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Jan 30It's happening. [Thread]

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128564 No. 128564 Locked Stickied [View]

Welcome to /fic/, the board for pony fanfiction and all things related to it! If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to drop by the #fic IRC.


  1. Threads and posts should pertain to written fiction.
  2. Threads should not be redundant.
  3. If you request a review of the same story from multiple people, let each of them know you have done so.

Note: All site-wide rules still apply.

No. 132106 [View]

What are some good fanfics out there? Stories that revolve around either halo, skyrim, WOW, military, humans, or rainbow dash are what interest me the most. But anything

Last edited at Sat, Feb 28th, 2015 22:48

>> No. 132107
I'm afraid I can't point you in any direction for your preferred genres.
And I'm desperately trying to avoid a plotbunny now.

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132089 No. 132089 [View]
Well, I’m sure the word is well enough out by now for most of you, but I’ve joined the Marine Corps, and I’m headed off for Boot Camp soon March 2nd. I’m signed on for four years of active duty, so I don’t know if I’ll ever see or talk to you guys again. I’m an electronic communications mechanic, so odds are I’ll be able to access a computer now and then, but I can’t be sure so I just want to make sure I’ve said this. I’m gonna miss you all, and as part of my goodbye, I’ve written a short blurb on what I’ll miss the most about all of you. I know some of them don’t seem like it, but these are from the heart, so I hope they’ll help you remember me as much as they help me remember you.

Despite its low traffic and visibility, /fic/ will always be my home as a writer. It’s where I realized how little I knew, and where I learned what I know now. I’ll never forget the people listed here.

The devil of /fic/. Never afraid to be brutally honest with someone. Caustic, blunt, and a cynical asshole to the core. He brought such energy to the board that it was just never the same without him. Also known for his wicked-awesome, creepy gifs. I grew to love those. And the final irony is that when I first came to /fic/ he said I wouldn’t last 200 posts; and while not a single one of my threads has made it that far, I’ve stayed here far longer than he has. Fate has a funny sense of humor. I’ll miss you, Ion.

Roger Dodger
Certainly the most level headed and down to earth member of the old /fic/ crew. Where he led, the crowd followed (even across sites). It felt like a mark of acceptance the day he commented on my first thread.
>> No. 132092
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Oh great, this is the one that makes me cry? That's messed up universe, thanks buckets for that one.

Anyways, all I was going to say is to have fun with the Marines, work hard, learn a bunch, and come through to the other side. There's work to be done, new things to apply, and I hope that you'll keep doing everything you can to be the best you can be...

And on a mildly unrelated tangent, should something happen in which you don't join the Marines for some unpredictable issue, feel free to come back should you still have free time.
There's always a light on, even should we merge into the other board.
>> No. 132095
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If life is like a river, then the writers and reviewers of /fic/ are like the stones within its bed, worn down by the current until either the softer rock is peeled away to reveal the brilliance hidden deep inside, or scattered into dust and whipped off into oblivion.

Perhaps this is a gentle current, tearing you from your place in the riverbed and casting you about the waters with all the other stones, before settling back into your place, battered and thinned but still strong as ever. Perhaps it is something stronger, ripping you from your place of comfort and throwing you to someplace new, where different adventures and different stones await your arrival, far from that which was your old home.

I don't know which case shall be truer nor, in the end, which shall give you greater joy. In either event, I shall nonetheless wish you safety and happiness in your endeavors. And, wherever you might go, know you touched those around you in ways both large and small, and know that our well-wishes go along beside you in your journeys.

Farewell for now, Bleeding Rain. I wish you luck, and may you find your place in this odd, odd world we call home.
>> No. 132104
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A friend of mine said of his military service, "You won't like it, but you won't regret it."

You'll have plenty of time to unplug and mull over what is and isn't important to you. If you've never experienced being physically fit, you'll come to respect the strength of mind that comes with strength of body.

Good luck. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.

No. 128883 [View] [Last 50 posts]

As everyone should know by now, Equestria Daily has gone almost exclusively to short bullet-point reviews, except in cases where only a small number of items need to be corrected for posting. I enjoy giving longer reviews, but can no longer do so through Equestria Daily, so I will post them here. I will only do so for stories that in my estimation would have passed the old automoon system; others will get only the bullet-point treatment in the email.

This thread is only for the authors in question and me. They are free to ask questions or ask me to remove their reviews from the thread for any reason. For any other traffic, I will ask a mod to delete it. General questions about Equestria Daily or the pre-reading process should be posted here:

Note that I won't give an exhaustive list of errors; I'll provide a representative list of the types of problems I find and leave it to the author to scour his story for the rest.

To avoid repeating myself, I'll post a few of the more common discussion topics up here; your review may refer you to one or more of these.

Dash and hyphen use:
Hyphens are reserved for stuttering and hyphenated words. Please use a proper dash otherwise. They can be the em dash (Alt+0151) with no spaces around it or en dash (Alt+0150) surrounded by spaces. Some usage (primarily American) employs only the em dash, while other usage (primarily British) employs an em dash for cutoffs and an en dash for asides. It doesn't matter which system an author uses, as long as he is consistent.
323 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 132099
>Gesture and setting are an important part of dialogue, but the tone I'd set for the story was fairly stripped back up until this point, and so I tried to continue that by stripping my dialogue of all but the most important physical cues.
If it were a short conversation, it wouldn't be much of an issue, but it does add a healthy touch of realism. When you're talking to a friend, do you notice him gesturing with his hands? Do you notice what face he makes in response to what you said? You want the reader's experience to mirror what real life would be like as much as possible. And just like a stock portfolio, diversification is key, in this case, diversity in the means used to convey information. We call this "talking heads," and certainly some readers are more sensitive to it than others. It wasn't horrible, or I would have mentioned it earlier, but it could use a bit more.

>And I have to ask, is it necessary?
Maybe? All I can say is that it bothered me. You made a point of having Apple Bloom there, and then I kept wondering when it was going to matter that she was. As much as AJ tries to take on the burden of the situation because of how it's affecting the rest of the family, it seems like she'd notice how Apple Bloom was reacting to the argument with Granny Smith, even if Apple Bloom keeps quiet.

>I figure she takes it off to sleep, just as Applejack, later, takes off her hair ties.
Could be. Though in "Somepony to Watch over Me," Sweetie Belle wears the bow as a disguise, and AJ wasn't surprised by it. She has it on during their sleepovers, too, in "One Bad Seed" and "The Stare Master."

>Could you explain the difference, please, or at least help me understand it better?
Well, it goes to the differences in narrative voices. An omniscient narrator has to present thoughts as quoted (or italicize
>> No. 132100

>Yes, there are times an unnecessary comma works for helping flow or organization.//

Find and replace is a wonderful tool. I've replaced the ", and" instances where it seems erroneous, but I've left a few where I think they work to good effect.

>They can feed him by IV//
But IV bags need to be changed, which means someone would need to enter the room, which defeats the point of sealing the room.

I'll tweak it, but any solid fix would cause such a mess that it would detract from the story.

>It just seems kind of irresponsible to lock him away and never check up on him again//
>> No. 132103
>But IV bags need to be changed, which means someone would need to enter the room, which defeats the point of sealing the room.
That's kind of my point. If they'd incapacitated him through something like sedation, then he wouldn't be dangerous, plus he wouldn't need to wake up to eat, thus he'd get even more rest. So I'm not sure why Twilight goes for the setup she does. However, there is a little inkling in there that she knows more than she's letting on. It makes me wonder if she knew what long odds they faced.

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132094 No. 132094 [View]
#Sad #Dark #Adventure

Ok... I see no one cared about my last thread... so how about this.

Here's my fic, critique if you care. I would be very thankful.

2 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 132101
Thanks for the heads up. I don't usually go on these types of sites, but a friend recommended it to me so here I am.

I like to think I'm competent enough to not have to read the instructions, but since you had to tell me this, just shows what i know.
>> No. 132102
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ouch, those are some heavy hitters.

The only reason, I added the second description was because Fim Fiction said I had too. (In retrospect I probably could have added a single character to bypass the system)

I already knew there would be some grammatical mistakes because I'm only decent at proof reading, not great. As for the Zecora thing, i did look it up because i wasn't sure, i guess i used a bad source.

As for you not liking it in general. I guess I picked a bad writing style for this fic. Maybe i was trying to get too many ideas down too quickly, or maybe i just suck.

Would you prefer it if i wrote it something like this?
>> No. 132105
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Well, it's kind of a run on paragraph and hard to read.
And onomatopoeia like *splat* in prose is really questionable.
fallowed by Intense heat - Combo. Misspelling and capitalization error.
And you end up repetitive really quickly: The, It, and A especially.
It does seem to give the passage a passive voice. The roar explodes out, Twilight doesn't seem to have control over it or anything really. Or her eyes. I never really understood passive and active voice entirely, but this removes the characters capacity to act because they're are no longer choosing to act.
The smirk bursts onto her face, instead of Twilight smirking. It removes her capability to act on the story.

> Is that what your looking for?
No, it's not the events that take place in the story that I have problems with. I'd like to like the story actually.

Oh, you edited it after the last time I looked at it. That's... that's great.

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132068 No. 132068 [View]
#Single fic #Normal #Human


Is this salvageable? Please critique me.
5 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 132084
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>I want to see the core idea that causes people to start writing a fanfic in the first place.
>The best place to see that is the first chapter.
How many of my stories have you read? Usually the scene I wrote the entire story around doesn't happen until chapter three or four.

Last edited at Sat, Feb 21st, 2015 08:59

>> No. 132085
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>All that said, you have the creativity. There is some reason that you started writing this story, and you need to go back to that.

What sent me from the conception stage to production, like I previously mentioned, was change. How much change and what intervals the change takes place in, however, was left out of the equation. Realizing this, I confirmed my doubt about being able to have satisfactory change presented in my writing, one of the reasons I wrote in the first place.

>Don't worry about set up, execution, or themes. Just write the thing that's in your heart.

The problem with that is due to the flawed nature of my core idea that was the basis for my writing. It is flawed at a conceptual level; like you pointed out, I didn't have a set end goal, simply a series of events that lead into each other. In the end, the entire story lost its outline, and I was unable to grasp the flow I wanted.
>> No. 132091
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>How many of my stories have you read?
A few if memory serves correctly:
>Usually the scene I wrote the entire story around doesn't happen until chapter three or four.
Let me amend the statement then. I've gotten surprisingly accurate at predicting themes, word choice, pacing, and execution, to tell the general direction of a story from subtle hints set up in the first 500 words; including plot twists and character complexity, from being a reader and having to make snap decisions in that vein for years.

Because people telegraph their writing style. We can't help it. The core idea should permeate the entire work. If you're writing the story because there's going to be a falling out between Twilight and Spike, the seeds of that falling out should be in place early, because that's what the story is about.

The first words of a story should be setting the environment for the bulk of the story. That's why weather reports are so boring. There's a limited number of ways you can say 'It's a sunny day', and if the story is set indoors or on different days, that information is a waste of time.

I don't know how you would end that story, but I should see the structural building blocks of that story at the entry way.

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132090 No. 132090 [View]
#Author #Discussion

Sup pony people? let's chat about fics we've written as well as sharing them. Hopefully we can learn how to write fics better in the process.

So here's the first chapter of a fic I've started recently, under a new username-(Since i forgot my damn password...). It's called The Nightmare that Came to Ponyville, It's coming together nicely i think. It's definitely giving me less trouble then other works in the past. Anyway, it's a dark/sad/adventure piece where Twilight's life gets fucked. that's the short version anyway.


As for discussion, here's a question to get things rolling. how do you go about sharing your fics? do you post them up on websites all over the place trying to find an audience somewhere/anywhere, or just post them in one place and let your people/friends come to you?

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131375 No. 131375 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Reviewer #The Training Grounds

Previous thread: >>128937

Welcome one and all to the Training Grounds, the review thread for authors and reviewers, both newcomers and seasoned veterans alike! Do jump in and participate if you can. New reviewers, editors and authors are always welcome! After a year of low activity we finally hit autosage, and it’s time for a new thread. Put some wood on the fire, sip some cocoa/tea/coffee/wine or whatever your drink is, and let’s ship some ponies get those quills moving.

How to get a review: Post a story with its title, description, tags, and a link to it where applicable. Please include all of these in your post and not just a Fimfiction link to a title page.
Remember that while reviewers love to read, they will often lean towards being critical. Don’t be discouraged—use their criticism to improve your writing!

How to review stories: Write what you think about the story (or review) and post it in a reply. Writers want their work to shine so point out faults with gusto, but don't avoid compliments either—if something makes you smile, a few kind words can add a lot to your review.
Put a * in front of the subject field if you’d like your review reviewed.
[hide] tags are useful for long replies.

66 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 132065
Review acknowledged.

If I might ask, what did you think of the story itself?
>> No. 132070
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I found it cute but a little dry, as the pacing wasn't quite to my preferred speed (like I said, a little trimming here and there wouldn't likely hurt this story too much). And, like I also said, slice-of-life is not particularly something I generally make a habit of seeking out, and this story didn't feel like it went too far out of its way to convince me otherwise.

But, with that in mind, that's mostly me and my particular tastes. As far as I can really tell, your story's kind of like a bag of plain potato chips: not something you'd pay fortunes to obtain, but that's nonetheless nice to sit back and snack on once in a while. And I'm okay with that. The story knew what it wanted to be, and proceeded to be it without any shame or doubts. While not groundbreaking or exceptionally deep, I can nonetheless appreciate the value in something that is competently made and fulfills a need without feeling the need to prove itself as the most unique snowflake ever spat out the clouds of thought.
>> No. 132086
Hi there. This is my fist fic in a long long while. And my first time posting here for help.

The premise is after the end of season four Celestia decides the four princesses need to go on a vacation so she sets one up for them all and a few guards of course. And things won't be quite so peaceful of course, otherwise there wouldn't be an action tag, but that will come later. I just have the first chapter done so far and I'm hoping to get some help on how I can improve!

I know my grammar isn't quite the best, but I'm hoping writing will help me fix that!

Thank you in advance for your reading and help!

I hope I'm doing these tags and stuff right?

Tags: Action (Later), Romance, Slice of Life.

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132073 No. 132073 [View]
Is this board a good place to seek such things? If not where would be a good place for me to go, if you kind folks have any suggestions.
>> No. 132076
A few of us do proofreading but it's recommended you post in a specific thread. I would recommend the Training Grounds.

If you don't get many results here, try one of these FimFiction groups.
>> No. 132083
Many thanks friend!

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131168 No. 131168 [View]


Hey ya'll. ok, so I got done with this fic a week ago. I'm really looking for some extra support. Perhaps a review or a YouTube fanfic reading? Just a few suggestions ^-^ looking forward to hearing from ya'll

Last edited at Tue, Nov 11th, 2014 18:16

12 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 131190
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I'm glad you're up to the part where you don't listen anyways.
It lets me know when my time is being wasted effectively.

At least your tags don't suck this time. What do I mean?
You know which tags don't work on Love Songs? Mane 6-Angel-DJ Pon3-OC.

The youtube link out of the box is tasteless. So tasteless I'm actually opting out of reading this.


Congrats. I'm sure it's worth something being able to terrify me out of looking at a fanfic without resorting to twincest or bloodsport.
>> No. 132054
>> No. 132082
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> -_-

You did ask.

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131129 No. 131129 [View]

For those of you that use this board, how would you feel about it being merged with another?

The reason for this idea is that a majority of this boards regulars are condensed into only a few threads, which could easily fit into another board's community without major upheaval.
This would also have the benefit of giving new threads a wider audience.

The current plan i have is to merge with /art/ and /collab/ into a single board (With a tentative name of /fan/, for lack of any other ideas) , but i'm making all three of these threads simultaneously so that plan is subject to change.

Another benefit to merging with those two boards in particular is that /art/ could provide inspiration for authors, while /collab/ may need a creative writer for whatever project is posted.

In any case, discuss the pros and cons of the idea in this thread.
I'll give fair warning before THE RECKONING happens, if it does at all.
43 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 132066
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>All the Kim hate
I thought he was tolerable. Granted, if he'd gone any more off the deep end in regards to those... interests of his, my opinion might have darkened a bit.

Interesting choice of picture, considering /fic/ is pretty much a bleached skeleton of its former self, but I prefer to think that's more indicative of a form of transcendence to another realm than its untimely death.
>> No. 132069
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> a form of transcendence to another realm than its untimely death.
It has achieved it's perfect form, stumbling into a nagging voice that hopefully makes people stop, look at what they're doing, declare it to be shit and start over.
Shambling horrors FTW.

>All the Kim hate
Ehh, I'm 50/50 myself. No one is entirely terrible, and everybody gets a free edgelord phase. No reason to upgrade to hate really.

Whelp, I've got a first chapter to read, and dreams to crush.
>> No. 132108
It's deserved, trust me. Kim's like a fireball. The closer you are, the more you get burned.

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6938 No. 6938 [View] [Last 50 posts]
TL;DR - A Choose Your Own Adventure... With Ponies!

Hey fellow bronies! I've been writing a few stories lately and I've noticed just how big the sensual fiction thread has gotten. So, being the attention horsee that I am, I thought to myself "How can I get into this action without exposing myself to the dubious nature of pony lime?" Indeed, what else then a limey story like that using second-person narrative?
And then it hit me.
A choose your own adventure story!

And so I have crafted this tale. Concerning a certain Pony who has hit rough times and is looking for a big break, said Pony will go on a grand adventure with the main (Mane) cast to find fame, fortune and possibly even love (Haf'ta get them limey lovers in here somehow)!

Now, being that I lack cannot for the life of me come up with a method to properly imitate a CYOA book without making hundreds of seperate interlocking pages (And being too lazy to actually bother doing so too) this will instead be less of a "Choose your path" and more of a "Select what progresses the story forward or get a smarmy answer for your duncery." There will, of course, be minor branches but these will be limited, both to keep the story from becoming Dr. Whoofs nightmare in regards to paradoxes but also so that I can regularly update with new chapters; four paths would mean half the writing in twice the time, after all!

The process will work like this; purple prose will break up the story to keep things chugging along while occasional questions will pop up to keep things fresh. Simply match up the question with right answer and you get to go on! Answer wrong and you'll get an earful in early chapters while suffering a terrible fate (With the occasional life-bondage to a hoof-massage fetish-lover, just for you limes) by the climax! The answers will be spoilered to keep prying eyes from seeing them; remember, half the game is reliant on you being trustworthy enough not to peek (Although once you've progressed you should take a look anyways; I worked hard on those wrong answers!).
318 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 121855
I did not, no. Spambot, I imagine.
>> No. 128121

I'm sorry to be a bother but is this story still underway? If it is already done is there some way to get to it? Yes I do know the thread has been dead for almost a year, I'm just wondering if I can continue reading your great literature.
>> No. 132067
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One last post bump for the grandaddy of /fic/. Celestia speed, you magnificent bastards.

Figured it'd be fitting to end the thread with a picture like the original.

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132061 No. 132061 [View]
Can you recommend me a fic, /fic/?

I'm looking for a fic that revolves completely around lesbian love-triangles and melodrama

Basically a pony version of Strawberry Panic

No. 132047 [View]

Hit me up

>> No. 132051
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That's a neat accomplishment list you've got there. Nice to see new young authors still at it. Keep writing.

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131454 No. 131454 [View]

I've been in a rut. Used to, I was burning with enthusiasm for, not just the show, but writing my own stories about FiM. But in the last few months, I feel like I've lost that loving feeling. I feel nothing for, not just FiM, but many of my favorite shows. And now, I'm only making myself finish my FiM fics because I never finished a fic and I want to actually finish one for once. I was wondering if I got bored with the shows I watched or am I suffering from depression or am I going through a temporary rut and is there any way out of it or will I have to wait it out or, worst of all, give up and accept the melancholy?

Pic related
8 posts omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 132048
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I don't even remember my tripcode. It's been so long. I hope that's the right one.
I was a reviewer in a sense. I was more useful as an editor I think. I have no regrets. Editing fics gave me an edge that none of my classmates had. I made some sick English papers. Now I've graduated community college. I want to be a locksmith. I don't have the drive to do what I once did for /fic/. It was fun while I was here. I feel bad for making such good friends, only to fade away like I did, and am still doing. Life goes on though. My life is just beginning.
>> No. 132049
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Isphone, you are a true bro. I believe it's you even though you don't remember your tripcode. I remember you. I'm so happy to see you've found a passion in life. Having a passion is what's really important in life, I think. Because without some obligatory basal impetus, like that of a protagonist in a story, numero uno becomes that much less interesting. Maybe our obsession with writing pony stories that much better gave us some practice with seeing just how far we could take an obsession despite its inherent absurdity, being a fringe pastime associated with a cult fandom of a TV show meant for kids. Let us take that spark beyond /fic/, beyond My Little Pony, and beyond the internet.

Also, Incidentally I remember my trip artificially via some web browser thing.

Also, I want to come out and say >>131460 was me. Yea, OP, cheer up and watch something different, or go outside and stare at dirt or somethings. The world is full of wonder.
>> No. 132050
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Good to see you, and those are very fine words you speak. I hope, as you do, that they help those in need of uplifting, but I learned in life that people go about stress and stuff like that in their own way. No one really knows exactly how someone else feels. I can only really say that there are many who wish you the best, OP.
I got rid of most of my pony reaction images when I changed computers. I'm still a brony, I just don't have my hands intertwined in the living breathing guts of the fandom anymore. So... here's the wool lion head from Samurai Cop.

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