This is a thread for new writers, or writers new to /fic/, but more seasoned authors are welcome here as well. We’ll look at your carefully crafted fanwork, and come back to you with any helpful tips or corrections we can find.
Neither of us is very picky about just what we’ll look at, but here are some rules and guidelines to get you started.
1) READ THE STICKY! The sticky is your friend, it contains helpful tips and resources that will make everypony’s life easier.
2) NO GORE OR PORN! Hey, we didn’t write the rules. If your story falls outside the acceptable content guidelines for ponychan, send it to one of us via email. Hugbox is more likely to enjoy that stuff, send it to him if he’s not overloaded with fics. Hugbox: MrMusicalPony@Gmail.com Minjask: Hankishes@Gmail.com
3) Be patient , and polite. We volunteer our free time to look over your work thoroughly. If you’re not willing to wait for a quality review, you’re in the wrong place.
4) Never stop writing We’re here to help you, not put you down. Don’t feel discouraged by our review. Even if you decide to scrap your story idea, keep practicing. We hope to see you improve.
That said, here’s how we both operate.
I specialize in plot holes and IC checks, but I will point out grammar and punctuation mistakes if I spot them. If I like something in your story I’ll tell you, but I won’t hesitate to inform you of my distaste for something either. Don’t worry, I’m usually very friendly. Just remember that Scootaloo is best pony and we should get along fine. You can usually expect a reply from me within 24 hours, be it your review or to tell you when I’ll get to it, and I tend to be on here later at night, so you might get a quicker response if your post lands between the hours of 10pm and 2am EST. If you meet me on GDocs, feel free to chat with me about your story, I’ve always been a fan of interactive reviews.
If I’m somehow not killing heavies with my flame thrower in Team Fortress 2, you can expect a pretty good review from me. I specialize in nothing particular, but I do have a better handle on the actual writing than the story, but that’s not to say I can’t pinpoint when you’re just going from plot point to plot point or if Twilight Sparkle is OoC. Don’t make her OoC, she is best pony. I will only accept Google Docs, and please have those comments enabled! I accept anything, and I will be more than happy to point out exactly what is wrong with your multi-colored neon Alicorn OC that is the mother of Celestia, Luna, and somehow Twilight Sparkle. In other words, I will show you the tropes of this fandom, and how to avoid them.
Formatting your post
*If you would like either of us to specifically review your story, make a request in your submission, otherwise it will go to whichever one of us jumps on it first.
*We heavily prefer Google Docs with commenting enabled, as it makes the whole review much easier. Minjask doesn’t mind Fimfiction or Fanfiction, but unless you’re specifically requesting him, it would be in your best interest to copy/paste your story onto GDocs before submitting.
*Include the title of your story, the proper tags , a summary [u/] , a [u] word count , and a link to your story of course. Don’t forget to have sharing and comments enabled.
*If your story is longer than 15 thousand words you must indicate which sections of it you want us to look at, or it will not be reviewed. At least not by Minjask Hugbox: cause he’s a pansy
*Finally, if there is something specific about your story you would like us to look at, mention it in your post, otherwise you’ll just get a normal review.
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Characters If you're unsure about a character's personality and you're afraid of writing a character OoC, check out their wiki page.We will usually refer you here if I see your character OoC
http://www.onlyfiction.net/ms-test.html This is a Mary Sue test, and we will redirect you here if your character fits the picture. If you're afraid of having a Mary Sue character, take the test.
EZN’s Guide. http://derpy.me/EznGuide We highly suggest you read it. It contains a lot of useful information about fanfiction writing, and will definitely help you improve as a writer.
http://tinyurl.com/HugboxGuideToTropes. This is Hugbox’s list of common things seen in the fandom that either don’t work anymore due to the repetition, or that have never worked.
http://derpy.me/hljkq This is Minjask’s OC writing guide. It will help explain why your OC should not be an alicorn, and which pony type it should be
The Queue will be run on a first come first serve basis, unless one of us takes a particular interest in your story. You can check out the status of the Queue here: http://tinyurl.com/MinjaskAndHugbox
If you’ve read this far into the OP, good for you, because we’re about to give you a helpful hint that will make things easier.
*Sad or adventure fics are Minjask’s favorite, and will most likely jump a few priority bars if the stories in his queue haven’t been sitting for too long.
*Adventure and darker toned (Not neccesarily ‘Dark’ per say though) Fics are Hugbox’s favorite, and will most likely pick that up first if others haven’t been waiting too long.
And one last thing: Scootaloo is best pony. Hugbox:Unless you’re Twilight Sparkle Now send those suckers in!
Welcome to our review thread. Professor Hugbox and Minjask, at your service, we are happy to assist you in any way we can, as long as it involves reviewing your story.
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Okay calm down you two.
Courage, if it's a crossover, the reviewer is then required to be very familiar with both shows entailed. I would love to take this on, because Courage was one of the best shows on Cartoon Network back in the day, and I love the premise, but I just can't remember enough of that show to be confident reviewing this. If I find the time I might give it a look over, but I can't in good conscience add it to the queue.
To my colleague, cliche though the name may be, the unique premise justifies it, and if the material within is of great enough caliber, I see no reason why it should be redone. The point of a title is to give a name to the story, so that it can be called upon. If the author chooses not to be poetic, that's their decision.
Color me condescending but I like what I just said.
>the unique premise justifies it
Premise: Courage the Cowardly Dog and My Little Pony together.
The author has a chance to make this interesting, no doubt, I am not judging the actual skills of the author's writing. What I'm saying is that you're right, it IS something to call on, but when you say 'I just read a story called 'My Little Courage' people are going to think of the story unoriginal already. Coincidentally, I saw this story when it was posted on FimFiction of the front page, and looking at the title I decided to pass it by because of the generic feel of it.
the reviewer is then required to be very familiar with both shows entailed
On the contrary, if you're posing the idea of a crossover to the MY LITTLE PONY fandom, then you should introduce your other story in a way that any reader can follow along, even if others actually know the content and are able to further relate to the context.
>lack of originality and all
Implying this is a good thing, no matter how 'ironic' you're trying to come off.
I know the content of the crossover very well, as I still watch it on occasion. Return the slab, yade yada.
Thanks for the help, Hugbox! I'm glad it works as a comedy. That's quite the relief. Allow me to do a few rebuttals while I've got the chance.
The narrator's identity was supposed to be the big twist at the end of the story. But if you don't think it works, I can just reveal it right away. I don't think the story'd change that much in the long run. You can still guess who the narrator is if you want, though. Here's a hint: http://youtu.be/EeXCCk1Mahc (And yes, his intimate knowledge of the TF2-verse will be explained later.)
Game physics were kind of a plot point. It didn't come up in Chapter One, but the mercenaries are capable of using their "inventories" to carry items that aren't their weapons. That's how the Medic is able to keep everyone medicated, and that becomes VERY important later. I'm not sure I can write around that. (But yeah, the hats were too much.)
Body language is something I hadn't put all that much thought into. It just didn't occur to me, honestly. I'll give it a shot.
Hey ponies, organic waste has just collided with a rotational air circulator, so I’ll probably be gone for a while after this, but I’ll pop in when I can.
Here’s your review Zamoonda, sort of.
Ah, finally, that rough, arrogant Griffin Pride rears its shiny head. I’ve been waiting for somepony to write about griffins.
And then Discord comes into play, this sounds fun.
That ending… dude. That's a real cliffhanger. See what I did there?
I have no more criticisms for this, other than a few syntax problems, but I can’t fix those.
I left a couple comments on the Doc.
Well I'll give you the second chapter of Scribes are Weird. The first chapter is under construction. (Seattle went at it with a battle axe...)
But it can't hurt to have it checked out... Come to think of it, that's the same thing I said when I submitted the first chapter to Seattle...
Title: Scribes Are Weird.
Tags: Slice of Life, Adventure.
Word count: 6984
Synopsis: Ghostwriter is Celestia's personal scribe, though he has doubts about his own skills. Ponies may respect his position, but not him personally and he's sick of it. When Celestia sends him to Ponyville to transcribe the events involving the Elements of Harmony, Ghost sees it as a chance for a fresh start. But when Ghost arrives, he has no idea what exploits the Elements of Harmony are always up to.
Link to Chapter 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UpZW6xgNXngypna5JiPGgp1dHBzZPHKmUogPrGCPu_0/edit
As I said before, this chapter has 32.55555555552% more Pinkie Pie. Enjoy!
: Review pls
As of yet, I have no real summary, but I shall make one up right now just for you.
Summary: Equestria has long since hidden in his shadow. With the princesses gone, a new immortal stepped in, and with him, the desire to extinguish ponykind. The prophecy spoke of a hero, one who will rise from the Equestria's ashes and end the turmoil.
Words: 3500 (approx)
, again with legitness.jpg
Ok, well first, you've got comma issues and lots of them. You'll most likely need to find a dedicated editor who can point all that stuff out. The premise is... well to be honest I don't think it's a good one. I've already told you my qualms but in case it wasn't clear you'll either end up borrowing too much or not enough from the source material. Right now you tend to fall in the former category. At least change the characters names. The entire chapters expository dialogue which tends to make me feel like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ2j8yxu-rc . Try adding descriptors in relevant dialogue to the plot rather than setting aside full paragraphs on telling us the characters. If you don't your flow with still be pretty flat. I may seem negative but this comes from someone who made the same mistakes when he first started (proof: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/8822/1/Ponyshock/Welcome-to-Eufillyia) so understand I'm just trying to help you avoid those same pitfalls. Until next time.
P.S. I, Hugbox, hereby proclaim Rarity is best pony. I've come to learn that Twilight is, in fact, inferior. Thank you for your patience.
>MY FIC IS BAD AND I SHOULD FEEL BAD
All fics have potential, just remember that and keep on trying. I haven't read your story, but I know that it can be improved to a level where reviewers won't have much to critique on it. The problem being is that we're not perfect writers, but as our writing abilities improve, so do the quality of your stories. You were probably joking, Mr. Zoidberg, but I still thought it a lesson that should be learned.
Well, we're on our way out, and I've decided to jump ship a bit early. I was going to finish it off with that TF2 crossover's 2nd chapter, but the first one exhibits most of the problems anyways.
I've decided to leave /Fic/ either forever or for an undetermined amount of time. This is NOT due to the recent moving and mod epidemic that happened recently.
I like to review, but I feel as though it warps my idea of what the show SHOULD be about. When you review fics you have problems with, it's hard after a long continuous of them to put those issues aside and just ENJOY it. I feel that I can't enjoy an episode anymore. Just recently I watched Hurricane Fluttershy and I couldn't help notice how ONE-DIMENSIONAL she is. I think I need some time to be able to just enjoy something pony related, and learn how to just enjoy it. Plus I'm trying to get a job, and school is starting back up in the few weeks, I'll have my hands full. Plus I need to put in time for TF2. That's like my morning coffee, because you may not know, I don't drink coffee.
It's been a pleasure, Minjask, and Khakis stop spamming me on Steam.
I guess the 'subject' is a bit misleading. I'm not going to review anymore for that undetermined amount of time, but I'll still show up in the IRC every once in a while. Maybe. You can always contact me at my email (The one I put in the OP I don't use much anymore, use the one in my name on this post) So yeah, I'll see you ponies later.
P.S Windows 8 is awesome, by the way.
Well I can't say I blame you, things have indeed gotten pretty crazy lately, I finally finish an 80 hour work week on top of trying to find time for friends who haven't seen me in months, and I've still got three stories to do, which I'm about to get to by the way. It's been a pleasure working with you Professor. I look forward to seeing what you make of this whole poni deal.
My morning coffee is Vitamin Water Power-C Dragonfruit. that stuff is like, my Elixir man. I think I'll save that email, might hit you up on Skype too if you have it.
Windows 8 is out now? I'll have to get that.
And with that I think I should get to those stories now, ciao ponies.
You know, it’s funny; this reviewing thing has become a replacement of sorts for me for the void of in between seasons. That and Bronycon. It’s so much fun helping everypony improve, and after the crazy week I just had, I really needed this.
I couldn’t find anything strange with the story, especially since you answered the one question I still had, and the characterization in here is very good. I can see that you’ve found another reviewer for this, which is heartening. I left a few comments on the Doc, and that’s all I have to say about that.
, 182358 - artist peachiekeenie artist Tara_Jenkins childhood Discord discorderlyconduct grogar Ki.jpg
Hi there! I've got a review request for Minjask.
Title: Villains of a Certain Age
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life,
Synopsis: Discord's old friends, Tirek and Grogar, bust him out of his stony prison and take him in. They spend the next few weeks catching up and doing what best friends do best: screwing around.
More than anything, can you give me a review of the humor in this? Did it make you laugh? Chuckle? Smirk even? Because I sent this into the EQD pre-readers not too long ago and they just said that it wasn't funny, and I'd like a little more in depth look at it. Thanks very much!
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As much as it pains me to turn down a story, the queue is permanently closed, as my colleague Professor Hugbox was so kind to point out. I'll be moving to The Training Grounds soon, assuming it's going to still be there when I get there, but that's not important at the moment.
No, not just yet, I've another review to post before then. I'll make the report myself when I'm ready, but thank you anyway.