>>119370
So mermaids and/or sirens, but with sea ponies.
My suggestion would be for its style and tone to ape that of ye olde fairy tales. A story about a young colt that's lured away from his dam by their singing and is tricked into going into the water, where he's eaten. Throw in some contrived Aesop and you're golden.

>>119371
>My suggestion would be for its style and tone to ape that of ye olde fairy tales. A story about a young colt that's lured away from his dam by their singing and is tricked into going into the water, where he's eaten. Throw in some contrived Aesop and you're golden.
Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but that could work. Hmm, perhaps I should start planning this out. I think I'd go kinda Brother's Grimm with it and make it really dark and whatnot. Well, time to grab a pencil and some paper my laptop and start writing.

>>119370

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14662/12/Longest-Night%2C-Longest-Day/12.-Siren-Song-and-the-Counter-Chord-%5BEnd-of-Part-3%5D

Siren seaponies exactly as you decrided them. Only for one chapter, but there it is.

I have a concept that I'm working on, and I need some suggestions here. My concept includes a military airship, and I was wondering if anyone here could think of a "pony pun" on the name "Akron," as in an early flying aircraft carrier (pictured).

>>119514


As far as puns are concerned, I'm afraid there's not a whole lot to go on with that name. However, since USS Akron was named after the actual city where it was built, you might consider doing the same with your airship, but using a pony city. This would be a good opportunity for world-building, as well.

>>119441
Son of a *****!
Eh, I think the way I'm going is different enough that it won't really be an issue. Plus it's only one fic. I skimmed the chapter and the seaponies are like I described only it's played for comedy and not really very serious; which is fine, just not what I'm going to do. We'll see how well that works out though once I get my rough draft done. Really though I doubt anyone besides me and whatever poor sap I rope into reviewing it for me will read it, but whatever. That's neither here nor there.

Let's go seaponies!

>>119519
I'll probably go with "Manehattan," then.

>>119514
Akorn/Acorn, my good man. Perhaps something about how it "Falls/Flies far from the tree"?

>>119527
Hmm, that might work as well.

howdy
here is something that I've been sitting on in the back of my head for a long time.

Six has no name, Six is just his number. Recent events have put him and his entire group of born and raised refugees from an age old conflict in the lawless area of Far West. With pursuers nipping at their hooves, supernatural forces leading them astray, and their own friends questioning each other, the group keeps looking back on the day of their escape, and the sins they committed to just stay alive in their place of birth...

that is more a broad summary than a synopsis of my idea.

any kind of feedback?

>>119618
Sounds generic, and I do not see its relevance to MLP. You should develop the idea a little more.

>>119618
Like Anon said, doesn't really sound like an idea exclusively pony (nor does it need to be). The lack of further details gives me a faint impression of "Something that should probably be mentally cataloged with Lost/et cetera anti-hero team stories"; not a bad thing in itself unless you want it to stand out from et cetera and such, which you probably do. In which case, well, you'll need more details.

What sort of feedback are you looking for exactly? If it's just a "Is this idea workable?" thing, then yeah, every idea is workable, just depends on the execution.

>>119621
this is my first time posting on /fic/.

do you want more info? like spoilers? I was just posting to see what kind of feedback I'd get.

>>119621
I never even finished the first season of lost but I understand what you are entailing. I was thinking a chapter would be along the lines of:

Intense flashback featuring a spotlight character with grabbing climax
Main story of the chapter
Resolution of the flashback

I've never tried that in a story.

>>119628
>Intense flashback featuring a spotlight character with grabbing climax
Main story of the chapter
Resolution of the flashback
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQDUtjwoaTY

Honestly, I'm just making a joke. I think, if done right, this could make an interesting tale. You'll just have to be careful about how you do it, and cautiously avoid making it exactly like Lost. I suppose that by having only two flashbacks per chapter you might be able to distance yourself enough from it so as to not be seen as apeing it. Really though, there's nothing wrong with imitating the style as long as you don't imitate the story as well. I did something similar with Stoker's Dracula, so it's possible. I'll be interested to see what you come up with.

>>119629
well that's the thing I hated about lost was there were 5+ flashbacks in one episode and not all of them were of the same person. But the big thing is that I would have at least one other person in the group would be in the flashback as well so it's not like in lost where one guy is a serial killer or something (shows how much i know about lost) and doesn't tell anyone. So it's reflecting on what happened. Only like crucial facts (like if the their handler/quartermaster died in the events) would be secret from the group and only one pony would really know what happened in that regard. In other words they would all have a loose take on what happened but somepony might have seen something more. this is where the trust issue starts setting in. Please don't tell me that's like Lost, only this morning did I realize my idea was even similar to that show.

>>119626
>>119630
Hey there, Throttle, Sorry I bailed on you last night in /P/AD. Welcome to /fic/. This here's the Story Forge thread, so you're in the right place, but what we do ITT is develop story ideas, so that's why everypony's asking for more development. We here believe you should have a story's framework--not just the premise--pretty much mapped out before you start writing. You've got a good start there, all everypony's trying to do is help you flesh it out so that it can be more complete. You'll thank them later, I think. Also, everyone in here is mostly critical, so don't let them fool you. They're not being mean, just helpful.

>>119632
>They're not being mean, just helpful.
Speak for yourself, poopyface.

>>119628
You know, that structure's actually not too bad as long as you don't end up confusing the reader. In fact if every chapter had a flashback as opener, and then the rest of the chapter meandered along, and developed, and then the first flashback suddenly made sense in Chapter 3, for instance, and then the reader realizes "Bloody hell the openers for the chapters were actually flashbacks"... that would be quite the hook if they weren't lost by then.

It's a deliciously difficult risk to pull off, but that doesn't stop it from being intriguing, from a purely hypothetical point of view.

>>119637
Allow me to rephrase: Everyone except, the self-proclaimed devil of /fic/, the infamous Ion-Sturm, is not being mean. *That* guy is on a mission to scare away any newcomers so that we can be a round-table discussion in here.

>>119639
That's "infamous Ion-Sturm Sir" to you, private!

>>119639
>>119640
When /fic/'s welcome wagon is in ashes, then you have my permission to die.

>>119626
Might as well mention that personally, I reckon that the concept of spoilers doesn't really work in /fic/, since we dissect every element of your work in order to get a clear picture. Withholding things only hinders us from doing so, unless getting an estimation of reader surprise with continuing works is what you want as well (as I did with my previous works). But yeah. The more we have to see, the more we can discuss and poke to see how much water it'll hold.

Also, this thread's been on autosage for 10 posts. o_o huh.

>>119642
New thread time, I guess.

Real quick, if I may ask for an opinion:

I'm writing a little action-themed shortfic with just a quick gag about Rainbow Dash suppressing arousal over getting a little too up close and personal with Twilight.

More amusing in first person or third?

>>119662

One more thing. What do I call the inside of a horse's "thighs?" They're not thighs. Do I just say between her legs?

>>119662
Screw autosage, I'm gonna keep posting... at least just to answer this.

Third... probably. I think first might get kinda weird. But, that's just my opinion.

>>119663

I believe they're called haunches. Don't quote me though. Unless I'm right

>>106451

Another thing.

I don't like how when there's some foreign power that's a threat to the ponies, it's always griffins. I could just go with griffins because that's what's popular and that's what people expect, but I hate how it's ALWAYS that way. Is there something else I can draw upon? Another nation of ponies would feel weird to readers and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and changelings bother me almost as much.

>>119672

that's why I was thinking of making minotaurs the group that captured Six and the other ponies.

>>119676

I needed a race with an air force though, so I thought of goats.

Yes, goats.

They have some technology. They had headsets and radios iirc. So they might have steampunk airships or single-occupancy helicopters like Pinkie's.

This fic is going to be pretty glorious.

so when is the new thread gonna happen?

>>119697
Probably when this one goes out of the first page... which should be some time before friday.

I was casually musing what it means to belong, and I decided that perhaps the notion differs from person to person, you see. A waster or roamer feels far more at home while on the road then he does tied down to a family/establishment etc. Thus, my very basic plan for:

The Rambling GentlePony's Collective

Six main characters:
-The Three Ramblers
-Three Anchors

The ramblers are a group of three stallions, who live on a shoestring budget, that travel around the known pony globe. They do so without the aid of the others. They therefore have no family's or friends, and while they lead exiting lives, lack personage and identity. These three characters should be from the shows established canon. I was thinking three of the (at present) colts. Say, snips, featherweight and patch. At least three well known and thus easily identifiable characters. Reason being, I'd rather them not have names, for reasons of the theme of distance from normality and steady lives.

The anchors are the opposite, three characters who keep what would be a 'stable' life, i.e., steady job, loving families etc, but very thankless and menial all the same. Basically the opposite of the three ramblers. I'm thinking of having them as natives from the three regions the three ramblers visit in turn. Say, a griffon, a dog and a pony from a far flung pony settlement.

The purpose of the anchors is to act as the intertwining 'glue' of the ramblers. Each rambler meets each anchor, but the ramblers never do.

The ramblers finish their journey, slightly altered from when they began months before, at a similar establishment to where they left. Say, drinking den/cafe etc.

Thus, the ramblers have learned the value of family and stability from their anchors, while the anchors have learned that letting go and getting lost once in a while is for the better.

Thoughts? Idea's on who would suit the Ramblers best?

Best Regards

>>119665
haunches are the hips, buttocks and upper thigh, actually. Basically the entire rear end.

>>119672
I'm writing a story with a kitsune in it. Devilish little tricksters. They're all different, and range from harmless pranks to malicious acts of deceit. you could try those, but they're exceptionally rare.

next question.

So the back story is that about 200 years ago a group of settler ponies like the ponies out of Appaloosa are caught between a skirmish with Minotaurs and Griffons. The minotaurs fight off the griffons but they discover the ponies on their recently claimed land. So of course the minotaurs capture the group. Equestria tries to find them but are unsuccessful so they record them as missing.

So two hundred years go by. The ponies still can't leave Minos and they are being put to work by the minotaurs. What kind of work should the ponies do?

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Do you think its plausible to have a story from the point if view if fluttershy's father being a professional hitman?

At night hes a well calibrated killer with only his target and method of escape in mind.

At day he tries to keep a normal life loving his only daughter and seeing her as a reminder to question his choices as a hitman and his ability to change that part of himself.

It sound a but out there but the idea the exploration of why Fluttershy is shyness pr why she instinctively cares less misfortune creatures. I think it might be interesting she gets this trait from the care of her father affection and care because of the nature of his career.

Just a thought and a idea

I need buildable ideas, so if anyone is out there, please at least try to help me with this story

story: after tinkering with the forces of nature I somehow get sucked into Equestria by my own invention, The DouR (Dimensional or other universe Radical), teleportaton system. I somehow fall into the Balcony of Canterlot without dying and am greeted by Celestia. She invites me in, leaves me in a spare bedroom, and leaves to get...something. When she returns her pupils are dilated and she has what appears to be a....oh God. I run to the balcony and jump off. I get saved by (someone) and so my story begins.
note: character can have any name, it just needs to be slightly psychotic, a mad genius, and athletic enough

>>121327
First of all, we totally have a Story Forge v8 now, and it's nowhere near autosaging. It can be found here: >>119870. But hey, since I'm here, I'm gonna give you a hoof with your idea, Anon.

Allow me to be perfectly honest. The fact that you explicitly refer to your protagonist in the first person does not fill me with confidence. Self-inserts are generally frowned upon, in my experience. But I'll look past that. About the idea itself. Your requirements for this character of yours are: capable of building a dimensional portal, being athletic enough to evade Princess Celestia, and "psychotic." This combination of traits is a little odd, but at least your character has a definite flaw. I think the direction to take the character is obvious: make him a mad scientist.

Here's my interpretation. The character (let's call him "Professor Pandemonium) has already conquered the world and laid its heroes to waste. He's got an army of robots working to maintain the world's governments and enforce his rule. He's completely victorious, and he's bored out of his mind. So Pandemonium invents the DouR to find a new world to conquer or, at the very least, find someone new to talk to. Upon his arrival in Equestria, he is offered a kind hoof and a place to recover from the injuries he sustained from the fall by Celestia. However, Celestia is quickly possessed by some kind of demonic force from his world who's similarly bored and hoping to frame her. Pandemonium escapes and does battle with the possessed Celestia, aided by the Great and Powerful Trixie. The battle ends in a draw, and subsequently, Pandemonium and the demon go their separate ways. Pandemonium, vowing revenge on Celestia, begins to assemble a Legion of Doom, Equestrian Division to overthrow Celestia. And bam, there's your story.

Actually, this is starting to sound interesting. If you'd like a creative consultant, feel free to contact me at conchshellthegeek7@gmail.com.

>>121070

>>121332
it wasn't supposed to be a self insert
i just used the I, me crap to get my story out because I'm the only psychotic person I know
besides, what else was I suppose to do? Another Anon in Equestria?
That's why I give you this idea
YOU use it, not me.
this was just a random thought I had in the midst of the other 29,999 random thoughts.

>>106451

Alright, here's my story idea.

In plain simplicity, it's my take on the creation of Equis and the fall of the civilization that came before the cannon one. Feedback and questions are appreciated, but steal what I've got and there WILL be issues.

>>121453
I think this idea is going to lose a lot of its punch in November, when we learn about the Crystal Empire.

Also, for God's sake, people, there's another StoryForge now.

>>121070
Also, Taken 2

>>121463

Meh, not exactly. At least not where the plot that I've got for is concerned. Also, my bad. Found that out a few minutes after I posted the original.

>>121463

Also, the Crystal Empire doesn't exactly reveal the origins of Equis itself. There are plenty of non-canon ideals in the fandom that have been proven false on many occasion. Like Twilight being directly related to Celestia. Personally, I don't see the resemblance other than pure magical ability. If anything, she'd be more related to Luna.

So here's something I've thought of ever since I've read "A Night in the Haunted Mansion."

The gist of it is, after the royal wedding, the Mane Six take a hike on a strange mountain after the train back to Ponyville breaks down mid-trip. But instead of it being them just going through the ride like in the "Haunted Mansion" fic I read, they actually interact with all the characters from the ride's story.

I also plan on writing a second chapter where the talking critters from Splash Mountain, along with Uncle Remus, visit Ponyville.

For those of you who don't know who Uncle Remus is here's a quick Disney history lesson; Splash Mountain is based on a 1946 film titled "Song of the South" which is set in the aftermath of the Civil War. In this film, a former slave lovingly known as Uncle Remus meets a little white boy named Johnny, who is distraught after his father leaves him with his mother on his grandmother's plantation. Uncle Remus sees that Johnny is troubled so he tells him tales about Brer Rabbit that also teach him life lessons. These tales is where the characters of Splash Mountain and its story come from.

Now I love the movie even though you can't legally get it here in the U.S. due to racial controversy surrounding it, and I love Uncle Remus as a character, so I thought I'd include him in my story too.

Tell me what you think.

would someone plz write something like my little dashie but with fluttershy!

Guys. Guys. I just thought of something. Why don't we make a FiM-The Room crossover? Best idea, or bestest idea
?

Guys. Guys. I just thought of something. Why don't we make a FiM-The Room crossover? Best idea, or bestest idea
?