So what I'm about to say might offend some people, it has before: sorry ahead of time. If you want to play the social game you have to figure out the 'rules'. If you think it is manipulative of me to suggest this, thats fine and I respect your opinion: but not learning how the human social interaction game mechanisms work and/or refusing to consider how to use them while also reinforcing your relationships is going to leave you way behind in the 'social arms race' to people who do this naturally and even without thinking. If you think it is some kind of merit to act like you're 'above' these mechanisms and hence above using them in effective ways, well good luck with that attitude: you're human just like the rest of us, these mechanisms impact you even if you think you can not participate in them.
First and foremost, I would suggest a book or audiobook to you 'why him why her' by helen fisher. This will give you some tips on relationship types, personality types in relation to relationships, how those match up and how to spot these types through visual and audio cues, and what these types like and dislike about other types. From here you can identify your 'type' and look for your 'matching types' to flirt with you. Now you start to understand how this whole 'love at first sight/lust at first sight' thing is working. Play to your advantages. Play to theirs.
I am going to go with my suggestion about picking a venue or event weekly or bi-weekly to attend regularly, because this will get you 'established' socially. It will likely be slow and unwieldy at first, but just keep working at it and your 'social life' in that setting will start to crop up. I'm a very quiet person so it took me about a month before I noticed this, but just keep investing time and effort and remember to relax and have a little fun. DRINK RESPONSIBLY DO NOT GET A DUI OR THIS WHOLE EXPERIMENT WILL BE OVER. If you don't like to drink, offer to be Designated Driver sometime down the road: I genuinely think that my role as DD many times actually la