So, what are the overall issues? First, the mechanical ones. It should be obvious by the frequency with which I had to point things out. Luna uses direct address far too often for reasonable conversation, you have lots of comma splices, non-speaking actions tacked onto speech with commas, missing commas for speech attributions, some missing quotation marks, spots of inappropriate telling, verb tense shifts, sound effects in narration, most of your semicolons are misused, multiple semicolons in a sentence, repetition of words, phrases, and sentence structures. You also use quite a lot of "to be" verbs. They're inherently boring. It's much more interesting to read about what happens, not what simply is. You should be choosing more active verbs.
Partly because of the telling, the narration is pretty dry and doesn't do enough to carry the emotion. Much of that is left solely to the dialogue, and this is most apparent in the two dream sequences from the first chapter, which were pretty dull.
On the good side, the action sequences kept up my interest, you have a nice, dark mood going, and your characterization of Bruce is quite good. His skepticism of Luna and his aloofness come across very well, and it was on the strength of that that I decided to give you a more detailed review.