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128564 No. 128564 Locked Stickied [View]

Welcome to /fic/, the board for pony fanfiction and all things related to it! If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to drop by the #fic IRC.


  1. Threads and posts should pertain to written fiction.
  2. Threads should not be redundant.
  3. If you request a review of the same story from multiple people, let each of them know you have done so.

Note: All site-wide rules still apply.

>> No. 128565
  • >>128414 General – Ask an Equestria Daily Pre-reader Anything
  • >>128937 Open reviews – The Training Grounds
  • >>128162 Reviewer – NickNack
  • >>128349 Reviewer – PinkieAnon

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131119 No. 131119 [View]

"My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will not remember me. You won't even remember this conversation. Just like with everypony else I've ever met, everything I do or say will be forgotten. Every letter I've written will appear blank; every piece of evidence I've left behind will end up missing. I'm stuck here in Ponyville because of the same curse that has made me so forgettable. Still, that doesn't stop me from doing the one thing that I love: making music. If my melodies find their way into your heart, then there is still hope for me. If I can't prove that I exist, I can at least prove that my love for each and every one of you exists. Please, listen to my story, my symphony, for it is me."

Suppose that it was you, not Twilight, whom Lyra said these chilling words to. What would be your response?

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83737 No. 83737 Autosaged [View] [Last 50 posts]
Welcome, one and all, to the THIRTEENTH iteration of the round-table discussion that is known to some as THE CONVERSION BUREAU Thread! Started back in March, this over-arching fanon universe of The Conversion Bureau has spawned over 50 spin-offs, many worthy of standing on their own as fantastic stories in their own right. Come in, sit down, have a cold one, and enjoy your reading! Feel free to participate if you feel so inclined to do so!

Obligatory video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXoYK4b_q24

Old Thread: >>72569

We’re always ready to welcome new writers and any ideas they may have! Also, make sure to comment and give feedback on new stories and new updates! Authors absolutely love hearing what people think of their work. Be sure to try to offer civil and constructive criticism if you find any problems with their story! (They like it when you do that) If you don't say anything, you are depriving the author of input that could make their story 10 times better, so speak up whether you're a lurker or a regular poster! Who knows, you might even come up with something used generally like PER, r63 potion, Purification and I'm probably forgetting something but oh well.

Also, this still might be my last TCB thread. As such I am gonna be a little bit ambitious.

*** Only the new or updated stories will be posted below. ***
399 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 131115
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1. I don't know which story you're referring to, so probably.

2. Google Docs are favorable because they don't take up space on one's PC, they autosave in realtime, they are easy to share, and editing/commenting features make them easy for outsiders to help edit. All of these factors make them a very desirable platform when requesting editing help or feedback on the story.
>> No. 131117
Oh shit did I really not say which fic I was talking about? "TCB: First Contact" by Purple Prose.

Wow, I can't believe I did that.

As for Google docs, that sounds very useful. I would have been glad to have been fixing a hell of a lot of grammar and not a few typos reading FoE. But once the story is done why don't people move or copy it to other places? The fic I'm referring to isn't on fimfiction for some reason and... hell is there any other place for people to put this stuff? I guess EQD just has links to Google docs?

Not keeping a story on one's personal computer just sounds insane to me. The size of text files is negligible. Do people really do that!?
>> No. 131118
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I've never read any of those. Don't care to, either, so unfortunately I can't help you there.

I generally store my scriblings on Gdocs, and copy it elsewhere if I intend to publicize it. Fimfiction is arguably the most popular, given its specialization in fan fiction promotion and presentation, not to mention all the cool features. Everyone has their preferences, though. Some prefer the look of Google Documents, some like to use Fanfiction.net, and some people actually use pastebin. Go figure. I'm sure there are other websites I haven't thought of as well.

Last edited at Fri, Oct 31st, 2014 03:24

No. 128883 [View] [Last 50 posts]

As everyone should know by now, Equestria Daily has gone almost exclusively to short bullet-point reviews, except in cases where only a small number of items need to be corrected for posting. I enjoy giving longer reviews, but can no longer do so through Equestria Daily, so I will post them here. I will only do so for stories that in my estimation would have passed the old automoon system; others will get only the bullet-point treatment in the email.

This thread is only for the authors in question and me. They are free to ask questions or ask me to remove their reviews from the thread for any reason. For any other traffic, I will ask a mod to delete it. General questions about Equestria Daily or the pre-reading process should be posted here:

Note that I won't give an exhaustive list of errors; I'll provide a representative list of the types of problems I find and leave it to the author to scour his story for the rest.

To avoid repeating myself, I'll post a few of the more common discussion topics up here; your review may refer you to one or more of these.

Dash and hyphen use:
Hyphens are reserved for stuttering and hyphenated words. Please use a proper dash otherwise. They can be the em dash (Alt+0151) with no spaces around it or en dash (Alt+0150) surrounded by spaces. Some usage (primarily American) employs only the em dash, while other usage (primarily British) employs an em dash for cutoffs and an en dash for asides. It doesn't matter which system an author uses, as long as he is consistent.
274 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 131112
Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

>and since I’m light on funds these days//
Needs a comma for the dependent clause.

You don't need to hyphenate two-word descriptors when the first is an -ly adverb.

>though knowing Applejack and Rainbow Dash//
Comma for the dependent clause.

>So help me//
>> No. 131113
Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

>letting her thoughts roam about//
It's ambiguous whom this describes. Grammatically speaking, Luna is presumed, but you likely meant Celestia.

>Leaves of varying fall colors fell down around them, covering the path.//
Note that you're already falling into somewhat of a repetitive sentence structure. Three of the four so far have a participle, and they all occur at the same point in their sentences, too. The beginning of a story really needs to shine. It's a reader's first impression and one of the parts they'll remember the best.


>She hated days like those, and today had been one of those days.//
>> No. 131116
Note that this list is not comprehensive. I picked out a few examples of each kind of error or problem I found. Of course, not everything is a black-and-white issue; this is not a list of things you have to fix, but take each under advisement.

>Her hair wisped around her face and her coat rippled in a gentle wind.//
Comma between the clauses.

>Smoke rose from the chimney of the cozy cottage, indicating its other inhabitant was still home.//
That doesn't necessarily follow, unless she knows his routine so well that he wouldn't leave an unattended fire, but she doesn'y say so.

>containing fresh cut grass, greens from the garden, and extra water//
You'll normally set off participial phrases with a comma.

>rolling hills in the distance covered in oranges and reds by the forest of broad leaved trees growing on them//

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128937 No. 128937 [View] [Last 50 posts]
#Reviewer #The Training Grounds
Previous thread: >>128053

Welcome one and all to the Training Grounds, the review thread authors and reviewers, both newcomers and seasoned veterans alike! With the closing of the spreadsheet, we’re going back to square one: just stories, reviews, and this thread right here. Things will be kept track of by hoof, wing, and/or claw with a listing every so often.

How to get a review: Post a story with its title, description, tags, and a link to it where applicable. Please include all of these in your post and not just a Fimfiction link to a title page.

How to review: Write what you think about a story (or review) and post it in a reply. Put a * in front of the subject field if you’d like your review reviewed.

List of unclaimed stories: >>129398

Last edited at Thu, Feb 13th, 2014 11:07

349 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 131093
I have written more words, and I now need eyes on them. I'm looking for story feedback on chapter three specifically, but if you'd like to read the rest of it it's all in doc.

>Title, synopsis, tags: >>131035
Wordcount: 4,243 (out of a total 11,237)
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_KnJ77OJkWqd5H006lqY8SDOrNLm7nymAHOcmwh87Dg/edit#heading=h.pj98r1s4q1ac

Last edited at Mon, Oct 13th, 2014 22:11

>> No. 131102
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Typed this up about an hour ago. It's completely unrefined, so I'll be doing some clean up, but I thought I'd drop it here and see if anything bites.

Title: Night of Disarray
Tags: Sad, Slice of Life
Synopsis: Hoping to find something she'd lost, Twilight Sparkle returns to her old home, Ponyville. The rundown town still holds a few surprises, and some old faces. Sometimes a good friend is all you really need to face the night.
Word count: 4,086
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kO2fHKnS7oiOgu0_vtVr3N30P86NeYG9CRIjqFM8OSY/edit
>> No. 131111

I don't really like to review later chapters of fics if I haven't reviewed the earlier ones, so I'll claim this one. Unfortunately, I know you like using gdoc comments, but I typically work on reviews while offline, so comments aren't really a feasible method for this. If this is an issue, let me know and I'll relinquish my claim.

Otherwise, I plan to get at least an overview done by Thursday.

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131110 No. 131110 [View]
#Single fic #Sad

It had been fifteen years since his brother had passed away by taking his own life Joel having been only been fourteen at the time and his brother only two years older he witnessed his brothers demise this scarred his already frail and fragile young mind and he has carried this heavy baggage around with him and grieved over the loss of his beloved brother ever since. Now Joel is twenty nine and still resides within his penthouse in bronx he had bought with the money he had inherited from his father when he had died. Joel is still upholding his rather playboyish lifestyle. But this week more particularly this day was different. On a normal week joel would've picked some gullible mare off the street and date here for a week or two then leave her a few weeks later. But this week was different this week happened to contain the day of the anniversary of that fateful day his brother had snapped under all the pressure and decided to put an end to all the pain of having to witness the constant quarreling between their parents. This day he had knew was coming however something unexpected was headed his way later this day that.That being the closure to end this grief over his brother once and for all. Closure to this pain is not something he consciously sought after its something his troubled mind yurned for. he had promised himself he would stop by Calvary Cemetery today to to pay his respects to his brother as he did every year on the anniversary.Little did he know this particular visit would change his life forever and hed also meet a new friend (expect updates on this post as the day passes)

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131084 No. 131084 [View]

Hey Everyone. I'm doing a show on Scary fic's for Nightmare Night (Halloween) tomorrow and I would like some suggestions on what fics you think are scary.
>> No. 131094
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I'll refrain from plugging my own, but here are two that I enjoyed muchly. I don't care if it's not a word.

Forever Faithful [www.fimfiction.net] by Konseiga
Slender Mane [www.equestriadaily.com] by Chicken Vortex

Last edited at Tue, Oct 14th, 2014 23:01

>> No. 131105
That Slender Mane link leads to an expired file. I tracked down a copy and made a new Gdoc

Last edited at Tue, Oct 21st, 2014 01:08

No. 131103 [View]

MLP Story idea

Working title: "I will marry you"

I have not wrote any fan fiction in a long time but decided to try it again. This is an idea I have for a story but need help to flesh it out and spot plot holes

Takes place ~2 years after season 4, involving a romantic & sexual relationship between Twilight and Flash Sentry. They want to get married and run into severe resistance to this desire.

IT WILL NOT BE A CLOP FIC. The idea is that their relationship has advanced to the point were they're sexually active, but no description or scenes of this will be in the story.


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131096 No. 131096 [View]

Hello, I am a new writer to the site of FIMfiction who's pen name is Wings of Liberation. I have been chewing on the idea of publishing this Doctor Whooves story I wrote a couple months ago in Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy format. I have also been snacking on the idea of continuing one of my friend's stories that he had to abandon for personal reasons. But, I've also been wanting to make a new fanfiction. So, I was wondering if /fic/ had any ideas on what they'd like to see written. I would prefer it if the idea was along the roots of an Ask fic because those are always fun to write.
1 post omitted. (Expand)
>> No. 131098
It works relatively the same, only in a different layout without any pictures.
>> No. 131099
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Do you still run it as a blog, then, so people can ask questions?
>> No. 131100
Actually, most Ask fics use the reviews/comments section to receive asks.

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32807 No. 32807 [View] [Last 50 posts]
As you may be able to tell by my chosen moniker, I enjoy me some Warhammer 40K. And the thought of smashing two settings so thematically opposed together... amused me. So it should be no surprise that I've been picking away at something of a crossover fanfic.

Using MLP as the starting point (obviously), I imagined what it would be like if Equestria became more like the Imperium. What I shot for was something in between, with the rough edges of the granddaddy of grimdark, while still retaining some of the ponies' lighthearted, cartoony nature. Hopefully I succeeded.

Unfortunately, I'm something of a sluggish writer on projects as large as this appears to be, so updates will likely be few and far between. Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcome. And I've always found encouragement to help motivate me too. ;)
So with probably some further ado, here is chapter one:
If the response is good, and I get some more written, I'll get it out to other venues.
63 posts omitted. (View thread)
>> No. 130174
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Well, that took a while. It's actually my longest chapter to date, by word count, but it still probably should not have taken as long as it has. Still, I'm undeterred. Hopefully getting closer to some parts I've been excited for will keep me motivated.

>> No. 131061
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Still plugging away. I don't really expect anyone to read this thread anymore, but it's the most accurate record I have regarding my writing of this story.

But just in case...

>> No. 131063
whoa, you still update? cool

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131062 No. 131062 [View]
#Single fic #Sad

Apologies if I'm posting incorrectly, I'm unfamiliar with this site. I'm posting here to advertise my fanfic, "Twilight Falls, Sunset Dawns".

In this fic (begun before Rainbow Rocks and quietly ignoring it) Sunset returns to Equestria and uses a relic to switch bodies with Twilight and steal her life. From where Twilight is sent to live with Sunset's old mentor and learns her history with him and Celestia while Sunset lives Twilight's life and struggles to reconcile Twilight's lifestyle with the one she wants. Backstory, drama, and tears ensue.

Besides general feedback, I'd be interested in an English-fluent pre-reader to help me with matters of spelling and grammar. :)


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131049 No. 131049 [View]

Dear /fic/,

All I want to say is thank you. Thank you that you gents and occasional gall helped me to improve my basic understanding of English. Never before I knew that semicolons, ellipsis, dashes and much more could be used in the ways you showed me.

There are people who I tried to help through reviews and those who helped me try to better the train wrecks I never published. These people know who they are.

Al in al it was great, /fic/ here and on mlpchan had its ups and downs. Eventually most migrated to the IRC. That one, however, is kinda empty. Better said quiet.

So long and thanks for all the tips!

>> No. 131050
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It's been a pleasure, an honor, and a privilege learning, teaching, writing and reviewing around here.
>> No. 131058
Good to know you, Split, but I hope this doesn't mean you're done with ponies for good. I still pop into IRC a few times a week, most reliably late Saturday night.

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130894 No. 130894 [View]

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this, since it's not really a fic and it's probably not going to be one, but I would still like some feedback on an idea of mine from writers and readers. Naturally, this is all based on the season 4 episode Power Ponies.

I formed an evil anti-Power Ponies team of villains with powers that specifically counter the abilities and strengths of the PPs, as well as being similarly based on the personalities of the Mane 6. They might be evil clones, I don't really know, but they look mostly like the Mane 6 like the PPs do. I'm really proud of them, so any suggestions or feedback would be very much appreciated :)

Fillisecond's super speed is rather easy to defeat. Stickywicket is practically made of sticky bubblegum, allowing her to immobilize anyone who tries to brawl with her or gets caught in one of her sticky gum traps. She's very giggly and pranksterish, and can also do comical maneuvers like inflating her own head and floating away (Like Pinkie did that one time).

Radiance's attack constructs are dependent on her focus, which is why her evil counterpart Mesmeralda uses her dazzling charm and blinding lightshows to distract and beguile her opponents. She can be seductive when it helps her get past security, and is difficult to chase down when laser lights and smoke aid in her escape. I can totally imagine her and Radiance getting caught up in simple banter, calling each other ugly and insulting each other's style.

There's no force in the world that can stop Saddlerager, which is why Yellowbelly uses the opposite of force. Her extreme meekness and timidity is phenomenally disarming, and when she bursts into tears it's near impossible to stand up against her. The other members of the team tend to bully her, and even use her as a distraction to escape, but make no mistake, she's just as evil as the rest.

Mistress Mare-velous has practically no powers above what any ordinary unicorn can do, and has a "capturing" motif with her lasso. As such, MissFortu
>> No. 131047
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Whoo, someone made some art for Stickywicket!
And they're working on Mesmeralda next!

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131041 No. 131041 [View]
#Discussion #Normal

Voicing over this (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/215451/the-lost-human) because we can. Need voice actors for Luna, Chrysalis and Celestia, though - anyone interested?

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130986 No. 130986 [View]
#Discussion #Sci-fi

From "Friendship is Optimal" by Iceman. ITT if CelestAI took over the world and you emigrated to Equestria, what would your shard be like?

I would be a permanent graduate student (but with less stress) studying horticulture, doing research, doing gardening and greenhouse work and occasionally exploring the world (not limited to Equestria) and discovering new species of plants. I'd definitely request a better memory. My social life would be like a moe slice-of-life anime with my friends and I hanging around drinking tea, eating cake, talking about silly things, reading, and watching anime because anime, the internet and video games would definitely still exist. No coltfriends or romance. The university I studied at would be very diverse with not only unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasi, but donkeys, griffins, zebras, dragons, minotaurs, possibly even deers, okapis, qirins, and giraffes, etc going by hooves seemingly = talking by show standards.

Last edited at Wed, Aug 20th, 2014 14:26

>> No. 131034
I would be a pony of the stage; a singer, an actor, an entertainer! I'd live in a cozy house in the hills, like the Regent Square area of Pittsburgh, where the neighborhood is like a town of its own. In my spare time, I'd be learning something new whenever I could: a new language, dance, martial arts, cooking, anything! I'd always have something to do and someone to talk to of I needed them.

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