4, I came up with this idea as a crossover.

Canterlot lies near the borders of Equestria, but is heavily protected by abnormally high mountains from all sides of the border. One day, Celestia is standing at her balcony when she sees the mountains just flatten themselves with no explanation. Instead of approaching, she watches intently from her spot and sees creatures quickly built what seem to be small houses and cottages with paved roads. It seems primitive from her perspective, but she continues watching them from her spot, not worrying if their a threat due to their small numbers.

Over the course of the months, the town grows significantly, with a growing industry in raw materials and various services. While a royal decree prevents any interaction and these new neighbors do well to avoid the Equestrians, Celestia is left wondering if a peace treaty is possible. Over time, the town becomes a city and larger buildings come into existence, much to her surprise. She then sends unicorn guards who secretly spy on the neighbors with some sort of invisibility spell. Plenty of information is recorded and brought back, but what truly captures her attention is a photo of the leader of the creatures that seem to be called "Sims." This leader goes only by the name "Mr. Mayor."

Eventually, more information is retrieved and it is revealed that Mr. Mayor is a highly-valued, confident, and very capable asset to the city he governs. Though he isn't seen very often, if at all, Celestia's hidden respect for him grows alongside the new neighboring city called "New Maxis." In a years time, the city grows so large that skyscrapers are already being developed, out-rivaling those of Manehattan and other cities, with booming economies, wealthy residents, and an overall well-run city. Though, things seem to take a turn for the worse when disaster looms over the horizons.

Several highly-destructive happenings occur within the city, nearly obliterating it each time only for it to bounce back with only a small percentage lost. Instead of sending aid, Celestia continues watching and taking notes on the Sims, seeing how they fair and their will to survive. Slowly, the general well-being of the city crumbles and citizens become unruly. Mr. Mayor, the enigmatic governor of the city, is revealed by spies to be falling apart alongside his city, where he resorts to illicit activities (starting small, however) to quell his stress.

It's at this point that Celestia decides to intervene and assist the city of New Maxis, where she provides relief and aid, much to the Mayor's dismay, who believes he was more than capable enough to rebuild his city himself without help. He begrudgingly accepts when citizens revolt in unrest, making him less desirable as the Mayor.

All I got so far in terms of an idea on what the hay this fic would contain, though I don't know if I'd ever pursue it. Hell, it could Mayor Mare instead of Celestia and the city near Ponyville for all it matters. Though, Mayor x Mayor shipping seems a bit odd.

>>113835

Celestia and Luna are not the only alicorns that keep charge of the day and night. There is a third, hidden alicorn prince(Description: Black coat, white mane, and silver horn)that opens the gateway on the plane of existance during dusk and dawn to allow the the passing of the moon and sun. He has lived and died a thousand times, only able to exist in the twilight. But one day, still trapped in his stone prison, Discord manages to gain enough power to pull Crepusc (which will be the alicorn's name) from the sky. This traps Equestria in an eternal dawn, the sun unable to rise and the moon unable to fall. Inevitably, this alicorn crashlands in the everfree forest, losing his memory. The only thing he has retained is an instintcual martyrdom, feeling that he does not deserve a sliver of generosity. Not only that, but Discord's spirit has leaked out and is wreaking havoc across the land. Crepusc is the only one who can stop him. In the end, Crepusc's tale is revealed to be one of an ultimate sacrifice for his sisters.

>>113932
You're going to need a pretty good explanation as to why Discord is able to influence things outside of his prison, and of such magnitude as well. Furthermore, why the stone prison broke. Also, without his memory--assuming I read that correctly--Crepusc is going to have a hard time defeating Discord.

Well that idea flopped.

>>113932
(Merged from >>113916)

Basically, what Nick said: you've got a heck of a Gary Stu brewing.

Let me see what I can do.

To start with, Crepusc can''t be your protagonist. Protagonists need to face challenges in a way that the readers can identify with. When you make a character extra special, it limits where you can put him in your story.

So the natural thing to ask is "who will this Crepusc cause problems for and how?" So if he's "self-sacrificing," maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe one of his sisters want to protect him.

But it will be difficult to shoehorn a new alicorn into the royal family. It raises the question "why haven't we heard of him yet?"

I think answering those questions might give you the beginning of a story. Remember though that a story is when a character wants something and can't get it without losing something else.

>>113932

This isn't a very original idea here, but I think the real issue is that you don't actually have a story: you have a character. The rest of the story only exists to show us that character in action.

Now, let's be honest... that's what all stories are: They show us a character in action. What does Sherlock Holmes do? He solves crimes. That's it. Every single one of his stories goes the same way: Holmes solves a mystery. But here's the thing: it's not like the crime decided to occur just so Holmes could solve it.

A good protagonist needs to live in a believable world, with believable supporting characters a believable chain of events, and all sorts of other believable stuff. Otherwise, the reader won't believe it. It's just a story about this awesome/sad/angry/lonely/wacky OC, and... that's it. You might add other stuff as you write, but it'll feel tacked on.

The truth is, cliche can be done well. But the more cliched an idea is, the more skilled the writer has to be to pull it off in an interesting way. If you're determined to stick with this premise, I'd at least suggest you give some thought to what else will be in the story. Give the character some realistic characters, events or scenery to interact with, and he'll seem more believable.

Also, I know what Crepusc means in Latin... it's still a really wonky name. Just sayin'.

>To start with, Crepusc can''t be your protagonist. Protagonists need to face challenges in a way that the readers can identify with. When you make a character extra special, it limits where you can put him in your story.

What, are you kidding me? Sure he can be a protagonist. Just make sure his important character interactions are with other godlike beings. If he's related to Celestia and Luna, they must have some sort of family dynamic... and no matter how strange it may be to us mere mortals, they must surely think of themselves as some kind of family. There's something there we can relate to.

Also, about the whole compulsive martyrdom thing: maybe his death and rebirth is a key part of how he manages the dusk and dawn... he dies twice a day, every single day, at six in the morning and six in the evening. He's gotten so used to it that his sisters don't have much sympathy for him anymore. "Such whining!" they say. "It's not like it's a real martyrdom."

But what if, one day, he faces a threat that can kill him for real? He's never thought about that before, and maybe it scares him silly: "This must be how mortals feel, all the time! How do they find the strength to carry on?" Suddenly, he's the one sympathizing with us. Character growth! Two points!

It gets worse. Now that he's faced with his first real sacrifice, all his previous martyrdoms seem hollow and trite to him. Now he finally has a chance to prove his mettle... if he can swallow his terror long enough to do it.

The moral of the story? The value of a sacrifice depends on what was truly lost. Not what you think was lost.

For the sisters, maybe add a teaspoon of "you don't appreciate something until it's gone."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjot9jkpmv0 After watching this video and reading the description, I thought of an idea for an alternate universe fic.

The idea is that, in G3-3.5, Sweetie Belle was the only unicorn. But what if I wrote a deconstruction of that, where her horn is a mutation and she just wants to be normal. But in the end, accepts the fact that she's different.

What do you think, does it have potential?

>>114002
Nearly all story ideas have potential, it just depends on the writer.

I personally see this one working as a tragedy, or--since tragedies are usually of the victim's doing--just sad. Like the ugly duckling syndrome. It looks to be a nice fleshy story too, with lots of drama and emotions flying about. I say go for it.
Of interesting note: Scootaloo is the only non-background pegasus filly. Featherweight is excluded due to only appearing in one episode.

>Nearly all story ideas have potential, it just depends on the writer.
I love playing with cliches and tropes in interesting ways, and I've been told--by someone who would never lie to spare my feelings--that I do it well.

Whenever I see someone describe an OC or a plot that seems cliche, I don't measure it on a scale of "good to bad." Instead, one end of my scale reads "This idea is very cliched or unoriginal and would require great skill and style to do well." The other end reads "This idea is very safe and unoriginal and requires very little skill or style to do well."

Whenever I think of saying "no", I try to say "yes, but" instead. I'd like to see that sort of convention catch on.

Okay, guys, here's the setup. I'm writing a Pinkie Pie party thrown for characters who have literally been pulled out of the 1980s. And what's a party without good music? Subsequently, I need ponified versions of bands and songs that were popular in the 60s, 70s and 80s. Disco is perfectly acceptable, if you were wondering. But here's the problem. Some of these names translate to ponification well, like Loingo Boingo's 1985 New Wave classic "Weird Magic" or Princess's 1975 rock anthem "Colthemian Rhapsody." But there's others, like Men Stallions, I know Without Hats's "Safety Dance" or The Lovin' Spoonful's "Do You Believe In Magic" yes, I do have to put that in, it's a plot point that don't work or only work halfway. The question is, though, is it acceptable to not change the titles of the songs, or do I need to come up with a suitable pun? Also, if you have some you'd like to dump on me, feel free to suggest them! Thanks in advance, guys!

>>114164
Can somepony tell me what the hay OC means?

>>114335
And maybe I should add in some more details.
1. Crepusc is going to turn out to be responsible for the deaths of thousands when he was young and naive, explaining his martyrdom and why he took the position of the prince of twilight.
2. Lets change it to Discord rallying a bunch of bad guys in order to break him free.
3. His sister's love and adore, him but he had personally asked to keep his existance secret, for he felt he did not deserve to be known.
4. If not through Crepusc's point of veiw, then how about on of the mane6?

Typos.

>>114335
"OC" stands for "Original Character." In the context of fan fiction, it means a character who doesn't exist in the canon of the show-- a character you made up just for the purposes of your story. Famous examples would be Little Pip from Fallout: Equestria, or Jigsaw from Antipodes.

>>114338
(thank you) And I agree with DuncanR with the point of him facing true mortality.

>>114341
And his name is supposed to short for "twilight"
in latin. What were you thinking?

>1. Crepusc is going to turn out to be responsible for the deaths of thousands when he was young and naive, explaining his martyrdom and why he took the position of the prince of twilight.
Erm... so you're making him tragic and emo? Well, he'll still have to discover something that forces him to change in some way. And whatever it is, it'll probably move him away from "tragic emo" and towards "long and difficult road to redemption." Maybe (1) his martyrdom is actually just pointless self-inflicted suffering that does no real good, or (2) what he did may seem horrific but it had a greater purpose nobody understands, or (3) he's busy seeking the forgiveness of others when he really needs to forgive himself.

>2. Lets change it to Discord rallying a bunch of bad guys in order to break him free.
I don't know what this would change, unless you want to focus more on Discord's ability to rally bad guys. personally, I think it would be more interesting to watch Discord rally a bunch of good guys to do his bidding.

>3. His sister's love and adore, him but he had personally asked to keep his existence secret, for he felt he did not deserve to be known.
So you're making him incredibly popular, even to other godlike beings, but also incredibly humble? This is definitely Marty-Stu territory. Consider: Why do they adore him more than the average relative? What is it about him that makes him adorable? Does he no longer posses these qualities?

>4. If not through Crepusc's point of view, then how about on of the mane6?
I don't think the point of view is the real problem here. It's the premise of the story itself, which is based entirely around your Original Character. An OC is something you can only get away with if s/he is part of a story that is already interesting on it's own merits.

>And I agree with DuncanR with the point of him facing true mortality.
I am glad you find the idea interesting! The core of that idea, however, is forcing the main character to grow or change in an interesting way.

>And his name is supposed to short for "twilight" in latin. What were you thinking?
Oh, I know what it means... but I had to look it up. Before I did, I immediately thought that "Crepusc" sounded like some kind of unpleasant disease or something. Do not pick a name that has an obscure significance: in the two and a half seconds it takes your reader to Google it, they've already made a snap judgment based entirely on what kind of vowels the name includes. The character's name starts with a 'C'? Ooh, he's a bad guy I just know it. It's not fair, but that's the way it goes.
http://www.superheronation.com/2007/10/15/character-naming-superheroes-and-otherwise/
Also, there's already a character in the cartoon whose name is related to dawn and dusk. Perhaps you've heard of her... Twilight Sparkle? Ring any bells?

>>114347
1. Number 2 was what I was trying to get at.
2. That does sound better.
3. I'm not saying he's incredibly popular, I'm just saying that his sister's do appreciate him and that he just doesn't want to be known.
4. I agree.
5. OK.
6. I know, in fact it is going to be Twilight that helps him forgive himself.

So, there's this hypothetical Fallout spinoff called Resource Wars, whose mention I came across on the Fallout Wiki the other day, and I got to thinking: what if we took that idea and added ponies?

That's the high concept, and I've done a bit of brainstorming on it already. Here's what I have so far:

The story would be centered on a platoon of Equestrian mechanized infantry fighting in the Zebra homeland. The war is nearly over by this point, and the ponies are blitzing their way straight to the Zebra capital. Then the bombs fall and the world ends.

Through miraculous circumstances, the platoon survives the apocalypse, for what it's worth. They aren't the only ones, however. The world may have ended, but war, war never changes. The soldiers will have to deal with remnants of the Zebra forces, dwindling supplies, and the hope-crushing reality of simple day-to-day survival as they struggle to find a way back home, even though they know they probably don't have a home to return to.

So, that's where I'm going with this. I've already fleshed out an entire command roster for all 40 members of the platoon, including some basic characterization. I know how they're going to fight, what weapons and tactics they'll use, etc. I have a few major set-pieces planned, and I have a good idea of how the story is going to end.

The devil, of course, is in the details. If anyone can help me with:

1) Ideas for action sequences. I foresee a lot of the fic being firefights and skirmishes, and I fear things will become stale quickly. Interesting scenarios in which to stage a battle are what I'm looking for. Keep in mind, the setting is the Zebra homeland, which in the Fallout: Equestria verse is analogous to China.

2) How to handle all these characters. I've never really dealt with so many people in a story before, so if anyone has such experience, and can give me tips on how to efficiently introduce and develop all these ponies, that'd be much appreciated.

3) How to deal with character deaths. As one might expect, not everyone is going to make it out alive in this fic, but I predict I'll have trouble actually offing my characters. Does anyone have any tips on how to write character deaths and not feel bad about it?

*Whew* Okay, to any brave souls who stuck with me through that wall of text, I ask: thoughts?

hey ponies I'm wondering if anypony can help me figure out how to show somepony as being surprised or shocked at something. Soundslikeponies was keen enough to spot this little error right here, and after four hours of mulling over it, I've got nothing.
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
“Oh, hey Twilight, hey... what is she doing here?” He asked, suddenly very close to her. Trixie stepped back, slightly taken aback by the dragon’s resentful attitude, before taking back her ground, staring the little creature down.
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
Also curious about how to make this more subtle

>“Alright, go get ‘em miss Great and Powerful Trixie. Knock ‘em dead kid,” he said, coughing near the end.

>>114363
I only ever read part of Fallout: Equestria. But what the hay, I'll see what I can do for you.

1) To make a battle interesting, what you need is an interesting location. If I told you I was just fighting in a desert, you wouldn't be all that interested. If I told you I was fighting in a remote military facility in the New Mexico desert trying to defend a rocket from being destroyed, that would be more interesting. Fill your settings with detail and make sure we know why your combatants are fighting.

2) 40 characters? Good God. That's quite a task. I'd recommend you focus on a few key players, giving the smaller characters a scene or two every now and then. However, if this is a character-driven work, I'd recommend against using "redshirts," or expendable characters that are just there to get killed. I'd recommend that you introduce every character well before you try to shoot them, however. Which leads me nicely into...

3) Allow me to share some advice from someone I hold in high regard. (He was talking about comic books, but I think it still applies.)
"Now, to be honest, I'm actually really against character death in general. Why take away the ability to tell stories about them? But if you're going to kill a character, here's a tip. If you really must kill a character, you make sure it's their crowning moment of awesome. The moment when the readership [sic] looks at that character and says, 'Oh, that is the most badass thing I've ever seen!'" -Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug
What I'm saying here is, don't kill characters off unless you feel you can give them a proper sendoff and/or make sure they didn't die for nothing.

And those are my two bits. Before I go, I'd just like to say I think it's ironic that the Zebras' homeland is equivalent to China. In "Hearts and Hooves Day," after all, we saw two oxen pulling a cart. I bet the creator of Fallout Equestria was kicking himself when that happened.

>>114367
it's a little bit tricky without the context of everything else going on, but I might do something like this:

***
***

"Oh, uh, hey Twilight!" Spike hailed as he entered the room. "I was able to find that book about the fifty shades of gray you asked for, but it's got this weird smell and I don't--" He broke off as he noticed Trixie glowering back at him from a short distance. "Hey... what's she doing here...?" he asked, stepping forward to confront the unwanted visitor. Trixie shuffled back a bit before composing herself with a
"hmph!" and returning his leer.

***
***

someone like Nick could expound this way better than I can, but you have to be clear with your actions. I had to parse your sentence a few times before I knew what you were actually "getting at" in terms of your blocking. another good tip is to try and condense your adverbial modifiers (think of it as a game where you get the most points for summarizing them with single actions or depictions). pay attention to prosody too, especially when writing dialogue: italicize, take advantage of the "feel" of punctuation, use uh's and um's, etc., and damn the torpedoes.

>>114391
If I may...

>If you really must kill a character, you make sure it's their crowning moment of awesome. The moment when the readership [sic] looks at that character and says, 'Oh, that is the most badass thing I've ever seen!'" -Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug
While that is generally an excellent rule, I would argue that there is a time and a place for deaths that are--well--pathetic.

Death will always affect a reader's feelings towards a work, for it is one of the universal human experiences. Given that, the question becomes one of how you wish to influence those feelings.

*Hero is wounded, lying at the at the feet of Villain. Hero can do nothing but plead that Villain leave Target alone. Villain laughs and shoots Hero in the head.

*Hero and Villain have a knock-down, drag-out fight for control of Target. Villain dies, but Hero only lasts long enough to pass on his last words to Love Intrest before he too passes away, a smile on his face.

*Hero has done it. He's beaten Villain and saved Target. He's a bit roughed up and he's totally exhausted, but it's nothing that some of Love Intrest's home cooking won't fix. He just has to--*BLAM* Mook stands over Hero's body. It must be his lucky day; any other time and Hero would've swatted Mook like a fly.

Those are different deaths from professional works, and each--ideally--evokes a different reaction.

Not all deaths need to be glorious, but you must always think about what you are trying to convey.

Even if--say--you're killing off scores of extras, heh heh heh...

>>114406
...Aaaand I can't spell "interest." [Sighs.]

>>114393
Yeah, the context probably would help. Basically I've got Trixie as a nice pony, who is trying to explain to Twilight why she's not the mean braggart Twilight met two years prior. Spike walks in and surprises her with his resentment. SLP mentioned it was very telly, but I can't find a way around that.

as for the second one--Spoiler Alert!--the speaker ends up dying by the end of the story, due to a fatal illness that he kept secret from trixie to keep her from ever worrying about him. The coughing is an attempt at foreshadowing, but SLP said it was too obvious.

>>114463
Regarding your spoiler box, I can see why he said that:

Link forthcoming:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncurableCoughOfDeath

>>114483
and that right there is my problem. I could just cut the foreshadowing altogether, but then the death later would make no sense. however I can't just leave it as it is, because it's far too obvious. I was originally going to go with a heart attack, but I can't figure out how to make that any less obvious.

>>114504
If you have a particualr real-world disease in mind, you could (re?)research it and use a different symptom as the foreshadow.

If it's not a real disease the sky's the limit; you can give him almost any recurring symptom--minor or major--and use that in place of the cough. One story I particularly liked used headaches. The character was introduced as being migrane-prone, and for the most part they only manifested during/after high-stress scenes so they seemed more like a character quirk than a death-flag.

Alternatively, instead of trying to foreshadow it subtly you could pull a bait-and-switch: make it clear from the get-go that he has a slow-acting yet potentially lethal illness, and make it appear throughout the story that he or his friends will find a cure. At the end they don't, and he dies. Bonus tragedy points if the reason they don't is that the bigger issues of the main storyline keep them too busy saving the world or whatnot.

Now that I've reread it, I think it's great but I would like to have someone bounce the idea with to smooth some of the parts out.>>108023

>>114579
I recall a couple of reviewers offered to help people bounce off ideas and plan with people their stories from the beginning, but I don't have a list and I don't know if they still do that.

That makes me wonder, where would one go ask if there if reviewers are doing something or another? I mean, we have the list and a very small description, but there isn't really a reviewers thread were they just answer questions and stuff. Ask in the training grounds? On the Sticky? Lurk each thread until they say so?

>>114582


>>96408

>>114585
Or you could do there.

>>114582
>>114585
>>114586

Thanks guys for the help. I'll go and check it out.

And this my fellow writers is an idea I will never do. One is because I'd have to make them human, and two because where the hell could I make conflict.

An MLP/Pokemon crossover.

Plot: Twilight, a student of Sabrina, goes to Unova to take over a battle club. There, she has to deal with the club’s employees.

Characters:
Twilight Sycker(Sigh-ker) (Twilight Sparkle)

AJ Smith (Applejack)

Rain Darcy Bowen (Rainbow Dash)

Sharon Flutter(Fluttershy)

Risa Altree(Rarity)

Pinkamena DiannaPiece (Pinkie Pie)

Pokemon:

Twilight:Spike(Flygon) Owlowiscious(Noctowl)
Magic(Espion or Gardevoir)

Applejack:Winona(Arcanine)
Applebuck(Tropius)

Rainbow Dash:Tank(Torterra)
Wonderbolt(Staravia)

Fluttershy: Flutter-Wonder(Butterfree)
Angel(Buneary)
Rarity:Diamond(Cryogonal) Opalescence(Persian)

Pinkie Pie: Gummy(Totodile) Party (Drifloon)


Roles:

Twilight: The head of the battle club.

Applejack: The Battle club’s chef and berry grower.

Rarity: Contest Trainer

Rainbow Dash: Battle trainer.

Fluttershy: Nurse

Pinkie Pie: Battle Trainer.

>>114595

Here's some conflict...
They want to travel their world and become the best in the respective fields?

They have to win some prize money to keep their club open?

There is a horrible secret about the other battle clubs in the city that they are unaware of? Involving smart pokemon eating humans.

I could keep going.

>>114598
Okay yes the whole "Save the club!" thing had crossed my mind. But the idea in general was so stupid that i didn't think anyone would want to read it anyway.

>>114601
But you could spice it up with why they have to save it. Um, maybe Cheerlie is against battle clubs and violence and she leading a protest against it?

Trixie swindles the deed to the building and raising the rent as a bit of twisted revenge against Twilight.

Gilda who works at the bank is embezzling the money and their payments for the building isn't getting through and they are on the streets?

Celestia, a strange new pokemon, has appeared and is trying to convince them that they were all poke... ponies and is destroying their lives to make them accept the truth.

>>114605
Might do a combination of one and two. Also, what would fit better for Twilight's pokemon Gardevoir or Espion. In fact do the pokemon fit the characters. On a side note, while I gave them human names (Which I also want an opinion on) they will use the pony names as nicknames for each other.

(On another side note why are all your answers two normal ones then a somewhat morbid one?)

>>114621
I like the human names but I'm a little fuzzy about the pokemon you used so you'll have to talk to someone else about that.

Which group of answers are talking about? Celestia coming in to destroy/rescue their dreams or pokemon manipulating the scenes, eating people to increase their brainpower?

>>114625
Uh kinda both, i mean destroying peoples lives is kinda... eh, then the eating people... I'm gonna have nightmares about Gyarados.

>>114638

Both of those ideas can be greatly expanded upon. Sure, you could take them to their gory or soul-crushing conclusion or you could do something else.

That something else is the stuff of great stories.

It's not to be taken as face-value, but something as a jumping point. Don't go 'oh' to the morbid idea but 'why'.

>>114642
Valid point... Well hell, looks like i might actually write this story.

>>114649
I'll be happy to read it!

Hey Story Forge,

Does the elements of harmony's rainbow beam have an official name? I've just been calling it the Harmony Beam so far.

>>114878
In G1 there was the Rainbow of Light (a terrible name, in my opinion); I've heard some folks refer to thw EoH's rainbow by that name.

>>114888
I have to agree that Rainbow of Light is terrible. Think I'll just stick with Harmony Beam, least that way it says where the power is derived from.

>>114878
>>114888
>>114890

If you want the "rainbow finishing move" to remain truly epic/mythic, do not give it a name at all. People name things to give themselves a sense of control/familiarity over them.

If you must, you can have one of the mane six give it an informal nickname that the others complain about. They know it doesn't do it justice but they have to call it something, and it ends up catching on. This nickname should never be referred to by the narrator: it's only used by the mane six, and only ever in dialogue.

>>114929
>They know it doesn't do it justice but they have to call it something, and it ends up catching on.

Except, I need to refer to it as something, because 'giant rainbow lazer' just sounds horrible.

>>114937
Purple is a color of the rainbow (well, indigo and violet are):

Off the top of my pointy, purple prose-prone head:

A titanic rainbow shot up from the assembled Elements, twisting and arcing in the air only to come crashing down on [Villain].

Sometimes things don't need names. If you're worried about how the Six would refer to it, I second DuncanR's suggestion.

>>114937

I'm pretty sure It's going to sound horrible no matter what you call it. The more frequently it appears and the more casually it's referred to, the less wonder it will hold for the reader. Personally, I would have been much happier if it had been a unique, one-shot thing: I was very disappointed when they used it against discord simply because it was no longer unique or original.Actually, I thought Discord's final showdown was a huge disappointment in general. Talk about a cheap, unsatisfying win.

Mind you, I don't know what sort of context your story has. If it draws inspiration from Dragonball Z/Sailor Moon/Pokemon, then the mane six will probably shout the name of the attack while they're using it in the midst of a raging battle. In that case, what you call it will depend entirely on the mood and atmosphere of your story: "Giga-Crush Rainbow Breaker" gives a different mood than "Sparkling Rainbow of Purifying Love."

So what's the context within your story? Does the "Rainbow of Noun" kill, disable, or heal? Is it unstoppable or unreliable? Are super-powered attacks rare in your world, or commonplace? Should it evoke hope and happiness, or is it a weapon of last resort that could cause great collateral damage?

>>114951
Esentually i only use it once in the story. Funny you mention Discord because it's essentially a brawl heavy final confrontation with him. The Mane Six use the beam but it doesn't work because Discord has polluted the world and is drawing power from it. He slaughters them save for Twilight who in anger and sadness turns into this pic and fights ensue.

>>114953

Hm. Okay. Well then.

Let's say... the Rainbow of Noun is actually a gestalt or zeitgeist of Twilight's social circle. Whenever friends work together they become more than the sum of their parts. The rainbow embodies the mysterious, inexplicable greatness that seemingly comes out of nowhere when people work together to achieve something great.

On the battlefield, it's actually a mind-control weapon that strips away the target's self-inflicted obsessions and delusions and forces them to truly comprehend the consequences of their actions: Discord is made to momentarily understand the love and friendship Twilight felt, and then experiences the loss and tragedy he's caused by slaying them. This demoralized state leaves him helpless against Twilight Sparkle's assault.

You could also have him experience a torrent of Twilight's happiest memories, giving you an excuse to have extremely vivid hallucinations of the slain friends "join in the battle."

Perhaps the memory of her friends allows her to use all six of the elements at the same time. Sort of a "passing the torch" thing.

>>114956
Why does it need a name? Naming it gives it a solidified existence and implies to define boundaries. Leaving it an unnamed force of nature gives it mystery and power.

>>114963
because writing giant rainbow lazer is stupid

>>114964
In one of the rare occasions I feel the need to intervene, why even mention it is a rainbow comes to mind.

At that instant, all six glowed and streams of light streaked towards Nightmare moon, combining into a blinding white flash.

A terrible sentence, I admit, but the fact is that if the person cannot know what is going on then they might want to actually take more than three second too observe the events of an episode.

>>114969
Yup. I gotta back this up. Are you writing a serious scene? Are there pathos involved? Do the lives of characters hang in the balance? If the answer is yes to two or more of these questions, the word 'rainbow' (outside of reference to best pony of course) shouldn't come anywhere near your narration. Specifically if it has anything at all to do with a device you're playing that tilts the deck.
And see, this is why my ponies curse. I just can't write out a serious scene, or hell, even a believable slice-of-life, and have them all going "gosh dang and heck it all". It's just absurd.
>looks at empty whiskey glass
>yep, rambling now, time to shut up

>>114969
>>114984
Except i don't call it 'rainbow anything'. I call it the Harmony Beam, because it's a concentrated blast of harmonios energy caused by the elements of harmony in a state of perfect unity.
>>114595
>>114621
On a side note if I could receive more input on this idea from anyone, I'd appreciate it.

>>114997
>Harmony Beam
I'm... I'm sorry mate, but that's not much better. In fact, it's... kinda hilarious.

>>115000
Imagining Twilight saying that in a light scene is the only way I don't taste bile.

>>114997
Given the serious nature of the scene you described, I really recommend not naming it at all.

>>??????
Since this thread was described as a leave-a-penny-take-a-penny, I'll drop this off: Howzabout a crossover with Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors?

Odds are I can guess anypony's rough age range and mental health level from their first reaction to the contents of that spoiler box.

>>114998
Well, I have to refer to it as something.

>>115026
No you don't.

>Why does it need a name? Naming it gives it a solidified existence and implies to define boundaries. Leaving it an unnamed force of nature gives it mystery and power.
Wow, DeJaVu! It's almost like I said this exact same thing myself in an earlier post.

>If you want the "rainbow finishing move" to remain truly epic/mythic, do not give it a name at all. People name things to give themselves a sense of control/familiarity over them.
Oh wait.

if he's going to pick a name no matter what, we may as well help him think of a Less Worse name. I can think of one example of a well named mysterious object: The Lament Configuration from the Hellraiser series. It sounds cool, but it doesn't even remotely explain what it is or where it came from. It actually increases the mystique.

>>115026
You refer to characters as something. That is because they have (hopefully) been made familiar enough to use abstract titles and pronouns to refer to them.

Physical phenomena aren't the same, and your prose can't suffer from rainbow elements of harmony syndrome the same way it can suffer from lavender unicorn syndrome.

Different treatment for different element of the story. In the case of inanimate objects or phenomena, they're not something to be given a name. If some such thing does have a name, it's because it's getting whipped out frequently enough to warrant a name, because characters who refer to it (and the narrator) can't describe it's appearance every single damn time. The beam produced by the elements of harmony get used at most once per season. Why give it a name? I believe Seattle deems it hilarious because you then give the EoH's beam a treatment in the speech of the narration and characters that is akin to the treatment of a component of a zord or gundam. Like, "fire the [name of weapon here]" and all that jazz.

>>115047
Your right, I don't. I was just being stubborn and I apologize.

(Not sarcasm. I really do mean it.)

>The Lament Configuration from the Hellraiser series.
Though come to think of it, I don't think it was ever referred to by name in the first movie. So signs still point to "no name is better".

Hmm... You could give it a name that only has significance to the mane six: perhaps one of them casually refers to it as "the last resort" or something even more vague, and it just sticks. Or perhaps it's the bad guys who come up with a name for it: they're the ones who need to figure out a countermeasure, after all. Remember in Bat Man Begins, how Scarecrow refers to Batman as "the bat man"? I could clearly hear the space between each word.

This story idea popped into my head while I was reading some other fics, but I know I will never be able to get around to writing it. So, here it is.
*ahem*
After a night of excitement and way too many alcoholic beverages, Leonard Hofstadter wakes up to find himself not in his apartment with his insufferable roommate, but, rather, in Ponyville, in the the body of one Twilight Sparkle.
Simultaneously, after a night of equal excitement and alcoholic intake, Twilight Sparkle wakes up to find herself not in her comfy library with her number one assistant, but, rather, in the body of one theoretical physicist, Leonard Hofstadter.
Both characters immediately recognize their surroundings, as each is an avid fan of the other's show. Now Leonard and Twilight must mind a way to get back home without loosing their sanity or screwing up the other character's life beyond repair. Oh, and they have to convince their host bodies' friends that they shouldn't immediately be shipped off to the nearest mental facility for being convinced they are a television show character.
If you're interested in this, please shoot me an email so I can read it whenever you finish. Also, I may not be able to write this, but I'd be happy to proof read.
So...
Yeah.

Here's my "ideas in stasis" board. Warning, some of this is straight-up crazy.


Skywishes: A blind bag pegasus whose cutie mark is a kite. Her cutie mark is a toy that helps little ones feel closer to the sky...

Dash carries Twilight in a harness. Together, they clear the skies of bandits in the Battle of Appleloosa, establishing Equestrian air superiority for years to come.

Deep exploration of unicorn culture like I'm currently doing for pegasus culture

Fic told entirely in future tense. Future perfect would just be cumbersome.

Metamorphic fic told via updating existing chapters to change its meaning or tell the same story various ways

Friendship: The Gathering (phyresis'd Discord as villain)

Applejack human Futa/M bondage. "Y'sure 'bout this, sugar? I heard of humans gettin' themselves killed doin' this. I don' mean gettin' bucked in the head neither. I'm talkin' internal bleedin'."

Scootaloo has a crisis; coming to terms with an identity as a pegasus yet being unable to fly. Perhaps only realizes her handicap at puberty or gets a cutie mark and realizes that the only reason she wouldn't be able to fly would be a handicap. Based on fanon of her, having her not realize that she's handicapped until she gets to an age where she REALLY should be able to fly would just crush her. Having her get over that and find herself a secure identity would make for a beautiful story.

Missed one.

Five thousand years after the conclusion of the Conversion Bureau project, they still remember, albeit in a different form. There is a grain of truth to the myth that they tell their little ones about how their people began. In the beginning, they were called "in-betweeners" for the fact that they were failed experiments with amorphous forms who chose to emulate ponies out of a desire to be like ponies. Today, they are called changelings, and never for a single day in five thousand years did they forget their jealousy and hatred.

>>115638
<i>phyresis'd</i>
I hate to nitpick, but the proper term is Compleated /MTG nerd

I suppose this is like a brainstorming thread.

Anyway, I need to find a way of how Rainbow Dash goes blind from an accident. But I want to make the cause a supernatural and unexpected one. I was inspired by the askblinddash tumblr to finally write a fanfic. I need help on this.

>>115974
It's not really that difficult, depending on which content rating you want. I could easily go all Happy Tree Friends on it, but that would violate Ponychan's gore content guidelines. Anyway, supernatural and unexpected way to make RD go blind... The context would be important. Is this going to be a random or comedy fic? That would open a world of possibilites.

>>115974
New strain of Poison Joke?

>>115980

It's kind of like a fic where she develops a supernatural power after going blind and becoming powerful, and she sees things ponies with normal sight can't see.

>>115983
Good, old lighting bolts is my suggestion. Maybe a lightning bolt from a freak storm in the everfree.

Working on a Pony x Digimon fanfic dealing with the Royal Knights and the ponies working together

I just need a name for one of the villains... he is an earth pony that is made up of lost data that was sent by the master for his Resurrection from the legendary digital war... I just need a name that sounds good for a computer based pony.

I was originally going to go with Viral, but decided to use it for the other villain since it does have a feminine sound to it.

any suggestions?

>>115983
Kinda reminds me of DareDevil
>>115984
I like that idea. here ya go, from Anon to Anon.

Hey guys,

Sorry to swing by and drop this out of nowhere, but I have an emotionally harrowing problem involving my writing.

It's not so much an issue of what to write about as it is the motivation to find the experience worth it.

Four months ago I finished a story that I've worked very hard on since January. It's the minimum length for a novel (at least 75,000 words) and I basically poured my heart and soul into it -- it meant a lot to me, especially since I'd never written a book let alone completed a story before, and I don't even try to write something unless it means a lot to me like that.

It got some really nice reviews, never anything really bad, but is almost completely unnoticed, and I almost never hear anything about it anywhere. I figured I'd wait a little and see if I'd get anything else; no dice. It wasn't necessarily popularity I was after, but I was just dumbfounded that something I worked so hard on got so little recognition in comparison. It worsened my already awful self-esteem and I have not wrote anything since.

Now I'm finding the urge to try to write again, but I'm hesitant and reluctant, afraid of being disappointed again. I know exactly what I want to write about, with a beginning, middle and end, a clear idea of which characters and themes I want to focus on, with just some plot elements left; but I'm not convinced that it would be worth the effort.

What can I do to change my outlook about this? How can I gain the necessary amount of confidence required to go through with it?

>>116335
I think if you enjoy writing it, it doesn't really matter how well received it is. (That said, don't use your enjoyment as an excuse against self-improvement.)

It's not uncommon for reception to be completely unlike what the author expected. TVTropes likes to call it "Magnum Opus Dissonance". Some of their examples:
>Ender's Game was originally just another short story that Orson Scott Card wrote to pay the bills.
>Arthur Conan Doyle created [Sherlock Holmes] . . . in order to pay the bills
>Anthony Burgess resents that he's best known for A Clockwork Orange, which he thought shallow compared to his other works.

On that last one, here's a bit from Anthony Burgess: "We all suffer from the popular desire to make the known notorious. The book I am best known for, or only known for, is a novel I am prepared to repudiate: written a quarter of a century ago, a jeu d'esprit knocked off for money in three weeks, it became known as the raw material for a film which seemed to glorify sex and violence. The film made it easy for readers of the book to misunderstand what it was about, and the misunderstanding will pursue me until I die. I should not have written the book because of this danger of misinterpretation."

Essentially, even the best of us can't know how something will be received, and what that means is you shouldn't be let down by one bad story. If you wrote, say, fifty novels, all of which you thought were great, and all of which were poorly received, then maybe it would be good time to ask yourself "Am I really any good at this?" But one failure is not worth worrying about. One failure is not even near the required amount.

Write more, think less. I find it's often too easy for writer-types to overthink themselves into a mess.

I should take my own advice.

>>116335
Why did you write your novel, precisely?

You say you didn't do it for popularity--which is good--but it's important to know why you did. Was there an idea in your head that would not let you rest? Did you have a message to convey, or a concept to explore? Or was it all just a lark?

Try to recall your reason, and keep it in mind when your disappointment waxes.

Similarly, ask yourself why you're inclined to write this new work. If your motive is good enough--and only you can judge that--you'll make it through.

I would like to write a basic short story before I start writing real fanfics, if I even do, to see if I can even write a good fanfic and keep a good pace. I have 2 ideas, but I can't pick which one I like better and and I only want to write one, then have people say what they like and don't like about it once I write it, so here are my ideas:

A New Way:
Based off the story with Scootaloo told in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UztWnWOdAyc
Basically the script would be that Scootaloo gets to hang out with Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash easily tells that Scootaloo can't fly, but she does notice that Scootaloo can ride her scooter quite well. She of course thinks that Scootaloo's cutie mark might be at least related to this and she tries to help Scootaloo with this while Scootaloo slowly learns that she can not be like Rainbow Dash, but that still doesn't mean she can not be an amazing pony.

Crashing:
Based off the story told in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUQdRrwWLu0
Applejack ends up in a train crash on a trip to Appaloosa, causing her to have brain damage. She and her family must deal with this new change of way whilst they happen to learn more about Applejack at the same time, and Twilight tries to find a cure. If this idea is picked I can't decide whether making the ending that she stays the way she is, or that she ends up getting better somehow. Maybe I could even have it so that the reader makes the decision for Twilight leading to 3 or 2 different endings.

Which one do you guys think is better? Please give me some advice for the one I do choose, maybe an idea if you think that I need it. I think I can write properly, don't think that they way I am writing this is going to be the way that I write the story either, because I won't do such things as use as many pauses as I do, well, as long as characters are not talking or thinking.

>>116335
if something is moving you to write, be grateful for that spark, and seize the opportunity to work. don't be too precious about it -- you'll write other things as you pursue your voice. generally, artists make a lot of stuff (there's a Bach box set with 170+ CD's of original music, for instance); the more you do it, the easier it gets to do what you do, at least on a technical level. when you write your first novel, there is drama in the completion of the task itself; but around the third or fourth, you can just do it, and outside approval becomes less of an important driving factor (though of course it's nice to have readership).

another thing to remember is that no work of quality is ever wasted. when you meet a challenge or follow through on a commitment over time, you grow from it, and the result spreads into all areas of your life, not to mention your specific field of endeavor. I bet once you begin writing your new story, you'll notice you're capable of things you wouldn't have been able to do in January (and you may totally forget about that first novel!)

Does anyone know if there have been any fics depicting Fleur De Lis as a con artist? I know I heard a few people joke about it in threads on /show/ and what not, but I don't know if there have been any fics regarding the subject. I had an idea for a story like that, but I don't want to pursue it if the exact idea has already been done before...

>>116345
>Which one do you guys think is better?
Personally, number 1 seems a lot better, just because number 2 sounds, off the bat, like "bren dmg wah this is sad you should feel sad". Maybe it's just me being jaded speaking, but I've never felt much for tragedies befalling ponies. Then again, it all boils down to the execution, and you can't improve on that without starting to write.

So, yeah. I'd go with number 1. Originally, I wanted to ask you to flip a coin and choose based on that, since as a first fic the best you can come out with isn't a good fic but a learning experience, but brain damage as a plot device is just, well, rather overdone.